John Eldredge in his book Wild at Heart writes: “In the heart of every man is a desperate desire for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.” I first read these words as a college student, thrusting my fist into the air, exclaiming, “Yes! Exactly!” Continuing…
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Why I’ve Never Placed My Wife as Number One
I’ve never placed my wife as number one in our relationship. For the first 20 years of our marriage I had completely selfish reasons for not putting her first. For the last 13 years of our marriage she’s still not number one, but now for the right reason. Before you think I’ve lost…
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That First Click: Jennifer’s Story
Jennifer Green is a born and raised Kansas City girl. She and her husband, Matthew, live there raising their two children. Jennifer works in churches and communities mobilizing volunteers, planning events, and speaking at local events. I can’t remember a time when I hadn’t had pornographic images around me. From…
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Do Rom Coms and TikToks Trigger Porn Use?
Try to name three recent movies that did not have a romance story in the plot. Could you do it? I couldn’t. The media feeds us the lie that we need a man to complete us. During seasons of isolation, watching rom coms do not help with our loneliness and…
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No Condemnation For Porn
Many Christians believe two powerful and contradictory lies. On one hand, they tell themselves that watching porn isn’t that bad—it’s a personal decision that doesn’t affect anyone else. On the other hand, they’re terrified of anyone finding out about their porn use, as though it were the most shameful and…
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Strategies for Singles to Keep the Weekends Porn-Free
Millions of people face a choice every weekend: to look or not to look at porn. Whether you’re a man or a woman, young or old, the option to watch porn presents itself on a myriad of computers, gaming systems, and mobile devices. One commenter on our blog wrote, “I…
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Theology of the Body: On Sex and the Meaning of Life
I thrive when I have something that inspires and drives me. You know, something that puts some pep in your step, wakes you up early in the morning, or even sends you to bed early just to be rested to tackle what you get to do that next day. I met someone who even…
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Porn and the Problem of Impatience
Fast food. High-speed internet. Instant message. Streaming on demand. Same-day shipping. Our culture doesn’t like to wait. And there’s little reason to bother with waiting these days—if your current provider can’t do it now, someone else probably can. Porn is the fast-food variety of sex. It’s right there, a ready-made,…
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I’m finally quitting porn, so why do I feel worse?
Amy’s first exposure to internet pornography was accidental. At just 12 years old, she was at first shocked and disgusted but also felt a thrill—a strange rush accompanied by a sense of shame, which told her she should keep the experience a secret. As the days went by, she found the…
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Beyond “How Are You?”—Sharper Questions to Ask Your Ally
When discussing an addiction or struggle with pornography and masturbation, you will be hard-pressed to find a “solution” that doesn’t include getting an accountability partner. With any addiction, having an external person as a mentor of sorts is essential to full recovery. These accountability partners allow us to not feel…
