Some time ago, we received a comment about quitting masturbation:
“I have eliminated porn from my life. How can I break the habit of masturbation and lust? Every time I get overwhelmed or stressed out, my mind clicks off and I end up giving in to the lust, masturbation, and fantasy. I could use your prayers please, and any good devotional.”
Like this person, you may feel trapped by habitual masturbation even after leaving porn behind. Christians have different convictions when it comes to masturbation. However, it’s a habit that easily feels out of control, and many people (Christians and non-Christians alike) need help dealing with it.
Why Can’t I Stop Masturbating?
This question highlights our great need to guard our hearts above all else, because we live out of the overflow of our hearts (Proverbs 4:23). From a Christian perspective, breaking free of porn and masturbation means changing heart desires rather than just behaviors.
The Bible does not directly condone or condemn masturbation—there’s no one passage that specifically forbids it as Matthew 5:28 forbids lusting after a person. But the Bible does address a myriad of heart-level issues tied to why people masturbate. Scripture also shows us the path to freedom.
Related: Can you masturbate without lusting?
The Connection Between Masturbation and Faith
What I loved about this question is how self-aware the questioner is. He has already identified the trigger of stress as a catalyst for his habit to fester. He sees masturbation as his habitual way to “escape” and feels he is not living out his values consistently. This ability to “see the sin before the sin” is a prerequisite step for anyone looking to overcome this habit.
In my experience, the battle with masturbation is a battle of faith. Behind any habit is a belief system that fuels it. We must replace the old belief system with a new one. We must fight this fight of faith on three fronts:
- In our triggers
- In our bodies
- In our deepest longings
How to Resist the Urge to Masturbate
Remember, before you think about overcoming masturbation, make sure you’ve taken the prerequisite step: quitting porn.
However, even after leaving porn behind, you may still wonder, “Why do I masturbate when I’m sad, lonely, or stressed?” The urge can feel overwhelming, and you may be discouraged by your repeated attempts to quit.
See: How to Quit Porn: 6 Essential Steps.
1. Identify Your Triggers
There are different kinds of triggers: external and internal. An external trigger might be spotting a racy billboard on the way to work or seeing a plunging neckline. Learning to bounce our eyes away from these sorts of triggers can be very helpful.
But it is our internal triggers that are the hardest to run from because they are…well…in us.
Stress as a Trigger
Like the gentleman quoted above, the trigger might be stress. We might turn to masturbation as our refuge, our stress reliever. Stress and anxiety ultimately come from our reactions to stressful situations or circumstances. Why do we react to stressors the way we do? We react with stress because of what we believe about the stressors and the significance we place on them. We need to ask ourselves: What do I believe that makes this situation or circumstance or condition stressful for me? Identify what lies you believe about the stressor and then diligently replace those lies with truth.
Envy as a Trigger
Our trigger might be envy. We might see our friends with their loving marital relationships and think: “I wish I was married,” or “I wish my marriage was more intimate.” We may turn to masturbation as a substitute for what we really want. Again, we must ask ourselves: What do I believe my sex drive is for? Is it to grasp at selfish pleasure, or is it to pursue oneness in marriage?
Anger at God as a Trigger
Our trigger might be anger at God. Perhaps we are dissatisfied with the way our life has turned out, so we blame God. We turn to masturbation as our own private activity that grasps for pleasure all our own, a corner of life we claim as wholly ours, a way to rebel. Again, the battle is one of faith: Why do we believe God owes us anything? Why do we think we ought to get what we desire?
Related: 19 Possible Motives Triggering Your Porn Consumption
2. Address Your Physical Tension
Our sex drives will inevitably build up physical tension, but it is our reaction to that tension that matters most. What are we believing that makes masturbation seem like the only way to release the build-up of testosterone?
God has created built-in release mechanisms for single men: either nocturnal emissions or absorption. For more thoughts on handling your sex drive when you’re single, check out For Singles: How to Handle a Strong Sex Drive in a God-honoring Way.
For couples, God has provided sex as a means of marital intimacy. Do we believe these systems are God-given means of taking care of our bodily drives, or do we believe masturbation is the only way? We must repent of our beliefs about masturbation and pray for a non-sinful release of tension in our members.
3. Examine Your Deep Longings
For many, sexual pleasure is the ultimate escape from reality. Like a drug, it provides a fantasy world where we can forget our sorrows or our boring lives. Instead of using masturbation as an escape from reality, we must learn the habit of escaping into reality, into God Himself. This, again, taps our faith.
Related: Porn and the Desire Dilemma
Things to Do Instead of Masturbating
Do we believe God is an all-satisfying Being? Do we believe it is our chief purpose to glorify God and enjoy Him forever? In the Covenant Eyes ebook Hobbies and Habits, Lisa Eldred explores seven different types of hobbies that you can develop as alternatives to porn and masturbation. Here’s a brief summary:
- Creative hobbies like music, writing, or painting.
- Physical hobbies such as sports, or hiking.
- Practical hobbies including things like cooking and sewing.
- Intellectual hobbies like reading or learning a language.
- Experiential hobbies are sure to leave a lasting impression—like traveling or sky diving.
- Generous hobbies teach you to think about others. It might be serving at a local soup kitchen.
- Social hobbies connect you to other people, which is important because masturbation is a lonely and isolating habit.
Curious to learn more? Download the ebook for free! How has God helped you in your fight?
the calendar system is indeed a good idea and really shows how seriously committed one is to avoid masturbation. I believe that if one sincerely wants to get rid of d habit then anything is possible.
how did u stop?
I was also suffering from habit of excess of masturbation and I think it`s very normal for boys to get addicted of it during their teen age which continues till their marriage or beyond in some cases. I think in many cases it affect their sex life.
When I was 10 years old I got into bad company and without knowing anything about sex I somehow got involved in masturbation. I started doing it more frequently when I entered into teen age i.e. 13 years.
By 14 I started disliking it, like every other person I use to think that this will affect by marriage life however a habit is a habit it doesn’t go off easily and later-on porn sites made it worse.
I use to Google for how to leave this habit but I didn’t find anything concrete. I know every problem has a solution and one fine day when I was thinking about how to leave this I found a way. Which I would like to share with everyone.
1st of all masturbation is not bad but you should have control over it, do it only when you are exited.
I took a pocket calendar (something which you can keep in your pocket, you can get this in any stationary shop)
and I stared marking on the calendar with a cross on the date whenever I masturbate. The aim was to keep a track of how many times I masturbate in a month and reduce it slowly. It’s a human tendency to improve by looking at the earlier records. I wanted to make it a game and who doesn’t want to win a game and offcouse I was young I do not like to lose.
For the 1st month I didn’t do anything I just marked on the calendar whenever I masturbate, the count was 18 this was really shocking for me almost alternate days. I said fine next month I am not going to cross 16 and for the 2nd month the count was 15 that was a challenging task as I was too much involved in masturbation but I was happy looking at the small step towards a big victory.
3rd month the count was nearly 12, 4th month it was again 15, 5th month it again went around 12, 6th month 10, 7th month 12, It was becoming little difficult for me to reduce it below 10 but I was happy I reduce it till 10 in 7 months.
I still wanted to get more control and wanted to reduce it to 4 times a month.
It became a game for me whenever I wanted to masturbate I use to look at the calendar and try to control it, It worked at many occasion.
I continued this and it took me 1 year and 5 month to reduce my count to 3 or 4 now things are in my control I masturbate whenever I feel excited, which is the right thing.
The only thing you need is a little will power I repeat a “little” the calendar will generate results for you.
Access of anything is bad you should masturbate but not more than 4-5 times a month which is roughly once in a week.
I think you can apply this method to leave any habits like watching porn, smoking or drinking too much. There is no medication for habit you just need a small will power.
Good Luck! and do share you experience or results, this will surely encourage other as well.
That’s a great suggestion! However, I’d actually encourage you to quit the habit completely, not just leave it at 3-4 times a month. Porn only serves to build up a tolerance to more porn…whenever you choose to get married, your spouse will still be unable to compete with the images you’ve trained yourself to use. Even in small doses, porn just kicks up the need for more porn. (For more details, go read The Porn Circuit.)
When Michael Leahy was on tour for Porn University, college students would come up and ask if just using porn every few weeks was okay. After all, it’s in moderation, right? His response is great: “What if I just beat my wife every once in a while? That would be okay, right?” Like spouse abuse, porn use is never okay.
Again, I’m glad you’ve found a method that helps you cut back! Now keep working until you cut porn use out completely.
It sounds like you learned to masturbate without dependence upon pornography, which I too found to be KEY as well as the MORAL CERTAINTY as even Luke says, that masturbation in itself isn’t sinful, but actually healthful and serves some valid purposes in both males and females. If you are a young man, I think a couple times a week is healthy. There are women here who don’t realize that regular ejaculation is a legitimate male need, esp. while young. (Google:” Family Man needs sex ” for link to Focus on Family article) Since God didn’t require men to only love one woman, I believe some imagery and variety is permissible, but that is between a man, his wife and his God. People who think that a man would lose his desire for his wife or reject her by comparison to an image on a screen are sincere, but are making mountains out of molehills. A normal guy will nearly always rather have real sex than some messy solo time. no comparison! And, again, commenting on another comment here, how idiotic to compare enjoyment of sexual imagery to violent battery of one’s spouse… I like stuff Adam has been saying.
Rocky, I never said masturbation is healthful and serves a valid purpose, but that the act, in an of itself, is not sinful. It is one thing to say something isn’t sinful. It is another thing to say it isn’t helpful
I used both porn and masturbating to “escape” all the problems in my life. I seriously wish now that i would have found much more productive ways to escape my pain.
Getting into porn/masturbation were the worst decisions I made in my entire life. I live to regret ever indulging myself in both vices, and will the rest of my life now. I truly wish i could turn back time, and start over without these two addictions ever entering my life or my mind. I am not a Christian, but I believe that porn and masturbation are evil and can ruin ones life with the power of temptation.
For those who have control over it, it might not be harmful, but for those who cannot control themselves, it has the potential to ruin your life, as it did mine.
I’ve been a widower for 2 1/2 years. Is it wrong for me to fantasize about relations with my wife and masturbate? We were married 39 years.
No, it is not.
I’m sorry for your loss, Joe. I can’t imagine how you must feel, especially after being married for thirty-nine years. How old were you when you ‘took the plunge,’ if you don’t mind me asking?
OK. On to your question. Do I think it’s wrong for you to fantasize about your wife and masturbate? No. No, I don’t. Here’s what it boils down to: Does it make you feel uncomfortable because she’s no longer living or because you think she would judge you? If its the former, that’s legitimate. It takes time to heal and come to terms with loss (so I’ve heard . . . Thankfully, I haven’t experienced any significant loss yet). If it’s the latter, do you think it would offend her? Do you think she would mind? I didn’t know her but I have a susspicion that she wouldn’t.
Injecting my opinion further, I don’t think it’s particularly wrong to fantasize about anybody if you feel comfortable doing so. We have a short time on this planet and we as humans have the ability to express ourselves however we see fit. Don’t be ashamed to do what you feel (as long as it doesn’t endanger you or others). I hope you find peace, Joe.
-Adam.
For those who replied to Joe, I posted my own reply in this post. He and I have had a great conversation over e-mail in the last week or so.
I am sorry for your loss.But friend seriously???Masterbation is an act of immaturity.Have you ever seen big business men or sensible people masterbating?There shouldn’t be that much.And for your age I personally believe you are quite old enough to do such things.Instead you should marry again and begin your life again.
I’m not sure I agree with that study, as it could very well be working backwards as well. By that I mean the promiscuous nature of the people involved could have influenced their porn usage and not the other way around. I’ve read the passages about lust that everybody mentions and I just don’t see anything there that validates the way people use them. Lust seems more like a term for coveting than anything else. I mean, who among men believe that their imagined fantasy is in love with them?
It isn’t about love, it isn’t about feeling close to anybody. All that remains intact and separated in healthy individuals. I’m quite capable of feeling an unshakable love and closeness with another human being while maintaining a regular, healthy regiment of make-believe hanky panky.
As humans, we are able to use that big, squishy thing floating around inside of our skulls to conjure up anything we please in what we’ve decided to refer to as our imagination. It’s a gift, as far as I’m concerned, just as long as you don’t spend all your time in there.
People, throughout history have had a tendency to demonize any sexual behavior as deviant. I think this argument is really just one of the last diluted remnants of fear and forced-modesty. In time (I hope), it’ll die out, like women being forbidden to show their ankles.
For Adam: it seems to me that you don’t really want to know whether masturbation is a sin or not or why you should abstain from it. Rather, it seems you are here to justify your case. Scriptural evidence are not opinions. Don’t you think those of us who used to enjoy masturbating want to justify it too?! But you can learn the easy way or the hard way, like most of us here. If you truly believe you are right (keep in mind God knows your heart though you may be trying to fool yourself and others), then why argue the point so much in repetitive vigor? You have made your points, mostly accusations, scientific evidence and challenges to the Scriptures–however, those are your points. However, God’s Word is constant. Believe what you will of course m but for your sake, make sure you’re being honest with yourself. We [sinful people of God] just want to help you and others, not start a fight.
P.S. I didn’t read your post thoroughly enough, apparently. I’m sorry for completely missing the “female who’s struggled” line.
Here is another take on what Jesus said. What if he meant that if you lust after a woman you committed adultery was directed at the ones accusing others of their sin of lust?He’s saying here that you can not be on your high horse of not commuting adultery because we all have looked at the opposite sex in lust. And if someone tells you otherwise that they don’t lust – think again. They are also being a liar. Tread carefully around them. They might also have other schemes and motives up their sleeves. This has been proven time and time again by our church. The leaders fall. And they mostly fall to adultery. Why? Because they have it backwards. We are sinners. We lust after others. It’s called temptation. It’s the steps you take that leads into sin or not. Just admit to yourself and others that you would like to have sex with that person you find attractive. I do. And right then and there the devil flees. It’s out in the open. The feeling goes away. Don’t hold it in and fight it. God fights it. Not us. Think.about.that.
I can tell you that I went three months without masturbation. I committed more sin in those three months than I did when I was masturbating. It even led me to having sex outside of marriage. I feel guilt when I masturbate. But that guilt is not from the soul. It’s from everyone else saying it is wrong. This whole generation of Merican’s needs to man up and grow a pair. This reserve physco babble of what was taught in this church culture is the devils work. It’s turning men back into little boys. Man up and admit you are a sinner. Sexual drives are part of the mystery of God’s working. We need to be men. Not some emasculated species that can’t openly admit our urges to others. I could go on about the internet and the way it is going to be needed not only to thrive in the years to come but also to survive. There is no escaping the exposure. People are already finding ways to counter the filters to get someone struggling with masturbation to view their work. In fact – because of the filters you will be targeted more because they know you have a speed supposed problem. Man up! If I see woman and I am attracting to her – I will admit I want to have sex with her. Am I going to act on it. No. Because I admitted it – it goes away. I’m revealed by God that she is not some goddess and beauty is fleeting. I start to see who she really is as a person. And then I treat her like a sister. Treating her like a sister while harboring sexual desires for her is determental. Looking away at a fleshy billboard consciously is weak and opens the door for the devil to get into your head. We are men. Not little boys. Let’s start acting like it. Let’s be open about our thoughts and desires to others who can help share our burdens. And that takes flat out honesty.
the thing is we humans always want to defend our actions whether good or bad. pornography, without giving it a thought is devilish. why should people who wear clothes decide at normal days to be naked on the internet? or why should married couple decide to show off their sexual intercourse? to me it is just abnormal. or is one’s sexual life suppose to be made public? hide your sexual intercourse and there will not be anything called pornography. to sum it up, sin is an invention not a creation.
Adam, I’d just like to make a comment. I understand where you’re coming from with all of the health benefits. Sure, those facts have all been proven true.
But those aren’t good reasons for justifying masturbation. I’m sorry but I’ve never really heard of anyone masturbating to benefit just their health or their body. We feel compelled to please ourselves because it feels good and a lot of times it’s related to desiring that pleasure from someone else. But seeking that desire outside of marriage isn’t what god intended because it isnt real love. I think what you said about the benefits of masturbation are true but that’s why god gave us sex instead. It’s something fulfilling and designed to be holy for us to share with our partners. And I think that’s where a lot of that guilt comes from, the shame in going against God’s plan. Why would God give us/approve of masturbation when he’s given us the gift of companionship and presented us with numerous scriptures about husbands and wives? If He wanted us to masturbate or was perfectly OK with it, then there would be no need for partners.
Saying no to pleasing myself is worth it so that I can wait for the right man to come along and contribute to our loving marriage in the marriage bed (:
I’ve read many forums(not all Christian) declaring that masturbation is perfectly normal. But just because society has presented us with that notion doesn’t mean we should succumb to it. I recognize all your reasons as the same ones i’ve read about that have helped confuse me and at times make me feel better about my actions. But it just comes down to my relationship with God. And I believe there’s a reason I feel guilty afterward. Living the life of a christian isnt always easy and this is part of the battle.
Sorry for the rant! Just wanted to throw my own opinions out there and maybe help give perspective from a female who’s struggled.
And to clarify, not every living mammal masturbates. Not even every living male mammal!
Kelsey,
I like to think I’ve been very analytical and calm while discussing this issue. I can no longer do so, as I’m very passionate about this cause (as strange as that may seem) and wish to speak with passion, if I may, for a moment.
Reading through question forums like Yahoo Answers, I run across many queries that disturb me and answers that make me physically sick to read. The questions in… question… are usually ones like “is it a sin to masturbate,” “will I go to hell if I watch porn,” and “does god still love me if I masturbate.” The most outrageous answer to one of those questions (which was voted the ‘best’) had the kid convinced that God would kill him to prevent him from sinning… Yeah, I’m sure that didn’t scare the living crap out of him.
By reading your reply, I am going to assume you are female (as you spoke about finding “the right man”). If that assumption is wrong, I apologize but for the sake of argument, I’m going to go forth with that assumption. I can’t speak for females who masturbate, though I think it’s as normal as anything else. I wonder how big the biological urges are for women, though, given that there are tons of questions on said sites that ask things like “what is masturbation?” A man would never ask that question because it’s nearly an instinct to us. I found out about it in a very natural way, not through snickering children on the playground or somebody answering my question about it online. That is the case for nearly EVERYBODY I’ve spoken to, also.
If God thinks masturbation is so wrong, why is there no solid passage addressing it and not just a bunch of vague scriptures that people have to practically cut up into scrabble pieces to make them fit their argument? Many men throughout history have used such vague passages for their own sinister purposes and this is no different. In my humble opinion, it isn’t a sin. People need to stop scaring their kids and let them get on with their NORMAL lives. When you get older, things calm down in that department and I suppose it’s easy for parents to forget their own teenage years.
From my experience, I’ve never had parents that got onto me for this so I’m not bitter. I’ve had friends who’s parents were (what I consider to be) overly-fanatical in their religious practices and said some very damaging things to him on this and other subjects. I had to be the voice of reason. I wish I could be the voice of reason for every kid who’s had their head filled with this nonsense. Hopefully I’ve reached out to a few of them with my messages on here.
Guys (and girls!), please don’t be afraid. Don’t feel abnormal. Don’t fear for your soul. It is a natural part of being human. It’s a natural biological need. There are many articles about the benefits of masturbation. Some even state that masturbation and (gasp!) porn can make a marriage last longer, as it makes the men less likely to grow tired of their wife by giving him verity without introducing infidelity. Jesus acted as a human on earth for thirty-three years. I don’t believe for one minute, if he’s supposed to be acting as our moderator, that God doesn’t understand and accept this behavior. If he made us and methodically constructed us from the ground up, why on EARTH would he design our bodies to conflict with his vision?
That’s all.
-Adam.
Hi Adam,
I think you are correct that masturbation, in an of itself, is not sinful. The Bible does not say anything about it. It would be unwise to label it as sinful.
Lust, however, is sinful (according to a Christian perspective). As I wrote in another post, the mental habits that often attend masturbation are the problem. Lust does not go hand-in-hand with masturbation all the time, and for this reason it is unwise to say that masturbation is itself a sin.
If a person feels some guilt over masturbation, it is best to help them reconsider the catalyst of their guilt. To feel guilt over ejaculation is really unhelpful. The focus of one’s attention should not be on the physical act, but the habits of lust underneath.
You are right about another thing: God did not design our bodies to conflict with his vision for our lives. We are meant to enjoy sex. But we are also meant to enjoy all that sex entails, non just the physical aspects of it. From a Christian perspective, God designed sexuality to be a bonding experience, an expression of self-giving. This is one reason why lust is so insidious: it projects the imagination into a bonding experience with another person with whom you have no life commitment. The sex God has given us to experience is an experience of oneness with another person. Lust takes us away from that.
So, God did not wire us for lust and pornography. He wired us for intimacy, sexual intimacy included. To claim that lusting after the women in pornography helps a couple bond with each other not only goes against what God has revealed in the Bible, it also goes against what he has revealed in the psychology of human sexuality.
Take for example a great study that came out in 2011 in The Journal of Sex Research after hundreds of interviews were conducted among college students. For both men and women, the frequency of viewing pornography was correlated with more casual sexual relationships. For men specifically, frequency of viewing pornography was correlated with a lower satisfaction with sex and relationships. For both men and women, those who reported using more types of pornography also reported more intercourse partners and more casual sex partners.
There are many studies like these out there. The point is that pornography trains our minds with new sexual beliefs and expectations. This kind of lust bonds us, not to one woman who we are called to love and serve, but to pixels on a screen.
That is not the kind of man I want to be.
I am with you KELSEY personally I think that one feels weaker when he masterbates because after one time you do it you need atleast one week recover all your energy which you released in the form of sperm
One feels tired after masturbation and he just wants to go to sleep.
Scientifically 1 drop of sperm is equal to 100 drops of blood.So how much blood one is wasting.
And it affects you in the just the same way as pornography.Basically masturbation is almost about porn.When you not watch porn and masterbate its the same thing.Instead watch porn but don’t masterbate that would be better.Even masterbating after 1 2 or 3 months is also a bad habit.
I think that’s enough to criticize masterbation
I agree with kesley,not all mammals musterbate,infact human beings were given wisdom to distinguish good and evil but they are doing worse thngs than some mammals which do not know wat is good and evil.We should seek God’s deliverance and his forgiveness
im a teenage man, i really need your help i am Christian.. believer of Christ. Masturbation knocks me up whenever i am alone, angry , stressed. i want to escape this immorality in my mind . i want to be used by God for his glory . please response . thank you
Hi Zach,
Thanks for your question. I highly recommend you check out our “Struggling” tab. You’ll find lots of great resources to read, listen to, and watch about breaking free from lust.
Zach, you can take this with a grain of salt if you like. Your beliefs are your own and you need not listen to mine if you don’t wish to but I’d really appreciate it if you’d give be the benefit of the doubt, OK?
After a person masturbates, the brain releases these things called ‘endorphins.’ Without getting too technical, their main function is to make you feel good. If you are stressed or angry, they can help to curb those feelings. There is nothing immoral about masturbation. It’s a natural thing that everybody does and if they say they don’t, they aren’t telling you the truth.
Besides making you fell good, masturbation also serves you in other positive ways. Research suggests that regular masturbation drastically reduces the likelihood of prostate cancer occurring in your body. It also serves to replace dead or heavily degenerated sperm cells and keeps the bodies testosterone level from building, which keeps those hormonally charged urges under (better) control. (It’s also thought that the lack of regular masturbation may lead to problems like erectile dysfunction later in life.)
Now, if masturbation has all those benefits and the lack of masturbation has all those drawbacks, don’t you think it’s a little flawed to assume that God, the one who is supposed to have created the human body, would consider it immoral for you to utilize your bodies natural, built in fail safes? It isn’t even confined to humans. Every living mammal masturbates. Think about it, OK? Please.
dont worry Zach bud…it used to happen to me I need you to pray to THE LORD OF HOSTS ask Him for forgiveness and ask Him to cleanse you and give you a new mind and renew you and be strong in Christ Jesus Our Lord…I’m a teenager too and I feel what you are going through
Zach can u help by adding me on Facebook… loveday chiwuike.
There is no scientific evidence that obtaining from masturbation leads to eventual nocturnal emission. In fact, some people never experience ONE. There are many healthy benefits to masturbating. It frequently recycles stagnant sperm and even helps to prevent prostate cancer. Don’t try to fool yourself into thinking that trying to force yourself to fight against your body’s natural functions and needs is going to do anything more than hurt you and make you irritable/miserable. Just try and stop a sneeze. Abstain from that and see what happens. Furthermore, I’m willing to bet that the guy who wrote this did so in hypocrisy. NOBODY can completely break the ‘habit’ because it isn’t a ‘habit.’ It’s a biological need that you’re squelching. It makes me sick that people are trying to teach these mentally vulnerable kids this kind of stuff.
You are right that many people never experience a nocturnal emission.
This post assumes the person is masturbating as a means to fulfill lust. If that is not the case for someone, then I don’t believe there is a problem with masturbation.
The way I look I look at it, people are lustful by nature and masturbation is a way of fulfilling that lust without harming anybody else.
By the way, I understand that this is a Christian website built on traditional beliefs. I’m currently a believer but with what I’d consider more progressive views. I’d like to thank you for allowing me to voice my opinion. I understand that all comments are screened and it’s extremely cool that you let mine through to have a gentlemanly discussion.
Absolutely.
As for your progressive beliefs, what principles guide your progress? That is, when examine traditional beliefs taught in the Scriptures, what principles do you use to say, “This traditional belief is true, but this one is false”? Just curious.
I would challenge you about the notion of harm. You stated, “people are lustful by nature and masturbation is a way of fulfilling that lust without harming anybody else.” What if, by giving into lust, you are harming yourself? I’m not asking if you actually believe you are harming yourself. Rather, I’m asking, if harm is what determines right and wrong, would harming yourself also mean that what you are doing is wrong? Or is there some other principle at work here?
OK… first off, let me make this point: Long ago, the ‘nocturnal emissions’ that are spoken of by nearly every Christian outlet as being God’s intended way to relieve (if I may) buildup used to be considered unclean also. Though involuntary, it still arouses with ‘lustful’ imagery to lead to a (again, if I may) climax. In a lot of those cases, the images your brain produces in those dreams deal with real-world people that you find attractive. Therefore, if conscious masturbation is wrong, even through ‘involuntary,’ I can’t see how ‘nocturnal emissions’ are any better.
As I was preparing to answer this, I read a few passages that talked about lust… While it is the opinion of most that to lust after somebody means to… well, we all know what this is about… but when Jesus speaks about lusting after a woman (…looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery), I was given the distinct impression that he was more or less talking about wishing to take possession of somebody else’s wife, not some poor hormonally charged kid getting his fancies on the internet.
Where things turn south, I think, is when it becomes a habit to the point that it’s interfering with the rest of your life, though few people actually get to that level. I think it’s a very natural thing that’s always been around, LONG before the internet and the big deal that people make about it doesn’t serve to do anything but confuse people and interfere with their natural sexual development.
Though it should have little baring on my opinion, I’m 20… in that twenty years, I’ve experienced many traumatic conflicts because of faith to the point that I almost abandoned it… (I’m still not completely out of that water… but that’s beside the point, I think.) This was one of those things. I got to the point of crying in the floor and promising God I’d never do it again. After many failed attempts and more crying, I got tired of feeling guilty and came to the conclusion that God wasn’t sitting up there waiting to punish me and millions of other teenagers for something as mundane (yes, MUNDANE) as masturbation and I still think that’s true. I don’t think it’s a sin and I don’t think it’s wrong or harmful (normally) and that is my stance.
On a side note, a chemical is actually released in the brain upon climax that serves to let you know it’s time to stop. This often creates sensations of guilt in people that are predisposed to those feelings.
Hi Adam. I’d love to hear your take on my new post dealing with some of the nuances of this topic. It’s called, “Can you masturbate without lusting?“
No Adam, teaching kids,(or adults for that matter) that it’s OK to engage in any kind of sexual activity outside of matrimony is what should make you ‘sick”! it should ALSO make you sick that public schools are passing out condoms to GRADE SCHOOLERS and teaching them deviant lifestyles and activities are also “OK” for crying out loud, all done in the name of PC nonsense and a humanist, nihilistic worldview! Where is the scientific evidence that masturbation is a “normal” bodily function??
God made man in his likeness and Image and since God is spirit it means man too has a spiritual side and the spiritual controls the physical so you can overcome masturbation which most often associated with lust.A true Christain is one who knows even though he lives in the world he is not of the world because he has a spiritual origin.calling it a drive is one thing but for the fact that if is not like oxygen means it can be if not God would have made it verry premordial.One of the greatest drives in man is sex will you advise people to be slaves to it because its a biological drive?so masturbation which is almost always linked to lust should be stopped.It can be stopped through effective and fervent prayer.Read 2corinthians 10:4(masturbation can be a strong hold).Christ death and ressurection gave us power over are sin.I called maturbation a sin because it always has a link with lost n Jesus said in the bible thinking about some one sexually in your mine is already fornication or adultery depending on the thinker.Behold he gave us authority to trample on the serpent and dragons etc and to overcome the forces of darkness.God bless you and give an understanding of him as you read this.