10 minute read

Why Your Resolution to Quit Porn Will Fail Miserably (and how to succeed instead)

Last Updated: December 2, 2019

Luke Gilkerson

Luke Gilkerson has a BA in Philosophy and Religious Studies and an MA in Religion. He is the author of Coming Clean: Overcoming Lust Through Biblical Accountability and The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality. Luke and his wife Trisha blog at IntoxicatedOnLife.com

About 45% of Americans make New Year’s resolutions, and 88% of all resolutions end in failure. Your resolution this year might be to “lose weight” or “get organized” or “quit smoking,” but regardless, there are good psychological reasons why most New Year’s resolutions, including the resolution to quit porn, fail. And when you’re resolved to stop something as pleasurable as watching porn, the deck is most certainly stacked against you.

So, how do you set a resolution that sticks? What does behavioral science say, and more importantly, how does the Bible shed light on quitting porn?

1. Start with small, measurable goals

“What a mistake—the whole idea around New Year’s resolutions. People aren’t picking specific behaviors, they’re picking abstractions,” says B.J. Fogg, founder of Tiny Habits.

Dr. Coral Arvon, director of behavioral health and wellness at Pritikin Longevity Center, agrees. She says there is a big difference between making resolutions and changing habits. Setting “small, short-term goals are the most effective and taking resolutions one step at a time is the best way to succeed,” Dr. Arvon says.

Dr. Richard Wiseman tracked 5,000 individuals in their New Year’s resolutions. Only 10% achieved their goals. One of the key things the 10% did to succeed was break their overall goal into a series of steps, focusing on sub-goals that were concrete, measurable, and time-based.

The Bible is replete with such wisdom. Jesus says those who finish well as disciples are those who anticipate the measurable steps along the way. He said, “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’” (Luke 14:28-30). The book of Proverbs also recognizes the wisdom of knowing the day-to-day steps and logical ordering it takes to achieve a goal. “Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house” (Proverbs 24:27).

So, how do you turn “Stop looking at porn” into smaller goals? Isn’t it an all-or-nothing kind of thing? Yes and no. Yes, one of our sub-goals should not be to merely “cut back” our porn viewing or reduce it to some manageable frequency. Merely drinking less deadly poison compared to yesterday is not an admirable goal.

But we can—and should—break our goal down into day-by-day, moment-by-moment steps. More often than not, freedom from pornography is not about being “delivered” from sin in a moment; it is about saying no in the day-to-day choices. The miracle of healing is a process.

  • Write down the places and situations where the temptation to view porn is the strongest and plan an “exit strategy” to flee from those tempting situations over the next three weeks. Plan how you will avoid those situations. Write it down. Plan how you will exit those situations when they arise. Write it down. Why three weeks? Because it’s easier than saying “for the rest of my life.” After three weeks, set a new goal.
  • Write down a list of SUDs—Seemingly Unimportant Decisions—that typically bring you one step closer to viewing porn. Certain activities look benign, but often there is a hidden motive. Is it getting online at night all by yourself? Not going to bed on time? Watching certain channels on TV? Listening to a certain kind of music? Shutting the door to your office or room? Write these activities down and choose that for the next three weeks, you will not do these things.
  • Pick a “fighter verse” that you will memorize and choose to speak aloud the moment a tempting thought enters your mind. Pick a Bible verse (or part of one) that packs a punch for you, one that reminds you of your overall goal, one that reminds you what is at stake, one that reminds you of your commitment. There are many popular ones (Job 31:1; Psalm 101:3; Psalm 119:9-10, 37; Proverbs 7:25-27; Matthew 5:28-29; Romans 6:12; Romans 13:14; 1 Corinthians 6:18; Ephesians 5:3; Philippians 4:8; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; 2 Timothy 2:22; Titus 2:11-13; 1 Peter 2:11). Don’t be ambitious and memorize all of them. Choose just one. Speak it to yourself throughout the day and the moments you notice your thoughts heading the wrong direction. (And if you are thinking this baby-step is somehow beneath you, it is probably a good indication that you need to do it.)

2. Focus on the rewards

According to Peter Kinderman, Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Liverpool, one of the biggest problems with New Year’s resolutions is that people are using a rather arbitrary event—the beginning of a new calendar year—to motivate themselves to be different. “The very fact that we’re using the New Year to spur us to action might indicate that we’re not really able to do the hard work of changing,” he says.

Dr. Wiseman notes that the top 10% who actually achieve their resolutions are those who regularly remind themselves about the benefits. He recommends people create a checklist of how life will be better once they achieve their aim. What will be the reward?

Again, the Bible is filled with the language of reward. How did Moses, who grew up in the palace of Pharaoh with the fleeting pleasures of sin at his fingertips, say no to those pleasures? The book of Hebrews says, “he was looking to the reward” (Hebrews 11:26). Indeed, this is the very nature of real faith. Faith “is the assurance of things hoped for” (11:1)—the anticipation that the life we are promised is real.

When it comes to saying no to lust and pornography, there are tailor-made promises in the Scriptures that hold out to us the blessings of having a sexually pure mind and body. The apostle Peter writes that we can become more like God Himself through His “precious and very great promises” (2 Peter 1:3).

Practically speaking, this means just as we have fed our minds on pornography, we should now feed our minds on God’s hope-filled promises. Just as we have spent hours engrossed in sexual media, we should spend hours filling our imaginations with God’s vision for our lives.

  • If you are sexually pure, you will be living in the will of God for your life (1 Thessalonians 4:3).
  • If you fill your mind with that which is honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy, then God’s peaceful presence will be with you (Philippians 4:8-9).
  • If you are not enslaved to your lusts, you will be freer to serve others in love (Galatians 5:13).
  • If you are sexually pure, your life will be fruitful, and that fruit will be full of goodness, rightness, and truth (Ephesians 5:8-9).
  • If you are sexually pure, your mind will no longer be foggy, your heart will be teachable, and you will be filled with the life of God (Ephesians 4:17-19).
  • If you are sexually pure, your heart will not be enslaved to the worship of sex, which means you can wholeheartedly devote yourself to the true and living God (1 Kings 11:4).
  • If you are sexually pure, you will be more prepared to be a great lover and to enjoy sexual intimacy with your spouse or future spouse (Proverbs 5:18-19).
  • If you are sexually pure, you will keep your marriage bed undefiled (Hebrews 13:4).
  • If you are sexually pure, you will no longer waste time but instead make the most of it (Ephesians 5:16).
  • If you are sexually pure, you will be an honorable person (1 Thessalonians 4:4).
  • If you are a sexually pure, person you will not be enslaved to your passions (1 Corinthians 6:12).

Read and reread these promises. Rewrite all these promises as an “I Want” declaration to yourself:

“I want to be aligned with His will and surrounded by His peaceful presence. I want to master my desires, not being a slave to them. I want to be full of goodness, full of life, full of honor, full of worship, tender-hearted, and clear-minded. I want to make the most of my days. This is God’s vision for my life, and this is his promise to the pure in heart.”

When pornography assaults your senses or when those lustful flashbacks fill your mind, let this vision, and the promises attached to them, be the fuel you use to reject the world’s temptations.

If you want to be rid of porn, a sure-fire way to fail is to get caught in the trap of obsessing over what you are losing—not having your temporary “fix” anymore. Instead, focus on what you are gaining. Each day, prayerfully remind yourself: This is the kind of person I want to become.

3. Establish built-in reminders

Dr. Arvon suggests something simple like, “Set your smartphone calendar to give you positive messages or reminders about your goals a few times per day.” Dr. Wiseman says those who live up to their resolutions tangibly map out their progress, writing down their smaller goals and the benefits they desire.

This is also biblical. Moses established a yearly calendar and scheduled set times for the priests to blow trumpets as reminders to the people (Leviticus 23:24). Joshua had the twelve men from Israel carry stones from the Jordan River to build a memorial as a reminder of crossing the river on dry ground (Joshua 4). Jesus Himself instituted the Lord’s Supper to serve as a visible reminder to the church of His death (1 Corinthians 11:23-26).

It isn’t “unspiritual” to manipulate your physical environment so you can be reminded of your commitments. Do what works for you. Stick Post-It® Notes everywhere. Wear a ring or bracelet. Set alarms or alerts in your phone or on your computer calendar. Or do like what Jason George does: record your voice speaking aloud the promises and blessings listed above in your iPod and listen to it every morning for the next three weeks—and then make the same commitment three weeks later.

4. Be accountable for your goals

Dr. Wiseman says that all those who achieve their resolutions had something else in common: They told their friends and family about their goals. This accomplished two things: it increased the fear of failure and created a network of support.

The same is true in cases of porn addiction. A study from Fuller Theological Seminary found that those who combined both Christian counseling and using Covenant Eyes Accountability software on their computers experienced a 66% drop in relapses, and many participants said they never relapsed.

Accountability is also something the Bible speaks a great deal about. James teaches his readers to confess their sins to one another and pray for each other so they can find healing for their distresses (James 5:16). All throughout the New Testament, the phrase “one another” is repeated over and over, giving the church a picture of the kind of relationships we are meant to have: relationships of encouragement (1 Thes. 4:18), bearing each others’ burdens (Gal. 6:2), admonishment (Rom. 15:14), and love (Rom. 13:8).

Accountability also brings with it the fear of failure or disgrace before others. The Bible also speaks to this:

Another motivator God has given us to keep us from sin is the threat of potential disgrace or shame before other people (Luke 14:9; Rom. 1:24-26; 6:21; 1 Cor. 11:6,14; 14:35). We ought to be aware of how our sins impact other people and our relationships. Paul’s term for this is “walking properly” (Rom. 13:13; 1 Cor. 14:40; 1 Thes. 4:12). It means living in a manner of decency, and having the awareness that our actions impact those around us.

We do not sin in a vacuum. Our sin impacts our families, friends, and communities, and thus it impacts our place in those relationships. (Coming Clean: Overcoming Lust Through Biblical Accountability)

This is why accountability is critical for success, and when it comes to internet pornography, accountability software is a proven tool.

5. Have the right attitude about slips

It is easy to fall prey to the I-might-as-well attitude. If we slip and start watching a little pornography, often we say, “Well, I’ve already sinned. I might as well sin big.” Dr. Wiseman counsels those who are making New Year’s resolutions: “Expect to revert to your old habits from time to time. Treat any failure as a temporary setback rather than a reason to give up altogether.”

This is most certainly true in the area of pornography. In their groundbreaking Conquer Series, Jeremy and Tiana Wiles teach those in sexual bondage: “A relapse does not stop the healing process, but it will have consequences.” This balance is critical. Relapses into sexual sin are genuine setbacks, but neither should they defeat us.

Dr. Mark Laaser writes, “Slip is an acronym for ‘Short Lapse In Progress.’” Yes, it feels good to say that it’s been 88 days since you’ve seen pornography, but when you slip on Day 89 you are not back at square one. Genuine progress was made. Change happened. Don’t let it defeat you. At the same time, Dr. Laaser says, it remains a short lapse “only if the person learns from it, repents, and grows in understanding as a result” (L.I.F.E. Guide for Men, 45).

6. Fight from a new identity

Psychology professor Peter Herman has coined the term “false hope syndrome.” When someone makes a resolution that is completely out of alignment with what they really believe is possible or how they view themselves, this not only leads to failure but a great despondency.

Researchers Anirban Mukhopadhyay and Gita Johar have found that when people believe self-control is something unlimited and dynamic (i.e. “I can stop looking at porn if I put my mind to it”), they are far more likely to stick to their goals. But those who believe self-control is limited (“I can’t help it that I look at porn. I have an addictive personality”) do worse on their resolution goals.

While it is true that the Bible speaks to human limitations because of sin, the Bible also speaks a strong message of God’s power to do the impossible despite our limitations. As Christians we must fight against porn with faith: we must believe we are children of the living God.

Christian counselor Brad Hambrick says that with every struggle in our lives—be it overcoming sinful habits or getting through times of incredible pain—we are always simultaneous sinners, sufferers, and saints.

  • Sinner: Sin is part of our very nature.
  • Sufferer: Our sinful world has caused us harm.
  • Saint: We are children of God.

Yes, as sinners and sufferers we are, in fact, limited in our ability to change. But as saints, we are united to a God who knows no limits, who is not intimidated by our sin or our lack of faith. God’s grace does not just overcome the guilt of sin; it overcomes the grip of sin.

In His grace, God unites us to the Spirit of the risen Christ. His resurrection power now flows in our veins. Knowing this, Paul says: “Consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus” (Romans 6:11). He does not tell us to die to sin (a command), nor does he tell us we are dying to sin (a process), but he says we are dead to sin (a fact). This statement strikes at the heart of who we are. We are no longer defined by our sinful past, our present struggles with sin, our guilt, our shame, or our relationship to this sinful world. We belong to the sinless age to come. This is who we truly are.

If we make a resolution to stop looking at porn, we must do so standing firm in our identity as saints. Each time the temptation comes along, we should resist it, saying to ourselves, “This is not who I am. I am dead to sin. I have been given a spirit of power, love, and self-control. I am united to a Deliverer who is able to do far more abundantly than all I can ask or imagine.”

  • Comments on: Why Your Resolution to Quit Porn Will Fail Miserably (and how to succeed instead)
    1. Jocelyn Sophia on

      People need to remember that when we do something, God sees us. Also we do not want to support people who make pornography. If no one looked at pornography, would people make it? I also want to say, stay strong in urging people to not look at pornography, because what matters is doing what God loves. God supports the people who are mocked for being good and pure. I much rather have the support of God than the passing support of sinning people.

      Reply
      • Bob Pajer on

        Very nicely done. Thank you for the reminder I am not alone in my thinking and behavioral consequences. I am never alone. Its good to remind myself also that our egos have selected sexual acting out as a “primary” block to love. And we have bought into that. Sex is a billion dollar business to help us sustain the idolatry of this. So when we treat this addiction, and your ideas are helpful, except for the “sin” part in my opinion, underlying the addiction is unforgiveness. Forgiveness is the only way to God, here. And there is no order of forgiveness. We can stop looking at pornography, which we should, but because we have elevated it to cover over all of our idols, stopping won’t of and in itself save us. That is why correction is of God. Our purpose here is readiness, God will take the last step. Thank you.

      • Doug on

        I just need to say Thank you to Luke Gilkerson for this article and his real concern for people – keep it up!

      • Luke Gilkerson on

        You’re welcome, Doug! Thanks for the encouragement.

      • tony smith on

        look up Valiant Man by Allan Meyer I followed this

      • Endy on

        I’m greatly touched by this article, pornography and masturbation has been the bane to my spiritual life. If i can quit, I will be more than a saint. I can quit but I lack the courage. Your article has energised me.

      • Luke Gilkerson on

        So good to hear that, Endy!

      • Rod Tucker on

        This reply could really make someone feel guilt (which is sin) as opposed to conviction. Lets us gracious words when we speak to each other about “God seeing us.” He sees us with Loving eyes. I don’t say this to argue, but to promote gracious thought. For example: http://amzn.to/22x79rH

      • Luke Gilkerson on

        I’m not sure I follow your guild vs. conviction distinction. I’m sure it is based mostly on the way you would define the words vs. how I would define them.

      • Mark on

        Thanks so much for your great insight into overcoming the power of pornography. I will bring these ideas to the sexual purity group I attend, hoping to help others and that yes, there can be victory, one day or even one moment at a time.

      • Dave on

        Your article, WHY YOUR RESOLUTION, is very good. Thank you very, very, very, much. I love “God’s grace does not just overcome the guilt. It overcomes the grip.” Sincerely, Dave.

      • Doug Barnett on

        I am one of the thousands of men who love the lord yet have this secret. I have struggled with this sin for over thirty years. There was a time I looked at Porn some 3 to 5 times a day. I have been through times of relapse, but continue to believe that God can still use me despite my flawed being. I am thankful for this forum. I have found the more I shed light upon it the greater it dies within me. Pray for me as I pray for you.

        Love , Doug

      • Chrisropher on

        This article is great although I feel like I’m too weak then because this pornography addiction keeps coming back. I thins I am failing step five, I’m slipping and I’m still sliding. If you know what I mean.

    2. Thomas Brian Carney on

      Luke

      Thank you brother for all that you do.

      I was addicted to pornography and masturbation for over 20 years, but by the power of the Holy Spirit have been free from this addiction almost 19 years.

      God basically performed a miracle in my life and stopped this cold turkey back in 1995.

      Shortly thereafter, He spoke to me and commissioned me to minister to men at our church and outside as well.

      Am cutting to the chase here —- we had a ministry at our church in Fort Worth, Texas called the Men’s SI (Sexual Integrity) Ministry. It took me years of chipping away and prayer to allow the church to let me lead a small group inside the church. For a number of reasons (none of scandal) the ministry was suspended in October of 2011.

      We have tried to get the ministry back in our church. We are a large church, a Bible church, and very conservative, but do not want to admit or help our men with this addiction.

      I have considered going to the local paper to see if they will do a story on the pitfalls of Internet Pornography. I have a wife and 18 year old daughter.

      My question is, it seems to me churches have dropped the ball. They speak of ‘preventative’ things via Scripure, but do nothing for all the current addicts 12 years old on up.

      God commissioned me to
      1. Get ministry started (done)
      2. Small groups (done)
      3. For the church to be more actively
      involved and allow our ministry access
      to the Men’s Ministry which is a large (over
      400 men or more) group of men.

      God bless and keep you sir

      Thomas Brian Carney

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        How can we help you in your mission?

      • Mike Todryk on

        I too had a similar problem 11 yrs ago Thomas. I could not get any traction via the church. I took the ministry outside, secured a location in our low budget,set up a 501c3 and got donations for radio ads. We now see an avg of 30 men ea. Monday night and have seen hundreds of men, and marriages set free.. We recently became affiliated with my (large) home church, and are now endorsed.

      • Ty on

        Might try partnering with this ministry which purposes to launch groups like you are called to do. Blessings, Ty

      • Dave on

        Thomas – in a group of 400 men, its inevitable a number of them are struggling with sexual temptation or sin. A church with leadership unwilling to acknowledge and address this is sticking it’s head in the sand regarding a growing cancer in our society (and our churches). This is a 2014 problem. If your church won’t cooperate, find one that will. You’ll be doing men, Christian or otherwise, and their families a service. I sought such a group at my previous church. Since I didn’t feel comfortable blurting out my specific struggles (somewhat similar to yours) they didn’t get it. I changed churches and now am in a men’s sexual accountability group where we can freely discuss anything, as well as challenge each other to be transparent and pure. It’s been a huge blessing and an opportunity to confront a life of addiction. My hope is God will open the right doors for your ministry. Don’t give up if you’re being led by the Spirit.

      • Gil on

        Thomas, that is really a miracle in your life. I, too, have been addicted, but am now seeing daily miracles in my life leading to sobriety. I, too, have wanted and taken steps in creating a men’s ministry at my church. So, far, I am just starting, and I’m not limiting it to lust or sexual integrity, but keeping it open to all topics that help us live our faith in practice. These topics of lust, porn, and sexual integrity (also theology of body) will surely (I hope) be discussed.

        I will say it’s been challenging so far. I’ve put myself out there and offered to help others dealing with these issues upon referral, sort of like a mentor or accountability partner. So far, not any response, but the key for me is that I was willing and took some action and real step. Beyond that, I have to let go and let God. I constantly am reminding myself that my value doesn’t come from others, but only from God, who has demonstrated that I, and all of us, are invaluable. Otherwise, I have felt discouraged or put-out when I feel like I am going out on a limb and there’s little, if any, response.

        Prayers for you. You are a walking miracle. Your sobriety and willingness to help others in their suffering with addiction and inconsistency are great examples. I hope to follow in your shoes, Sir!

        Gil

      • Landon on

        I don’t mean to butt in,but I commented on your why are so many Christians addicted to porn article and would like to say thank you for this article as well.
        I’ve had a similar problem as a porn addict in that I’ve never felt comfortable opening up to people about my problem because I feel as though I hadn’t received any guidance when I did. I’m 18 and can’t drive due to my eyesight but I would love to be part of an accountability group but my church is small and doesn’t have anything like that. I believe it would be so much easier to open up to someone whose been through it and I feel won’t judge.
        Not to make light of the situation but I may have been a little fiery in my response to the other article but I not only get a blessing from your articles Brother Like but the comments also
        God bless and thank you also Isaiah 54:17 is my fighter verse

      • Doug Barnett on

        Brian, Brother be encouraged. you know that your GREATEST battles come from those within your own household i.e. church home. I come into agreement with you in prayer and solidarity on this hidden corrosive sin. Again, be encouraged.

        Be Blessed
        Doug.

    3. Anna Rodgers on

      My husband and I are new to Covenant Eyes. My husband is addicted to pornography. We are going to go to counseling at our church and when small groups start next Sunday, we are going to go to a LiFE group together. Also, My husband has found some accountability partners who have been through the same thing and they meet and talk. One of them is leading our small group with his wife and another couple. I am hoping to find a small group for wives of porn addicts.

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        Wonderful, Anna! Good to hear your husband has found support. Finding a group for wives can be difficult. If you can’t find anything in your area, consider asking a godly woman in your church to start one, even if it only involves you to start. The main thing right now is to find support for your own recovery.

        If you decide to go this route, I highly recommend the person who starts the group use the video curriculum from Christian counselor Brad Hambrick called True Betrayal. These videos are free and available online. Plus, it comes with a book which Brad’s church will gladly send you for nothing. The videos are filled with great wisdom. If the leader of the group wants a little more training on the matter, she can watch Brad’s video on leading Freedom Groups. There are also some good books that come to mind: Your Sexually Addicted Spouse and When Your Husband Is Addicted to Pornography.

        I hope these resources help!

      • MARLENE H. on

        WHERE IS YOUR CHURCH LOCATED?

      • Doug on

        Anna try also Pure Life Ministries – They minister to wives as well as men. I am not connected with them – but just hope to be of some help. http://www.purelifeministries.org/contact

      • Diana on

        Anna,

        Hopefully you’ll understand what I mean when I say it’s great to hear from another wife on this journey! I just wanted to reach out because when we were first married and I reached out to other women, I was offered, quite literally, no encouragement. I heard a lot of, “Get out now, ” comments. But, somehow, God had a strong hold on my heart without my seeking it, because by His grace I knew in my heart there had to be more, had to be hope in a God that big.

        I have no idea where you are in your journey, but in case you are still early on in your recovery, I will tell you – there IS hope! So much hope. We have known God and found joy and blessings beyond our wildest dreams on this journey. I would never say that addiction itself is a blessing, but to experience the freedom, love, and miracles involved in recovery has been the most incredible blessing in our lives. God is GOOD, and he CAN!

        So, a few things I have learned to be true are:
        -Your husband is capable of incredible things once he believes in his heart that God can heal him.
        -You are stronger than you know because you have the Lord.
        -Secrecy and isolation are the biggest tools of the devil and have no place in our recovery. You can help so many when you embrace your journey instead of being ashamed of it.
        -This is your normal. Counseling, accountability, Covenant Eyes on all devices, addiction, recovery, going to bed at the same time, reading detailed movie reviews before every trip to the theater, whatever it is that has become a part of your every day. It’s your normal. Everyone has their own normal, so never look at yours as less normal or as shameful. It’s your life, your marriage, your normal. Embrace it!

        So encouraged to see more articles like this and more men taking the step to start recovery. And thankful for the resources shared here for wives! Praying for your journey, Anna!

    4. Paul Zunker on

      Hey Luke- You have a tremendous blog going here. Thank you very much for posting the things that you do. I am one of the leaders of a mens purity group at Grace Church in Eden Prairie, MN called For Men Only (FMO). We have about 25-30 guys that come pretty consistently and are quickly growing. Grace Church is more of a “mega church” if you will in suburban Minneapolis, and one of the problems we have found is guys are just not willing to admit that there is a problem. For many of the reasons you listed above, they continue in their addiction. I was one of those guys for over a decade and a couple years ago, God broke those chains in my life. It took some terrible things to get me there, but regardless, it happened and I couldn’t feel free-er. (is that a word?)

      Anyhow, again – THANK YOU for your ministry. My personal blog is http://openrivers.wordpress.com and I would love to have you read my story and give me some suggestions as to how I can use my own blog to reach guys as you are with yours here. May God bless you, your family and your ministry!

      Paul Zunker

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        Hi Paul,

        Glad you stopped by! Hope you can glean some ideas for your own blog here.

        So they come to the group but they don’t admit there is a problem? How does that work? Why are they coming in the first place?

        I’ve been in the same trap of addiction. I didn’t think about sanctification this way until well into my recovery, and I even if I had, it is doubtful I would have listened. I was looking for the magic pill, the epiphany that would set me free. I wasn’t looking for a daily walk of obedience and reliance on the grace of God. I think more men need to be told that. They want the trip from Egypt to the Promised Land to be a one-day journey. They don’t count on it taking their whole life.

        As for your blog, I have one very basic suggestions: write great content. Write about the nitty-gritty stuff of recovery that men need to know. Write to men at all different stages of the process. Write a lot of short, powerful articles that men men every step of the way. Review great books. Draw simple diagrams of what you’ve learned. Fill your blog with amazing information, diced up into many small articles. Become a resource.

      • Gil on

        Wow, that is awesome! Prayers for your ministry and your success in easing this suffering. It is amazing to see these miracles in my life too, as I totally bought in that these things were “normal” as long as one didn’t do “too much” of it – of course, this assumes deadly poison is safe in “reasonable” amounts, and, tellingly, no one is able to state what the “reasonable” amount is. It ALWAYS causes damage to ourselves and all of our relationships — our relationship with God, our spouse, and all others as this sin is so distorting. Love is about giving; lust is about taking. And, as you know, lust kills love. Doing the actions of love through selfless giving, without expecting anything in return, has helped.

        I like the saying that we truly don’t have a “problem” — just a solution we don’t like!

        Truly surrendering everything to God and not just praying that God take it from me has been the key. It’s the difference between rescue and recovery. I have learned when I willingly give Him everything, entrusting it all to His care, and surrendering, that’s where I feel His help. This has required that I surrender every habit, tempting situation or relationship, and have nothing hidden away for me to resort to, is what is necessary.

        I continually remind myself of Jonah, who after being in the whale and close to death, finally prayed:

        “Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace (i.e. God’s help) that could be theirs.
        But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to you.
        What I have promised, I will make good.
        Salvation comes from the Lord.”

        Clinging to worthless idols — for me, I had to realize all the little things I didn’t want to truly give up and burn down to the ground, that I thought would help me manage my feelings. Like a drowning person after a ship is destroyed, I have had to let go of all the debris that looked like it could support me (and didn’t), and jump for God’s life ring and put ALL my faith and reliance on that and nothing else. Bang. That was it. Then, things felt so much easier with His daily help. But I remind myself that I forfeit that help if I cling to anything else. As long as I want to rely on anything else, a true reliance on Him is not possible.

        Thank God that you and others are willing to share their experience in a difficult area. I know it requires a lot of humility. God bless you and strengthen you. The beautiful thing is that in surrendering my most intimate self, I have found true intimacy; and in obedience out of my gratefulness to His mercy, I have found true Freedom.

        Gil

    5. Kelly on

      I am a woman of 43 years… I have this problem…I keep asking God to be delivered of it..): I know I have to make an effort… I do good for awhile and then I get sucked back in…): Im so ashamed.. I cant talk to anyone about it…

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        Hi Kelly,

        Talking about it is a great first step to healing. I recommend you talk to Jessica at Beggar’s Daughter about this. Her ministry is geared toward women just like you.

      • JH on

        You’re not alone. I’m a woman who deals with this, too. In some ways it’s even harder as a woman to talk about it. Isn’t this a man’s problem? But there are lots of female addicts. I had a period of sobriety for several years but am struggling again. I am taking some new steps with better accountability – and Covenant Eyes on my tablet – and a certified sex addictions therapist (You can locate one on http://www.sexhelp.com.) to get myself back on track.

      • Luke Gilkerson on

        Hi JH. It is great that you are finding help. It’s also good to hear you are finding Covenant Eyes helpful!

        Kelly, if you are looking for more resources, our blog has many articles geared toward women. I hope they can point you in a good direction.

      • Paul Coneff on

        I’ve seen many (if not most) Christians living on what I call a cycle of sin-and-forgiveness. They sin. They ask God to forgive them. They sin the same sin again. They ask God to forgive them again…over and over again. Then they begin to lose hope.

        Ask God to reveal the lie from the ‘Father of lie” – the belief system BEHIND your behavior.

        And ask Him to reveal any negative thoughts keeping you from breaking all unhealthy, impure bonding SO you can receive HIS purity, bonding to HIS purity, which is the only power that can overcome impurity.

        After spending over 10,000 hours of praying and counseling with people, I often see them ask God and/or beg God for freedom from their behaviors. As long as we confess our behaviors, we will receive forgiveness for our behaviors. As long as the roots or belief systems driving our behaviors are there, we will continue to have negative emotions or feelings and then we will be tempted to medicate those negative feelings.

        As we bring the fruit (our sinful behaviors) AND the ROOTS of our sinful behaviors (our negative thoughts and lies from the ‘father of lies), we can begin to experience more and more freedom, moving off of the cycle of sin-and-forgiveness that we are so often living on.

        As we begin to ask God how Jesus identifies with us, how He suffered like us (Heb. 2:10, 17-18 etc.) so He could be tempted like us, it begins to connect our wounded hearts to the heart of our Wounded Healer. It is a process that takes place over time, in the context of caring, Christ-centered relationships. And again, bonding to the purity of Jesus is much more holistic than settling for sobriety, even as sobriety is much better than acting out. But sobriety has to be maintained all the time and that is not the same thing as focusing on Jesus victory, Jesus purity, asking God to reveal anything keeping us from receiving His victory and purity. We can count the days of sobriety, or we can count the days of receiving Jesus purity and victory in our bodies, minds and souls. One is focused on us not engaging in sinful behavior. The other is focused on the victory Jesus has already gained for us because He knows that our flesh counts for nothing. He knows that we need more than sincerity. And as we continue praying, His purity will also release more and more of our shame, which is deadly to recovery and restoration and receiving our truest, deepest identities as God’s sons and daughters. Shame in our lives leads us to see ourselves through the sinful things we have done, instead of seeing ourselves through everything Jesus has done for us.

      • Kelly on

        Thank you…Just by some of your information here I have had a better week…I wrote a scripture down and have kept it by my beside and every night I look at and try to meditate on it.. That is my trouble area when I lay down at night. I am gonna go to the suggested links you have given me.. and I know it will always be something I have to continuously be aware of but God is with me…Thank you so much.

    6. MB on

      I have a question about how to block sexual images from google search. I dont have to even click on the image in order to see it, so it doesnt come up in my accountability report. The only answer I have at the minute is to put google on safe search and have my friend enter a password. That has its problems though because the I cant access my google if it asks me for my password , which it does from time to time. Any ideas?

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        This a tricky one. Covenant Eyes doesn’t actually block individual images in a search. The answer really depends on whether you are getting objectionable images based on bad search terms that should be blocked but aren’t, or if you are getting objectionable images coming up as the result of non-explicit search terms. We’ll be able to help you more if you e-mail us and tell us a little more about the problem.

      • Joshua Turner on

        Is this your computer? are they not advertisements or banners? try ad block plus as an addon to chrome.
        Also, if you have auto-fill on, turn it off.

      • Keith on

        You can go to your web browser settings (e.g. Internet Explorer) and change the Safe Search setting to restrict objectionable images from appearing on those searches. Google Chrome has similar settings.

      • Benjamin MacMillan on

        Hi MB, I’ve had a lot of problems with google images in the past. I used to do the safe search route where I got a friend to lock the settings by signing in to their google account but recently, I just decided that it’s not worth it so I actually blocked all of google and now use bing! This did not seem feasible for me at first but I definitely have grown used to it and I enjoy the safety of knowing that I can’t access google images. I also asked them to block bing images/videos and yahoo images/videos. Call Covenant eyes up and they can basically do exactly what you need.

    7. Conni on

      To all you guys who have made the decision to turn your life and heart around to Jesus and not allow Satan to rule you, I commend you and am very proud of your decision, we need more men out in our communities willing and able to step up and be men in the church to the future generations. This addiction is running through our churches and communities like wild fire and needs to be stopped in it’s tracks. I agree with an earlier comment that not many men want to admit they have a problem with porn. Our church had experienced a similar problem when two mid-thirty year old guys came forward admitting to their addiction wanting to start a Men’s Purity group, to find no other men interested in attending. This saddens me because I know that I attend a great church with our pastor addressing porn but no group exists at this time and probably not in the future. Unfortunately, I think our society is becoming more accepting of porn and considers it “the norm”. For the individual who was able to get a group started and now going in his church and now has 25 – 30 men you can count that 25-30 men who want to change and who want to remain pure. Thanks for all you do for the men and women who hate this demon and would like to see it abolished from the face of the earth! I think you men are strong and courageous for your hard work in eliminating it and wanting to “keep up the good fight”, my respect for you all.

      Reply
      • Immanuel on

        Its also a generational issue – most men in the groups I’ve seen are at least in their 40s. The younger generation is being brought up in a post modern culture and essentially taught that the purpose in life (if any) is to sustain one’s own happiness and pleasure, especially when it comes to sex – if it feels good and “works for you”, do it. One needs only to check out Planned Parenthood’s official website to see that. I recently wrote an 11 page paper citing the dangers of porn and the evidence of supernatural
        intervention in the lives of men who were set free from it, along with scientific evidence that the mind can be renewed just as Paul wrote 2, 000 years ago. And the younger “christians” at my church wouldn’t hear any of it.

    8. Jeff on

      Luke,

      I appreciate your blog, and this article in particular. The church needs more resources addressed to those who are convicted about their pornography use and are taking practical steps to stay pure, but who encounter setbacks along the way. Those setbacks can be so discouraging that it’s difficult for someone struggling with pornography to think he can ever find victory or to know what victory really is. For example, if he makes it six months pornography-free but then gives in to temptation one day and goes on an online binge, those six months feel completely lost. Not only does he feel like he’s back at “square one”, but another six months of purity would not encourage him because he knows it ended badly the last time. It’s hard for a recovering addict to measure success except in terms of counting consecutive porn-free days.

      At least, that has been my experience. Even when I’m doing well, pornography feels like an ever-present, shadowy companion. No matter how long it’s been since my last relapse, whenever I see an anti-porn article, it seems directed at me. Unless I’m unusually busy, not a day or hour goes by that I don’t think about pornography for some reason. I know how destructive pornography is to my spiritual and family life, so I can never be comfortable in it. But I’ve also found how hard it is to be comfortable without it. It’s like the U2 song “With or Without You.” Maybe this is part of the suffering associated with our being sinners, sufferers, and saints all at the same time.

      In the meantime, I remind myself to pray daily for deliverance from evil (specifically the evil of lust and pornography) while trusting that Christ has already won the victory over the penalty of sin, He is winning the victory over the power of sin (even when I can’t see it), and one day in Heaven I’ll experience the victory He has won over the presence of sin.

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        Thanks for sharing your story, Jeff. I agree. Somewhere an identity shift must take place. We have to learn to see who we are beyond our addictions, our struggles, our weaknesses, and our past. We have to get to a point where we still take sin seriously but we understand we are not defined by it. We are dead to sin and alive to God.

        At the same time, it is also about using our longing for holiness to focus our attention on the glory that is to come. Instead of just sitting in the shame of sinfulness, we can use our current struggle as a window through which we see what Paul talks about in Romans 8: “For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved” (v.22-24a).

        We are still in the presence of sin, but we are not under its power. We long for the day when the presence of sin will be gone.

        Hope in the gospel, Jeff (as you are already doing). I pray I can do the same in the midst of all my struggles.

      • andrew on

        i am just starting the battle against pornography thank you for your inspirational testimony it gives me hope that i too can beat this addiction

    9. Doug on

      The problem is that many people if not most simply disbelieve what the Bible says about creation, Jesus, and sexuality. It is hard when you are being ridiculed and scoffed at for your beliefs. And that’s not all – Evangelical Christianity seems to be rapidly declining and people are becoming more hostile toward traditional Christian values – especially concerning sexuality. In fact, many outspoken atheist professors are accusing Christians of child abuse for teaching the Bible to their families.

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        Unbelief is at the root of much of this, yes. In a world that has gone sexually insane, it is important for Christians to stand firm in what they say they believe.

    10. Paul Coneff on

      As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I see a lot of pornography addicts… I ask the Lord reveal any negative thoughts keeping the man from RECEIVING the PURITY of JESUS….so the focus is on Jesus having the purity, instead of the man trying to do what he is already unable to do in his own strength. Jesus said our flesh counts for nothing. Jesus also said that what is impossible for us is more than possible for God. As I continue praying with the men and discipleship them so that there is not only a cleansing of the negative, impure thoughts leading to the impurity of pornography, and asking Jesus to replace it with HIS PURITY, (along with support from others etc.), I find that they begin experiencing more and more freedom. I have one story in a book being published later this spring with a man’s story, sharing how he gained freedom from a 20 year addiction to pornography. It is a PROCESS. There is no quick fix. And focusing on Jesus breaking the sexual bonds created by the impure thoughts and behaviors, combined with receiving the purity of Jesus makes a huge difference in this battle, including having the man receive his truest, deepest, masculine identity in Christ.

      I appreciate this article offering so many options and to take healthy steps to freedom and I really like the summary of us being sinners, sufferers and saints.

      Jesus was tempted like us in EVERY way and in ALL points like us so He could know what we go through and offer us HIS victory, which is more than sobriety. For many groups. sobriety, not victory is the goal. Bonding to the purity of Jesus opens the door for victory and freedom, giving the man hope at every step along the way. And as men begin to understand that Jesus can identify with them, that He fulfilled prophecy as their Suffering Messiah, so He could connect His story with their story, so they could receive His victory, they begin to have hope because they are trusting in His supernatural story to bring them forgiveness, cleansing, healing, freedom and victory in the context of Christ-centered community. http://www.straight2theheart.com / paul@straight2theheart.com

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        Hi Paul,

        I feel like your comment lines up nicely with my last point. In the end, we only stand against against the tyrant of sin when we recognize the purity of the one who died for our sins and rose again. I believe 1 John 3 says it nicely, talking not just about growth in purity but focusing in on the purity of Christ as the source: “Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure” (3:2-3).

    11. Yoamny Feliz on

      I ordered the software, but I didn’t find it useful….it was so easy to disable it and watch whatever I wanted…..can anybody help?……I don’t know where to find an accountability partner or where to find a support group for this…..I’ve been going to a love and sex addiction group, but have been unable to go anymore because of work schedule and I think they closed……I’m so ashamed…..I don’t want to be like this anymore…..I feel trapped……can anybody tell me where I can find a support group? and how I can find an accountability partner?

      Reply
    12. Gil on

      Luke,

      Your blog and Covenant Eyes material and software are very helpful. Thank you for your ministry!

      I, too, have previously seen the issue where CE doesn’t block Google images from coming up. You can’t click on the images themselves, but Google provides a fairly large thumbnail and the search terms themselves are allowed. This, however, could be a setting in the software itself, I’m not sure. Even so, I am thankfully able to maintain purity without use of the software itself, even though I think it’s important to keep my subscription active and keep it at home. I quickly realized that CE was a critically important step in my recovery, but I could not be dependent on it. I credit CE for really providing one means of early help as well as shedding “light” on this issue within my marriage.

      In gratitude,

      Gil

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        Thanks, Gil. This is something we are looking into, for sure. This is just one more example of how difficult it is to keep up with the ever-changing landscape of the Internet.

        I’m glad Covenant Eyes is a help to you!

    13. Ganba on

      Hi. I am very happy that read this information. I am 25. Truth is I am addicted to pornography. I really want to stop watching pornography so many times. Pornography is killing my life, faith, proud, time and everything. shame on myself.
      I know lots of young boys addicted to pornography and sometimes later one by one they left the Church. I am of them also i cant go to the church now because of my sin, my bad. I am blaming to myself.
      if anyone there, please pray for me to can stop this addiction.

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        Hi Ganba,

        I’m so sorry to hear about this slavery to sin you’re experiencing. It is an awful experience.

        I’m curious: Why can’t you go to church because of your sin? Have you been told by others that you can’t be involved at church, or is this something you’ve chosen?

      • Marc on

        guilt and shame can, like pain, cause avoidance. Avoiding the gathering of God’s children in His house is counter productive. Separation from Jesus, due to sin, has caused great depression in my life at times. Overwhelmed with grief and sorrow my addiction has kept me out church periodically. One thing that greatly helps is to be in His house even when I feel unworthy. At one point attending other facilities other that my home church helped. That way I could focus on Jesus rather on myself and the judging eyes I thought were on me.

      • Luke Gilkerson on

        I agree. Being in the house of God is therapeutic.

    14. Ganba on

      Hi Luke,

      This is something I’ve chosen. Sinner like me no need to attend a church.
      I think I am in a cycle of sin . I do sin. I ask God to forgive me. I do sin the same sin again. I ask God to forgive me again…over. over again. Now I am starting to lose hope. This is absurd

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        Hi Ganba,

        I think church is a perfect place for you to go. That’s what the church is: a family of forgiven and struggling sinners. This is the very place you should go to find accountability, mentoring, and counsel. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. God works through others to help you to become holy.

        You might enjoy this free e-book. You can download it and read it with a friend. It will help you to break free from porn.

    15. Gene Fondren on

      How can I get a copy of the article “Why Your Resolution to Quit Porn Will Fail Miserably (and how to succeed instead) I have led sexual addiction groups for close to 14 yrs. and this is a great article I would like to share with my groups. Thanks for all you do.

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        You can simply copy it straight from the post here and paste it into any word processor. Feel free to print it off and give it to anyone you want!

    16. Angel Galvan on

      Hi Luke. Thanks for the article. I wish I would have read and known this before, but I thank you for helping me get to this article from the comment I recently made in another one since I can relate to this. I will do my best to apply what I have learned in this article to my life since I have learned from it, and I am sure it will help me in my recovery.

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        So glad you found it helpful!

    17. Struggle on

      My favorite Verse that has helped me through heeps of battle with this very thing:
      Ephesians 6:10-18 (KJV)
      10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
      11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
      12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
      13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
      14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
      15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
      16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
      17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
      18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

      Reply
    18. Erlan Tostes on

      Mr Gilkerson,
      I wish I had your permission to translate this article to my language (Brazilian Portuguese) and republish ot on my personal blog with its due references.
      Thank you, my best regards, happy 2016!

      Reply
      • Lisa Eldred on

        Erian, you may do so! However, please include the following text at either the top or the bottom of your post:

        This post originally appeared in English on the Covenant Eyes blog and was translated with their permission. This translation has not been reviewed by Covenant Eyes.

    19. Akin Dada on

      I just want to say that the church cannot support every noble idea that passes. The church can be likened to a general hospital. Most things can be treated in a general hospital but certain conditions require specialist hospitals-hospitals dedicated for treatment of such cases.

      If God has placed it in your heart and the church will not incorporate it into their already full schedule of weekly activities that most people don’t even attend; you can always start a ministry outside the church. Also, you can ask the church to publicize your ministry during announcement on Sunday. BUT let’s be clear on one thing, the fact a church does not support your/my/our noble idea does not make what that church does less important or noble or uncaring.

      You continue to run the ministry God has placed in your heart. After all, you are a peculiar people and whatever your hand findeth to do, do it with all your might and strength.

      Remember the church is not the building, it is the people. You can borrow the facility to even start your ministry on days that the building is not used for official church programs. God bless!

      Reply
    20. Akin Dada on

      Finally, for those thinking they are sinners and no need to go to church because of habitual sin. Well, I understand how you feel but remember that why you we were yet sinners, Jesus Christ died for us. So, when next we find ourselves constantly sinning, that is the time to draw closer to Jesus Christ. After all, you do not stop going to a clinic because you always injure yourself and you are afraid the doctor will be mad at you because you keep injuring yourself? NO! You keep going to the clinic and follow the doctor’s recommendations so you can eventually become healed and whole.

      Guess what Jesus Christ is the Great Physician (Doctor). This is Good News! for all of us :) :)
      So, “let us come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our times of need.” And that includes those us that find ourselves sinning constantly despite the strong desire to not sin. Follow the Great Physician’s recommendations-“This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth but you shall meditate on it day and night” and in no time, you will be like Him. And soon, you will go on to set other captives free! Telling them the Good News and how we have been set free ourselves from the same law of sin and death.

      God bless.

      Reply
    21. Luke on

      Really practical steps! I think the wisdom in this one blog post is worth the cost of the software alone and you are giving away this content for free. Amazing! I am so thankful to God for this 40-day program and software. Thank you for your hard work in the development. After at least 12 years of addiction, I am confident that I can accomplish purity by the power of the spirit and through the biblical wisdom and support provided here.

      Reply
    22. Chok on

      May God continue to bless you for this very important message for me and my other brothers who are fighting against this sin,i pray that i have the strength and conviction to go through this process.every time i relapse i feel like am trash and i know if i go through this i would be a far better person.i will be free and i help others like you did for me

      Reply
    23. Kade on

      This is probably the toughest for me to break free. My issue is that I believe in God and the truth of His Word. My desire to stop isn’t within me, it’s in following Christ. Truly a cross to bear. When it comes to this party of God’s Word, it gets tough to follow the Word. I feel like these benefits are for God’s benefit. I’m not married so it’s more about me struggling and suffering for the greater good, which makes sense I guess. I honestly am not looking to commit to someone except for the fact that it’s God ordained. I don’t watch porn for anything other than the sheer pleasure and the addiction is a result of this evil fleshly desire. I see this as a lifetime of struggle. This may be a cynical or “rational” outlook to others but it’s realistic to me. I have to speak things that truly are not (many Scripture verses about victory) as though they are here. Can someone combat my mind here? Thanks.

      Reply
    24. Andrew McLeod on

      This was an awfully long lesson compared with earlier ones. I felt overwhelmed reading this. Not that it doesn’t have the message I need and want to hear, but if this lesson itself were broken down into smaller ones, like the measurable goals section you first allude to, I think I’d feel a little less defeated reading it.

      Reply
      • Moriah Dufrin on

        Andrew,

        I appreciate your comment and am sorry that you felt overwhelmed reading this article! I will keep this in mind as we publish future articles. I hope that you will keep reading our blog!

        Blessings,
        Moriah

    25. J. St.Germain on

      I’m a sex addict in recovery; I’ve been clean for 3 plus years, which feels greater and greater by His grace. Having a mindset that the seductive lure of pornography is Satans attempt at hijacking and enslaving my mind has been a valuable concept to embrace. It is a battle for emotional, mental, and spiritual freedom; one which requires plenty of armor, weapons, and ammunition-all spiritual. Men, we need to obtain this weaponry and use it daily, sometimes moment to moment. St.Michael helps greatly….praise God.

      Reply
    26. Ygal on

      Hi Luke,
      Thanks for this initiative. I am in my 20s, single and Christ follower. I am still struggling with pornography despite taking drastic measures in the past and now to stop watching this evil thing. Lets say I even saved an entire family from falling into that by secretly setting up a port on the router that blocked every possible adult’s contents. I did it because of the children in that family who had access to internet with private smartphones. Until today no one in that family even the internet provider do not know what really happened to the router to block certain contents from their internet.
      At a personal level, I have deleted unnecessary search engines from my phone, activated safe search, deactivated incognito mode on my computer but I have always found ways to circumvent my own restrictive digital architecture. I am not IT guy but because of struggling with pornography, I have been able to do all of this.
      I neglect my triggers. It often starts with Youtube or with a movie, a word or a shape; I tell myself I cannot fall that down if I watch this or that, I won’t watch porn. But in the end it’s always point 0. I never get discouraged of saying sorry to God after falling because I know one day I will look at all these mistakes as long gone dreams. I have hope. Hope keeps me fighting at my lowest level. Do not give up fellow men. God will give victory to the world. This is a fight against us all. One enemy against the whole world. Gird up your loins and fight! Your destiny is victory as a child of God. “If you are passing through hell, keep moving”. Winston Churchill.
      To those who are winning, please do not stop praying for us who are fighting.

      May the Lord bless us all!

      Ygal.

      Reply
    27. Casey on

      I think a lot of this advice will help and I’m going to try it I havnt had much of a prob but I do often think about it so I strongly fill it will

      Reply

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