I had never had capabilities on any device (to my knowledge) to look up pornography until I was 16 years old, when my parents, younger brother, and I moved to the Middle East. Because of the international school I went to, I needed a laptop. I found ways to download apps aside from Safari that would grant me access to many tremendously explicit movies and clips. I fell very deep into this sin. Yet, God reached out to my heart as powerfully as He did when I first accepted Him and said, “Why are you doing this?” By God’s grace, He set me free from pornography.
Have I never struggled again? I have.
But God has set me on a path where compelled by God’s love (2 Corinthians 5:14), I will stand up strong in the strength of HIS might (Ephesians 6:10). My father installed Covenant Eyes on our computers from the first time we had phones. The network monitoring this has provided has been an almost seamless blocker of pornography. Thankfully, the Covenant Eyes screen monitoring update was added shortly after I delved deeper into pornography. When I moved back to the United States and began university, Covenant Eyes and the Lord’s providence led me away from pornography. I have several Screen Accountability partners who can see all my screen activity. I love these men. They are my close friends, and I not only want to set an example for them and avoid the shame involved otherwise, but I want to glorify God and be compelled by His love to flee temptations.
Learning About Lust
I grew up in a family of five brothers, all close in age. Lustful temptation was a topic discussed a lot (and still is). There is a story my father has told me many times.
“Son, my own father did not give me any attention when I was your age. When I went into high school, he had a grace awakening. God completely changed his heart. The results of this change were more than I could ever imagine. He spent such a large amount of time with me and the rest of my siblings that we were astounded by his love for us. I did not want to let my father down. I did not want to break his heart. Anytime I thought of sinning lustfully, I’d think about how it would tear my father’s heart apart. Furthermore, his loving compassion and forgiveness afterward were a seal of this wonderful love God gave him for us. When you sin, it breaks the Father’s heart. Instead, run into His loving arms when you are tempted. However, do not think that He will not forgive you or will resent you for sinning afterward. He is so much more gracious and kind than we could ever imagine, son. Meditate on John 1:9.”
God’s Compelling Love
Everything is given to us on the internet and it’s given fast. There are increasingly more ways to dodge accountability. I’m thankful I know nothing about coding or VPN access! As humans, we are crafty and sinful. The raging desire Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 7 is tangible. With all the access, how are we to live in accountability and honesty? I think the answer lies within 2 Corinthians 5:14-15: “For the love of Christ controls us because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised” (emphasis added).
“Today’s technology” might have nuances, but it is still an old, old sin. King Solomon assures us of this in Ecclesiastes 1:9: “There is nothing new under the sun.” There are countless barriers and walls we can put up today, yes, even given to us by God! However, the root of the problem remains the same. Yet, on a far greater, more wonderful level, the solution is also the same. In that great conjunction, perhaps the greatest conjunction in all of Scripture, Paul says, “But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace, you have been saved” (Ephesians 2:4-5). God’s Word is such a treasure! I firmly hold to the truth that, if we search the scriptures day and night and meditate on His Word in humble submission to God, we will be transformed more and more to the point to which we might say, “I am so compelled by my love for God that I would not dare fall into the sin that would try to take away my relationship with my wife, children, and God.”
The Biblical Pattern
In scripture, we see 2 Timothy 2:22 lay out such a wonderful pattern for us! This verse is what I would encourage Covenant Eyes to put on the front page, as a bold statement of the astounding pattern God has set for humanity regarding holding one another accountable! It starts as a command: “Flee.” Following this are several virtues we are supposed to pursue “alongside those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” This is how I see Covenant Eyes lay magnificent groundwork for this type of accountability described in 2 Timothy 2:22. The option to have “allies” is perfect. This allows for others who are also seeking purity to band together and hold one another to the convictions all have collectively. Some might struggle differently, but we are all a part of the body of Christ. 1 Corinthians 12:26 beautifully says, “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.”
