Defeat Lust & Pornography Two women having a Bible study.
Defeat Lust & Pornography 8 minute read

Women and Masturbation: Talking About It Openly

Last Updated: October 17, 2023

Lust is not a guy problem–it’s a human problem. If you’re a woman who has struggled with any sort of lustful sin habit, including masturbation, you’re not alone. Millions of Christian women (single and married) are facing similar temptations every day. We, as women, are not immune to lustful sins any more than men are.

I am going to be very open and transparent in this post because I want you to know that Christ has the power to help us overcome our sin and to find lasting victory. Then we’ll dig into what the Bible has to say about masturbation and why I believe masturbation is a sin.

My Own Sin-Struggle With Masturbation

Jump back in time with me.

As a single girl in my mid-teens, I remember crying out to God one night in desperation. My desire for sexual intimacy was so strong that I felt like I couldn’t bear it anymore! I honestly wasn’t sure how I would survive until marriage with such strong sexual desires. “How is this a gift?!” I questioned God through my tears.

I knew how much God valued purity and holiness, but it seemed impossible to stay consistent for any length of time. I tried to control my lustful thoughts, but they seemed to overpower me more regularly than not. Masturbation had become a common theme in my life.

I didn’t know for a fact if it was wrong or not–but something deep in my heart told me it wasn’t God’s best. The guilt I felt after satisfying my lust was like a heavy dark cloud that lingered until morning.

My struggle with lust and masturbation became a constant companion throughout high school. I was on a roller coaster of winning the “battle” one week and losing it the next.

I was growing sick and tired of it.

As I entered my junior year of high school, I came across a little book that changed my life forever. It’s Joshua Harris’ well-known, little hardback book titled, Sex is Not the Problem, Lust Is.

For the first time, a lightbulb went off in my heart. After devouring that book, I gained a biblical understanding of my God-given sexual desires.

I realized that my sexual “drive” wasn’t the enemy. My sinful heart was.

God created our bodies with the capacity to enjoy pleasure and there is nothing wrong with that in and of itself. The problem comes when we allow natural urges to drive our hearts and actions to sinful places.

My eyes were slowly opened to how holy God was and how weak and needy I was. Instead of trying to muster up good behavior, I fell on my knees and cried out to a Holy God in humble desperation. I confessed my heart of pride and selfishness and asked God to forgive me of my lustful sins and for worshipping idols above my worship of Him.

For the first time, I felt free. Free!

My battle with lust wasn’t over, but I was more victorious than I had ever been before.

Masturbation was no longer a normal part of my life.

In fact, from that point on until I got married (seven years later), I only gave in to masturbation a handful of times. Now, don’t get me wrong–I still fought against lustful thoughts in my mind on a regular basis, but they weren’t the theme of my life anymore.

I share my story with you to let you know that victory in Christ is possible. You are not alone in your sexual struggles. We serve a powerful God and no sin is too great for the Cross of our Savior to conquer.

We Aren’t Victims of Our Sexual Desires

Now, let’s talk about women, masturbation, and what the Bible has to say about the topic.

Our modern culture tells us that our sexual urges are like balloons on the verge of popping, and we need to release the intense pressure every now and then.

Although it might feel that way sometimes, God has given us the power through His Holy Spirit to say no to the flesh and yes to righteousness. We are not victims of our sexual desires.

“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16).

The truth is, the more we give in to our sinful desires, the more we fall prey to their grip.

We continue to crave but are never satisfied (James 1:14-15). That’s how sin works. It promises satisfaction but always leaves us empty and hungry.

Regardless of how strong our sexual urges may be, as Christian women, we are commanded to live pure and holy lives for God’s glory and our greatest joy. “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-­5).

God will give us the strength we need to walk in righteousness–we just have to make the choice to strive after it wholeheartedly.

3 Reasons Why I Believe Masturbation Is Sin

Is it a sin to masturbate? What does the Bible have to say about masturbation? While the Bible never explicitly mentions masturbation, it does talk a lot about related topics. Here are three reasons I believe masturbation is a problem for Christians:

1. Masturbation is usually fueled by lust.

While engaging in masturbation, it is very common for pornographic images (whether imagined or seen) and erotica to be used to fuel the act. From what I’ve experienced and researched, it seems that sexual fantasies accompany masturbation around 99% of the time. Masturbation isn’t a solo act, but one that is often fueled by lust.

Although the Bible never addresses masturbation directly, it addresses sexual immorality and lust many times. Lustful thoughts are toxic to our mind and heart.

Related: Can you masturbate without lusting?

1 Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”

Galatians 5:19 says, “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality…”

Rather than seeing how close we can get to the line of compromise without going over, we should do everything within our power to stay as far away from the line of sin as possible.

Even if you claim to masturbate without lusting, why go there? Why allow yourself to be vulnerable to sin?

As long as lust is allowed to grow in one’s heart, the temptation to masturbate will probably always be present. We find lasting freedom only when we attack our lustful sin at its root and do everything within our power to destroy it.

2. The Bible teaches that sex is relational.

The Bible clearly teaches us that God created sex to be enjoyed between one man and one woman within the context of marriage (1 Corinthians 7:9). God created sex to be an expression of our love for our spouse and a way to create intimate bonds with one another.

Within marriage, sex should always be about loving and serving the other person, not about getting what we want.

When sexual intimacy is ripped out of its God-ordained context, it is no longer about loving and serving someone else, but about serving self. Masturbation fuels selfishness.

As Tim Challies says, “Masturbation is inherently self-centered. An act meant to be shared toward two people is completely and exclusively about one person, all alone.”

Outside of marriage, sexual pleasure is isolated from “community.” It is isolated from serving another. It is isolated from loving another. God never intended sexual pleasure to be enjoyed as a solo act, but as a gift to be shared and given within marriage.

3. Masturbation can be a form of self-worship.

As Christian women, our goal in life should be to “love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind” (Luke 10:27). We cannot fully serve God and serve self at the same time.

We can’t worship a holy God and satisfy our lust simultaneously. We can only do one or the other. Either we’ll choose to deny self and worship Christ, or we’ll choose to deny Christ and worship self.

Masturbation elevates self to be the center of our worship–the center of our heart’s affections.

Galatians 6:7-8 is a sobering reminder, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”

We cannot worship God and worship self at the same time.

Winning the Battle Over Masturbation

Regardless of how often or little you struggle with sexual sin (namely masturbation), you are not out of reach of God’s conquering power. Christ died on the cross so we would no longer be slaves to sin.

“We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin,” (Romans 6:6).

If you desire to conquer your struggle with masturbation, there is no better time than now to humble yourself and confess your sin to the Father. Freedom begins today.

This post is the first half of a two-part series. In the second half, we’ll continue chatting openly about how we, as Christian women, can find lasting freedom from masturbation.

  1. Hi Kay!
    Yes I strongly believe in empowering women to access and learn how to take ownership of their bodies and gaining the freedom of expressing their sexuality openly and freely. It’s about taking ownership of our orgasm and ridding ourselves of shame and guilt and expressing and enjoying the pleasure we feel in a context of joy and acceptance. Some would say that this is hedonistic or self worship. Yes it can become that if one is not careful, absolutely. But the answer also isn’t repression and shame. We are sexual beings and why would our clitoris be jammed full of nerve endings if not for the joy of orgasmic release. Of course I wish my husband could fulfill this all the time.

    I have found masturbation to be a form of healthy sexual expression as well as a form of self-care.
    For those who are living in shame and repression and suffering in silence I say stop doing this to yourself. Give yourself permission to love yourself. It’s okay to enjoy sex. God gave us this gift. Why not enjoy it.

    My husband is limited but he’s made strides to become more sexually active with me, via oral sex on me. This is still sex. I masturbate in front of him and he enjoys watching me. I enjoy being able to cum for him. With the help of our sex therapist he has learned how to message my prostate and enable me to ejaculate. It is one of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever felt. It’s mind blowing! And my husband gives this to me.

    For those those who are single and waiting and wanting to be pure. I encourage you to stay strong but don’t force yourself to suffer. Give your body what it needs. Get to know your vagina. Get to know your clitoris. Experiment and get to know what feels good for you. Allow yourself to experience and enjoy orgasm. Don’t see masturbation as a sin but rather as an alternative to staying sexually pure.

    Your sister
    Toni

    • Cindy
      You are so welcome honey. Don’t be ashamed of your sexuality. Get back to me and let me know how you are doing with this. I am excited for what God has for you and your future mate.

      As far as masturbation I would encourage you to explore your vagina and feel around. Touch your clitoris and get to know it. Enjoy it and don’t be ashamed to express the pleasure you feel. Whether once a week or twice or however you feel you need to or want to. When you orgasm you release toxins and stress and chemicals that help your overall well being. Let yourself go and let your orgasm come naturally. Let it out and enjoy the energy that flows through it.

      Your sister
      Toni

  2. Cindy-
    I truly empathize with your situation and my heart goes out to you. I understand the struggle and the pain and how hard it is to deal with our desires and how to reconcile them with our relationship with God. I’ve been there and know what it is like to struggle with hormones and emotions and the craving for intimacy. Just to be held and to be told I am beautiful when I don’t feel that way about myself at times. Our sex drive is a very powerful one to say the least and many things can and do trigger it. I am married but my husband is not able to have intercourse with me. I suffered for a while not being able to be pleasured sexually by him. I prayed and prayed about it but the desire didn’t go away. I have always had a high libido which my Dr said was not due to any abnormalities via hormone imbalance, etc. I am just a woman who gets horny and enjoys orgasm and the pleasure of being with my man sexually and being able to give him pleasure. I discovered masturbation as a healthy alternative which has helped me to have the sexual release I know I need. I fantasize about my husband. I think about him penetrating me and making me cum.

    Through sex therapy with a Christian counselor recently my husband had regained some of his confidence to where he is willing and able now to give me oral sex which i enjoy and my orgasm has elevated to another level now. I am also able to express emotion I didn’t know was in me but it is amazing. I still masturbate, which I feel free in my conscience to do so and my husband is fine with it.

    My encouragement to you is this: don’t struggle and suffer honey. Masturbation can be a good thing for you if you will let yourself go and allow yourself to enjoy it and express yourself through it. It is a matter of conscience in my opinion, but also a necessary thing in order to keep your from fornication or adultery. Orgasmic release is an important part of not only our sexual health, but mental and emotional as well. I would say that nothing can separate you from God’s love. Nothing. We are all fallen and in need of God’s grace. Is masturbation the be all end all? Absolutely not! But to suffer and to punish yourself with guilt isn’t healthy either. Try masturbating more and see if you start to feel more comfortable. Consider buying a vibrator and experiment a little to see if you feel comfortable. You don’t have to look at porn. Just focus on giving yourself pleasure and think about calming images from nature or play soft music.

    • Kay Bruner

      Toni,

      It sounds like you and your husband have persevered in a really wonderful way through some difficult challenges. It’s wonderful to hear a story like that. Thank you so much for sharing these words of hope. Thank you so much for speaking up in support of women’s pleasure and sexual health.

      Peace,
      Kay

    • Cindy

      Toni,
      Thank you so much for the encouragement. I felt so relieved after reading your post. I truly believe that GOD will help me through this until HE sends my mate. Thank you again.

    • Ruth

      You are applying, throughout this comments section, your personal experience to the circumstances and choices other people have, while claiming to be freeing people. I get a sense that you are fighting the conviction that you are using this website to lead others into sin as justification for your personal choices. We do not discern whether or not a behavior or a temptation is “sin” based on personal experience or the finite knowledge of humans who take pride in their wordly “knowledge” rather than in the knowledge of God. If any “scientific” discovery does not line up with God’s holy character then that is plumbline proving it is man’s “truth” not God’s truth. If something “feels” right to you then it also does not prove for all humans everywhere for all time that it is “right.” As in, “righteous.”

  3. Cindy

    I normally keep my struggles private, but I’m dealing with this situation as well. I just turned 40 and my hormones are all over the place! I’m a christian and I’ve been single for 11 yrs. It’s been so frustrating for me as I’ve gone without sex and masturbation during this time. I thought I was over it until recently when I went out on a date with my ex. We went out for lunch one Sunday and after we hugged and said our goodbyes, all of those feelings came rushing back in, stronger than ever! We didn’t even kiss! Long story short, I admit to masturbating twice over a two month period. I have a strong urge to do it again, but I feel so hurt. I’ve been praying, crying, and talking to a close friend, but the feelings and emotions are so strong. I try not to watch anything that will trigger any thoughts, but I decided to search how to stop masturbation on google and all sorts of pictures popped up. This really fueled the fire! Besides praying and trying my best to keep thoughts out of my mind, I don’t know what to do. Any advice would be helpful. I love God so much and I know that He will see me through. I feel better knowing that I’m not alone. Thank you.

    • Matt

      Hi Cindy, I really sympathize with your situation. I suggest you try meditating. It is a way to release your tension and stress without feeling like you have failed spiritually. If you like, I can suggest a free online meditation group for you to join. Good luck!

  4. Molly Martin

    Just like ANY sin – it isn’t the actual action that is the sin. ALL sin, lying to murder – to all sexual things…you’re action are rebelling against GOD!!!! That is the sin!!! Remember David? He was an adulterous, murdered. And he knew his actions were only against God! That is the original sin and still is today. ALL physical things, done outside of marriage, are against what God has told to us. There are consequences and there is forgiveness. But just really stop and be honest. When you have physical things with yourself, what is in your mind? God tells us to think about whatever is good, pure, lovely, to think on there things. Porn and bad images in our heads, if we are honest, they usually are bad things. As for the married people on here, I’m so sorry your spouses are sick and can’t be with you like they could. But isn’t “LOVE” for important than physical needs? God is love!! Physical stuff, is just that. And oh has it be twisted into so much darkness by satan. Can’t the physical acts we exchange for laying next to someone and holding their hand? Rubbing their back? Praying together? As a single person, never married, I have to believe that physical things, just like our looks and strength, will weaken, get old, and fade away. And physical things aren’t even in Heaven? Why rebell against God’s commands? Why sin against HIM? And all for what? I think crying out to Jesus is always the best choice and seeing a good Christian counselor is wise to! What is not wise, is to allow our itching ears to listen to what some of the people have posted here. I have to believe the Bible over these people’s comments saying physical things with yourself is okay. It is not obeying God.

    • Molly
      I appreciate hearing your perspective on this. Can we abstain from sex? Yes that’s possible. Is it realistic? For many it isn’t. Fornication and adultery are clearly sinful actions. However, sexual release is a real need just like our craving for food and water. We in the church hear all the time about married couples having a great sex life, and told not to withhold sex from our spouse, yet not all of us are able to enjoy that with out spouse. I masturbate to get the release i need and when I do i fantasize about my husband, which isn’t lustful or immoral to do. The Catholic Church is a great example of this of prohibiting sex for its priests and nuns. We have seen where that has gotten them. Sex is a natural and necessary release. It is part of our humanity. We can go back and forth on verses on sex. To me it is a liberty issue. If one feels free in their conscience to masturbate then for them it is okay. Vice versa for others.

    • david

      Holey crap. So anti-Christian!!!! “to all sexual things…you’re action are rebelling against GOD!!!!”

  5. Thank you Kay!

    Masturbation to me and i know for many men and women I have talked to have found it to be a form of self- care and self-love. I am so proud of my 16 yr old son yesterday being able to open up about his sexuality and express his feelings about it to me. He has discovered masturbation as a healthy release and alternative to having sex with other girls and potentially getting them pregnant. He has an informed understanding about his body and need especially at his age to release sperm in order to curb his craving for sex.

    I am proud of my 29yr old daughter who also was able to open up to me recently about the joy of masturbation and how it helps her to curb her cravings as well as she navigates the difficult road of singleness. I am proud of my kids making responsible choices and having developed an informed choice to express their sexuality in a healthy and safe manner.

    May we enjoy the gift of our sexuality and not walk in shame.

    Toni

    • Ruth

      So, your son is “curbing” his drive to love a girl in purity and selflessly pursue her. He is weakening the potential ultimate fulfillment what God gifted to one male-one female lifelong marital relationships. The drive as well as the function of sex to produce a powerful intimacy can never be experienced in any other human relationship. God’s special design existed before Adam and Eve sinned. It is a gift, not a necessity. Food and water are necessary to maintain life. Battling our human flesh until we leave this life behind forever is also a “promise” and why Jesus commanded us to “take up our cross daily.” If it’s a Cross to bear, then it’s not easy, and it’s not “natural.”

  6. Jnicole

    Hello. Im am 23 years old, single, and I keep falling back into the same habit of pleasing myself. Its very frustrating because I will do it and then feel guilty. Ask for forgiveness. Then be alright for a few weeks or days, and then go back to the same cycle. Frankly, I am not sure if I am praying the right prayer or that God is getting tired of me doing the same thing and let me fall into my sin. I hate the hold this habit has over my life. I want to stop, so bad, but I don’t know how. I find that when I am alone, that is when I usually do it because I know no one is around to interrupt and I feel like its a “great opportunity” to do it. I just hope someone can pray for me and give any advice they have. I really want to move on… I feel like this habit is withholding a blessing of a husband/boyfriend that could be great for me.

    • Moriah Dufrin

      Hi Jnicole,

      Thank you for being open with your struggles. At Covenant Eyes, we believe strongly in accountability. Do you have someone whom you could reach out to and hold you accountable? I would recommend our blog article, The Importance of Accountability.

      I pray that you are able to find peace during this time of trial!
      Blessings,
      Moriah

    • JNicole
      From one woman to another, it sounds to me like you are struggling with shame, guilt, and self-condemnation. I did for years as a single woman. My advice to you is this, masturbation is natural and the better alternative to fornicating. Accountability isn’t going to do a thing to curve your sex drive, which at 23 is very strong. You can’t ignore or try to busy yourself away with other things to keep yourself from wanting to orgasm. You masturbate because you need the release and it feels good. Whoever has made you think or believe that thst masturbation is a sin is just giving you their ooinom. Youth pastors and lay youth leaders are notorious for infusing shame and guilt on this issue. No you don’t want to go have sex with some boyfriend and end up pregnant like I did when I was 17. I wish someone would’ve encouraged me to consider that there has to be some alternative to dealing with our natural sexual urges. A cold shower, suffering alone in your room feeling depressed because you couldn’t resist the temptation to masturbate isn’t going to do you any good. God doesn’t see you the way you may think. He made you and He loves you. The messages of basically what amounts to sexual shaming, primarily made up and men and women who have been been brainwashed by certain people in the church don’t make this struggle any easier. You almost can’t even look at anything without feeling guilt

      Masturbate honey. There’s nothing wrong with it. enjoy this gift of your sexuality and express it. I’m 46 now and I am free from guilt and shame. I enjoy orgasm and masturbation has become the alternative to a sexless marriage and what has kept me from committing adultery in the past. I need sexual release and being able to masturbate allows me to have the release I need. Get to know your vagina and explore and get to know it.

    • Kay Bruner

      Toni, thank you for speaking up. There is so much unnecessary shame around sexuality and masturbation, especially for women.

    • Anna

      Many people here who are encouraging others to masturbate and feel well with your conscience are directly speak against the Words and Will of the Lord. I am not trying to condemn you but just want to speak the truth.

      Just because your conscience does not feel bad when you do that means nothing. That action just shows you are putting your conscience above God’s words and wills rather than trying to seek Him and His true will for your body and life. A murderer could have said the same about how their conscience feels right but does that changes the fact they are still commiting a sin? We can’t based what we think is right or wrong based on our heart, which is said to be the most deceptive by God himself.

      By encouraging others to masturbating without guilt, you are simply being used by the enemy without even knowing. Again, I understand that you may honestly believe it is the right thing to do therefore, encourage others to do it without even knowing the enemy is using you. So I am not condemning or villanize you but just wanting to convict you to reflect on this action.

      To anyone who said having sexual desire is God’s gift and we should use it. Please remember God has commanded us not to indulge in the flesh and to flee from lust. We were given this sexual organ by God when we were young for a purpose but its only meant for healthy sexual behaviors between us and our spouse in marriage. Even if we have sex with our spouse, think about whether our sexual behaviors are meant for honoring and being fruitful or just for self gratification or gratifying our spouse. Because the gentile go after all different kinds of behaviors and call it sex, anal, s&m, masturbation, oral without any boundary. But as Christ followers, we are born by God and to worship God, not sex. We must have boundaries and be steadfast and honor him with out bodies and even in love making.

      I am single and in my mid twenties. I have been struggling with masturbation since I was a teenager and once in a while I still commit it. But that gives me no reason to say it is healthy or good. Even if I were to get married one day and struggle with masturbation again, it will still be a sin and not something I should selfjustify because I am married. Many people in the bible struggled with sins, and the good thing is God has used them to teach us. God is also merciful enough to forgive them. But the thing is, don’t pretend those are not sins. We must first acknowledge it and repent in order to win the war.

      When the judgement day comes, we must come face to face with our sins with God. So we should try our best to really understand His words rather than going around it with our own logic. By doing that, we are trying to play our own God, which not only means we worship sex over God but also ourselves over God.

    • God's Girl

      Jnicole,
      I am 17 and word for word experiencing the same thing. I feel like every time I give into temptation my dream of becoming a wife and mother gets pushed farther and farther away. I’ve also felt like God MUST be through with me by now and can’t possibly want to keep forgiving me. But always remember that God is not a man. Remember that “when we are faithless, he remains faithful – for he cannot deny himself.” (2 Timothy 2:13) Jesus already paid the price for every time we sin. In the past and future. It helps me to remember that Jesus knows what we are going through when we experience this type of temptation.
      “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” Hebrews 4:15
      Jnicole I am praying for you. You sharing your story really encouraged me to know that there are other girls out there who are struggling similarly. I just know that God has wonderful plans for you and I hope you keep your eyes on the prize and never get discouraged running the good race. We can beat this!

    • david

      You should not have shame. The sex drive is God given and masturbating til married is better than alternatives. When I was your age I felt guilty too then I was married for 20 years and was never an issue but now that I am divorced I can look after myself without guilt. My up bringing also taught me that when married but if no possibility for procreation that sex with my wife was wrong (I would think that most of the anti-sex/masturbation on here think the same way). When I was with my wife with no possibility for procreation I felt very guility. I was told by a 83 yr old former pastor that what we are taught (brainwashed) will instill feelings of guilt.

    • Melody

      Hey can you contact me. I would like to speak more on this. Even though you wrote this about a year ago. Can I receive your email. I struggle with the same thing

  7. To those who disagree about the argument for masturbation there is far more to this issue than just spiritual. We are free to agree and disagree and there are mixed opinions on this of course. To put it simply, the Bible is silent on masturbation with not one commandment about it. We are allowed liberties that God has given to us to decide on with our conscience. The Bible doesn’t condemn cigarette smoking or drinking, but common sense along with medical science that God has given to us shows that smoking is harmful to our health, along with too much alcohol consumption can damage our livers. We can go around and around on this and never come to an agreement.

    We can go back and forth about lust making masturbation wrong. That’s a a subjective opinion and they vary. If masturbation is wrong for you then fine don’t do it. But we shouldn’t judge or condemn someone who is free in their conscience to do it. My conscience allows me to masturbate without guilt or shame. So it isn’t for anyone else to judge me because I do. I masturbate because I am in a sexless marriage due to medical reasons of my husband to no fault of his own. Masturbation is an enjoyable release for me. The clitoris has over 8.000 nerve endings. Why would God give me the ability to enjoy pleasure then if masturbation is wrong yet say nothing about it. It has been discovered by medial researchers and sex therapists that masturbation is a healthy part of orgasmic release and can in some cases help release both physical and emotional tension and elevate mood and help balance hormonal issues.

    To Bret, my heart goes out to you. We are in the same boat. I am glad that you have found freedom to masturbate and enjoy it. As your sister in Christ i affirm you and support you. I want to encourage you to express the pleasure you feel when you masturbate and know that your are accepted and loved and that God made your body the way He did. You absolutely need to release that excess sperm and I am willing to guess you feel better after you ejaculate. I know I feel good too when I orgasm.

    Thank you Kay for your support.

    To Rick and anonymous I hope your are able to learn about compassion and love. Your comments are negative and condemning. Perhaps you are disguising your own secret struggles. Just wondering.

    Toni

    • I am Robert – 85 yrs. young & former seminarian and now retired military, BS & MS. Obviously, “Anonymous” didn’t understand her previous comdemnation of Toni’s
      well-expressed feelings. The judgment is God’s priviledge, not ours. Ours is to agree to disagree and
      love one another despite our own feelings about issues.

    • david

      I agree 100%. Anti-masturbation, anti-vaccination, conspiracy theories etc … people do not have common sense nor compassion etc … yet they consider themselves Christians … um

    • Bible is not silent on masturbation, it is positive!

      Song of Solomon, Chapter 5.
      Vs 2.
      I slept, but my heart was awake.
      Listen! my beloved is knocking.

      Vs 5.
      I arose to open to my beloved,
      and my hands dripped with myrrh,
      my fingers with liquid myrrh,
      upon the handles of the bolt.

      (It is about him in between those verses.)

      Something else you need to know about this girl in chapter 5.

      Who is she?
      Chap 1:8 “fairest among women,”
      Chap 4:7 ‘You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.’
      Chap 5:2 “flawless”
      Chap 5:9 “O fairest among women”

      Chapter 6:11 identifies her as a Shulammite. The meaning of the name is “From the verb שלם (shalem), to be or make whole or complete” – getting out of bed with her hand dripping with ‘myrrh’ – she was masturbating herself.
      It means purity includes being about to masturbate oneself.

  8. I agree anonymous

    • He knows my name.

      Hi there, no disrespect to anyone but are you all listening to yourselves? This is exactly what the enemy likes. Disputes among Christians. We all are sinners one way or another. I’m Christian and a sinner.
      I love all of you for who you are not for what you do. Let’s not judge one another. God is the only Judge. That is between you and the Lord.
      Step aside and give it to Jesus.
      Peace to all.

  9. I agree with anonymous…Toni is totally out of line in this situation.

    • Elga

      I dont think so… masturbation is helping when your husband couldnt do what he had to do…. because of medical condition etc

      It is not about the masturbation itself..
      But abaout what do you thinking while doing it…
      Do you addicted to it?

      Or do you have any suggestion how to deal with it (when your spouse can’t fulfil your sexual need which is come from God too)?

    • david

      Wow. Masturbation is not a sin. If you think otherwise you are full of hate, bigotry and false doctrine. Get thee behind me Satan.

    • Ruth

      Toni is causing herself to crave isolated sexual pleasure by indulging in it often. Once you exercise self-control (the fruit of the Holy Spirit) you will increase your strength to obey God. Your obedience will increase your intimacy with God. Isolated self-gratification certainly must pale in comparison to the mutual giving and receiving designed by God, which is also a reflection of His nature and character. As a side note, two people of the same sex also can never achieve mutual, simultaneous giving and receiving as God designed for His image-bearers.

  10. Kay

    I agree with Toni- there’s nothing wrong with it. That is between you and God while I dealt with those same feelings, I learned so much about my body and my sexuality when I finally broke free of those guilt feelings. Why would God want me to feel guilty for my body feeling things that are natural? I enjoy my sexual side even when I’m not aroused I can embrace that side of me without feeling like I’m gonna get struck down by Lightning. Others might not agree and might even try to bash me for it which is so unChristian like which is why I BARELY participate in these type of conversations with Christians because honestly Christians are always the main ones talking about how important it is to be sexually available to their husbands or wives but they can’t or won’t even tell them what they like or even experiment without being so mentally repressed. I could literally write a whole book on this.

    • Kay
      I am with you 100%. As your sister in Christ I am dumbfounded by the mesmerizing of so many Christians myself. There should be no place for hate, bigotry, or judgment on this issue. Masturbation is not a sin issue or a moral issue if that. Sexual addiction can and does come into play when things grow out of balance. Thankfully, I have found peace and contentment that allows me to enjoy self-pleasure without guilt or shame. Our bodies were designed to experience and to enjoy sexual pleasure. It isn’t up to our spouses to fulfill us sexually. Masturbation has become a tool for me to get to know my body and to learn how to give myself the pleasure and release I want and need to have. It wasn’t until I began this journey 3 years ago that I discovered how incredible and intricate and delicate my clitoris is and how God designed it. I no longer walk in shame or embarrassment at my own sexuality. I am able to express it freely now. So liberating! And lust hasn’t been the stereotypical drive behind it. What is so horrible about fantasizing about your spouse and to still be able to orgasm as if you literally did the act? I am probably the minority here but if I can be an advocate for Christian women on this issue i welcome the opportunity. Also, I think we need to learn compassion and understanding as far as our LGBT sisters as well and to come alongside with love and support. Let us leave judgment and condemnation out of the conversation and embrace our humanity and express it without fear.

    • Jamie J

      I agree. As a woman who has seen and experienced a lot, in relationships and out of them, this is a gift to us. Once i broke out of the guilt of self pleasure not only did I enjoy it more but I felt free to be me and free to not be consumed by it.
      It is something I enjoy and I wish the same for many other women who deserve it too.

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