Breaking Free Blog

Is YouTube for Kids? Concern About Porn and Other Sexual Content on YouTube

YouTube: it’s the world’s largest video sharing website. A remarkable 48 hours of video are uploaded to YouTube every minute—that’s about 8-years of content uploaded every day. This content is initially unmonitored.

YouTube does have “Community Guidelines” which specifically state: “YouTube is not for pornography or sexually explicit content.” With so many videos being posted, how do they enforce these Guidelines?

Flagging Videos

YouTube users themselves are the first line of defense against inappropriate videos. YouTube.com has enabled users to “flag” videos they deem inappropriate. When you click the “flag” icon, you have the opportunity to indicate why you think the video violates the Community Guidelines.

After you flag a video, YouTube staff review it to see if it fails to conform to the Guidelines. As far as sexual content goes, YouTube stresses,

Most nudity is not allowed, particularly if it is in a sexual context. Generally if a video is intended to be sexually provocative, it is less likely to be acceptable for YouTube. There are exceptions for some educational, documentary, scientific, and artistic content, but only if that is the sole purpose of the video and it is not gratuitously graphic. For example, a documentary on breast cancer would be appropriate, but posting clips out of context from the documentary might not be.

Porn on YouTube

That being said, there are still thousands of provocative videos on YouTube. Some never get flagged. Others, even when flagged, do not technically break the Community Guidelines, so they are allowed to remain on YouTube.

In 2009 the Media Research Center (MRC) examined the volume of softcore pornography on YouTube. They looked at the most popular search results for the word “porn.”

  • Searching the word “porn” returned more than 330,000 results, many of which were sexually suggestive in their language and themes.
  • There were 157 videos with more than one million views each found under this search. Two-thirds of these advertised themselves as being actual pornography.
  • Many videos featured clips from actual porn movies, interviews with porn stars, advertisements for porn sites, and phone sex lines.
  • Profanity was also commonplace in the titles and comments for the videos.

Protect Your Kids Online

Learn more Internet dangers, like pornography, in our new guide, Parenting the Internet Generation: 7 Potential Threats and 7 Habits for Internet Safety. In this guide you will learn not only about pornography, but other online dangers for kids and teens. You will also learn proactive steps you can take to protect your children and your home.

Should I Fire My Accountability Partner?

“He’s so useless, if he had a third hand he would need a third pocket to put it in.”

This is how some Covenant Eyes members feel about their Accountability Partners. As I glance through e-mails and comments from our members, it is clear some don’t feel their Partner is really up to the task.

What do you want from your Accountability Partner?

Of course, some people don’t want a super-vigilant Accountability Partner. Earlier last year I sent out a survey to our blog readers about why they value having the Covenant Eyes Accountability program on their computers and cell phones. I asked our users to give a number rating on a scale of 1 to 10:

  • 1 = “I rarely or never have conversations with my Accountability Partner(s) about my Accountability Report. I just like knowing I’m being watched.”
  • 10 = “I have regular conversations with my Accountability Partner(s), and we often talk about my Accountability Report, even when the report looks good.”

I was surprised by the results. Over half (53%) of the people said 1, 2, or 3. Only 20% said 7, 8, 9, or 10.

It seems, even for our regular readers, the thing many of them value about Internet Accountability is just the knowledge that someone is watching them. They aren’t necessarily looking for a proactive Partner to help keep them in line.

Still there are others who want more. In a recent comment, “Tim” said there are three reasons why his Accountability Partner is falling short:

  1. His Partner does not show due diligence: he doesn’t read each Report and offer some specific comments on each one.
  2. His Partner is not timely: he doesn’t offer feedback until he has multiple Reports and is playing catch-up.
  3. His Partner is not alert to the whole Report: he doesn’t look at the “grey areas” on the Report—not just the Highly Mature sites but others that could be problematic.

Setting Expectations: 7 Tips

Before you fire you Accountability Partner, you may need to have a talk about expectations.

Whether you are disenchanted with your current Accountability Partner or are looking for one for the first time, it is important to set mutual expectations. I suggest using the Covenant Eyes Rating System and the modules on the Accountability Report to do this:

  1. Tell your Partner to how often you think they should get the Accountability Report. They can get your Reports delivered to them once every three days, once a week, or once every two weeks. Tell them which frequency you think is best based on your Internet surfing habits. Your Accountability Partner can change this Report setting on our website.
  2. Tell your Partner which sensitivity level is best for your Accountability Reports. Your Partner can choose a Report Sensitivity Level, giving them a choice about what web ratings they want to see on each Report. Are you only concerned about visiting porn sites? Then the HM (Highly Mature) setting is probably right for your Reports. Are you also concerned about other sites that might provoke lust (lingerie sites, crude humor, video sharing sites, dating sites, etc.)? Then the M (Mature) or MT (Mature Teen) settings might be better. Your Partner can also change this setting on our website.
  3. Tell your Partner to pay close attention to sites with high ratings. Your Partner can get a glance of some of the highest ratings by going to the “High Ratings per Site” module on the Accountability Report. Often page titles will appear, which should give your Partner a better idea about a questionable site. If page titles don’t appear, have your Partner look for questionable words in the web address, if there are any. Your Partner can learn more about how to read the Report here.
  4. Tell your Partner what times of day or night he/she should look out for. If you don’t think you should be online at 1:00 a.m., tell your Partner that. Each time a website is accessed, the time it was accessed will also appear on the Accountability Report. To get a general overview of this, tell you Partner to go to the “Average Hourly Usage” module on the Report. They’ll see a graph showing the times of day in percentages when the Internet was accessed.
  5. Tell your Partner about any “grey areas” he/she should be looking out for. You know where you get into the most trouble. Is it Facebook? Chat sites? Photo sharing? YouTube? Talk to your Partner about those sites and make sure they keep an eye out for them on the Report.
  6. Tell your Partner to ask you about any questionable web searches. On every Report you can choose to see the “Web Searches” module which gives a list of all the highly rated searches you did. Tell your Partner to always pay close attention to this section and ask you specifically about any questionable search.
  7. Tell your Partner how often and under what circumstances you expect them to talk to you about your Report. Do you want to hear from your Partner right after he/she sees the Report? Tell them that. Do you only want them to talk to you after a questionable Report, or even when the Report looks good? Tell them that. When they contact you, do you prefer they drop you an e-mail, call you, or talk to you in person? Tell them that. Setting these expectation will really help them do their job better.

Christian Teens and Pornography: How big is the problem?

Just how widespread is the problem of youth in the church watching pornography today?

Our friends Josh and Jeannie Yates who work in youth ministry at Gingellville Community Church were interviewed about their experience regarding young people and pornography. They also talk at length about why they use Internet accountability software and why they even “prescribe” it to the teens they work with.

This interview is from the creators of Willful Entrapment, an expressive short film about the cost of porn addiction. Make comments about this video on ScratchingTheSurfaceDoc.com. Read More…

You just caught your child looking at porn. What do you do?

My friend Luke Gilkerson with Covenant Eyes interviewed me regarding how to respond to a parent who just caught his/her son in porn.

Luke’s questions are in italics, with my responses underneath:

Start with hope

LG: Let’s say a dad came to see you for advice about his teenage son. He tells you his son has been sneaking out of bed late at night looking at porn on the computer. He’s put filters in place but his son seems to be able to get around them. How might you start advising this father?

The first thing the parent needs to know is that God’s grace is sufficient for this.

The starting point when dealing with personal challenges must be in the hope we have in God. While we may not be able to understand everything that is going on in our lives, we can understand, know, and trust in God’s goodness even in our darkest hours.

I would want to make sure the parents are rooting their hearts and minds in God alone. God is writing His story in their lives. God is in control. God is working His plan.

And most importantly they need to know that God is good. These should be fixed anchor points in their hearts. My first goal would be to make sure the parents are rooted in these truths.

The second thing I would want to do is make sure the parents understand that the real issue is in the kid’s heart, not on his computer. While the parent can use technology to guard the computer, he will need to take another approach to guard the child’s heart.

But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. – James 1:14-15 (ESV)

Sometimes a dad or a mom can have a hard time accepting what they are seeing in their children. While they can understand why other children mess up, it can be hard to receive and accept the truth about their own children.

If a child, like the one you’re asking about, goes to these lengths to get to porn, then you are more than likely talking about what our culture calls an addiction. Paul frames it better by calling it being “caught” in a transgression.

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. – Galatians 6:1 (ESV)

It may be helpful for them to reframe what is happening in their family another way. For example, if you think about an alcoholic or crack addict who was circumventing sound advice and obstacles to drink or use, then it may be easier for the parent to see the depth and severity of the problem.

This kid is not a victim to his culture or to technology. He is premeditating how he can get to porn. He is a user. According to James, porn is in his heart. He is being lured away by evil desires that he fosters in his heart. Read More…

Is the iPad the Real American Idol?

I gave my wife Priscilla an iPad for Christmas this year and life will never be quite the same in the Lohrmann household. Yes, she’s owned (and regularly used) desktops, laptops, cellphones and more over the past decade, but this is different—very different. Allow me to explain.

After plenty of research, we decided to buy the iPad 2 WiFi + 3G version, so she could use it easily on the road. Now, she always has it with her. Whether playing music, reading the Bible (at home or in church), visiting friends, driving my daughter back to college (from central Michigan to Chicago), writing her grocery list or looking for a dinner recipe, she’s discovered the meaning of the popular phrase: “There’s an app for that.”

To say that she really likes her iPad would be a vast understatement—like saying Mount Everest in a tall hill.

At work, a similar transformation is occurring. Since the early days of working with (Michigan) Governor Synder’s transition team in 2010, it was clear that iPads were more than a cool new fad, they were the “new normal” in government. Over the past year, I’ve seen the same trend nationwide with businesses, university students, and more jumping on the bandwagon. In fact, the explosion of tablet PCs (including the Kindle Fire and Droid-enabled versions) is starting to create that paperless office we’ve been talking about for decades—with e-books and helpful applications for just about every possible activity.

Meanwhile, the content being offered to us is changing as well. New applications, websites, videos, music and attractive services from Google, Facebook, Twitter and new startup companies continue to raise expectations and possibilities. The dream of any data on any device at anytime from anywhere is slowly becoming a reality. Read More…

Table Talk – Conversation Starters About Cyberbullying and Cyberbaiting

Using fresh news stories can be a great way for parents to spark discussions with their kids and teens about how to be a good cyber citizen. “Table Talk” is a series on Breaking Free, passing along recent headlines about Internet temptations and dangers. Use the questions provided to get your family thinking about Internet safety and responsibility.

. . . .

Teen Kills Herself After Many Hurtful Facebook Comments

Two day after Christmas, 15-year-old Staten Island student Amanda Diane Cummings jumped in front of a city bus, killing herself. Amanda was reportedly driven over the edge by people who bullied her, both in person and on Facebook.

“Dealing with bullies in school has always been a problem that high school students have had to face,” writes Caitlin Larsen, a junior at Staten Island Technical School. “However, bullying has recently expanded its grip on young people through the use of social networking sites. Unlike the face-to-face bullying that goes on in school, there is no escape from cyberbullying after the last bell of the school day rings.”

Following Amanda’s suicide, a New York Senator, Jeffery Klein, has introduced a bill that would create harsher penalties for cyberbullies, including certain kinds of cyberbullying in current stalking, harassment, and hate crimes laws.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Do you see people treating one another in a mean way over Facebook?
  2. Do you think digital words can hurt, in a way, more than words said face-to-face? Why? Read More…

Young, Dumb, and In Love with Smut: What the young adult generation thinks about porn

Covenant Eyes Radio – Episode 123

Play

Podcast: Download (Duration: 24:40 — 33.9MB)

Today we are speaking with Ron DeHaas, the founder and CEO of Covenant Eyes. Ron has traveled to many college campuses and has learned a lot about the attitudes the young generation has about pornography. Ron speaks with us about these prevailing attitudes and how pornography is destroying relationships. We also talk about the statistics concerning the young adult generation and their beliefs about sexuality.

Music for today’s podcast is “We Are Not” by The Difficulty
Listen to more Covenant Eyes Radio on iTunes.

. . . .

Read more on this subject:

4 Reasons Christian Companies Should Offer Accountability Software to Their Employees

by Rev. Jon Gleason

The company for which I work first became aware of Covenant Eyes some years ago when an associated company hired an apprentice. The leaders of his church were concerned about his computer use, and suggested Covenant Eyes to provide accountability.

This began a relationship which I have come to greatly value. My company has a strong Christian ethic, and eventually offered Covenant Eyes to all employees on a voluntary basis. At first, I was hesitant because it seemed to intrude on my privacy, but I began to see it differently. As my children have grown, I have valued it greatly, and our family uses Covenant Eyes on all our computers.

I have become a strong advocate of accountability software. Companies invest heavily in employees, but even Christian owned/operated companies often do little to help their staff in this area. This is spiritually and financially short-sighted, as pornography and other Internet addictions destroy productivity and health (spiritual, mental, and physical). The impact can be far greater when addiction leads to divorce.

As a husband, father, pastor, and employee, I see four compelling reasons for any Christian man to use Accountability Software like Covenant Eyes:

  1. Prevention
  2. Intervention
  3. Example
  4. Trust Read More…

Bullying Statistics: Fast Facts About Cyberbullying

The American Academy of Pediatrics calls cyberbullying the “most common online risk for all teens.”

Cyberbullying is deliberately using digital media to communicate false, embarrassing, or hostile information about or to another person.

Types of Bullying Online

According to the Internet Safety 101 curriculum, there are many types of cyberbullying:

  • Gossip: Posting or sending cruel gossip to damage a person’s reputation and relationships with friends, family, and acquaintances.
  • Exclusion: Deliberately excluding someone from an online group.
  • Impersonation: Breaking into someone’s e-mail or other online account and sending messages that will cause embarrassment or damage to the person’s reputation and affect his or her relationship with others.
  • Harassment: Repeatedly posting or sending offensive, rude, and insulting messages.
  • Cyberstalking: Posting or sending unwanted or intimidating messages, which may include threats.
  • Flaming: Online fights where scornful and offensive messages are posted on websites, forums, or blogs.
  • Outing and Trickery: Tricking someone into revealing secrets or embarrassing information, which is then shared online.
  • Cyberthreats: Remarks on the Internet threatening or implying violent behavior, displaying suicidal tendencies. Read More…

4 Reasons Accountability is Critical for Singles

By Lisa Eldred

“It is not good for man to be alone.”

If you’re at all familiar with this verse, you’re probably used to hearing it in the context of marriage. Perhaps you’ve heard it in a sermon or during a wedding ceremony.

And if you’re living in prolonged singleness, perhaps every time you hear it, you feel somewhat less-than-sufficient for not having somebody. Or maybe the opposite is true, and you have a sense of smug superiority, and you think to yourself, “Relationships are for other people. Me? I can do it all on my own.”

But this verse is about more than marriage. Nobody, not even those who choose singleness, is ever called to do life alone. Jesus always sent the disciples out in pairs, and Paul always traveled with companions. Or consider James 5:16, which says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed.”

In reality, we singles need to stick together. Those of us who live alone are especially vulnerable to temptation simply because there’s nobody there to walk in on us. So whether our temptations are to watch pornography or to waste our lives on TV or video games or to wallow in bitterness over our lack of relationships, accountability is critical for us to continue growing in Christ.

I was struck by this shortly before Thanksgiving. My pastor was preparing for a sermon on singleness based on 1 Corinthians 7, and he wanted feedback from some of the single members of the church. Personally, my accountability partner (another single Christian woman) has been the single most helpful factor for me over the last year. I’ve become healthier, less bitter, and more motivated to serve. As I reflected over the last year, I identified four reasons why accountability has been critical. Read More…

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