The Porn Circuit

Parenting the Internet Generation Ebook Cover

Science shows us why porn is highly addictive. Learn how our neurochemistry is easily hijacked by porn to create compulsive behaviors, and discover how the brain can be rewired to escape porn's allure.

10 thoughts on “5 Reasons Guys Watch Porn (besides the naked women)

  1. Some reasons/excuses here I had not been aware of! Men share the core appeal of the female form, but vary in many other ways.

    If it helps, my reasons/excuses were:

    1. They find the female form to be very beautiful, desirable, arousing–but also very enviable. This isn’t mentioned much, but it is true for some men. Women have a sensual beauty that men will never have; a fact that’s hard to live with.
    2. They are curious about—and fascinated by—female anatomy and the physical act of sex.
    3. They long to be found as sexually desirable to women in real life as the females on-screen may appear to be conveying to them (and for many men, not for the sake of pride, but for affirmation/validation and value). The allure and power women have over men through visual appeal and sexuality is /drastically/ underestimated. Starting at puberty, males have testosterone levels 15 times that of women. It’s very frustrating without a means for expression, and the sinful misuse of that frustration is what fuels the pornography industry.
    4. If single, they are frustrated and angry at not having the opportunity to experience sexual and emotional intimacy, while plenty of other people (even decades younger) have and are—or at least appear to be. Refusing to take “no” as an answer, they turn to pornography.

    Other reasons/excuses I’ve heard from other men are:

    1. They have either been—or still feel—rejected by women; including disparaging comments and views made about men.
    2. It is used as an attempt to ‘medicate’ the painful, challenging aspects of life, lack of worth, and failure(s) whether real or perceived.
    3. If married, they may be angry and resentful toward their wife for refusing them sexually. One honest man’s statement from a blog post: “You want to know the true appeal of porn for married men? It shows women who act like they really enjoy having sex with their partners…something that many, many married men desperately want from their wives, but never get.”

    This last line may be hard to accept–and it doesn’t justify sin–but from what I have read on many blog posts/forums, it is a very real, deep, and painful wound men have when refusal of sexual intimacy (read: even /decades/ of refusal) by the wife toward her husband.

    • Damn that is really good commentary Greg. Hard to admit it but you’re absolutely right…so right that it hurts.

    • I’m 24 years old. Single. I had one relationship with a girl in high school, but it lasted a month and she became a Christian (I grew up one) before we could really do anything. I’ve been addicted to porn for about 9-10 years now, and I’ve masturbated at least twice a day for 7 of those years. In high school, it wasn’t about getting off, it was about the illusion of what I was missing out on by not having a girlfriend.

      Once out of high school, I literally felt my stresses from each day being released along with my sperm. It was literally therapeutic when I had no other ways to relieve stress. I hated exercising, sports, and doing all the typical things men did to relieve stress. I loved video games and occasionally reading, and that was my life.

      I’ve been working in retail for 3 years now, and every day the 100 or so girls I work with remind me of how lonely I am. I am not a handsome man. I have acne scars, and what woman wants to date a man with acne scars? Add to that how many women are either control freaks or too career-focused to be interested, or they’re already in relationships anyway. Regardless of my approach, anything even remotely Alpha Male could be reported as sexual harassment, so I have to be my natural Beta Male. And what woman is interested a man who behaves like a butler?

      I use porn because not only am I looking for that ONE satisfying moment, but also because it’s literally the only form of romantic contact I am allowed to have in modern America. Our culture is so saturated with feminism and sexual harassment, the only “safe” method is letting the women come to us, like a male peacocks strutting his stuff. Recently I bought a gym membership and I’ve built up a lot of muscle, but I’m still lonely. Reading my Bible every day is like climbing a slippery slope in bare feet and hands.

      I’m dead inside thanks to porn. I don’t feel natural emotions like normal people. I laugh at other’s misery and avoid situations that place me in proximity to children. When passing behind women, I hold my arm closest to them across the small of my back like a butler would do–so I don’t accidentally touch their “area”. I’m damaged and scarred from porn, but I keep doing it because I don’t see any way out. The few other men I’ve talked to (all non-Christians) have said not to tell anyone about my problem, because it damages my reputation as a Christian, and the other one said I’ll just lose interest in porn once I get a girl.

      I know that if I read my Bible every day and pray to God for help, it’ll come. But I feel like I’m staring up at the peak of Mt. Everest, it’s all covered with ice and I have to climb it all alone with no one to help me. With Christian culture demonizing people like me and judgement in everyone’s eyes when I ask for help, I’m all alone out here. And then I go back to porn.

    • Did it ever dawn on a man that viewing porn is a turn off and when my husband refused to stop after 30 years of marriage I divorced him. Had he just took the time to learn about my body maybe we could of actually had a relationship but instead he was learning all about his own body and how to be aroused in a “fake way” I detest porn and how it ruined my whole life.

    • I agree with Greg, men use porn for affirmation, validation, value and envy as well, now envy might be a very personal thing to somebody , I think some men maybe when they were younger or maybe as an adult feel that they might even want to have a female body, as I look at porn, maybe it’s not a gender dysphoria , but a sexual thing, I wish I can pure healthy thoughts of sex and intimacy. Im a single guy that has been struggling with this issue of porn since I was in my late teens and now I’m almost 40 and straight as an arrow but still have fetishes .

  2. Thank you the article. I am a bit saddened. I quit watching porn 2 years ago. I don’t need porn I don’t want it but damn recovery is a long road. This ” real intimacy” you speak of is still a mystery.

  3. To the man with the name Frost. Your response broke my heart. I am sorry for the counsel you recieved to hide in shame. I agree we don’t need to tell everyone but we do need to talk to someone. By the grace of God you can win this. Praying for you and hope that somehow you see this message.

  4. “You want to know the true appeal of porn for married men? It shows women who act like they really enjoy having sex with their partners…something that many, many married men desperately want from their wives, but never get.”

    This comment is spot on. It’s become a substitute for the sex I WANT to be having with my wife. When we were dating and first married the sex was great, but now it’s maybe once every 3 or 4 or 5 months. She doesn’t want to, nor does she show any non-sexual intimacy. When it does happen it’s always the same dull routine, unlike it used to be. She doesn’t want to try anything different anymore. It is also over very quickly as it has become painful for her, but she won’t talk to her doctor about it to try to resolve it. She sometimes says it’s because of her blood sugar, but she won’t get serious about controlling her diabetes. It might be different if she actually expressed an interest in me and was actually trying to do something about her issues. I have tried talking to her about it but it just becomes a fight. I don’t know how to talk to anyone else about it, but at least here I can anonymously get it off my chest.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *