Breaking Free

I recently came across this article by Albert Mohler, President of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Here he talks about how pornography works in the male brain, citing the new book by William M. Struthers, Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain. It is an excellent plug for the book, which marries brain chemistry to theology.

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We are fast becoming the pornographic society. Over the course of the last decade, explicitly sexual images have crept into advertising, marketing, and virtually every niche of American life. This ambient pornography is now almost everywhere, from the local shopping mall to prime-time television.

By some estimations the production and sale of explicit pornography now represents the seventh-largest industry in America. New videos and internet pages are produced each week, with the digital revolution bringing a host of new delivery systems. Every new digital platform becomes a marketing opportunity for the pornography industry.

To no one’s surprise, the vast majority of those who consume pornography are males. It is no trade secret that males are highly stimulated by visual images, whether still or video. That is not a new development, as ancient forms of pornography attest. What is new is all about access. Today’s men and boys are not looking at line pictures drawn on cave walls. They have almost instant access to countless forms of pornography in a myriad of forms.

But, even as technology has brought new avenues for the transmission of pornography, modern knowledge also brings a new understanding of how pornography works in the male brain. While this research does nothing to reduce the moral culpability of males who consume pornography, it does help to explain how the habit becomes so addictive. Read more…

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Covenant Eyes Radio – Episode 50

Today’s interview is part of a recent conversation I had with Chad and Sarah Markley. Four years into their marriage, Sarah began an affair with another man. This went on for three years until the truth finally came out.

Determined to preserve their marriage, Chad and Sarah made drastic changes to their lives, and today they will share about some of those changes. Today their happy marriage is an example to many.

Among some of the underlying problems that led to the adultery was their growing use of pornography in the home. Chad and Sarah will talk about the way God set them free from sinful habits and rebuilt their marriage.

Special thanks to Chad for letting us use his song for this podcast, “Sarah’s Song.”

 

 Covenant Eyes Radio - Episode 50 [20:59m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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With the Superbowl upon us, I thought a football post would be fitting. Recently I was speaking with our president, Ron DeHaas, about a talk he gave a couple months ago to a group of guys about the subject of lust and pornography. In preparation for the talk he wanted to use football as an illustration for the guys about defeating Internet temptations.

Unusual illustration, I know. But this was what we came up with: Read more…

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When it comes to overcoming bad habits, choosing a good accountability partner is key.

As the video shows, Mr. Accountability is not the sort of partner we need:

1. Accountability partners are fellow strugglers, not moral giants. They need to be able to sympathize with the struggle, either because they have struggled through it themselves or because they have successfully counseled those who have. Good accountability partners shouldn’t be baffled by weaknesses or see themselves as above the problem.
2. Accountability partners are fellow travelers, not cops. A cop is someone who is just looking over your shoulders for you to screw up. You only interact with a cop when he catches you breaking the law. When accountability partners have a “cop mentality” they only plan on being around to penalize us when we’ve been bad. But a real friend isn’t someone who merely polices your life. A real friend is someone who is willing to get in the vehicle with you, helps you drive in the lines, travels with you in life, in good times and bad, helps you look out for the potholes, helps you read the road signs, helps you get to where you are going.
3. Accountability partners are fellow soldiers, not wimps. As the ancient proverb goes, “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.” Real friends are willing to call us out when we’ve given up on our commitments, willing to confront us without condemning us. They don’t shy away from the hard stuff or become wimps in the face of our faults. They help us fight.

If you are trying to break the habit of looking at Internet pornography, sign up for Covenant Eyes Accountability Software and choose a good accountability partner. Choose someone who is willing to be your fellow struggler, a fellow traveler, and a fellow soldier.

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Covenant Eyes Radio – Episode 49

Today’s podcast is a part of my conversation with counselor Rick Thomas. Today Rick and I are talking about pornography addiction. Reflecting on my personal experience and past struggle with porn, Rick will help us unpack some of the reasons why many people find it easy to use pornography as an escape. He will use the Bible to shed light on the deeper, hidden sins that often drive people towards pornography.

Rick has an MA in Counseling from the Master’s Seminary. He is a fellow with the National Association of Nouthetic Counselors, a fellowship of Christian pastors and laymen who have banded together to promote excellence in biblical counseling. He is also the founder of Counseling Solutions Group. He is also a regular author on our blog.

 

 Covenant Eyes Radio - Episode 49: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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