One of the biggest lies I told to myself while in adult chat rooms was that I was not really cheating because I was not actually physically with the women. No matter how many times I told myself that story, it didn’t change the fact it’s nothing but a lie. In my case, it opened the door to an online affair that lasted more than a year. An affair of this type is different than a physical affair, but can still create an emotional bond. The wound that we create in our spouse when we let someone else into that … Continue reading →
As a millennial, I understand the appeal of the text message. It’s easy, convenient, non-threatening, and can be ignored. I have texted guys to suggest a hang-out when I hadn’t heard from them in a while; I have received tweets, texts, and e-mails from men for last-minute “dates” that never seemed to work out the way they did in my head. I’ve had a texter vanish into thin air, leaving me (embarrassingly) devastated. Many of the men and women I hear from feel wrecked by similar text-based relationships and confused when they end. Part of the problem is what I … Continue reading →
Neuroscience now knows that willpower is a function of the prefrontal lobes of the brain. Scientific studies have also confirmed that using porn over and over actually reshapes these areas of the brain, literally eroding our willpower and our moral compass. Neuroscientists call it hypofrontality. Hypofrontality is a state in which there is decreased blood flow to the prefrontal lobes of the brain. Hypofrontality is observed in schizophrenia patients, and is also observed in all manner of addictions. What is Hypofrontality? In his book, The Porn Circuit, Sam Black explains what hypofrontality is for the porn viewer. “Compulsiveness is a good descriptor of hypofrontality. Many porn … Continue reading →
When it comes to pornography, what biblical principles best prepare our kids to understand why it is wrong? I recently spoke to Dr. David Currie about this very question. He referred me to four primary Scriptures: Matthew 5:27-28, 1 Corinthians 6:12, Hebrews 13:4, and Ephesians 5:3.
90 days of no sex. This is what several porn addiction counselors prescribe for addicts and their spouses during the initial months of recovery. Why is this? Is this really necessary? Dr. Mark Laaser, a nationally recognized author in the field of sex addiction, requires his patients to sign a 90-day abstinence contract: no masturbation, no porn, not even sex with your spouse. Sam Black, in his book The Porn Circuit, explains Dr. Laaser’s rationale: First of all, he says, a person needs to learn that they won’t die without sex, especially for 90 days. But more importantly, the person … Continue reading →