“Ally” comes from the Latin word alligare, meaning “to bind to.” We may be familiar with the term in the context of nations that are allies. They make a commitment to act together and protect each other. The Bible paints a similar picture in marriage when it speaks of a…
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The Two Most Important Questions to Ask If You Have a Setback
Recently, a married man from a support group I lead had two setbacks (or relapses) with porn on the same day. But rather than quitting, he sheepishly retorted, “It was just what the doctor ordered!” One of the hardest things to understand or accept is that setbacks may be a part…
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Day 10: The Science of Craving
Neuroscience knows that willpower is a function of the prefrontal regions of the brain. But our willpower can be thwarted by other parts of the brain that crave rewards and hold memories of how to get rewarding neurochemistry. Scientific studies confirm that using porn over and over actually reshapes these areas of the brain,…
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Good Kids Get Hooked on Porn Too: Pastor Noah’s Story (Part 1)
I’m 37. This is relevant because you can tell a lot about someone’s sexual purity story by how old they were in the mid-’90s, also known as when the internet became as common in households as the telephone or television. For me, this was 7th grade. I’m a bit biased…
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For Singles: How to Handle a Strong Sex Drive in a God-Honoring Way
With tears streaming down my face, I sat alone in my room. As a 22-year-old Christian single woman, I was battling against my flesh and the sexual temptations in my mind…again. I wanted to be pure. I wanted to fight against the lust in my life. I wanted to honor…
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5 Quick Tips for Staying Sexually Sober During the Holidays
As a Sexual Integrity Mentor™, I see it happen every holiday season to many of the men I mentor. Slips. Relapses. People essentially take a holiday from their recovery, and as a result, fall back into many of their old sexual sin habits. It can make for a very “Bah,…
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How Building “Negative Emotion Tolerance” Helps Us Pursue Sexual Purity
Admittedly, the title of this post is a mouthful, but if you’ll stick with me it won’t be as complicated as it sounds, and it will be worth your time. What Is “Negative Emotion Tolerance”? What is negative emotion tolerance? It is our ability to endure unpleasant emotions. Many of…
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Women Addicted to Porn: What You Need to Know to Break Free
“I’m a girl, I struggle with this daily, I fail daily,” said Pauli. “I was hooked and feared being found out and rejected as the freak I felt I was,” shares Jennifer. Raechel told us, “I see many guys here and just wanted to let the women reading this know…
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Why do I feel shame from watching porn?
After helping people quit porn for more than 20 years, we know there’s a strong connection between porn and shame. Most research psychologists and sociologists recognize this connection. However, many still debate which comes first. Does feeling shame about porn cause people to consider it an addiction? Or does porn…
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How a Little “Harmless” Entertainment Can Affect Your Husband
Numerous Christian men I’ve counseled have shared how their Christian wives read romance novels and watch movies and shows that contain nudity in front of them, even asking them to watch with them. Ironically, these men are trying their hardest to remain sexually pure for their wives, while their wives…
