From Porn to Purity - One Married Couple Shares Their Story

Covenant Eyes Podcast - Episode 21

Covenant Eyes Podcast - Episode 21Today’s podcast is part 1 of our interview with Jeff and Marsha Fisher. Jeff was a pastor and a church planter who was secretly ensnared in pornography addiction and eventually lost his job as a result. In today’s portion of the interview Jeff will briefly share about the day his sins came to light.

His wife, Marsha, will talk about how Jeff’s addiction had been affecting their marriage up to that point, and how she felt the day Jeff lost his job.

Read more about Jeff and Marsha on their website,  PornToPurity.com.

 
icon for podpress  Covenant Eyes Podcast - Episode 21 [12:37m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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Covenant Eyes Office Closed July 3rd and 4th

american-flagThe Covenant Eyes office, including our call center, will be closed tomorrow (July 3rd) and Independence Day (July 4th). We will resume our normal hours of operation next week.

Happy 4th of July!

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Building a “Culture of Confession” in Your Church

matt-chandlerWe often receive questions from pastors about how they might be able to practically address sensitive issues like pornography in their churches. They sincerely desire to have an environment where people feel free to divulge their darkest secrets and find grace.

At the recent Advance 09 conference, Pastor Matt Chandler gave an incredible message to a group of church leaders about “Preaching the Gospel to the De-Churched.” The following is a 6-minute segment of that message about how to create a culture of confession in the church. Matt gives practical, biblically grounded ideas for creating a climate in the church where the foolishness of man is seen under the weight of the cross of Christ.

 
icon for podpress  Matt Chandler - Creating a Culture of Confession [6:17m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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“And Now For the Big Picture” - Chapter Review

The following is a review of Chapter 7 of Why Small Groups? by C.J. Mahaney. This free e-book is available on the Sovereign Grace Ministries online store and is a helpful guide for accountability groups.

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cross-and-churchYou’ve read the stunning stats. You’ve heard the rumblings of the epidemic of pornography now overrunning the church. You’re concerned that the nature of your increasing counseling sessions indicates that the problem has arrived at your church. What do you do? As a shepherd, you want to protect your flock. You want to increase accountability and transparency. You want to provide more counseling. You want the saints at your church to live like saints. So you implement a small group ministry. Great move! But here’s a word of advice. Read and carefully take to heart the admonitions written by Dave Harvey in his chapter, “And Now for the Big Picture.”

As indicated by the title, Dave Harvey looks back over the work of the previous chapters in Why Small Groups? and writes an application conclusion. This chapter is hard hitting. Harvey is very frank about the problems the church is facing, and he does not sugar coat his answers. I liked that. The main point in his chapter flashes in neon red, Christians need to be more committed to the church! He writes “[the] Church can’t be a mere accessory” (94). Read more…

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Our 500th Post - Top 10 Most Read Posts

top-10-againToday is our 500th post on Breaking Free. Looking back over the last year and half of posts, I am thankful for every comment, every connection made, and every person helped. Thanks for reading.

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10. Porn and Pong: Sex in Video Games – I wrote this post after reading about Damon Brown’s new book, Porn and Pong, a book about the rise of “sexy” video games and how they influence our culture.

ce_logo(20070926).eps9. X3Watch and Covenant Eyes - What are the key differences? – I was struck by the number of blog posts I was reading from those who had done comparisons of Covenant Eyes and X3watch. This post was the result of my reading.

teen-computer8. Not Just a Man’s Problem - Women and Porn Addiction – After receiving many requests from women who struggle with pornography temptations online I wanted to gather the best resources I could find. It was a first stab at an uncommon topic.

iphone-pic7. FAQ Friday: “Why doesn’t Covenant Eyes have accountability software for the iPhone?” – I wrote this when we were receiving many, many calls and emails about the demand for a CE application for the iPhone. Since then, we did develop one, and about 100 people are beta testing it.

addict6. Husbands Who Watch Porn (Part 4) - Wives are asking, “What’s wrong with me?” – After reading about several Hollywood husbands who watch porn, it struck me that these sad stories are a living example of why marrying the “dream girl” doesn’t solve the internal drive for pornographic fantasy. Wives, remember your husband’s problem is not about you, your beauty, or your desirability.

5. Are Teens Making Homemade Porn? – I wrote this post after hearing about an Australian TV program that was covering the topic of sexting. I was struck by the sadness of teens who were seeking to mimic what they see in pornography.

shelley_014. Ex-Porn Star Tells the Truth About the Porn Industry – This is a guest post by one of our authors, Shelley Lubben, a former adult film actress who shares an insider’s perspective of the industry. This post was both informative and startling to read.

guglielmucci-23. Pastor Confesses to 16-Year Porn Addiction – I wrote this post after reading the news releases about Michael Guglielmucci, a pastor whose secret life of pornography addiction led to a complex web of lies and deception.

n514029434_23000_74852. Six Reasons Why Guys Like Porn (and how to break free) – This post came out of a long time of meditation and study of Proverbs 7. I couldn’t help but see myself, and my past of porn addiction, in this passage.

frustrated-man1. Husbands Who Watch Porn – Still our #1 viewed post. I hope it continues to bring hope and practical answers to hurting wives.

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Porn on YouTube

bluetubecoverRecently the Media Research Center (MRC), one of the largest media watchdog groups in America, put out an official report about the volume of soft-core pornography on YouTube. Read the Executive Summary and the Full Report on the Culture and Media Institute website. Bear in mind: the report itself is quite explicit in its findings. Reader discretion is advised.

CMI looked at the most popular search results for the word “porn” – yielding 157 videos that each had more than 1 million views. While YouTube blocks actual nudity, there are many videos, images, and words adults would find objectionable.

  • Searching the word “porn” returns more than 330,000 results, many of which are sexually suggestive in their language and themes.
  • Two-thirds of the 157 “porn” videos advertise themselves as being actual pornography.
  • Many videos feature clips from actual porn movies, interviews with porn stars, advertisements for porn sites, and phone sex lines.
  • Profanity is also commonplace in the titles and comments for the videos

The CMI recommends that parents monitor their children when it comes to YouTube, and remember that even seemingly harmless videos and search terms can have bad results.

One way a parent can do these things is by installing a good accountability software option. Encourage open communication in the home about what is seen and heard online. Nurture an at-home culture of accountability, especially when it comes to media. Covenant Eyes Accountability Software does an excellent job scoring not only the videos watched, but also the related items on every single Web page (such as links, comments, and “related videos”).

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Vote on your favorite . . .

top-five-finalists-cmCovenant Eyes recently hosted a “song search,” looking for fresh music from Christian songwriters speaking to the issue of purity.

We’ve heard from the official judges, now let’s hear from you.

Click here to listen to the songs.

Click here to read the stories behind each song.

Help us choose a grand prize winner. Place your vote below. We want to hear how these songs have spoken to you.

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Is This Porn-Addiction Thing for Real?

researchRecently we received a comment from someone who wanted to know if there were any credible peer-reviewed journals that were dealing squarely with the subject of pornography addiction. Because porn addiction is not officially classified in the DSM, we get questions from time to time about how widespread this issue is.

Below is the bulk of my reply . . . Read more…

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How Lust Steals Our Identity

Covenant Eyes Podcast - Episode 20

bill-perkins-11In this bite-size podcast author and speaker Bill Perkins talks about how lust is a form of “identity theft.” When a Christian chooses to give into lust, he is not living out of his new identity in Christ.

Find out how to eliminate the opportunities to lust through tools like Covennat Eyes.

Also learn about what it means to live out of our new identity and break the root of lust in the heart.

 
icon for podpress  Covenant Eyes Podcast - Episode 20 [6:46m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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“I was a 6th grade girl at a small Christian school who was addicted to pornography . . .”

The following is a testimony from Melody, a girl who has known firsthand the plight of pornography addiction and the redeeming power of Jesus.

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I was introduced to pornography by a “friend” in the 6th grade—that’s 10 years ago—and it’s something that has plagued me since that day. Only ’till about 3 months ago did I really even think I would be able to defeat it. Growing in intimacy with the Lord and a desire to be His pure and spotless bride has kept me determined, and Covenant Eyes has kept me accountable. Thank you so much!

So many things that I have found are designed to reach only men with regard to the battle to overcome pornography addiction. However, being a woman, there is a very different cause and approach. Do you have any material focusing on women and pornography? I guess we are just so much more secretive about it. The pressure for women comes from the image that the media projects—that we need to be “sensual” and “knowledgeable.” Naivety and innocence are no longer looked upon as valuable qualities. You get curious and feel so foolish for not understanding the jokes and the innuendos.

I was a 6th grade girl at a small Christian school who was addicted to pornography. I felt like I was so dirty and so weird because it’s only the boys who are supposed to deal with that stuff. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. So now, I’m talking! I’m talking to girls and sharing my testimony. The statistics are telling us that 1 out of 3-4 girls has been molested by the age of 18. How can you be molested—a forced introduction to sexuality—and just turn that off?

Jesus is the Redeemer—not just of our souls, but of our WHOLE LIFE. He has brought me full circle in every mistake I’ve made and given me chances to make the plans of Satan null and void. In places where I have fallen, He has allowed me to keep others from falling. Praise the Lord for His mercy!

Peace and Purity,
Melody

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