Most of us know accountability is important, so why don’t we better utilize it? Here are four reasons: We don’t know who to trust or who can handle our stuff. You might feel it’s hard to find someone you can trust with your sexual and relational sin baggage. These aren’t conversations you’ve ever had before, so you don’t know how the other person will react. You’ve thought about talking to your pastor, but you don’t know him very well and wonder if he’d really want to talk about this stuff with you. Or you’re in a larger church and you’d … Continue reading →
Here’s an everyday occurance in my office: A woman who is betrayed, wounded, confused and traumatized, seeking to feel safe and stable within her own marriage, tried to set a boundary about porn in her home—hoping to avoid future episodes of betrayal and deception. In response to this attempt, her husband told her, “Stay on your side of the street, work on your own issues, and stop trying to control my recovery.” Feeling defeated and powerless, she raises the question with me, half expecting me to agree with her husband. A look of utter relief crosses her face, when I … Continue reading →
I’m the oldest of seven children, which means that I don’t have a childhood memory that doesn’t include a van. I wasn’t even three years old and we were already a family of five, which meant that going anywhere was a feat in managing chaos and not losing any humans. But, starting when I was in third grade, and almost every year until well into high school, my parents planned some kind of family trip over spring break. In hindsight, we probably couldn’t afford it, but they saved and made sure we had an amazing time. Decades later, I have significant … Continue reading →
Is There a Right Amount of Screen Time for Kids? Determining the right number of hours for a child to use a digital screen is tough. Parents often ask me, “What’s the right amount of screen time for my child?” I admit that it would be so much easier to parent in the digital age if there was an age and hours chart that I could just point to and say, “This is what the experts say! There’s no arguing!” But, we all know that it’s not that easy. In fact, it’s quite complicated. In my own home, we have … Continue reading →
Why do we put off what we know we need to do, even when we know it is something very important? In my experience most parents know that modern day pornography is more dangerous than ever and that they need to regularly talk with their kids about it. However, my experience also demonstrates that a lot of parents put off these conversations until they discover their child has started viewing pornography. We do this because we are afraid. I remember that fear! I remember how hard it was to move from knowing I needed to talk to my children, to … Continue reading →