My journey to overcome pornography began in 2018. I was 14 years old, and I had an iPod, which my parents let me use unmonitored. I normally just played games and messaged my friends, but eventually, after downloading an app called Pinterest, I began to fall into temptation.
At first, it was innocent, but then the temptation and sin entangled my heart more and more.
Soon, I was lusting over pornography, but that is not where God has kept me. Throughout this time of sin, I have been consistently attending church, youth group, and a life group with families within my church, and at one of these youth group meetings, the message made me fully realize how much I have been sinning against God and I needed help to pursue His plan for my life.
My First Victories
So, that night, I told a couple of my youth group leaders about my struggle against pornography. They advised me to let my parents know of my struggle. Just before I told my parents, I was taking a shower, and all my guilt and shame tried to force my mouth shut and stay
in my life of sin, but I cried and cried out to God for strength, and I told my parents. Then, after that victory, I told some of my closest friends, and ever since then, they have been praying for me and helping me throughout this fight.
My friend told me about Covenant Eyes, and I asked my parents to get it on my devices. My parents monitor the screenshots that Covenant Eyes takes from monitoring my phone and laptop, and this accountability with them has also helped me. It has led to serious conversations about my temptations and what I can do to limit the possibility of falling into temptation.
Ongoing Struggles
The struggle I have faced overcoming pornography is the accessibility of pornography to any person who has a device that can search for things on the internet. There are absolutely no restrictions on the internet, and for anyone, this can be a temptation. All I have to do is look up one word, and there are ten or more websites with free access to pornography at my fingertips. For a fourteen-year-old, it was too easy to fall into the dark pit of pornography.
Another struggle I had for the past couple of years is late nights. I have been dual enrolling, which means I am able to take college classes online for a reduced price as a high school student, so most of the time I stay up late doing schoolwork or playing games with my friends. My parents and siblings all go to bed before me, and I have no one to check on what I am doing. So, I am at that time tired, alone, and tempted.
A victory in those circumstances is the availability my friends gave me to call them whenever I am tempted, praying to God for deliverance, and Covenant Eyes blocking the searches on the internet that I am trying to look up. My closest friends have been a blessing from God in so many aspects of my life, especially with my fight against pornography and my sin. We would work out three days a week in the mornings, and we decided to start going through a biblically-based book about fighting against pornography.
So, three days out of the week, we would meet, work out, talk about what we have learned and what has helped, and then pray for each other. This boosted my heart and mind’s defenses against temptation and the devil. We also told each other to call or text each
other whenever we were tempted, so we did not have to fight alone.
The Power of Encouragement
Calling or texting when tempted was another struggle. I had to drop my pride and appearance of being “all good” and reveal my struggles; however, doing so deepened the relationships I have with my friends. We also put into practice confessing our sins to one another.
If we stumbled and fell into temptation and looked at pornography without reaching out for help, we were always encouraged to tell one another so we could pray to God collectively for each other and be forgiven.
It always lifted my heart out of despair, knowing that my friends were praying for me, and I hope it lifted their hearts as well, knowing I was praying for them.
With Covenant Eyes, my parents, my friends, and most importantly, God with me every day, hour, minute, and second of my life, I will continue to fight against the sin and temptation of pornography and live for what God has planned for me in my life. Writing parts of my journey has opened my eyes to see God’s goodness and how he has created good out of my sin, and that waging war against my flesh’s desires has changed me positively. God has brought me closer to my friends, family, and to Himself.
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