The 40 Day Challenge Part 1: Run From

Neuroscience knows that willpower is a function of the prefrontal regions of the brain. But our willpower can be thwarted by other parts of the brain that crave rewards and hold memories of how to get rewarding neurochemistry.

Scientific studies confirm that using porn over and over actually reshapes these areas of the brain, literally eroding our willpower and our moral compass.

This is a type of what addiction therapists call hypofrontality. Hypofrontality and compulsiveness are good exchange words. This is present in all manners of addictions.

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What Is Hypofrontality?

To the compulsive porn user, when the craving for porn surfaces, their whole body gears up for action. As unhindered hormones are released and neurotransmitters fire, the craving consumes them. The heart begins to race, blood pressure rises, and they are consumed by a single thought: “Just one more time.” The brain feels these desires as compelling needs. The prefrontal region is supposed to be able to weigh consequences and situations and judiciously shut down cravings, but hypofrontality means the body’s ability to do this is impaired.

How Do You Cure Hypofrontality?

To bring the executive decision making back into working order (1) the old neural pathways must be starved, and (2) new neural pathways must be built and fed with positive activity.

1. Starve: Stop All Pornography and Fantasy

When we have a slip or binge, we use, maintain, and reinvigorate neural pathways that crave porn.

But when we make conscious choices to turn away from porn and engage in healthy behaviors, our prefrontal lobes and our decision-making power grow stronger. It’s like exercising a muscle. The more time you do it the stronger you become.

This advice feels to many like a catch-22. “You tell me I’ve killed my willpower by looking at porn. So now the way to increase my willpower is by willing myself not to look at porn. How does that work? Isn’t that like telling the alcoholic to ‘just stop it’”?

The big difference between “just stop it” and a conscious effort to rewire your brain is this: The person being told to “just stop it” has no hope that the cravings will ever be different. When they hear “just stop it,” they hear, “Live with these intense cravings the rest of your life and never give into them.” To the compulsive porn user, porn is life. Telling them to stop is like telling them to die.

But when you understand how the brain can change, you can avoid porn and fantasy knowing that real change is possible. Hypofrontality can be cured. Change is built into the very fabric of our brains. Change is exactly what our brains are designed to do. When this person abstains from porn, they think, “Okay, this really stinks for now. I feel terrible. But I will not always feel this way. In fact, I aim to reclaim my brain so I can experience real, lasting pleasure again.”

Here are some helpful tips for avoiding pornography:

• Avoid External Triggers – External triggers are things you experience in the world. It is easy for everyday experiences (TV shows, staying up late, etc.) to become triggers. Learn what your triggers are and for the first several weeks or months, completely avoid them—no exceptions.
• Avoid Internal Triggers – Internal triggers are emotions or states of mind. Porn becomes a release valve to feel better. Identify what your internal triggers are (loneliness, boredom, exhaustion, anger, etc.), and create an escape plan when these emotions pop up. Call a friend. Journal your thoughts. Do something creative.
• Avoid SUDs – “Seemingly Unimportant Decisions.” These are the rationalizations you say to yourself to get you one step closer to porn. “I’m just going to see what’s on TV.” “I’m just going to check my email.” “I’m just going to get on Facebook.” Get honest with yourself and learn what your SUDs are. Be ruthless against these rationalizations.
• Avoid Inactivity – Fill up your social calendar to the brim. Refuse to give yourself an open window. But be cautious to make sure these social interactions don’t lead to triggering environments or situations.
• Destroy Fantasies – As a fantasy or thought enters your mind, picture the image being eliminated. Draw a red “X” over it. Smash it with a hammer. Put it through the shredder. Flush it down the nastiest looking toilet you’ve ever seen.
• Redirection – When you feel the urge, get into the habit of distracting yourself with another activity that you can start immediately. This can be as simple as a breathing exercise or journaling your thoughts. It can be as involved as making a meal or going for a jog. It will be difficult to do, but each time you choose to redirect, your brain will build new neural circuits.
• Talk to Your Ally – Be open about when, where, and how you can be tempted by porn. Talk about the emotions that lead you to porn. Often painful memories can trigger us to look at porn as a way to self-soothe feelings of anger, anxiety, and self-doubt.
• Talking about it with your Ally can rob temptation of its power. Your ally can also help you think differently about your triggers and your temptations and actions you can take to seize mental control.

Talking to your ally brings healing in mind, body, and spirit.

2. Feed: Build Up Your Brain

Much like a muscle, the more you exercise the prefrontal cortex, the stronger it becomes. The goal is to engage in new habits that will increase your dopamine and dopamine receptors.

• Meditation – Making a habit of meditation has been shown to increase dopamine release up to 65%. Memorize some scripture. Sing a hymn. Read a liturgy. Make a habit of it.
• Exercise – Aerobic exercise has been shown to increase dopamine receptors and decrease cravings for those bound in addiction.
• Socializing – Porn-watching is a very anti-social habit. By reforging connections to real people and spending pleasurable time together, you will establish new neural pathways of pleasure.
• Hobbies – Pick something you’ve always wanted to try. Take an online drawing tutorial. Learn an instrument. Find a gourmet recipe and start cooking.

Change Is Gradual, But It Will Come

Whatever rewarding activity is pursued, it needs to be an activity that is reoccurring. Building new rewarding neural pathways requires time and ongoing repetition.

Neurons that fire together wire together. Repeating a pleasurable activity instead of the compulsive activity, such as porn use, forms a new circuit that is gradually reinforced instead of the compulsion.

Neurons that fire apart wire apart. When a person refuses to act on a compulsion, like porn and masturbation, it weakens the link between the activity and the idea that it will provide relief.

The prefrontal cortex is one of the things that makes us unique from other creatures on earth. By reclaiming it we are reclaiming more than our willpower. We are reclaiming our humanity.