For a long time the words of Rich Mullins’ music have captivated me. You might remember him as the author of songs like “Awesome God,” and “Step by Step” (for those of you who were in the late-80s-early-90s Christian music scene). His lyrics have continued to grab at my heart even now, 14 years after his death.

During my senior year in college, Rich’s album A Liturgy, A Legacy, and a Ragamuffin Band was one of my favorites to listen to. It came along at a perfect time for me, a time when my faith seemed so weak and temptations seemed so strong. I had spent the year before submerging myself in countless hours of pornography. I had started losing hope in Christ’s ability to save me from the power porn had over me. That year, track 4, “Hold Me Jesus,” became my sincere prayer for porn addiction, asking him to pull me from the mess I was in.

It recently came to my attention that Rich Mullins actually wrote the song for this very purpose: he too was aching to be delivered from the temptations of pornography. Below is some concert footage of Rich playing this song in Lufkin, Texas, explaining the genesis of the song.

Don’t Do Life Alone

I really appreciate what Rich had to say about not doing life alone. Often our battles with temptation are worse than they should be because we’ve bought into a just-me-and-Jesus sort of spirituality. God does promise us freedom from the grip of sin, fresh power within our hearts changing our desires. But He promises these things to His body, the church, not just to his individual followers. We need one another.

We need responsive, gospel-driven accountability. As good accountability partners, we need to not only hear an account of our friends’ sins, but give an account of God’s grace—a grace that not only saves us from the guilt of sin, but also from the grip of sin. (Coming Clean: Overcoming Lust Through Biblical Accountability)

Lyrics to “Hold Me Jesus”

Well sometimes my life just don’t make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus ’cause I’m shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won’t You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It’s so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus ’cause I’m shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won’t You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don’t come natural to me
I’d rather fight You for something I don’t really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I’ve beat my head against so many walls
Now I’m falling down I’m falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

I’m singing hold me Jesus ’cause I’m shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won’t You be my Prince of Peace

You have been King of my glory
Won’t You be my Prince of Peace