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Can God Heal This? An Answer from the Wife of a Porn User

Last Updated: June 10, 2015

Guest Author

Want to write for the Covenant Eyes blog? Share the story of your journey to freedom from pornography. Let us know how you overcame porn or how Covenant Eyes has made a difference in your life or the lives of those you love.

If you have discovered that your husband views pornography, you are probably deeply hurt. Most likely, you are crushed. If you’re like me, you feel hopeless, lost, and worthless.

That’s how I felt three and a half years ago. That was when I discovered my husband of ten years was addicted to pornography. I remember it being just a regular day, taking care of the kids. Then I stumbled upon something on his phone that forever changed my life. I saw a deleted still screen from a pornographic website. I was shocked. I wondered how this could possibly be true. I knew everything about my husband, right? I knew the heart of this man. I was in love with this man! How could he be hiding such a secret?

Can God Heal This? An answer from the wife of a porn user

After I went to my husband and told him what I found, everything made sense. Understanding came to me as I recalled all the late nights he stayed up after everyone fell asleep. It made sense why my husband acted so odd at times. He had been so possessive about his phone and e-mails. He would never let anyone look into anything he did. Our lack of intimacy was a direct result. All things were coming together to explain the man my husband really was inside.

My Husband’s Healing

Over the course of a year my husband started to heal from pornography addiction. We both took courses about this type of sin. We went to a counselor a few times. My husband started reading the Bible and praying for God’s protection daily. He did all he could to restore our marriage and family. It was obvious that he was making extreme progress.

As time went on, I did all the necessary steps as well. I studied the books, did the prayers, and anything else I could think to do. However, the hurt never went away. Sure, I was able to have peace with my husband. I could go through the day pretty well. Yet, when it came right down to the facts, there was deep pain in my heart. It was there all the time. It never went away, no matter what I did. I began to ask…

“How can God heal this?”

During my search for God, I found out that God can heal this. I’d like to show you how God can come into your heart and heal the deep, deep pain that is there. These are the three most essential ways God can heal you.

1. Submit to God’s Will

We can rationalize anything that we want to. I can fight with God all day. But, in the end I must accept His plan. God never desires for someone to sin and hurt someone else. But God does know it will happen. Even when the terrible has happened, God has a plan. He will take your situation and turn it into something beautiful if you will let Him.

I made an active choice to trust God that He knew this would happen in my life. He will use this pain to make something glorious come about. Will you accept God’s will in your life today?

2. Draw Close to God

To overcome the intense hurt in your heart, you must make a daily time with God. It’s the most important time of the day. Whether you pick morning, night, or some time in between, you will heal.

During our time with God, we should talk to Him—cry out to Him! Tell Him about all the hurts you are feeling. He loves you and wants to help you. He desires to comfort you. I have tried every other thing to make myself feel better. Nothing worked. Ever. Only time with God can comfort you.

After talking to God, we should listen to Him. We listen to God by reading His word in the Bible. You can read anywhere you’d like. When I am feeling the most down, I read in the Psalms or Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John). Hearing God speak to me through His word directs my whole life. Can you make an appointment with God each day to draw close to Him?

3. Do Something

Once you have actively started steps one and two, you have to do something. I don’t mean clean the house or exercise. I mean start a fight against the sin that almost destroyed you. This sin is pornography! God has always used righteous anger and to fully heal we must also.

There are many ways that people are fighting pornography. The Covenant Eyes website is just one example of fighting pornography. Some wives start campaigns to have pornography removed from various venues. Many start groups to help men and women stay away from porn. I started a website to help women who are hurting from their husband’s pornography use and unfaithfulness. I write articles, prayers, and encouragement to women who are alone and hurting. It is a community of wives against pornography.

Whatever you decide to do, God will be there. God will come into your ministry and restore lives. Would you be willing to do something to fight pornography?

As time goes on, keep doing these three things. God will begin to heal your hurt. God can heal this! And He will.


Robi Smith is a wife and mother to four wonderful children. She has been married for thirteen years. Robi has a Master of Counseling in Counseling Psychology and is the founder of Hopeful Wife Today as she aims to bring hope and healing to hurting wives from their husband’s pornography use and unfaithfulness. She is continuing to see God’s restoring power every day in her life and in her own marriage.

  • Comments on: Can God Heal This? An Answer from the Wife of a Porn User
    1. Jenn on

      Most guys don’t get better in a year. We’ve been fighting with the awful addiction for over 6 years now, and he’s been in counseling for almost 3. I caught him looking at porn while I was putting our baby to bed last night. It doesn’t heal if he doesn’t stop.

      Reply
      • Kay Bruner on

        I agree with you–a year seems like a long time, but for a lot of guys, it’s not enough time to really conquer the habit. I’ve seen 5 years written about as a benchmark for recovery, which I think is probably a more accurate expectation. I think during that time you should see improvement, though, and hopefully you have. Blessings, Kay

      • Kit on

        He’ll only stop if he wants to. Sometimes consequences for breaking agreed upon boundaries works; sometimes it doesn’t. My husband has been seeing a CSAT for 3 1/2 years and I still hear rationalizations for slips. Its a very difficult road when the man you love feels objectifying women is OK. Best wishes to you and I hope you find peace in your life.

      • Robi Smith on

        Hi Jenn,
        I want to tell you that it took my husband much longer than a year. In fact we still have many difficult times that come up. I meant that he had started healing that first year and he really did grow a lot from where he had been. I’m sorry if that wasn’t that clear in my post. I’m praying for you and your marriage.

    2. Jeanie on

      I have been praying & trying to heal for yrs. My whole life revolves around trying to heal but is hasn’t happened. I was able to forgive the porn for the most part. But his real women types of fantasy, and humiliating me in public by looking at every woman except me…not so much. I was always soooo good to him, and he often fantasized about exes who were literally awful to him,,,cheaters, physical abusers. I don’t understand nor do I want to. He promised me faithful, christian love, the same as I promised him. I made sacrifices always in order to give it my all, and I did. He obviously made no such sacrifices for me, and he certainly didn’t give our marriage his all. I feel robbed of what I should have had. He double crossed me like a common thief in the night. So now I’m supposed to heal & again give my all to the man who has hurt me worst in this world…the man I never expected to be hurt by. If prayer comes before healing than I must be praying wrong because I’m finding no relief from this pain, & I pray ALL the time.

      Reply
      • Kay Bruner on

        I’m so sorry for the pain you’ve experienced in your relationship. I think boundaries are required for healing, along with prayer. We won’t find healing when we’re constantly being retraumatized. You might like to look at our free download, Hope After Porn, where several women talk about the boundaries they put in place during recovery. Here’s another article about boundaries. And you might like the book, Boundaries in Marriage, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Blessings, Kay

      • Robi Smith on

        Hi Jeanie,
        I’m very sorry to hear all the suffering you’re feeling right now. I understand and know this awful path you’re on. It is so very difficult. Words can’t even explain the pain. I do agree with Kay that sometimes we need to have boundaries. I had to talk with my husband about the changes our marriage needed in order to remain together. One thing was that he had to actively work on restoring our marriage and our relationship with God. We did many things like read the Bible and pray together. He also read many wise books for men. I have some more specific strategies on Hopefulwifetoday.com. I also want you to know that all of this took a long time and nothing came easily. I am praying for you.

    3. Bob on

      Hi,
      I’ve struggled with porn addiction for 17 years, and only in the last two have I seen real progress. Only when I gave up struggling and faced the fact that “I” couldn’t beat this addiction, that “it” had me and I gave up, did I start to win. This is when I – finally – let God do what I can’t. The grace of God wins all my battles now and I have victory & joy in my life. I learned my true IDENTITY IN CHRIST, and I’m not a “recovering porn addict”, I’m a saint of Jesus Christ, crucified with Christ and no longer alive. See Galations 2:20. Two resources I’d highly recommend are http://www.MightyManManual.com and google “Exchanged Life Ministry”. The Mighty Man Manual is FABULOUS. Your husband needs this book! It’s made a huge difference in my life! For a list of great videos dealing with this topic also see http://victoryoverdarkness.org/Resources.html
      I pray that you ladies won’t give up on your husbands. God can – and does – work this evil for our good. Please know that even if your husband isn’t looking for porn, it’s looking for him. In ads, pop-ups, searches. . . it will get in his face whether he wants to see it or not. We need to face facts: our culture is drowning in porn. It’s everywhere. Our children & spouses WILL be exposed to porn on a daily basis, shielding them is virtually impossible today. Internet porn is Satan’s nuclear bomb, his crack cocaine. The hope as always is in Christ. I went from 1) being a Sunday only Christian to 2) porn addiction to 3) saint on fire for the Lord. Never would have made it to step 3 without step 2. God turned a curse into a mega blessing. Thank you Jesus!
      Blessings, Bob

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        Hey Bob. We’ve had Jon Snyder (author of Mighty Man Manual) write for us a number of times. He’s got some excellent things to say, for sure.

      • Xavier on

        Hey, Bob, way to go, man! And I love how succinctly you put forth the nub of the problem: “Please know that even if your husband isn’t looking for porn, it’s looking for him.”

        Correct. (As you proceed to elaborate on.) In fact, L-U-S-T, that niggling thorn in the side that spurs one to indulge in pornography, can be both triggered and fed by (and it took me quite a while a few years ago to come up with this exhaustive list – dare ya’ll to find anything I missed; if you do, my name isn’t Xavier D. M. Pasteur!):

        -ogling
        – casual attire
        – swimwear
        – magazines
        – newspapers
        – books
        – TV
        – movies
        – the Internet
        – billboards
        – fliers
        – calendars
        – posters
        – comic books
        – paintings
        – sculptures
        – photographs
        – graffiti
        – songs
        – music videos
        – thoughts
        – language
        – flirting
        – voyeurism
        – modeling
        – naturism

        Yup, our zeitgeist is literally saturated with titillating influences that equally stimulate unholy passions as dull the senses for appreciating true beauty. The electric rush provided by porn runs tandem to the deadened, opiate-induced condition in its users’ deportment.

        Dude, don’t you just get that mixed-message (maybe it’s pheromones) impression from many a guy you interact with? There’s a je ne sais quoi about them that not only their spouses pick up on, isn’t there? Sorta like a repressed, coiled-spring tension about them, coupled with a “certain” distant look of evaluation (of self and others?) in their eyes, eh? (Or maybe I’m just imagining it all – NOT PROJECTING, OK?? I can just hear the snickers – and I ain’t talking no candy bar!)

        Anyway, if it “…get(s) in (your) face whether (you) want to see it or not”, what’s a red-blooded (proudly old-fashioned) male to do? Ah, that’s the subject of a whole new post by Yours Truly, and it has more to do with mindset than mental blinders, but I suspect you guys know all that already. As for you, Bob, you nailed it in your first paragraph. I’m really happy for ya.

      • Xavier on

        (Some editing a posteriori.) That should be “…opiate-induced condition that develops and becomes evident in its users’ deportment”. My apologies, but haste does indeed lay waste many a fine turn of phrase. ):P

      • Robi Smith on

        Hi Bob,
        I am so happy to hear of how much God changed your life! What a blessing. You are completely right that porn is Satan’s tool against husbands. We must actively fight against it. God’s blessings on your new life.

    4. Pam on

      I found out about my husband’s problem over 4 years ago. Since I found out he has never once been even tempted he says. He indulged in this for 15 years of our marriage. He also says I am by far prettier at all times in my life than anyone he has ever seen. I am supposed to trust him that God just took this away from him once he confessed it to me. But I don’t trust one bit that he never was tempted again after or that I always am prettiest as that’s impossible. But I cannot get him to admit this. He is firm that he is telling truth. I hate our marriage.

      Reply
      • Kay Bruner on

        Well, I agree with you that an instantaneous recovery after a 15 year habit seems a bit unusual. Normally we find that recovery is a series of ups and downs that improves over time as the addict keeps working at it and getting healthier. 5 years is the time frame I’ve seen written about, and that seems fairly average to me.

        What interests me most about your comment here is “I hate our marriage”–which sounds to me like there’s more going on here than just a porn problem that theoretically doesn’t exist any more? Maybe there are some things you could work through in couple’s counseling?

        And here’s an article I wrote a while back, about restoring emotional trust in marriage. I don’t know if that will be helpful to you at all, but give it a read and let me know. Blessings, Kay

      • Robi Smith on

        Hi Pam,
        I want to tell you that my husband struggled so much with this same exact thing. He could not openly tell me any struggle that he had. I prayed so much that God would break through this. God brought me to go to my husband and ask him again and again to trust me with his deep struggles. We prayed together a lot about this. And there are still many times that this comes up. I am praying for you that your husband will be honest with you. Will come join us at Hopefulwifetoday.com? I have a lot of articles about trust and rebuilding.

      • debbie on

        I am in the same boat. I found out about my husband porn 7 mths ago and he thinks just because i know now, he is healed. He says a huge weight is lifted of his shoulders, yea and now put on mine! He thinks he is cured overnight! Because he is “cured” he refuses to talk about it. I’m just suppose to acceot he did it and got caught but now its over. Well, guess what it has just begun fir me! He swears he hasnt dine anything since i found out but here lately i will find him watching music videos with sexy HALF naked women. They still have clothes on, thats not porn! I knew it was only a matter of time and he’ll be right back at it! Im done with this pathetic excuse of a marriages of 28 yrs. And yes, its been going on this long. Actually 40 yrs!

      • Kay Bruner on

        Hi Debbie, your story is not unusual at all, unfortunately. I’m so, so sorry.

        It’s pretty normal for a husband to feel relief once the secret is out, and to believe for a time that he’s miraculously cured. Since he’s not willing to discuss anything with you and is watching videos like you’ve seen, I think that’s a clear sign that he’s not in a good place yet. He would need accountability on all devices, a change of habits, and probably a lot of work in groups and therapy if he’s been using porn for 40 years. Here’s an article you could pass long to him, if he’s interested.

        I think you’re going to need to consider your boundaries here, and think about what’s healthy for you. Here’s an article about boundaries for wives. You might also appreciate our free download, Hope After Porn, where several women talk about their experiences in recovery. Boundaries in Marriage is a great book as well.

        I would also encourage you to seek support for yourself. Personal counseling can be a huge help. There are many group opportunities also: Celebrate Recovery, S Anon, xxx Church. I’ve even had clients attend Al Anon and find it helpful, when no other group options were available.

        Blessings, Kay

    5. Ronald on

      Hi Robi,

      We are almost at the year mark of our healing. Everything seem to be going well, our lives seem full of joy as the days go by and it almost feels like the sun was a thing of the past. Until tonight, in short we decided to have the famous V operation done since we feel that we are happy with the hipster we have and we could have more fun when we have sex not worrying about an accident.

      Tonight was the third night I was coming to my wife to have sex since the other two nights were not adequate (headaches and stuff). Eventually she told me she didn’t want none of it and we started talking briefly about what is happening. Things blew up and she told me she does not want sex and she never has and that she still cries after we do. Personally I was aware she was having some issues with my advances about 6 months ago so it was shocking to know she is still feeling this way.

      I find interesting to see marriages take 3, 4, 5 years or more to heal. I just wonder, why if it never heals? We have been married almost 11 years and if there was never any sexual desire why should I expect it will be there one day?

      I know some may think I am being selfish and only thinking of myself but I do think is it right for me to force some one to live the rest of her life with me when she has no phi social desire towards me?

      I know there are other ways to show love other than physical and I am afraid (yes as a male it is a real fear) that God has given me some one that does not really feel anything about me physically and I must look for other ways to fulfill that part of our lives. I know for some may be a “duh” but I don’t know what to do. I have been thinking about it and prayed about it.

      One thought tells me. Find a different way to fulfill your sexual desires (exercise is one).
      Another thought tells me, maybe it is time to move on. It is not worth it making your partner suffer for the rest of her life. Specially since the sexual desire was never there.
      The last thought is, go back to porn. At least that way you were always “happy” and you were never nagging your wife since you were “fulfilling” your needs. That way you can fulfill your needs and fulfill hers by providing for the family and leaving her alone.

      Thought one is the one I am inclined to but is the hardest at the present moment. I know life will go on but man it is hard some times.

      Reply
      • Bob on

        Ronald,
        Couple of thoughts:
        I know how you feel. I have been married 30 years and the last two+ have been with no sex. So I know it’s not easy. I wish women understood how essential sex is to a man, that’s it’s our “love language”. With that said, I urge you not to fall for satan’s lies and look to porn or adultery as a substitute for sex with your wife. Porn/adultery will take you to dark places and destroy you, not to mention your marriage. I urge you to go to the Lord with this. Pray about it to God. He knows you. Pour out your heart to Him. Walk with Him, get into His word. Long for His will to be done in your marriage. And be patient. And pray for your wife.
        Finding the “real issue” with your wife might be helped by getting Christian marriage counselling. Has helped my wife & I a lot over the years. (Don’t bother with non-Christian counselling, they have no clue of the Christian perspective on marriage and are trouble) I know as a man we think we’ll die without sex, but contrary to what our culture tells us, that’s a lie. Is it easy? No. But it’s so worth doing. But there’s no way we’ll do it without walking daily, minute by minute in Christ. Don’t mean to sound “preachy”, I lift you up now in prayer. Please know that God loves you and your wife deeply and longs for both of you to live in His peace and love as a couple.

    6. Robi Smith on

      Hi Ronald,
      I’m really sorry to hear how much you’re hurting lately in your marriage. As a woman, I will just give you my thoughts on what your wife may be going through. It sounds like she is hurting a lot in her heart. She might not be trusting you. There might be something that is deeply upsetting her. One thing that I always ask wives and husbands is: are you praying over your marriage and reading the Bible together every night? It seems like such a little thing but it is the number one thing that connected and restored my marriage. My husband and I use this time to talk about anything that’s in our hearts. We cry out to God for healing and guidance in our marriage. Then, we read the Bible together to hear from God. Would you and your wife be willing to try this? It really can be so wonderful for both of you. I am praying for you and your marriage.

      Reply
    7. Patrick on

      It is dissapointing to hear of your challenges and no doubt frustrating for you as a man in recovery to be in your posiiton. As a fellow former addict, I’d like to challenge a lie that I think may have crept into your belief and that I see as pervasive in our culture and that is that sex is a stand-alone need. You can find lots of support for this idea in both common culture and medical journals. However, I don’t think that’s what God intended sex to be. Rather, it is the pinnacle, the capstone of a deep and loving relationship built on a foundation of love and committement. In my own recovery I have found that the more I take this view of sex, i.e. the outcome of a bunch of non-physical inputs, the better and more deeply my wife and I both enjoy sex. It is more satisfying now than when I was in the midst of my addiction because those time of physical intamacy are not tainted by my own fantasies based on porn. I don’t have a magic bullet for your situation. All I can do is encourage you to show love to your wife in as many ways and as frequently as you can. Hopefully she’ll come to see the physical side of the relationship as intertwined with the emotional and spiritual side and not as a seperate, unrelated activity.

      Reply
      • Xavier on

        Sure, people, emasculate Homo Occidentalis Modernus yet further. Carry on, por favor.

      • Xavier on

        Ya know, folks, I don’t mean to be snarky or what-not in this post, but I’m mad (as a hornet, not a hatter) when I see what’s happening to men in this day and age at the hands of an increasingly liberal society intent on snuffing – in a mistaken yen for “equality” between the sexes and the creation of a metro-sensitive male – whatever still remains of masculinity in our Western civilization.

        Guys, why tacitly encourage women to use sex as a weapon, your deprivation of it akin to a Damocles sword over you in case you misbehave? I can understand Robi giving other women a free pass – although I disagree with that – but et tu, Bob and Patrick? And, Bob, what gives, man? You know, I had a chance to take a cursory look at the MMM and it sounds right on the ball, but hearing you talk makes me doubt if it focuses too narrowly on what it means to be a man, not only in Christ, but in that interpersonal minefield that is public/private/intimate relations with the opposite sex.

        So a dude hurts the wife’s feelings with pornography and she pulls away from sex with him in disgust and self-consciousness. Understandable. Okay, gotta give her some time to overcome both, while the randy cyber-romeo gets his act together again, conjugally speaking. Very well, forgo the “coming together” for a “time, two times, and/or half-a-time”, talking about weeks, maybe (if feathers were that ruffled and fur really flew)… But YEARS???

        People, do take a look at 1 Cor. 7:2-5: “…Since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other EXCEPT PERHAPS BY MUTUAL CONSENT and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

        So why carry on about how “essential sex is to a man”, how it’s our “love language”, or about rewarding her psychological abuse of you by “show(ing) love to (her) in as many ways and as frequently as you can” and hope she’ll come round? (Really, Patrick?) Women like that are doing their husbands, themselves and the relationship a disservice as great as those cads’ use of pornography (seeing as how the wife has authority over her husband’s body and vice versa). As for “Ronald” up there with the weeping willow of a wife he’s got… sorry, but doubting Thomas that I am, I just ain’t buying that story.

        Of course, fellas, if your other half is secretly seeing someone else, that would explain her lack of interest in you and how she can apparently remain abstinent for so long. Then again, she might be engaging in auto-stimulation regularly, much preferring it to a heavy male all over her; and if she owns a vibrator – yikes! – well, why would she prefer the “company” of a real man? (As in a flesh and blood guy? NO MAN can match those rpm!) Or she might simply be frigid, in which case she might be due for some therapy also, don’t you think?

        Whatever the case, a wife who treats her erstwhile beloved husband so lousily is nonetheless a soul crying out for help…for help in rekindling whatever passion, interest and RESPECT she once felt for the man whom she looked in the eye when she said “I do”. Gentlemen – in this life, “men” first, “gentle” second (think about it) – if respect has flown out the window, you’d better see about recapturing it pronto. Serving yourselves to the ladies on a silver platter won’t do it. Being a strong, confident man (strong enough “in Christ who strengthens” to whup that nasty habit you HAD, and confident enough to resume your place as the MAN in the household and in bed with the WOMAN you married) will.

        Moral of the story: sex is a privilege for spouses to use with each other, not a weapon, not a whip, not a reward or a bargaining chip. So stop coddling women who dare employ it thus. Conversely, let’s see more self-respecting fellows who “put away childish things” when they became MEN. Good grief, I went and wrote a whole article on this..! My anger’s gone, though. Hallelujah.

      • Luke Gilkerson on

        No need to apologize for the snark. Unlike some of the folks who frequent our blog with disagreements, you actually invite dialogue, which is refreshing.

        I can’t speak for Robi or Patrick, so I’ll try to respond to your biblical commentary.

        First, let me take a moment to echo a sentiment in your comment I feel is really important. It is easy for both sexes to use sex as a weapon. If we have been hurt by our spouse, it is easy to simply shut down knowing full well this cuts the other person off from intimacy (both physical and emotional). If done out of a heart of revenge, this is clearly to be frowned upon. We should all hope the gospel would transform our hearts enough so forgiveness would be a given in our relationships, but sadly many don’t grasp this.

        The text you mentioned is an interesting one, and as you pointed out, shows how men and women can defraud one another by withholding sex from a spouse. As you also pointed out, the text breathes with the theme of mutuality. If there is temporary sexual fasting in marriage, it should be done by mutual consent. Similarly, sex should also be mutual: my wife cannot rightly withhold intimacy from me, I too must not defraud her by withholding intimacy from her.

        Notice, however, it is not merely sex that is mentioned here but εὔνοια (eunoia), which means benevolence or wholeheartedness or enthusiasm, euphemistically speaking of conjugal intimacy. In classical Greek, this term is about the goodwill a orator tries to develop between himself and his audience in order to build receptivity. It was also used as a medical term in those days to speak of good mental health—translated “beautiful thinking.”

        I bring this up because when a relationship has been damaged emotionally by pornography, many couples find themselves incapable of rendering this kind of benevolent, wholehearted love. They might be able to offer their bodies for sex, but they find it impossible to offer their minds. This isn’t merely the offended spouse. Even the offending spouse is incapable of the same intimacy. Mired in lust, he too must re-learn what it means to make sex into a eunoia act. Because his actions have destroyed trust, he has demolished an atmosphere conducive to receptivity and mutual self-giving. The couple must therefore grow together in this respect.

        All that said, the eventual goal, assuming everything is progressing, is the recreation of marital intimacy once more. We have a number of articles and podcasts on this subject. Counselor Kay Bruner talks about this in a recent podcast for wives, and counselor Ella Hutchinson talks about the mistake many make in advising couples in this situation, pointing to the vital importance of rebuilding intimacy. Julie Sibert writes about how to rebuild a sex life amidst the recovery process. We regularly write about how porn robs a couple of a good sex life. Should trust be re-earned in order to engage in intimacy? Of course. But we should never use our hurts as an excuse to constantly ignore what God tells couples about the importance and value of sex in marriage.

      • Xavier on

        Prof. Gilkerson, you outdo yourself. (Hearty applause.)

        Be assured I learnt a thing or three from your excellent exegesis.

      • Luke Gilkerson on

        Thanks. Much appreciated.

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