Over the past few years, I’ve been in a fortunate position to be able to minister to many men locally and across the United States who struggle with an addiction to pornography. Pornography is a huge issue inside and outside the church. Based on the things I’ve learned in ministry,…
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Breaking the Silence
My life looked perfect. I was admired at Church, respected at work, and loved at home. I was known as dependable, responsible, and faithful. But behind closed doors, I was hiding a secret that had gripped me since I was eleven: hardcore pornography. At first, it started with curiosity after…
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For Men Addicted to Porn: 8 Ways to Rebuild Trust with Your Wife
When a woman discovers her husband has been watching porn behind her back, it can feel absolutely devastating. It is a traumatic discovery in the truest sense of the word—the wife undergoes terrible trauma. These women often begin to doubt themselves, caught in the immense insecurity of feeling the need to compete…
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Porn in High School: 6 Reasons It’s a Serious Problem
Sadly, most high school students will encounter porn before they graduate. While passing around sexy pictures in school is nothing new, the ubiquity of today’s porn—and its intensely graphic nature—is unique. If you pay attention to the news, you may have seen stories of teachers coming under scrutiny for their…
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Do You Have the Emotional Intelligence to Quit Porn?
“Yeah, I would say Kevin is making good progress with his pornography addiction,” Carol told me during a couple’s session when I asked if she thought her husband was on the right path of recovery. “But there’s still something wrong. He doesn’t talk, except to give one-word answers, and I…
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CS Lewis on Lust
What CS Lewis wrote on lust in The Great Divorce
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Tough Love for Your Unrepentant, Porn-Using Husband
“There’s nothing I can do. As a Christian I’m obligated to simply ‘forgive and forget,’ and just move on.” “I can’t set boundaries with him. I’m not his mom!” “I’m completely alone. And I have to deal with it alone, since telling anyone would dishonor my husband.” “Well, this is…
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Single and Struggling with Lust
Recently I received an anonymous email from a single man about his struggles with lust. He asked for prayer regarding his lust, and he made it clear how difficult it was to have a “normal” sex drive and be a single man. He wrote, “Why have a sex drive if…
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The Sex Buffet: How Availability Changes the Way Culture Sees Women
I was at our local grocery store the other day in the checkout aisle when I saw her. I had never seen anything this disturbing in my grocery store before. There she was, right in front of my eyes without a shirt on. I’m not exaggerating here. Thankfully she was wearing…
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10 Gospel-Centered Accountability Principles (or, How a Puritan Might Run an Accountability Group)
How do we slay the power of sin in us? What means has God given us to destroy sinful lusts? Too often we look for the answer to that question on a vertical plane only: we expect sin-killing power to flow through prayer, fasting, Scripture meditation, or some other personal spiritual…
