At first glance, the question, “Can you masturbate without lusting?” might sound like an odd question. Same with the question, “Is masturbation without porn a sin?”
For those who feel no guilt or shame about the matter, the question sounds ridiculous. For those who are utterly opposed to all masturbation, regardless of the internal dynamics that drive it, the question sounds irrelevant.
But for those whom lust is their primary concern when it comes to masturbation, the question is of immense importance.
Is it always sinful to masturbate?
Christians disagree on whether the Bible forbids masturbation or not. Some Christians point to Genesis 38:9-10, where Onan sins by “spilling his seed” (i.e. masturbating), to avoid conceiving a child as God commanded. It’s reasonable to conclude from this that God disproves of masturbation, at least in some circumstances. However, this passage alone does not give enough detail to conclude that masturbation itself is always wrong or why.
Why is masturbation sinful?
Jesus said that the things that come from the heart defile a person (Matthew 15:19). So the more important question is this: what is the heart of the matter when it comes to masturbation? What is it about our hearts when we masturbate that does—or doesn’t—make it wrong?
Many Christians have looked to Matthew 5:28 to answer this question. Jesus says, “I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” In other words, sexual sin begins with attitudes of the heart, not merely our outward actions. If a person can commit adultery in their thoughts without the physical act, then it follows that the real sin of masturbation is something deeper than the physical act.
So is it sinful to masturbate without porn?
The Bible is clear that watching pornography is a sin. But many wonder whether it’s still sinful to masturbate if you don’t use porn. Some still struggle with masturbation long after they leave porn behind. But is it really sinful if you’re not looking lustfully at pornography?
It’s important to remember that Jesus’s teaching about lust goes beyond explicit porn. “Adultery in the heart” could be any kind of sexual impurity. See Sexual Purity: What Scripture Teaches About God’s Plan for Sex. So then, just because you aren’t watching porn doesn’t mean that you aren’t lusting when you masturbate.
What the Bible makes clear about masturbation.
Though we haven’t answered the specific question yet (is masturbation itself sinful), we can already see some clear biblical teaching. Scripture teaches at least some masturbation is wrong. Romans 14:23 adds that anything that isn’t of faith is sin. That means that even if masturbation itself isn’t sinful, it’s sinful to masturbate if you believe it’s wrong and do it anyway.
Furthermore, the Bible teaches that when God saves us from our sin, he transforms and changes our hearts and behaviors—including our sexual habits like masturbation (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). Followers of Jesus should seek to submit themselves to his commands and obey him whatever the cost. That means we should be willing to give up masturbation if we feel convicted.
3 Types of People and How They Masturbate
In his book Sex, Men, and God, Doug Weiss says there are three types of men in the world (and, I assume, this goes for women, too):
1. Men who have never masturbated (Type A) – Weiss believes this group of men is the smallest camp of men in the Western world. After years of speaking at men’s conferences, he’s only met 14 men who claim to have never masturbated. In other cultures, Weiss adds, masturbation simply isn’t a cultural norm and is relatively uncommon.
2. Men who do not fantasize or lust during masturbation (Type B) – This type of person stays “connected” to himself during masturbation—they don’t escape into fantasy. For this person, the act is merely performing a bodily function. As such, there is little emotion attached to the experience, and typically no sense of guilt or shame.
3. Men who lust during masturbation (Type C) – These men are “disconnected” during the act of masturbation; their focus is on a mental image, an actual image, or an object.
Why does it matter if there are different types of masturbation?
In his book, Weiss asks what happens when a Type B masturbator grows up and becomes a pastor, Christian counselor, or Bible teacher. If he universalizes his own experience, this man is likely to think there is nothing wrong with masturbation at all. If Type C men listen to a teacher like this, they either become very confused, or they are encouraged to believe that their lifestyle of fantasy-filled masturbation is okay.
Similarly, if a Type C masturbator becomes a spiritual leader, he will be likely to say that all masturbation is sinful. Type B people are likely to hear this and either get defensive or start feeling a sense of false guilt and shame.
So, is some masturbation OK?
In one sense, because Type B masturbation involves no lust, it would be easy to assume it involves no sin. This is true. But there is another critical question to ask.
What habits are you creating by repeated Type B masturbation? Many feel that the urge to masturbate is out of control. Are you becoming mastered by this habit (see 1 Corinthians 6:12)? If so, you might be reinforcing a false belief that your body is simply your own. Your body is for the Lord (6:13)—and your wife if you are married. “You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (6:19b-20).
More Questions About Masturbation, Lust, and Sin
Can you change how you masturbate?
Weiss says, in his 20+ years of professional experience counseling men around issues of sexual sin, Type C masturbators rarely ever become Type B masturbators. He welcomes men to attempt the change, but warns, “Be careful not to deceive yourself.”
Can you masturbate without sinning if you are married?
Weiss also reminds married men that when they take a vow of marriage, their sexuality becomes intimately tied to another person. He reminds men of the solemn command of 1 Corinthians 7:4, “The husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” Regardless of your motive for masturbation, your wife has authority over your sexuality. “God is the first, your wife is the second and you are the third owner of your penis,” writes Weiss.
For Weiss, the issue of married men masturbating is about honesty. Does your wife know you do it and does she approve? He writes, “If you can’t be honest with your wife about your total sexual expression, then you probably need to evaluate the reason for your ongoing lies to your wife.” If you don’t talk to your wife about it, why? Are you still holding on to the belief that your sexuality is “me-sex” vs. “we-sex”?
What if your wife is the one you fantasize about?
Even if after full disclosure to your wife, she approves of you masturbating, is it wrong to “lust” after images of your wife?
Here Weiss offers some sage advice: Does the woman of your fantasies match the woman you are married to? Do you change aspects of your fantasy wife that don’t match who your real wife is? Does she act sexually different in your fantasies? Does she look different?
If so, you are reinforcing a chemical process in your brain to be turned on by your fantasy wife, and this will only frustrate you when your real wife doesn’t measure up.
I would add to this: Masturbating to fantasies of your wife, while preferable to other images, also trains your body and mind to be more me-centered in your sexuality. Even if your wife approves of your behavior, you should ask whether this activity really helps to move you more towards the image of Christ, who emptied himself and sacrificed all for the love of His bride, the church.
We could talk about exceptions to the norm, of course—prolonged illness or geographical distance between couples. But we also shouldn’t let the conversation about so-called “exceptions” (even if we think they are legitimate) make us overlook the biblical principles that should inform our attitudes.
Ideally, fantasizing about your wife—a good thing—should be something that propels you towards intimacy with her, to where sex can be a consummation of love and self-giving.
What do you think? Can you masturbate without lusting? If so, does it matter?
I’ve been married to my wife for five years and I love her. I’d never cheat on her. But I do have a problem with looking at porn and masturbating. When I was single I didn’t think much of it – it was a way to get some sexual relief and I told myself I’d stop when I was married. Now that I’m married I find those old habits die hard. My wife knows I struggle with this and she’s very supportive. I find I can often go at least a week without giving into temptation but invariably I mess up and instantly feel guilty afterwards. I always ask God for forgiveness but I worry that some day, his grace will end and I’ll really be in trouble.
I’ve read countless Christian articles on this but they always spout the same adages and theme: “Lust is evil, don’t masturbate”. (Yes, I know this) But stopping is not as easy as saying “Okay, Im done with that”.
The problem is I have to work on a PC for my job and I work from home many days (alone).
Praying sometimes helps and I do have some porn blockers on my pc (disallowing me from accessing sites) unfortunately theres nothing that’s very functional for my phone (they have browser blockers but they constrain you by making you use a clunky browser that often crashes and not integrating it into your browser of choice).
Unfortunately the Christian industry has seen fit to only offer up accountability software that you MUST PAY for – which kind of seems hypocritical when you consider that the point is to help other believers not sin.
So, oh great and wise Christian community – how the heck am I supposed to overcome this? Your advice would be appreciated.
Hi Gabe – You mention a few different things here. God’s grace doesn’t have an end. But, our choices can squash the power of His Spirit inside of us. You will not see the great and mighty things the Lord has planned for you without purity. A commitment to “honor your wife above all others” and “only have eyes for her.”
You typed, “But stopping is not as easy as saying, “okay, I’m done with that.” But, maybe there’s something to that. Have you buckled down, taken a weekend away, looked God in the eyes, and said, “OKAY, I’M DONE WITH THAT!” Making a complete, and effective decision about sin (https://www.covenanteyes.com/2016/06/30/stop-looking-at-porn-you-sicko-part-1/). You are in a battle. It’s tough to find a job that doesn’t require working on a PC at some point, but there is plenty of software that can help. If you truly want to stop, then the consequence for the choices you’ve made is putting up with some clunkiness in a browser that can keep you accountable. Your bride is worth it. And, yes it has a price, but most things do. And, not much. Full filtering and accountability for $11/month. Again, your bride is worth it.
It depends on how badly you want to defeat this! But, I think you can do this Gabe.
Peace, Chris
A comment on self ejaculation as it pertains to the physiology of semen fate if not ejaculated ;ejaculation is achieved either by heterosexual intercourse ideally with a loving and loved wife ,nocturnal emissions [wet dreams[or prostatic massage ;otherwise is it correct to assume the semen if not ejaculated is completely reabsorbed in the body or broken down by enzymatic degradation and the anatomy of the male genital system remains intact and its canaliculi patent .Please a medical response
Religion in a nutshell :(
People are just trying to get help
Hi, l am 18 years old and have masterbated since freshman year of high school. l don’t look at porn nor would l want to and l try and not check out women, but here’s where the issue is. l have a foot fetish and am a Type C.l don’t think of women’s private parts, just the feet.(Nothing involving sexual things)l’m not addicted to masturbation, lts just that l don’t to sin or fatasize about feet. I’m trying to become more of a Type B, but l would like some advice about what to do! -Thanks, ZJO.
Hi Zach, like other addictive patterns, there is a trigger, and you’ve associated lustful thoughts with that trigger, which sets you down the path towards masturbation. The great news is that the brain is moldable and we are able to break those neurological patterns and create new ones. Here’s a very helpful post to begin: https://www.covenanteyes.com/2010/05/13/3-biblical-strategies-for-fighting-lust/ New behaviors come from new beliefs, and those new believes are almost always supported by a trusting, God-focused accountability partner. Read, pray and let me know if you need anything else.
Peace, Chris
Hmm, I see that there are many differences about the concept of masturbation as a sin. For catholics, a type C would be considered a sin, a type B would we a case where the person has less guilt because they’re using it as a bad coping mecanism, there are underlying issues like maybe depression, anxiety, etc. certain disorders or emotional challenges at the moment that can make a person fall into that behavior, BUT it’s not considered ok because you’re basically separating the unitive and life giving aspect of sex, which can’t be separated. I struggled when I was younger sporadically until my late twenties and it wasn’t until I understood the true purpose of sex and by the grace of God that I haven’t fallen in almost 3 years, even with extremely painful life events that were what made me seek masturbation as a stress release. Even with the worst moment of my life I haven’t fallen and I think it’s because of those two elements. I think that in order to break free from masturbation you have to educate yourself as much as you can about human sexuality, God’s plan for sexuality and biology. I highly recommend St. John Paul II “Theology of the Body” or books based on it. It’s a wonderful resource to understand human sexuality.
Hey, so I’ve been really struggling with the topic of masturbation for years. I am currently in colleg, and I am the type B sort of person. I’ve never once watched pornography, nor do I have any desire to. When I was young I was determined to avoid it, and I was actually successful, but even without pornography or any fantasy involving another person, I struggled for a long time considering if the activity that I was doing was sinful or not. The most confusing part of the matter was that it was so difficult trying to find someone who didn’t immediately condemn masturbation on account of pornography, which made up the overwhelming majority of people I could turn to. I was told over and over, “Masturbation is sin because it too often leads to lust.” Well, while I know what a girl’s breasts look like thanks to Hollywood, I don’t actually have any sort of images readily available of a fully naked woman, nor do I fantasize about women at all. Now, just to clarify, one of my deepest desires, apart from serving the Lord and loving His church, is that I desperately desire one day to have a wife and children, a family to pour my heart into.
The struggle is this, I’ve gone back and forth on both sides of the issue. In one season of my life, I embraced it believing what I wasn’t sinning at all, while in others I believed it should be avoided at whatever cost. Most recently, I’ve taken a different turn. It was getting difficult to stay on either side of the issue for very long, and I knew if the argument was never, “Is masturbation sin?” but, “Is it honoring to the Lord?” that I might finally find some resolution. Well, I’m still struggling with it, and I’ve been free for 5 weeks now. I know that physically I’m just as fine with it as without, but my question is could I be free to embrace masturbation without lust, or should I stick with my commitment to give it up sacrificially to the Lord, even when it becomes difficult and sometimes very distracting.
Forgive the typos, currently low on sleep. Thanks!
Thanks for your reply. Been waiting for a while for someone to help. Do you have any social media I could follow you on? Maybe we could talk.
Hi Brian – sorry for the slight delay in responding to your post. I understand your struggle. I believe your question, “is it honoring the Lord” is a very good question, and a healthy perspective. Will you still struggle? Absolutely. Phillip Yancey said, “Many Christians have one issue that haunts them and never goes silent.” I heard someone else say, “What you fight, fights you.” Both are proving exceedingly true in my own life as I fight to take back enemy territory that was previously lost to pornography and habitual masturbation. Are you able to enjoy masturbation without lust? I can’t answer that for sure. But, it puts you on a dangerous path. Maybe akin to a recovering alcoholic having an occasional social drink with friends. I wouldn’t judge someone who chose to do that, but I would find it to be risky. I also appreciate the conniving nature of our enemy who might twist that justification to tempt me to go just one step further…until the accumulation of “one steps” lead me back to where I was.
Press on, my friend! Stick to tons of scripture, memorization, conversation with “iron sharpens iron” friends and see if your spirit and will are strengthened.
Peace, Chris
-Covenant Eyes
Thanks Chris! That helps out a lot. I definitely need to pursue the Lord more, just in general. As far as the “iron sharpens iron” kind of friend, I’ve got them in abundance. They’re a huge blessing. Also, Ryan, I’m on facebook, and that’s pretty much it. You can find me by searching my name. My profile picture is the one in the red shirt in the middle of both of my brothers. I don’t know if that helps, but I wouldn’t mind keeping in touch.
I love Doug Weiss so much, but I actually disagree with him for once.
I don’t believe there’s any men out there who don’t lust when they masturbate. Unless that man lived under a rock and has never seen porn or TV, or it’s a child discovering his body for the first time, I do not think it’s possible for a man to masturbate and NOT fantasize.
Fantasy includes everything not real. It doesn’t necessarily mean men think of straight porn, but they could be lusting by fantasizing of love/sexual situations. So if any men profess they don’t lust during masturbation, they are either lying or they don’t understand what lust IS.
It took me a LONG time to realize and analyze what it was I thought about during masturbation, but I finally came to realize that it was always sexual situations, like being saved by a “handsome prince-like” man etc. It wasn’t always straight up “naked sex”, but it WAS fantasy and lust. Therefore it was extremely damaging to my brain.
And even if by some magical way a man can masturbate without lust, its STILL very destructive and damaging to the brain and body because it trains and conditions the body to eventually only respond to “itself”.
Masturbation caused me to have Sexual Dysfunction for most of my life. My body couldn’t orgasm during sex because I trained my body to only respond to me.
It took a very long time to rewire my brain from the damage I caused, and I’m still working on it and creating new neural pathways.
I’m 15 and I masterbated with lust 3 times last year and every time I did I felt terribly guilty. For the next 10 months I stopped doing it. I noticed that when you don’t masterbate you get more wet dreams and that can be very annoying waking up at 3:00 to have to clean yourself up. To cope with not masturbating and I would put on “high alerts” whenever I felt I had to do it and that’s worked pretty well. When I masterbated with lust, I felt like there would be consequences, like my prayers wouldn’t be answered. But I don’t think God operated like that does he? Recently though, I started masterbating again, but with Type B. I make sure Jesus is in my heart and after I’m done I get right back to what ever I was doing before and I try not to dwell on it. A lot of times for me masturbating makes my hormones and stuff calm down and I’m not interesting in lusting with girls at my school, which is good. The lust battle is so complex these days cause all the girls wear yoga pants and everywhere I look there’s temptation, but Gods helped me through that. This past year though, I’ve grown a ton spiritually and don’t want to hinder my relationship with God. And when I’m like “on a roll with God” I don’t want to feel like I’m staring all over again. I don’t masterbate with lust, but sometimes I wonder if what I’m doing is right. Am I doing it to just get my hormones out or for myself?
I don’t think not masterbating works, but then again I would love to not masterbate. The problems I have with masterbating is I don’t like feeling controlled, I kinda zone out for a couple seconds (still no lustful thoughts) when I start to get “the good feeling”. I know what my triggers are and I try and not masterbate when they occur, but then I still feel like my hormone levels are high the next day and do it then so what’s use waiting? I’ve been reading the bible a lot, praying/meditating, but I just need some guidance from someone who is experienced on this issue. Thanks so much.
Hey Ryan, I made a post considerably later than you asking for help on this very issue, so I may not be the best qualified to give an answer. I saw that you’ve gotten no response since you posted 4 months ago, so why not try to give a reply? You may not end up seeing this, but I pray that the Lord will answer you regardless.
Anyways, I walked in the very same shoes as you when I was 13 or 14 years old. I tried my best not to do it, got wet dreams, and was wondering if it wouldn’t just be better to do it myself. The hardest part was I couldn’t stand on one side of the argument for or against masturbation for very long. I tried justifying it for a long time, telling myself that without lust, I wasn’t sinning (I never fell into pornography, nor did I lust for any of the women around me). Well, I felt that I wasn’t sinning, and for a couple years I did it guilt free, until recently. I finally gave it up as a sacrificial offer to the Lord and I struggled with it for a while until I finally felt like I got a response from the Lord.
Now, first I would like to warn you that when anyone says they have a message from the Lord, you need to pray about it and question if it really is from Him. Having said that, I felt like the Lord was telling me that I knew the boundaries I could walk in masturbation without falling into lust, but He challenged me with these instructions. The first was that I was to keep my eyes on the Lord, so as to not let my thoughts wander. The second was to not pursue it for the pleasure alone. The third (and this one is important) was that this is still feeding the flesh, no matter how you justify it, and the Lord calls us to strive to be perfect, as He is perfect (I believe you can find that in Matthew chapter 5), so we are to put the flesh to death and serve the Lord with all our hearts. If you feel like you can masturbate without guilt or breaking you conscience then you have your answer, but I would strongly recommend pursuing the Lord about what you should do about sacrificing the flesh.
Hello Ryan (and Brian) – first, please accept my apologies for no one responding to your post, Ryan. We experienced a period of transition in jobs here at Covenant Eyes, and I fear your request for help was lost in the transition, which should not have happened. Ion the meantime, Brian has offered you some really amazing wisdom on the issue, which I could not improve on. I just responded to his question below, if you would like to read that. I will tell you the same thing – press on! Strive for perfection and embrace the grace that is fresh every morning if we stumble.
Peace, Chris
-Covenant Eyes
so yes or no? is it a sin to masturbate of I am not married and watch no pornography and have no fantasy while doing so
Hi I’ve only started been getting these massive crazy urges to masturdate u see I had my Pituitary glands removed do to a Brian tumor at age 6. I’m 35 now and I have to take Medications that replace the Pituitary gland so my Dr started me on Testosterone shoots and its been making me
Really “H” and the doctor told me that I should masturbate but I’m a Christian please help
Thanks for the question. I’m no doctor, so I won’t pretend to understand the medical side of this. However, keep in mind that hormonal imbalances have been around since the fall of mankind, and God is not ignorant of them. This is exactly what self-control is all about: not denying your urges, but acknowledging them and then training your body not to be a slave to them.