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“Don’t touch. Don’t taste. Don’t handle”. We hear these three “rules” often when learning how to fight—and overcome—lust. The problem is, mere rule-keeping does not itself get to the heart of lust. This is one of the great lessons Paul teaches in Scripture. Merely knowing the law only aggravates our lusts (Romans…
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What drives you to porn? What are the specific triggers that cause you to crave it? There may be a number of triggers. You’re hungry. You’re anrgy. You had a bad day at work. You’re feeling rejected. Or, simply, you’re bored. That last one is huge! One survey of a…
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What in the world would make a fish go after a worm on a hook? Perhaps it’s because he’s just a total idiot. Or he’s a disgusting gluttonous pig who can’t control his desires. Maybe it’s because he’s evil. Possibly it’s because he’s worthless and doesn’t even deserve to live at all.…
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Whether I care to admit it or not, porn is a big part of my life. It seems shameful, but that’s the reality I live in, for better or worse. I have learned many lessons through porn use and recovery, sure, but often at great cost. The Lesson of Integrity…
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At first glance, the question, “Can you masturbate without lusting?” might seem odd. Same with the question, “Is masturbation without porn a sin?” For those who feel no guilt or shame about the matter, the question sounds ridiculous. For those who are utterly opposed to all masturbation, regardless of the…
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It is often a problem, especially among men, that we don’t intentionally seek out good friendships. Often we don’t seek out wise counsel unless we are seeking “expert” advice. It is easier to stay on the surface with our so-called friends, and as such they are not friends who help…
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Numerous Christian men I’ve counseled have shared how their Christian wives read romance novels and watch movies and shows that contain nudity in front of them, even asking them to watch with them. Ironically, these men are trying their hardest to remain sexually pure for their wives, while their wives…
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You probably recognize that accountability is a powerful tool for behavior change. The business world, the self-help world, and the porn-recovery world all acknowledge the vital importance of accountability. But it can be much more than this, especially for followers of Jesus. I believe accountability is a foundational part…
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Discovering the sexual betrayal of a spouse is one of the most traumatic experiences anyone can suffer. There are so few people with whom the wounded spouse can confide. Imagine this devastated individual mustering the courage to share the story with a close friend or family member only to receive…
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What CS Lewis wrote on lust in The Great Divorce
