At first glance, the question, “Can you masturbate without lusting?” might sound like an odd question. Same with the question, “Is masturbation without porn a sin?”
For those who feel no guilt or shame about the matter, the question sounds ridiculous. For those who are utterly opposed to all masturbation, regardless of the internal dynamics that drive it, the question sounds irrelevant.
But for those whom lust is their primary concern when it comes to masturbation, the question is of immense importance.
Is it always sinful to masturbate?
Christians disagree on whether the Bible forbids masturbation or not. Some Christians point to Genesis 38:9-10, where Onan sins by “spilling his seed” (i.e. masturbating), to avoid conceiving a child as God commanded. It’s reasonable to conclude from this that God disproves of masturbation, at least in some circumstances. However, this passage alone does not give enough detail to conclude that masturbation itself is always wrong or why.
Why is masturbation sinful?
Jesus said that the things that come from the heart defile a person (Matthew 15:19). So the more important question is this: what is the heart of the matter when it comes to masturbation? What is it about our hearts when we masturbate that does—or doesn’t—make it wrong?
Many Christians have looked to Matthew 5:28 to answer this question. Jesus says, “I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” In other words, sexual sin begins with attitudes of the heart, not merely our outward actions. If a person can commit adultery in their thoughts without the physical act, then it follows that the real sin of masturbation is something deeper than the physical act.
So is it sinful to masturbate without porn?
The Bible is clear that watching pornography is a sin. But many wonder whether it’s still sinful to masturbate if you don’t use porn. Some still struggle with masturbation long after they leave porn behind. But is it really sinful if you’re not looking lustfully at pornography?
It’s important to remember that Jesus’s teaching about lust goes beyond explicit porn. “Adultery in the heart” could be any kind of sexual impurity. See Sexual Purity: What Scripture Teaches About God’s Plan for Sex. So then, just because you aren’t watching porn doesn’t mean that you aren’t lusting when you masturbate.
What the Bible makes clear about masturbation.
Though we haven’t answered the specific question yet (is masturbation itself sinful), we can already see some clear biblical teaching. Scripture teaches at least some masturbation is wrong. Romans 14:23 adds that anything that isn’t of faith is sin. That means that even if masturbation itself isn’t sinful, it’s sinful to masturbate if you believe it’s wrong and do it anyway.
Furthermore, the Bible teaches that when God saves us from our sin, he transforms and changes our hearts and behaviors—including our sexual habits like masturbation (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). Followers of Jesus should seek to submit themselves to his commands and obey him whatever the cost. That means we should be willing to give up masturbation if we feel convicted.
3 Types of People and How They Masturbate
In his book Sex, Men, and God, Doug Weiss says there are three types of men in the world (and, I assume, this goes for women, too):
1. Men who have never masturbated (Type A) – Weiss believes this group of men is the smallest camp of men in the Western world. After years of speaking at men’s conferences, he’s only met 14 men who claim to have never masturbated. In other cultures, Weiss adds, masturbation simply isn’t a cultural norm and is relatively uncommon.
2. Men who do not fantasize or lust during masturbation (Type B) – This type of person stays “connected” to himself during masturbation—they don’t escape into fantasy. For this person, the act is merely performing a bodily function. As such, there is little emotion attached to the experience, and typically no sense of guilt or shame.
3. Men who lust during masturbation (Type C) – These men are “disconnected” during the act of masturbation; their focus is on a mental image, an actual image, or an object.
Why does it matter if there are different types of masturbation?
In his book, Weiss asks what happens when a Type B masturbator grows up and becomes a pastor, Christian counselor, or Bible teacher. If he universalizes his own experience, this man is likely to think there is nothing wrong with masturbation at all. If Type C men listen to a teacher like this, they either become very confused, or they are encouraged to believe that their lifestyle of fantasy-filled masturbation is okay.
Similarly, if a Type C masturbator becomes a spiritual leader, he will be likely to say that all masturbation is sinful. Type B people are likely to hear this and either get defensive or start feeling a sense of false guilt and shame.
So, is some masturbation OK?
In one sense, because Type B masturbation involves no lust, it would be easy to assume it involves no sin. This is true. But there is another critical question to ask.
What habits are you creating by repeated Type B masturbation? Many feel that the urge to masturbate is out of control. Are you becoming mastered by this habit (see 1 Corinthians 6:12)? If so, you might be reinforcing a false belief that your body is simply your own. Your body is for the Lord (6:13)—and your wife if you are married. “You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (6:19b-20).
More Questions About Masturbation, Lust, and Sin
Can you change how you masturbate?
Weiss says, in his 20+ years of professional experience counseling men around issues of sexual sin, Type C masturbators rarely ever become Type B masturbators. He welcomes men to attempt the change, but warns, “Be careful not to deceive yourself.”
Can you masturbate without sinning if you are married?
Weiss also reminds married men that when they take a vow of marriage, their sexuality becomes intimately tied to another person. He reminds men of the solemn command of 1 Corinthians 7:4, “The husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” Regardless of your motive for masturbation, your wife has authority over your sexuality. “God is the first, your wife is the second and you are the third owner of your penis,” writes Weiss.
For Weiss, the issue of married men masturbating is about honesty. Does your wife know you do it and does she approve? He writes, “If you can’t be honest with your wife about your total sexual expression, then you probably need to evaluate the reason for your ongoing lies to your wife.” If you don’t talk to your wife about it, why? Are you still holding on to the belief that your sexuality is “me-sex” vs. “we-sex”?
What if your wife is the one you fantasize about?
Even if after full disclosure to your wife, she approves of you masturbating, is it wrong to “lust” after images of your wife?
Here Weiss offers some sage advice: Does the woman of your fantasies match the woman you are married to? Do you change aspects of your fantasy wife that don’t match who your real wife is? Does she act sexually different in your fantasies? Does she look different?
If so, you are reinforcing a chemical process in your brain to be turned on by your fantasy wife, and this will only frustrate you when your real wife doesn’t measure up.
I would add to this: Masturbating to fantasies of your wife, while preferable to other images, also trains your body and mind to be more me-centered in your sexuality. Even if your wife approves of your behavior, you should ask whether this activity really helps to move you more towards the image of Christ, who emptied himself and sacrificed all for the love of His bride, the church.
We could talk about exceptions to the norm, of course—prolonged illness or geographical distance between couples. But we also shouldn’t let the conversation about so-called “exceptions” (even if we think they are legitimate) make us overlook the biblical principles that should inform our attitudes.
Ideally, fantasizing about your wife—a good thing—should be something that propels you towards intimacy with her, to where sex can be a consummation of love and self-giving.
What do you think? Can you masturbate without lusting? If so, does it matter?
I agree with what one comment said. If you’re single come on whether you’ve been divorced or you’ve never been married or you’re a widower or a widow, how do you handle the sexual frustrations? Just because you’re single doesn’t mean it shuts off. You’re still a sexual being, and you have the same urges as a married person. So how do you deal with being single and having sexual urges ?
I am tired Beyond tired of hearing people say, just pray more, or read the Bible more, or stay busy, when you could read the Bible until your eyes hurt, pray until you have no more voice left, and your exhausted, and then stay busy all day, but when you’re relaxed and in bed, trying to go to sleep, you’re a prime target for lusting. How do you take care of your sexual urges while a single person. And please, by the grace of God, do not say, read the Bible more, pray more, or keep busy. I will literally go ballistic if somebody says that one more stinking time. And forgive me for my frustration, but I have heard this crap so long that I am ready to bust. So somebody, come up with a solid legit answer to this question. Because if you’re going to give the same Sunday school answers, don’t say anything. I am tired of hearing it. I think we say these Sunday school answers just because we don’t know the answer, but we want to sound intelligent and biblical when we when we don’t know Jack. So please, somebody give me a legitimate answer that makes sense.
I am with you Mark, I am divorced and a single parent. I would love a truthful answer how to just stop having sexual urges without going out and really partaking in sin. I have battled this for a long time and would love to know the answer.
Mark, I hear you. I am a single 57 year old guy with natural strong sexual drives who found himself unexpectedly divorced after 23 years of marriage and did everything I could possible to save it. But she still left. Sad story, life goes on. Stuff happens, but grace abounds!
Masterbation within self controlled parameters is a healthy way that keeps me out of trouble and healthy sexually. Thanks to God for making me a man biologically as well as a man of God who seeks his face daily.
The bottom line is…no matter how many people will quote scripture or shame or preach scriptures… I have come to believe there is NOT a simple “One size fits all solution”. I can find spiritual leaders on both sides with very opposing views on masterbation, lust and sexuality. And both will be people of grace and lovers or truth and still vary on each others opinion.
So go with what works with you and your conscience before God. Know that God understands our body best as the Creator and gave us biological desires as part of its wonderful creation. He gave us the ability for both self control as well as expression in moderation.
———
For me personally, I am very open to God about my struggles and weakness as well as my needs and how I search to find them. We live in a fallen world within a screwed up culture (both within our churches and well as outside the church). I also know that sexual norms change from culture to culture as it does generation from generation.
For example, today an older man can’t marry a 13 year old virgin girl without society thinking that man is a child abuser… yet that was common back in the day of Jesus. I am not advocating we bring this practice back BTW… just giving an example of how extreme common societal practices have changed. Poly relationships were accepted in the Old Testament times too. It was also common jewish practice for a man to marry his other brothers wife (in addition to his own wife) in the event the brother died to keep the family name and support for her and her children.
Today, these are NOT accepted norms in our society! In fact, most people would call these practices sexually abusive and illegal. Yet back then, they were the norm? So I find it odd when people like to quote old testament laws or even New testament teaching and apply it today when today, we would see some of those very traditions as illegal, immoral and unholy?
Thats not to say, we disregard the teaching… but that we apply the “spirit of the law” and not so much “the letter of the law”. Which basically means, what is the core message? How do we apply these teachings to our lives as we follow the path of Jesus?
Good luck my brothers and sisters reading this… I would advise you to just chill. Seek Gods grace and wisdom. If others people advice doesn’t sit well within your heart, say thank you and keep seeking. Always be honest before God, who dishes out zero shame but instead, never ending love and grace.
Hello,
I am 62 years old French and we are separated my wife and me for 3 years. I did not consider myself happy with her. In particular I masturbated alone.
I would like to love a woman, make her happy and give myself completely to her including sexually. There is God and there is the Woman. For me alone account my love for God and the Woman. But I do not believe that it is possible to find a Christian woman in France who happily accepts to take charge of the sexuality of her husband.
Thank you for your reply.
Eleonor,
I am not sure what you mean by “take charge of the sexuality of her husband,” but what I do know is that with God, it IS possible to be happily married. God’s design for sex is far different than that of the world, but this does not mean that a Godly marriage will be perfect. I would encourage you to not lose hope, and cling to God for healing.
Blessings,
Moriah
I am a 29 year old woman with a high sexual appetite and I masturbate as a type B always. I keep praying that God will help me to find the man that will be my future husband buy until then how can it be wrong to masturbate without fantasy or lust for another? I just focus on how it feels period. I don’t feel guilty anymore afterwards cause I believe by doing it I am figuring out what I like and do not like physically that I can convey to a husband in the future if I ever find a good Christian man who loves me for me and doesn’t abuse me or just use me for my beauty till he gets bored of me then leaves. I have never been married though it’s always been my dream yet I still haven’t found the right one.
Hey there, thank you for sharing this healthy view of masturbation with us. I don’t see anything in scripture that condemns masturbation. I don’t see anything in scripture that condemns a woman understanding her own sexual desire and being responsible for herself in that way. In fact, I think that when Genesis calls the creation of humanity “very good,” that includes our sexuality, and the pleasure that women find in their own bodies. The shame and condemnation that purity culture places around sexuality, and especially around the sexual pleasure of women, is simply the result of a religious system that desires to have power and control over women, rather than seeing women as equals in every way, created in the image of God. Thank you for speaking up.
To be honest, I think that you can have a very difficult time trying to masturbate without lusting if you spent A lot of your life masturbating because you’ve lusted. You’ve trained your brain to react to lust, and it’s extremely difficult to change that. I’m not saying you can’t, I’m just saying it’s extremely difficult.
I do believe that you can masturbate over your wife, as long as you’re not changing her image or adding things to her that she would not approve of. Like, if she does not do anal sex, because she doesn’t enjoy the pain of it, then to think about your wife doing anal with you would be wrong, because you’re changing the image of her sexuality.
But I have no problem with a husband masturbating over his wife or a wife masturbating over her husband, as long as they don’t change who they are in their fantasies.
I have read and heard about people leaving nude pictures of themselves in their spouses luggage if they’re going away for a few days, and they pull out the picture and masturbate to it. Or they do Skype and do video sex or whatever. I don’t think it’s wrong as long as you’re not changing who they are and they’re true form. I hope that made sense.
First I would like to say Wow. There are some really good point of views on this thread. Most of you make sense in a different way. Just to briefly talk about myself for sec, I was very bad type C. I found Jesus and my life has changed. 36 M not married. I have gone a month or so without any release. Then every now and then I will give in to type B. I look at the wall or an object like a lamp etc… and fight not to think of a female at all. When I’m done I feel bad. I pray to the Lord to help me.
I think it’s clear that we are all lost in some ways. I know I am. Why am I weak? Why do I struggle with little flashes of non belief. I ask Him to help me with my flashes of non belief. For me the female is the most powerful thing. I can feel it deep down within me. Some times stronger than others but a females body and the desire I feel sometimes is overwhelming. I hate it and wish it was not that way. But the truth is the desire is strong. I wish that when a beautiful female walked by with short shorts on and a nice body I had no desire to look. I wish I didn’t feel anything. But I would be lying if I claimed that. It’s something that is almost over powering. I have come a long way from the things I used to do in my past. So far I’m an occasional type B. From a bad type C. I ask for your prayers that my walk with Jesus will get better and stronger. I’m truly afraid to face God and I know it’s coming. I ask Jesus to cover me in His blood. Please pray for me. God bless you all.
To some of us, going a month is doing extremely well. And the Lord doesn’t expect perfection, he just expects progress and effort. I have gone probably around 3 and 1/2 4 months without masturbating. And I am finding it extremely difficult at times to keep up that discipline. It’s very hard When I have condition my brain to lust over a very long time of being addicted to porn unless. And I would totally been around 4 months since I last masturbated, it’s been somewhere around, 7 months since I watched any pornography. So I consider myself blessed to go this long, because that hasn’t happened too many times. But I continue to fight the fight and do my best.
On the topic of being a man who went from Type C to Type B in my masturbation habit (here is a little background information first, and then where I am at with masturbation currently).
For myself, I am a Christian man who struggles with same-sex attraction. In my devotion to God I want to be celibate and honor Him with my choice to be single, unless He gives me a desire for women that surpasses or equals my attraction for men. Since sexual attraction is not completely based on the physical, it seems impossible to change my desires unless God changes that on His own doing. When I was eighteen, and not a believer at the time, I tried to condition myself to become sexually attracted to women through pornography and masturbation. The only thing I ended up with was a distorted sexual tendency to be slightly attracted to women with only a typical porn star body figure. Only to realize that emotional attraction is the stronger force within my sexual frustration as it comes to attraction. It did not minimize my overwhelming attraction to men at all. I do not advise anyone trying to condition oneself that way or for any purpose.
Anyways, the topic of masturbation without lusting (Type B), is an interesting concept that I have been contemplating throughout my Christian journey in the past few years. I went from being Type C, to Type B, but there are still some issues that are worth mentioning. I first have to say that men who are Type C, who want to be Type B (in my opinion and experience), may have a difficult time transferring over if they masturbate several times a week or more. When the muscles in your penis are overused for that day or week, that is when fantasy becomes the motivation for a climax (in my experience). I cannot speak for everyone, but if you are trying to switch over to being Type B in your masturbation habit, you may have to relax how much you engage in masturbation in order for your sex organ to recharge and be ready to go without fantasizing. So, if you believe fantasy is lust (which Biblically makes sense), you should try letting more time to pass in between masturbating so that you aren’t tempted to climax more quickly by pulling up the slideshow or video footage in your mind. Fantasy is our imagination creating pornography. Why is looking at pornography online or in a magazine different then what we can create in our own minds? That’s the thing, it’s not different, it’s just a different source. Now, masturbating to a fantasy of your husband or wife is a slightly different topic, but that is also complicated for other reasons. Not only is lust a concern in masturbation, but the idolatry of pleasuring oneself is something to contemplate as well and work out with the Lord.
I will say for me, I believe masturbation Type B may not be as healthy as we may think it is all the time. The reason I say this is because it is difficult to remain Type B especially with a Type C background, because fantasy is always a looming temptation. Not only that, but masturbation sometimes frustrates me because it reminds me of my physical loneliness, and that I will not be experiencing sexual gratification with another human anytime soon or ever, if God chooses not to change my sexual desires. Obviously my case is a little different than other men who are sexually attracted to women, but the point still remains that masturbation in general is an interesting contemplation/struggle for a Christian person. If we become frustrated with anything in life, including masturbation, that can drive us toward other forms of pleasure and even destructive patterns or addictions as well. There is so much to think about on this issue, and for me, I am currently trying to stop masturbating all together, just for the peace of mind and to rid myself of any form of idolatry that could be involved in the habit. I do my best to not beat myself up if I do end up engaging in Type B masturbation, and I would advise the same for others. Even falling into Type C as well, there is restoration in Christ no matter what we struggle with, and you can work through it with Him. He will walk with you where you’re at because He loves you. And remember to pray about it and discuss it with others. Proverbs 18:1 “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.”
And for anyone who believes in Jesus being the only way for our salvation, please pray for me. Thank you! I need it like there’s no tomorrow! :)
Thank you for your honesty, Ray M. I am an abstinent woman who has recently been tempted to masturbate after over 3 years of celibacy. I also used pornography before I was saved and on this walk with Jesus. My porn of choice was homosexual and transgender men. In my most recent weakness, I gave in and now have a very hard time not creating this porn in my mind even though im not masturbating. It is very hard to die to self. And so I’m now considering relieving myself without fantasy or lust but wanted to make sure it’s not a sin. I haven’t yet but not sure how much longer I can go while I research.
If it helps, one thing I remind myself that may help you as well is Galatians 5:17 “For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.” It helps me to remember to call out to let the Holy Spirit lead. Praying I dont grieve Him in this.
Praying for you too.
Master bating is a sin, I went through these articles looking for an answer and I found it it is a sin. I was class B and I thought it would be ok to do it once but I lost self control and was selfish and I feel horrible and am overcoming me with shame Dear Lord please have mercy on me and forgive me I will masterbate no more dear Lord I will seek you only when temptations arise, I will rebuke the enemy and ask you to help me dear Lord I love you please forgive me for committing such an horrible wicked evil act and I did it willingly. Have mercy on me Jesus you showed me it was wrong once but then I did it again willingly I ask for forgiveness and that everyone reading this does the same and I repent dear Lord, please renew my mind Jesus make it as your mind I am nothing and deserve to perish for what I did I turned my back to you I am worthless and was from the beginning but have provoked you to anger dear Lord I love you and I will do what you ask of me, I am weak I denied not myself this day and failed to live according to you Jesus so I make a commitment from hence forth that I will no longer masterbate and I will take up my cross and die daily for you bought me with a price and I am not my own please forgive me dear Lord I am nothing please let me serve you Jesus I love you. Please don’t fall into the trap of the devil people it is a sin and I failed but failed to warn you that it is a sin don’t do it whoever is reading. I was reading as well to fulfil my selfish desires forgive me Lord for I am yours and not my own please clean me and make me your servant I will serve you forever and ever amen.
Thank you Joshua for your clarity. Your words touched me. God bless you.
The ONLY valid form of healthy masturbation is in the physical presence and with your partner (preferably your spouse). All other forms WILL lead to undesirable consequences. Make no mistake, the chemistry in the brain doesn’t lie, and neither do the brain scans. If you find that you are unable to stop, you have already affected the wiring in your brain. This is a physical and chemical phenomenon and it is a proven science. That’s the bad news. The good news is that you can re-wire your brain, but like the fat person on a diet, they didn’t put the weight on overnight. Don’t expect to change it overnight. It took you years to wire your brain this way. it’s going to take years to re-wire it. There is a 90-day milestone, a 180-day milestone, and it becomes relatively permanent after a few years (recovery is an exponential, not linear, process). It (the sex addiction, and yes, it IS an addiction) will always be there, but it becomes so buried, so dormant, that it takes some effort with particular triggers to go back there and recall it to act on it. If you do recover, like the alcoholic or drug addict cannot even sample it, you can’t either.
Now, to address the spiritual side of things. Yes, you could probably argue successfully that so long as the act is physical and physical alone, you haven’t committed a sin. However, considering all of the other damage you are doing to your body (physical damage to your genitals, possibly your anus, prostate, etc.), your sensitivity (i.e. erectile dysfunction, and I wouldn’t summarily dismiss it and the need for harder faster means of arousal and orgasm), your brain (physiologically and chemically), your spouse (if married), etc., I would argue, YES, you are committing a sin. Your order of priority should be God first, Spouse second, Immediate Family third, Remaining Family and Friends forth, Colleagues and Acquaintances fifth, and finally everyone else. Your body is your temple. Ask God to help you take care of your temple. Masturbating, in and of itself, doesn’t make you a sinful person. It makes you a normal person like so many around you even if they don’t admit they do it. And last time I checked, there wasn’t one without sin but a couple thousand years ago. I don’t even know you, and I love you anyway.
This is interesting!
42-year-old lifelong Type C masturbator here, sometimes with porn, sometimes with just mental imagery. A few days ago, I got some strong “signals” to concentrate on developing chastity; as part of this, I decided to cut out masturbation as much as possible. Well, after just two days, the craving was very strong, so I mulled it over, and decided that if lust was the problem, maybe I could just concentrate on the sensations, knock it out without mental imagery, and get back to what I was doing without being further distracted.
So I tried it, and though it was quite a bit more difficult, it worked. If an image tried to encroach – including non-individualized images – I just pushed it out and brought my focus back to the sensations. So it was a true Type B experience (I didn’t have that term at the time), and as you say, I didn’t feel much, if any, guilt or shame afterward. It just felt like taking care of another bodily function.
But here’s the thing – it’s two days later, and I’m feeling the urge again. I would definitely go Type B, but the idea of pleasure and ejaculation alone is enticing in the same way that overeating is enticing – a bodily function indulged to excess. So I think that even if you peel back the “lust” layer, there’s a “gluttony” layer beneath…
That said, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with enjoying your food when it’s proper to eat, and I think it may be “proper” to masturbate when you really need to in order to continue undistracted, and it’s okay to enjoy it during those times. However, like eating, it tends to creep, the pleasure tends to drive the process. So… there’s where you practice temperance. :-)
As a life-long Christianity teen, I have been masturbating since I was very small. When I turned 10, I started to realize it wasn’t great and my mom tried to help. I have been trying really hard to stop. It doesn’t seem to be working though. I think that I am the type C because I don’t even think when I do it. It just helps me sleep… I guess it’s like a baby blanket, toddlers just can’t sleep without it. I’m not into boys or anything (just yet) and I hate the thought of porn. I just get an itch (that sounds so weird). My Bible study talked briefly about it but it didn’t cover all of my concerns. I have been going to God for help but I’m taking suggestions from others too. Thank you so much,
Emma
Hi, Emma – it sounds like you truly don’t like the habit. Even Type B masturbation causes us, as Christians, to ask important questions, like “is masturbation leading me toward the type of sexual purity and behavior I desire in marriage?” or “is it possible that with just a touch of justification, my masturbation habit could lead to pornography?” or “Can I imagine the Holy Spirit of God being nothing but pleased with habitual masturbation in my life?”
This will sound really strange from one believer to another, but “going to God for help” might not be the right approach. We were made with the ability to choose. If you haven’t choosen to stop then God can’t help you. I know that sounds funny. Yes, He is sovereign, but there’s an explosion of Holy Spirit energy that only gets ignited when people heartfully determine a direction and drive with all their might in that direction. I read from Oswald Chambers, “a clear and effective decision about sin.” That stuck with me.
Of course, I hope the best for you, Emma, especially as a young lady who has an amazing future ahead of her. God is for you! Please read Romans 8 if you need to be reminded of that :)
Best, Chris