The Truth About Accountability (from Pure Life Ministries)
I’m so thankful to the leadership and wisdom of Jeff Colón at Pure Life Ministries. In one of their recent newsletters he published an article on accountability I really appreciated. I recommend reading the whole thing.
Jeff points out four characteristics of biblical accountability:
- “We are responsible if we see someone who is sinning to take the initiative and go to them and confront them in a spirit of gentleness and humility” – Gentle confrontation is a tightrope many of us are not willing to cross, but it is a significant part of what it means to truly love a brother in Christ.
- “The person who is in need of help must be willing to submit himself to the person God has brought into his life” – Accountability partners are not accidental or incidental friends. They are a part of Christ’s body and are therefore the Lord’s agents sent to impart His grace to us. Submission to teachers and mentors is a key and often missing aspect of repentance.
- “We need to come alongside the weaker brother or sister and encourage them to grow in their faith and in their relationship with God” – This is the principle found in Hebrews 10:24-25. This is where holistic accountability comes into play, where we not only target specific behaviors (like lust), but the whole of a person’s life and the state of their heart.
- “Bear in mind that ultimately we are all accountable to God” – While accountability to others is important, we must see our partnerships as dress-rehearsals for the great Day we stand before the judgment seat of Christ. A wise accountability partner knows how to point our hearts God-ward.
Jeff is also the author of the book From Ashes to Beauty, his testimony about how God restored his marriage in the aftermath of sexual sin. You can also listen to our interview with Jeff and his wife Rose about their story.
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As the mother of four boys, I’ve long been concerned about the problem of pornography. Once a child is exposed to it, the images can easily lodge in their hearts and minds like a poisonous barb, leaching toxins.
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We are in the middle of a podcast series featuring Christian psychologist Dr. Larry Crabb. Last week Dr. Crabb spoke about the need we have for Biblical friendships and community that help us to become more like Christ. This week he will talk about the battle against sin that rages inside all of our hearts and how we are meant to “Think Beneath” the surface in our conversations with one another, getting to the root of sin and stiring up holy desire.
Sin is deadly, and unrepentant sin will kill a marriage. Regardless of the sin, whether “big” or “small” (from a human point of view), a spouse’s refusal to repent marks the beginning of the end of the marriage. However, there is hope. Like a cancer, if detected, identified, and treated, the marriage can become stronger than anyone ever imagined. Unfortunately, the remedy may be horrifically unpleasant for everyone involved. Nevertheless, unrepentant sin must be confronted. In the words of Christian author and psychologist, Dr. James Dobson, “love must be tough.”
