Many men and women struggle nowadays with addiction to pornography. Almost all were exposed at a young age through no fault of their own and now seek liberation from pornography addiction. I was one of these men, exposed at a young age and taken advantage of by our pornographic culture as an adolescent. I became addicted. Later in my teenage years, I began to pray for liberation, and through the grace of God, it came. Through prayer, personal accountability, and the Covenant Eyes software, I found freedom from pornography.
Before I began to pray to God for liberation from this weakness of mine, I was not living with integrity on my technology. I was living a lie and hiding everything on my device from others. To live with integrity on technology, you must hold yourself accountable to your neighbor. God always sees our faults, yet he does not always punish us immediately. He uses our neighbors to orchestrate his love and correct us for our faults. When every aspect of our lives is visible to good men, the possibility of us being reprimanded by them helps to keep us in check. Living with integrity means to be an “open book”—to lay your life open for all to see.
Admitting I was addicted to pornography took a long time, but accepting that I needed to live with integrity on my technology took even longer. I needed help from someone who would monitor me and block those things that were harmful to me. When I began to pray to God for liberation, I sought out ways to be accountable to other men. Throughout my addiction and my road to freedom, I had many struggles. My first struggle was admitting I had a problem. After admitting this, I was able to shift my focus to getting help. This is often the hardest step for a man. Once I sought help and began my journey, I had many setbacks. Many times, I did not want to get up and try again. I wanted to stay in the mire of sin because it was the easy thing to do. I lost heart many times. I continued to pray and beg God’s mercy for my sins. After a fall, I would go to confession and resolve to try again. Eventually, I was led through my rough journey to victory.
I have experienced many victories, even in my bumpy journey. I began to see women in a whole new light. I befriended girls my age and enjoyed going to dances more and socializing with them. The feeling of shame or awkwardness I so often felt when being around women melted away. I prayed more and even found God’s calling for me in my life. I was able to focus on my studies better and found myself acting kinder to family and friends. Through liberation, I have been able to have a more intimate relationship with God and my family and friends.
This would not have been possible without prayers, accountability, and Covenant Eyes. Through Covenant Eyes, I found the lasting freedom I was looking for. I had been praying for a long time to win this fight against pornography, and one day I was introduced to Strive 21, which is a program from Covenant Eyes. After taking Strive 21, I decided to start a Covenant Eyes membership. It motivated me to stay away from pornography, and it worked to block it and report suspicious activity. Although freedom was not instantaneous, I saw lasting results from my sobriety. Eventually, I got myself two good allies and continued to pray for freedom. I found peace in knowing that my allies were holding me accountable and still had my back. Through God’s grace, personal accountability, and Covenant Eyes software, I found that lasting freedom that I had been praying for. Although my journey was filled with victories and struggles, I have found lasting freedom from pornography. By realizing I had a problem, I was able to reach out to family and friends, and most importantly, to God through prayer. By not being afraid of my past, I was able to hold myself accountable to other men and openly explain my situation. Through Covenant Eyes and my allies, I have been able to accomplish technological integrity. No doubt, this was all orchestrated by almighty God. My hope for anyone reading this is to understand that freedom is possible. Though the journey may have many failures on your part, if you continue to come back to God, he will never abandon you and will grant you liberation.
