At first glance, the question, “Can you masturbate without lusting?” might sound like an odd question. Same with the question, “Is masturbation without porn a sin?”
For those who feel no guilt or shame about the matter, the question sounds ridiculous. For those who are utterly opposed to all masturbation, regardless of the internal dynamics that drive it, the question sounds irrelevant.
But for those whom lust is their primary concern when it comes to masturbation, the question is of immense importance.
Is it always sinful to masturbate?
Christians disagree on whether the Bible forbids masturbation or not. Some Christians point to Genesis 38:9-10, where Onan sins by “spilling his seed” (i.e. masturbating), to avoid conceiving a child as God commanded. It’s reasonable to conclude from this that God disproves of masturbation, at least in some circumstances. However, this passage alone does not give enough detail to conclude that masturbation itself is always wrong or why.
Why is masturbation sinful?
Jesus said that the things that come from the heart defile a person (Matthew 15:19). So the more important question is this: what is the heart of the matter when it comes to masturbation? What is it about our hearts when we masturbate that does—or doesn’t—make it wrong?
Many Christians have looked to Matthew 5:28 to answer this question. Jesus says, “I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” In other words, sexual sin begins with attitudes of the heart, not merely our outward actions. If a person can commit adultery in their thoughts without the physical act, then it follows that the real sin of masturbation is something deeper than the physical act.
So is it sinful to masturbate without porn?
The Bible is clear that watching pornography is a sin. But many wonder whether it’s still sinful to masturbate if you don’t use porn. Some still struggle with masturbation long after they leave porn behind. But is it really sinful if you’re not looking lustfully at pornography?
It’s important to remember that Jesus’s teaching about lust goes beyond explicit porn. “Adultery in the heart” could be any kind of sexual impurity. See Sexual Purity: What Scripture Teaches About God’s Plan for Sex. So then, just because you aren’t watching porn doesn’t mean that you aren’t lusting when you masturbate.
What the Bible makes clear about masturbation.
Though we haven’t answered the specific question yet (is masturbation itself sinful), we can already see some clear biblical teaching. Scripture teaches at least some masturbation is wrong. Romans 14:23 adds that anything that isn’t of faith is sin. That means that even if masturbation itself isn’t sinful, it’s sinful to masturbate if you believe it’s wrong and do it anyway.
Furthermore, the Bible teaches that when God saves us from our sin, he transforms and changes our hearts and behaviors—including our sexual habits like masturbation (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). Followers of Jesus should seek to submit themselves to his commands and obey him whatever the cost. That means we should be willing to give up masturbation if we feel convicted.
3 Types of People and How They Masturbate
In his book Sex, Men, and God, Doug Weiss says there are three types of men in the world (and, I assume, this goes for women, too):
1. Men who have never masturbated (Type A) – Weiss believes this group of men is the smallest camp of men in the Western world. After years of speaking at men’s conferences, he’s only met 14 men who claim to have never masturbated. In other cultures, Weiss adds, masturbation simply isn’t a cultural norm and is relatively uncommon.
2. Men who do not fantasize or lust during masturbation (Type B) – This type of person stays “connected” to himself during masturbation—they don’t escape into fantasy. For this person, the act is merely performing a bodily function. As such, there is little emotion attached to the experience, and typically no sense of guilt or shame.
3. Men who lust during masturbation (Type C) – These men are “disconnected” during the act of masturbation; their focus is on a mental image, an actual image, or an object.
Why does it matter if there are different types of masturbation?
In his book, Weiss asks what happens when a Type B masturbator grows up and becomes a pastor, Christian counselor, or Bible teacher. If he universalizes his own experience, this man is likely to think there is nothing wrong with masturbation at all. If Type C men listen to a teacher like this, they either become very confused, or they are encouraged to believe that their lifestyle of fantasy-filled masturbation is okay.
Similarly, if a Type C masturbator becomes a spiritual leader, he will be likely to say that all masturbation is sinful. Type B people are likely to hear this and either get defensive or start feeling a sense of false guilt and shame.
So, is some masturbation OK?
In one sense, because Type B masturbation involves no lust, it would be easy to assume it involves no sin. This is true. But there is another critical question to ask.
What habits are you creating by repeated Type B masturbation? Many feel that the urge to masturbate is out of control. Are you becoming mastered by this habit (see 1 Corinthians 6:12)? If so, you might be reinforcing a false belief that your body is simply your own. Your body is for the Lord (6:13)—and your wife if you are married. “You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (6:19b-20).
More Questions About Masturbation, Lust, and Sin
Can you change how you masturbate?
Weiss says, in his 20+ years of professional experience counseling men around issues of sexual sin, Type C masturbators rarely ever become Type B masturbators. He welcomes men to attempt the change, but warns, “Be careful not to deceive yourself.”
Can you masturbate without sinning if you are married?
Weiss also reminds married men that when they take a vow of marriage, their sexuality becomes intimately tied to another person. He reminds men of the solemn command of 1 Corinthians 7:4, “The husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” Regardless of your motive for masturbation, your wife has authority over your sexuality. “God is the first, your wife is the second and you are the third owner of your penis,” writes Weiss.
For Weiss, the issue of married men masturbating is about honesty. Does your wife know you do it and does she approve? He writes, “If you can’t be honest with your wife about your total sexual expression, then you probably need to evaluate the reason for your ongoing lies to your wife.” If you don’t talk to your wife about it, why? Are you still holding on to the belief that your sexuality is “me-sex” vs. “we-sex”?
What if your wife is the one you fantasize about?
Even if after full disclosure to your wife, she approves of you masturbating, is it wrong to “lust” after images of your wife?
Here Weiss offers some sage advice: Does the woman of your fantasies match the woman you are married to? Do you change aspects of your fantasy wife that don’t match who your real wife is? Does she act sexually different in your fantasies? Does she look different?
If so, you are reinforcing a chemical process in your brain to be turned on by your fantasy wife, and this will only frustrate you when your real wife doesn’t measure up.
I would add to this: Masturbating to fantasies of your wife, while preferable to other images, also trains your body and mind to be more me-centered in your sexuality. Even if your wife approves of your behavior, you should ask whether this activity really helps to move you more towards the image of Christ, who emptied himself and sacrificed all for the love of His bride, the church.
We could talk about exceptions to the norm, of course—prolonged illness or geographical distance between couples. But we also shouldn’t let the conversation about so-called “exceptions” (even if we think they are legitimate) make us overlook the biblical principles that should inform our attitudes.
Ideally, fantasizing about your wife—a good thing—should be something that propels you towards intimacy with her, to where sex can be a consummation of love and self-giving.
What do you think? Can you masturbate without lusting? If so, does it matter?
Is it commiting adultery in your heart to fantasize about characters who aren’t real or you made up and use them to masturbate
I would certainly argue that it is lust. Perhaps this video addresses the issue.
Hi, I have been masturbaiting for about 4 years now and I am 15 years old, the first year of masturbation was about my physical needs, and the urge to do it. But it then turned into a type C case because I craved better feelings. Recently I went on a retreat and I confessed for the very first time about these actions, and I feel a bunch better. But that didn’t help the urges, so I searched online if masturbation in it self is a sin. What I found was that masturbation in it self isn’t a sin, but it opens the door for porn, sexual fantasy, and lust. I am not married, and I try to hold off the urge as long as I can. When I was doing my research, I also found that your Semen will gather up and your need for sex or masturbation increases. I just want to reconfirm that what I found was true and that if I don’t lust or commit a sin that masturbation is ok? Right? If not please help me, I am very confused and need a lot of help!
Here’s what we do know biologically: the body will produce sperm and this build-up does cause a need for release. There are two ways this release happens: (1) a “drip method” where a little semen is released into the ejaculatory duct, moves to the urethra, and then gets flushed out through urination, and (2) ejaculation. Ejaculation can happen in a couple fashions: (1) manual stimulation through masturbation or intercourse, or (2) nocturnal emission. Additionally, semen build-up is also controlled by a supply-and-demand system. The more you stimulate yourself (or the more sex you have), the more semen your body creates.
So, does a man “need” to masturbate? No. There are other natural systems the body uses to release semen. Furthermore, masturbation only feeds the supply and demand chain: the more you masturbate to “release the tension,” the more you train your body to create the tension.
That said, you are correct that masturbation is nowhere mentioned in the Bible as a sinful act, that what is sinful are the motives often behind masturbation. Furthermore, masturbation, even if not sinful, can be unwise because of the creation of habits that are not helpful for stewarding your sexuality well in marriage.
In the end, I really believe is it wise not to masturbate, and it is sinful to masturbate if it is intrinsically tied to lust or porn use. You need to set your mind on your goal: what kind of man do you want to become in life? Deep down, you want to be the kind of man who is master of his passions, not mastered by them.
Hello there, I am 20 I mastrabate but I can truly say without any bad thoughts or imagination. ..just enjoying the act. ..but afterwards I feel so guilty. ..Please help me with answer
First of all, you might want to get involved with a group of other people who have their own struggles. I find that support groups are so very helpful when we’re trying to make changes. xxxChurch has online groups, and then there are in-person groups like Celebrate Recovery.
Second, you might want to look into the behavioral side of the issue with a resource like Candeo.
Third, remember that God created you. He knows you and your sex drive; he made you with one on purpose. He loves you, always.
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For many years my wife and I have been without sexual intercourse. That is not a problem for either of us (as it is just one way of showing love) but I do enjoy the feelings associated with an erection. Pornography has a bad reputation though some aspects of it can be stimulating without being evil. It is possible to use literature or videos without and sense of lust (I have no desire to change my wife) and have been helpful in times of sexual frustration. However, there is still a sense of guilt that may be the result of a traditional upbringing.
So sorry to hear you’ve been cut off from having sex with your wife. Is the problem medically related or a choice you’ve made?
I think most men enjoy the feeling associated with an erection because we are designed by God to enjoy it, but I would say where pornography has bad reputation, it deserves to have that reputation. Porn is, by its very nature, exploitative.
I’m not sure exactly what you mean by using literature or videos without lusting, combined with the comment about not wanting to change your wife. How do these thoughts relate in your mind?
Hi, i have a friend who is a girl. she says she masterbates to relieve stress. She says she does not think lustful thoughts while doing it, she just focuses on doing it. she says she enjoys doing it and she hinted that she might not be able to stop if she wanted to, she is not married she is just a teenager. I am wondering what are some biblical verses that address this and how you think i should present the points to her,
In a previous article, I talk some about the questions we have to ask ourselves about our masturbation habits. I suggest you read that.
I think we do ourselves and our friends a disservice when we have only one way to categorize our behavior: moral vs. immoral (right vs. wrong). The Bible gives us more than this, however. Our behaviors can also fit into the category of wise vs. unwise.
Paul brings this point out in his first letter to the Corinthians: “’All things are lawful for me,’ but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful for me,’ but I will not be dominated by anything” (1 Corinthians 6:12). Paul is saying there are things that can be considered “lawful” (i.e. not immoral), but still unhelpful or even potentially enslaving.
We might put the drinking of alcohol, for instance, into the wise/unwise category. The Bible clearly says drunkenness is immoral (Deuteronomy 21:20; Proverbs 23:29-35; Isaiah 5:11-12,22; Hosea 4:10-11; Amos 6:4-7; 1 Peter 4:1-5), but wine and other fermented drinks are also repeatedly called divine blessings, meant to be enjoyed (Deuteronomy 7:13; 14:26; Psalm 104:14-15; Isaiah 24:6; Hosea 9:2; Joel 1:10; Amos 5:11; Luke 7:33-34; John 2:6-11; 1 Timothy 5:23). And in cases where drunkenness is not a problem, wisdom steps in and asks, “Drinking is lawful for me, but in what cases is it unhelpful or in what cases does it bring me under its power?”
When we ask if we are “under the power” of masturbation, we need to ask a couple questions: (1) Am I developing an enslaving habit? and (2) Am I developing an enslaving mindset about my sexuality? The first question relates more to the compulsive need one might feel to masturbate. The second question relates our attitude about sexuality: is it something meant for my personal pleasure or something meant to draw me close to another human being?
I have been searching the internet, mind, heart and soul over the “rules” of engagement here. My fiance and I will be getting married soon, not soon enough for my prostate. It hurts worse everyday. I was, or still may be avoiding, being a type C. My fiance knew it and also is a type C. The only time I care when she does do the type C is when I get no Type of anything and yet she is type Cing herself. I honestly didn’t care prior to this and may not now considering being born again. I am the one between us who said NO unless it was for Love (which still hasn’t happened yet. I want to make love, have sex and all the above with her. I have controlled myself from doing so until our marriage, from born again, about 3-4 months prior to now.
I was masterbating regularly and would have continued if I wasn’t scared to. I have had on a few occasions. a supernatural breech of enjoyment. One being the chair I was sitting in was kicked or hit hard while doing so. No one had been near me for a good length, meaning all by myself for sure. Another time being a sharp pain in my side being well into the act. The pain came from an outside source, feeling it stab through skin to desired painful location. Again, no one was around in any human form. So needless to say I am terrified to masterbate anymore.
Here I am looking it up now on the procedure to do it now without sin. If thats even possible. I would like to take what is being said here and the debate as means to go for it. That if one conclusion cannot be made on this, I am innocent for trying it again. If no one knows, how am I supposed to know right? Well, I can’t say what is but I can further confuse any reader and myself. I am having painful prostate problems I will be medically looking into very soon. My belly is hard as a rock and swollen. I feel bloated and pain that is growing in strength everyday. When researching this, I found that in many cases of what I could have relied on ejaculation as one diagnostic tool. Heres the thing, I am hard headed and it may have taken an act of God to stop me from type Cing myself. Two, I believe in that all good is from the Trinity, as all bad is from demons and devils etc. This includes health issues and including mental ones. So may have this been an act of the Holy Spirit then I will stop. If it is the other side, doing it to cause problems down there as it is, they could be fooling me. Fooling me into thinking its God’s will I discontinue the act of masterbation. Though it is true I did it way more than needed. I have been doing fine for months without it and began to see the world in the light. Some days harder than others but for the most part pretty easy. Easy because I am scared to, maybe. I went for it one more time after the last encounter and in mid stroke, decided to resist. I had no real purpose at that point.
Now I do have a purpose and admit to wanting to lust in the act. Otherwise to treat it as a “bodily function” I will focus more on the pain. I think, maybe if I do it fast to get the action of out of the way, it’ll be better than making it last for self pleasure. My head goes on and on but the pain is real. To be honest, I have no real want to right now. I haven’t for quite a while now and have been great. I just know what it has been to me and am afraid of one thing. Me doing it again may be such a “middle finger” to God, I would be judged then. Maybe he would turn his back on me. This is due to the last experiences being interveined by what I have mentioned above. Is it him telling me to stop before its too late?
My fantasies were worsening for my pleasure would numb. Staying in one field of pleasure would not satisfy me. This I understood is bad and the thoughts and fantasies in my head, as well as pornography, were and r bad. Another factor is I, for the most part, do not even like a penis in my fantasies. Not mine, not even in the movies I have watched. Purely lesbian and I having nothing to do with it. Its been that way for most of the time I can remember. Now, if that stems from an inner problem so be it. I have yet to be distant or w/e from my fiance when we had a healthy sexual relationship. We knew our type C time was singular time and us time was just that. I bring you to my final thought. If our focus is on God, should we not wait for his understanding on this? Should I not endure the pain and seek medical attention in the mean time? Will I have a better understanding of why I am suffering that will deepen my relationship with God? I DO BELIEVE SO! BUUUUT! Will they ask me to ejaculate into a cup at this appointment? The answer is more than likely YES! Really this is going to be hard to do. I cannot self pleasure without Type Cing otherwise its my penis I am dealing with. Again, not a big fan of it or anyone else’s. So I am in a bind, one that only the Trinity can untie. So, if all goes to plan, I will wait for either way I am in his grace.
I’ve been a Christian for 12 years, I am a true Christian who does have a heart of seeking truth. However I’ve been in bondage of masterbation and ponorgraphy for 13 years. I never shared this with anyone. I masterbatwd everyone single day throughout da 13 years, at least once a day, unless I had sex with my wife. Praise God, I finally gave it up three months ago. Since early November last year I’ve never entered a porn site or masterbated again. However my wife hasn’t had sex with me since May last year. I read on internet that it might not be healthy. My wife said, she’d never have sex with me unless I lose some weight. Is this healthy? Or is it alright if I be a Type B once every three or four months?
Is it healthy for your wife to refuse sex? Yes. I wish more people would understand how harmful this is to a marriage—if not the sexless state, the attitude of repugnance.
It is best to Type B masturbate to alleviate sexual tension? I think my article covers some of the questions you need to ask yourself. I would also recommend you read this article and ask yourself if it applies to you.
Saved One,
Your wife is being unfair. You have needs, especially now since you no longer masturbate to pornography
Seek marriage counseling , and in the meantime, go ahead and satisfy your own need. Remember, NO porn or adulterous fantasies.
Hey Cheryl. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot of pain for a long time.
I wonder if you’re getting support for yourself in all this? Griefshare is a program that lots of churches offer for free or a very minimal cost. And I also like the American Association of Christian Counselors directory, which has counselors of all kinds in many places throughout the US.
I think you’re describing what a lot of us have experienced, and what research is now showing: people who are addicted to porn tend to become very self-focused and entitled. They have a hard time paying attention to anything other than the addiction after a while. A lot of times it’s because of pain in the addict’s life that he or she turns to porn so increasingly, but whatever the reason, it’s really sad and maddening to live with. And ultimately, the addict has to be responsible for him or her self in recovery.
In regards to boundaries: boundaries are not so much about the other person’s behavior, but more about our own choices. It’s answering questions like this: what is healthy, right, ethical, and desirable for me to have in my life? When someone (e.g., husband) brings something into the marriage that I don’t want (is over my boundaries) WHAT WILL I CHOOSE TO DO? I think there’s been a malicious but popular fiction in Christian circles that if we are just nice enough, pretty enough, quiet enough, cheerful enough, loving enough, whatever enough–THEN our husbands and our children will all make good choices and be nice and cheerful and loving to us in return. Unfortunately, it’s completely false and nothing will prove it false quicker than a sexual addiction. There’s nothing we can do to MAKE another person do what we want, even when what we want is right and good! Our only control is over ourselves and our choices–that’s the bottom line with boundaries.
Sometimes people will tell me, “I gave him a boundary about that”–and often that’s more of a threat than a boundary!
For the best exploration of this topic, check into Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.
You might also appreciate our free download, Hope After Porn, where several women talk about the choices and boundaries that were a part of their own recovery. Some of those women chose separation as part of the recovery process.
Have a look at those things and let me know what you think! Kay
And I’m finding 1 Corinthians 10:13 difficult to believe, though I believe every word in the Bible is true.