One of the most helpful explanations I’ve heard about pornography addiction is Dr. Kevin Skinner’s “activation sequence.” In this video I explain what the sequence is and why it is important for those who struggle with porn to create their own “deactivation sequence.” Pick up a copy of Dr. Skinner’s Treating Pornography Addiction.
My story begins with the innocence of youth—on a hot summer day, three boys out riding bikes in the forest behind the barber shop owned by the dad of two of those boys. We were about 12 years old and were more at home exploring on our bikes than doing anything else. While riding on a trail we had not yet explored, we came upon a stack of magazines in the middle of the forest—not just any magazines though; these were magazines with naked girls in them. We were awestruck. We had never seen anything like what was in those magazines; … Continue reading →
Episode 146 Often, accountability partners simply don’t know how to encourage and guide those who struggle with pornography. One of the best ways Christian accountability partners can help each other is to engage around the Word of God. According to research from the Center for Bible Engagement, routine accountability decreases the chances of relapsing into pornography by 31%—especially when the accountability is centered on promises from the Scriptures. Today we are continuing our interview with Dr. Pam Ovwigho of the Center for Bible Engagement to talk about how Bible reading and accountability can go hand-in-hand. Show Notes: 0:50 – The number one predictor … Continue reading →
For many Christian men who struggle with an addiction to sex and pornography, shame has been a powerful force that has kept the struggle hidden. Men attempt in vain to change or control their behavior through their own effort. They suffer from a faulty belief system that tells them that if their struggle were exposed, they would be rejected and alone. For years, they’ve been trying to fix themselves in isolation. Finally, something has changed. Either through confession or exposure, the secret is out. The man now has the opportunity to run from a journey of recovery or to embrace … Continue reading →
One of the groomsmen at a relative’s wedding was also an old college acquaintance of mine. We hadn’t kept in particular contact over the years, but we made sure to set aside a few minutes for as much conversation as was permitted by the dance music blasting over the loudspeakers. We had the usual conversations—oh, what are you up to these days, that sort of thing. Both of us, it turned out, were still single, lived alone, and lived fairly far from our respective jobs. At one point, I mentioned to him I loved my long commute. “I hate being … Continue reading →