Many people who struggle with pornography also struggle with anger. What’s the connection?
The first thing to understand is that anger itself is not a sin. The Bible recognizes that, in itself, anger is just an emotion. It isn’t inherently good or bad. We know this because there are numerous places where Jesus himself became angry (Mark 3:5, John 11:33), and Paul commends the Corinthian church for their righteous indignation at sin (2 Corinthians 7:11), and even describes his own as an evidence of his apostleship (2 Corinthians 11:29).
But the sin in a person’s heart may trigger an angry response to a situation or person. Numerous passages warn against sinful anger (e.g. Matthew 5:22, Colossians 3:8, James 1:20). And Ephesians 4:26-27 tells us that angry emotions make a person vulnerable to temptation:
“Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, and don’t give the devil an opportunity.”
In this article, we’ll examine the relationship between porn and anger, both how porn use can lead to anger and how anger can lead to porn.
How Porn Can Lead to Anger
There are at least three major ways that porn consumption can make people angry. Keep in mind, we are looking at the person consuming porn, not those who are angry about someone else’s porn use.
Angry Attitudes Towards Women
Studies show that frequent porn consumption, especially violent or degrading content, is linked to increased aggression in both attitudes and behaviors.
Multiple meta-analyses have found that consuming violent porn is correlated with greater aggression—i.e. anger—toward women. Anecdotally, you often see these attitudes in the comments of young men on porn recovery forums.1
Regular exposure to porn can also desensitize users to the suffering of others, making them more likely to react with frustration or hostility in real-life relationships.
Porn-Induced Frustration and Irritability
Many individuals who struggle with compulsive porn use report heightened irritability and anger, particularly when they try to quit. This goes along with common porn withdrawal symptoms.
This may be due to the brain’s reliance on pornography for dopamine surges—when those surges are removed, withdrawal symptoms such as mood swings, frustration, and anger arise.
Self-Directed Anger and Shame
One thing we often hear from porn users who experience a relapse is how angry they are with themselves. Sex addiction therapist Ella Hutchinson explores the problem of anger and shame:
“Guilt takes over and that’s when the anger really starts to rear its ugly head and it only gets worse… When an addict begins recovery, usually because [they] got caught, the shame [they have] been living with every day usually gets worse before it gets better. That means the anger may get worse.”
You can learn more here about how porn leads to shame.
How Anger Leads to Porn
But it’s not just a one-way street. Not only does porn lead to anger, but anger can likewise lead people back to porn. Counselors and therapists use the acronym “H.A.L.T.” for the various physical and emotional states that can trigger a relapse: hungry, angry, lonely, and tired.
So how does anger trigger a porn relapse? We noted Paul’s statement in Ephesians 4 about anger giving the devil an opportunity. One counselor relates a statement from one of his clients that relates how this can happen:
“I get angry at God because I think he owes me a wife, and I don’t have one. By nine o’clock, the temptation to sexual sin is overwhelming, and I give in.”2
For many who struggle with pornography, it has become an unhealthy coping mechanism for dealing with negative emotions—such as anger. Find out more in our guide to porn triggers.
How to Break the Cycle of Porn and Anger
Simply being aware of the connection between porn and anger is an important step, especially if you’re someone who is caught up in a cycle where one leads to the other.
Recognize where porn is leading to anger.
There are many negative effects of porn, and anger can be one of them. If you’re someone who consumes a lot of pornography, or you’re concerned about someone else’s anger, consider how pornography may be contributing.
Keep in mind, once this pattern is established, cutting out the porn won’t immediately resolve the anger, particularly if you’re dealing with a porn addiction. It can take a long time to recover from habitual porn consumption.
Learn to deal with triggering anger.
For many people, overcoming pornography means getting to the root issues that drive them to porn. And for some this is anger. When we feel anger, it can trigger us to return to unwanted behaviors.
We’ve created a course in the Victory app to help. Check out SEE and HALT Triggers. In this course, you can learn to identify many common triggers to porn use, including anger. It also provides you with effective strategies for avoiding a relapse.
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