My war with pornography started when I was in junior high. It snuck into my world through a school project. Once I got a taste of it, my curiosity ignited and I explored my discovery. Curiosity turned into pleasure, then addiction. I quickly found myself going further than I ever thought I would. Fortunately, my father helped me out of it, only for me to fall back in again later. This process repeated a year later before I went to high school. I wrestled with porn for several years without my parents knowing.
Eventually, I realized that my mom and dad weren’t always going to be around to keep me accountable. I had to stop it myself before it consumed me. I’ve heard stories of old men in the church looking at porn while hiding it from their wives. I didn’t want to end up like that. I also know that the porn industry and sex trafficking movements go hand in hand. I’m tired of catering to pornography by viewing it and giving it my time. It doesn’t deserve my attention. It’s wrong, disgusting, and unrealistic. Another reason I grew tired of my addiction was because it made me feel hopeless and disconnected from God.
Eliminating Porn One Day at a Time
It almost seemed like the choice had already been made for me. I hated that with all my being. I looked at porn daily, asked for forgiveness, and did the same thing again, and again, and again. Porn had to go. I didn’t really know how to eradicate it from my life, since I’d struggled with it for so long. The longest I’d gone without it was possibly a week. With this in mind, I decided to try something else. I began to slowly eliminate porn from my schedule. I could look at it any day of the week, except for Monday. The next week, it was Monday and Tuesday. I continued this until I was going weeks without viewing pornographic content.
The forest fire was put out, but I still had to stomp out the embers. I continued to fight and struggle. Sometimes it would flare back up again and I’d deal with it for a week or two. Pornography is a monster that just won’t go down, no matter how many times you try to fight it. You can’t defeat it by yourself; you must have accountability partners and boundaries. Eventually, after years of this addiction, my father recommended Covenant Eyes. I use it and it’s kept me clean for months.
The Best Time of My Life
The weeks without pornography have been the best of my life. Not only does it make me feel better and clean, but it strengthens my relationship with Jesus. Porn is a wedge that Satan uses to drive between young Christian men and God. Take away the wedge, and the intimacy returns. My faith has been emboldened by porn’s absence in my life and left me with more trust. Now, I am no longer a hypocrite when I keep my friends accountable. I can speak with certainty and relief that I am free from pornography.
Another major victory for me is that temptations have decreased drastically. I no longer suffer from the insatiable desire to look at porn. Of course, I still struggle with it on occasion, but it doesn’t rule over me anymore. It doesn’t dominate my life. I have overcome pornography because of the people and resources around me, and Jesus Christ. I view women differently now. Sexual thoughts and temptations don’t plague my mind all the time. I dwell on cleanliness, accountability, and the ways I can fight the porn industry. These victories have empowered me to lead a life of abstinence from porn, something I previously thought was impossible.
Defeating the Enemy
Covenant Eyes and personal accountability have been a part of my journey in many ways. First, I see Covenant Eyes as a boundary—an umbrella of security. I don’t rely on this alone for protection from porn, but it strengthens my position against it. I can’t access pornography with a few clicks now, thanks to Covenant Eyes.
There’s no going back to porn for me; I’m done with it. Accountability also comprises a large portion of my journey. People throughout my life have helped me and encouraged me in my walk. The first person I told about my struggle was my best friend. He is no longer around to keep me responsible, so I must turn to other people and resources. If I did not have accountability with others, I would still be trapped in the clutches of pornography. It’s a dirty, dark, nasty place that I will never return to. Covenant Eyes and the people in my life are blessings from God.
In conclusion, I’ve defeated porn and kept it from reentering my life through the resources and people Jesus has supplied me with. Covenant Eyes plays a big part in my daily life, and I’m deeply grateful for its services. Most importantly, though, I am eternally indebted to Jesus Christ.