Is the phrase “sexual purity” overused in the church today? Your answer to this question will depend greatly on the church circles in which you run, but the heart of the question is meant to help us reflect on what the phrase “sexual purity” actually means. Purity, by its very…
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Blog Post
Silence: The Sound of Female Sexual Shame
Women now make up 30% of all pornography users. For too long, society has presumed pornography to be an exclusively “man’s issue.”[i] The continued cultural silence for female pornography use has driven many women further into the shadows. Silence intensifies shame and therefore deepens your involvement in the very behavior…
Blog Post
Accountability in Church
Statistics show that as many as 64% of church-going men of all ages and 34% of church-going women ages 18-30 look at porn regularly.1 Unfortunately, accountability is largely absent from the church today. Most Christians are not accountable to their churches or anyone in them. According to Barna, only 5% of Christians in the USA have accountability at their churches.2 Is accountability in the church really that…
Blog Post
Strength Is Found in Numbers: Pastor Noah’s Freedom Story
Continued from Part 2 of Noah’s story… I was hooked on porn as a Bible college student. I fell back into it in the first years of my marriage. I wanted to flee marriage and pursue a life of promiscuity. As I clung to God through failure, his grace carried me through.…
Blog Post
50 Things to Do Instead of Watching Porn
So you’re bored. Porn seems like a good way to fill time, right? Wrong. When you find yourself with nothing to do, it’s easy to turn to porn. Unfortunately, this only leads to false satisfaction and can further addiction. To curb boredom before you’re even feeling it, I want to…
Blog Post
Talking to Your Daughter About Sex and Porn: A Stage-by-Stage Guide
When it comes to discussing sex and pornography, how soon is too soon? It’s a question many parents ask. They don’t want to overexpose their children or be guilty of stirring up temptation in their children’s lives. At the same time, they don’t want to risk missing their cue and…
Blog Post
What Your Sexual Fantasies (Might) Say About You
For too long, the evangelical community has treated sexual fantasies and sexual struggles as something to condemn. Addressing sexual fantasies through the lens of abhorrent behavior intensifies shame and therefore deepens your involvement in the very behavior you wish to stop. There is another approach. It begins by listening to…
Blog Post
Why Your Resolution to Quit Porn Will Fail Miserably (and how to succeed instead)
About 45% of Americans make New Year’s resolutions, and 88% of all resolutions end in failure. Your resolution this year might be to “lose weight,” “get organized,” or “quit smoking.” Regardless, there are good psychological reasons why most New Year’s resolutions, including the resolution to quit porn, fail. And when…
Blog Post
Effects of Porn: What Watching Porn Does to You and Those Around You
What are the effects of watching porn? Are there any? Some have argued it’s a safe way to enjoy guilt-free sex without harmful effects. One author at New York Times expressed this viewpoint: “[P]ornography can certainly have benefits. Counselors sometimes suggest it to help people become comfortable with a particular…
Blog Post
How to Preach About Porn Without Filling Your Email Inbox
Your Church Probably Needs to Talk More About Pornography “Now, I know I’m going to get a lot of emails about this…” It was a joke Noel made often. Noel is the lead teaching pastor at a megachurch in Michigan. As such, he’s the church’s most public face for several…