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Do women who watch porn feel more shame than men who watch porn?

Last Updated: April 16, 2015

Luke Gilkerson

Luke Gilkerson has a BA in Philosophy and Religious Studies and an MA in Religion. He is the author of Coming Clean: Overcoming Lust Through Biblical Accountability and The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality. Luke and his wife Trisha blog at IntoxicatedOnLife.com

It is harder and harder to ignore the fact that women are drawn to and tempted by porn online. For some women, they feel the shame of struggling with what is typically believed to be “a guy problem.”

In this interview, Heather Lundy, a manager of a counseling center in Colorado, talks with me about this issue of women, shame, and pornography.

Here are more resources for women who struggle with pornography.

Stories of women addicted to pornography

  • Comments on: Do women who watch porn feel more shame than men who watch porn?
    1. Jocelyn Sophia Poesnecker on

      I think that something that helps concerning something to make one not want to watch pornography is to remember that the one watching pornography is watching a crime being committed. Normally if we saw a crime we would report it, but how do we report this? We need to boycott it and tell people in government that we want it to be illegal in America for pornography to be produced and sold. I forget that there is such a thing as pornography, because I do not watch it, however if it is being produced, I remind people that it is a crime to commit fornication and even if the couple is married, it is a crime for them to allow themselves to be photographed doing sexual acts. Sincerely, Jocelyn Sophia

      Reply
    2. Hannah on

      I am 23 year woman. Growing up where I did, it was completely normal for girls to watch pornography. Friends left it up on their “most visited” websites with no shame. We were introduced to it young and it was engrained in many of us. My struggle to stop watching was VERY tough…I am now in a completely different world– all Christian friends and multiple mentors and pornography is not even mentioned. I know it is talked about at my husbands men conferences. I have confided in one women with my past struggle and she just did not understand. I am blessed to have a husband who understands and has been healed as well. I know for a fact that MANY young women watch pornography and it is accepted. I don’t know if they feel the same amount of shame as I did.

      Reply
      • Luke Gilkerson on

        The problem is bigger than many people imagine. ABout half of young women surveyed today think viewing pornography is an acceptable way to express one’s sexuality. There are most certainly whole communities of women who have embraced pornography.

        Don’t be discouraged that other women you know today can’t identify. Many women still do not watch porn. It is, however, discouraging, that the church would create an atmosphere where it isn’t safe for women to come forward to open up about it.

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