So you’re ready to let the cat out of the bag and confess your struggle with pornography? Here are a few approaches: Political Strategy: “Ahhhh… I might have a problem with some things I’ve sort of seen accidentally on the computer and thought you would possibly want to be made aware.” Surprise Attack: “Hey Mom & Dad! I just wanted you to know I’m a porn addict.” Adam’s Approach: “The phone which you gave me, it showed me pornography, and so I watched.” On second thought, maybe you should just keep that tomcat in the sack. No, you know you … Continue reading →
Shame Has No Age Limit Shame affects kids, teens, and adults. I’ll never forget receiving a phone call from a distraught mother who found my website, and called to share the story of her 9-year-old son who had been sexually abused at a sleepover. He was now 11 and a complete emotional and relational mess. Mom finally got him to admit the source of his hurt–the abuse, but he felt so dirty and at fault that he kept this secret for two years. Mom and I talked about counseling solutions, we prayed, and I hung up, crushed at the idea … Continue reading →
As a Betrayal Trauma Recovery coach, I see up close the personal devastation experienced by women who have been in long-term relationships with men struggling with pornography addiction and/or emotional or physical affairs. In the early days following the discovery of addiction or an affair, emotional anguish, mental confusion, and physical symptoms are at an all-time high. And they can remain this way for months or even years. That’s why it’s called betrayal trauma. Few individuals get through it without some lingering side effects, even with qualified help. Addiction and affairs are almost always accompanied by emotional and mental abuse … Continue reading →
When I was a teenager (back when dinosaurs roamed, according to my children), adults seemed to think teenagers were temporarily broken. One famous comedian at the time had a bit about how all teenagers have brain damage. We all probably have stories about things we did as teenagers which we now look back on and say, “What was I thinking?” This tendency for teenagers to do things impulsively does not bode well for modern teens trying to resist the allure of pornography. Being impulsive, while trying to avoid the dangers of pornography, don’t go well together. Research on the Teenage … Continue reading →
When I was a young boy, we did it every Saturday afternoon. My brother and I piled into the back of the neighbor’s pickup truck with his two sons, and off we went. Driving down several unpaved roads in southwest Houston, we would eventually find ourselves speaking to a large clown head at the local fast food burger joint. To protect his identity, I won’t state the clown’s full name. When we pulled in to Jack-in-the-[last name deleted], Jack asked for our order, and we always got the same thing–a Jumbo Jack with cheese and the secret sauce. Yes–the secret … Continue reading →