Doug Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker, and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of more than 40 books. For more information on his resources and services, stop by www.drdougweiss.com.
For some, pornography might seem like a harmless pastime, a not-too-serious guilty pleasure, or an embarrassing habit. You might wonder, why should I stop?
But maybe you’re one of the many who have realized the devastating effects that porn has on your life and relationships. Maybe you feel trapped and like you can’t stop watching porn.
If you’re wondering how to stop looking at porn, you’re not alone. Skim through the hundreds of comments below, and you’ll see. Quitting porn doesn’t have to be complicated, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Read on to learn the best way to stop porn for good.
Dr. Weiss’ 6 Essential Steps to Quit Porn
If you want to stop looking at porn, it takes intentional work, and I encourage you to familiarize yourself with these six steps:
Note from the editor: Since 2012, Dr. Weiss’ six essential steps for quitting porn have helped over a million people on their journey to stop watching porn. We’ve had so many comments and follow-up questions on this article that we expanded on the original points to help you understand how to finally quit porn for good. Dr. Weiss’ original thoughts are included in each step.
Step 1: You need to want to stop watching porn.
“The first part to quitting porn is you really have to want to quit porn. You need to be sick and tired of porn and the sickness that it causes you in order to quit. If you are not committed, you will only be quitting until the next time you look. Deep inside you have to want to stop.” – Dr. Doug Weiss
Is your porn use really a problem?
If you feel like you’ve got porn under control and you can watch a little bit here and there without any problems, then chances are good that you don’t bother trying to quit. In fact, the most popular advice today will tell you that watching a little porn won’t hurt you. If that’s you, I recommend checking out these articles:
People who quit watching porn are people who recognized their need to change. For some of us, it takes a life-shaking event, such as getting caught by a spouse. For others, it’s simply the desire for something better than the emptiness of porn.
You’ve got to understand that it’s a long-term commitment and keep your reasons for quitting in front of you. You’ve got to really want it so you can go on to step 2.
Understand the benefits of quitting porn.
Try visualizing your life without porn:
Would your marriage be better?
If you’re single, would you feel more confident to pursue a relationship?
Would you find freedom from guilt and shame?
Would you free up wasted time to pursue your dreams?
When we turn to porn, it’s not always because we like porn itself. Some addicts hate pornography. But we want what porn promises: comfort for our loneliness, pleasure for our eyes, sexual fulfillment, etc. Don’t believe the lies. Porn won’t deliver what it promises you.
Step 2: You need to be willing to quit porn in a different way.
“You have to be willing to do things you haven’t done before. Seriously, if you keep trying to quit porn the same way, you’re likely to fail again. To stop watching porn for good, you have to give up what you’ve been doing and do what you have to do.” – Dr. Doug Weiss
Identify and manage your porn triggers.
To quit porn, you need to quit whatever it is that triggers you to watch porn. What are your vulnerable moments? Is it a particular TV show? Is it having your laptop and mobile phone next to your bed? Perhaps it’s having a computer/device without accountability software on it. Ask the following questions (better yet, have a close friend or ally ask you):
What was I doing?
What was I thinking?
How was I feeling?
As you begin to find patterns in your temptation, you’ll need to create a game plan to navigate the vulnerable situations or avoid them altogether.
When we understand the science and psychology of what’s happening, it allows us to create a better plan. We have two posts that can help you with this.
Step 3: You need to be brutally honest with someone about quitting porn.
“You have to tell someone else about your struggle and desire to get free. This person may be a male friend, your wife, a person of clergy, a life coach, or a 12-step group person. Somebody has to know the truth about your porn usage for you to get and stay free.” – Dr. Doug Weiss
Porn plays on the power of secrecy and shame to trap people. We feel shame and embarrassment, which make us fearful of reaching out for the help we need. One of the biggest lies of porn is that you’re better off hiding your struggle than admitting to failure.
Confess your problem to someone.
Maybe you’ve followed the breadcrumbs and learned to recognize some of your triggers. But, you will not be free from your struggle with porn until you open up about it. These articles are filled with tips on sharing your struggle with porn:
Seeking professional help may feel scary or shameful. But speaking to a qualified counselor or sex addiction therapist can change your life. An expert will understand the root causes of porn addiction and help you walk through the steps of recovery.
“Next, you have to do what I call “clean house.” You have to get rid of the porn you have. Throw away the discs, magazines, anything you have used as pornography, and make sure to dump and clean out your computer. This is just a start; you have to clean house regularly. ” – Dr. Doug Weiss
In addition to Dr. Weiss’ suggestions, you may want to run a malware scanner and cleaning program. Porn sites are notoriously riddled with malware and adware that can stay with your computer after you delete the porn files and stop going to the websites. Depending on the type of sites you visited in the past (particularly sites that offered free downloads), you may need to take it to a computer repair shop for a professional tune-up.
Get rid of other triggering content too.
If you want to stop watching porn, it makes sense to get rid of your porn. But, you also need to get rid of any other content or media that triggers your porn use or is just unhelpful in your porn recovery journey.
Remember, in Question 2, we talked about identifying your porn triggers. If you identified any media habits that often precede porn use, stop using that type of media—maybe it’s certain music, shows, or social media in general. Just get rid of it. If you want to quit porn, you need to be intentional about all the types of media you consume.
You need to be honest about what’s triggering for you and be sure to put it aside. You may want to involve your ally in the process to help you make tough decisions as well as to keep you on track.
“The next step is you have to block entry points. This means have a porn blocker and accountability software like Covenant Eyes on your phone, computer at home, and at the office. If you have people sending you compromising emails, block them. Unsubscribe from porn websites. You may have to decide if credit cards are a problem. You know how porn is coming into your life. If you had a gun to your head you could block entry points in a minute.”
Some people will ask someone to hold on to a tempting smartphone or computer for a time until their porn habit is better under control or other protections are in place. As with Step 4, the key here is being honest with yourself and your allies about where porn is coming into your life and then doing whatever it takes to remove access to it.
Too extreme? Remember Steps 1 and 2: How badly do you want to quit, and how willing are you to try something new to keep making progress on the journey?
Step 6: You need a friend to hold you accountable.
On a difficult journey, the people alongside you can determine your success or failure. And, if you look back over the previous five steps, you can see that you really need accountability for each one to make it stick. Accountability is the glue that holds your plan together.
Remember Step 1? You often need accountability to remind you of your reasons for quitting porn in the first place. Step 2 is about trying something different, and accountability can show you where you’re falling back into the same old patterns that have kept you trapped in porn for so long. Admitting your failures to someone is step 3, which is a critical part of accountability.
If you attempt steps 4 and 5 on your own (get rid of all porn and block new porn from coming in), it’s easy to leave yourself loopholes. When you ask someone to keep you accountable, you’re asking them to help you lock down the loopholes that have always allowed you to slip back into porn.
Since most people access porn on their computers and smartphones, it’s essential to have an accountability app. Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability monitors your devices for porn and sends your partner a report of what you’re looking at on your devices.
Find an ally to keep you accountable for quitting porn.
A trusted friend or mentor can make a great ally. The resources below share helpful info on finding the right ally for you:
Samson Society (a great support group option for men who can’t find an ally in their immediate circle)
STRIVE. This 21-day porn recovery program for men features an online community.
What does accountability look like in quitting porn?
Having Covenant Eyes removes a lot of the ambiguity in your accountability relationship. When you have it on your devices, it removes the secrecy and helps you live honestly and openly with the people you trust the most. This is vital because secrecy and shame are powerful forces that can drive you back to porn.
It’s not enough to download an app. You need to connect regularly with your ally. Accountability often fails when people only meet sporadically. Dr. Weiss and many others advise daily check-ins, and this is especially important in the early stages of quitting porn. (Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability reports go out daily by default). Connecting with your ally could be as simple as replying to a Covenant Eyes report or following up with a text message.
“You have to decide that you are worth living porn free. I decided that almost 25 years ago and just passed a polygraph verifying my freedom. I believe you’re worth it but your behavior will show you if you are. Don’t believe your words. Believe only your behaviors; otherwise, you can be in denial as to your commitment to being porn-free.
One of the most effective tools I’ve found to quit porn is Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability™. It helps with four of these six essential steps. Not only can it block porn before it gets to you, it also provides a report of your device use to a trusted friend–forcing you to be brutally honest and making it easier than ever for you to have the open and honest relationship needed to beat your porn addiction.
Remember, you are not the only one being affected if you are married or want to be married. Your spouse is affected by your porn usage. Your children are being affected as well. They deserve your best. You decide. Do they get the porn-drunk you or the porn-free you? I recommend the porn-free you. It’s the better you.”
I’ve been into pornography and masturbation for 10yrs now. Honestly I wnt to quit it but I always find myself going back to it. Whenever I have access to d internet and I’m alone I must visit and download so many porn videos. It’s affecting my academics and spiritual life. What do I do pls?
Hi Ekelwe. There are many steps to take to overcome this habit, but it is possible by the power of God. I recommend you read through our free e-book Your Brain on Porn and then ask me if you have any questions about what to do next.
S R
think of your future with porn and without it. you will find its not even .01 % worth of future. find your dream set traget and then shoot with full efficiency.
Pujan Dahal
I am also a person who likes pornography… i also do it when i get frustrated of many bad events that happen in my life.. i am just 15 now and i think that you and i both should make a good friend who understands us a lot and help us to get out of it..
Nana
Hi Ekekwe , I have the same problem as you. Let’s be friends and help each other . Do you use Twitter ?
Saurabh manhar
I am 15 years old I started this habit of porn and masturbation. I have also lost faith on me so we both can come out of this together if we become friends.
Zyad Ahmed
Ekekwe, U said it yourself -alone-, U need to find someone u can trust to help U whenever U’re alone and gonna watch it they come and lift U off Whatever u’re using to watch these things on
tonny
quitting porn is not easy but i can help .e mail me on tonitobato@ gmail.com
Rameez
once i stop in 2 week again i getnet
Robbie
Hey, this happens a lot. Up and down, sometimes you are doing great but other times, its not that great. I’m not the best person to say this but, the only way that you will efficiently quit pornography is by having a relationship with Jesus. We can’t do this stuff on our own. When we have a true relationship with Jesus these desires will come but with Jesus we can fight temptation. Remember Josheph (Genesis), the wife of a ruler wanted to sleep with Joseph. What did Joseph do? He RAN AWAY. Sometimes we just can’t fight temptation with verses, we need to escape these sinful pleasures.
I know its hard, i still struggle.
Ian Horn
Please get rid of your internet connection at home. Use the internet at a public library. It’s the only way to stop porn from destroying your life. I know, I am speaking from experience. God bless you. Ian.
Hey, I’m Sri , I am addicted to porn and i want to protect myself, i think i run after porn because of my loneliness, is there anyway you can help? and there is also this problem: a take a firm resolve to not to look at porn after looking at when i feel restless and i go in for help from God, but the very next day , i fall into the trap again, so please someone give me advice, i’m just 17 and this porn addiction affects my academics a lot.
Chris McKenna
Hello Sri, have you tried to apply any of the 6 steps that Dr. Weiss mentions in his blog post? Have you cleared house of the opportunities? It’s true that anything we try to fight ALWAYS fights us back, which is maybe why you struggle the very next day. Evil loves to make a fool of our promises to “never” do something again. But, God’s grace is fresh EVERY morning. If you truly want to quit, then it might involve some drastic measures, but it all depends on whether or not you really want to quit, which I hope you do. God is FOR you, and if that’s true, then who can be against you? (Romans 8:31).
-Chris
Covenant Eyes
Eyes only
I am 17. Live in Nigeria. And I have a big porn/masturbation problem. When I’m at school, I try to be close to God. But when I visit my parents, it seems like something comes over me. All I can think of is porn. Finally, I succumb get some porn and then masturbate. When I go back to school, I repent and clean up my act only for the cycle to repeat itself whenever I visit my parents again. Right now, I’m feeling very guilty and depressed. I just finished masturbating. Sometimes I wonder if I can ever break free of this 3 year old addiction
Chris McKenna
Hello Eyes only – have you tried any of the 6 Essential Steps listed in the blog post? What is it about visiting your parents that acts as a trigger? Yes, you can break free. Through the power of Christ, ALL things are possible and He breaks every chain. But, we must surrender constantly to His authority. Here’s good news – God’s grace is fresh EVERY morning. God is FOR you. Which of the 6 steps will you take right now?
-Chris
Covenant Eyes
Jesse Medina
I would say looking at the current patterns of thinking and habits. Looking at these can help you see where sin has blinded you and kept you going deeper into destructive situations and habits.
annonymous
Ekekwe……… to get something u want you must sacrifice something to get what you really want ………. all you have to do is sacrifice and get rid of your internet for like 1 or 2 months trust me u will never watch porn ………thats the only way out …….during those times that you do not have internet try to feed your brain with another healthy habit and finally pray and your bible always….cry to lord jesus to come to your aid. peace be with you
barça
If you really want to stop it Islam has given solution ,if you cant controll . marry as early as possible ,if it is not possible then fast , today world need teaching of Islam ,plz read more about Islam don’t trust media which shows wrong about Islam may Allah protect us from this evil act ,and respect women they are not made for sexual purpose
Hi Ekekwe, I know this is quite a bit after you posted this, and I hope you have been able to quit porn for good.
I just wanted to chime in and say that even if you haven’t keep trying. The only way you can succeed is to keep trying. You have to want to quit, really want to quit.
It’s not easy, and it will suck for months, but then life will be so much better. Good luck.
Ben
Isaiah Serna
To all who hopefully still do this…
I need SERIOUS help!!! I’ve dug a HUGE hole for myself with this masturbation problems and pornography addictions. It’s affecting my concentration and, most importantly, my spiritual life. I’d Is anyone there, for the love of God?
Chris McKenna
Hello Isaiah – I’m sorry you’re struggling so much. You have to really want to quit – this is not an easy battle. Have you tried the steps in the post? God is for you, and is with you, but I find that He works powerfully through our steps – our “grace-driven” efforts to seek Him fully. Peace, Chris
DL
Good luck to everyone. I certanly need some myself. Even though I have watched porn for only half a year its still dang hard to quit. Any suddgetions?
Chris McKenna
Hello DL – yes, very hard to quit, and it gets more difficult to quit the longer you stick with it. Did you read the blog post? What did you think of what it said?
uknown
playing a lot of videogames helped me and got me yo quit u need yo find a hoby that u really like ti distract your mind
Fictious
Put it in a list of good habits it leave it by itself
Eunice
I’m 15 years old! And since two years I’ve been watching porn and masturbating! I really wanna leave it! But I couldn’t! I dont know how to leave that habit! Because of this my studies , my relationship with Jesus , my singing skills are getting affected! ???
Chris McKenna
Hello, Eunice – on one hand, my heart breaks for your situation. Addiction just takes the life and motivation right out of us. Did you know there’s a term for it? It’s called “brain fog,” and I also remember it during times of struggle (which is probably why your singing skills are being impacted). But, on the other hand, you’ve admitted the issue, and that’s a great step! Now, comes the hard work – are you ready? When you look at the blog post you commented on, pay close attention to each item Dr. Weis mentions, especially #2 – “get brutally honest with someone.” Can you do that? He also lays out other steps you can take, which when they work together, they form a powerful front against addiction. But, you have to get #2 right. Can you do that? I truly hope you can.
Eunice, God is for you! Anything is possible at the cross of Jesus Christ. Read Romans 8 to be reminded of who you are in Christ :)
Peace, Chris
Annie
The best thing to quit your self on that is to read your bible, go to church who teach about Christ, Gospel and salvation and do good. Satan can do everything he wants just to ruin your lives by watching those bad stuffs but if you have relationship with Jesus Christ you will think 100x before you do that. God can change lives if you are willing to submit your self to Him. God can change you permanently.
.abrex tagel
Even if I tried many times to remove my self from pornography but I could not overcome porn ,I started watching porn vedio five years ago then I become most visitor of pornography sites then every day I do sex with my hand and then masturbat now I am addicted on porn .please show me some way to remove my self from that world
Hi, my case is really terrible… I’m a girl, I’m not supposed to be into all this… I try reading books online, and the next thing is that I see myself opening a porn wedsite. I don’t understand why it’s always like that, I’m spending a lot on it and it’s getting really annoying please pray for me.
Chris McKenna
Hi, Florence, I’m proud of you for having the guts to admit that you’re struggling. Now, the next step is to close the doors to the porn. In the blog here, there are steps to take, but you have to take them! It’s not some magic spell. You have to actually take the steps. And, if you do, they often work. Can you do that? Get rid of the phone? Get a sponsor or friend to talk to? Prayer alone will not be enough. It’s necessary, but not enough.
I’m 31 yrs old and struggling with porn, I need help, I’ve been doing so great without porn for months now, but I was talking to someone I like yesterday and I guess that triggered these feelings, what can I do, how many times can I repent before God leaves my side.. I’m so scared I will ruin my salvation.. I need someone to talk to that won’t judge me..I feel so disgusting of myself..😰
Chris McKenna
Hello, Dee – I’m sorry that you’re still struggling. What have you tried? Do you believe you can quit? If you don’t believe it’s possible, then it won’t happen. Do you believe that the Cross of Christ that you gave you life to can break even your sin? Or, do you believe that it only works for everyone else’s sin? These are the big questions that you need to ask while getting alone so God can look you in the eye and lovingly answer. No judgment. He’s not mad at you. I think God is mad at porn and what it’s doing to His precious child. That’s you. Would you read one more thing? Here: https://www.covenanteyes.com/2012/04/23/how-to-quit-porn-6-essential-steps/
I’m 31 yrs old and struggling with porn, I need help, I’ve been doing so great without porn for months now, but I was talking to someone I like yesterday and I guess that triggered these feelings, what can I do, how many times can I repent before God leaves my side.. I’m so scared I will ruin my salvation.. I need someone to talk to that won’t judge me..I feel so disgusting of myself..😰
Chris McKenna
Hello, Diana – what have you tried? When you read the 6 essential steps, which part are you struggling with? We believe that these steps if carried out consistently can bring redemption. Alone, you will continue to struggle, mightily. Find a team of help.
Peace, Chris
Joy
Go to God in prayers..
Daniel
Hi this is Daniel I have been watching porn since I was 13 and now I am 19. I realize that it has affected me in so many ways, pls I need help and support cos I feel embarrassed to say it to anyone else that I do watch porn and masturbate at such an age. Please Help me overcome this
Chris McKenna
Hi, Daniel – being open is good. Nice job. Now, I’m going to ask your permission to be direct. It sounds like you can handle it.
You CAN’T beat this. Not in the way you’re currently trying. Not alone. Not keeping it to yourself. The enemy is stronger than your individual efforts.
It sounds like you want to do the right thing. So, here’s the issue – the choice is yours. No one can stop you from looking at porn. NO ONE! If you’re a Christian teenager, then it’s time to start believing that you’re a child of God and start acting like it. I’m being very direct – I think we tend to take a too gentle approach with guys and watching porn. NO! We were made for more. It’s time to be men. It’s time to love and respect the women around us AND on our screens. Even if they don’t respect themselves, WE have to decide to choose respect for them. This is on us. No more excuses. More than conquerors! Read Romans 8, all of it, to see what you were created to be. A warrior. Fearless. Of God. Untouchable. Unshakable. Settle for nothing less! Is your phone the issue? Then get rid of it. Do you struggle at night? Then no internet after 9pm. Do you masturbate? Then go (with parent permission!!!) get a tattoo of scripture put on your wrist. I guarantee you’ll quit :) How badly do you want this? You have to want it. You have to want freedom INSIDE and do things that prove you want it on the OUTSIDE.
I have faith in you. God is rooting for you! And, I am, too.
Peace, Chris
Mark Solina
Here is the approach that I adopted.
1. I remove all porn on my PC using a software called Content Cleaner from:
I am only thirteen years of age. I remember being on the computer and a screen just popped up in my face. I was fascinated and lost in this world where no one cared about hiding their private parts. For so long I have tried, tried and tried, however, this urge comes and overcomes me. I hope I can stop this as it leaves me depressed and makes me feel worthless. When ever I wake up I feel like a pile of bricks and I can’t get up because of how I feel. It destroys me emotionally every time I watch this sinful thing. I pray and hope to God that I can overcome this urge. I am inspired by your comments and I hope I can and will stop watching porn.
Thank you,
Rana Chakraborty
Thank you so very much for your essential help. What I found most important was being brutally honest to the other. I am sure I have the right zeals to get me going more firmly, and besides I must stop the negative vibes from entering into my brain as I have responsibilities to the others around me.
Christopher Huggins
Hello im 30 years old and I’m in a committed relationship with the love of my life, I have had a porn, lust, and sex addiction since I was around 13 years old. I struggle on a daily basis with looking up porn on my phone or looking for other women just to talk sexual with. It is ruining my relationship and I see my girlfriend hurt daily from my addiction. I want this all to just go away! I don’t want the feeling that I need or want to do these things ever again in my life. I’ve tried to just stop cold turkey but it never works I go right back to it the next day, she doesn’t understand how it’s an addiction and how I can’t just stop doing it thats why I’m reaching out for help. What can I do? It’s ruining my whole life
Chris McKenna
Christopher, I’m sorry that you’re struggling. The blog post gives some very practical steps – actions you need to take in order to achieve the outcome that you desire. You can’t pray it away. Pray can fuel your actions, but grace-driven effort is needed. If you struggle daily, then get a dumbphone. If you struggle daily, then have a daily morning phone call with a trusted mentor or friend to start the day with prayer and God’s mercy. It’s a question of what you’re willing to do! Cold turkey doesn’t work. Replacement does. The reward system you’ve created in your brain needs to be fed with other activities. From talking to counselors, those who are successful in breaking free from addiction have a few things in common: 1. Social Support (group of men) 2. Finding Spirituality 3. Find Meaning/Purpose 4. 12-Step Affiliation (mentoring/accountability/CE) 5. Improve Quality of Life (exercise, sleep, eating). It’s up to you!
Chris
Akintaju Alexander
You’ve got to pray earnestly for God to help you and try telling a spiritual head for counselling. Always have it at the back of your mind that watching it affects will affect your destiny. Most importantly, pray and fast.
g
Hi what I did was get rid of my internet on phone bought a really old Nokia and had no access if you have it you use it
well i am facing it as well but to really quit it you have to be fed up and tired of seeing it. Then you should get rud of all the porn things and speak to someone who you trust and who is willing to help you.
Madhavan
Engage yourself into other activities like playing games . Or addict your self to other things like technology sport etc
Julia
Hi,
I’m Julia, and I’ve struggled with a porn addiction since I was 12 (I know, 12 years old!) And after doing horrible things to my body, I find I cannot quit this pattern. I always can stop for months on end, but then I just start again. I’m afraid for my family and who I’ll be in my future. I’m afraid for my relationship with God and my future friends. Now I am beginning to see and imagine people as if they were in a porn video. I see porn everywhere, and I’m terrified. I will try to follow these steps as best as I can, but I’m afraid that if I tell anyone, no matter how much I trust them, I’m scared they won’t want to be friends with me, or my parents might disown me. The rest of these rules I will follow to the best of my abilities. Is there anything else I could possibly do to stop?
Kay Bruner
Hi Julia,
I suspect that at this point, the fear and shame that you feel are a huge factor in activating the cycle. The more fear and shame that you feel, the more you need something to distract you and make you feel better for a while, and porn works perfectly in that moment. Here are some things I think you could do.
1. Work on accepting that God loves you perfectly and completely in every moment, because God does. This is the greatest truth of our lives, and if we can connect to this reality and live into it, our need for dysfunctional behaviors will fall away.
2. Find people who will love you like God does, who will accept you completely without shaming or harming you, no matter what. This means being vulnerable with others, which is hard! But when we find those safe people, it’s increadibly rewarding.
3. Here’s a short animation on the shame-addiction cycle, and some ideas for interrupting it.
4. Your sexuality is normal and healthy. It’s normal to feel sexual arousal. It’s normal to masturbate. You are not broken, you have not harmed yourself irreparably. Trust in love, and interrupt the shame cycle, and see where you grow.
I hope these things help. Let us know how you’re doing,
Kay
Jess makes sure u pray regular and also have it in mind whenever u feel like watching porn switched off your internet connections becus its not easy stoping but when u started having it in mind dat u wont comes to that again makes sure u stands on it watching porns affected many its not a good behaviour pray everyday and believe it wont happen again
Von towe
Hi my name is Von,I’m 12’years old.I startedwatching porn a few months ago,and I’m not betting better.I don’t have a religion so I don’t know what to do.I tried to delete all of my resources but it’s not helping.If I tell anyone about this I’m sure I will get shunned by my family and friends.At this point I have no other ideas.I will try to stop this addiction by following these steps.Lord knows why I started this world of hell
Kay Bruner
Hey there.
I’m so sorry this has happened to you.
I know you said you don’t have a religion, but it sure sounds like you’ve got the kind of shame around sexuality that we often see from religious traditions. I’m sorry about that. I think it’s really important to understand that your sexuality is a normal part of yourself. Of course you will feel arousal, of course you will explore that. However, with anything that’s normal and healthy–food, sex, exercise–we can over-use those things that feel good, right? So we simply want to be healthy in the way that we enjoy the good gifts of life.
I hope that you do have safe people in your life that you might be able to talk with? Perhaps a school counselor?
Peace to you,
Kay
Randi
I started watching pornography videos when my mom went into a nursing home because she was so sick that the doctors couldn’t take care of her. So finally I talked to my pastor from my church and told me that it’s hard on the budget to buy and then throw so I threw them out for good. Then all of the sudden I started watching it on my phone so I talked to my female friend about it and I asked her if she could keep it between me and her. But as far as I go now,it’s gonna be a brand new day for me starting in the morning.
Exactly! I am 29 years old and find myself watching porn. I know it’s wrong but i cant stop. Should I get help?
Kay Bruner
If you want help, get it!
Deep Raaz
Thank you sir, hope it’ll work.
I am sick of it. Im trying to stop watching all adults scenes but unfortunately i do it repeatedly .
gulagg
This is all lies. There is no such thing as porn or masturbatory addiction. Get okAY with touching yourself, and you will calm down. Don’t listen to organized religion’s take on masturbation. THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT DOCTORS.
Kate.
Good afternoon Sir, just saw this article on how to quit porn. I somehow got addicted to porn in 2011. Its been a besetting sin in my life. In my own case, I may have an immoral dream and wake up with the urge to masturbate and I find myself unable to resist the urge and then I bam! I’m viewing porn.
I was a little girl when I got introduced to lesbianism by a neighbour’s daughter and our house help and I’ve been struggling with this ever since. Whenever I view porn, it’s only lesbian porn. I am tired of riding and falling in my spiritual life. I’ve rededicated my life back to CHRIST. I’m currently fasting and in three nights in a row I’ve had immoral dreams. I woke up not having the urge to masturbate but I want to live completely free of this chain of addiction.
I checked out the porn blocker site but realized that I need to pay to subscribe. In the part of the world where I live in, I don’t have access to credit cards and stuff like that. I’m trusting God to break those chains off me before this month is over so I can live a victorious Christian life. I’ll appreciate any suggestions. Many thanks, God bless you.
Chris McKenna
Hi, Kate – you’re courageous for posting. That’s a great step. I think there are plenty of things you can do without paying for a service. Make a clear plan for “what do I do when I wake up from an immoral dream” and stick to it. Do you have accountability in your life? Someone you can text that moment you wake up after an immoral dream, and say, “I just had a dream! I need to tell someone!” Have you ever read anything by Neil Anderson about breaking soul chains? He speaks specifically about some of the spiritual bondage that you might be experiencing in these dreams. I hope something there might help! Blessings, hope, and peace to you.
Chris
Leo
I realised a long time ago that pire will and brain power isn’t gonna get me anywhere! I accepted Jesus Christ into my life 10 years ago, asking for his guidance and forgivness. Over time I had strayed from God and thats how I found myself with a porn addiction. I tried to get rid alone over a 2 years and completely failed! This is until I realised I was being controlled by a demon, that could only be casted off in the name of Jesus. That night, I said: “Lord, when I accepted you into my life, you gave me the power to use Jesus’ name, so I command that spirits of sexual immorality to cease there grip from me, and to crawl back to the pits of hell in the name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and saviour!!!”. Since then, I have not watched a single porn video, I have not wanted to masturbate, and my mind has been cleared of all of these sinful desires. So trust me when I say, even if you do quit porn usage, without Jesus, that spirit will still be inside you!
Kimberly A Pinkerton
I have a problem with the devil feeding me images. I don’t look at porn . help! God says its an open door . I prayed in tongues but the door remains open. Help
Don Chezel
Honestly, there is nothing you can do. You have to find it in yourself to stop watching adult films. Covenant eyes will only be there as long as you pay for it. What if you get the itch to watch porn again, what do you do then? Stop paying for it and boom, you have to start all over again. You don’t need some fancy internet filtering to quit watching porn. All you need is the will to quit. I know that sounds corny, but it’s the truth.
Chris
I need to get out of this pit of porn and the latter just isn’t long enough. I can’t get out. I have the same feelings. This is horrible.
SAM
indulge in other works like do some exercise to deviate your mind
Anonymous
Hi I have the same problem, I am only 16 and I have been looking at porn since I was 13, take one good look at porn and think about how disgusting it is, think about how uncomfortable the video is, imagine you being the guy/girl and that video being sent to everyone you know, that is all I have to say.
Adnan
Hi I have the same problem but I quitted it for some months maybe 6 then again got back to the addiction I want to be free of pornography addiction as I cannot dehumanize women and be a crock I want to quit and I’ll quit from now onwards I promise my life and I’ll help the similar addicts tooo
Hey! your brain has been enslaved by pron. You should try to hangout with friends enjoy nature and whenever sexual thoughts arrives in your brain do some physical activities maybe like playing football ,jumpropes , pushups or go for a walk . I highly recommend you to change your dns which is free from porn websites. Try to be more socialize learn new skills and do not remain free. It’s you who can control the addiction so , implement these ideas and move forward life is awesome rule your brain otherwise, it will rule on you
Paul
I got it, now tell me how to deal with my “needs” when my wife hits menopause and says ” I’ve talked to some friends and I might get my sex drive back in a few years” Tell me how to deal with that.
Shiney
I am 17 and whenever I find myself alone at home I start watching pron I really want to quit but I am just unable to coz the more far I am willing to go from it the more closer it pulls me back and I don’t even realize that am watching pron I just keep enjoying one by one one by one and at the end I feel ashamed of my self and feel like killing myself it’s really affecting my academics as well as spritual to be e life I want to be closer to God but I can’t go in front of him with this dirty here I and for forgiveness every time but how log can he really forgive me I really need to get this pron this hell out of my life
Chris McKenna
Hi, you are never outside of God’s grace. It never ends. Runs out. Your individual sin is not greater than the cross. I start with these things because the enemy is a master of lies and he’s using them against you. That’s the Truth/Spirit side of things. On the flesh/world side of things, whatever you’re watching porn on when you’re alone has got to go. You can’t handle it – especially not alone. Don’t believe the lie that you can (trust me, I’ve believed that lie too many times). I don’t think there’s any more than just a very, very small group of men who can break free without deeply honest conversation and drastic actions (like removing devices and access). So, the choice is yours! I can’t force you to quit. It’s up to you.
May God give you grace. May grace fuel your efforts. And, may your efforts succeed.
Chris
Jessie
I want to quit watching porn please help.
dudari
i think both of us are facing the same problem because i tried to quit but it seems impossible
Noor
You neet take suggestions from your good friends and concentrate on different things when rise bad think in your mind .Dont think, dont alone when you feel guilty, try it may help you.
Skrrrt
I really need a friend to where I come from I’ll just get shunned behind doors if I ask someone to help me. I’m on twitter. Send me a dm I jueed help for the first month
Unknown devil
Don’t be afraid be quite and Do other things through whatever you can stay away from porn block all the sites too
Regards = Unknown ****
KPS
Highly Recommend a Christian Book “Theology of the Body”.
Describes God’s Gift of Sexuality and the Purposeful Design of the Body For Pleasure in a Marital Bond.
It reveals how Porn Perverts the Gift of Sexuality and the Pleasures God Intended Using our Sexual Nature as a Renewal of Marriage Vows.
Kyle
Hi i have been watching pornography since 6 years i cant stop watch, i want to stop though but everyday i watch porn and i mean everyday never had one without watching porn. i really want to stop but how its repeating like this up till now i need help
Moriah Bowman
Kyle,
Thank you for reaching out on this platform and asking for help! That is no easy thing to do, so I commend you in taking the first step towards recovery!
First, pray! Ask God to give you the strength to keep fighting against porn. Do you have a close friend or mentor whom you can reach out to for help? I have found that when I am struggling with sin (or anything in life!), having an ally to walk alongside me and pray for me makes a huge difference. They can also be a great part of using Covenant Eyes! You will be less tempted to watch porn, if you know that your friend will be notified when you do.
I am praying for you! Do not give up. We serve a mighty God!
Moriah
xender
relieve your mind of that stress of porn related stuff and tell yourself it is not worth it.
guys i am also 15 and addicted to porn,the maxim i can stay without watching is 5 days,but on the weekends i dont know what happens,i get a headache than my brain starts craving for porn..actually i hate porn Cuz it is not even real and those r just actors perfoming in a dirty industry..lets form a society and commit ourselves to stop the addiction amd prevent others to become addicted”TOGETHER WE CAN OVERCOME PORN”
Hey, I’m Sri , I am addicted to porn and i want to protect myself, i think i run after porn because of my loneliness, is there anyway you can help? and there is also this problem: a take a firm resolve to not to look at porn after looking at when i feel restless and i go in for help from God, but the very next day , i fall into the trap again, so please someone give me advice, i’m just 17 and this porn addiction affects my academics a lot.
Chris McKenna
Hello Sri, have you tried to apply any of the 6 steps that Dr. Weiss mentions in his blog post? Have you cleared house of the opportunities? It’s true that anything we try to fight ALWAYS fights us back, which is maybe why you struggle the very next day. Evil loves to make a fool of our promises to “never” do something again. But, God’s grace is fresh EVERY morning. If you truly want to quit, then it might involve some drastic measures, but it all depends on whether or not you really want to quit, which I hope you do. God is FOR you, and if that’s true, then who can be against you? (Romans 8:31).
-Chris
Covenant Eyes
Ceeayh
I’m always praying but the temptation gets stronger the more I pray
Chris McKenna
Hi David, I have found it to be exceedingly true that whatever I fight tends to fight me back. Maybe you’re experiencing something similar. When I was experiencing this, having someone I could talk to when I was being “triggered” or tempted was hugely important. James 5:16, “Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective.” I’m not saying that temptation by itself is sinful, but the sheer act of speaking things into the light is powerful to diminish the power of darkness. Have you prayed out loud? There’s something about the spoken word. Yell it out! Cry out to your God. Find that trusted friend. God is for you!
-Peace, Chris
Covenant Eyes
Isaiah Serna
Chris Mckenna;
Its Isaiah. I’ve tried the steps in videos and stuff like that, but the thing is, I’m dealing with a historical problem. If anyone’s wants to contact me and help me out, email me at isaiahserna407@yahoo.com, and I promise I’ll answer back. I hope I hear from people…..
Grace
Hi.
I’m Gaynor and I am 18 and female, I don’t know how it played out but I became addicted to porn/ masturbation. I started with just the normal lust at a young age 6 or 7 and it just became worse, I don’t know who to blame because my family is very spiritual and strong Christians, but when I told them once they thought I was possesed and that I needed cleansing.
They however did not solve the problem .
Till this day I have not told them because they would judge me and make me feel really bad and since I live with them every day I don’t think it will be easy to just say it again.
I grew up in a God fearing family but yet I have not felt the amazing power that everyone boasts about although I have seen work done from him.
I really want to stop because I feel like I live two separate lives.
There are not a lot of people who help females get over porn addictions and it’s sad because I don’t know any women who have come out, or they are afraid to come out.
I just need help!!! I want that deliverance but how am I going to get it if my own family cannot help me???
Kay Bruner
Hi there! Well, being possessed is probably not the issue here at all! I think you’re being wise to keep your information private from people who would misunderstand the issue and put into “treatment” that would not be helpful and in fact could be harmful. When you talk about “normal lust at age 6 or 7” I’m not really sure what you mean. I think it’s normal for us to explore our bodies for sure, but being overly sexualized at an early age is sometimes a sign of abuse. I can’t judge at all by what you’ve said here, but I’d really like to see you find a counselor who can help you process through your childhood experiences and help you understand your sexuality in a healthy way. You’re 18, so you’re fully able to find a counselor on your own. You don’t need anybody’s permission!
Counseling can be expensive, so here are some tips. If you are a student, many colleges/universities have free counseling services. If you live near a university that trains counselors, you may be able access affordable services even if you are not a student there. You can always, always ask a counselor if they work on a “sliding scale” which means an income-based fee system. Also, many communities have Family Resource Centers where affordable counseling services are available. Also, most insurance plans do include a certain number of counseling sessions per year.
The truth is that most of us as adults have to look outside our families for help like this. The good news is, though, that help is available!
Peace to you, Kay
Richard
Am having the same problem????
Uzor Chris
Im tired of this life.I want to quit it at all cost.
Chris McKenna
Hello, Chris – I’m deeply concerned about your comments about suicide – here’s the truth…you have unmeasurable value! Your life is a precious gift and a blessing to this planet. Please find someone you can talk to about your struggles. If you don’t have anyone you can talk to, and you start to have suicidal feelings again, promise me you’ll call this number: 1-800-273-8255.
God is for you! Chris, you can get through this, and it will be hard work, but it’s worth it. Remember the strength you have in Christ – Romans 8 can remind you. The cross of Jesus Christ IS strong enough to overcome everything. Even this.
porn has ruined my creativity and my personal relationship with Jesus but thanks be to God because He has used Jesus to set me free from porn. I wish success to everyone struggling to stop it,With God Everything is possible
.
J
Wow!!Im 14 and i also struggle with this…It’s affecting my life and i want to stop!…Thank you for this Great tips it helps seriously!…God can only help you if your willing to stop…Porn is starting to affect younger generations and children…We must pray so this will get an end…Thank you so much
Randi
There’s a couple of things I do to keep my mind off of pornography. 1 I have supper and game night on Wednesday night with a couple of friends and 2 I’ll have bible study once in a while at my place
Silvester Ndaigiri
Hi, guys, my name is Silvester and I have an addiction to porn and masturbation. I just finished highschool and I’ve got all this dreams that I have and I don’t see a future where I’ll be forced to look for porn just to live a happy satisfied life. The truth is I’m 17,living with my mum, who I even don’t want her to know that I have been watching porn and masturbation for close to five years now. She has caught me one time and she almost lost it. It would break my heart if it was to go back there again. Please,HELP ME BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.
Chris McKenna
Hello, Silvester – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. There might not be a stronger addictive force than sexual addiction. Which means, your own power might not be enough! You might need some kind of community to help you. Is there any other person you can talk to about this struggle? It’s so much easier, like the blog post says, to get honest with another person. What about a forum full of people who understand? Maybe nofap.com with Alexander Rhodes? There are 1,000s of men who will truly understand your struggle. Also, what about your device? What changes are you willing to make in order to close the porn doorways? You DO have some control here, but it will take a collection of specific actions.
Friend, I hope the very best for you. If you believe in the power of God, then keep turning to Him, cry out to Him. He never tires of hearing from his precious sons and daughters. No amount of struggle will ever surprise Him or make Him turn away from you. NOTHING. There’s always hope, Silvester. And, if I can help you in any other way, please let me know.
Warmly,
Chris
Covenant Eyes
lynne19
Hey jus wanting to quit watching porn is a great step and also working on the contigences tht can bring a relapse…..
If any need a friend to help i am here.
Martin
Hi, am 20 years and I have been caught captive by porn and masturbation. The harder I try to quit the more obsessed I become in it. If I could just get someone to share with in Twitter. I just need to to quit it at all costs and life normally just like others. Please DM @MartowhTuggieh
Chris McKenna
Hi, Martin – it’s well-known in therapy circles that whatever you obsessively try to quit actually becomes the very thing your mind fixates on all the more. You might require therapy to learn how to process your compulsions when they arrive.
I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Also, the blog post here provides some clear steps you can take, and too often, people overlook the first one which is to actually make a clear and effective decision to stop. If you don’t do that, then you won’t get rid of the smartphone or device that you’re using. What are you willing to do? You won’t be able to quit unless you’re willing to “gouge out the eye” or “remove the arm” if that’s the problem. God is for you and so am I!
Regards, Chris
Pritam
Please someone help me.. it’s been more than 10 years I’m watching porn.. i really do wanna quit watching porn.. and about the masturbation it’s became like always no gap.. please someone help me
Chris McKenna
Hello, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. What have you tried? The blog post lays out 6 essentials that usually lead to a more pure life. It won’t happen until you really, really, really want to quit. The first step is yours.
Chris
Newbie
I want to scream, every Advisor is the same! What’s annoying about all these types of advice is that every adviser/ preacher is married!!
You’ve got a wife so it’s fine for u. I and many young single guys wanna hear from someone who’s not married and not planning to get married any time soon. Someone who has attractive girls approaching and flirting with him.
Better yet someone who has a gf but doesn’t have per-marital. To someone who’s married and has a sexual output..ie sex with his wife
I hear you. When I was single, it was annoying to get advice from married men on this topic. I had to learn how to defeat pornography in my singleness, and it was a battle, to be sure.
Don’t despise the advice of married men, however. They were single once too, and they had to learn to fight temptation like any single man should. Instead, when talking to a married mentor about these thing, ask them to speak to you from their experience as a single man. Ask them to relay information that can help you, not just from their married vantage point.
You’re going to have to set some tough, clear boundaries. What’s more important, looking cool or your purity? I had a porn problem for 12 years. When I was coming out of it, my relationship with my girlfriend had to change. We shifted from a sexual relationship to practicing abstinence until we married over a year later. The only way that could work was if we set boundaries, boundaries such as avoiding being alone in a room with the door shut.
If you’re having difficulty with women, I will also advise you to shift towards focusing on your future wife. Instead of focusing on the girl that’s flirting with you, think if that’s the kind of person you’d want to spend the rest if your life with. Realistically, that’s how you need to view these girls that come up to you. Figure out what you want in your future spouse, if you’re a Christian then look for a Christ-centered woman, etc. Knowing what you’re looking for in a woman, and not settling for anything less, really helps you drown out the riffraff.
Hope this helps.
Kerri
Hi Newbie,
I know this post is over a year ago, so hopefully you have grown greatly and porn does not have the choke on you as it did, but I wanted to say a couple of things that hopefully can help you. I am a mother, and a wife of a husband who has struggled with this subject. I wanted to add to Christian’s comments below about thinking about your future wife, and the relationship you desire to have with her for the rest of your life. Imagine your marriage as an empty house. You get married, and together decide to decorate it, put your touch, stamp, and style on it. You both together think of creative ideas on how to make the house fit each others needs, function, and be beautiful for yourselves. So together you guys pick the “right” furniture from the store, paint the walls, add the accessories, and so on. Now compare that to porn. By watching it as a single person, you’re filling your mind with how sex should be, you’re already decorating that house and putting items in it that only fit to your taste, your needs, your wants, your fantasies instead of going through the fun, beautiful, and creative process of creating a unique sexual intimacy with your wife…or decorating that house. You’re creating in your mind expectations that your future wife may not be able to or be comfortable with fulfilling, you’re robbing yourself of the pure and creative intimacy that only you two can create that is absolutely unique to you guys. I hope this makes sense and speaks to your heart. Just remember, regardless of what you’ve seen, God can wash away the filth of it, and make your intimacy with your wife unique to guys when porn is out of the picture. Porn is a poisonous thief that has no heart or care for whom it hurts.
Jeremiah
Sure. I am married. And I have put my family through pains and trials of having been addicted to porn since the age of 4. 40 years later, I have ruined my marriage and family, having accidentally exposed my kids to porn a number of times and having lost my job a couple of years ago. Now I’m separated from my wife of 20 years and she told me that she is talking about divorce. It took this long for me to get serious about my addiction, and I hope and pray that the young gentlemen commenting on this page can look down the road and see the same things happening in their lives if they don’t find God’s true path for life NOW. Don’t ruin your life and others’ lives before you finally realize that it’s just not worth it.
James
I hear ya. How to be porn free sounds easier with a wife but really it’s no different. You think the same thing I thought if I ws married then I can have sex with my wife and this no poem problem.
Wrong.
100% wrong. It is worse.
Now I get mad at my wife or she is tired or she is busy etc but the ladies on the smartphone are always hit and horny. And free.
Now I see her as fat or not good on bed or undesirable because those porn girls are perfect. If I want one body type one day then some other fetish the next I just type it in and find scores of free videos at my fingertips.
So now it is just as hard to fight the xxx battle. But…
The stakes are higher. My wife wants to have sex with me and often I cannot perform. What?! You say that’s crazy. But it is because my mind sees those porn girls as being more attractive then my flesh and blood wife. My mind picks out every fault she has. Too this not enough that can’t do this and not good at that. Comparing her, a real human , to a trained actress on a xxx film getting paid to pretend and keep her body perfect, msybe even fake.
Porn causes me to lose track often at work and at home, go yo bed later than my wife and hate myself. I am a hypocrite. My litle girl scares me knowing she will grow up to be a woman that some one will look at and lust after the way I look at women, as objects of pleasure or fat ugly plain etc. ‘Shes got a nice’ this or that ‘she needs a little blah blah’ Men who have lust and xxx problems turn women into objects not people. Like looking at used cars or livestock for sale.
Plead don’t continue down thd porn rd. turn back now. Purify your heart and mind. Don’t think marriage will make it easier. Above all DONT MARRY IF YOU HAVE A XXX PROBLEM.
Hey there,am Joachim and am single.Guess you are satisfied now.Porn usage is evil and very demonic.Consuming porn is like exposing one’s body and soul to house demons.This has no good end as in the case of Sothom & Gomora.How to quit? First of all,the desire to want to quit porn usage should be instilled in you
You then need to pray fervently and ceaselessly for God’a divine intervention.
Phillip Kael Mabena
it’s okay email me… let’s talk about this.. let’s try to find a way. I’m not married, young 21 of age. my humble request.
Ceeayh
Porn is everywere… You basically have to close your eyes to not be tempted
.. This is hard… I don’t want to go to hell for watching t.v. are trying to stand and constantly falling for porn… I love God and his word but it is very hard
Isaiah Serna
Newbie;
I feel the same. I know and understand everything on what you’re going through, and I’m going through some similar stuff.
Deee
*THE SIN OF PONOGRAPH**
Porn was not made for entertainment or fun it
was made purposely to destroy both the actors
and their viewers. It feeds man with lust and
makes him hungry for more. That is what result
in masturbation and all abominable sexual act.
Ignorant men love to watch it for fun not
knowing that they are inviting demons of lust to
themselves. It is a great doorway for demonic
entrance. They don’t need to have spare keys to
be in your room. They only need you to watch
their product and they will come in through the
walls!. If you sit down alone to watch
something on the TV please have it in mind that
you are not alone.
There are evil beings looking out for your
weaknesses to attack you. When demons get to
know that you are weak in a particular area,
they will make it difficult for you to overcome
it. You will understand why people keep on
falling back into the same sin over and over
again!
The good news is, you can can still win and
overcome! in Jesus. Through discipline, prayer
and fasting. Otherwise, those demons will put
stumbling blocks in your paths to trap you so
we can’t afford to be careless friends. Too many
men are hooked to porn and are struggling to
overcome it after seeing the damaging side of it.
Even some pastors fall into it. We should know
that the actors are being used by demons to go
to that extreme to degrade their bodies. Married
men who get addicted to porn find it difficult to
sleep with their own wives, young men who are
not married will also masturbate.
Porn is very addictive, it is easy to watch but
hard to walk away from. They have labelled it
as “adult channel” it isn’t so it is abominable
channel!! A colleague of mine told me years
back that it is alright to watch porn with your
spouse if you are married, that was a lie! I disagreed with him. I wasn’t as ignorant as he was. If Jesus
wouldn’t watch why should we? knowing that
we are His bride and His temple.
People who watch porn end up having strong
irresistible sexual urges, because they have
invited the demon of lust to live in them. Once
the spirit brings up the desire you can’t stand the
pressure but do it with whoever you get,
whether your close relative, a child or even animal . This has
ended many into prison.
The rate at which sex offenders are increasing is
alarming in our society. Friends, close your eyes
from watching obscene pictures before it
destroys you. Some people have the nerves to
post porns on Christian sites on Facebook!!
Please delete or block such people straight
away! They are sending people to hell!. A man
who was addicted to porn confessed that his
whole life was destroyed by it. It distorted his
image on how he viewed women. He saw
women as nothing more than mere “sex
tools”
Romans 6:13
“Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead and your members of righteousness unto God”
What will help one to overcome this sin is the holy fear of God in a man, knowing that it will
be a shame to set your eyes on vulgar images
when the Lord is seated next to you. Porn is deadly, destroy it before it destroys you. Keep yourself pure!!!
Franca
I’m just 16 and i’m totally crippled with vulgar thoughts. I love a girl, but i don’t want lust to get into my love. I’ve been recently addicted to pornography. I have my dream to be fulfilled. But this addiction isn’t leaving me. Through this i may lose my family members, my love, my dream and even myself. So please i need your help to get my mind out of these things………
Chris McKenna
Hi, Franca, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. If you’re a Christian, I’d encourage you to read where the Bible talks about pure and controlled thoughts. Philippians. 2 Corinthians. Taking them captive. Then, look back at the list of 6 things in the blog post and see where you need to close a door to porn or try something different. If you truly do the things the blog post suggests, then you can live porn-free.
Hi. I am a girl and I’ve been watching porn since I was twelve. I don’t know how to stop and I’m too scared to get an accountability partner because I feel like I will be judged. How do I go about this?
Don Chezel
For those who want to quit watching porn, it will not be easy to do so, but it can be done. No one can help you stop watching porn. Not the covenant eye, not your counselor, not even your loved ones.w Only you can stop yourself from watching porn. It will take some time. You will have your fails, but that should never stop yourself from continuing to move forward. When you fall down, pick yourself up and dust yourself off, your fine. Keep moving! To be honest, I just got done watching so pornography, and had a little fun. Am I going to hate myself for it, sure. There is nothing wrong with that, but the fact is I know that it isn’t over. I’m 21 years old and I know that I could break this. I refuse to give up. Now seeing so many people with this problem, I will quit watching porn and engaging in self pleasure. I promise or my life depends on it. To all of those who are willing to fight, your not alone.
carly
hi,
Im a girl and have been an addict as long as i can remember. God is my everything and many times i have turned to Him for help but i always seem to relapse. I have a boyfriend of 2 years with whom i am not sexually active which makes it harder. He’s struggling with masturbation and I with porn addiction. He talks to me about his problem but he doesn’t know about mine. He had a porn addiction too but has quit over 3 years ago and he said he finds people that watch it disgusting hence me keeping quiet. I feel like a hypocrite as i am viewed as a strong believer by my peers and friends and my family also frowns upon this(Christian home). I feel too ashamed to pray after as i feel i abuse of Gods grace and forgiveness which puts a huge blockage on my spiritual life. please help….. God bless!
Do you have any women in your life you can speak with about this issue? I know this can be very difficult for a woman to talk about because of the stigma of porn being a “guy thing,” but there are many, many women out there in your shoes. I highly recommend you contact Jessica at Beggar’s Daughter about this. Her ministry is dedicated to women just like you.
Riley
Hi Carly I seem to be stuck in this same situation. I feel I have no one to turn to and I feel that I take God for granted a lot. I have gone in head first about curbing my addiction by doing things like if I feel like I’m about to watch it I go for a long run/jog. I hope we can communicate and morally support each other as this issue worries me also everyday.
How did you stop? I am interested because your situation is exactly what I am going through.
D
I RELAPSE EVERY 5 TO 7 WEEKS. IT IS VERY GRAPHIC PORN. THE STRANGE THING IS I REALLY DON’T LIKE. I FIND IT STUPID. I AM VULNERABLE WHEN I AM DEPRESSED. WHEN I GET MY FINANCIAL HOUSE TOGETHER AND START TRAVELING AGAIN, I AM CERTAIN IT WILL GO AWAY. I LOVE ASTRONOMY, THAT HELPS A LITTLE. I WOULD LIKE SOME RESPONSES TO RELAPSE SOLUTIONS.
Hey.Am single guy,27yrs have been struggling with this kind of a thing for 4yrs now,stops & but then tempted back.Even am ashamed of myself.The lord have been good to me has saved me from (death)accidents more than three times.my workmates view me as a godly man but deep within me, am rotting.But from today henceforth I declare am not going back to porno again in Jesus Mighty Name.I believe the devil knows that I have a good destiny so he tries very hard to cut it short.Pls Holy spirit help me to overcome I don’t want to miss the rupture of the church
Moses
hello carly.I face that problem many times.every one knows I am perfect but I am not.but I came to realise that laziness and idleness has a lot to play.lack of the word and life without prayers has a lot to do.our spiritual life should not be defined by our church activities but by our times in the closet with God.if we spend more time with God then it Will go a long way to help.I am safe now because of that.
Bradley
Hi carly,
When reading your comment I found myself relating completely to your situation as I too am a Christian with a Christian upbringing. I also find myself hypocrital of myself because my addiction to porn contradicts my beliefs and I know the guilt I feel when I know I should pray but am too ashamed because I took his grace for grantid after indulging just the night before.
My point is that although I don’t have a magic wand to get rid of the struggle, I do think it helps to know you are not alone. Don’t give up praying as God has not given up on you.
Deee
*THE SIN OF PONOGRAPH**
Porn was not made for entertainment or fun it
was made purposely to destroy both the actors
and their viewers. It feeds man with lust and
makes him hungry for more. That is what result
in masturbation and all abominable sexual act.
Ignorant men love to watch it for fun not
knowing that they are inviting demons of lust to
themselves. It is a great doorway for demonic
entrance. They don’t need to have spare keys to
be in your room. They only need you to watch
their product and they will come in through the
walls!. If you sit down alone to watch
something on the TV please have it in mind that
you are not alone.
There are evil beings looking out for your
weaknesses to attack you. When demons get to
know that you are weak in a particular area,
they will make it difficult for you to overcome
it. You will understand why people keep on
falling back into the same sin over and over
again!
The good news is, you can can still win and
overcome! in Jesus. Through discipline, prayer
and fasting. Otherwise, those demons will put
stumbling blocks in your paths to trap you so
we can’t afford to be careless friends. Too many
men are hooked to porn and are struggling to
overcome it after seeing the damaging side of it.
Even some pastors fall into it. We should know
that the actors are being used by demons to go
to that extreme to degrade their bodies. Married
men who get addicted to porn find it difficult to
sleep with their own wives, young men who are
not married will also masturbate.
Porn is very addictive, it is easy to watch but
hard to walk away from. They have labelled it
as “adult channel” it isn’t so it is abominable
channel!! A colleague of mine told me years
back that it is alright to watch porn with your
spouse if you are married, that was a lie! I disagreed with him. I wasn’t as ignorant as he was. If Jesus
wouldn’t watch why should we? knowing that
we are His bride and His temple.
People who watch porn end up having strong
irresistible sexual urges, because they have
invited the demon of lust to live in them. Once
the spirit brings up the desire you can’t stand the
pressure but do it with whoever you get,
whether your close relative, a child or even animal . This has
ended many into prison.
The rate at which sex offenders are increasing is
alarming in our society. Friends, close your eyes
from watching obscene pictures before it
destroys you. Some people have the nerves to
post porns on Christian sites on Facebook!!
Please delete or block such people straight
away! They are sending people to hell!. A man
who was addicted to porn confessed that his
whole life was destroyed by it. It distorted his
image on how he viewed women. He saw
women as nothing more than mere “sex
tools”
Romans 6:13
“Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead and your members of righteousness unto God”
What will help one to overcome this sin is the holy fear of God in a man, knowing that it will
be a shame to set your eyes on vulgar images
when the Lord is seated next to you. Porn is deadly, destroy it before it destroys you. Keep yourself pure!!!
PLS SHARE TO SAVE A SOUL??
Logan
Hi, I do not know you, and I can’t give advice because I am struggling with this right now, but your story really touched me and I will be praying for you. I hope you Succeeded in quitting after all these years, but Good luck to you if you haven’t yet. May God help you on your journey through this
Karan
I came to this site searching for a solution similar to what many are facing here.
And Carly, your situation literally brought tears in my eyes. I felt my porn related problem is nothing in front of yours.
By the way, I couldn’t get the girl whom I loved for years together :( (we can call it as an One Sided Love!).
So I have no one to confess or to get support :(. I am very very depressed.
I sometimes follow this addiction to forget HER memories…
I don’t even find any help from so called friends around me. I don’t even want to call them all my friends.
Yeah please if anyone wants to be friends with me, or can give me support in this moment, I will pray to God that you all live longer and happiest.
Please help…….
Kilopo
Hey I’m also a porn addict and I want to quit too all I can think about is sex what do I do?
Chris McKenna
Have you tried any of the “essential steps” in the article?
Yeah for all of those people who are out there who are desperately trying to purge away the great temptation and sin of porn the top three things I recommend is reading the Bible and Most of all the Book of Mormon they teach about the purity and love of Christ who can help you overcome any challange.
Second I would ask in faith with a sincere disire to be healed and don’t be afraid to lean on a friend for help
I wish you all the best Spencer
Jayson
Faithful & True Ministries, Mark Laaser.
Attend their 4 day workshop, get the tools you need, and don’t stop utilizing them. Work through a 12 step program = staying sober, stop making daily phone calls, going to SA meetings (Pure, or LIFE, meetings), stop counseling, start isolating, you’ll be acting out and looking at porn in no time. Put anything else before your recovery, and you will loose it.
As soon as I stopped utilizing what I learned at the Laaser group, I fell off the recovery wagon in no time flat. Back on it, hope to have my family back soon, daily calls and meetings for life!
Covenant Eyes is the best software out there. What it can’t do is stop me from acting out. I don’t need porn for that. It’s a great tool for blocking access, haven’t found another one out there as good.
If someone wants to access Porn, Having a block on their computer will be a good way to stop it at that access point. Having the same block on a smart phone or ipod touch will do the same. That solves two hot spots for porn access. Now, for the Porn addict, there are only a few thousand more even in a small town like mine. If the Porn addict wants to find it, they will, and the only thing that will stop them, is if they use a tool in their action plan, —->before<—— they get into the cycle of addiction. Once they are actively seeking out a Porn shop, or what ever, it's too late, barring an unexpected phone call, or boulder falling on their car. Look up the cycle of addiction.
I think that Dr. Weiss has 6 good steps, but the ilnformation/advise behind each step, is lacking, and needs elaboration. The titles themselves are Really good, take for instance Number two:
+++you have to be willing to do things you haven’t done before.+++ – – Very true
""""Seriously, if you keep quitting the same way, you’re likely to fail again. To quit, you have to give up what you’ve been doing and do what you have to do.""""
This is unhelpful, thought provoking at best. "Do what you have to do"? — An addict has at some point, if they do want to not be an active Porn addict, or Sex Addict, tried a lot of different things. They don't have any idea what they have to do, to become sober.
My ex husband (now) left me and our children 5 yrs ago due to porn addiction. He has been addicted since age 12 and he is now 45. Is it wrong for me to have hope for us again? What are the chances he will or could be porn free? He does not seem happy. He did when he first left for a while, but now he seems very depressed and unhappy. Should I just move on to better or wait on him to possibly want to come back. Should I even take him back IF he wanted to come back? Please help. Confused…
That’s a hard one. I think I know what the “right” answer is, but its based on a lot of “what ifs.” I think it is always good to hope for your ex-husband: love always hopes (1 Corinthians 13:7). I cannot answer the question about you remarrying: that is something you need to come to your own convictions about. No doubt your husband is depressed. Since he’s been addicted to porn for over three decades and is now cut off from his family, I imagine he’s in a very low, self-absorbed place right now. There is still hope for him, but he needs to be broken over this thing. That is something you can pray for him.
Do you have support in all of this? I imagine this has taken quite a toll on you.
C
We have no support on this issue and don’t even understand how he could leave us over strangers. How could he do it and seem so happy about leaving? He isn’t happy now, but was SO happy when he came to visit with the kids for a few hours Monday to give them Christmas presents. The kids said they have never seen him that happy since he left. Strange… Why??? Why won’t he say he’s sorry? Why won’t he beg me to come back? Why do other men say their sorry and beg to come back? Why do some never leave? These are just some of the many questions the children and I have that have still not been answered. We have a great need to understand this, have these questions answered, etc. I don’t know if I should wait on him or try to move on. Most people just say “I can’t believe you would even want him back” or “You would never trust him again” or “You couldn’t trust him with your children or any children”… I will say that he was very inappropriate with my oldest daughter before he left us (not his daugher) My private investigator even found child porn on my hard drive of the computer he used. In court, my ex said it was an “accident” . I am so grateful for your response, as NO one has ever talked with me about these things and I just can’t get past it and need someone to explain things to me about porn addition. I honestly thought he was crazy about me and truly loved me. How could I have been so wrong and blind? Please don’t be “scared off” by my e-mail. I really need my questions answered and understand that yours may be your opinion and I’m ok with that. Please respond. Thank you so much. Gina
You haven’t scared me off, Gina. Thanks for replying.
I do think some understanding of the overall nature of porn addiction would be very helpful to you. It will at least help you to understand your husband. Here are some links that might be a help to you.
You are asking a lot of very hard questions. There are many reasons for his state of mind right now: his pride, his hard-heartedness, etc. It is heart-breaking how this is impacting your children.
I highly recommend you find a counselor in your local area you can talk to. You can look for a local counselor here. Right now you need to get some timely wisdom for how to talk to your kids, how to help them have hope, and most of all, how to help your own heart to heal.
Ceeayh
I know the felling… I love God and don’t want to be disowned… I still keep praying hoping it would leave … God have Mercy
Hey c I was addicted and my girlfriend left me but I got my act together and chaced her to the end of the earth and then married her I suggest you stay open but keep him in mind
This disease is killing youth today. Porn is a evil things. Best away to over come is to surrender almighty Allah. Believe me Islam is a solution for this. If you become addicted than you will start fasting from sunrise to sunset, all you feeling will be down.
James
I committed spiritual suicide in 2011 due to my porn addiction. Do whatever it takes to STOP immediately lest you lose your soul like me. I was a porn addict for 8 years and one horrific night I willfully persisted in porn and became demon possessed and committed the unpardonable sin. God left me 2 years ago and now I live in constant fear, despair and regret. If only I would have told a friend about my addiction.
James, is there any way I can e-mail with you? I think I know what you’re talking about and have feared similarly…
God loves
Remember James that the only unforgivable sin is not accepting God into your life. I used to believe the same thing as you but as you read scriptures and look for God more you will come to realize His truth more. I don’t know if you actually are possessed by a demon or not but if so COMMAND IT OUT LOUD TO LEAVE YOU BY THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB, BY THE LORD JESUS CHRIST. I understand life is tough but remember that even if you have committed this “unforgivable sin” just accept Jesus into your heart, proclaim Him as Lord of your life, and tell Him that you need him and won’t make it without His help. Of course mean it with all your heart
porn edicted
james their is no such thing as losing the lord just ask for forgivness and he will grant it the bible says that Gods free gift of grace
James Luchs
I was SO obstinate and the urges were so strong that particular night I WANTED TO DO IT NO MATTER WHAT COST. I didn’t care about the consequences. It was deliberate sin against my better judgment. My addiction had spiraled out of control (which I am culpable for) and culminated in such INTENSE LUST that I HAD to have it. Satan found an opportune time to try to take my soul and I surrendered. At the height of my lust, I said I would give my soul for this. I have repented but there has been no restoration. God has left me because I left Him. I hope my downfall serves as a warning to those engaged in this sin. There are ETERNAL consequences. STOP. CONFESS IT. Become ACCOUNTABLE.
I agree there are eternal consequences. But I urge you not to stand in the place of God in this situation. The Bible does speak of people being brought to a place where it is impossible to restore them to repentance (Hebrews 6:4-6), but you should not stand in judgement over yourself as to whether you have truly “fallen away.” You say you have offered Satan your soul, but do not think this is an unbreakable pact. The Lord honors no such pacts between men and the devil, or otherwise men would never be delivered from demonic powers. Whole nations have committed themselves to false gods only to be later redeemed by the power of the Gospel.
If the enemy convinces you that all hope is lost, this will keep you enslaved all the more. What if God wants to make you a trophy of his grace? What if years from now you can stand before others and say, “God’s grace is so far-reaching, he can even save those who gave up all hope, those who committed their souls to Satan, those who were totally lost in sin”?
My advice to you is:
1. Remember, there would not be a spark of conviction and pain over what your sin has done between you and the Lord if God had truly abandoned you. People who are totally given over to their sin have no such convictions (Romans 1:24-32).
2. Find someone who can help you reason through passages of Scripture about this situation, someone who can help you understand the nature of sin and God’s redemptive promises.
3. Find the accountability you so desperately need for this sin.
4. Divorce yourself from all access to lustful images.
5. Read, read, read. Read as much as you can about porn addiction and recovery from it. Fill your mind with truth.
6. Pray, pray, pray. Ask God to show you the way out. Cry out to him. Believe me, I felt just like you at one point in my life, and I thought I had prayed a million times with no answer. But God is good and heard my cry, even when I was in my Egypt.
K
James, please reply/contact me if you see this…
Rosie
God will never leave you nor forsake you! He hasn’t left. Seek him and put him first. Pray ceaselessly. Never give up. As long as you’re alive, do not give up! Seek help from Christian friends and family. True Christians who will remind you that GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, NOR FORSAKE YOU.
Chris
James, it’s clear you sinned with your words while intoxicated with lust. You weren’t of sober mind. Much like booze and drugs, the enemy can lead us from our God given nature through stumbling blocks.
It’s doesn’t sound to me like your heart backs up what your words said. God measures us by our heart. He knows you better than you know yourself. If you still desire to connect with him, he’ll still be there, but the enemy with not want you to see this. He’ll try and bog you down in guilt, shame and fear. This is not if God. I think the unpardonable sin is a heart that’s turned away from the Holy Spirit, with no desire to go back. This clearly isn’t you.
Please try again to connect with God and keep trying everyday. Faith isn’t a feeling, it’s a decision.
I will pray for you.
Shree
Hello James, really awakend me by your sentences….Even I have been struggling from Porn,…I do admit that I love God all by my heart but Satan always makes me stumble by the relapses….Ofcourse once I almost gave up and even struggling today too but I will not give up on God , please if you want to stand again be sure to email me….I will try my best by the grace of God to accompany you….
Todd
I’ve been an addict since the end of my last relationship 3 years ago, It was my solution for not just having sex with just any random person, I need to feel a connection with someone. So I figured porn would be my stand in and now I am hooked,(3-4 times a day for hours when I’m relapsing) I’ve tried to quit multiple times, never lasting more than 4 weeks.(I just failed on day 4 this time) I want to get better but my withdraw symptoms get real intense, I feel unbelievably horny and I can’t seem to think straight or catch my breath. I also get flue like symptoms for the first week or so. How long do I have to hold out for the withdraw symptoms to subside. I can’t connect with anyone, especially with girls now and I really like for that to change.
Withdrawal symptoms are due to the withdraw of hormones and neurotransmitters being activated in your system. The the worst of those symptoms will take at least two weeks to subside for many guys. For others it can last a month.
In the early weeks, take radical actions to get distance from porn. Get rid of computers, smartphones, tablets. Or get accountability software on your devices and have the Internet report sent to someone who can help you. When you are thinking clearest, that’s the time to shore up and protect yourself. Don’t wait until you are weak and hope you make the right decision.
fighter
Can I get rid from porn in gradually method ????? Not in one time at once but in step by step way……..
Can you? Perhaps. Should you? No. For one, this isn’t the most God-honoring way to get rid of it. Second, it is doubtful whether you’ll be able to just “cut back” without overindulging or cheating. Third, experience shows it doesn’t help in the rewiring of the brain to just wean yourself off.
‘
Adolph Gumunyu
l’ve been addicted to porn since l was 10 years old and now i’m now 19 and it still torments me.l want to quit caused i’m losing my faith in God and l now lack the confidence to approach ladies.l need help
I don’t know the details of your story, but I think there are a lot of things you can do to get started.
First, there’s a book you can get for free called Your Brain on Porn (you can download a digital copy right now). Read it and think of ways you can begin to put it into practice.
Second, I highly recommend you talk to good Christian friends about this issue. You need accountability in your life. Who have you told about this? If you need ideas, you can download another free book called Coming Clean. It is all about how accountability can overcome the power of lust.
fine gee
I have been addicted to porn and masturbation for 5 yrs now. I was 16 and a virgin when it all started. That means I broke my ‘virginity’ with porn and it’s very true , cos I had my first ever ejaculation to porn. and it was the very first porn I watched. I have real sex too but I don’t enjoy sex with the women/girls, rather, I enjoy ejaculating with porn…. I don’t like it that way though……. I don’t know if there are stupid and foolish people who are like me on earth. As a result of my addiction,I seem to have a very low self esteem, am becoming less confident and shy and it’s very difficult ,yes extremely difficult to approach girls. I only do approach them when am drunk. I really need to stop masturbating, I need to eliminate porn. I want to stop please, ×crying×. I. want to stop, someone please help me.
There is a verse in Romans 8v25. Sin is in the heart of every person; but not in our mind. Romans 8v25 tell us with the mind i serve GOD and with the flesh sin. How will this work is daily practice; take your mind and separate it from your heart/fresh. How is this possible? Your mind is your thinking tool, when you feel the burning in your heart to look at porn, dont let your thinking tool ponder on it, but take your thinking tool and think about GOD; then your mind will serve GOD and the flesh will serve porn. Your power is in the mind, its a neutral place where you can bruise the head of porn everytime. Abram open the gates of hell within mankind when he disobey GOD commandments is why we all have sin.
kudzinet
i know i may have replied way later from when you sent this, but this may help somebody else:
do not think you are hopeless , you are not stupid, the devil only wants you to think so and that is why he would like you to continue this evil, so that you may think that God has forsaken you and that he has disowned you. But tell you what: God loves you and each morning he wakes you up alive is an opportunity he is giving you to change your ways. Do not give up, God will see that you are trying so hard and will give you strength to overcome. You may not immediately stop but with time God will help you to come up victorious. Keep on praying, tell yourself that you are a child of God and you love Him.
One church pastor told me that we should not have discussions with the devil. When Eve was tempted in the garden of Eden, it was because she considered what the devil had said and she discussed with him.She should have run away immediately, just like joseph who ran away from Portiphr’s wife. So when the thought crosses your mind to watch this evil, run away from it immediately, don’t give the devil time to give you such suggestions.
the other advice is: when everyone else is going to sleep, go to sleep as well because temptations come when you are alone.
Robert Parker
Hi, i have been on porn for 2 years now and im quite dissappointed on my porn and masturbating habits. Whenever i masturbate and look porn, i realize about what i have been doing and i sometime cry and ask for forgiveness, but the result is same, after 1 or 2 days that awful spirit is always back and i’m sick and tired of it plzzzz hellllpppppp!!
Tell me more. What have you done to stop this habit?
StrugglingInMA
And if you want to give up porn but aren’t sick and tired of it, then what? Also, I can’t confide or be accountable to a guy friend because I’m addicted to gay porn.
Good questions. First, I would ask you: Do you at least wish you were sick and tired of it? The fact that you aren’t sick and tired of it but you know that you aren’t is exactly where you need to be: you are coming face to face with your own helplessness, which is exactly where God comes to rescue us. Watch this video with Christian counselor Winston Smith about this idea.
Second, the only way I know to be truly free from porn always begins with brutal honesty before other people. Yes, you could tell someone and they might reject you, or they might show you love and support, but either way, until you push through the what-if fears and talk to someone, you’ll forever be hiding in the dark. You could always look for a counselor to talk with as well, if you are willing to go that route.
Anonymous
May I leave some advice here? I am a Christian person, raised in a Christian family, still I have to struggle with the fight against pornography, and still as a married man I have to said that the battle goes on, that doesnt mean we are disapprobed since in this time and in specially this era the devil has found many wicked ways to keep dragging more and more people into this trap, but if you are honest and admitted the problem I think is the best place to start, being honest with yourself and really be determined to fight for purity. I have a quite story for you young guys, I am not so old myself, only 26 but I have to live with the nightmare of having my dad to store pornographic movies, and a lot of them, that disturbed me as a child, knowing that is for sure that the addiction I developed was so early, that lead me to lots of porn, after many years going back and forth on the faith I finally had the worst nightmare one could ever have, and this is were the danger begins, pornography as different to other sins works its way into the soul, that is when you read in the new testament that any sin commited outside of the flesh stay out of it, but any other commited again your own body stay within it (1 Corinthians 6:18), so what that means is that it becomes a never ending search for pleasure because everything is never going to be enough in porn and many are dragged to homosexuality, bestiality and other forms of sex you would never thought of going, but since the new testament also talks about a group of sinners that experience the deeps of satan, (Revelation 2:13) this is talking to us of the way one could be pulled in the well of darkness, so my experience was this: after being actively addicted to porn for almost a year constantly I became aware of the need to experience something real, so I went out in search of a women, a prostitute, after many hours of chatting and planning I went to hell to have something with her, being in the room I decided not to do anything but she was used by satan and I was seduced, the result could be death itself, I repent myself and open the truth to my christian girlfriend, we cry out a lot, I had to go and perform VIH test just to be sure even wearing protection that this haven´t gone into any more sadly tragedy and justice from God from my unrighteous way of living, thanks to his mercy and kindness and healthy and live for his Glory and Grace, I was saved from death itself and that days were the most fearful, sad and worrying of my life, It felt just like if I was sick and was going to die and this feeling I pray in Jesus you never had to go trought it to learn the lesson, really the bible is serious when it says that sin could lead you to death, that it is why we have to commite ourselves, I encourage you to take a firm position on this matter, for your sake, and I hope this could ring your ears every time temptation is coming, it is really a hard way to learn but the love of God has no limits, the sin cloud your judgment and eyes and change the reality base on the premises needs of the flesh, I work now as a minister on a church, I study theology and God has lead me to great things in service on His beloved church, I am more than able and a champion to conquer this world and you also are, not in our strenght but in Jesuschrist, God Bless you.
English 101 has taught me that if you want to be persuasive, you shouldn’t make a run on sentence that long. It indicates a lack of education. Also, The pope himself on homosexual marriage said “If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?”. Statements that compare homosexuality to bestiality are harmful to people who are gay, which is not Christian. I’ve met many gay people, and none of them became gay from watching porn. Porn is harmful, but it doesn’t turn you gay. If you like gay porn, you are gay and always have been since you were born. Any amount of research should show you that when they expose straight men to gay porn, it does not make them gay. I’ve seen gay porn, and it didn’t do anything for me. If they do something for you, you are gay or bisexual, and there is nothing wrong with that. Anti-gay statements like that turn people away from Christ, thereby un-spreading the word of god.
What helped me stop watching porn was to hang out with friends a lot. I wouldn’t call what I had a porn addiction, but it is defiantly hard to masturbate or watch porn next to an anti-porn feminist friend during a sleep over. Just schedule constant hang outs for a while, and the worst of it will be over soon. It’s fun because your hanging out with friends, so there’s no temptation to not call some guy. I think this is definitely something worth trying.
As a side note, if you end up having sex with someone/making love, you should at least use a condom. Before you think about having a baby, consider all of the children who are starving. If you have a baby, the food will only become more scarce, and more children will die. Please consider adoption.
Just A Teen
@tom: I believe he had a good heart and his teachings were in line with what the Word has to say. I believe that he has a testimony that should be shared, not squashed. He was vulnerable so that people like myself might learn, not so that he could have a grammar lesson. I believe he is right; watching porn will make you crave for more until you start to experiment with things we never we believed we were capable of. Where does “harmless” porn lead to? looking for hookers. Where does that lead? You see where I’m going. Also, he wasn’t being anti-gay by throwing homosexuality with bestiality. He was stating a point. It’s no different from throwing “alcoholism” and “lying” together; sin is sin. He was just narrowing it down to sexual sins.
I appreciate that you are standing up for what you think is right, but I didn’t say porn is good, or that the heart of what he’s saying is wrong. porn is bad because it may lead to hookers (I don’t know, but it seems reasonable), rape (studies are inconclusive, but the inroduction of porn has been correlated with sexual violence in America), disrespect for women, ect. Porn is corrosive to a healthy mind in my opinion. I think that God would disprove of porn for these reasons and more. I Quit it in the name of God and equal rights for women (feminism). If you want to quit, it helps to remind yourself not only of God, but also of your other moral obligations, and of your friends and partners that you hurt.
About homosexuality, why isn’t YOUR sexuality a sin? You were born with it just like any homosexual, bisexual, demihomosexual, greyhomosexual, asexual, demiheterosexual, greyheterosexual or pansexual. You can no more help who you are sexually attracted to than any of them. Maybe if homosexuals felt able to form relationships without judgment, they wouldn’t feel the need to use porn. What did Jesus want in us more than love anyway? Have you read the passage about homosexuality in the context of the bible? I could also use quotes out of context from God’s word to say anything. Like that when you plant seeds, you shouldn’t put them in upside down, or incest is good.
I want you to know that I’m not attacking you. I love everyone. But please don’t say that homosexuality is a sin because that hurts people.
Just A Teen
But I do see what you’re saying about hanging out with friends. It’s definitely a lot easier to get together with friends to take your mind off of porn than it is to try and call someone. There is always that temptation to skip out on accountability when you can just stay under the radar when you are in the middle of heavy temptation.
Just A Teen
Sorry, I don’t think I stated my point correctly, my bad. Also, I appreciate you clarifying that you are not attacking, and I apologize if I came off over-defensive. That definitely wasn’t my intention. I meant that I believe that porn could lead someone to struggle with homosexuality if your flesh begins to crave more and more of something that cannot be provided. Does that make sense what I mean? Also, I understand what you mean that people are born with certain tendencies, such as what you pointed out. However, I don’t believe that being born with a tendency is an indication of that tendency being okay. For example, take someone born with a tendency to alcohol. Just because he has a tendency toward alcohol doesn’t mean he should drink until he shoots his liver out. Or take a less extreme and more common example: people born with ADD. They have a tendency to swing to different extremes, be stubborn, out of control of their emotions, etc. Just because someone has a tendency toward ADD doesn’t mean they should act out those symptoms. They need to lean on Adonai for strength and support to overcome this obstacle. The same goes with homosexuality. I agree with you; people can definitely take Scripture and use it for their own purposes. But the Bible has countless stories where God specifically states his opposition of homosexuality. Take Sodom and Gomorrah as an example of this. They were called wicked cities for the various evils they did in the sight of God, and among them was homosexuality, and were eventually burned off the face of the Earth. I understand that these kinds of bold statements can be hard and even offensive to many people, but truth was never said to be easy or politically correct. Jesus wasn’t killed for just being a nice guy, right? He wasn’t everyone’s best buddy; in fact he had a long list of people he ticked off big time, which led to his gruesome execution. All this because he spoke truth. While I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings (trust me, it’s the last thing I want) sometimes I have to state what’s right and true, even in the face of stirring things up and ticking people off. I hope you can see this.
Thanks,
Teen
P.S. I also wanted to let you know that I do agree with you; a good thing to do is think of how porn affects others, not just yourself. Just wanted to throw that in…
Did you just compare yourself to Jesus? Lol. Thank you for a response. I know what you mean, but if homosexuality is a sin, shouldn’t we let God be the judge? Jesus said judge not lest ye be judged right? Which Bible do you read from BTW? For all we know homosexuality could have been a sin in the past because there weren’t enough people. It wouldn’t be anymore now that children are starving because there are to many people eating. Homosexuality used to be a disadvantage for your town, now its an advantage for everybody. And It’s definitely not a choice. I have ADHD (thank you for talking about our problems by the way) so I know what your getting at, and it’s not the same. I have tried to find homosexuals attractive so I could know if it could be done. It turns out you can’t will yourself into another identity. I have a number of friends who are queer. I have friend’s who are gay, who are bisexual (they are pretty and not undecided by the way, she IS attracted to males and females), who are asexual (no one turns him on no matter how hard he tries, and this has been true since he was born). Many of them have all tried to be nonqueer because people judge them, but that’s not something you have control over. Knowing and accepting who your attracted to and why is a very important part of getting over your porn addiction. My homosexual friends just ended up in relationships with people they didn’t love, watching porn to sate their sexuality that they couldn’t sate with their fake partner. When they acknowledged their homosexuality, they got into relationships and quit porn. Everyone was much happier. I think you may be gay, bisexual, pansexual, or polysexual if you are resisting your sexual attraction to your own gender. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of. I find it hard to believe God would judge you badly for the way he made you. God loves us. But if God would judge you, again, that’s for God to do and not us.
Interesting insights. If I understand you right, someone is foolish for reading the Bible in a way that leads to the conclusion that homosexuality is a sin. Is that your premise? You are saying that because homosexuality used to be disadvantageous and therefore was labeled wrong by Biblical authors, but now it isn’t. I think you might be hard-pressed to show that this is the case from the Bible.
I don’t disagree with you that homosexuality might have a genetic or biological component to it. This certainly may be the case, although I think it is more a question for science to discover. However, to say one is genetically predisposed to being homosexual or bisexual and to say God is alright with people living a homosexual lifestyle are two very different matters. For instance, I don’t believe anyone is biologically wired for monogamy: lusting for people who aren’t your spouse seems to be something inborn in all or at least most of us. That does not mean, therefore, it is not a sin. The Bible is pretty clear on this: since the Fall of humanity, we are born corrupt.
Just A Teen
There are actually two ways we can judge people: by their hearts and by their fruits. True, we are to leave judging up to God; however, the Bible states that it is only “[God] who judges the hearts of men”. Jesus did say, “Judge not lest ye be judged” but if you go back a bit, you will find he is talking to/about those who were acting hypocritical (Pharisees, Sadducees, etc). He is telling them to make sure that their relationships are first in line with God (especially in the area you are judging) before you throw about accusations. He is also teaching people to be a little more gracious and less legalistic.
It actually also says in the Bible that we can “judge a man by his fruits”. If I see a pastor who is in an affair and cheating on his wife, then it is our jobs as fellow believers to correct him for his shortcomings (we have to judge his fruit). This does have to be done respectfully and with the love of God, and not out of a sense of condemnation, but that’s a whole other conversation. However, the minute I start saying to people or myself that he, for example, probably doesn’t even love God or his wife enough to straighten out, I have then shifted the playing field from judging his fruit (he is having an affair; I need to respectfully say something) to judging his heart (he is a hypocrite who doesn’t even love his wife or God). Make sense? Also, Jesus himself judged people’s fruit and actions. He didn’t go to the temple and just flip out and overturn the whole darn place just for his health. He did it because He was righteously angered. This was Him judging the people for what they had done to His temple. Now, if Jesus is who He says He is, then that makes Him the perfect example for how we should live our lives, right? Why would he judge the fruits of others, and not expect us to follow suit?
Homosexuality was/is a sin to God because it takes the good that he created in the beginning and warps it out if His original design (which I am sure you have heard before). Your comparison between homosexuality and starvation would be a good one except for one thing: even if homosexuality was created out of a lack of partners, it still would be evil because it warps God’s intended plan and purpose. Kids starving is not something warped; it doesn’t take what was good and make it evil. It is an indicator that it’s time for people with resources to step up and help. However, if these starving kids began eating each other to survive and stave off starvation, then we have entered the realm of twisting things. However, by saying “for all we know…” and “what if…” we have left the reality o things and entered into hypothetical. I could say, “What if aliens came down from space and brainwashed all of Sodom and Gomorrah to be homosexual? Then homosexuality couldn’t be their fault”. We don’t know the details of how homosexuality came to be, but that is not the main focus; the focus is “Is homosexuality a sin?”. How did bestiality come to be? If you don’t know, should we question whether it’s sin? No, because we know bestiality to be sin. It always was and always will be, which leads to my next point.
“[God] is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.” God doesn’t change. Period. He loves humanity now just as unconditionally as He loved Adam and Eve. He disciplines those He loves all throughout history, He disciplines those He loves today, and He will continue to do so until the end of the earth. When He inspired the many authors of the Bible to write His words, He wrote it with eternity in mind, as something concrete for His people of all times to look to for guidance. He isn’t going to say in the Bible that something is sin thousands of years ago just to go, “Oh, well it looks like apocalyptic times have come upon the humans and they have limited resources and now need to kill each other to live…You know what? Murder is no longer a sin, the humans have to do it”. The same goes for homosexuality; God won’t just change the fact that it’s sin and still say in the Bible that it is. That would be pretty darn confusing lol (I know that my murder example doesn’t exactly replicate your homosexuality example; I was just showing how that wouldn’t work).
And i agree with Luke; having a biological disposition to “something” and God being okay with that “something” are not synonymous. I know a kid who is prone to huge fits of anger and violence; it really is just his disposition. If no one corrects him now, I know he could easily grow up to become abusive. I don’t think God would be okay with all that just because he “was born that way”. Like I said before, certain dispositions are there because of Adam and Eve’s fall and introduction of sin, and we just have to learn to lean on God for His strength. If our natural sinful dispositions were “okay” with God, why would He send His only Son to die? Sin is natural. Sin is normal. We are born with all kinds of sin and cannot control how our tendencies play out. However, sin is not right. There is no such thing as “good” judgment and “bad” judgment, only just and unjust judgment. As you know, our God is a just God, but He is also a merciful God. If He decided to stick only to being just, then we are all lost causes. God doesn’t judge how he made us, He is judging the the sinful hearts we all have been born with since Adam and Eve’s fall.
Also, just a side note, it is improbable that homosexuality started because of a lack of people. There might not have been a lot of people, but ratios remained similar enough to today that no one would have been so desperate for sex that they resorted to homosexuality. Sodom and Gomorrah were to entire cities. You would think that most of the men and women would have found a suitable partner. They had to choose to indulge in abominable practices, such as homosexuality and witchcraft. Also, even if it was, I know God would still see it as sin. Look at when (I think it was) Lot’s daughters got him drunk so they could sleep with him and have kids by him. They had just become the only people for mile and miles around because Sodom and Gomorrah were just eradicated from Earth. They definitely had limited resources, so was it right for Lot’s daughters to sleep with him? No. God actually says that they were very sinful for doing so. (I don’t remember the exact details of the story, so you might want to go back and check, but I know I have the main idea down :P).
I am 13 years old and just started porn about 7 months ago. I need help. I am loosing my connection with God and I want help. I struggle with my addiction and I have troubles with masturbation. I feel so horrible and I just need help. Please respond. I will try your steps and pray to God they will work. I have a friend Max who I can talk to.
Good to hear you have someone you can talk to about this. That is the first step I tell everyone to take: find a trusted friend. When you talk to him, if he is willing, perhaps he can sit down with you and come up with an “attack plan” on this. What steps can you take to distance yourself from porn altogether? What blockades can you put in place.
hi, i have been looking for help for so long due to struggle on quiting porn. i have done all my best things like, praying, getting rid of smart phones, but this porn thing i think its in blood now, i have tried to replace it by having girl friends but God would sau “you can’t solve evil by evil, you knw sometimes i regret why i was born couse being unsaved its a shame and being saved turn be so Hard, i tried to avoid bad friends and chill by myself but boredom would come and lead me to porn, worse thing i have been approched by homesexuals interested for date…….noooo! where to run in this filthy world
In the end, we need to rely on the means of escape God provides. For many of us, we fail to see what those means of escape are. The first and primary way of escape is just to get about doing God’s will in other areas of life: serving others, witnessing to others, discipling others, giving time and talent to things that benefit the church and our neighbor, meditating on and praying through Scripture, etc. When we are living out the will of God, we don’t have the kind of idle hands that are so often the devil’s workshop.
We also should “interrupt” the patterns that often lead to sin that may not actually be themselves sinful. For instance: you might stay up late on the computer. This is not a sinful act, but it is part of a pattern that leads to porn. Choose to quit that pattern and start a new one. Or take this for instance: you might live by yourself. This is not sinful, but it might be a pattern you choose to change. Find a roommate—ideally one who is a really good friend who you can be honest with about your struggles.
When temptation strikes, we also need to have pre-planned ways of escape and then be ruthless about taking those ways. This means we take that first whisper of sin and we strike at it. We get up from where we are and move our thoughts to truth. We label the temptation for what it is: this is tempting me to sin against God. We take our thoughts captive and speak aloud the truth of God about the sin we were contemplating. We pray to God for help. Then we change what we’re doing to interrupt the pattern.
I hope these kind of things are helpful to you.
Fred yamoah
I am a boy of 22 year and I started masturbating at the age of 17 but I want to stop now.it is affecting me in my academic and in spirit too.please help me to solve this problem.please I want to stop now.
So sorry to hear about what’s happening. It is a struggle I understand all too well.
First, I highly recommend you download our book Your Brain on Porn. I wrote this book specifically for men like you. Please let me know what you think of it when you’re done reading it.
AnonYoungster
I read this whole page and think it is wonderful. I have been struggling with porn for less than a year and masturbation for longer and think that everything Luke and most others have said are perfectly true , Biblical and helpful. Thankyou Luke and God bless you.
I’d love to hear more of your story, but if you don’t want to share more, please read this book. It is free and it will really help.
engineering student
I started pornography 4 years ago I have download many video teaching me how to quit porn bt none help me,now It affect my spiritual life to much as im a christian,I always find my self back in this thing. I hate it now because it affect me academical. I need help urgent before Rapture, I want also to be raptured with the church of God . I dnt want to go to hell!! now I need a serious treatment please
Your passion to rid yourself of this sin is good. Your acknowledgment that lust is a hell-worthy sin is also good. But please remember: if you are in Christ, you are not condemned (Romans 8:1). God does not just discard His adopted children for losing the battle with sin. He welcomes the prodigal children home. Yes, God hates sin, but it is his kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). We are not transformed into the image of Christ by living in the shame of our sin, but by understanding the depth and breadth of God’s love for us (Ephesians 3).
There’s a lot that could be said about your sin and what it means to repent of it, but let me encourage you: change is possible. Moreover, God does not wait for us to change in order to accept us. God accepts us first, and by the power of our new identity, we find the ability to change.
I encourage you to download the book Your Brain on Porn to learn more about this.
engineering student
I triee with all the force and strength I have to quit it bt I always fail, I have great fear what will happen to if I end-up nt quiting up untill Jesus secondly for His HOLY HOLY church,HIS BODY that is nt full of porn now I want to quit for GOOD please help please help please I hate it now but I dnt knw hw I end-up watching it
Good, People i also need help with regard to pornography, i know for sure that what am doing is wrong, there seasons in my life were in i will survive for some months without watching it, but this year its worse i cant even control myself over it. am tired of it, because is disturbing my relationship with God. Am dealing with an enmy i love, i always regret after watching it. i real need help. i deal videos but after sometime will download again, its destroying my productivity, and my mind is full of sex and porn. i hate this
Hello Jelf,
I would really love to help you be a better person. Let me have your email or the best way we can stay intouch.
~Ben
Emmanuella
I started masturbating and got into porn some years after a near rape attempt by my uncle…..for years I’ve suffered…. I need help but there’s no one I can trust…I desperately need a friend.
I encourage you to find a personal counselor. I’m sure you have some leftovers from that traumatic event that need to be processed, and you need someone safe to talk with. You might also find a safe place in an online group at xxxChurch. They have groups for everything!
I know it feels like you’re alone, but there’s a lot of help out there. Here’s a link to a collection of resources for women. I know you’ll find some helpful things there.
I have been into this mess for over years now,being a Christian and worker in the vine yard of God,but still find my self on this.I’m trusting and believing God that he,God will see me through.
dear am also addicted into pornography nd masturbation av sinned against God nd my conscience keep hurting me let us be friends god will set us free ok
HELP_ME
HI Ben I would also appreiate your help, send me your Email and I will email you plz
Please…is there any site for teens?? I know that I am hurting God and I desperately want to stop watching porn. Mr Bruner, you told me to talk to someone but there is no one to tell…who would listen to a young girl anyway….. they’ll just condemn me and want to beat the demon out of me….. I need help!
People are hesitant to take up the teen part of this problem, because of issues around parental consent. That means there are few support groups for teens struggling with porn. I’ve been digging around, though, and I’ve got a couple of ideas for you.
xxxChurch does have resources for students. You can follow the link from this page.
There are new programs included with Celebrate Recovery that are just for teens, called The Landing. You can check this directory to see if one of those programs exists in your area.
Safe people that teens can reach out to would generally include school counselors, a youth leader, or a trusted adult in your family. Of course, if you’ve had enough experience with the adults in your church or family to know that they aren’t safe (and some adults aren’t!) then you’re wise to look around for a place where you won’t be condemned. A while back, I wrote an article at To Save A Life about characteristics of a safe adult. Here’s the link–it might help you think about who’s safe in your world. The article includes some hotline links as well.
You can continue to read blogs and pursue online resources like the ones listed here. They may not be specifically targeted toward teens, but there’s helpful information from other women who’ve been where you are.
You’re a brave girl! And worth listening to! I’ll be praying that you find the right people in your world who see that and will be safe for you.
Blessings, Kay
Vicki
I’m also a teenager and I have also been battling for six years to come out of it but I relapse after weeks and it has affected me negatively but I can’t tell anyone,I’m scared and ashamed
addicted
My only trigger is when i lay down on my bed at night i just cant control myself from watching porn or masturbating
A big help could be to change your sleeping habits for several weeks. For instance, sleep in a new location that would make it more difficult to masturbate.
Benson
plz help am 25yrs and i have being into porn and mastubeting over the last 15yrs,i hv tried all knw but nw i think i knw tis is a big issue i need to handle but how plz help
First, understand that the steps you’ve made toward freedom are not in vain. Despite your failures, you are learning through the process, and the Lord is delighted with that.
Second, understand that the sinful cravings are to be expected in this life—even really intense moments of sinful desire. This is precisely what the apostle Paul says: the desires of the flesh are real and they are against the things God commands (Galatians 5:16), even in the life of a Christian. Every Christian, every person who has the Spirit of God, “groans inwardly” waiting for the day Jesus returns and redeems our bodies (Romans 8:23). One of the best things we can do in the midst of the struggle is learn how to direct our dark cravings towards God, turning them into an opportunity to “groan” for Christ, stirring up our hope for the change he brings. As we do this, over time the hope begins to gradually displace the our longings for sin.
Third, remember, this is how the virtue of self-control is learned. Self-control doesn’t mean the absence of sinful desire but the ability not to be mastered by it. God is delighted as you learn this virtue through trial and error because He has His sights set on the big picture.
Last, remember the Lord has marked out a path to real internal change in his Word. I encourage you to read this article all about how the apostle Paul describes victory over sinful desires, or listen to this podcast. Our book Your Brain on Porn could also be a real help to you—and its free to download!
Benson
thanks for adressing my email,when i read the email of a lady whose husband left her and the children due to porn addition,i decide to seek help,cz i saw what extend tis can go,i will give you my progress after i read through the downloads.thanks for holding our hands through this battle.God bless
Thank you for the article. For me porn is a distraction from my anxiety, it actually doesn’t feel good at all. Nothing Is arousing with a drinking problem so I’ve decided to give up both because it’s going down unhealthy meaningless pathways. I will keep trying, I’ll get there :)
Me too! If you or anyone wants to talk, plz plz plzzzz reach out and reply to this comment. I REALLY REALLY WANT TO QUIT THIS IS JUST HORRIBLE!
Ayodeji
i am seriously addicted to masturbation for the past 4yrs, and it is seriously affecting my spiritual and academic life. anytime i think i have stop it, it comes back to me. pls guys i need ur advice, i want to re-brand my life for a better future.
hi! an 18 an im a girl…i’ve been surfing porn from last 4/5yrs …
feel soo helpless..
this burning desire of watching and masturnating is killing me…
affecting my acadmics and i m scared will ruin my love lifee…
plsss hellp me.??????
i wanna b porn free
Hey there. Well, I’d say find a safe place and some safe people to support you in your process. You might try an online group at xxxChurch, or if you need more support, you might consider seeing a counselor. If you’re in college or university, free counseling services are often available on campus.
Make sure you are taking good care of yourself in every way you can: lots of exercise, healthy eating habits, getting outdoors, spending time with hobbies you enjoy, nurturing a healthy social life. Good self-care habits like that will help lower your general anxiety levels, which should have a positive impact on compulsive habits like porn.
Of course you can read articles like this one and try out the suggestions; you’ll find what works for you as you keep being persistent with the problem.
It takes a while to re-set your habits and you’ll probably fluctuate between doing well and failing as you work through the process of change. Remember that your habits aren’t you, and you always have the choice to make healthy choices. The more safe support you find for yourself, through groups and/or therapy, the easier it will be for you to make those good choices. You don’t have to do this all alone!
Blessings, Kay
Well wisher
Please get married and enjoy healthy sexual life
My
Take approprate schedul for days you stay safe and not, and record it in time table by using check mark.
Meher Nigar
I’m addicted to porn and masturbation for 6 years.Now I’m 16 years old.I wanna control myself from this bad habit.Please help me . I think people who are like me can help each other. We can be friend.If you are troubled with same problem.You can knock me at Twitter.
I really want someone to help motivate me too, and who understands what it’s like. I’m 14 and I really need help, so plz reply 2 my comment if u wanna b friends!
Chris McKenna
Hello Anonymous, do you have a trusted mentor or someone you can talk to about your struggles? Keeping our struggles in the light is so important. Talking about it automatically causes the issue to have less control. Darkness cannot thrive in the open!
Peace, Chris
Covenant Eyes
Aditya657
Hello,
I am 15 years old. I am suffering from a porn and masturbation problem and I have no one whom I trust to share this with. I am an Atheist and I could really Appreciate if someone would like to help me. Please I request you
Hi there. Well, finding help as an adolescent is always challenging because generally there’s a need for parental consent if you’re going to therapy or a group. Let me tell you how we generally work with behavioral change, and maybe we can brainstorm some ways to find you support in this.
The first step in making behavioral change is to STOP the BEHAVIOR. This is why drug addicts go to rehab. This is why accountability software like Covenant Eyes is so helpful.
So perhaps you could think about where you are accessing porn, and move to put some blocks in place. Ask your parents for help if you need to: “I don’t want to be exposed to porn, so could we install Covenant Eyes?”
Then think about the contexts where masturbation occurs, and move to put some blocks in place there as well. Change your routine. Do yoga at a time when you’d normally masturbate. Listen to music and dance. Watch a funny TV show. Call a friend and ask how their day is going. It takes time to create new habits, but if you can find some replacements that you genuinely enjoy, that will help.
The second step is to examine WHY the behavior has such a powerful hold. Masturbation provides a hit of dopamine to your brain, and that’s something your brain can come to crave. So I’d also ask myself questions like this: is there some specific pain I’m masking with porn and masturbation? Am I feeling lonely, abandoned, unloved? Is there a history of sexual abuse? If so, porn and masturbation can be a powerful distraction from the pain of those difficult feelings.
The thing I find is that sexual issues often carry a lot of shame with them, which makes recovery even more difficult: when we feel ashamed, we isolate, which creates even more pain, and that drives us back to the porn/masturbation cycle for relief. So, can think of one safe person who would listen and help you through this? Maybe a school counselor, an adult in your family, or a wise friend?
If you do have a history of sexual abuse, or some other painful events, then it would probably be helpful to see a therapist. Psychology Today has an extensive directory of counselors you could explore. Of course you would need to talk to your parents at that point! But it might be worth it, if you end up getting the support you need to help you through.
Thanks for being so brave and writing in! I hope that helps, and if you have more questions, please don’t hesitate to ask. Blessings to you, Kay
Aditya657
Okay… I will see if I can tell someone about this… I don’t think that it’s related to something it’s just I wasn’t in such a good company at school then I too started doing this and got addicted… I guess.. Thank you for your reply I will do my best
Phillip Kael Mabena
if you really wanna talk.. I may not be the best but I’m willing to listen. so I will hear from you.
anytime you are alone and the thought come s open to proverbs on your Bible nd read at least one chapter b4 you do that for a month u must hav gotten rid of your porn habit Note make sure you understand what you are reading
Hello my name is muhammed hussein i started porn at the age of 15 i dont know what to do again i even stop it for like 1year and go black to it again pls i nead hlp from anybody coz i love my love god pls gmail me at muhammedhussni@gmail.com
@hussein, by bringing this into the light, you are taking a bold step to break free. Just above your post, there is a response from Kay Bruner, who offers very good steps. Since you know God, step back and ask some big questions about what you really believe. God DOES have your best interest in mind. His promises are far better, deeper, wider and more fulfilling than anything porn promises. Look at Kay’s post, and then go back to the basics of your faith and just cry out to God that you believe HE is what you need.
Chris
Teman
I have never thought that I have had an addiction to pornography until recently. This is due to me believing it was the side affect of other addictions I had in my youth, like smoking dope and drinking. Thankfully God has weened me off those past habits and has helped me to grow in him. I am 18 now and know God has plans for me, but this pornography addiction has emerged and like many others, is difficult to kick, I can last for around 1 week. I wan’t to kick this habit into the furnace, early before it affects my life any further.
These sights have been helpful and I want to thank you guys for encouraging me to get help, tomorrow that is for me haha :). God bless and I pray that everyone struggling will find freedom.
I got the same problem… porn and masturbation…I always wanted to do what my peers were into(porn)..I was so innocent by the time…I’m only 17 n I’ve been doing this for about 10 months now…i don’t really have have the urge for quitting but after I read all these comments i feel deeply that I’ve got to quit…i’ve also tried putting this habit to an end but each time i do so there’s that relapse feeling that always gets into me n makes the whole(porn and masturbation) look positive…I feel that i have greatly dishonoured God n also my spiritual faith is really going down…please heeelp
Hi Kelvin – you’ve taken a big step by posting and by bringing the sin into the light. Have you attempted any of the steps mentioned in the article? In the end, no one can make you make better choices. God will always provide a way out. You will need to make a complete and effective decision to repent and walk in a different direction. Pull yourself up, take some time alone with God, and make this important decision, saying, “Lord, identify me with Your death until I know that sin is dead in me.” Make the moral decision that sin in you must be put to death. This is no game – it’s either “full life” with Christ or “steal, kill, destroy” from the devil (John 10:10). Thank God His grace is fresh every morning and your stumbles do not erase your name from the Book of Life, but it’s time to claim the victory that has been won for you, pick your chin up, and charge into battle A VICTOR….not defeated. God is for you! (Romans 8:31).
Peace!
Chris, Covenant Eyes
Ireallytrytostopforgood
hi, ive been doing porn and masturbation since i was 15 now I’m 18…and i really want to stop bcos is affecting my life badly…i even loosing interest in basketball bcos i rather stay at home and watch porn than go for practice… i dont seem to get the urge when im in school…but once im home its a whole new different issue…..ive tried to stop, ive even gone 1 month with out it at home before..and during that period i felt really happy with myself…because my life started heading in the right direction again….but all of a sudden i juss snapped and dived head deep into porn and masturbation… i feel really awful and there is this strong feeling of hate and doubt i have for myself deep within and there this lack of interest i get towards stuff lately….girls most especially i dont hang out again with people both guys and girls
my friends are even starting to think im gay or something??
i really need your help and advice……pls reply
Have you worked through all six of the steps? It sounds like the doorways to porn are still available and you aren’t working with someone who can keep you accountable. Self-help won’t fix this – remember, “self” is what keeps taking you down this path. If you really want to quit, then it will take pulling up your boots and getting ready for battle. It’s an issue that doesn’t want to give up and as soon as you start fighting it, “it” will fight back even more. I know because I’ve been there! God is for you! What will you do first?
Is it possible their respect for you would grow if you were open and honest?
Peace Lover
To stop porn and masturbation. A simple yet effective key is ‘practice GRATITUDE’.
To appreciate gratitude, practice giving. It is in giving that we receive.
Think and Act. All the best.
I am a 19yr old from kenya,ive been watching porn and mustarbating for 4 yrs now,the struggle has been real,the guilt,shame ,unsuccesful trials to stop.i believe that in jesus christs name iam going to overcome this addiction.but i need some help to get me through since it wont be spontaneous but gradual.
Hi Brian, you CAN break free, but it’s not easy! Laser-focused eyes on Jesus. Have you been through the blog post and what it says? What parts of it resonate with you?
Chris
barça
Hadith – Bukhari 3:129, Narrated ‘Alqama
While I was walking with ‘Abdullah May Allah’s peace and praise be on him he said, “We were in the company of the Prophet May Allah’s peace and praise be on him and he said, ‘He who can afford to marry should marry, because it will help him refrain from looking at other women, and save his private parts from committing illegal sexual relation; and he who cannot afford to marry is advised to fast, as fasting will diminish his sexual power.’” islam has given solution 1400 year back
Hi, am 18 and am addicted to porn, it has affected my spiritual and academic growth, it all started when i used it to get rid of my exam result tension, also many things were not going in my way in my life. Now i feel so lonely and has completely lost self confidence, please i want help, I want to bring the good old myself, I tried many times but every time past comes back to my mind and the feeling of guilt doesnt let me climb back. Please i really want real help
Hello, I’m so sorry that you are experiencing this darkness. There is hope! Jesus is stronger! You’ve identified some triggers, now can you redirect that urge? The blog goes through some steps, and I wonder if you’ve been through those. Having open and honest conversation about the struggle is almost always going to help. I won’t ever be too old or holy to require accountability in my life. I wonder if you would find the same relief that I have from having someone you can talk to. No amount of “trying” on your own will work. Guilt is not from God – it draws you to the past and drags you down. God’s mercy is fresh every single day. The moment you wake up, look to Him, pray like you’re at war, and ask for forgiveness, He offers it freely and endlessly. God is for you!
Peace, Chris
Richard
Am also in the same situation… I need help dOctor???……
Boy
Please I need help. I know how bad porn is and feel angry especially at the fetish act performed just as soon as I satisfy that craving. But I just still go back. I am a 23yr old programmer(so I always have internet access). It’s ruining my life and I fear it would ruin my sex life when I get married. I feel so so guilty after it that the guilt might even mimic illness but I know it’s the guilt. But I still go back. Please help me.
Hi – I can sense the guilt and shame you are feeling. You’re right in saying that your behaviors now, and the brain power behind pornography addiction are easily carried into marriage, doing great harm. When you look at the list in the post, about “wanting to quit,” or “cleaning house,” or “being brutally honest,” or “blocking entry points” – have you been able to do these things? You have to really, really want to quit. This is an issue that will not go away without a lot of really hard work, and honestly, a good dose of Holy Spirit cleansing (if you’re religious). Let me know…..Chris (Covenant Eyes)
Ahmad
Exposure to internet causes Me also to repeatedly watch it..if u find any solution share with me also
I am 17yrs.and am addicted to it.even saying or writing the name makes me feel disgusted.i am tired.it really affecting me spiritually.i need serious help.
The Six Essentials will not work without heart change. “For out of the heart comes sexual immorality(Gk. Porneia)” Jesus. The deception that we can do it runs deep within our sinful nature. Too many addicted to porn spend their lives using sinful paradigms to overcome the “disease.”
Based on your previous response to this point, you will say you agree, BUT, you didn’t include it in the article.
I am 23 year old engineer, struggling hard to get rid of this bad porn watching addiction.
The bad thing is most of the time in my day i m connected to internet.
Everytime i ask God forgiveness then after some time i start this bad habbit again and last for many days again i closed all the way going to this path, keep myself too much busy, studing different religions, history and science, but once i get a small tension i come again to this bad thing.i dont think if there is anyone in this world who would not have tensions and worries, i know i hate this thing ,last time i made it to the longest no watch time (5 months) , but after 5 months when i get little troubles i come again to it..i m religious practicing guy but still cant get rid of this bad behaviour, one thing i noted for sure is good company of friends, when i live among good friends ,its easy to minimise it, but its life u never get what is ideal always,any one willing to help me, i would appreciate it…
Hello, Ahmad – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Pornography so easily draws us in, and then it’s so hard to stop. Can you close some of the ways you can get to porn? Eliminate the paths. Can you invite a close friend into the situation to talk through it and help you be accountable? For those times you feel the tension and then go to porn, how can you direct that tension into something else? Can you immediately do some other activity? Text a friend? Don’t give up! Freedom is possible – but it takes hard work, my friend. God is for you! “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Run to Him! His mercy and forgiveness is fresh every morning.
Peace, Chris
Jake
I’ve tried to stop watching porn and masterbate but I can’t. Please help
Hi, Jake, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. The battle is very real, and honestly, you can’t do it alone. What have you tried? Let me say it again – you can’t stop on your own. It’s stronger than you. Do you know Jesus? Do you have someone you trust you can talk to for accountability? Are you willing to get rid of your electronic devices in order to stay clean? These are the hard decisions that are necessary if you really want to get rid of this wicked problem. God is for you! But, you have have to really want recovery.
HI, Jake – sometimes it takes a clear and effective decision about the sin, like smashing the device, in order to break free. If it meant porn no longer had its grip on you, would you smash the phone?
Lic
Hey Guys
I don’t know where to start, Am 17, I started watching porn at age of 9 and it never really was an addiction, I was doing just fine in school, had a good relationship with people, Masturbation and porn addiction started like 4 months ago and since then its been hell, i droped in every thing i was doing, studies right down to the football field.
I seriously need help
Hello, and thank you for having the courage to step forward and admit your struggle. Let me be real honest – you cannot overcome porn alone. I don’t care how determined you are. It’s a ferocious monster and it’s stronger than you.
Cut off all access to the junk. Throw away your smartphone if you have to. It comes down to a question – do you really want to quit? If so, then it’s time to take evasive action, just as if you were in a battle. It also means talking it out, looking someone you trust in the eye and coming clean about all of it. Yes, all of it. In the light, the power of this junk shrivels up. But, if you hold back, it’s like a small tumor that will grow and over time, consume you again in guilt and shame.
Porn kills love and relationships. It’s been proven over and over again. It creates a selfISH perspective on life instead of a selfLESS perspective. It wants all of you, and so it robs from all of the other activities, studies, sports, and friendships, until it consumes all of your attention. Steal, kill, destroy. That’s all it knows how to do.
Covenant Eyes can help on your devices if you need something. Get an adult involved to help you with that, if necessary.
It sounds like you’re serious about wanting to break free of this, so I took the liberty to jump right in a be very direct. As a former addict, I know your pain and frustration. But, I’m not here to dwell on just the bad, because FREEDOM is possible. There is hope. But, you have to WANT it yourself. Look in the mirror and decide today if you truly want to be free. If so, then it’s time to get to work and I know you can do it by incorporating some of the steps I’ve included above.
I am 22 years old, I want a permanent relief from sex, please help me
Chris McKenna
Hello, Umer – I’m glad you want to stop. That’s a good start. But, that’s not enough. It’s a daily commitment. It’s having open and honest conversations with an accountability partner. It’s looking at the steps in the blog post and getting very serious about each of them. Porn addiction does not go away easily. It’s very, very hard to quit, but IT IS POSSIBLE to quit! God is for you and there is no pit too deep for Him to pull you out of. Go through these steps.
Peace, Chris
John Pierre
Well for a single person its hard to not watch porn and masturbate because when you are living with your family and you never touched a girl but just see and talked to girls so in this case i had an porn addiction but last month i didn’t watched porn but then again this month i went back by trying to masturbate on women that i see on the public not on the porn although i did it on porn but on women more (not front of them) but in my bed inside my room. and because because it’s more fun to watch and play along than to put it on pause and go to the bed. and what makes it harder is the masturbation and your brain on porn that’s why we come back to it…I Just Wished That God Didn’t Created a Sexual Organs For the Entire Humanity So That They Don’t Get Tempted To Such Nasty Things As A Single Person Against God because i know a thing in the Ten Commandments that ”Thou you shalt not commit adultery”.
I need help on quiting porn and masturbating,i have been addicted to porn and masturbating for 15 years. I pray and repent everyday but i keep falling in the same hole,i feel like im just playing with god. One day i’ll repent ask for forgiveness and the next day i get the urgent to do it and after is done,i feel guilty and bad again. Its hard i need serious help!
Hello, there is hope! God hasn’t stopped pursuing your heart. And, His grace is fresh every morning. Have you tried accountability? Also, how are you getting to the porn? Are you willing to take the drastic steps that are outlined in the blog post? If not, you’ll continue to go back to it. God is serious about sin. He absolutely hates the impact it has on His people. So much so, that he sacrificed everything to bring you back into relationship with Him. How much are you willing to do in response to His love? It’s time to buckle down and FIGHT with every asset at your disposal. This is a war for your heart. Go back and read the blog post with fresh eyes. Then also read this one: https://www.covenanteyes.com/2016/06/30/stop-looking-at-porn-you-sicko-part-1/
After that, make a decision. Do you really want to quit? If so (and I hope the answer it YES), let’s get to it.
Peace, Chris
jose
Im 23 years from Tanzania Istarted porn and masterbation 5years ago ihave tried to stop it for several tym bt repeat it im too hypocrite to my fellow university students who treat me as really servant of God,ihave asked forgiveness from God &fast to stop it bt ifelt into temptation again “some of my fellows they know my problem ihave explained it bt still no help”iblocked my instagram account to prevent reoccurance bt no help what can ido im really Christian iknow each and abt Jesus plz help
Hello, Joseph – on one hand, my heart breaks for your situation. Addiction just takes the life and motivation right out of us. But, on the other hand, you’ve admitted the issue, and that’s a great step! Now, comes the hard work – are you ready? When you look at the blog post you commented on, pay close attention to each item Dr. Weis mentions. Are you willing to “clean house” and get rid of the devices causing problems? What about the other things on his list? Also, I wonder – how badly do you want to quit? Have you made a clear and effective decision about this sin? https://www.covenanteyes.com/2016/06/30/stop-looking-at-porn-you-sicko-part-1/
Joseph, God is for you! Anything is possible at the cross of Jesus Christ. Read Romans 8 to be reminded of who you are in Christ :)
hy guys my mame is Innocent I am 16 years old I started porn last year in October and I am trying to stop it but yoh its difficult ,I stop for one week then it comes again I don’t know what to do anymore because I am a strong believer in Christ I don’t know anymore please help
Hello, Innocent – I’m glad you took the tough step of admitting the issue. Now, comes the hard step of inviting someone into your life to help you. That’s the power of accountability. It also means closing the doors that exist to watching porn. If that means getting rid of your phone, then that’s what it means. Go back and read the “6 Essential Steps” again and really dive into them. If done with honesty and dedication, they do work. Christ and Community is the only way.
Peace, Chris
Gracie
Hi innocent,
I am dealing with the same thing you are. I really want someone to keep me accountable and encourage me spiritually, but I don’t know anyone to do that with. Would you possibly want to exchange emails or something? We can send bible verses or notes of encouragement. If you ever feel tempted you can just send me an email or if you mess up I can talk with you and help you.
akash
Pls guys dont watch porn..It is not good neuther for u nor for your family..It is taking world by a stOm..People are making it just for the profit..They dont care about yoi and yoir family..Because of some mean people society is getting polluted and wasted and dirty.. Sex is not bad as because of it we are born..But this porn has made people vulnerable and this porn sitrs cover your eyes and dont let u look ahead of what u r doing and wat not.. it is really bad and highly underiabale..At first u mihht feel good but it ruins your growth your brain your miscles ykur stamina..It is thats y called gentle rape..Pls dont guys engage in this kind of activities and pls help others cone out of it .. Dnt look porn rather there are millioms of things to go and watch out for..Stop and start new..Start fresh!!
bro your mind your control make your mind tough for no more watching porn their are many things to do and search on internet.don,t fell your self alone go out and meet with friends trust me you automatically forget about porn
Hi my name is crystal, and I’m a porn addict. I’m just 16 and I feel like even
God has given up on me (though he hasn’t). I am a christian and I’ve disappointed God more times than I can count. So if there is any one who could help me I beg of you, lend me a hand. Thank you! God bless you! ☺
Kay Bruner
Hey Crystal,
I’m so glad you’re able to know the truth that God’s love never, ever gives up on us. I think that’s the real key to any kind of change and growth: confidence in God’s love, no matter what.
If you’d like to stop masturbating, shame and anger with yourself will never get you there. Receive God’s love for you–that will certainly help. Finding people who are loving and kind, and talking with them about struggles helps, too. Connecting with other people in real, true ways helps cure shame and makes us less vulnerable to acting-out behaviors.
Of course there are behavioral steps you can take to make yourself less vulnerable, but good, healthy, honest emotional connection to God and others is the basis for all change and growth. Change and growth are long, slow processes, and we have to keep receiving love, over and over and over again so that we can extend love over and over and over again to ourselves and to others.
There’s a famous story about Thomas Keating, a teacher of contemplative prayer. One of his students said, “Father Keating, in 20 minutes of prayer, I fail 10,000 times.” And Father Keating said, “How wonderful! Ten thousand opportunities to return to Love!”
I think that is a powerful, healing paradigm shift: if we can stop thinking in terms of our own failure, and consider instead the limitless expression of God’s love to us, it would revolutionize our lives–and probably bring about the changes we are hoping for.
Peace to you,
Kay
Grace
I have only been watching porn for a little bit but I really want to stop And yes… I am a girl. Porn isn’t just for men obviously. I really want to talk to someone to keep me accountable and to encourage me spiritually, but I don’t have any friends that would actually want to help me overcome this addiction. I am so afraid to talk to a family member about this because I was raised in a Avery Christian home, and my parents would be appalled. What should I do?
Hi, Grace – it’s tough when you’re all alone. In my experience, all alone with temptation means the devil wins. Almost every time. Christ and community give you the strength needed to overcome his lies. If you can’t find someone to trust, maybe an online community might help? Here’s a good one: http://dirtygirlsministries.com
Peace, Chris
Abel(Dreamer)
Hi, My name is Abel, and let me tell you my life story about porn and masturbation, First make sure to read this if you help me or learn form my life story,
People see me like hypocrite on these situations and having a good life with my family and don’t want to be disturbed.by the way I have Good social relationship.
And don’t be bored of the long comment because it is my life story and it need to be long.
Let me start and hope you people will help me.
FIRST, on my childhood around the age of 6 the maid make me get in this erotisim I don’t know if he was satisfied by this but it marked the bigining of these problems ,I stared the masturbation by my own like creating it.That time my age was 12,I was matured. These 2 things envolving the awareness I had that time were causes of the problems.
#Let’s_start with the MASTRUBATION.
For 5 years I use this thing still now, the first 2 years I used was with out knowing it even it’s name and consequence,but the left 3 years I know everything because of my friends.some of my friends say it causes you to be barren then they say ” It will consume your 7 day energy for one moment ” and these makes the problem to be reduced around 20%. I am a skeleton boy with a height of 1:88 and weighs 63KG constant,you can calculate the BMI it is unhealthy,I really want to overcome this and then make my body mass index inhansed and having a new life.
#Then with the PORNOGRAPHY.
I don’t remember when I started this but have Harash, Worse, Killing, Odiuos, Sick… I would like to continue but….
I want to stop it because of … You people know it’s Effect, In my country there is not private or home WiFi, we use other place like hotels, offices and so on, because of that we don’t get fast network that enable us to watch online porn videos but instead we download it. I know 2 websites that make me download and watch it home so in order to overcome this I need to block these forever from Google(And if you guys know how to…? Please Reply, it is for both PC and Android) I use both WiFi and cellular data.
I tried to be busy and forget it but I don’t have the habit of busy as a bee, but I found it working the days I get busy, I’ll recommend the author of this site to add this as another option.
#Did you know I have never asked anyone about these problems because I don’t want to be disturbed for ever instead I think it by my own?
But finally i want to expose it only on internet and I If it doesn’t work reveal it to my best reiable friends.
It also make my spirituals die.
If you see my physical you will be shocked.
MY OLD LIFE HAS ALREADY RUINED, INEED TO START A NEW ONE by your support.
PLEASE HELP ME ON THE NAME OF JESUS!!!
And thanks for accepting to read this and helping me.
My dear I was addicted for 5 years I became the chief of porn supplier to my friends back then in school until I encountered Jesus Christ, all you need to do is surrender to him. Also get my book on porn addiction. miracle Igwe
David Akinwale
Hi here. I’ve been into porn and masturbation almost 5 years. I’ve tried all my paint best to break free but it’s just too hard. I know it’s wrong and I know it’s capable of taking me to hell. I’ve searched for help from other Christians close to me but all to no avail. It looks like nobody cares. I need help, I need Jesus. please pray for me
Have a look at Romans 8 again, my friend. Life, death, things present, things future, angels, demons: NOTHING shall be able to separate us from the love of God. If none of those things can do it, then masturbation won’t either.
If you’d like to stop masturbating, shame and anger with yourself will never get you there. Receive God’s love for you–that will certainly help. Find people who are loving and kind, and talk with them about struggles. Connecting with other people in real, true ways helps cure shame and makes us less vulnerable to acting-out behaviors.
Of course there are behavioral steps you can take to make yourself less vulnerable, but good, healthy, honest emotional connection to God and others is the basis for all change and growth.
Peace to you,
Kay
igwe
David, igwe miracle is my name I also had the same issue, but until I run to Jesus I never had my freedom, but one thing I have discovered with porn addiction is that it is a battle you keeping fighting so long as you are a Christian once you have been addicted. Jesus have give you victory but you have to fight to retain that victory. Get my book on freedom from the addiction called pornography.
David Akinwale
Hi here. I’ve been into porn and masturbation for almost 5 years. I’ve tried all my possible best to break free but it’s just too hard. I know it’s wrong and I know it’s capable of taking me to hell. I’ve searched for help from other Christians close to me but all to no avail. It looks like nobody cares. I need help, I need Jesus. please pray for me
Hi, David – I’m sorry that you’re struggling. When you say, “I’ve tried all my possible best,” is that true? Have you cut off access to the internet? Have you begged God for the strength to break free? The cross of Christ is not powerful over sin and death only to be powerless to your porn and masturbation. Do you believe you can break free? If you don’t believe it’s possible, then it won’t happen. Change what you believe and I believe you will change your life – read this blog post. God speed.
Peace, Chris
mahone
i have been masturbating for the past 4-5 years now in the last year till now i’ve been trying to stop or control it but i can’t…..i’ve tried to stop for more than a 100 times but i can’t…i know the effects of masturbation but still i can’t just stop…i can only go myb 3-4 weeks without masturbating sometimes i feel like i can never stop…. i know more than 20 pornstars in my head so if i try to stop for a few days the pics nd vids keeps coming to my head then it triggers me…please any advice you might wanna give me……here’s my e-mail because i really desperately need help thank you.
I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. It’s no just a matter of stopping the masturbation, but also replacing the time, energy, with something else. Keep your hands busy with other activities! Read more here: http://biblereasons.com/idle-hands/
Hi, i am porn addicted. I am 25 and still watch porn. When i look any girl sex thoughts start coming into my mind. I could stop myself only for two to three days watching porn. I am very upset. Can anybody help me?
Hello, Ali, I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling. Have you sincerely tried the steps in this blog post? We believe that if they are carried out consistently and with energy, that you will find redemption. But, you must make a daily effort
igwe
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
David, igwe miracle is my name I also had the same issue, but until I run to Jesus I never had my freedom, but one thing I have discovered with porn addiction is that it is a battle you keeping fighting so long as you are a Christian once you have been addicted. Jesus have give you victory but you have to fight to retain that victory. Get my book on freedom from the addiction called pornography.
Am 21 year and I have been struggling with porn and masturbation 5 yrs now.I have had this addiction before I accepted Jesus in my life but this thing keeps poping up ever time and it has really crippled my relationship with God.so much shame and guilt…and the filthy sense that follows after masturbating makes me feel unworthy to pray or ask anything from God…i feel so unworthy even to be among my Christian brothers and sisters at church, I even isolate myself these days.
I had stop the addiction for about six months but not until things went sour at home and I was chased from home for no reason.I felt so depressed and lonely I just wanted affection that I could not get from home
So I went back in into masturbating and ever since my life has been the rosks and I can’t seem to stop
this addiction has been causing me have hiccups in church attendance lately…everyone know as prayerful person and a strong believer…but am fighting a secret and shameful battle against porn.
I know can overcome this addiction but I NEED HELP!!!…
Hi, Nate – I’m sorry that you’re struggling. When you read the 6 essential steps in the blog post, what has/hasn’t worked? We believe that victory is possible if you faithfully follow those steps.
alia
Hey, I am a student who has to prepare for her exams but it is like so weird to admit but I have been feeling really turned on since the past month. Yes, almost like an autoerotic person. Then I went into a disgusting spree of watching porn videos and naked pictures women and found myself being attracted to girls. These activities of mine make me feel like I am the lord of perverts. This feels like a sin. I really want to quit it and study enough. Please help me.
Hello, Alia – what have you tried? Can you remove internet access from your world for a short time? Set up restrictions on your phone? Anything! This doesn’t just “poof” go away – it takes grace-driven effort. Tough, daily choices. But, you can do it! God is for you. Read ths blog post again and take a few steps…..today.
Best, Chris
Chris
I’ve been addicted since I was 13. This has led me over the years to find new and more dangerous ways to be satisfied… Dating sites, Craigslist, etc. And worst of all I know it’s had to affect my family. I’m now 36. I can’t do this anymore. I’m ready now. I’m ready to get it out of my life.
My Google search of “how do I get porn out of my life” led me here.
Hi, Chris – I’m so sorry that you are struggling but I’m so pleased that you have decided to stop. We’re here to help! Have you tried any of the suggestions from the article? We have found that people who take those steps seriously typically make very positive progress to living porn-free. But, if you try to “slug it out” on your own, experience tells us that it just won’t work. “On your own” is probably a big reason you’re struggling currently. Yes, talking about it openly with someone who will encourage, not judge, and say “hey, there’s a better way!” is so very important. I hope you are able to do that and don’t give up! It might get harder before it gets easier, so be ready for a fight.
Best, Chris
Your Decision Is My Name. Thank me later.
Peace for all, so we are here because of struggling to quit pornography. It is like a loop that you cannot break. First of all, take your religion seriously. These days people left church, mosque, temple, shrine and go to strip club, clubbing, too much alcoholic things with different names, the drugs not to mention some of people always find access to sex worker even in virtual world. How you choose your entertainment will affect your next day and in long term your future. It is good to wear modestly, instead of too many skinny, ripped version of cloth, see-thru cloth. These kinky outfits will affect you, if you do not believe me, it is okay. Dont believe me just watch for consequences. Look inside Bible, al-Quran, Gita, and many other religion books, you can make a big difference. Things will affect you are the media you consume, the food and your cloth. Life comes with manual, Holy Books for every religion is available yet we rarely read it not to mention memorize it. Make yourself busy with work. Get money and start a family instead wasting money towards porn. Porn is business that making good turns bad and bad turns the baddest. Porn doesnt dignify any gender. It is lust and lust is one of great sins. You need to channel your energy towards something legitimate like your wife. We always think it is good to have sex with girlfriends, actually it is not. You need to tie the knot. Sex without commitment is just degrading humanity towards animals. Human should be civilised and knowledge is power, action is strength, struggle is medicine. Do you read enough report about HIV/AIDS among sex workers? Statistic and report are all over the world, you can read or even you can make a research for the benefits of others. Learn your psychology, learn your struggle, learn your spirit. If your family members involve in porn, even just a director or cameraman, do you be like them for money, ignore them, prevent them or support them? Your life is all about decision and motivation plus action. Get your life, see how some senior citizens can make their marriage last long without go to porn or always change their partner. Think about it.
Hi there i am 20 year old and i am totally addicted to porn and mastuburation i wann quit it but it coming back again in my life i want a friend to talk aboutit is one want to help me
Hi, Archie – I’m so sorry that you are struggling. Have you tried any of the suggestions from the article? We have found that people who take those steps seriously typically make very positive progress to living porn-free. But, if you try to “slug it out” on your own, experience tells us that it just won’t work. “On your own” is probably a big reason you’re struggling currently. Yes, talking about it openly with someone who will encourage, not judge, and say “hey, there’s a better way!” is so very important. I hope you are able to do that and don’t give up! It might get harder before it gets easier, so be ready for a fight.
Best, Chris
leslie
Hi Archie am 21 years old and i would like to be of help
if its ok by you
Carl
I would like to document my experience but due to cultural reasons cannot do so publicly.
It started with masturbating in the shower when I was about 8. I stumbled across it unknowingly on my own but kept doing it because it felt good. No one knew or dissuaded me from such acts as there was no talk of sexual matters in my family. Then I got my first iPod touch and a wireless internet connection when I was 14, driving me into porn through those innocent fanfiction tumblr feeds linking to those not so innocent ones. I could already feel my vigour and energy sapping away, but misattributed it at the time to growing up. Discovering the nsfw section of reddit soon after drove me even deeper into this abyss and caused my school marks to deteriorate, falling from top student of the grade to above average. I was also a hardcore gamer throughout school and high school. When I entered uni at 17, I decided to quit gaming for good, which I have maintained, but despite discovering nofap, I never got past two months and fapping’s grip on me had only gotten tighter.
I was truly a prodigy when I was a child, and I still remember the clarity of mind with which I considered the world around me. I felt that I really would be able to achieve great things when I grew up. But now, with those things a long gone memory, I realise that those people who do better than me in uni and in the world aren’t necessarily endowed with much better or worse natural abilities than me. It is just that they have more experience solving problems and overcoming conceptual barriers than me, while I was jerking it to some grotesque fantasy and numbing my brain. This is truly the greatest regret of my life, and despite knowing all this, still does the sight of an attractive woman cause me to go down the eventual horrific path of relapse. The pain and suffering that this addiction has laden me with is incomparable to even the worst kinds of torture conceivable. Unlike actual pain and suffering though, I don’t come out of it a stronger man. That might be the most ironic part of it all; that the worst form of pain doesn’t even improve oneself in the way the others would. What a con, the human sexual drive.
At the same time, the rest of nature discourages you from porn and fapping. Even a fortnight without it causes my face to look happy, vivid and with symmetry, and girls stare and smile at me when I walk in public; something unimaginable when going outside just after a binge. It really is this demon against the world; and for 13 years this demon had been winning, most painfully, during my formative years both physically and mentally. Well, there’s no going back now. I may never be able to think as clearly or do things as well as I would have done had I never gone down this dark path, but one must always maximise their current potential; and continuing this habit is not maximising my potential. Stopping the habit, no matter the withdrawal pain, will be better than the lifelong pain and regret from continuing it. I hope that my account might help others in similar situations.
Hi, Carl, this ending statement from you, “Stopping the habit, no matter the withdrawal pain, will be better than the lifelong pain and regret from continuing it” is absolutely true. I have prayed that you stick with this conviction!
Best, Chris
yo
hi there, I’m 20 years old and I’m from Ethiopia. I don’t know how it all starts but I’ve started watching porn a few months ago. it is ruining my life specially my spiritual life. I’ve grown in a Christian family and I love jesus and wanne live a life that pleases him. I just need someone that I can talk,please anybody!!!
Hi – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. That spirit of shame and disgust is so heavy. But, it wants you to keep secrets and hide the issue because when you do that, the enemy wins. BUT, in the light, and saving Grace-filled love of Jesus, that disgust and shame is crushed. Can you trust anyone to talk with about your struggles? Maybe even a support forum like nofap.com, where you can find other people online who understand and will support you?
Be strong! Christ did not die, descend to the depths of hell, conquer death, and rise to glory only to be defeated by your struggle. He overcame the struggle for YOU! Yes, for you. God is for you and will be your strength. But, you must act. Look at Joseph in Egypt – when tempted by Potiphar’s wife, he didn’t stay and ponder the situation. No, he ACTED and RAN! Now is your time. I hope the best for you,
Hi, I am Johnson and I’m 34. I was introduced to masturbation without porn by a friend (i now know he was an enemy) in Junior high when I was about 15 yes old. I graduated from masturbation without porn to seeking for porn anyhow I could. In those days, there was nothing like internet services where I lived (and that should have been an advantage) but I would use little money I get to buy porn magazines at newspaper vendor outlet (secretly). I also bought CDs containing porn scenes and watch at work (worked after high school as a computer trainer). It endured until the advent of internet came and then my problem compounded. I have been able to stop for 6 months but relapsed again. I am married and have a child but don’t live with my family as I live far away from them. My relationship is already a mess. I just can’t seem to be able to stop. I go to church and profess to be a christian and am seen as such but I struggle in the secret. I fall whenever the desire comes. I have remained alive because I keep telling myself, no mater what, I won’t give upon trying to quit, but its just hard. Times if disappointments and frustrations and loneliness are the most dangerous. I have prayed, fasted, yet nothing different. I have got different miracles from God (healed my blinding eyes, saved me from death in an accident) yet not this evil. I discovered clearing my computer or installing app alone does not help because whenever the urge comes, I break every barrier I put in place to stop me.
A lot of people look up to me as a responsible person and that makes it very difficult to execute item #2 in Weis suggestion. I really need to do something different because it has been the same cycle.
I know I will be free and I am willing to pay the price. I just read here about doing without internet. I think that is the next thing to do. I need further info from anyone who has succeeded. Any person interested can also visit yourbrainonporn.com
hii……am a gal from uganda bh its like porn has consumed my mind..whenever i watch porn i marterbate and after that i gain my conscience..and i rei regret…bh i just want to quit..i need help
Chris McKenna
Hello, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. The blog post explains 6 essential steps. What have you tried? Are you willing to do whatever it takes? Unless the answer is “yes,” then no amount of trying will help. You really need to be 100% committed to doing anything to breaking free. Even getting rid of whatever you use to watch the porn.
Peter
Please as I am talking now I just finished masturbation I am 22 years old and and I have been addicted to this act for like 5 years everytime I watched porn and masturbat I feel guilty I feel like killing myself when I stop and delete anything that relates to porn in my phone even some music when I stop for like a month or two weeks the feeling will still come and I will start again when ever good things want to happen in my life when the porn come and masturbation I will lost it the very moment it’s seems like I have been poses I have try my best possible way to stop it but it always bounced back to me, I have talk to counselor I have stop using the Internet but it keep coming I have promised my God not to do it but I still fail Him a thousand times how bad will He hailed me?? When I have wounded him for several times? I don’t think he will remember me because when ever I think I have to get back to God this though will always comes to my mind ” like how many time will you have to confess to Jesus you are confessing now I give you a week you will go back to it, will Jesus listen to you? When you have fail him and promise never to do it and you still go back to it how many time will you have to do this”…….. So I just feel like dying today because I can’t stop I can’t control my emotions towards porn I don’t even know my value in this world I am stuck and hang without moving ahead this has course me many failures I have cheated myself I am no body in my family, friends and relatives I don’t know what to do right now I need help please.
Hi, Peter – you are not alone. Please read that statement again! There is always hope. I’m deeply concerned about your comments pertaining to “feel like killing myself” and “I just feel like dying today” because your life is priceless and no amount of sin and struggle changes your value. Do you have access to a suicide assistance center or phone number to talk with someone? In the US, the suicide prevention number is 1-800-273-8255, and they have a chat feature here.
Let’s start with some basics. God’s love isn’t conditional on your performance. Let’s erase that thought out right now! The enemy wants us to think like this, “you + sin = God doesn’t love.” When in fact, the equation is “you + still = God always loves.” (Romans 5:8). Forgiveness like endless streams of living water.
So, let’s get down the business. I believe you can control your thoughts toward porn. Jesus did not die for us to just keep on struggling! He IS victorious and that victory transfers to those who believe. That’s you! So, in a very loving way, I want to invite you to put on your suit of armor and instead of seeing this as struggle, look at it as a battlefield. A good soldier wouldn’t go out expecting to die, so get out there and fight and don’t accept anything less than victory. You don’t have to give way to these sins, you choose to. Victory comes moment by moment. Not in life-long promises never to sin again. The enemy loves those promises! “Give us this day our daily bread.”
Be strong! Christ did not die, descend to the depths of hell, conquer death, and rise to glory only to be defeated by your struggle. He overcame the struggle for YOU! Yes, for you. God is for you and will be your strength. But, you must act. Look at Joseph in Egypt – when tempted by Potiphar’s wife, he didn’t stay and ponder the situation. No, he ACTED and RAN! Now is your time. If you still have access to porn through a computer or smartphone, then pitch it. Through the TV? Toss it out the window. Battle.
I hope the best for you, I truly do. Get the help you need! Your life matters.
Peace, Chris
Amar
Bro when the sex desires comes never touch your sex organs with your hands just go to a long drive
Kashi
Chris, I thank you for the word of God you used in the comments above. An example that a person relate to. Keep motivating people like us, may God bless you.
Hi Peter, what Chris said is very important but have u really given your life to Jesus?, if u haven’t it is very needful cos He promised to give us rest from our yokes(Matthew 11:28-30) only if you come to Him.
segun
hmmm a friend lured me into this and it has been so hard for me to let go of this act am tired I have lost so many things due to this act even I have exposed my secrets to so many people but still I still find it difficult to come out my relationship with jesus has dwindling hot today cold tommorrow pls help me my career is at stake i easily forget things due to this I have just practised the act nw pls I need ur prayers and counsel pls help me.
Hello, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. You are commenting on a blog post with 6 essential steps to quitting. Have you tried them? It sounds like maybe you still have too much access and it might be time to shut down as many doors to porn as you can.
Demi
Hey my name is Demi and I’m extremely addicted to pornography and masturbation…my emotions towards women are dying… i need help. Contact me pls
Hello, Demi – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. What have you tried? There are 6 great suggestions in the blog post here. There are many places you could call for help if you need to talk to someone also forums like http://www.nofap.com where you can find support from a lot of people who will understand what you’re going through.
LilEno Shaury
I’ve been wanking on porn for the past 8 years now and am a complete joke now skinny broke no girlfriend lack of confidence but I believe that all this is a thing of the past
Jesus loves me am a child of God
A man may be an addict and yet still a child of God this is time to change now and by the resurrection power of the holy spirit everything will be fine in Jesus Christ name.
Avoiding internet is the best possible way to quitting porn try to avoid internet usage for like a year I know I t will be difficult but know what you want deep down yourself.
Sir, please help me as I m in big trouble. I think that if you will suggest me something so it will help me better. Sir I feel so guilty as I know that if my parents will when come to know about my this very very bad habit then how they will feel.
In my childhood I was sexually harassed my a boy living in my neighborhood, and from that moment I also became addicted to porns. No I m only 14 and suffering to leave this bad habit.
Sometimes I feel depressed because in the eyes of other people I m a sincere and a respected boy but the reality only I know about myself .I feel so ashamed . This habit is affecting my academics and health too. Please suggest me some method to leave this bad habit
Hello, Rojer – it is so important to find someone to talk to. If that isn’t possible, then you will need to do some of the things that this blog post suggests, like starting with the devices that are giving you access to pornography. If there were an open door in your home and dangerous animals were coming in the door and threatening your life, what would you do? The answer seems obvious, but you would close and lock the door, right? The same is true for the “doors” that are open to the internet. Why keep them open? You can’t expect a different result (stop looking at porn) if you continue to do the same things. Your body, brain, and soul need to establish new habits and patterns. I hope some of this is helpful! God is for you. He doesn’t get disgusted with your sin. He isn’t surprised by your sin. He entered into your sin through the Cross of Jesus Christ and said, “I see you. I know you. I love you. Come to me.” No condemnation. None. The Cross destroyed condemnation for those who put their faith and trust in Jesus (Romans 8:1).
Peace to you, Chris
Akintaju Alexander
Pray to God,
Summon courage,
And tell your Parents
guys I have same problem of watching porn and masturbation it is really affecting my life honestly and my studies each time I read I forget easily and I realize it is my porn and masturbation habit that cause it guys I really wanna stop and I need serious help cause it is ruining my life
I know how you feel Ahmed. Some people may not be aware, but porn addiction free people can build cognitive skills and it’s easier for them to study and preform academically in school. Opposed to a porn addict in which masturbating and porn impedes cognitive skills. You may ask if this is true. But I know this through first had experience.
Few months ago iam so addicted to porn when my sex desires comes i just watched to porn and masturbated slowly slowly i realised that porn can damage my life, my relationship,my behaviour, my mind and my studies. And now i realised if i dont stop the addiction of porn it can destroy my life.. So i decided to stop watch porn forever, i realised that the sex in porn are not real in real sex i realised i they all are doing it for money…. So finaly i quit for porn forever and i will never watch it again
Guys we all are humans and we all have sex desires when sex desires comes dont touch your sex organs with your hands.. And just go to outside and feel the fresh air and watch porn when the sex desires comes. Stop thinking about sex your problem will be solved. Thank you
I am a porn addict and I really want to stop. also I would like to be friends with the person that said that this life destroying habit is affecting his or her singing profession, if it is possible I would really appreciate it. thanks
actually I think u should try talking to someone, not just anyone but someone that u know is in Christ, then try pray for God mercy and then try reading the word of God, Roman 3:23-24 .it helped me I believe it will help u too. just don’t give uppppp
phillip heaton
Hey y’all I’ve been addicted ta porn since 2006 and I’m 22 fixin’ ta have my first child in june. I have try ta give it up doin’ somethin’ else I love ta do like video games or do somethin’ that I I don’t do much like read my bible. I’m not worth anythin’ any more but I want ta quit been wantin’ ta quit but it something I can’t let go. I have quit smokin’ at the snap of a finger and I’ve done it since I was 13/14. So why can’t I do this at the snap of a finger. I know why cause I’ve walked too far from God and let the devil walk in and intervine. But now its time ta walk the other wayand let God walk in and intervine. I hope what I’ve said may help some and we should start a group thing where its porn aa lol if drinkers can have group things with other drinkers why not porn addicts do the same
Hi, Phillip – a lot of porn strugglers count on accountability to stay clear. Especially for you, as you jump into being a father and wanting to set a strong, positive example for your child (BTW, congratulations!). If you can’t find a trusted friend to talk to, then there are virtual accountability groups, like: https://www.bravehearts.org that might help?
Hello, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Many people discover that breaking the cycle of sexual addiction, including pornography, is the toughest fight of their lives. Don’t hate yourself. Don’t give the devil that much control. Jesus hates the porn, but is hopelessly and endlessly in love with you. Turn to Him. Start fresh and lean on His power. Take 1 or 2 of the steps in this blog post to begin.
Chris
Lekan
Have you considered having an accountability partner. It would help you with your cravings
Tonney
I am Tonney, a first year student at the university studying Bachelor of Mathematics and Computer Science. I started watching porn 5 years ago. At that time I was in high school and I loved it because since the time I started musturbating my performance in school inreased tremendously. I always toped at least 3 subjects in every exam. Since then I put pornography and musturbation as my first option. I made it so secrective that no one could ever suspect I was such immoral. Later after my my highschool certificate musturbation changed into a daily basis part of me. I couldn’t realize the damage it could have caused in my life. After joining campus the year 2016 september i realized my concentration was very low. Even though I tried all my best I still have the rough time in class. I had taken musturbation as a daily routine. In my first semester I failed almost all my exams but by God’s grace I still had a chance. School became hard as I could not cover at the pace my fellow classmates did. Still I was there taking doses of my frequent monster that always eats me up little by little. Later in my second semester i was so worried about my performance and when we closed campus I told my dad that I was not ready for the Second year that was commencing this September. It was easy to convince a parents they both agreed with me. I faked it that studying at home could give me enough concentration. I had bet tell anyone about this but I hope I am I the right place. Please my beloved ones, Who can help me achieve my dreams???
Hi my name is bri…. i am a christian… i try my best but ever since starting a very heavy masturbation session after being mollested at age 12, its very hard for me to stop…. i actually started playing sex games at 10 after being exposed to sex by a classmate, now i dont know what to do… all except trust God…. i was hoping someone here could give me a word of advice because i just finished watching porn again and im 16 Help!!!
Hey there,
It sounds to me like you need a therapist who can help you process the sexual trauma you’ve suffered. As a therapist myself, I would see the porn and masturbation as symptoms of underlying trauma that needs to be treated. I hope you’ll approach your parents, let them know that you want help for the trauma you’ve suffered, and ask for an appointment with a therapist who specializes in trauma. Peace to you, Kay
My name is James i started watching porn way before was even in my teens though sometimes i went months and even years without watching porn ….i’m 15 now and I wanna stop….but what irritates me is that every time i try….i can stop for a some time then i eventually break
I am addicted to pornography for about 4.5 years from now………..I watch porn on daily basis and average i mastburtes twice a day regularly…….from all these years i am mastburting and watching porn regularly………Sometimes I mastburtes 10 times a day……..I have got really dull in my real life……….please please help me!
I really don’t want to spend my life like this.I will do every possible thing to get rid of it.
Hello, Jazzy – I’m sorry that you are struggling. So sorry. There are 6 steps in the article. Some are pretty drastic. Have you tried them? You have to really want to quit. Otherwise, you won’t beat this.
hey guys my name is marylyne iam also addicted to porn i try not opening the sites but i end up opening them it has really ruined my life please help me
Hi, Marylyne – I’m sorry that you’re struggling. What have you tried? The post lays out 6 essential steps. We find that if done, they often work. But, you have to really want to quit.
Chris
Nwaneri
hi am Emma thank God I find this site today for the experience I have gotten From people concerning watching porn ,with God grace we can achieve it because I have been trying on my own to stop for weeks or month I will later see my self doing it. I need an advice on this bad habit . Thank you convenanteye. com
Doctor,
I am only 13 years old. I have an extreme addiction to porn.It started when I was 8. My mind is forcing me for masterbation and seeing porn videos. I can’t even control myself. Now I started to get deceived from my studies and started bad behaviour. I feel so much wrong doing this things. How can I quit porn, Doctor Weiss?
Masturbation is normal! It feels good, and it’s a part of your whole self, which includes your sexuality. It’s private, but it’s not shameful. It shouldn’t take over your life, but it’s fine as a part of your healthy physical self.
Problems arise with masturbation, as with many other good things, when we use it as an unhealthy coping mechanism when we are overly stressed, upset, etc. We can all be vulnerable to using good things–food, wine, exercise, Netflix–to cope in unhealthy ways. Instead of feeling our feelings and processing through them, we substitute a behavior that feels good in the moment but didn’t actually solve the problem and may in fact produce more problems.
Unfortunately, there is huge shame around sexuality in Christian circles, and you might beging to recognize that the shame itself is part of the problem. In fact, at this point I suspect that your formula might start with shame itself, and as you feel distressed over shame from masturbation, you then masturbate to feel better in the moment.
Hi, Gideon – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. If you’re 14, then I’m sorry, but in all honesty, you’re probably not strong enough on your own to beat porn. You’ll need the help of other loving adults, controls on your devices, and awesome software, like Covenant Eyes, to help you stay clean. Can you do that? Whether you’re 14 or 40, most just aren’t strong enough to battle this issue on their own. Most all people who recover were successful because of a group of people that helped them! You can do this.
Hi, Ava – please see my response to your comment, which I hope was helpful. Here’s what it was:
Hi, Ava – thank you for being brave and sharing your struggle on this blog post. That’s tough. The blog post goes through 6 things that are essential for getting out of porn. At your age, my basic recommendation is to (1) tell me how you access porn and I can recommend a way to close that door, (2) tell one other person you trust about the issue. Here’s the truth – whether you’re 12, 22, or 82, you probably can’t really beat porn on your own. It usually takes a team. It’s a tough, tough addiction. That’s it – just 2 steps. That’s enough for now.
At age 12, I have a lot of hope for you to find a way to beat this! You have an amazing life in front of you. I worked over 10 years with kids in junior high just like you and there isn’t much that I love more than watching kids like you have an amazing life! We can do this. Please let me know what else you need.
Hi, Ava – thank you for being brave and sharing your struggle on this blog post. That’s tough. The blog post goes through 6 things that are essential for getting out of porn. At your age, my basic recommendation is to (1) tell me how you access porn and I can recommend a way to close that door, (2) tell one other person you trust about the issue. Here’s the truth – whether you’re 12, 22, or 82, you probably can’t really beat porn on your own. It usually takes a team. It’s a tough, tough addiction. That’s it – just 2 steps. That’s enough for now.
At age 12, I have a lot of hope for you to find a way to beat this! You have an amazing life in front of you. I worked over 10 years with kids in junior high just like you and there isn’t much that I love more than watching kids like you have an amazing life! We can do this. Please let me know what else you need.
Best, Chris
Kelvin
I bless God for what he has been doing in my life. I didn’t masturbate throughout the last one month which has not happen for over 7years. Bless God. He is the way. Please if you still find yourself in these sinful act or any other unholy act, repent and turn away from your sins. Jesus Christ of Nazareth is the only way, the truth and the life… seek his face in prayers and fasting and he shall surely have mercy on you. Do not forget to be determined, All these has helped me.
I will tell you that when I was a young man my father was a preacher at a SMALL church. He had a horrendous negative childhood, his mother died when he was eleven and had to be raised by a father, my grandfather who was a total creep. He abused my father, and because of that my father became a monster to us kids and his wife as well. And this man kept “popular photograghy” mags in the bathroom of all places. As a 5th grader when I looked at some of these “NUDE” images and was confused. My peter erected just by looking at these “TAME” photos. My father deliberately refused to discuss the birds and the bees. Magazines is how I learned about sex, and would actually shake looking at these magazines at the book store back in the day when they were displayed on news stands. I got married hopefully to legally have sex with my wife. Well guess what after a few years of horrible sex, we went to a counselor and see says that she was TOUCHED by a boy at age ten, so for that reason I get NO sex and on top of that does not even touch me ever. Married for 30 years, she hasn’t had sex with me for 28 yrs. The only reason the bible gives for divorce is infidelity. If you live in a horrible marriage where not sex is aloud, how do I let my sexual desires just die, like he killed off her sex drive? My life is not worth living. My father rejected me. my wife has rejected me, I see NO GOOD IN ME AT ALL. and am almost convinced that God has abandoned me on account of my grievous sin. I see no reason for living
So I have let porn rule my life of 45 yrs. I am now 58 and this started when I was 13, I SEE NO WAY OUT EXCEPT SUICIDE,
Chris McKenna
Hello, Mark – I’m sorry you’re in such a desperate spot. Your childhood experience of being molested is devastating. I can sense how immensely difficult it must be to make sense of why this happened to you. Suicide is NOT the way out. Please hear me.
I’m not equipped to walk you through the healing of that wound, but there are therapists who can. Can you find one? I’m deeply concerned about your comments about suicide – here’s the truth…you have unmeasurable value! Your life is a precious gift and a blessing to this planet. Unique. Unrepeatable. Your past experience does not have to rule your present. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, promise me you’ll call this number (Suicide hotline): 1-800-273-8255. They also have a chat feature that always has someone there to respond.
God is for you! Mark, you can get through this, and it will be hard work, but it’s worth it. Remember the strength you have in Christ – Romans 8 can remind you (can you go read that right now?). The cross of Jesus Christ IS strong enough to overcome everything. Even this.
Peace, Chris
Chris McKenna
Hello, Mark – [this is the same response I typed before but I want to make sure you see it] I’m sorry you’re in such a desperate spot. Your childhood experience of being molested is devastating. I can sense how immensely difficult it must be to make sense of why this happened to you. Suicide is NOT the way out. Please hear me.
I’m not equipped to walk you through the healing of that wound, but there are therapists who can. Can you find one? I’m deeply concerned about your comments about suicide – here’s the truth…you have unmeasurable value! Your life is a precious gift and a blessing to this planet. Unique. Unrepeatable. Your past experience does not have to rule your present. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, promise me you’ll call this number (Suicide hotline): 1-800-273-8255. They also have a chat feature that always has someone there to respond.
God is for you! Mark, you can get through this, and it will be hard work, but it’s worth it. Remember the strength you have in Christ – Romans 8 can remind you (can you go read that right now?). The cross of Jesus Christ IS strong enough to overcome everything. Even this.
Peace, Chris
Mark McCollum
I was told I had to take anti-depressants by a doctor and my wife. Well I finally decided after 29 yrs of taking this medicine that thats it . It has ruined my personality. I cannot chuckle and laugh communicating with other humans including members of my church. Imagine if you ALMOST were unable to laugh about anything. Most normal humans could not carry on confronted with this inability to connect and have a conversation with another human, fake laughing MY LIFE IS NOT WORTH LIVING. My disposition and countenance Are so sad I cannot even SMILE. It is horrible to have to live this way. I must tell you that as a sixteen year old, I had a job but my dad was supposed to pick me up and give me a ride home. But he was so cruel he would not speak on the way home {4 mi) one night a customer offered to give me a ride home. This man it turned out was a child molester. he assaulted me and I have been bitter to my dad who died in 1991. He never even told me there were homos. So for since then I have tried to prove that I was Not homo by indulging in porno material ever since. The regard I feel for myself is so low, living life is a total misery to me.
To put it bluntly I must remain celibate for the rest of my life. My wife and her SUPPOSED reason she she has no interest in sex because a boy touched her when she was ten, 52 years ago. and that’s just tough, I have to put up with it. I know of NO MAN who would stay with a woman like this, be he CHRISTIAN or NON CHRISTIAN. She is not Christian, has been told of the gospel and rejected Christ. So according to my pastor I should stay with her so maybe she will come around. I made a serious error marrying her. I literally ruined my life. Again I implore complete celibacy is all I have to look forward to in this marriage I am in. And I have a lot of trouble praising God for this!
Wow. Your wife is a victim of sexual abuse. And you don’t seem to care much about the trauma she’s suffered, only about your own lack of sex.
That’s pretty amazing.
It sounds like you don’t care about her at all, and are only interested in what this relationship could do for yourself.
I wonder if that’s indicative of the rest of your relationship, outside of sexual relations? If so, that could be a real indicator as to why your wife isn’t interested in much of a relationship with you.
please i’m DAV,i’m 18 years and I in need your help over my porn addiction .please I need full support over my masturbation addiction because it cause injury to my penis and porn thoughts don’t wanna life leave me.Porn is affecting my life and academics because it doesn’t bring development in my life.it’s being 3 years I have being doing this.Please hell is real and I don’t want to miss the kingdom of God .please help my heart is in cruel hatred of porn.I need your help.
Chris McKenna
Hi, Dave – I replied to this same comment on a previous string, which I hope you’ve seen. If not, I’ve copied and pasted it here:
“Hi, Dave, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Can I ask some direct questions? When you look at the 6 items listed in the blog post, which have you tried? Have you gotten rid of your phone? Do you have accountability in your life? Have you made a clear and effective decision about this sin? You will not be able to break free unless you’re willing to do whatever it takes to break free. Counseling, dumb phone, whatever it takes! Are you willing to do that?”
Dav
please i’m DAV,i’m 18 years and I in need your help over my porn addiction .please I need full support over my masturbation addiction because it cause injury to my penis and porn thoughts don’t wanna life leave me.Porn is affecting my life and academics because it doesn’t bring development in my life.it’s being 3 years I have being doing this.Please hell is real and I don’t want to miss the kingdom of God .please help my heart is in cruel hatred of porn.I need your help.
Hi, Dave, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Can I ask some direct questions? When you look at the 6 items listed in the blog post, which have you tried? Have you gotten rid of your phone? Do you have accountability in your life? Have you made a clear and effective decision about this sin? You will not be able to break free unless you’re willing to do whatever it takes to break free. Counseling, dumb phone, whatever it takes! Are you willing to do that?
Chris
Bahman
First of all we need to find what are the reason that make us and created problems for us for watching that bad videos that we call porn that destroyed the young life’s in every place this problem happens when you are alone and don’t do not see any person to told you the things you’re doing isn’t good To stop watching porn, you have to ignore it. Don’t say it’s last time I didn’t do it again and I’m not the best person to say this but, the only way that you will efficiently quit pornography is by having a relationship with You God . We can’t do this stuff on our own. When we have a true relationship with God these desires will come but with quran we can fight temptation.The last and only way for solving this issue is where and when anytime you want to watching this video you can go to YouTube and listen to Quran it’s solving your problem.
I’m 15 years old and i also have this problem of masturbating and watching pornography.I have had this problem for a year now and it seems impossible for me to stop .I have tried stoping by my self but to no vail.I really need to stop this habit because it has affected my life in so many ways most especially educationally and also my religious life.Please if there is a way for me to stop this behaviour of mine,please help me follow that way.
Hi, Kingsley – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. I can sense the real struggle in your post. The blog post here provides some clear steps you can take, and too often, people overlook the first one which is to actually make a clear and effective decision to stop. If you don’t do that, then you won’t get rid of the smartphone or device that you’re using. What are you willing to do? You won’t be able to quit unless you’re willing to “gouge out the eye” or “remove the arm” if that’s the problem.
Also, you probably need to admit that you can’t beat this. Seriously. You can’t! Not on your own strength. You’ve tried that, right? And each time, you try to convince yourself that you’re strong enough not to look the next time. Get open and honest with someone. Only a very, very small population of strugglers are able to decide on their own to quit, but it’s so rare.
God is for you! And, so am I.
Regards, Chris
Sara
I watch porn.I am a porn addicted.Im really sorry.hate myself because too many times I want to quit but I did it again.I hate the shame come after watching
Hi, Sara – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. I can sense the real struggle in your post. The blog post here provides some clear steps you can take, and too often, people overlook the first one which is to actually make a clear and effective decision to stop. If you don’t do that, then you won’t get rid of the smartphone or device that you’re using. What are you willing to do? You won’t be able to quit unless you’re willing to “gouge out the eye” or “remove the arm” if that’s the problem. God is for you and so am I!
Regards, Chris
God wins anyway
I don’t know much but i know the “law of attraction” works. Whether you are thinking of watching porn or not, you are thinking about porn, so there is a very high chance of you watching porn, same applies to masturbation.
To a person that has done this for long it may be hard to resist the thought, since every sort of nudity triggers his/her mind to want to watch porn.
The solution could be to control your mind, James Allen (my favorite writer) said, “Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control.”. Albert Einstein’s theory to happiness: “A calm and modest life brings more happiness than ….“, Bruce lee also said: “Empty your mind, be formless, …..”.
I think if you want to quit so bad, wake up every morning write down(very important) a set of things your going to do throught the day make sure reading something life changing like a bible or book(personally love James Allen’s books) is among, then clear your mind and then program your mind to only do that which you have written down, do this for two months straight and believe me or not your life will change. Don’t let something small destroy your entire life, when you are meant for greatness. I guess none of you was born to masturbate your lives away, but something far greater. Commit and focus on your growth, force yourself if you must because this will determine your destiny. I think personal discipline is key to changing anything in life.
If you don’t program your mind, your mind will be programmed.
hi my name is rabih and I’ve been a porn addict for as long as I can remember it really destroyed my social life and my acedemics I don’t have any friend or family members that will understand it and I was really hopinh for someone to help me and hear me out.
thank you.
Hi, Rabin – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Have you tried a forum where you might find others who will understand your situation? Nofap.com has a lot of forums, if that’s an alternative to finding someone to talk to.
Regards,
Chris
Nate
Hi. Was very happy to see other people who had the same problem as me. Well not happy but it gave me hope. I have decided to try to quit porn. I quit alcohol and pills . Dealt with addiction for years . But I don’t know what to do with this one .
Hi, Nate – well, this blog post has some great advice. People often glance over the first one in the list. Actually making a FIRM DECISION about this issue. You seriously have the power to overcome this. Make a clear and effective decision. Then, ask yourself, “am I willing to do whatever it takes to remove this issue from my life?” Dumb phone. Therapy. Accountability. Confession. WHATEVER IT TAKES. If the answer is no, and you don’t really want to quit, then you won’t. I hope the best for you!
Hi, Mordecai – being open is good. Nice job. Please hear me on this – you are loved. There’s nothing wrong with you. And, you are not alone. I’ve been there and understand where you are.
It sounds like you want to do the right thing. So, here’s the issue – the choice is yours. No one can stop you from looking at porn. NO ONE! If you’re a Christian teenager, then it’s time to start believing that you’re a child of God. We were made for more. It’s time to be men. It’s time to love and respect the women around us AND on our screens. Even if they don’t respect themselves, WE have to decide to choose respect for them. This is on us. No more excuses. More than conquerors! Read Romans 8, all of it, to see what you were created to be. A warrior. Fearless. Of God. Untouchable. Unshakable. Settle for nothing less! Is your phone the issue? Then get rid of it. Do you struggle at night? Then no internet after 9pm. Do you masturbate? Then tell someone it’s a problem and admit when you’re struggling. How badly do you want this? You have to want it.
Let me be lovingly honest with you – you can’t do this alone. 1-on-1 with technology, whether you’re 14 or 43 (like me), you will eventually lose. The Internet will wear you down. It is a heat-seeking missile for our weaknesses.
I have faith in you. God is rooting for you! And, I am, too.
Peace, Chris
Amar
Hi I got addicted to porn when I was, around 16 and it effected my academic so I decide to quit porn and I left porn for about an year and got good A in my class 10 but I don’t know I am again addicted to porn and I am not able to focus properly on academics and work. I love to study but not able to focus those annoying thought come to me plz anyone help me
Hi Amar, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Can I ask some direct questions? When you look at the 6 items listed in the blog post, which have you tried? Have you gotten rid of your phone? Do you have accountability in your life? Have you made a clear and effective decision about this sin? You will not be able to break free unless you’re willing to do whatever it takes to break free. Counseling, dumb phone, whatever it takes! Are you willing to do that?
Listen – you quit once and you will quit again. Fall down seven times, but get up eight times. Right?
God is for you! You can do this! But, you have to be willing to “pluck out your eye” before God can really help you. It’s your choice.
Chris
grace
I’m 16 and want to quit watching porn. It’s making me miserable. One minute I want to and another it looks disgusting to me. And I even tell anyone.
Chris McKenna
Hello, Grace – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. When you read the list of activities in the blog post, have you tried these? Have you actually gotten rid of the problematic devices? What about Accountability? Just telling anyone isn’t quite the same as really wanting to quit, closing the doors to porn, and doing whatever it takes to live porn-free. I wish you the very best.
Chris
Gavin hrdlichka
Hey, my name is Gavin hrdlichka, I turn 15 next week, and that marks my 4.5th year of using porn. It is exteamly painful looking back that far. I need real help. My parent have blocked just about every possible way for Internet at my house, for a good reason, but I always find a way to access something bad, I am a good hacker btw, but not for a good purpose. I would consider myself to be a smart person and a semi mature teen, my parents did good on raising. Some personal aspects are that I am really tall, thin, but am starting to body build to keep the guilt of porn off my shoulders. And I go to a college high school called cecfc. Every one likes my, but when it comes to relationships, I feel lonely and scared. When this one girl and I were ‘dating’ I felt full and for the whole time I never used porn or master bated, not even real sex. I felt like an honorable guy for like 4 months! But when things started to crumble, due to me being oblivious to like every thing ( I have add), I lost it, like real bad. I would search for every possible jpg, MP4, vid or connection to images possible! I am so done with this shit, really! I am Christian, but I am working on a better foundation with a new church. I have tried to find people to help, and for accountability, but I can’t find anyone right. I am a broken guy right now. I need a better new year, 2018.
Please help. Please 😭😔
Hi Gavin,
I’m a counselor and a mom, and your letter here just breaks my heart for you. I think it’s really normal to feel scared about relationships, and I think you’re so wise to recognize this in yourself. I also appreciate that you’re able to recognize how your body image impacts you as well. Seeing how the pain of your breakup contributed to an upswing in porn use is really wise as well. These are great insights for someone so young, and I think this kind of insight will serve you well in the future. When we allow ourselves to feel how we feel, and to recognize the truth about ourselves, then we can make better choices about what to do with those feelings. I think “accountability” is good IF IF IF it really helps us address the PAIN that drives the behavior. If you can find a person or two who can dive into the pain with you and help you feel connected and not so lonely and scared, I think that might be a real help to you. I don’t know if your dad might be able to do that? Or a good friend? Maybe even a counselor, if your parents would be willing to help with that? I think you need someone you can be really honest with about your emotional life, because I think you can see that the porn use is really a symptom of the pain. It’s fine to treat the symptoms, but getting at the root of the problem–loneliness, fear, pain, lack of connection–that will be really useful to your long-term healing. Peace to you, Kay
Ultimate
I have read a lot of comments here but I can categorically submit that no one here is as addicted as I am. Though I was masturbating without porn before, I started masturbating in 1999 when one of our neighbors thought me how to. ( Till today I still course that day and that guy.) I was only eleven then. Thereafter he told me how pleasurable it was and propelled me to do it. That was the day my sinking hole was dogged.
I continued masturbating without porn then until around 2006. That was when I graduated from high school. How it degenerates into porn I cannot tell. Initially, I was buying porn CDs and DVDs knowing that internet porn is expensive but, with the advent of free uncountable internet porn sites I sank deeper in that hole. I could spend all night watching porn. This has been happening for over 10 years.
I have read a lot of books but still no avail, I only quit for about two to six months initially but these days after three to seven days I am back to it. Being a computer expert I know how I can recover my deleted porn videos on my computer, on my smartphone I even know how I can hide it from anyone.
I have promised never to watch porn over 1000 times but I am still in it. I can hardly tell you 5 of the name of celebrities in normal movies but I can list you over 60 names of pornstars.
Because of this deep addiction, I sometimes feel suicidal intent. This addiction is affecting my life greatly in the sense that I am supposed to be much more than where I am in every area of my life. My relationship is in shamble, I see women like a piece of trash, I am hollow within. I have been hurting my wife emotionally since we got married I cannot even command her respect for I am no longer man enough for what sort of a man will not make love to his wife for more than six months. I prefer to masturbate to porn other than to have sex with my wife. I am a living dead and I know it. I wish to stop it but I cannot. Porn is just too powerful.
Please, Covenant Eye please do all you can to help me out of this hole for I have hit the bottom. All I need now is help, help, and help. And I will forever be grateful.
You were a victim of child sexual abuse. It’s very common for victims to reenact the abuse they have suffered, and it sounds to me like this is what’s been happening for you. Pleace find a therapist who can help you process the trauma you suffered in childhood.
Peace to you,
Kay
Sunny
You might feel like you are the only one that is as much addicted as you are, but I will promise you that regardless of the replies here that you are not. Except for the first part in your story I recognize each single part of it in my own life.
We all get addicted one way or the other, at the end they are all the same. The devil has his sophisticated way to get everyone in his path.
I recognize all the bad aspects of a porn addiction, I have no doubt it’s destroying my life, that it is blocking true potential, but it is sooooo hard to find strength. So hard, so hard! No one here will deny that I suppose.
I really wonder from time to time what it is that we need to stop. How far do we allow our lives to be destroyed until we realize it is enough. How far for real? How much do we allow the devil to take away from us? And why?
I know the feeling of being free, but not ‘truly’ free. I simply do not have the strength yet. I want to though…I really do!
I keep trying time after time and I will certainly not give up. It’s a rotten root that has grown to deep inside of us, physically and mentally!
I will try to pray for all of us, including myself, to be able to step in the Light and stay in the Light!
Paul
Gavin, God LOVES you and he will never leave you or forsake you, that is his Word and promise to all. He loves us right in the struggle of our sin, whatever it is. 2 Corinthians 12: 9 about Paul’s “thorn in the flesh”.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me”.
In my own struggles, I have found that to be true, Jesus is our GRACE, and His power is made perfect in our weaknesses. Gavin, you run to Jesus in prayer, cry out to Him, tell him what you want HIM to do for you. He knows your struggle before you ask. He created you and He alone can heal you and your hurt. You have 3 strong powers in Christ Jesus, HIS NAME, HIS BLOOD, and HIS WORD, learn of them and use them. Come against temptation by using God’s Word, when ungodly thoughts begin, I will quote 2 Corinthians 10:5, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”
Ephesians 6:12 says, For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. God used the Word to defeat satan and you also can use His Word to defeat him against struggles.
I PRAISE God for the Power of His Word. Books are great, counselors are great, but Jesus is greater than all and He does use people to help us sometimes. Be encouraged today Gavin, Jesus has won our victory in every temptation and struggle and you are not alone.
I’ve been off and on on porn for a long time. sometimes, I stop watching it for more than a month before some silly event happened at work or home then I go back to it. now I feel like I won’t be able to get out of it even though I’ve been praying to Jesus Christ for help. at a time in my life Jesus is all that matter’s but now I can’t even focus on Him or my study . reading the Bible become hard and boring. if you can help please message me at adewumioluwamayowamoses@gmail.com
Hello, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. What have you tried? The blog post provides some essential steps for breaking free but before I offer my thoughts, it would help to know what has or has not worked. God is for you! You can’t do this alone.
Chris
SpeedyMcBeaty
I’m 34 and I’ve been beatin’ this sumbitch everyday since I was 15. Almost 20 years. I do want to quit. HELP!
Hello, what have you tried from the blog post? There are 6 things listed. One must be willing to do anything to quit or it will keep coming back.
Chris
hello everyone. iam Amin, Nigerian. i’ve been addicted to porn given my years of watching, although i’ve been trying to quit since the last 5 years but annoyingly, i usually find myself browsing, watching and downloading this ugly stuff. i’ve tried different methods but all to no avail. while marriage may solve the problem to a large extent, does it means that one can never stop once one start? need answers please……
Hello, I’m a 16 years old boy and it’s 3 years that I have addicted to masturbating and watching porn. It is a big sin in my religion and every time I promise my god to don’t repeat it again but after a few days I repeat. I’m really losing my hope. may god forgive me? I don’t have any magazines and downloaded videos so the house is clean. I really need to quit that damn thing. please help.
Masturbation is normal! It feels good, and it’s a part of your whole self, which includes your sexuality. It’s private, but it’s not shameful. It shouldn’t take over your life, but it’s fine as a part of your healthy physical self.
Problems arise with masturbation, as with many other good things, when we use it as an unhealthy coping mechanism when we are overly stressed, upset, etc. We can all be vulnerable to using good things–food, wine, exercise, Netflix–to cope in unhealthy ways. Instead of feeling our feelings and processing through them, we substitute a behavior that feels good in the moment but didn’t actually solve the problem and may in fact produce more problems.
Unfortunately, there is huge shame around sexuality in some religious contexts. Often, shame itself becomes the problem, as you feel distressed over shame from masturbation, you then masturbate to feel better in the moment.
I am 15 years old and while I don’t watch porn very regularly, I watch it quite often. Even when I am not watching it, I keep thinking about it at unwanted times. I have touched myself while watching it but have never masturbated and orgasmed. I want to lead a pure life free of porn and sexual immorality, as it distances me from God. I have tried website filters and cleaning the house of porn, but I can’t seem to control myself even though I want to. I am very embarrassed and ashamed of this habit so I can’t bring myself to discuss it with anyone either. Please help me.
Hello, Savli – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. But, I believe you will continue to struggle if you try to battle this alone. Just look back on your life and your attempts! How many times has it been! Find someone to talk to. I’m telling you that it’s the only way.
Chris
Noah
I’m 15 and in 10th grade and I’ve been addicted to porn and masturbation for three years now. I stopped for almost a year but then I started up again. I want to stop but I keep falling to the desire to do it. It’s affected me academically, spiritually, emotionally. I’ve told myself I don’t want to get in a relationship until I quit but I can’t seem to fight the desire. I really, really do want to quit but I haven’t seem to do it alone and feel like I’m getting more and more distant from the Lord and it truthfully worries me a lot. I’m losing my way and it scares me.
Hi, Noah – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. You said something really important at the end of your comment, “I haven’t seemed to [be able] to do it alone…” And, you’re absolutely right. One on one with porn you’re going to keep losing. So, this might lead you to some terrifying questions, but who can you tell? What are you willing to do to break free? Get rid of your phone? Let’s be honest…you don’t need it. Your soul isn’t worth it, right? Big questions, but if you’re brave enough to post your comment here, then I’m confident that you’re brave enough to take hard steps and invite the power of Accountability and the Cross into this issue. You’re going to be ok. But, it requires action – today!
Chris
ANONYMOUS
i have been an porn addict from nearly 3to4 years and it is very difficult to leave the habbit . whenever i try not to watch porn it always fails I am getting faded up now … as i am INDIA I am not able to communicate my problem with anybody of them . I have very hopes on your website . sorry but I cant name myself…. THANKS
Hello, friend. I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. The blog post lays out some solid steps you can take, including removing access to the devices causing the problem. At the end, it really comes down to how badly do you want to quit? The choice is yours and I truly believe that you have more power here than you are giving yourself credit for.
Chris
Arash
I am a married man, I love my wife, she is my life! I am 28 and it is about 12 years I watch porn and more than 1 year that I do sex chat which is worse than watching porn. I want with all f my heart to stop it. I am a PhD students in one of the best universities in the world. It affects my life and studies. I can do what others do by spending half time so I still could make it. I feel bad for myself. Except from that I am a nice person, I think. BUT it is really destroying me now! I wanna quit and I quit. I wanna keep connection to somebody here.
Hello, friend. I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. The blog post lays out some solid steps you can take, including removing access to the devices causing the problem. At the end, it really comes down to how badly do you want to quit? The choice is yours and I truly believe that you have more power here than you are giving yourself credit for. And, I need to ask you to stop the sex chat now. Your wife is worth it! You know this. It’s time to get serious and start fresh.
Chris
Rajesh
Hi Arash, my story is like yours. And I would like to support each other, as I am married and PhD student too. And sex chat and adult dating site surfing is ruining my studies, personal life, future prsopects. I think we two can become 1+1=11 by supporting each other. If you are interested get in touch on my emai drrajesh sahu79@gmail.com.
Take care and regards
Rajesh
Ron
I am 64 years old , I enjoy being nude around the house it feels good to be nude. I have been naked around the house for about 7 years. I stared looking at porn about 1 pe 2 years ago. It feels good to masturbate for my wife does not like sex any Mor and has not for at lest 15 years now so I do not get to have any sex so I masturbata. I helps to stay hard by watching porn but I am begging to dis like porn. What I want is to feel it myself again and that is why I started to look at porn. I do not buy porn or pay for porn I find it on the internet. I need to stop looking at porn for it make me feel ashamed .
Kevin
I have a porn addiction since the 5th grade. I’m 20 years old now. It makes me feel like crap to confess something as bad as that. It’s an endless cycle I can’t get out of. I would often think about it, but wouldn’t do it because I would regret exploiting explicit content for my own personal gain. Eventually I would go and do it, leaving me full of depression, sorrow, and anger because I told myself not to do it but I do it anyway. It makes me sick, disappointed, and ashamed of myself that I would do such vile things. It makes it harder for me to talk this over with somebody especially women because I’m afraid they would either resent me, reject me, or disregard me forever. Hell, I can’t even talk about this with my therapist because not only have I known her for such a long time, but she’s also a female, which makes me hold this back for a long period of time. It’s a decision that I will always regret making for the rest of my life…
It sounds to me like shame is the major problem you’re battling these days.
And it sounds to me like you’re resenting, rejecting, and disregarding yourself first of all, so that makes you believe that others will do the same.
This problem started for you when you were a CHILD. And honestly, at 20 years old, you’re still kind of a kid in my book. (My kids are your age.) It sounds to me like you weren’t protected from explicit content like you should have been as kid, and that you haven’t been supported through adolescence like you needed.
Please have some compassion for a very young person (YOU) who’s struggled with something pretty major without support or help.
And then please talk to your therapist about this. I’m a therapist, and here’s a secret: nothing shocks us. This is FAR FAR FAR from the worst thing we’ve ever heard.
I kind of hate to burst your bubble about how awful you are, but longt-term porn use is NORMAL and COMMON these days. Maybe it’s not healthy, but it’s just totally run-of-the-mill. This is a completely normal and SOLVEABLE problem. Talk to your therapist and get started. You’ll see.
Talk to your therapist. Be kind to yourself. You’re a good kid. Start believing it and living it, and have a good healthy life of peace and freedom.
Am 15 years old i always stop porn for a month then begin again i need help in stopping to watch it if anyone out there can help me please do i need HELP!!!!!
Hello, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. When you’re a young person, it can feel so lonely. But, that’s where porn does so much damage – when we’re all alone. Which is why it’s so important to listen to the advice in the blog post and get really serious about breaking free. Get rid of the phone if needed! Tell someone all about your problem! Otherwise, it’s just your will power and eventually, that will wear down. I truly hope you’re able to find someone you can trust to talk to and start using something like Covenant Eyes to help.
A friend of mine recently told me that he has been struggling with a pornography addiction and I wanted to do some research to see if there was any way I could help him. I really liked the advice to not only get rid of the pornography, but to stop it from coming in. I am going to recommend that my friend downloads a pornography blocker and hopefully he can make the right steps towards recovery.
I watched porn since I was 12, and start masterbatiin since I was 14 .
It ruined my life .. I lost interest in my girlfriend…. I had sex with prostitute , I became sex-addicted. And I masterbated everyday , in fact many time a day . I go to work without energy , feel sleepy everyday .i had many argument with my gf and at some point I was about to break up with her because I have no interest in having sex with her anymore. I wanted something more exciting , I want to have sex with different girls evernight. I feel bad to myself , I made my gf suffered for 7 years. I am about to proposed marriage. I want a better me. I want to change ! Thanks for good article. I will do it, I will stop watching porn
Hi, Ian – I applaud your effort. But, unless you’re really serious, nothing is going to change. Get rid of your device. Get someone you talk to or a 12-step program. Go to an addiction recovery program for a while. There are wounds in your sexual life that you should NOT take into marriage without serious therapy. Long before you get married. You’re not ready. Don’t go there. Marriage can be amazing. But, not with what you have going on. I’m sorry if this is hard to hear but I care enough about you, your future wife, and the beauty of marriage to be really honest.
hi am lubemba lugwalo zambian am also with this habit and i would love to stop it because it gets me sick gives me headache every time am left alone i think of doing it and if i dont i will get this headache until i do it please help me out my whtsap line +260966926829 anyone
Hi, Lubemba – I can’t help you through WhatsApp, but the blog post gives you 6 specific steps to take and I wonder if you’ve taken any of them? The first steps are yours.
Hi, can you please be more specific? There are 6 steps on the post – have you tried any of them or do you need any clarification?
Chris
yuvraj
I also 15 now and get addict from when i was 13. I want to quit bus whenever i frustate i cant stop myself from watching porn . And there is number of reason for what i want to quit it but i cant ….
I truly need afriend who help me to get out of this
plese somebody help me…???
Hi – being open is good. Nice job. Now, I’m going to ask your permission to be direct. It sounds like you can handle it.
It sounds like you want to do the right thing. So, here’s the issue – the choice is yours. No one can stop you from looking at porn. NO ONE! If you’re a Christian teenager, then it’s time to start believing that you’re a child of God. I’m being very direct, but I think we tend to take a too gentle approach with guys and watching porn. NO! We were made for more. It’s time to be men. It’s time to love and respect the women around us AND on our screens. Even if they don’t respect themselves, WE have to decide to choose respect for them. This is on us. No more excuses. More than conquerors! Read Romans 8, all of it, to see what you were created to be. A warrior. Fearless. Of God. Untouchable. Unshakable. Settle for nothing less! Is your phone the issue? Then get rid of it. Do you struggle at night? Then no internet after 9pm. How badly do you want this? You have to want it. You have to want freedom INSIDE and do things that prove you want it on the OUTSIDE.
I have faith in you. God is rooting for you! And, I am, too.
Peace, Chris
James Agyei
Hmmmm am 25 years and i’ve been watching porn on internet and masturbating for more than 6 years. Am a christian,who believes and have been baptised to the christiandom but yet still i find it VERY DIFFICULT to quit. Please am now ashamed of myself in this demonic act,so please daddy help me out. Because its worrying and killing me soul !
I am 29 years old now, I start Masturbate since 12 years old until age of 16 years old, I watch Pron internet for the Masturbation, I thought It just a normal for guy, but since last year, I read online and watch YouTube there were so famous of Benefits of NoFap, I read the article only realize that Pron Masturbation is an ADDICTION like a Drug. I try to stop it from Pron and Masturbate, but the longest I did was just 1 week, then I relapse again. I once got a gf before,Now I still always masturbate by imagine my ex gf and hv a sex with her.. What the shit..When I am together with her, I still have watch the Pron, but I don’t know it’s so serious, we have sex until she asked me, why you always want to have Sex? I did not answer her that time but I just want to have Sex with her until Someday she reluctant to have Sex with me.
Then I watch more Pron regulary to satisfy my need, sometime can up to 5 hrs the longest in the Pron Website, keep on browsing the new Pron Video.
The most times I Masturbated in a day was 7 times, that day really so black, Whole Day I feeling sleepy, even don’t have motivation to get my meals, but slept most of the day.
.It was really so affected me within this few years, My job as a salesperson, I cannot breakthrough my GOAL, lack of motivation, fear to meet with People, lack of social and so many things that affected my life. I have a lots of big dreams, but the problem is I cannot achieve my dreams by reach my Goal, already few years, year by year had gone, I still remain the same of me, feeling so tired, bored, Life just like passing a day to waiting for Die.
I am a Buddhist, I try to find a solution now, I read above so many left their comments, some few years and a few months, but I had Masturbate for so many years, I try to avoid myself to watch it and get rid of Masturbation, but after few days, I get a very big urge for Masturbate by imagine having a sex with my ex gf… What the shit…
Hello, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. First, your experience is consistent with others. Have you ever seen the movie Oblivion? Those machines that tell the remaining humans a lie and then suck the life out of the planet? Porn sucks the life out of those it infects. It tells a lot of great lies about satisfaction, love, intimacy. All false. It is a jealous issue. It won’t share your time, attention, life, desires, dreams, goals or future with anything else. It wants it all. You were made for MORE. Your life isn’t over yet. So, here I am, standing by your side, encouraging you to look at this list of 6 things in this blog post and now DO something. You have more power and ability than you think. Porn wants you to feel powerless. B.S. You can beat this, but it won’t be easy and it will probably get worse before it gets better. So, you’ll need friends who can pick you up and give you pep talks like this.
I wish you the best. Please have hope. Others have come through this. The path to freedom is strewn with casualties, but there are those who stand at the end, and all along the path, rooting for you.
Chris
Solomon
it’s very good advice I just want to say thank you.
Porn and masturbation works together. Porn stimulates masturbation. One of the reason why we engage in porn is due frustration. It takes God intervention to break free from it. May God help us all.
It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d without a doubt donate
to this outstanding blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS
feed to my Google account. I look forward to new updates and will talk about this blog with my Facebook group.
Talk soon!
Thank you for stepping forward and asking for help! That is certainly not an easy thing to do.
Do you have a trusted friend whom you can share your struggles with? At Covenant Eyes, we strongly encourage accountability. Our software provides this on a technology level, but we also encourage strugglers to turn to someone they trust for help. This could be a relative, friend, church leader, partner, etc. It will not be an easy journey, but if you are committed to defeating your addiction, you WILL be able to overcome porn! It’s never too late.
First, I want to thank you for admitting that you need help! That is the first step towards recovery! If you don’t have a friend that you can trust to hold you accountable, I’d like to recommend a church leader, relative, spouse, or co-worker. I guess what I’m saying is that you have anyone whom you trust to be your ally and help you use Covenant Eyes, ask them for help! This is a battle that you cannot fight alone.
Alright
Anybody here, please I need help
I’ve been looking/watching porn since I was tender and recently I found myself masturbating
I’m tired, to be honest, but whenever I try stopping it after two days, boom I see myself going back to it.
I’m tired.
Anyone here? I need help please 🙏 🙏
You are not alone in this fight! If anything, this blog and the thousands of comments that have been posted are proof that others struggle with pornography addiction. So, do not give up hope! If you have a friend, relative, church leader, or really anyone whom you can trust, ask them to hold you accountable and be an ally in your fight to end this addiction. Also, I would highly recommend that you download Covenant Eyes and start using it to be accountable to your technology usage. An ally will be able to help you with this as well!
Blessings,
Moriah
Sam
Praise God to Holy Heaven, I have been delivered from a lifetime of porn addiction! I am also an alcoholic, 23 years sober, and my deliverance from porn is more amazing to me than my delivery from alcoholism. I showed God that I was willing to be free by keeping current on my porn usage with my priest at church, coming to confession week after week, and he told me, “Don’t feel bad, there are many, many men coming to me with this problem.” I was in my 8th relationship since my divorce in 1992, and hoped that this lady would be “the one,” and someday be my wife. But God just set me up for release from my addiction. She broke up with me, and this brought me to my knees. I have been on them ever since, making time to spend with God every single day without fail. The minute she broke up with me, (she didn’t know about my porn addiction) I knew what it was about as far as God was concerned: the porn addiction. And amazingly, miraculously, the intense emotional pain I felt over this breakup snapped the porn addiction and I have been free ever since. It has also broken me free from “relationship addiction,” and now I do NOT have to have a girlfriend in order to “be Ok” in this world. My primary relationship is with God, and if he wants to bring me someone else someday, fine, Ok with me. But if he does not, that’s Ok too. I am delivered from a host of demons, and so very thankful. I hope this note will be read by guys who are in the throws if this addiction and it will be helpful to them. Thanks to God!
This is Sam again, just wanted to add: By the way I am NOT resisting temptation to look at porn. The temptation has been completely lifted, I feel no urge whatsoever, so that knawing urge that oppressed me for so long has been taken completely away. I want guys out there to have hope that they can be set free as I have been. When I think that I have not had the slightest urge to look at porn for the past 4 and a half years, I am absolutely amazed!
Moriah Dufrin
Sam,
Wow! Thank you for sharing your story. Praise God that he has freed you from the grasp of addiction and brought you closer to Him. May you continue to fight the good fight and cling to God as your only source of contentment.
Blessings,
Moriah
Jerry
I am also addicted to porn but I don’t know how to quit anytime I watch it I get wet an I ask for forgiveness but after 2weeks I find my self in it again
pls I need help on how to stop it finally
I want to commend you for reaching out and asking for help! This is no easy thing to do, but you are acknowledging your struggles and humbly admitting your need for recovery. Praise God for that!
If you have anyone in your life whom you can trust (a spouse, friend, relative, mentor, counselor, church leader), I would first encourage you to share your struggles with them and ask them to hold you accountable in this path towards recovery. I would also recommend that you download Covenant Eyes onto all of your technology devices. This software will capture and monitor your device activity, including any porn that you are watching. It will report this activity to an ally you have chosen. Through this form of accountability, you can work to overcome this addiction.
And ultimately, turn to God in repentance and ask him to change your heart. He is our Healer!
Blessings,
Moriah
I dont want to share
I dont watch porn during working days but out of nowhere during weekends i just simply start watching porn and really I feel bad from inside and guilty that I cannot go more than 5 days. I dont know what to do ?
Are you using Covenant Eyes? Our Screen Accountability software monitors your computer, phone, laptop, etc. and holds you accountable to what you are watching both online and offline. This has been an excellent tool to help SO many people overcome their addiction to pornography.
Blessings,
Moriah
Joseph
I was sexually molested when I was little, since then I’ve been addicted to watching porn, now am 26. . Although I pray against it when I go to church and even at home.. But some times the urge keeps coming back… Please what can I do to stop it permanently
Hey Joseph,
I’m a therapist, and in my opinion, you probably need trauma-informed therapy to help heal the wounds of the past so that you can make healthier choices in the present. I’ll give you a link to the Psychology Today therapist finder, where you can search via your zip code, and then filter your local search for therapists using a trauma-informed approach.
I hope that helps, Kay
Stevenson
I am so closed to everybody but still, I feel this loneliness inside me. I gave my life to Christ and became committed. I hated porn cuz I was a victim of it. Few months passed I thought I had breakthrough, but here I am still eating from my vomits I want my Jesus back.. I can’t even pray. I feel so guilty. Please what can I do to stop this completely.
Moriah Dufrin
Stevenson,
Many of those addicted to porn feel immense shame and guilt. This is normal! However, like all sin, porn is something that we CAN overcome by the power of God. I would encourage you to first turn to God and pray. Ask him for the strength and heart to overcome this addiction. Secondly, turn to others for accountability. Whether it be a church leader, friend, relative, counselor, etc. Thirdly, use Covenant Eyes! Our Screen Accountability will help you to stay accountable to both your online AND offline activity. It’s an incredible tool that has helped so many people in their recovery plan.
Thank you for your honesty. It is commendable—truly! Are you using Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability? If not, I would highly recommend that you start there. I would also encourage you to find a trusted friend or mentor to help keep you accountable. We certainly cannot fight addiction alone, which is why accountability is such a huge part of our work here at Covenant Eyes.
And, pray! Ask God for wisdom and strength to fight off temptation.
Blessings!
Moriah
For anyone under the yoke, never thought you can fight alone. You have to seek help. Discuss with someone you trust and you know he/she have the capacity to help. Until you are delivered, you are not free. Thanks for the post.
First, pray! Ask God to guide you towards freedom. Then, reach out to others for accountability. This can be a friend, relative, church leader, mentor—anyone whom you trust to walk with you and live with integrity. Finally, if you’re not using Covenant Eyes, use it! You and your ally (accountability partner) can even use it together.
Ultimately, cling to Chris as you seek freedom. I am praying for you!
Moriah
Tabby
Hello am tabby I’m really addicted to pornography and this was triggered when I was undergoing a very mild depression after my mum passed away. Am still a teenager i really need help. I will appreciate if I find a friend who can help me though this struggle. I really need counseling.
Thank you for reaching out! I commend you for your honesty and desire to change. If you are struggling to find a friend to help you through this struggle, I want to encourage you to start with prayer! Ask God for wisdom and strength to help you walk the road of recovery, whether it’s on your own or with a friend. If you are able, counseling is also an excellent next step, in addition to using Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability.
Hi i am miracle, am really struggling with porn addiction.i first started watching porn since 2011 and through all those while i haven’t looked back. the more i tried to persuade myself to quit it and stay farther away from it,the most it seems very complicating for me to overcome it.i have tried all in my effort and even prayed and begged God.please i really need your help on this because it been acfecting my mind, not to concentrate and also forget things easily at work and at home.
Please be encouraged to know that you are not alone in this. Overcoming addiction is not easy for anyone. Keep clinging to God for strength and hope. I also want to encourage you to reach out to a friend, leader, or mentor who can walk alongside you in this and pray for you! On our own, overcoming sin is incredibly difficult, so it is important to have an ally.
I am praying for you! Keep fighting, friend.
Blessings,
Moriah
Bright
Hello
I am a girl and in my early twenties
I just discovered this article today
The truth is, I have been addicted to porn for about 7 years now, and for these 7 years I’ve been trying to quit watching porn but i have been unable to stop……i have really cried to God countless number of times to forgive me
I even doubt if God can ever forgive…….I feel like I’ve exceeded my limit, i feel like I have taken his mercy for granted…..i always feel terrible anytime I watch it but i can’t control that urge anytime it comes……..I feel like I am really far from my lord.
Anytime I go to church or even pray i feel like I am not worthy to do so, it looks like I have lost that chance
I really feel guilty. Anytime i want to talk to someone about it i feel they are not trustworthy, like they are going to mock me
I am fed up i don’t know what to do anymore.
But this time around i really want to quit
1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Note that it does not say that there is a limit to God’s forgiveness! We are all sinners, and we will need God’s forgiveness until we take our last breath someday. So, you want to quit porn. Keep praying and asking God for the strength to turn from porn and rely on God as your ultimate source of joy and satisfaction.
I would also encourage you to talk to someone about your struggles! We all sin; do not feel ashamed to step forward and ask for someone to walk alongside you and pray for you.
I am praying for you!
Blessings,
Moriah
Laura
I totally understand your pain 😭😭 but so far im doing good I stop like 2 weeks and it’s be working really I’m a girl too btw
Two weeks is amazing! Overcoming addiction is not easy, and I am so encouraged to hear that you have been free for 2 weeks! Keep fighting!
Blessings,
Moriah
Eghe
Hey
Am a guy I just turned 17
And am addicted to pornography
WOW CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST SAID THAT
but to be honest am sick and tired of it I want to stop but don’t know how to. I just woke up God has countlessly showed me his love. I just can’t keep betraying him. PLEASE I NEED HELP AND GUIDANCE.
the addiction is over 6 years and am sick of it PLEASE HELP
Praise God that you desire to be free from this addiction! For many, admitting to this struggle seems impossible, but you have done just that! I commend you.
Do you have a close friend, mentor, or church leader whom you can reach out to and ask for prayer and accountability? Overcoming any addiction is incredibly difficult to do on your own. But, having an ally to check in on you daily and ask how you are doing (and, pray for you!) makes a huge difference. You can also use Screen Accountability with them, which will hold you accountable do what you do online.
I would also encourage you to look into recovery groups! Check out Pure Desire for current groups that you can join online. Above all, be fervent in prayer and Scripture! Cling to God in times of weakness and strength! You CAN overcome this.
Praying for you!
Moriah
E.E.E.
I also have this problem of quiting, only to return it. Any help? Please, i’m afraid of the effect. I’m in need of new options.
Thank you for reaching out and asking for help. Are you using Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability? If not, I highly recommend that you find an ally (a trusted friend) who can use this software with you and hold you accountable.
I would also encourage you to look into joining an online recovery group! Pure Desire has some great options. Ultimately, cling to God as you seek recovery. He is the Master Healer, and in him we find ultimate freedom!
Blessings,
Moriah
Tina
Hi,
after reading the comments I feel determined to stop. I started masturbating at the young age of 12 and watching porn at 17 . I wasn’t serious on quitting and didn’t know it was an addiction until I tried to stop. Am 22 now and still struggling. I have tried to stop several times can go weeks and even months without watching porn but then the urge become so strong I eventually give in. I have also tried installing an anti porn app and praying about it and for a while I find the strength to overcome it but not for long. I seriously need help, this addiction makes me depressed and is affecting my goals and my relationship with God. I feel so ashamed to talk about it with someone, and afraid of being judged. Any advice or suggestions on how to defeat this add would be extremely helpful , God bless you .
Thank you for your honesty! Expressing your desire to be free is the first step towards recovery! I know that it can be scary to talk about your addiction with someone else, but doing so will lift a huge weight off of your shoulders! Do you have a close friend or mentor whom you can talk to?
Remember, you are not alone in this. Addictions can make us feel like we are the only ones struggling, but in reality, that could not be farther from the truth. We all struggle with sin, and we need to have that human accountability. If you do decide to talk to someone about this, I would encourage you to read this article first!
Am so young but am now siriously addicted to sex but please if you are in the same problem this is what you have to do pick up a photo of the almighty God. look at the picture for a moment and say I belong to Jesus but not porns do it every time you feel to watch it after off your phone and try to watch something funny. I was in the same problem but now am free because of God pls do it not for your self but the almighty thank you for trying/doing it
hey
Have been watch porn for like 10 years, and it really killing me slowing, I tried so many time, read many books just stop masturbeting and stop doing those act, it becomes harder for me everyday, I can’t stay in one week without watching porn,
I becomes frustrated and depress after the act, I becomes guilty of everything. I believe God almighty can deliver me, my faith is weak now, I release that I can’t stop this dimonish act on my own. Plz pray for me.
Hi there,
We are alwayshappy to pray for anyone who needs it!
I feel like it’s important to tell you that you are not alone. Your struggle is felt by many, many others, and you can overcome this! The first step is always admitting that there is an issue. We have a TON of resources to help you through this process, and judging by what you have told us, I think this might be a great place for you to start.
Good luck on your journey. We are rooting (and praying) for you!
Samantha
CoolGospel
To be able to quit porn you need to replace it with something, maybe pray, sing or exercise.
But the ultimate is the Holy Spirit, he can help you quit porn.
I hope and pray I can keep this up: 23 months porn free and 11 months masturbation free but I get worried I’ll go back cause I love acting out and did it for 53 yrs. I know it’s Jesus that does it for me , but worried my flesh will take over. Just saying. Good luck and love you everybody else, masturbation is THE toughest addiction I’ve ever faced.
I have read the bad effects of porn , I have read what the pain of porn stars , I have tried my best, I have promised God so many times but …but I can’t stop.
Somebody help me please , I can’t take it anymore …I hate it , I hate myself , I fucking hate it … I really can’t take it anymore.
I am hurting people , I am hurting myself , I told my friends but they aren’t encouraging me to stop …. I don’t know what to do ..
I am sure God hates me so much by now … I am bisexual , I masturbate and even love porn now? I am disgusting…
Just help me somebody please help me … I don’t know what to do … please please help me .
I suspect that the shame you’re experiencing around your sexuality and your expression of your sexuality has taken on a life of its own at this point. The porn is probably really not the issue. It’s the shame. I know for sure that God does not hate you, and I know for sure that God does not want you to hate yourself. God doesn’t hate you if you masturbate, God doesn’t hate you if you look at porn. God doesn’t hate you if your bisexual or gay. That’s the whole point of unconditional love: it’s unconditional! Our shame is what tells us that we’re unloveable. And so shame is the thing I would focus on. I think you’d do well to find a therapist who can help you process what this shame is all about. (Be sure to choose a therapist who is LGBTQ affirming, who will not shame you for being bisexual, but will affirm your worth as a person, including your sexual orientation.) I think once you aren’t feeling so horrible about yourself, you’ll find that the compulsive need to do things you feel ashamed of–that will diminish. Meet the underlying need, and you won’t need the surface behaviors.
Cool Post today’s must needed content in this article. The blog clearly describes bad effects of watching porn in mobile and other devices. it is the worldwide problem. There are many apps to avoid watching porn like mobicip.
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I’ve been into pornography and masturbation for 10yrs now. Honestly I wnt to quit it but I always find myself going back to it. Whenever I have access to d internet and I’m alone I must visit and download so many porn videos. It’s affecting my academics and spiritual life. What do I do pls?
Hi Ekelwe. There are many steps to take to overcome this habit, but it is possible by the power of God. I recommend you read through our free e-book Your Brain on Porn and then ask me if you have any questions about what to do next.
think of your future with porn and without it. you will find its not even .01 % worth of future. find your dream set traget and then shoot with full efficiency.
I am also a person who likes pornography… i also do it when i get frustrated of many bad events that happen in my life.. i am just 15 now and i think that you and i both should make a good friend who understands us a lot and help us to get out of it..
Hi Ekekwe , I have the same problem as you. Let’s be friends and help each other . Do you use Twitter ?
I am 15 years old I started this habit of porn and masturbation. I have also lost faith on me so we both can come out of this together if we become friends.
Ekekwe, U said it yourself -alone-, U need to find someone u can trust to help U whenever U’re alone and gonna watch it they come and lift U off Whatever u’re using to watch these things on
quitting porn is not easy but i can help .e mail me on tonitobato@ gmail.com
once i stop in 2 week again i getnet
Hey, this happens a lot. Up and down, sometimes you are doing great but other times, its not that great. I’m not the best person to say this but, the only way that you will efficiently quit pornography is by having a relationship with Jesus. We can’t do this stuff on our own. When we have a true relationship with Jesus these desires will come but with Jesus we can fight temptation. Remember Josheph (Genesis), the wife of a ruler wanted to sleep with Joseph. What did Joseph do? He RAN AWAY. Sometimes we just can’t fight temptation with verses, we need to escape these sinful pleasures.
I know its hard, i still struggle.
Please get rid of your internet connection at home. Use the internet at a public library. It’s the only way to stop porn from destroying your life. I know, I am speaking from experience. God bless you. Ian.
That’s exactly what is happening to me. Wish I have never started this. :-(
You need to have the desire to want to quit and pray always for God’s divine intervention.God is able!
Hey, I’m Sri , I am addicted to porn and i want to protect myself, i think i run after porn because of my loneliness, is there anyway you can help? and there is also this problem: a take a firm resolve to not to look at porn after looking at when i feel restless and i go in for help from God, but the very next day , i fall into the trap again, so please someone give me advice, i’m just 17 and this porn addiction affects my academics a lot.
Hello Sri, have you tried to apply any of the 6 steps that Dr. Weiss mentions in his blog post? Have you cleared house of the opportunities? It’s true that anything we try to fight ALWAYS fights us back, which is maybe why you struggle the very next day. Evil loves to make a fool of our promises to “never” do something again. But, God’s grace is fresh EVERY morning. If you truly want to quit, then it might involve some drastic measures, but it all depends on whether or not you really want to quit, which I hope you do. God is FOR you, and if that’s true, then who can be against you? (Romans 8:31).
-Chris
Covenant Eyes
I am 17. Live in Nigeria. And I have a big porn/masturbation problem. When I’m at school, I try to be close to God. But when I visit my parents, it seems like something comes over me. All I can think of is porn. Finally, I succumb get some porn and then masturbate. When I go back to school, I repent and clean up my act only for the cycle to repeat itself whenever I visit my parents again. Right now, I’m feeling very guilty and depressed. I just finished masturbating. Sometimes I wonder if I can ever break free of this 3 year old addiction
Hello Eyes only – have you tried any of the 6 Essential Steps listed in the blog post? What is it about visiting your parents that acts as a trigger? Yes, you can break free. Through the power of Christ, ALL things are possible and He breaks every chain. But, we must surrender constantly to His authority. Here’s good news – God’s grace is fresh EVERY morning. God is FOR you. Which of the 6 steps will you take right now?
-Chris
Covenant Eyes
I would say looking at the current patterns of thinking and habits. Looking at these can help you see where sin has blinded you and kept you going deeper into destructive situations and habits.
Ekekwe……… to get something u want you must sacrifice something to get what you really want ………. all you have to do is sacrifice and get rid of your internet for like 1 or 2 months trust me u will never watch porn ………thats the only way out …….during those times that you do not have internet try to feed your brain with another healthy habit and finally pray and your bible always….cry to lord jesus to come to your aid. peace be with you
If you really want to stop it Islam has given solution ,if you cant controll . marry as early as possible ,if it is not possible then fast , today world need teaching of Islam ,plz read more about Islam don’t trust media which shows wrong about Islam may Allah protect us from this evil act ,and respect women they are not made for sexual purpose
Hi Ekekwe, I know this is quite a bit after you posted this, and I hope you have been able to quit porn for good.
I just wanted to chime in and say that even if you haven’t keep trying. The only way you can succeed is to keep trying. You have to want to quit, really want to quit.
It’s not easy, and it will suck for months, but then life will be so much better. Good luck.
Ben
To all who hopefully still do this…
I need SERIOUS help!!! I’ve dug a HUGE hole for myself with this masturbation problems and pornography addictions. It’s affecting my concentration and, most importantly, my spiritual life. I’d Is anyone there, for the love of God?
Hello Isaiah – I’m sorry you’re struggling so much. You have to really want to quit – this is not an easy battle. Have you tried the steps in the post? God is for you, and is with you, but I find that He works powerfully through our steps – our “grace-driven” efforts to seek Him fully. Peace, Chris
Good luck to everyone. I certanly need some myself. Even though I have watched porn for only half a year its still dang hard to quit. Any suddgetions?
Hello DL – yes, very hard to quit, and it gets more difficult to quit the longer you stick with it. Did you read the blog post? What did you think of what it said?
playing a lot of videogames helped me and got me yo quit u need yo find a hoby that u really like ti distract your mind
Put it in a list of good habits it leave it by itself
I’m 15 years old! And since two years I’ve been watching porn and masturbating! I really wanna leave it! But I couldn’t! I dont know how to leave that habit! Because of this my studies , my relationship with Jesus , my singing skills are getting affected! ???
Hello, Eunice – on one hand, my heart breaks for your situation. Addiction just takes the life and motivation right out of us. Did you know there’s a term for it? It’s called “brain fog,” and I also remember it during times of struggle (which is probably why your singing skills are being impacted). But, on the other hand, you’ve admitted the issue, and that’s a great step! Now, comes the hard work – are you ready? When you look at the blog post you commented on, pay close attention to each item Dr. Weis mentions, especially #2 – “get brutally honest with someone.” Can you do that? He also lays out other steps you can take, which when they work together, they form a powerful front against addiction. But, you have to get #2 right. Can you do that? I truly hope you can.
Eunice, God is for you! Anything is possible at the cross of Jesus Christ. Read Romans 8 to be reminded of who you are in Christ :)
Peace, Chris
The best thing to quit your self on that is to read your bible, go to church who teach about Christ, Gospel and salvation and do good. Satan can do everything he wants just to ruin your lives by watching those bad stuffs but if you have relationship with Jesus Christ you will think 100x before you do that. God can change lives if you are willing to submit your self to Him. God can change you permanently.
Even if I tried many times to remove my self from pornography but I could not overcome porn ,I started watching porn vedio five years ago then I become most visitor of pornography sites then every day I do sex with my hand and then masturbat now I am addicted on porn .please show me some way to remove my self from that world
Hello, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling in this way. It is not easy to break free but it is possible. Here is a blog post that explains 3 strategies for breaking free: https://www.covenanteyes.com/2010/05/13/3-biblical-strategies-for-fighting-lust/
Peace, Chris
Hi, my case is really terrible… I’m a girl, I’m not supposed to be into all this… I try reading books online, and the next thing is that I see myself opening a porn wedsite. I don’t understand why it’s always like that, I’m spending a lot on it and it’s getting really annoying please pray for me.
Hi, Florence, I’m proud of you for having the guts to admit that you’re struggling. Now, the next step is to close the doors to the porn. In the blog here, there are steps to take, but you have to take them! It’s not some magic spell. You have to actually take the steps. And, if you do, they often work. Can you do that? Get rid of the phone? Get a sponsor or friend to talk to? Prayer alone will not be enough. It’s necessary, but not enough.
Peace, Chris
I’m 31 yrs old and struggling with porn, I need help, I’ve been doing so great without porn for months now, but I was talking to someone I like yesterday and I guess that triggered these feelings, what can I do, how many times can I repent before God leaves my side.. I’m so scared I will ruin my salvation.. I need someone to talk to that won’t judge me..I feel so disgusting of myself..😰
Hello, Dee – I’m sorry that you’re still struggling. What have you tried? Do you believe you can quit? If you don’t believe it’s possible, then it won’t happen. Do you believe that the Cross of Christ that you gave you life to can break even your sin? Or, do you believe that it only works for everyone else’s sin? These are the big questions that you need to ask while getting alone so God can look you in the eye and lovingly answer. No judgment. He’s not mad at you. I think God is mad at porn and what it’s doing to His precious child. That’s you. Would you read one more thing? Here: https://www.covenanteyes.com/2012/04/23/how-to-quit-porn-6-essential-steps/
Peace, Chris
I’m 31 yrs old and struggling with porn, I need help, I’ve been doing so great without porn for months now, but I was talking to someone I like yesterday and I guess that triggered these feelings, what can I do, how many times can I repent before God leaves my side.. I’m so scared I will ruin my salvation.. I need someone to talk to that won’t judge me..I feel so disgusting of myself..😰
Hello, Diana – what have you tried? When you read the 6 essential steps, which part are you struggling with? We believe that these steps if carried out consistently can bring redemption. Alone, you will continue to struggle, mightily. Find a team of help.
Peace, Chris
Go to God in prayers..
Hi this is Daniel I have been watching porn since I was 13 and now I am 19. I realize that it has affected me in so many ways, pls I need help and support cos I feel embarrassed to say it to anyone else that I do watch porn and masturbate at such an age. Please Help me overcome this
Hi, Daniel – being open is good. Nice job. Now, I’m going to ask your permission to be direct. It sounds like you can handle it.
You CAN’T beat this. Not in the way you’re currently trying. Not alone. Not keeping it to yourself. The enemy is stronger than your individual efforts.
It sounds like you want to do the right thing. So, here’s the issue – the choice is yours. No one can stop you from looking at porn. NO ONE! If you’re a Christian teenager, then it’s time to start believing that you’re a child of God and start acting like it. I’m being very direct – I think we tend to take a too gentle approach with guys and watching porn. NO! We were made for more. It’s time to be men. It’s time to love and respect the women around us AND on our screens. Even if they don’t respect themselves, WE have to decide to choose respect for them. This is on us. No more excuses. More than conquerors! Read Romans 8, all of it, to see what you were created to be. A warrior. Fearless. Of God. Untouchable. Unshakable. Settle for nothing less! Is your phone the issue? Then get rid of it. Do you struggle at night? Then no internet after 9pm. Do you masturbate? Then go (with parent permission!!!) get a tattoo of scripture put on your wrist. I guarantee you’ll quit :) How badly do you want this? You have to want it. You have to want freedom INSIDE and do things that prove you want it on the OUTSIDE.
I have faith in you. God is rooting for you! And, I am, too.
Peace, Chris
Here is the approach that I adopted.
1. I remove all porn on my PC using a software called Content Cleaner from:
http://www.contentpurity.com/
2. I installed CovenantEyes to block access to porn.
This is a good start.
I am only thirteen years of age. I remember being on the computer and a screen just popped up in my face. I was fascinated and lost in this world where no one cared about hiding their private parts. For so long I have tried, tried and tried, however, this urge comes and overcomes me. I hope I can stop this as it leaves me depressed and makes me feel worthless. When ever I wake up I feel like a pile of bricks and I can’t get up because of how I feel. It destroys me emotionally every time I watch this sinful thing. I pray and hope to God that I can overcome this urge. I am inspired by your comments and I hope I can and will stop watching porn.
Thank you,
Thank you so very much for your essential help. What I found most important was being brutally honest to the other. I am sure I have the right zeals to get me going more firmly, and besides I must stop the negative vibes from entering into my brain as I have responsibilities to the others around me.
Hello im 30 years old and I’m in a committed relationship with the love of my life, I have had a porn, lust, and sex addiction since I was around 13 years old. I struggle on a daily basis with looking up porn on my phone or looking for other women just to talk sexual with. It is ruining my relationship and I see my girlfriend hurt daily from my addiction. I want this all to just go away! I don’t want the feeling that I need or want to do these things ever again in my life. I’ve tried to just stop cold turkey but it never works I go right back to it the next day, she doesn’t understand how it’s an addiction and how I can’t just stop doing it thats why I’m reaching out for help. What can I do? It’s ruining my whole life
Christopher, I’m sorry that you’re struggling. The blog post gives some very practical steps – actions you need to take in order to achieve the outcome that you desire. You can’t pray it away. Pray can fuel your actions, but grace-driven effort is needed. If you struggle daily, then get a dumbphone. If you struggle daily, then have a daily morning phone call with a trusted mentor or friend to start the day with prayer and God’s mercy. It’s a question of what you’re willing to do! Cold turkey doesn’t work. Replacement does. The reward system you’ve created in your brain needs to be fed with other activities. From talking to counselors, those who are successful in breaking free from addiction have a few things in common: 1. Social Support (group of men) 2. Finding Spirituality 3. Find Meaning/Purpose 4. 12-Step Affiliation (mentoring/accountability/CE) 5. Improve Quality of Life (exercise, sleep, eating). It’s up to you!
Chris
You’ve got to pray earnestly for God to help you and try telling a spiritual head for counselling. Always have it at the back of your mind that watching it affects will affect your destiny. Most importantly, pray and fast.
Hi what I did was get rid of my internet on phone bought a really old Nokia and had no access if you have it you use it
well i am facing it as well but to really quit it you have to be fed up and tired of seeing it. Then you should get rud of all the porn things and speak to someone who you trust and who is willing to help you.
Engage yourself into other activities like playing games . Or addict your self to other things like technology sport etc
Hi,
I’m Julia, and I’ve struggled with a porn addiction since I was 12 (I know, 12 years old!) And after doing horrible things to my body, I find I cannot quit this pattern. I always can stop for months on end, but then I just start again. I’m afraid for my family and who I’ll be in my future. I’m afraid for my relationship with God and my future friends. Now I am beginning to see and imagine people as if they were in a porn video. I see porn everywhere, and I’m terrified. I will try to follow these steps as best as I can, but I’m afraid that if I tell anyone, no matter how much I trust them, I’m scared they won’t want to be friends with me, or my parents might disown me. The rest of these rules I will follow to the best of my abilities. Is there anything else I could possibly do to stop?
Hi Julia,
I suspect that at this point, the fear and shame that you feel are a huge factor in activating the cycle. The more fear and shame that you feel, the more you need something to distract you and make you feel better for a while, and porn works perfectly in that moment. Here are some things I think you could do.
1. Work on accepting that God loves you perfectly and completely in every moment, because God does. This is the greatest truth of our lives, and if we can connect to this reality and live into it, our need for dysfunctional behaviors will fall away.
2. Find people who will love you like God does, who will accept you completely without shaming or harming you, no matter what. This means being vulnerable with others, which is hard! But when we find those safe people, it’s increadibly rewarding.
3. Here’s a short animation on the shame-addiction cycle, and some ideas for interrupting it.
4. Your sexuality is normal and healthy. It’s normal to feel sexual arousal. It’s normal to masturbate. You are not broken, you have not harmed yourself irreparably. Trust in love, and interrupt the shame cycle, and see where you grow.
I hope these things help. Let us know how you’re doing,
Kay
Jess makes sure u pray regular and also have it in mind whenever u feel like watching porn switched off your internet connections becus its not easy stoping but when u started having it in mind dat u wont comes to that again makes sure u stands on it watching porns affected many its not a good behaviour pray everyday and believe it wont happen again
Hi my name is Von,I’m 12’years old.I startedwatching porn a few months ago,and I’m not betting better.I don’t have a religion so I don’t know what to do.I tried to delete all of my resources but it’s not helping.If I tell anyone about this I’m sure I will get shunned by my family and friends.At this point I have no other ideas.I will try to stop this addiction by following these steps.Lord knows why I started this world of hell
Hey there.
I’m so sorry this has happened to you.
I know you said you don’t have a religion, but it sure sounds like you’ve got the kind of shame around sexuality that we often see from religious traditions. I’m sorry about that. I think it’s really important to understand that your sexuality is a normal part of yourself. Of course you will feel arousal, of course you will explore that. However, with anything that’s normal and healthy–food, sex, exercise–we can over-use those things that feel good, right? So we simply want to be healthy in the way that we enjoy the good gifts of life.
I think shame very quickly becomes a huge driver of over-using behaviors. Here’s a short animation on interrupting shame cycles which you might find helpful.
I hope that you do have safe people in your life that you might be able to talk with? Perhaps a school counselor?
Peace to you,
Kay
I started watching pornography videos when my mom went into a nursing home because she was so sick that the doctors couldn’t take care of her. So finally I talked to my pastor from my church and told me that it’s hard on the budget to buy and then throw so I threw them out for good. Then all of the sudden I started watching it on my phone so I talked to my female friend about it and I asked her if she could keep it between me and her. But as far as I go now,it’s gonna be a brand new day for me starting in the morning.
Exactly! I am 29 years old and find myself watching porn. I know it’s wrong but i cant stop. Should I get help?
If you want help, get it!
Thank you sir, hope it’ll work.
I am sick of it. Im trying to stop watching all adults scenes but unfortunately i do it repeatedly .
This is all lies. There is no such thing as porn or masturbatory addiction. Get okAY with touching yourself, and you will calm down. Don’t listen to organized religion’s take on masturbation. THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT DOCTORS.
Good afternoon Sir, just saw this article on how to quit porn. I somehow got addicted to porn in 2011. Its been a besetting sin in my life. In my own case, I may have an immoral dream and wake up with the urge to masturbate and I find myself unable to resist the urge and then I bam! I’m viewing porn.
I was a little girl when I got introduced to lesbianism by a neighbour’s daughter and our house help and I’ve been struggling with this ever since. Whenever I view porn, it’s only lesbian porn. I am tired of riding and falling in my spiritual life. I’ve rededicated my life back to CHRIST. I’m currently fasting and in three nights in a row I’ve had immoral dreams. I woke up not having the urge to masturbate but I want to live completely free of this chain of addiction.
I checked out the porn blocker site but realized that I need to pay to subscribe. In the part of the world where I live in, I don’t have access to credit cards and stuff like that. I’m trusting God to break those chains off me before this month is over so I can live a victorious Christian life. I’ll appreciate any suggestions. Many thanks, God bless you.
Hi, Kate – you’re courageous for posting. That’s a great step. I think there are plenty of things you can do without paying for a service. Make a clear plan for “what do I do when I wake up from an immoral dream” and stick to it. Do you have accountability in your life? Someone you can text that moment you wake up after an immoral dream, and say, “I just had a dream! I need to tell someone!” Have you ever read anything by Neil Anderson about breaking soul chains? He speaks specifically about some of the spiritual bondage that you might be experiencing in these dreams. I hope something there might help! Blessings, hope, and peace to you.
Chris
I realised a long time ago that pire will and brain power isn’t gonna get me anywhere! I accepted Jesus Christ into my life 10 years ago, asking for his guidance and forgivness. Over time I had strayed from God and thats how I found myself with a porn addiction. I tried to get rid alone over a 2 years and completely failed! This is until I realised I was being controlled by a demon, that could only be casted off in the name of Jesus. That night, I said: “Lord, when I accepted you into my life, you gave me the power to use Jesus’ name, so I command that spirits of sexual immorality to cease there grip from me, and to crawl back to the pits of hell in the name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and saviour!!!”. Since then, I have not watched a single porn video, I have not wanted to masturbate, and my mind has been cleared of all of these sinful desires. So trust me when I say, even if you do quit porn usage, without Jesus, that spirit will still be inside you!
I have a problem with the devil feeding me images. I don’t look at porn . help! God says its an open door . I prayed in tongues but the door remains open. Help
Honestly, there is nothing you can do. You have to find it in yourself to stop watching adult films. Covenant eyes will only be there as long as you pay for it. What if you get the itch to watch porn again, what do you do then? Stop paying for it and boom, you have to start all over again. You don’t need some fancy internet filtering to quit watching porn. All you need is the will to quit. I know that sounds corny, but it’s the truth.
I need to get out of this pit of porn and the latter just isn’t long enough. I can’t get out. I have the same feelings. This is horrible.
indulge in other works like do some exercise to deviate your mind
Hi I have the same problem, I am only 16 and I have been looking at porn since I was 13, take one good look at porn and think about how disgusting it is, think about how uncomfortable the video is, imagine you being the guy/girl and that video being sent to everyone you know, that is all I have to say.
Hi I have the same problem but I quitted it for some months maybe 6 then again got back to the addiction I want to be free of pornography addiction as I cannot dehumanize women and be a crock I want to quit and I’ll quit from now onwards I promise my life and I’ll help the similar addicts tooo
Hey! your brain has been enslaved by pron. You should try to hangout with friends enjoy nature and whenever sexual thoughts arrives in your brain do some physical activities maybe like playing football ,jumpropes , pushups or go for a walk . I highly recommend you to change your dns which is free from porn websites. Try to be more socialize learn new skills and do not remain free. It’s you who can control the addiction so , implement these ideas and move forward life is awesome rule your brain otherwise, it will rule on you
I got it, now tell me how to deal with my “needs” when my wife hits menopause and says ” I’ve talked to some friends and I might get my sex drive back in a few years” Tell me how to deal with that.
I am 17 and whenever I find myself alone at home I start watching pron I really want to quit but I am just unable to coz the more far I am willing to go from it the more closer it pulls me back and I don’t even realize that am watching pron I just keep enjoying one by one one by one and at the end I feel ashamed of my self and feel like killing myself it’s really affecting my academics as well as spritual to be e life I want to be closer to God but I can’t go in front of him with this dirty here I and for forgiveness every time but how log can he really forgive me I really need to get this pron this hell out of my life
Hi, you are never outside of God’s grace. It never ends. Runs out. Your individual sin is not greater than the cross. I start with these things because the enemy is a master of lies and he’s using them against you. That’s the Truth/Spirit side of things. On the flesh/world side of things, whatever you’re watching porn on when you’re alone has got to go. You can’t handle it – especially not alone. Don’t believe the lie that you can (trust me, I’ve believed that lie too many times). I don’t think there’s any more than just a very, very small group of men who can break free without deeply honest conversation and drastic actions (like removing devices and access). So, the choice is yours! I can’t force you to quit. It’s up to you.
May God give you grace. May grace fuel your efforts. And, may your efforts succeed.
Chris
I want to quit watching porn please help.
i think both of us are facing the same problem because i tried to quit but it seems impossible
You neet take suggestions from your good friends and concentrate on different things when rise bad think in your mind .Dont think, dont alone when you feel guilty, try it may help you.
I really need a friend to where I come from I’ll just get shunned behind doors if I ask someone to help me. I’m on twitter. Send me a dm I jueed help for the first month
Don’t be afraid be quite and Do other things through whatever you can stay away from porn block all the sites too
Regards = Unknown ****
Highly Recommend a Christian Book “Theology of the Body”.
Describes God’s Gift of Sexuality and the Purposeful Design of the Body For Pleasure in a Marital Bond.
It reveals how Porn Perverts the Gift of Sexuality and the Pleasures God Intended Using our Sexual Nature as a Renewal of Marriage Vows.
Hi i have been watching pornography since 6 years i cant stop watch, i want to stop though but everyday i watch porn and i mean everyday never had one without watching porn. i really want to stop but how its repeating like this up till now i need help
Kyle,
Thank you for reaching out on this platform and asking for help! That is no easy thing to do, so I commend you in taking the first step towards recovery!
First, pray! Ask God to give you the strength to keep fighting against porn. Do you have a close friend or mentor whom you can reach out to for help? I have found that when I am struggling with sin (or anything in life!), having an ally to walk alongside me and pray for me makes a huge difference. They can also be a great part of using Covenant Eyes! You will be less tempted to watch porn, if you know that your friend will be notified when you do.
I am praying for you! Do not give up. We serve a mighty God!
Moriah
relieve your mind of that stress of porn related stuff and tell yourself it is not worth it.
Visit Pure Life Ministries’ website at purelifeministries.org.
guys i am also 15 and addicted to porn,the maxim i can stay without watching is 5 days,but on the weekends i dont know what happens,i get a headache than my brain starts craving for porn..actually i hate porn Cuz it is not even real and those r just actors perfoming in a dirty industry..lets form a society and commit ourselves to stop the addiction amd prevent others to become addicted”TOGETHER WE CAN OVERCOME PORN”
I am also want to stop from this way
Hey, I’m Sri , I am addicted to porn and i want to protect myself, i think i run after porn because of my loneliness, is there anyway you can help? and there is also this problem: a take a firm resolve to not to look at porn after looking at when i feel restless and i go in for help from God, but the very next day , i fall into the trap again, so please someone give me advice, i’m just 17 and this porn addiction affects my academics a lot.
Hello Sri, have you tried to apply any of the 6 steps that Dr. Weiss mentions in his blog post? Have you cleared house of the opportunities? It’s true that anything we try to fight ALWAYS fights us back, which is maybe why you struggle the very next day. Evil loves to make a fool of our promises to “never” do something again. But, God’s grace is fresh EVERY morning. If you truly want to quit, then it might involve some drastic measures, but it all depends on whether or not you really want to quit, which I hope you do. God is FOR you, and if that’s true, then who can be against you? (Romans 8:31).
-Chris
Covenant Eyes
I’m always praying but the temptation gets stronger the more I pray
Hi David, I have found it to be exceedingly true that whatever I fight tends to fight me back. Maybe you’re experiencing something similar. When I was experiencing this, having someone I could talk to when I was being “triggered” or tempted was hugely important. James 5:16, “Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective.” I’m not saying that temptation by itself is sinful, but the sheer act of speaking things into the light is powerful to diminish the power of darkness. Have you prayed out loud? There’s something about the spoken word. Yell it out! Cry out to your God. Find that trusted friend. God is for you!
-Peace, Chris
Covenant Eyes
Chris Mckenna;
Its Isaiah. I’ve tried the steps in videos and stuff like that, but the thing is, I’m dealing with a historical problem. If anyone’s wants to contact me and help me out, email me at isaiahserna407@yahoo.com, and I promise I’ll answer back. I hope I hear from people…..
Hi.
I’m Gaynor and I am 18 and female, I don’t know how it played out but I became addicted to porn/ masturbation. I started with just the normal lust at a young age 6 or 7 and it just became worse, I don’t know who to blame because my family is very spiritual and strong Christians, but when I told them once they thought I was possesed and that I needed cleansing.
They however did not solve the problem .
Till this day I have not told them because they would judge me and make me feel really bad and since I live with them every day I don’t think it will be easy to just say it again.
I grew up in a God fearing family but yet I have not felt the amazing power that everyone boasts about although I have seen work done from him.
I really want to stop because I feel like I live two separate lives.
There are not a lot of people who help females get over porn addictions and it’s sad because I don’t know any women who have come out, or they are afraid to come out.
I just need help!!! I want that deliverance but how am I going to get it if my own family cannot help me???
Hi there! Well, being possessed is probably not the issue here at all! I think you’re being wise to keep your information private from people who would misunderstand the issue and put into “treatment” that would not be helpful and in fact could be harmful. When you talk about “normal lust at age 6 or 7” I’m not really sure what you mean. I think it’s normal for us to explore our bodies for sure, but being overly sexualized at an early age is sometimes a sign of abuse. I can’t judge at all by what you’ve said here, but I’d really like to see you find a counselor who can help you process through your childhood experiences and help you understand your sexuality in a healthy way. You’re 18, so you’re fully able to find a counselor on your own. You don’t need anybody’s permission!
Counseling can be expensive, so here are some tips. If you are a student, many colleges/universities have free counseling services. If you live near a university that trains counselors, you may be able access affordable services even if you are not a student there. You can always, always ask a counselor if they work on a “sliding scale” which means an income-based fee system. Also, many communities have Family Resource Centers where affordable counseling services are available. Also, most insurance plans do include a certain number of counseling sessions per year.
The truth is that most of us as adults have to look outside our families for help like this. The good news is, though, that help is available!
Peace to you, Kay
Am having the same problem????
Im tired of this life.I want to quit it at all cost.
Hello, Chris – I’m deeply concerned about your comments about suicide – here’s the truth…you have unmeasurable value! Your life is a precious gift and a blessing to this planet. Please find someone you can talk to about your struggles. If you don’t have anyone you can talk to, and you start to have suicidal feelings again, promise me you’ll call this number: 1-800-273-8255.
God is for you! Chris, you can get through this, and it will be hard work, but it’s worth it. Remember the strength you have in Christ – Romans 8 can remind you. The cross of Jesus Christ IS strong enough to overcome everything. Even this.
Peace, Chris
porn has ruined my creativity and my personal relationship with Jesus but thanks be to God because He has used Jesus to set me free from porn. I wish success to everyone struggling to stop it,With God Everything is possible
.
Wow!!Im 14 and i also struggle with this…It’s affecting my life and i want to stop!…Thank you for this Great tips it helps seriously!…God can only help you if your willing to stop…Porn is starting to affect younger generations and children…We must pray so this will get an end…Thank you so much
There’s a couple of things I do to keep my mind off of pornography. 1 I have supper and game night on Wednesday night with a couple of friends and 2 I’ll have bible study once in a while at my place
Hi, guys, my name is Silvester and I have an addiction to porn and masturbation. I just finished highschool and I’ve got all this dreams that I have and I don’t see a future where I’ll be forced to look for porn just to live a happy satisfied life. The truth is I’m 17,living with my mum, who I even don’t want her to know that I have been watching porn and masturbation for close to five years now. She has caught me one time and she almost lost it. It would break my heart if it was to go back there again. Please,HELP ME BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.
Hello, Silvester – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. There might not be a stronger addictive force than sexual addiction. Which means, your own power might not be enough! You might need some kind of community to help you. Is there any other person you can talk to about this struggle? It’s so much easier, like the blog post says, to get honest with another person. What about a forum full of people who understand? Maybe nofap.com with Alexander Rhodes? There are 1,000s of men who will truly understand your struggle. Also, what about your device? What changes are you willing to make in order to close the porn doorways? You DO have some control here, but it will take a collection of specific actions.
Friend, I hope the very best for you. If you believe in the power of God, then keep turning to Him, cry out to Him. He never tires of hearing from his precious sons and daughters. No amount of struggle will ever surprise Him or make Him turn away from you. NOTHING. There’s always hope, Silvester. And, if I can help you in any other way, please let me know.
Warmly,
Chris
Covenant Eyes
Hey jus wanting to quit watching porn is a great step and also working on the contigences tht can bring a relapse…..
If any need a friend to help i am here.
Hi, am 20 years and I have been caught captive by porn and masturbation. The harder I try to quit the more obsessed I become in it. If I could just get someone to share with in Twitter. I just need to to quit it at all costs and life normally just like others. Please DM @MartowhTuggieh
Hi, Martin – it’s well-known in therapy circles that whatever you obsessively try to quit actually becomes the very thing your mind fixates on all the more. You might require therapy to learn how to process your compulsions when they arrive.
I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Also, the blog post here provides some clear steps you can take, and too often, people overlook the first one which is to actually make a clear and effective decision to stop. If you don’t do that, then you won’t get rid of the smartphone or device that you’re using. What are you willing to do? You won’t be able to quit unless you’re willing to “gouge out the eye” or “remove the arm” if that’s the problem. God is for you and so am I!
Regards, Chris
Please someone help me.. it’s been more than 10 years I’m watching porn.. i really do wanna quit watching porn.. and about the masturbation it’s became like always no gap.. please someone help me
Hello, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. What have you tried? The blog post lays out 6 essentials that usually lead to a more pure life. It won’t happen until you really, really, really want to quit. The first step is yours.
Chris
I want to scream, every Advisor is the same! What’s annoying about all these types of advice is that every adviser/ preacher is married!!
You’ve got a wife so it’s fine for u. I and many young single guys wanna hear from someone who’s not married and not planning to get married any time soon. Someone who has attractive girls approaching and flirting with him.
Better yet someone who has a gf but doesn’t have per-marital. To someone who’s married and has a sexual output..ie sex with his wife
Hi Newbie,
I hear you. When I was single, it was annoying to get advice from married men on this topic. I had to learn how to defeat pornography in my singleness, and it was a battle, to be sure.
Don’t despise the advice of married men, however. They were single once too, and they had to learn to fight temptation like any single man should. Instead, when talking to a married mentor about these thing, ask them to speak to you from their experience as a single man. Ask them to relay information that can help you, not just from their married vantage point.
We have a lot of good stuff on our blog for singles, so I hope you find something that can help you.
Hey Newbie, you want some advice?
You’re going to have to set some tough, clear boundaries. What’s more important, looking cool or your purity? I had a porn problem for 12 years. When I was coming out of it, my relationship with my girlfriend had to change. We shifted from a sexual relationship to practicing abstinence until we married over a year later. The only way that could work was if we set boundaries, boundaries such as avoiding being alone in a room with the door shut.
If you’re having difficulty with women, I will also advise you to shift towards focusing on your future wife. Instead of focusing on the girl that’s flirting with you, think if that’s the kind of person you’d want to spend the rest if your life with. Realistically, that’s how you need to view these girls that come up to you. Figure out what you want in your future spouse, if you’re a Christian then look for a Christ-centered woman, etc. Knowing what you’re looking for in a woman, and not settling for anything less, really helps you drown out the riffraff.
Hope this helps.
Hi Newbie,
I know this post is over a year ago, so hopefully you have grown greatly and porn does not have the choke on you as it did, but I wanted to say a couple of things that hopefully can help you. I am a mother, and a wife of a husband who has struggled with this subject. I wanted to add to Christian’s comments below about thinking about your future wife, and the relationship you desire to have with her for the rest of your life. Imagine your marriage as an empty house. You get married, and together decide to decorate it, put your touch, stamp, and style on it. You both together think of creative ideas on how to make the house fit each others needs, function, and be beautiful for yourselves. So together you guys pick the “right” furniture from the store, paint the walls, add the accessories, and so on. Now compare that to porn. By watching it as a single person, you’re filling your mind with how sex should be, you’re already decorating that house and putting items in it that only fit to your taste, your needs, your wants, your fantasies instead of going through the fun, beautiful, and creative process of creating a unique sexual intimacy with your wife…or decorating that house. You’re creating in your mind expectations that your future wife may not be able to or be comfortable with fulfilling, you’re robbing yourself of the pure and creative intimacy that only you two can create that is absolutely unique to you guys. I hope this makes sense and speaks to your heart. Just remember, regardless of what you’ve seen, God can wash away the filth of it, and make your intimacy with your wife unique to guys when porn is out of the picture. Porn is a poisonous thief that has no heart or care for whom it hurts.
Sure. I am married. And I have put my family through pains and trials of having been addicted to porn since the age of 4. 40 years later, I have ruined my marriage and family, having accidentally exposed my kids to porn a number of times and having lost my job a couple of years ago. Now I’m separated from my wife of 20 years and she told me that she is talking about divorce. It took this long for me to get serious about my addiction, and I hope and pray that the young gentlemen commenting on this page can look down the road and see the same things happening in their lives if they don’t find God’s true path for life NOW. Don’t ruin your life and others’ lives before you finally realize that it’s just not worth it.
I hear ya. How to be porn free sounds easier with a wife but really it’s no different. You think the same thing I thought if I ws married then I can have sex with my wife and this no poem problem.
Wrong.
100% wrong. It is worse.
Now I get mad at my wife or she is tired or she is busy etc but the ladies on the smartphone are always hit and horny. And free.
Now I see her as fat or not good on bed or undesirable because those porn girls are perfect. If I want one body type one day then some other fetish the next I just type it in and find scores of free videos at my fingertips.
So now it is just as hard to fight the xxx battle. But…
The stakes are higher. My wife wants to have sex with me and often I cannot perform. What?! You say that’s crazy. But it is because my mind sees those porn girls as being more attractive then my flesh and blood wife. My mind picks out every fault she has. Too this not enough that can’t do this and not good at that. Comparing her, a real human , to a trained actress on a xxx film getting paid to pretend and keep her body perfect, msybe even fake.
Porn causes me to lose track often at work and at home, go yo bed later than my wife and hate myself. I am a hypocrite. My litle girl scares me knowing she will grow up to be a woman that some one will look at and lust after the way I look at women, as objects of pleasure or fat ugly plain etc. ‘Shes got a nice’ this or that ‘she needs a little blah blah’ Men who have lust and xxx problems turn women into objects not people. Like looking at used cars or livestock for sale.
Plead don’t continue down thd porn rd. turn back now. Purify your heart and mind. Don’t think marriage will make it easier. Above all DONT MARRY IF YOU HAVE A XXX PROBLEM.
Hey there,am Joachim and am single.Guess you are satisfied now.Porn usage is evil and very demonic.Consuming porn is like exposing one’s body and soul to house demons.This has no good end as in the case of Sothom & Gomora.How to quit? First of all,the desire to want to quit porn usage should be instilled in you
You then need to pray fervently and ceaselessly for God’a divine intervention.
it’s okay email me… let’s talk about this.. let’s try to find a way. I’m not married, young 21 of age. my humble request.
Porn is everywere… You basically have to close your eyes to not be tempted
.. This is hard… I don’t want to go to hell for watching t.v. are trying to stand and constantly falling for porn… I love God and his word but it is very hard
Newbie;
I feel the same. I know and understand everything on what you’re going through, and I’m going through some similar stuff.
*THE SIN OF PONOGRAPH**
Porn was not made for entertainment or fun it
was made purposely to destroy both the actors
and their viewers. It feeds man with lust and
makes him hungry for more. That is what result
in masturbation and all abominable sexual act.
Ignorant men love to watch it for fun not
knowing that they are inviting demons of lust to
themselves. It is a great doorway for demonic
entrance. They don’t need to have spare keys to
be in your room. They only need you to watch
their product and they will come in through the
walls!. If you sit down alone to watch
something on the TV please have it in mind that
you are not alone.
There are evil beings looking out for your
weaknesses to attack you. When demons get to
know that you are weak in a particular area,
they will make it difficult for you to overcome
it. You will understand why people keep on
falling back into the same sin over and over
again!
The good news is, you can can still win and
overcome! in Jesus. Through discipline, prayer
and fasting. Otherwise, those demons will put
stumbling blocks in your paths to trap you so
we can’t afford to be careless friends. Too many
men are hooked to porn and are struggling to
overcome it after seeing the damaging side of it.
Even some pastors fall into it. We should know
that the actors are being used by demons to go
to that extreme to degrade their bodies. Married
men who get addicted to porn find it difficult to
sleep with their own wives, young men who are
not married will also masturbate.
Porn is very addictive, it is easy to watch but
hard to walk away from. They have labelled it
as “adult channel” it isn’t so it is abominable
channel!! A colleague of mine told me years
back that it is alright to watch porn with your
spouse if you are married, that was a lie! I disagreed with him. I wasn’t as ignorant as he was. If Jesus
wouldn’t watch why should we? knowing that
we are His bride and His temple.
People who watch porn end up having strong
irresistible sexual urges, because they have
invited the demon of lust to live in them. Once
the spirit brings up the desire you can’t stand the
pressure but do it with whoever you get,
whether your close relative, a child or even animal . This has
ended many into prison.
The rate at which sex offenders are increasing is
alarming in our society. Friends, close your eyes
from watching obscene pictures before it
destroys you. Some people have the nerves to
post porns on Christian sites on Facebook!!
Please delete or block such people straight
away! They are sending people to hell!. A man
who was addicted to porn confessed that his
whole life was destroyed by it. It distorted his
image on how he viewed women. He saw
women as nothing more than mere “sex
tools”
Romans 6:13
“Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead and your members of righteousness unto God”
What will help one to overcome this sin is the holy fear of God in a man, knowing that it will
be a shame to set your eyes on vulgar images
when the Lord is seated next to you. Porn is deadly, destroy it before it destroys you. Keep yourself pure!!!
I’m just 16 and i’m totally crippled with vulgar thoughts. I love a girl, but i don’t want lust to get into my love. I’ve been recently addicted to pornography. I have my dream to be fulfilled. But this addiction isn’t leaving me. Through this i may lose my family members, my love, my dream and even myself. So please i need your help to get my mind out of these things………
Hi, Franca, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. If you’re a Christian, I’d encourage you to read where the Bible talks about pure and controlled thoughts. Philippians. 2 Corinthians. Taking them captive. Then, look back at the list of 6 things in the blog post and see where you need to close a door to porn or try something different. If you truly do the things the blog post suggests, then you can live porn-free.
Best, Chris
Hi. I am a girl and I’ve been watching porn since I was twelve. I don’t know how to stop and I’m too scared to get an accountability partner because I feel like I will be judged. How do I go about this?
For those who want to quit watching porn, it will not be easy to do so, but it can be done. No one can help you stop watching porn. Not the covenant eye, not your counselor, not even your loved ones.w Only you can stop yourself from watching porn. It will take some time. You will have your fails, but that should never stop yourself from continuing to move forward. When you fall down, pick yourself up and dust yourself off, your fine. Keep moving! To be honest, I just got done watching so pornography, and had a little fun. Am I going to hate myself for it, sure. There is nothing wrong with that, but the fact is I know that it isn’t over. I’m 21 years old and I know that I could break this. I refuse to give up. Now seeing so many people with this problem, I will quit watching porn and engaging in self pleasure. I promise or my life depends on it. To all of those who are willing to fight, your not alone.
hi,
Im a girl and have been an addict as long as i can remember. God is my everything and many times i have turned to Him for help but i always seem to relapse. I have a boyfriend of 2 years with whom i am not sexually active which makes it harder. He’s struggling with masturbation and I with porn addiction. He talks to me about his problem but he doesn’t know about mine. He had a porn addiction too but has quit over 3 years ago and he said he finds people that watch it disgusting hence me keeping quiet. I feel like a hypocrite as i am viewed as a strong believer by my peers and friends and my family also frowns upon this(Christian home). I feel too ashamed to pray after as i feel i abuse of Gods grace and forgiveness which puts a huge blockage on my spiritual life. please help….. God bless!
Hi carly,
Do you have any women in your life you can speak with about this issue? I know this can be very difficult for a woman to talk about because of the stigma of porn being a “guy thing,” but there are many, many women out there in your shoes. I highly recommend you contact Jessica at Beggar’s Daughter about this. Her ministry is dedicated to women just like you.
Hi Carly I seem to be stuck in this same situation. I feel I have no one to turn to and I feel that I take God for granted a lot. I have gone in head first about curbing my addiction by doing things like if I feel like I’m about to watch it I go for a long run/jog. I hope we can communicate and morally support each other as this issue worries me also everyday.
God said you should be honest.
How did you stop? I am interested because your situation is exactly what I am going through.
I RELAPSE EVERY 5 TO 7 WEEKS. IT IS VERY GRAPHIC PORN. THE STRANGE THING IS I REALLY DON’T LIKE. I FIND IT STUPID. I AM VULNERABLE WHEN I AM DEPRESSED. WHEN I GET MY FINANCIAL HOUSE TOGETHER AND START TRAVELING AGAIN, I AM CERTAIN IT WILL GO AWAY. I LOVE ASTRONOMY, THAT HELPS A LITTLE. I WOULD LIKE SOME RESPONSES TO RELAPSE SOLUTIONS.
Thanks D. Reading your comment, I think this article could be a great help to you.
Hey.Am single guy,27yrs have been struggling with this kind of a thing for 4yrs now,stops & but then tempted back.Even am ashamed of myself.The lord have been good to me has saved me from (death)accidents more than three times.my workmates view me as a godly man but deep within me, am rotting.But from today henceforth I declare am not going back to porno again in Jesus Mighty Name.I believe the devil knows that I have a good destiny so he tries very hard to cut it short.Pls Holy spirit help me to overcome I don’t want to miss the rupture of the church
hello carly.I face that problem many times.every one knows I am perfect but I am not.but I came to realise that laziness and idleness has a lot to play.lack of the word and life without prayers has a lot to do.our spiritual life should not be defined by our church activities but by our times in the closet with God.if we spend more time with God then it Will go a long way to help.I am safe now because of that.
Hi carly,
When reading your comment I found myself relating completely to your situation as I too am a Christian with a Christian upbringing. I also find myself hypocrital of myself because my addiction to porn contradicts my beliefs and I know the guilt I feel when I know I should pray but am too ashamed because I took his grace for grantid after indulging just the night before.
My point is that although I don’t have a magic wand to get rid of the struggle, I do think it helps to know you are not alone. Don’t give up praying as God has not given up on you.
*THE SIN OF PONOGRAPH**
Porn was not made for entertainment or fun it
was made purposely to destroy both the actors
and their viewers. It feeds man with lust and
makes him hungry for more. That is what result
in masturbation and all abominable sexual act.
Ignorant men love to watch it for fun not
knowing that they are inviting demons of lust to
themselves. It is a great doorway for demonic
entrance. They don’t need to have spare keys to
be in your room. They only need you to watch
their product and they will come in through the
walls!. If you sit down alone to watch
something on the TV please have it in mind that
you are not alone.
There are evil beings looking out for your
weaknesses to attack you. When demons get to
know that you are weak in a particular area,
they will make it difficult for you to overcome
it. You will understand why people keep on
falling back into the same sin over and over
again!
The good news is, you can can still win and
overcome! in Jesus. Through discipline, prayer
and fasting. Otherwise, those demons will put
stumbling blocks in your paths to trap you so
we can’t afford to be careless friends. Too many
men are hooked to porn and are struggling to
overcome it after seeing the damaging side of it.
Even some pastors fall into it. We should know
that the actors are being used by demons to go
to that extreme to degrade their bodies. Married
men who get addicted to porn find it difficult to
sleep with their own wives, young men who are
not married will also masturbate.
Porn is very addictive, it is easy to watch but
hard to walk away from. They have labelled it
as “adult channel” it isn’t so it is abominable
channel!! A colleague of mine told me years
back that it is alright to watch porn with your
spouse if you are married, that was a lie! I disagreed with him. I wasn’t as ignorant as he was. If Jesus
wouldn’t watch why should we? knowing that
we are His bride and His temple.
People who watch porn end up having strong
irresistible sexual urges, because they have
invited the demon of lust to live in them. Once
the spirit brings up the desire you can’t stand the
pressure but do it with whoever you get,
whether your close relative, a child or even animal . This has
ended many into prison.
The rate at which sex offenders are increasing is
alarming in our society. Friends, close your eyes
from watching obscene pictures before it
destroys you. Some people have the nerves to
post porns on Christian sites on Facebook!!
Please delete or block such people straight
away! They are sending people to hell!. A man
who was addicted to porn confessed that his
whole life was destroyed by it. It distorted his
image on how he viewed women. He saw
women as nothing more than mere “sex
tools”
Romans 6:13
“Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead and your members of righteousness unto God”
What will help one to overcome this sin is the holy fear of God in a man, knowing that it will
be a shame to set your eyes on vulgar images
when the Lord is seated next to you. Porn is deadly, destroy it before it destroys you. Keep yourself pure!!!
PLS SHARE TO SAVE A SOUL??
Hi, I do not know you, and I can’t give advice because I am struggling with this right now, but your story really touched me and I will be praying for you. I hope you Succeeded in quitting after all these years, but Good luck to you if you haven’t yet. May God help you on your journey through this
I came to this site searching for a solution similar to what many are facing here.
And Carly, your situation literally brought tears in my eyes. I felt my porn related problem is nothing in front of yours.
By the way, I couldn’t get the girl whom I loved for years together :( (we can call it as an One Sided Love!).
So I have no one to confess or to get support :(. I am very very depressed.
I sometimes follow this addiction to forget HER memories…
I don’t even find any help from so called friends around me. I don’t even want to call them all my friends.
Yeah please if anyone wants to be friends with me, or can give me support in this moment, I will pray to God that you all live longer and happiest.
Please help…….
Hey I’m also a porn addict and I want to quit too all I can think about is sex what do I do?
Have you tried any of the “essential steps” in the article?
Yeah for all of those people who are out there who are desperately trying to purge away the great temptation and sin of porn the top three things I recommend is reading the Bible and Most of all the Book of Mormon they teach about the purity and love of Christ who can help you overcome any challange.
Second I would ask in faith with a sincere disire to be healed and don’t be afraid to lean on a friend for help
I wish you all the best Spencer
Faithful & True Ministries, Mark Laaser.
Attend their 4 day workshop, get the tools you need, and don’t stop utilizing them. Work through a 12 step program = staying sober, stop making daily phone calls, going to SA meetings (Pure, or LIFE, meetings), stop counseling, start isolating, you’ll be acting out and looking at porn in no time. Put anything else before your recovery, and you will loose it.
As soon as I stopped utilizing what I learned at the Laaser group, I fell off the recovery wagon in no time flat. Back on it, hope to have my family back soon, daily calls and meetings for life!
Covenant Eyes is the best software out there. What it can’t do is stop me from acting out. I don’t need porn for that. It’s a great tool for blocking access, haven’t found another one out there as good.
If someone wants to access Porn, Having a block on their computer will be a good way to stop it at that access point. Having the same block on a smart phone or ipod touch will do the same. That solves two hot spots for porn access. Now, for the Porn addict, there are only a few thousand more even in a small town like mine. If the Porn addict wants to find it, they will, and the only thing that will stop them, is if they use a tool in their action plan, —->before<—— they get into the cycle of addiction. Once they are actively seeking out a Porn shop, or what ever, it's too late, barring an unexpected phone call, or boulder falling on their car. Look up the cycle of addiction.
I think that Dr. Weiss has 6 good steps, but the ilnformation/advise behind each step, is lacking, and needs elaboration. The titles themselves are Really good, take for instance Number two:
+++you have to be willing to do things you haven’t done before.+++ – – Very true
""""Seriously, if you keep quitting the same way, you’re likely to fail again. To quit, you have to give up what you’ve been doing and do what you have to do.""""
This is unhelpful, thought provoking at best. "Do what you have to do"? — An addict has at some point, if they do want to not be an active Porn addict, or Sex Addict, tried a lot of different things. They don't have any idea what they have to do, to become sober.
My ex husband (now) left me and our children 5 yrs ago due to porn addiction. He has been addicted since age 12 and he is now 45. Is it wrong for me to have hope for us again? What are the chances he will or could be porn free? He does not seem happy. He did when he first left for a while, but now he seems very depressed and unhappy. Should I just move on to better or wait on him to possibly want to come back. Should I even take him back IF he wanted to come back? Please help. Confused…
Hi C,
That’s a hard one. I think I know what the “right” answer is, but its based on a lot of “what ifs.” I think it is always good to hope for your ex-husband: love always hopes (1 Corinthians 13:7). I cannot answer the question about you remarrying: that is something you need to come to your own convictions about. No doubt your husband is depressed. Since he’s been addicted to porn for over three decades and is now cut off from his family, I imagine he’s in a very low, self-absorbed place right now. There is still hope for him, but he needs to be broken over this thing. That is something you can pray for him.
Do you have support in all of this? I imagine this has taken quite a toll on you.
We have no support on this issue and don’t even understand how he could leave us over strangers. How could he do it and seem so happy about leaving? He isn’t happy now, but was SO happy when he came to visit with the kids for a few hours Monday to give them Christmas presents. The kids said they have never seen him that happy since he left. Strange… Why??? Why won’t he say he’s sorry? Why won’t he beg me to come back? Why do other men say their sorry and beg to come back? Why do some never leave? These are just some of the many questions the children and I have that have still not been answered. We have a great need to understand this, have these questions answered, etc. I don’t know if I should wait on him or try to move on. Most people just say “I can’t believe you would even want him back” or “You would never trust him again” or “You couldn’t trust him with your children or any children”… I will say that he was very inappropriate with my oldest daughter before he left us (not his daugher) My private investigator even found child porn on my hard drive of the computer he used. In court, my ex said it was an “accident” . I am so grateful for your response, as NO one has ever talked with me about these things and I just can’t get past it and need someone to explain things to me about porn addition. I honestly thought he was crazy about me and truly loved me. How could I have been so wrong and blind? Please don’t be “scared off” by my e-mail. I really need my questions answered and understand that yours may be your opinion and I’m ok with that. Please respond. Thank you so much. Gina
You haven’t scared me off, Gina. Thanks for replying.
I do think some understanding of the overall nature of porn addiction would be very helpful to you. It will at least help you to understand your husband. Here are some links that might be a help to you.
1. False Love: Overcoming Sexual Sin from Pornography to Adultery – This a free video series by Brad Hambrick, a Christian counselor, talks to those who are trapped in porn addiction. It will definitely help you get into the mind of an addict.
2. True Betrayal: Overcoming the Betrayal of Your Spouse’s Sexual Sin – This is the series Hambrick did for wives of sex addicts. It is excellent. I highly recommend you watch these.
3. 7 Questions Wives of Porn Addicts Often Ask – Great series of posts by Christian counselor Ella Hutchinson.
4. Straight Talk to Husbands Who Watch Porn – This is an article I wrote a couple years ago looking at how porn harms marriages from a scientific perspective.
You are asking a lot of very hard questions. There are many reasons for his state of mind right now: his pride, his hard-heartedness, etc. It is heart-breaking how this is impacting your children.
I highly recommend you find a counselor in your local area you can talk to. You can look for a local counselor here. Right now you need to get some timely wisdom for how to talk to your kids, how to help them have hope, and most of all, how to help your own heart to heal.
I know the felling… I love God and don’t want to be disowned… I still keep praying hoping it would leave … God have Mercy
Hey c I was addicted and my girlfriend left me but I got my act together and chaced her to the end of the earth and then married her I suggest you stay open but keep him in mind
This disease is killing youth today. Porn is a evil things. Best away to over come is to surrender almighty Allah. Believe me Islam is a solution for this. If you become addicted than you will start fasting from sunrise to sunset, all you feeling will be down.
I committed spiritual suicide in 2011 due to my porn addiction. Do whatever it takes to STOP immediately lest you lose your soul like me. I was a porn addict for 8 years and one horrific night I willfully persisted in porn and became demon possessed and committed the unpardonable sin. God left me 2 years ago and now I live in constant fear, despair and regret. If only I would have told a friend about my addiction.
What unpardonable sin did you commit?
James, is there any way I can e-mail with you? I think I know what you’re talking about and have feared similarly…
Remember James that the only unforgivable sin is not accepting God into your life. I used to believe the same thing as you but as you read scriptures and look for God more you will come to realize His truth more. I don’t know if you actually are possessed by a demon or not but if so COMMAND IT OUT LOUD TO LEAVE YOU BY THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB, BY THE LORD JESUS CHRIST. I understand life is tough but remember that even if you have committed this “unforgivable sin” just accept Jesus into your heart, proclaim Him as Lord of your life, and tell Him that you need him and won’t make it without His help. Of course mean it with all your heart
james their is no such thing as losing the lord just ask for forgivness and he will grant it the bible says that Gods free gift of grace
I was SO obstinate and the urges were so strong that particular night I WANTED TO DO IT NO MATTER WHAT COST. I didn’t care about the consequences. It was deliberate sin against my better judgment. My addiction had spiraled out of control (which I am culpable for) and culminated in such INTENSE LUST that I HAD to have it. Satan found an opportune time to try to take my soul and I surrendered. At the height of my lust, I said I would give my soul for this. I have repented but there has been no restoration. God has left me because I left Him. I hope my downfall serves as a warning to those engaged in this sin. There are ETERNAL consequences. STOP. CONFESS IT. Become ACCOUNTABLE.
I agree there are eternal consequences. But I urge you not to stand in the place of God in this situation. The Bible does speak of people being brought to a place where it is impossible to restore them to repentance (Hebrews 6:4-6), but you should not stand in judgement over yourself as to whether you have truly “fallen away.” You say you have offered Satan your soul, but do not think this is an unbreakable pact. The Lord honors no such pacts between men and the devil, or otherwise men would never be delivered from demonic powers. Whole nations have committed themselves to false gods only to be later redeemed by the power of the Gospel.
If the enemy convinces you that all hope is lost, this will keep you enslaved all the more. What if God wants to make you a trophy of his grace? What if years from now you can stand before others and say, “God’s grace is so far-reaching, he can even save those who gave up all hope, those who committed their souls to Satan, those who were totally lost in sin”?
My advice to you is:
1. Remember, there would not be a spark of conviction and pain over what your sin has done between you and the Lord if God had truly abandoned you. People who are totally given over to their sin have no such convictions (Romans 1:24-32).
2. Find someone who can help you reason through passages of Scripture about this situation, someone who can help you understand the nature of sin and God’s redemptive promises.
3. Find the accountability you so desperately need for this sin.
4. Divorce yourself from all access to lustful images.
5. Read, read, read. Read as much as you can about porn addiction and recovery from it. Fill your mind with truth.
6. Pray, pray, pray. Ask God to show you the way out. Cry out to him. Believe me, I felt just like you at one point in my life, and I thought I had prayed a million times with no answer. But God is good and heard my cry, even when I was in my Egypt.
James, please reply/contact me if you see this…
God will never leave you nor forsake you! He hasn’t left. Seek him and put him first. Pray ceaselessly. Never give up. As long as you’re alive, do not give up! Seek help from Christian friends and family. True Christians who will remind you that GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, NOR FORSAKE YOU.
James, it’s clear you sinned with your words while intoxicated with lust. You weren’t of sober mind. Much like booze and drugs, the enemy can lead us from our God given nature through stumbling blocks.
It’s doesn’t sound to me like your heart backs up what your words said. God measures us by our heart. He knows you better than you know yourself. If you still desire to connect with him, he’ll still be there, but the enemy with not want you to see this. He’ll try and bog you down in guilt, shame and fear. This is not if God. I think the unpardonable sin is a heart that’s turned away from the Holy Spirit, with no desire to go back. This clearly isn’t you.
Please try again to connect with God and keep trying everyday. Faith isn’t a feeling, it’s a decision.
I will pray for you.
Hello James, really awakend me by your sentences….Even I have been struggling from Porn,…I do admit that I love God all by my heart but Satan always makes me stumble by the relapses….Ofcourse once I almost gave up and even struggling today too but I will not give up on God , please if you want to stand again be sure to email me….I will try my best by the grace of God to accompany you….
I’ve been an addict since the end of my last relationship 3 years ago, It was my solution for not just having sex with just any random person, I need to feel a connection with someone. So I figured porn would be my stand in and now I am hooked,(3-4 times a day for hours when I’m relapsing) I’ve tried to quit multiple times, never lasting more than 4 weeks.(I just failed on day 4 this time) I want to get better but my withdraw symptoms get real intense, I feel unbelievably horny and I can’t seem to think straight or catch my breath. I also get flue like symptoms for the first week or so. How long do I have to hold out for the withdraw symptoms to subside. I can’t connect with anyone, especially with girls now and I really like for that to change.
Withdrawal symptoms are due to the withdraw of hormones and neurotransmitters being activated in your system. The the worst of those symptoms will take at least two weeks to subside for many guys. For others it can last a month.
In the early weeks, take radical actions to get distance from porn. Get rid of computers, smartphones, tablets. Or get accountability software on your devices and have the Internet report sent to someone who can help you. When you are thinking clearest, that’s the time to shore up and protect yourself. Don’t wait until you are weak and hope you make the right decision.
Can I get rid from porn in gradually method ????? Not in one time at once but in step by step way……..
Can you? Perhaps. Should you? No. For one, this isn’t the most God-honoring way to get rid of it. Second, it is doubtful whether you’ll be able to just “cut back” without overindulging or cheating. Third, experience shows it doesn’t help in the rewiring of the brain to just wean yourself off.
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l’ve been addicted to porn since l was 10 years old and now i’m now 19 and it still torments me.l want to quit caused i’m losing my faith in God and l now lack the confidence to approach ladies.l need help
Hi Adolph,
I don’t know the details of your story, but I think there are a lot of things you can do to get started.
First, there’s a book you can get for free called Your Brain on Porn (you can download a digital copy right now). Read it and think of ways you can begin to put it into practice.
Second, I highly recommend you talk to good Christian friends about this issue. You need accountability in your life. Who have you told about this? If you need ideas, you can download another free book called Coming Clean. It is all about how accountability can overcome the power of lust.
I have been addicted to porn and masturbation for 5 yrs now. I was 16 and a virgin when it all started. That means I broke my ‘virginity’ with porn and it’s very true , cos I had my first ever ejaculation to porn. and it was the very first porn I watched. I have real sex too but I don’t enjoy sex with the women/girls, rather, I enjoy ejaculating with porn…. I don’t like it that way though……. I don’t know if there are stupid and foolish people who are like me on earth. As a result of my addiction,I seem to have a very low self esteem, am becoming less confident and shy and it’s very difficult ,yes extremely difficult to approach girls. I only do approach them when am drunk. I really need to stop masturbating, I need to eliminate porn. I want to stop please, ×crying×. I. want to stop, someone please help me.
What steps have you taken to stop?
There is a verse in Romans 8v25. Sin is in the heart of every person; but not in our mind. Romans 8v25 tell us with the mind i serve GOD and with the flesh sin. How will this work is daily practice; take your mind and separate it from your heart/fresh. How is this possible? Your mind is your thinking tool, when you feel the burning in your heart to look at porn, dont let your thinking tool ponder on it, but take your thinking tool and think about GOD; then your mind will serve GOD and the flesh will serve porn. Your power is in the mind, its a neutral place where you can bruise the head of porn everytime. Abram open the gates of hell within mankind when he disobey GOD commandments is why we all have sin.
i know i may have replied way later from when you sent this, but this may help somebody else:
do not think you are hopeless , you are not stupid, the devil only wants you to think so and that is why he would like you to continue this evil, so that you may think that God has forsaken you and that he has disowned you. But tell you what: God loves you and each morning he wakes you up alive is an opportunity he is giving you to change your ways. Do not give up, God will see that you are trying so hard and will give you strength to overcome. You may not immediately stop but with time God will help you to come up victorious. Keep on praying, tell yourself that you are a child of God and you love Him.
One church pastor told me that we should not have discussions with the devil. When Eve was tempted in the garden of Eden, it was because she considered what the devil had said and she discussed with him.She should have run away immediately, just like joseph who ran away from Portiphr’s wife. So when the thought crosses your mind to watch this evil, run away from it immediately, don’t give the devil time to give you such suggestions.
the other advice is: when everyone else is going to sleep, go to sleep as well because temptations come when you are alone.
Hi, i have been on porn for 2 years now and im quite dissappointed on my porn and masturbating habits. Whenever i masturbate and look porn, i realize about what i have been doing and i sometime cry and ask for forgiveness, but the result is same, after 1 or 2 days that awful spirit is always back and i’m sick and tired of it plzzzz hellllpppppp!!
Hi Robert,
Tell me more. What have you done to stop this habit?
And if you want to give up porn but aren’t sick and tired of it, then what? Also, I can’t confide or be accountable to a guy friend because I’m addicted to gay porn.
Hi Struggling,
Good questions. First, I would ask you: Do you at least wish you were sick and tired of it? The fact that you aren’t sick and tired of it but you know that you aren’t is exactly where you need to be: you are coming face to face with your own helplessness, which is exactly where God comes to rescue us. Watch this video with Christian counselor Winston Smith about this idea.
Second, the only way I know to be truly free from porn always begins with brutal honesty before other people. Yes, you could tell someone and they might reject you, or they might show you love and support, but either way, until you push through the what-if fears and talk to someone, you’ll forever be hiding in the dark. You could always look for a counselor to talk with as well, if you are willing to go that route.
May I leave some advice here? I am a Christian person, raised in a Christian family, still I have to struggle with the fight against pornography, and still as a married man I have to said that the battle goes on, that doesnt mean we are disapprobed since in this time and in specially this era the devil has found many wicked ways to keep dragging more and more people into this trap, but if you are honest and admitted the problem I think is the best place to start, being honest with yourself and really be determined to fight for purity. I have a quite story for you young guys, I am not so old myself, only 26 but I have to live with the nightmare of having my dad to store pornographic movies, and a lot of them, that disturbed me as a child, knowing that is for sure that the addiction I developed was so early, that lead me to lots of porn, after many years going back and forth on the faith I finally had the worst nightmare one could ever have, and this is were the danger begins, pornography as different to other sins works its way into the soul, that is when you read in the new testament that any sin commited outside of the flesh stay out of it, but any other commited again your own body stay within it (1 Corinthians 6:18), so what that means is that it becomes a never ending search for pleasure because everything is never going to be enough in porn and many are dragged to homosexuality, bestiality and other forms of sex you would never thought of going, but since the new testament also talks about a group of sinners that experience the deeps of satan, (Revelation 2:13) this is talking to us of the way one could be pulled in the well of darkness, so my experience was this: after being actively addicted to porn for almost a year constantly I became aware of the need to experience something real, so I went out in search of a women, a prostitute, after many hours of chatting and planning I went to hell to have something with her, being in the room I decided not to do anything but she was used by satan and I was seduced, the result could be death itself, I repent myself and open the truth to my christian girlfriend, we cry out a lot, I had to go and perform VIH test just to be sure even wearing protection that this haven´t gone into any more sadly tragedy and justice from God from my unrighteous way of living, thanks to his mercy and kindness and healthy and live for his Glory and Grace, I was saved from death itself and that days were the most fearful, sad and worrying of my life, It felt just like if I was sick and was going to die and this feeling I pray in Jesus you never had to go trought it to learn the lesson, really the bible is serious when it says that sin could lead you to death, that it is why we have to commite ourselves, I encourage you to take a firm position on this matter, for your sake, and I hope this could ring your ears every time temptation is coming, it is really a hard way to learn but the love of God has no limits, the sin cloud your judgment and eyes and change the reality base on the premises needs of the flesh, I work now as a minister on a church, I study theology and God has lead me to great things in service on His beloved church, I am more than able and a champion to conquer this world and you also are, not in our strenght but in Jesuschrist, God Bless you.
English 101 has taught me that if you want to be persuasive, you shouldn’t make a run on sentence that long. It indicates a lack of education. Also, The pope himself on homosexual marriage said “If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?”. Statements that compare homosexuality to bestiality are harmful to people who are gay, which is not Christian. I’ve met many gay people, and none of them became gay from watching porn. Porn is harmful, but it doesn’t turn you gay. If you like gay porn, you are gay and always have been since you were born. Any amount of research should show you that when they expose straight men to gay porn, it does not make them gay. I’ve seen gay porn, and it didn’t do anything for me. If they do something for you, you are gay or bisexual, and there is nothing wrong with that. Anti-gay statements like that turn people away from Christ, thereby un-spreading the word of god.
What helped me stop watching porn was to hang out with friends a lot. I wouldn’t call what I had a porn addiction, but it is defiantly hard to masturbate or watch porn next to an anti-porn feminist friend during a sleep over. Just schedule constant hang outs for a while, and the worst of it will be over soon. It’s fun because your hanging out with friends, so there’s no temptation to not call some guy. I think this is definitely something worth trying.
As a side note, if you end up having sex with someone/making love, you should at least use a condom. Before you think about having a baby, consider all of the children who are starving. If you have a baby, the food will only become more scarce, and more children will die. Please consider adoption.
@tom: I believe he had a good heart and his teachings were in line with what the Word has to say. I believe that he has a testimony that should be shared, not squashed. He was vulnerable so that people like myself might learn, not so that he could have a grammar lesson. I believe he is right; watching porn will make you crave for more until you start to experiment with things we never we believed we were capable of. Where does “harmless” porn lead to? looking for hookers. Where does that lead? You see where I’m going. Also, he wasn’t being anti-gay by throwing homosexuality with bestiality. He was stating a point. It’s no different from throwing “alcoholism” and “lying” together; sin is sin. He was just narrowing it down to sexual sins.
I appreciate that you are standing up for what you think is right, but I didn’t say porn is good, or that the heart of what he’s saying is wrong. porn is bad because it may lead to hookers (I don’t know, but it seems reasonable), rape (studies are inconclusive, but the inroduction of porn has been correlated with sexual violence in America), disrespect for women, ect. Porn is corrosive to a healthy mind in my opinion. I think that God would disprove of porn for these reasons and more. I Quit it in the name of God and equal rights for women (feminism). If you want to quit, it helps to remind yourself not only of God, but also of your other moral obligations, and of your friends and partners that you hurt.
About homosexuality, why isn’t YOUR sexuality a sin? You were born with it just like any homosexual, bisexual, demihomosexual, greyhomosexual, asexual, demiheterosexual, greyheterosexual or pansexual. You can no more help who you are sexually attracted to than any of them. Maybe if homosexuals felt able to form relationships without judgment, they wouldn’t feel the need to use porn. What did Jesus want in us more than love anyway? Have you read the passage about homosexuality in the context of the bible? I could also use quotes out of context from God’s word to say anything. Like that when you plant seeds, you shouldn’t put them in upside down, or incest is good.
I want you to know that I’m not attacking you. I love everyone. But please don’t say that homosexuality is a sin because that hurts people.
But I do see what you’re saying about hanging out with friends. It’s definitely a lot easier to get together with friends to take your mind off of porn than it is to try and call someone. There is always that temptation to skip out on accountability when you can just stay under the radar when you are in the middle of heavy temptation.
Sorry, I don’t think I stated my point correctly, my bad. Also, I appreciate you clarifying that you are not attacking, and I apologize if I came off over-defensive. That definitely wasn’t my intention. I meant that I believe that porn could lead someone to struggle with homosexuality if your flesh begins to crave more and more of something that cannot be provided. Does that make sense what I mean? Also, I understand what you mean that people are born with certain tendencies, such as what you pointed out. However, I don’t believe that being born with a tendency is an indication of that tendency being okay. For example, take someone born with a tendency to alcohol. Just because he has a tendency toward alcohol doesn’t mean he should drink until he shoots his liver out. Or take a less extreme and more common example: people born with ADD. They have a tendency to swing to different extremes, be stubborn, out of control of their emotions, etc. Just because someone has a tendency toward ADD doesn’t mean they should act out those symptoms. They need to lean on Adonai for strength and support to overcome this obstacle. The same goes with homosexuality. I agree with you; people can definitely take Scripture and use it for their own purposes. But the Bible has countless stories where God specifically states his opposition of homosexuality. Take Sodom and Gomorrah as an example of this. They were called wicked cities for the various evils they did in the sight of God, and among them was homosexuality, and were eventually burned off the face of the Earth. I understand that these kinds of bold statements can be hard and even offensive to many people, but truth was never said to be easy or politically correct. Jesus wasn’t killed for just being a nice guy, right? He wasn’t everyone’s best buddy; in fact he had a long list of people he ticked off big time, which led to his gruesome execution. All this because he spoke truth. While I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings (trust me, it’s the last thing I want) sometimes I have to state what’s right and true, even in the face of stirring things up and ticking people off. I hope you can see this.
Thanks,
Teen
P.S. I also wanted to let you know that I do agree with you; a good thing to do is think of how porn affects others, not just yourself. Just wanted to throw that in…
Did you just compare yourself to Jesus? Lol. Thank you for a response. I know what you mean, but if homosexuality is a sin, shouldn’t we let God be the judge? Jesus said judge not lest ye be judged right? Which Bible do you read from BTW? For all we know homosexuality could have been a sin in the past because there weren’t enough people. It wouldn’t be anymore now that children are starving because there are to many people eating. Homosexuality used to be a disadvantage for your town, now its an advantage for everybody. And It’s definitely not a choice. I have ADHD (thank you for talking about our problems by the way) so I know what your getting at, and it’s not the same. I have tried to find homosexuals attractive so I could know if it could be done. It turns out you can’t will yourself into another identity. I have a number of friends who are queer. I have friend’s who are gay, who are bisexual (they are pretty and not undecided by the way, she IS attracted to males and females), who are asexual (no one turns him on no matter how hard he tries, and this has been true since he was born). Many of them have all tried to be nonqueer because people judge them, but that’s not something you have control over. Knowing and accepting who your attracted to and why is a very important part of getting over your porn addiction. My homosexual friends just ended up in relationships with people they didn’t love, watching porn to sate their sexuality that they couldn’t sate with their fake partner. When they acknowledged their homosexuality, they got into relationships and quit porn. Everyone was much happier. I think you may be gay, bisexual, pansexual, or polysexual if you are resisting your sexual attraction to your own gender. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of. I find it hard to believe God would judge you badly for the way he made you. God loves us. But if God would judge you, again, that’s for God to do and not us.
Hi Tom,
Interesting insights. If I understand you right, someone is foolish for reading the Bible in a way that leads to the conclusion that homosexuality is a sin. Is that your premise? You are saying that because homosexuality used to be disadvantageous and therefore was labeled wrong by Biblical authors, but now it isn’t. I think you might be hard-pressed to show that this is the case from the Bible.
I don’t disagree with you that homosexuality might have a genetic or biological component to it. This certainly may be the case, although I think it is more a question for science to discover. However, to say one is genetically predisposed to being homosexual or bisexual and to say God is alright with people living a homosexual lifestyle are two very different matters. For instance, I don’t believe anyone is biologically wired for monogamy: lusting for people who aren’t your spouse seems to be something inborn in all or at least most of us. That does not mean, therefore, it is not a sin. The Bible is pretty clear on this: since the Fall of humanity, we are born corrupt.
There are actually two ways we can judge people: by their hearts and by their fruits. True, we are to leave judging up to God; however, the Bible states that it is only “[God] who judges the hearts of men”. Jesus did say, “Judge not lest ye be judged” but if you go back a bit, you will find he is talking to/about those who were acting hypocritical (Pharisees, Sadducees, etc). He is telling them to make sure that their relationships are first in line with God (especially in the area you are judging) before you throw about accusations. He is also teaching people to be a little more gracious and less legalistic.
It actually also says in the Bible that we can “judge a man by his fruits”. If I see a pastor who is in an affair and cheating on his wife, then it is our jobs as fellow believers to correct him for his shortcomings (we have to judge his fruit). This does have to be done respectfully and with the love of God, and not out of a sense of condemnation, but that’s a whole other conversation. However, the minute I start saying to people or myself that he, for example, probably doesn’t even love God or his wife enough to straighten out, I have then shifted the playing field from judging his fruit (he is having an affair; I need to respectfully say something) to judging his heart (he is a hypocrite who doesn’t even love his wife or God). Make sense? Also, Jesus himself judged people’s fruit and actions. He didn’t go to the temple and just flip out and overturn the whole darn place just for his health. He did it because He was righteously angered. This was Him judging the people for what they had done to His temple. Now, if Jesus is who He says He is, then that makes Him the perfect example for how we should live our lives, right? Why would he judge the fruits of others, and not expect us to follow suit?
Homosexuality was/is a sin to God because it takes the good that he created in the beginning and warps it out if His original design (which I am sure you have heard before). Your comparison between homosexuality and starvation would be a good one except for one thing: even if homosexuality was created out of a lack of partners, it still would be evil because it warps God’s intended plan and purpose. Kids starving is not something warped; it doesn’t take what was good and make it evil. It is an indicator that it’s time for people with resources to step up and help. However, if these starving kids began eating each other to survive and stave off starvation, then we have entered the realm of twisting things. However, by saying “for all we know…” and “what if…” we have left the reality o things and entered into hypothetical. I could say, “What if aliens came down from space and brainwashed all of Sodom and Gomorrah to be homosexual? Then homosexuality couldn’t be their fault”. We don’t know the details of how homosexuality came to be, but that is not the main focus; the focus is “Is homosexuality a sin?”. How did bestiality come to be? If you don’t know, should we question whether it’s sin? No, because we know bestiality to be sin. It always was and always will be, which leads to my next point.
“[God] is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.” God doesn’t change. Period. He loves humanity now just as unconditionally as He loved Adam and Eve. He disciplines those He loves all throughout history, He disciplines those He loves today, and He will continue to do so until the end of the earth. When He inspired the many authors of the Bible to write His words, He wrote it with eternity in mind, as something concrete for His people of all times to look to for guidance. He isn’t going to say in the Bible that something is sin thousands of years ago just to go, “Oh, well it looks like apocalyptic times have come upon the humans and they have limited resources and now need to kill each other to live…You know what? Murder is no longer a sin, the humans have to do it”. The same goes for homosexuality; God won’t just change the fact that it’s sin and still say in the Bible that it is. That would be pretty darn confusing lol (I know that my murder example doesn’t exactly replicate your homosexuality example; I was just showing how that wouldn’t work).
And i agree with Luke; having a biological disposition to “something” and God being okay with that “something” are not synonymous. I know a kid who is prone to huge fits of anger and violence; it really is just his disposition. If no one corrects him now, I know he could easily grow up to become abusive. I don’t think God would be okay with all that just because he “was born that way”. Like I said before, certain dispositions are there because of Adam and Eve’s fall and introduction of sin, and we just have to learn to lean on God for His strength. If our natural sinful dispositions were “okay” with God, why would He send His only Son to die? Sin is natural. Sin is normal. We are born with all kinds of sin and cannot control how our tendencies play out. However, sin is not right. There is no such thing as “good” judgment and “bad” judgment, only just and unjust judgment. As you know, our God is a just God, but He is also a merciful God. If He decided to stick only to being just, then we are all lost causes. God doesn’t judge how he made us, He is judging the the sinful hearts we all have been born with since Adam and Eve’s fall.
Also, just a side note, it is improbable that homosexuality started because of a lack of people. There might not have been a lot of people, but ratios remained similar enough to today that no one would have been so desperate for sex that they resorted to homosexuality. Sodom and Gomorrah were to entire cities. You would think that most of the men and women would have found a suitable partner. They had to choose to indulge in abominable practices, such as homosexuality and witchcraft. Also, even if it was, I know God would still see it as sin. Look at when (I think it was) Lot’s daughters got him drunk so they could sleep with him and have kids by him. They had just become the only people for mile and miles around because Sodom and Gomorrah were just eradicated from Earth. They definitely had limited resources, so was it right for Lot’s daughters to sleep with him? No. God actually says that they were very sinful for doing so. (I don’t remember the exact details of the story, so you might want to go back and check, but I know I have the main idea down :P).
I am 13 years old and just started porn about 7 months ago. I need help. I am loosing my connection with God and I want help. I struggle with my addiction and I have troubles with masturbation. I feel so horrible and I just need help. Please respond. I will try your steps and pray to God they will work. I have a friend Max who I can talk to.
Good to hear you have someone you can talk to about this. That is the first step I tell everyone to take: find a trusted friend. When you talk to him, if he is willing, perhaps he can sit down with you and come up with an “attack plan” on this. What steps can you take to distance yourself from porn altogether? What blockades can you put in place.
Here are some articles to get you started:
1. “The Apostle Paul’s Secret to Fighting Sexual Sin”
2. “Fighting Porn Addiction: The Key Missing Weapon”
3. “Neuroscience Speaks: How Using Porn Destroys Your Willpower“
hi, i have been looking for help for so long due to struggle on quiting porn. i have done all my best things like, praying, getting rid of smart phones, but this porn thing i think its in blood now, i have tried to replace it by having girl friends but God would sau “you can’t solve evil by evil, you knw sometimes i regret why i was born couse being unsaved its a shame and being saved turn be so Hard, i tried to avoid bad friends and chill by myself but boredom would come and lead me to porn, worse thing i have been approched by homesexuals interested for date…….noooo! where to run in this filthy world
In the end, we need to rely on the means of escape God provides. For many of us, we fail to see what those means of escape are. The first and primary way of escape is just to get about doing God’s will in other areas of life: serving others, witnessing to others, discipling others, giving time and talent to things that benefit the church and our neighbor, meditating on and praying through Scripture, etc. When we are living out the will of God, we don’t have the kind of idle hands that are so often the devil’s workshop.
We also should “interrupt” the patterns that often lead to sin that may not actually be themselves sinful. For instance: you might stay up late on the computer. This is not a sinful act, but it is part of a pattern that leads to porn. Choose to quit that pattern and start a new one. Or take this for instance: you might live by yourself. This is not sinful, but it might be a pattern you choose to change. Find a roommate—ideally one who is a really good friend who you can be honest with about your struggles.
When temptation strikes, we also need to have pre-planned ways of escape and then be ruthless about taking those ways. This means we take that first whisper of sin and we strike at it. We get up from where we are and move our thoughts to truth. We label the temptation for what it is: this is tempting me to sin against God. We take our thoughts captive and speak aloud the truth of God about the sin we were contemplating. We pray to God for help. Then we change what we’re doing to interrupt the pattern.
I hope these kind of things are helpful to you.
I am a boy of 22 year and I started masturbating at the age of 17 but I want to stop now.it is affecting me in my academic and in spirit too.please help me to solve this problem.please I want to stop now.
Hi Fred,
So sorry to hear about what’s happening. It is a struggle I understand all too well.
First, I highly recommend you download our book Your Brain on Porn. I wrote this book specifically for men like you. Please let me know what you think of it when you’re done reading it.
I read this whole page and think it is wonderful. I have been struggling with porn for less than a year and masturbation for longer and think that everything Luke and most others have said are perfectly true , Biblical and helpful. Thankyou Luke and God bless you.
You’re welcome!
hey bro i have a problem which is the addiction of porn and masturbation so please help me how to quit all this things.
I’d love to hear more of your story, but if you don’t want to share more, please read this book. It is free and it will really help.
I started pornography 4 years ago I have download many video teaching me how to quit porn bt none help me,now It affect my spiritual life to much as im a christian,I always find my self back in this thing. I hate it now because it affect me academical. I need help urgent before Rapture, I want also to be raptured with the church of God . I dnt want to go to hell!! now I need a serious treatment please
Hi there, engineering student.
Your passion to rid yourself of this sin is good. Your acknowledgment that lust is a hell-worthy sin is also good. But please remember: if you are in Christ, you are not condemned (Romans 8:1). God does not just discard His adopted children for losing the battle with sin. He welcomes the prodigal children home. Yes, God hates sin, but it is his kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). We are not transformed into the image of Christ by living in the shame of our sin, but by understanding the depth and breadth of God’s love for us (Ephesians 3).
There’s a lot that could be said about your sin and what it means to repent of it, but let me encourage you: change is possible. Moreover, God does not wait for us to change in order to accept us. God accepts us first, and by the power of our new identity, we find the ability to change.
I encourage you to download the book Your Brain on Porn to learn more about this.
I triee with all the force and strength I have to quit it bt I always fail, I have great fear what will happen to if I end-up nt quiting up untill Jesus secondly for His HOLY HOLY church,HIS BODY that is nt full of porn now I want to quit for GOOD please help please help please I hate it now but I dnt knw hw I end-up watching it
Good, People i also need help with regard to pornography, i know for sure that what am doing is wrong, there seasons in my life were in i will survive for some months without watching it, but this year its worse i cant even control myself over it. am tired of it, because is disturbing my relationship with God. Am dealing with an enmy i love, i always regret after watching it. i real need help. i deal videos but after sometime will download again, its destroying my productivity, and my mind is full of sex and porn. i hate this
Hello Jelf,
I would really love to help you be a better person. Let me have your email or the best way we can stay intouch.
~Ben
I started masturbating and got into porn some years after a near rape attempt by my uncle…..for years I’ve suffered…. I need help but there’s no one I can trust…I desperately need a friend.
Hey there.
I encourage you to find a personal counselor. I’m sure you have some leftovers from that traumatic event that need to be processed, and you need someone safe to talk with. You might also find a safe place in an online group at xxxChurch. They have groups for everything!
I know it feels like you’re alone, but there’s a lot of help out there. Here’s a link to a collection of resources for women. I know you’ll find some helpful things there.
I’m glad you wrote! Blessings, Kay
I have been into this mess for over years now,being a Christian and worker in the vine yard of God,but still find my self on this.I’m trusting and believing God that he,God will see me through.
dear am also addicted into pornography nd masturbation av sinned against God nd my conscience keep hurting me let us be friends god will set us free ok
HI Ben I would also appreiate your help, send me your Email and I will email you plz
Please…is there any site for teens?? I know that I am hurting God and I desperately want to stop watching porn. Mr Bruner, you told me to talk to someone but there is no one to tell…who would listen to a young girl anyway….. they’ll just condemn me and want to beat the demon out of me….. I need help!
Hi Emmanuella,
People are hesitant to take up the teen part of this problem, because of issues around parental consent. That means there are few support groups for teens struggling with porn. I’ve been digging around, though, and I’ve got a couple of ideas for you.
xxxChurch does have resources for students. You can follow the link from this page.
There are new programs included with Celebrate Recovery that are just for teens, called The Landing. You can check this directory to see if one of those programs exists in your area.
Safe people that teens can reach out to would generally include school counselors, a youth leader, or a trusted adult in your family. Of course, if you’ve had enough experience with the adults in your church or family to know that they aren’t safe (and some adults aren’t!) then you’re wise to look around for a place where you won’t be condemned. A while back, I wrote an article at To Save A Life about characteristics of a safe adult. Here’s the link–it might help you think about who’s safe in your world. The article includes some hotline links as well.
You can continue to read blogs and pursue online resources like the ones listed here. They may not be specifically targeted toward teens, but there’s helpful information from other women who’ve been where you are.
You’re a brave girl! And worth listening to! I’ll be praying that you find the right people in your world who see that and will be safe for you.
Blessings, Kay
I’m also a teenager and I have also been battling for six years to come out of it but I relapse after weeks and it has affected me negatively but I can’t tell anyone,I’m scared and ashamed
My only trigger is when i lay down on my bed at night i just cant control myself from watching porn or masturbating
A big help could be to change your sleeping habits for several weeks. For instance, sleep in a new location that would make it more difficult to masturbate.
plz help am 25yrs and i have being into porn and mastubeting over the last 15yrs,i hv tried all knw but nw i think i knw tis is a big issue i need to handle but how plz help
Hi Benson. Thanks for your comment.
First, understand that the steps you’ve made toward freedom are not in vain. Despite your failures, you are learning through the process, and the Lord is delighted with that.
Second, understand that the sinful cravings are to be expected in this life—even really intense moments of sinful desire. This is precisely what the apostle Paul says: the desires of the flesh are real and they are against the things God commands (Galatians 5:16), even in the life of a Christian. Every Christian, every person who has the Spirit of God, “groans inwardly” waiting for the day Jesus returns and redeems our bodies (Romans 8:23). One of the best things we can do in the midst of the struggle is learn how to direct our dark cravings towards God, turning them into an opportunity to “groan” for Christ, stirring up our hope for the change he brings. As we do this, over time the hope begins to gradually displace the our longings for sin.
Third, remember, this is how the virtue of self-control is learned. Self-control doesn’t mean the absence of sinful desire but the ability not to be mastered by it. God is delighted as you learn this virtue through trial and error because He has His sights set on the big picture.
Last, remember the Lord has marked out a path to real internal change in his Word. I encourage you to read this article all about how the apostle Paul describes victory over sinful desires, or listen to this podcast. Our book Your Brain on Porn could also be a real help to you—and its free to download!
thanks for adressing my email,when i read the email of a lady whose husband left her and the children due to porn addition,i decide to seek help,cz i saw what extend tis can go,i will give you my progress after i read through the downloads.thanks for holding our hands through this battle.God bless
Thank you for the article. For me porn is a distraction from my anxiety, it actually doesn’t feel good at all. Nothing Is arousing with a drinking problem so I’ve decided to give up both because it’s going down unhealthy meaningless pathways. I will keep trying, I’ll get there :)
I wanna let go this evil addiction. i really need help. ??????
Me too! If you or anyone wants to talk, plz plz plzzzz reach out and reply to this comment. I REALLY REALLY WANT TO QUIT THIS IS JUST HORRIBLE!
i am seriously addicted to masturbation for the past 4yrs, and it is seriously affecting my spiritual and academic life. anytime i think i have stop it, it comes back to me. pls guys i need ur advice, i want to re-brand my life for a better future.
hi! an 18 an im a girl…i’ve been surfing porn from last 4/5yrs …
feel soo helpless..
this burning desire of watching and masturnating is killing me…
affecting my acadmics and i m scared will ruin my love lifee…
plsss hellp me.??????
i wanna b porn free
Hey there. Well, I’d say find a safe place and some safe people to support you in your process. You might try an online group at xxxChurch, or if you need more support, you might consider seeing a counselor. If you’re in college or university, free counseling services are often available on campus.
Make sure you are taking good care of yourself in every way you can: lots of exercise, healthy eating habits, getting outdoors, spending time with hobbies you enjoy, nurturing a healthy social life. Good self-care habits like that will help lower your general anxiety levels, which should have a positive impact on compulsive habits like porn.
Of course you can read articles like this one and try out the suggestions; you’ll find what works for you as you keep being persistent with the problem.
It takes a while to re-set your habits and you’ll probably fluctuate between doing well and failing as you work through the process of change. Remember that your habits aren’t you, and you always have the choice to make healthy choices. The more safe support you find for yourself, through groups and/or therapy, the easier it will be for you to make those good choices. You don’t have to do this all alone!
Blessings, Kay
Please get married and enjoy healthy sexual life
Take approprate schedul for days you stay safe and not, and record it in time table by using check mark.
I’m addicted to porn and masturbation for 6 years.Now I’m 16 years old.I wanna control myself from this bad habit.Please help me . I think people who are like me can help each other. We can be friend.If you are troubled with same problem.You can knock me at Twitter.
I really want someone to help motivate me too, and who understands what it’s like. I’m 14 and I really need help, so plz reply 2 my comment if u wanna b friends!
Hello Anonymous, do you have a trusted mentor or someone you can talk to about your struggles? Keeping our struggles in the light is so important. Talking about it automatically causes the issue to have less control. Darkness cannot thrive in the open!
Peace, Chris
Covenant Eyes
Hello,
I am 15 years old. I am suffering from a porn and masturbation problem and I have no one whom I trust to share this with. I am an Atheist and I could really Appreciate if someone would like to help me. Please I request you
Hi there. Well, finding help as an adolescent is always challenging because generally there’s a need for parental consent if you’re going to therapy or a group. Let me tell you how we generally work with behavioral change, and maybe we can brainstorm some ways to find you support in this.
The first step in making behavioral change is to STOP the BEHAVIOR. This is why drug addicts go to rehab. This is why accountability software like Covenant Eyes is so helpful.
So perhaps you could think about where you are accessing porn, and move to put some blocks in place. Ask your parents for help if you need to: “I don’t want to be exposed to porn, so could we install Covenant Eyes?”
Then think about the contexts where masturbation occurs, and move to put some blocks in place there as well. Change your routine. Do yoga at a time when you’d normally masturbate. Listen to music and dance. Watch a funny TV show. Call a friend and ask how their day is going. It takes time to create new habits, but if you can find some replacements that you genuinely enjoy, that will help.
The second step is to examine WHY the behavior has such a powerful hold. Masturbation provides a hit of dopamine to your brain, and that’s something your brain can come to crave. So I’d also ask myself questions like this: is there some specific pain I’m masking with porn and masturbation? Am I feeling lonely, abandoned, unloved? Is there a history of sexual abuse? If so, porn and masturbation can be a powerful distraction from the pain of those difficult feelings.
The thing I find is that sexual issues often carry a lot of shame with them, which makes recovery even more difficult: when we feel ashamed, we isolate, which creates even more pain, and that drives us back to the porn/masturbation cycle for relief. So, can think of one safe person who would listen and help you through this? Maybe a school counselor, an adult in your family, or a wise friend?
If you do have a history of sexual abuse, or some other painful events, then it would probably be helpful to see a therapist. Psychology Today has an extensive directory of counselors you could explore. Of course you would need to talk to your parents at that point! But it might be worth it, if you end up getting the support you need to help you through.
Thanks for being so brave and writing in! I hope that helps, and if you have more questions, please don’t hesitate to ask. Blessings to you, Kay
Okay… I will see if I can tell someone about this… I don’t think that it’s related to something it’s just I wasn’t in such a good company at school then I too started doing this and got addicted… I guess.. Thank you for your reply I will do my best
if you really wanna talk.. I may not be the best but I’m willing to listen. so I will hear from you.
anytime you are alone and the thought come s open to proverbs on your Bible nd read at least one chapter b4 you do that for a month u must hav gotten rid of your porn habit Note make sure you understand what you are reading
Hello my name is muhammed hussein i started porn at the age of 15 i dont know what to do again i even stop it for like 1year and go black to it again pls i nead hlp from anybody coz i love my love god pls gmail me at muhammedhussni@gmail.com
@hussein, by bringing this into the light, you are taking a bold step to break free. Just above your post, there is a response from Kay Bruner, who offers very good steps. Since you know God, step back and ask some big questions about what you really believe. God DOES have your best interest in mind. His promises are far better, deeper, wider and more fulfilling than anything porn promises. Look at Kay’s post, and then go back to the basics of your faith and just cry out to God that you believe HE is what you need.
Chris
I have never thought that I have had an addiction to pornography until recently. This is due to me believing it was the side affect of other addictions I had in my youth, like smoking dope and drinking. Thankfully God has weened me off those past habits and has helped me to grow in him. I am 18 now and know God has plans for me, but this pornography addiction has emerged and like many others, is difficult to kick, I can last for around 1 week. I wan’t to kick this habit into the furnace, early before it affects my life any further.
These sights have been helpful and I want to thank you guys for encouraging me to get help, tomorrow that is for me haha :). God bless and I pray that everyone struggling will find freedom.
I got the same problem… porn and masturbation…I always wanted to do what my peers were into(porn)..I was so innocent by the time…I’m only 17 n I’ve been doing this for about 10 months now…i don’t really have have the urge for quitting but after I read all these comments i feel deeply that I’ve got to quit…i’ve also tried putting this habit to an end but each time i do so there’s that relapse feeling that always gets into me n makes the whole(porn and masturbation) look positive…I feel that i have greatly dishonoured God n also my spiritual faith is really going down…please heeelp
Kelvin
Hi Kelvin – you’ve taken a big step by posting and by bringing the sin into the light. Have you attempted any of the steps mentioned in the article? In the end, no one can make you make better choices. God will always provide a way out. You will need to make a complete and effective decision to repent and walk in a different direction. Pull yourself up, take some time alone with God, and make this important decision, saying, “Lord, identify me with Your death until I know that sin is dead in me.” Make the moral decision that sin in you must be put to death. This is no game – it’s either “full life” with Christ or “steal, kill, destroy” from the devil (John 10:10). Thank God His grace is fresh every morning and your stumbles do not erase your name from the Book of Life, but it’s time to claim the victory that has been won for you, pick your chin up, and charge into battle A VICTOR….not defeated. God is for you! (Romans 8:31).
Peace!
Chris, Covenant Eyes
hi, ive been doing porn and masturbation since i was 15 now I’m 18…and i really want to stop bcos is affecting my life badly…i even loosing interest in basketball bcos i rather stay at home and watch porn than go for practice… i dont seem to get the urge when im in school…but once im home its a whole new different issue…..ive tried to stop, ive even gone 1 month with out it at home before..and during that period i felt really happy with myself…because my life started heading in the right direction again….but all of a sudden i juss snapped and dived head deep into porn and masturbation… i feel really awful and there is this strong feeling of hate and doubt i have for myself deep within and there this lack of interest i get towards stuff lately….girls most especially i dont hang out again with people both guys and girls
my friends are even starting to think im gay or something??
i really need your help and advice……pls reply
Have you worked through all six of the steps? It sounds like the doorways to porn are still available and you aren’t working with someone who can keep you accountable. Self-help won’t fix this – remember, “self” is what keeps taking you down this path. If you really want to quit, then it will take pulling up your boots and getting ready for battle. It’s an issue that doesn’t want to give up and as soon as you start fighting it, “it” will fight back even more. I know because I’ve been there! God is for you! What will you do first?
Peace,
Chris
I am a famous athlete and my parents look up to me so now telling them is so hard I don’t dare
Is it possible their respect for you would grow if you were open and honest?
To stop porn and masturbation. A simple yet effective key is ‘practice GRATITUDE’.
To appreciate gratitude, practice giving. It is in giving that we receive.
Think and Act. All the best.
I am a 19yr old from kenya,ive been watching porn and mustarbating for 4 yrs now,the struggle has been real,the guilt,shame ,unsuccesful trials to stop.i believe that in jesus christs name iam going to overcome this addiction.but i need some help to get me through since it wont be spontaneous but gradual.
Hi Brian, you CAN break free, but it’s not easy! Laser-focused eyes on Jesus. Have you been through the blog post and what it says? What parts of it resonate with you?
Chris
Hadith – Bukhari 3:129, Narrated ‘Alqama
While I was walking with ‘Abdullah May Allah’s peace and praise be on him he said, “We were in the company of the Prophet May Allah’s peace and praise be on him and he said, ‘He who can afford to marry should marry, because it will help him refrain from looking at other women, and save his private parts from committing illegal sexual relation; and he who cannot afford to marry is advised to fast, as fasting will diminish his sexual power.’” islam has given solution 1400 year back
I’ve admitted and now won’t do it again by God’s grace
Hi, am 18 and am addicted to porn, it has affected my spiritual and academic growth, it all started when i used it to get rid of my exam result tension, also many things were not going in my way in my life. Now i feel so lonely and has completely lost self confidence, please i want help, I want to bring the good old myself, I tried many times but every time past comes back to my mind and the feeling of guilt doesnt let me climb back. Please i really want real help
Hello, I’m so sorry that you are experiencing this darkness. There is hope! Jesus is stronger! You’ve identified some triggers, now can you redirect that urge? The blog goes through some steps, and I wonder if you’ve been through those. Having open and honest conversation about the struggle is almost always going to help. I won’t ever be too old or holy to require accountability in my life. I wonder if you would find the same relief that I have from having someone you can talk to. No amount of “trying” on your own will work. Guilt is not from God – it draws you to the past and drags you down. God’s mercy is fresh every single day. The moment you wake up, look to Him, pray like you’re at war, and ask for forgiveness, He offers it freely and endlessly. God is for you!
Peace, Chris
Am also in the same situation… I need help dOctor???……
Please I need help. I know how bad porn is and feel angry especially at the fetish act performed just as soon as I satisfy that craving. But I just still go back. I am a 23yr old programmer(so I always have internet access). It’s ruining my life and I fear it would ruin my sex life when I get married. I feel so so guilty after it that the guilt might even mimic illness but I know it’s the guilt. But I still go back. Please help me.
Hi – I can sense the guilt and shame you are feeling. You’re right in saying that your behaviors now, and the brain power behind pornography addiction are easily carried into marriage, doing great harm. When you look at the list in the post, about “wanting to quit,” or “cleaning house,” or “being brutally honest,” or “blocking entry points” – have you been able to do these things? You have to really, really want to quit. This is an issue that will not go away without a lot of really hard work, and honestly, a good dose of Holy Spirit cleansing (if you’re religious). Let me know…..Chris (Covenant Eyes)
Exposure to internet causes Me also to repeatedly watch it..if u find any solution share with me also
I have considered getting rid of my computer.
For some, it’s a good, necessary step. Close as many doors to filth as possible!
I am 17yrs.and am addicted to it.even saying or writing the name makes me feel disgusted.i am tired.it really affecting me spiritually.i need serious help.
Hello, what have you tried? Other than talking about it here on the blog, have you talked to anyone else?
The Six Essentials will not work without heart change. “For out of the heart comes sexual immorality(Gk. Porneia)” Jesus. The deception that we can do it runs deep within our sinful nature. Too many addicted to porn spend their lives using sinful paradigms to overcome the “disease.”
Based on your previous response to this point, you will say you agree, BUT, you didn’t include it in the article.
I am 23 year old engineer, struggling hard to get rid of this bad porn watching addiction.
The bad thing is most of the time in my day i m connected to internet.
Everytime i ask God forgiveness then after some time i start this bad habbit again and last for many days again i closed all the way going to this path, keep myself too much busy, studing different religions, history and science, but once i get a small tension i come again to this bad thing.i dont think if there is anyone in this world who would not have tensions and worries, i know i hate this thing ,last time i made it to the longest no watch time (5 months) , but after 5 months when i get little troubles i come again to it..i m religious practicing guy but still cant get rid of this bad behaviour, one thing i noted for sure is good company of friends, when i live among good friends ,its easy to minimise it, but its life u never get what is ideal always,any one willing to help me, i would appreciate it…
Hello, Ahmad – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Pornography so easily draws us in, and then it’s so hard to stop. Can you close some of the ways you can get to porn? Eliminate the paths. Can you invite a close friend into the situation to talk through it and help you be accountable? For those times you feel the tension and then go to porn, how can you direct that tension into something else? Can you immediately do some other activity? Text a friend? Don’t give up! Freedom is possible – but it takes hard work, my friend. God is for you! “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Run to Him! His mercy and forgiveness is fresh every morning.
Peace, Chris
I’ve tried to stop watching porn and masterbate but I can’t. Please help
Hi, Jake, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. The battle is very real, and honestly, you can’t do it alone. What have you tried? Let me say it again – you can’t stop on your own. It’s stronger than you. Do you know Jesus? Do you have someone you trust you can talk to for accountability? Are you willing to get rid of your electronic devices in order to stay clean? These are the hard decisions that are necessary if you really want to get rid of this wicked problem. God is for you! But, you have have to really want recovery.
Chris
I’ve tried smashing my device but I don’t want to
HI, Jake – sometimes it takes a clear and effective decision about the sin, like smashing the device, in order to break free. If it meant porn no longer had its grip on you, would you smash the phone?
Hey Guys
I don’t know where to start, Am 17, I started watching porn at age of 9 and it never really was an addiction, I was doing just fine in school, had a good relationship with people, Masturbation and porn addiction started like 4 months ago and since then its been hell, i droped in every thing i was doing, studies right down to the football field.
I seriously need help
Hello, and thank you for having the courage to step forward and admit your struggle. Let me be real honest – you cannot overcome porn alone. I don’t care how determined you are. It’s a ferocious monster and it’s stronger than you.
Cut off all access to the junk. Throw away your smartphone if you have to. It comes down to a question – do you really want to quit? If so, then it’s time to take evasive action, just as if you were in a battle. It also means talking it out, looking someone you trust in the eye and coming clean about all of it. Yes, all of it. In the light, the power of this junk shrivels up. But, if you hold back, it’s like a small tumor that will grow and over time, consume you again in guilt and shame.
Porn kills love and relationships. It’s been proven over and over again. It creates a selfISH perspective on life instead of a selfLESS perspective. It wants all of you, and so it robs from all of the other activities, studies, sports, and friendships, until it consumes all of your attention. Steal, kill, destroy. That’s all it knows how to do.
Covenant Eyes can help on your devices if you need something. Get an adult involved to help you with that, if necessary.
It sounds like you’re serious about wanting to break free of this, so I took the liberty to jump right in a be very direct. As a former addict, I know your pain and frustration. But, I’m not here to dwell on just the bad, because FREEDOM is possible. There is hope. But, you have to WANT it yourself. Look in the mirror and decide today if you truly want to be free. If so, then it’s time to get to work and I know you can do it by incorporating some of the steps I’ve included above.
Peace, Chris
I want to quit porn . Please help me
I am 22 years old, I want a permanent relief from sex, please help me
Hello, Umer – I’m glad you want to stop. That’s a good start. But, that’s not enough. It’s a daily commitment. It’s having open and honest conversations with an accountability partner. It’s looking at the steps in the blog post and getting very serious about each of them. Porn addiction does not go away easily. It’s very, very hard to quit, but IT IS POSSIBLE to quit! God is for you and there is no pit too deep for Him to pull you out of. Go through these steps.
Peace, Chris
Well for a single person its hard to not watch porn and masturbate because when you are living with your family and you never touched a girl but just see and talked to girls so in this case i had an porn addiction but last month i didn’t watched porn but then again this month i went back by trying to masturbate on women that i see on the public not on the porn although i did it on porn but on women more (not front of them) but in my bed inside my room. and because because it’s more fun to watch and play along than to put it on pause and go to the bed. and what makes it harder is the masturbation and your brain on porn that’s why we come back to it…I Just Wished That God Didn’t Created a Sexual Organs For the Entire Humanity So That They Don’t Get Tempted To Such Nasty Things As A Single Person Against God because i know a thing in the Ten Commandments that ”Thou you shalt not commit adultery”.
I need help on quiting porn and masturbating,i have been addicted to porn and masturbating for 15 years. I pray and repent everyday but i keep falling in the same hole,i feel like im just playing with god. One day i’ll repent ask for forgiveness and the next day i get the urgent to do it and after is done,i feel guilty and bad again. Its hard i need serious help!
Hello, there is hope! God hasn’t stopped pursuing your heart. And, His grace is fresh every morning. Have you tried accountability? Also, how are you getting to the porn? Are you willing to take the drastic steps that are outlined in the blog post? If not, you’ll continue to go back to it. God is serious about sin. He absolutely hates the impact it has on His people. So much so, that he sacrificed everything to bring you back into relationship with Him. How much are you willing to do in response to His love? It’s time to buckle down and FIGHT with every asset at your disposal. This is a war for your heart. Go back and read the blog post with fresh eyes. Then also read this one: https://www.covenanteyes.com/2016/06/30/stop-looking-at-porn-you-sicko-part-1/
After that, make a decision. Do you really want to quit? If so (and I hope the answer it YES), let’s get to it.
Peace, Chris
Im 23 years from Tanzania Istarted porn and masterbation 5years ago ihave tried to stop it for several tym bt repeat it im too hypocrite to my fellow university students who treat me as really servant of God,ihave asked forgiveness from God &fast to stop it bt ifelt into temptation again “some of my fellows they know my problem ihave explained it bt still no help”iblocked my instagram account to prevent reoccurance bt no help what can ido im really Christian iknow each and abt Jesus plz help
Hello, Joseph – on one hand, my heart breaks for your situation. Addiction just takes the life and motivation right out of us. But, on the other hand, you’ve admitted the issue, and that’s a great step! Now, comes the hard work – are you ready? When you look at the blog post you commented on, pay close attention to each item Dr. Weis mentions. Are you willing to “clean house” and get rid of the devices causing problems? What about the other things on his list? Also, I wonder – how badly do you want to quit? Have you made a clear and effective decision about this sin? https://www.covenanteyes.com/2016/06/30/stop-looking-at-porn-you-sicko-part-1/
Joseph, God is for you! Anything is possible at the cross of Jesus Christ. Read Romans 8 to be reminded of who you are in Christ :)
Peace, Chris
Doctor this site is no longer used Why silent???
Thanks guys
hy guys my mame is Innocent I am 16 years old I started porn last year in October and I am trying to stop it but yoh its difficult ,I stop for one week then it comes again I don’t know what to do anymore because I am a strong believer in Christ I don’t know anymore please help
Hello, Innocent – I’m glad you took the tough step of admitting the issue. Now, comes the hard step of inviting someone into your life to help you. That’s the power of accountability. It also means closing the doors that exist to watching porn. If that means getting rid of your phone, then that’s what it means. Go back and read the “6 Essential Steps” again and really dive into them. If done with honesty and dedication, they do work. Christ and Community is the only way.
Peace, Chris
Hi innocent,
I am dealing with the same thing you are. I really want someone to keep me accountable and encourage me spiritually, but I don’t know anyone to do that with. Would you possibly want to exchange emails or something? We can send bible verses or notes of encouragement. If you ever feel tempted you can just send me an email or if you mess up I can talk with you and help you.
Pls guys dont watch porn..It is not good neuther for u nor for your family..It is taking world by a stOm..People are making it just for the profit..They dont care about yoi and yoir family..Because of some mean people society is getting polluted and wasted and dirty.. Sex is not bad as because of it we are born..But this porn has made people vulnerable and this porn sitrs cover your eyes and dont let u look ahead of what u r doing and wat not.. it is really bad and highly underiabale..At first u mihht feel good but it ruins your growth your brain your miscles ykur stamina..It is thats y called gentle rape..Pls dont guys engage in this kind of activities and pls help others cone out of it .. Dnt look porn rather there are millioms of things to go and watch out for..Stop and start new..Start fresh!!
bro your mind your control make your mind tough for no more watching porn their are many things to do and search on internet.don,t fell your self alone go out and meet with friends trust me you automatically forget about porn
If your mind comes to think about the porn call jesus you will be saved
Hi my name is crystal, and I’m a porn addict. I’m just 16 and I feel like even
God has given up on me (though he hasn’t). I am a christian and I’ve disappointed God more times than I can count. So if there is any one who could help me I beg of you, lend me a hand. Thank you! God bless you! ☺
Hey Crystal,
I’m so glad you’re able to know the truth that God’s love never, ever gives up on us. I think that’s the real key to any kind of change and growth: confidence in God’s love, no matter what.
If you’d like to stop masturbating, shame and anger with yourself will never get you there. Receive God’s love for you–that will certainly help. Finding people who are loving and kind, and talking with them about struggles helps, too. Connecting with other people in real, true ways helps cure shame and makes us less vulnerable to acting-out behaviors.
Of course there are behavioral steps you can take to make yourself less vulnerable, but good, healthy, honest emotional connection to God and others is the basis for all change and growth. Change and growth are long, slow processes, and we have to keep receiving love, over and over and over again so that we can extend love over and over and over again to ourselves and to others.
There’s a famous story about Thomas Keating, a teacher of contemplative prayer. One of his students said, “Father Keating, in 20 minutes of prayer, I fail 10,000 times.” And Father Keating said, “How wonderful! Ten thousand opportunities to return to Love!”
I think that is a powerful, healing paradigm shift: if we can stop thinking in terms of our own failure, and consider instead the limitless expression of God’s love to us, it would revolutionize our lives–and probably bring about the changes we are hoping for.
Peace to you,
Kay
I have only been watching porn for a little bit but I really want to stop And yes… I am a girl. Porn isn’t just for men obviously. I really want to talk to someone to keep me accountable and to encourage me spiritually, but I don’t have any friends that would actually want to help me overcome this addiction. I am so afraid to talk to a family member about this because I was raised in a Avery Christian home, and my parents would be appalled. What should I do?
Hi, Grace – it’s tough when you’re all alone. In my experience, all alone with temptation means the devil wins. Almost every time. Christ and community give you the strength needed to overcome his lies. If you can’t find someone to trust, maybe an online community might help? Here’s a good one: http://dirtygirlsministries.com
Peace, Chris
Hi, My name is Abel, and let me tell you my life story about porn and masturbation, First make sure to read this if you help me or learn form my life story,
People see me like hypocrite on these situations and having a good life with my family and don’t want to be disturbed.by the way I have Good social relationship.
And don’t be bored of the long comment because it is my life story and it need to be long.
Let me start and hope you people will help me.
FIRST, on my childhood around the age of 6 the maid make me get in this erotisim I don’t know if he was satisfied by this but it marked the bigining of these problems ,I stared the masturbation by my own like creating it.That time my age was 12,I was matured. These 2 things envolving the awareness I had that time were causes of the problems.
#Let’s_start with the MASTRUBATION.
For 5 years I use this thing still now, the first 2 years I used was with out knowing it even it’s name and consequence,but the left 3 years I know everything because of my friends.some of my friends say it causes you to be barren then they say ” It will consume your 7 day energy for one moment ” and these makes the problem to be reduced around 20%. I am a skeleton boy with a height of 1:88 and weighs 63KG constant,you can calculate the BMI it is unhealthy,I really want to overcome this and then make my body mass index inhansed and having a new life.
#Then with the PORNOGRAPHY.
I don’t remember when I started this but have Harash, Worse, Killing, Odiuos, Sick… I would like to continue but….
I want to stop it because of … You people know it’s Effect, In my country there is not private or home WiFi, we use other place like hotels, offices and so on, because of that we don’t get fast network that enable us to watch online porn videos but instead we download it. I know 2 websites that make me download and watch it home so in order to overcome this I need to block these forever from Google(And if you guys know how to…? Please Reply, it is for both PC and Android) I use both WiFi and cellular data.
I tried to be busy and forget it but I don’t have the habit of busy as a bee, but I found it working the days I get busy, I’ll recommend the author of this site to add this as another option.
#Did you know I have never asked anyone about these problems because I don’t want to be disturbed for ever instead I think it by my own?
But finally i want to expose it only on internet and I If it doesn’t work reveal it to my best reiable friends.
It also make my spirituals die.
If you see my physical you will be shocked.
MY OLD LIFE HAS ALREADY RUINED, INEED TO START A NEW ONE by your support.
PLEASE HELP ME ON THE NAME OF JESUS!!!
And thanks for accepting to read this and helping me.
“FIGHT THE NEW DRUG”
PORNOGRAPHY
IT IS WELL WITH U
which one, u haven’t seen the effect hmm
My dear I was addicted for 5 years I became the chief of porn supplier to my friends back then in school until I encountered Jesus Christ, all you need to do is surrender to him. Also get my book on porn addiction. miracle Igwe
Hi here. I’ve been into porn and masturbation almost 5 years. I’ve tried all my paint best to break free but it’s just too hard. I know it’s wrong and I know it’s capable of taking me to hell. I’ve searched for help from other Christians close to me but all to no avail. It looks like nobody cares. I need help, I need Jesus. please pray for me
Have a look at Romans 8 again, my friend. Life, death, things present, things future, angels, demons: NOTHING shall be able to separate us from the love of God. If none of those things can do it, then masturbation won’t either.
If you’d like to stop masturbating, shame and anger with yourself will never get you there. Receive God’s love for you–that will certainly help. Find people who are loving and kind, and talk with them about struggles. Connecting with other people in real, true ways helps cure shame and makes us less vulnerable to acting-out behaviors.
Of course there are behavioral steps you can take to make yourself less vulnerable, but good, healthy, honest emotional connection to God and others is the basis for all change and growth.
Peace to you,
Kay
David, igwe miracle is my name I also had the same issue, but until I run to Jesus I never had my freedom, but one thing I have discovered with porn addiction is that it is a battle you keeping fighting so long as you are a Christian once you have been addicted. Jesus have give you victory but you have to fight to retain that victory. Get my book on freedom from the addiction called pornography.
Hi here. I’ve been into porn and masturbation for almost 5 years. I’ve tried all my possible best to break free but it’s just too hard. I know it’s wrong and I know it’s capable of taking me to hell. I’ve searched for help from other Christians close to me but all to no avail. It looks like nobody cares. I need help, I need Jesus. please pray for me
Hi, David – I’m sorry that you’re struggling. When you say, “I’ve tried all my possible best,” is that true? Have you cut off access to the internet? Have you begged God for the strength to break free? The cross of Christ is not powerful over sin and death only to be powerless to your porn and masturbation. Do you believe you can break free? If you don’t believe it’s possible, then it won’t happen. Change what you believe and I believe you will change your life – read this blog post. God speed.
Peace, Chris
i have been masturbating for the past 4-5 years now in the last year till now i’ve been trying to stop or control it but i can’t…..i’ve tried to stop for more than a 100 times but i can’t…i know the effects of masturbation but still i can’t just stop…i can only go myb 3-4 weeks without masturbating sometimes i feel like i can never stop…. i know more than 20 pornstars in my head so if i try to stop for a few days the pics nd vids keeps coming to my head then it triggers me…please any advice you might wanna give me……here’s my e-mail because i really desperately need help thank you.
I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. It’s no just a matter of stopping the masturbation, but also replacing the time, energy, with something else. Keep your hands busy with other activities! Read more here: http://biblereasons.com/idle-hands/
Chris
Hi, i am porn addicted. I am 25 and still watch porn. When i look any girl sex thoughts start coming into my mind. I could stop myself only for two to three days watching porn. I am very upset. Can anybody help me?
Hello, Ali, I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling. Have you sincerely tried the steps in this blog post? We believe that if they are carried out consistently and with energy, that you will find redemption. But, you must make a daily effort
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David, igwe miracle is my name I also had the same issue, but until I run to Jesus I never had my freedom, but one thing I have discovered with porn addiction is that it is a battle you keeping fighting so long as you are a Christian once you have been addicted. Jesus have give you victory but you have to fight to retain that victory. Get my book on freedom from the addiction called pornography.
Am 21 year and I have been struggling with porn and masturbation 5 yrs now.I have had this addiction before I accepted Jesus in my life but this thing keeps poping up ever time and it has really crippled my relationship with God.so much shame and guilt…and the filthy sense that follows after masturbating makes me feel unworthy to pray or ask anything from God…i feel so unworthy even to be among my Christian brothers and sisters at church, I even isolate myself these days.
I had stop the addiction for about six months but not until things went sour at home and I was chased from home for no reason.I felt so depressed and lonely I just wanted affection that I could not get from home
So I went back in into masturbating and ever since my life has been the rosks and I can’t seem to stop
this addiction has been causing me have hiccups in church attendance lately…everyone know as prayerful person and a strong believer…but am fighting a secret and shameful battle against porn.
I know can overcome this addiction but I NEED HELP!!!…
Hi, Nate – I’m sorry that you’re struggling. When you read the 6 essential steps in the blog post, what has/hasn’t worked? We believe that victory is possible if you faithfully follow those steps.
Hey, I am a student who has to prepare for her exams but it is like so weird to admit but I have been feeling really turned on since the past month. Yes, almost like an autoerotic person. Then I went into a disgusting spree of watching porn videos and naked pictures women and found myself being attracted to girls. These activities of mine make me feel like I am the lord of perverts. This feels like a sin. I really want to quit it and study enough. Please help me.
Hello, Alia – what have you tried? Can you remove internet access from your world for a short time? Set up restrictions on your phone? Anything! This doesn’t just “poof” go away – it takes grace-driven effort. Tough, daily choices. But, you can do it! God is for you. Read ths blog post again and take a few steps…..today.
Best, Chris
I’ve been addicted since I was 13. This has led me over the years to find new and more dangerous ways to be satisfied… Dating sites, Craigslist, etc. And worst of all I know it’s had to affect my family. I’m now 36. I can’t do this anymore. I’m ready now. I’m ready to get it out of my life.
My Google search of “how do I get porn out of my life” led me here.
Hi, Chris – I’m so sorry that you are struggling but I’m so pleased that you have decided to stop. We’re here to help! Have you tried any of the suggestions from the article? We have found that people who take those steps seriously typically make very positive progress to living porn-free. But, if you try to “slug it out” on your own, experience tells us that it just won’t work. “On your own” is probably a big reason you’re struggling currently. Yes, talking about it openly with someone who will encourage, not judge, and say “hey, there’s a better way!” is so very important. I hope you are able to do that and don’t give up! It might get harder before it gets easier, so be ready for a fight.
Best, Chris
Peace for all, so we are here because of struggling to quit pornography. It is like a loop that you cannot break. First of all, take your religion seriously. These days people left church, mosque, temple, shrine and go to strip club, clubbing, too much alcoholic things with different names, the drugs not to mention some of people always find access to sex worker even in virtual world. How you choose your entertainment will affect your next day and in long term your future. It is good to wear modestly, instead of too many skinny, ripped version of cloth, see-thru cloth. These kinky outfits will affect you, if you do not believe me, it is okay. Dont believe me just watch for consequences. Look inside Bible, al-Quran, Gita, and many other religion books, you can make a big difference. Things will affect you are the media you consume, the food and your cloth. Life comes with manual, Holy Books for every religion is available yet we rarely read it not to mention memorize it. Make yourself busy with work. Get money and start a family instead wasting money towards porn. Porn is business that making good turns bad and bad turns the baddest. Porn doesnt dignify any gender. It is lust and lust is one of great sins. You need to channel your energy towards something legitimate like your wife. We always think it is good to have sex with girlfriends, actually it is not. You need to tie the knot. Sex without commitment is just degrading humanity towards animals. Human should be civilised and knowledge is power, action is strength, struggle is medicine. Do you read enough report about HIV/AIDS among sex workers? Statistic and report are all over the world, you can read or even you can make a research for the benefits of others. Learn your psychology, learn your struggle, learn your spirit. If your family members involve in porn, even just a director or cameraman, do you be like them for money, ignore them, prevent them or support them? Your life is all about decision and motivation plus action. Get your life, see how some senior citizens can make their marriage last long without go to porn or always change their partner. Think about it.
Hi there i am 20 year old and i am totally addicted to porn and mastuburation i wann quit it but it coming back again in my life i want a friend to talk aboutit is one want to help me
Hi, Archie – I’m so sorry that you are struggling. Have you tried any of the suggestions from the article? We have found that people who take those steps seriously typically make very positive progress to living porn-free. But, if you try to “slug it out” on your own, experience tells us that it just won’t work. “On your own” is probably a big reason you’re struggling currently. Yes, talking about it openly with someone who will encourage, not judge, and say “hey, there’s a better way!” is so very important. I hope you are able to do that and don’t give up! It might get harder before it gets easier, so be ready for a fight.
Best, Chris
Hi Archie am 21 years old and i would like to be of help
if its ok by you
I would like to document my experience but due to cultural reasons cannot do so publicly.
It started with masturbating in the shower when I was about 8. I stumbled across it unknowingly on my own but kept doing it because it felt good. No one knew or dissuaded me from such acts as there was no talk of sexual matters in my family. Then I got my first iPod touch and a wireless internet connection when I was 14, driving me into porn through those innocent fanfiction tumblr feeds linking to those not so innocent ones. I could already feel my vigour and energy sapping away, but misattributed it at the time to growing up. Discovering the nsfw section of reddit soon after drove me even deeper into this abyss and caused my school marks to deteriorate, falling from top student of the grade to above average. I was also a hardcore gamer throughout school and high school. When I entered uni at 17, I decided to quit gaming for good, which I have maintained, but despite discovering nofap, I never got past two months and fapping’s grip on me had only gotten tighter.
I was truly a prodigy when I was a child, and I still remember the clarity of mind with which I considered the world around me. I felt that I really would be able to achieve great things when I grew up. But now, with those things a long gone memory, I realise that those people who do better than me in uni and in the world aren’t necessarily endowed with much better or worse natural abilities than me. It is just that they have more experience solving problems and overcoming conceptual barriers than me, while I was jerking it to some grotesque fantasy and numbing my brain. This is truly the greatest regret of my life, and despite knowing all this, still does the sight of an attractive woman cause me to go down the eventual horrific path of relapse. The pain and suffering that this addiction has laden me with is incomparable to even the worst kinds of torture conceivable. Unlike actual pain and suffering though, I don’t come out of it a stronger man. That might be the most ironic part of it all; that the worst form of pain doesn’t even improve oneself in the way the others would. What a con, the human sexual drive.
At the same time, the rest of nature discourages you from porn and fapping. Even a fortnight without it causes my face to look happy, vivid and with symmetry, and girls stare and smile at me when I walk in public; something unimaginable when going outside just after a binge. It really is this demon against the world; and for 13 years this demon had been winning, most painfully, during my formative years both physically and mentally. Well, there’s no going back now. I may never be able to think as clearly or do things as well as I would have done had I never gone down this dark path, but one must always maximise their current potential; and continuing this habit is not maximising my potential. Stopping the habit, no matter the withdrawal pain, will be better than the lifelong pain and regret from continuing it. I hope that my account might help others in similar situations.
Hi, Carl, this ending statement from you, “Stopping the habit, no matter the withdrawal pain, will be better than the lifelong pain and regret from continuing it” is absolutely true. I have prayed that you stick with this conviction!
Best, Chris
hi there, I’m 20 years old and I’m from Ethiopia. I don’t know how it all starts but I’ve started watching porn a few months ago. it is ruining my life specially my spiritual life. I’ve grown in a Christian family and I love jesus and wanne live a life that pleases him. I just need someone that I can talk,please anybody!!!
Hi – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. That spirit of shame and disgust is so heavy. But, it wants you to keep secrets and hide the issue because when you do that, the enemy wins. BUT, in the light, and saving Grace-filled love of Jesus, that disgust and shame is crushed. Can you trust anyone to talk with about your struggles? Maybe even a support forum like nofap.com, where you can find other people online who understand and will support you?
Be strong! Christ did not die, descend to the depths of hell, conquer death, and rise to glory only to be defeated by your struggle. He overcame the struggle for YOU! Yes, for you. God is for you and will be your strength. But, you must act. Look at Joseph in Egypt – when tempted by Potiphar’s wife, he didn’t stay and ponder the situation. No, he ACTED and RAN! Now is your time. I hope the best for you,
Chris
Hi, I am Johnson and I’m 34. I was introduced to masturbation without porn by a friend (i now know he was an enemy) in Junior high when I was about 15 yes old. I graduated from masturbation without porn to seeking for porn anyhow I could. In those days, there was nothing like internet services where I lived (and that should have been an advantage) but I would use little money I get to buy porn magazines at newspaper vendor outlet (secretly). I also bought CDs containing porn scenes and watch at work (worked after high school as a computer trainer). It endured until the advent of internet came and then my problem compounded. I have been able to stop for 6 months but relapsed again. I am married and have a child but don’t live with my family as I live far away from them. My relationship is already a mess. I just can’t seem to be able to stop. I go to church and profess to be a christian and am seen as such but I struggle in the secret. I fall whenever the desire comes. I have remained alive because I keep telling myself, no mater what, I won’t give upon trying to quit, but its just hard. Times if disappointments and frustrations and loneliness are the most dangerous. I have prayed, fasted, yet nothing different. I have got different miracles from God (healed my blinding eyes, saved me from death in an accident) yet not this evil. I discovered clearing my computer or installing app alone does not help because whenever the urge comes, I break every barrier I put in place to stop me.
A lot of people look up to me as a responsible person and that makes it very difficult to execute item #2 in Weis suggestion. I really need to do something different because it has been the same cycle.
I know I will be free and I am willing to pay the price. I just read here about doing without internet. I think that is the next thing to do. I need further info from anyone who has succeeded. Any person interested can also visit yourbrainonporn.com
hii……am a gal from uganda bh its like porn has consumed my mind..whenever i watch porn i marterbate and after that i gain my conscience..and i rei regret…bh i just want to quit..i need help
Hello, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. The blog post explains 6 essential steps. What have you tried? Are you willing to do whatever it takes? Unless the answer is “yes,” then no amount of trying will help. You really need to be 100% committed to doing anything to breaking free. Even getting rid of whatever you use to watch the porn.
Please as I am talking now I just finished masturbation I am 22 years old and and I have been addicted to this act for like 5 years everytime I watched porn and masturbat I feel guilty I feel like killing myself when I stop and delete anything that relates to porn in my phone even some music when I stop for like a month or two weeks the feeling will still come and I will start again when ever good things want to happen in my life when the porn come and masturbation I will lost it the very moment it’s seems like I have been poses I have try my best possible way to stop it but it always bounced back to me, I have talk to counselor I have stop using the Internet but it keep coming I have promised my God not to do it but I still fail Him a thousand times how bad will He hailed me?? When I have wounded him for several times? I don’t think he will remember me because when ever I think I have to get back to God this though will always comes to my mind ” like how many time will you have to confess to Jesus you are confessing now I give you a week you will go back to it, will Jesus listen to you? When you have fail him and promise never to do it and you still go back to it how many time will you have to do this”…….. So I just feel like dying today because I can’t stop I can’t control my emotions towards porn I don’t even know my value in this world I am stuck and hang without moving ahead this has course me many failures I have cheated myself I am no body in my family, friends and relatives I don’t know what to do right now I need help please.
Hi, Peter – you are not alone. Please read that statement again! There is always hope. I’m deeply concerned about your comments pertaining to “feel like killing myself” and “I just feel like dying today” because your life is priceless and no amount of sin and struggle changes your value. Do you have access to a suicide assistance center or phone number to talk with someone? In the US, the suicide prevention number is 1-800-273-8255, and they have a chat feature here.
Let’s start with some basics. God’s love isn’t conditional on your performance. Let’s erase that thought out right now! The enemy wants us to think like this, “you + sin = God doesn’t love.” When in fact, the equation is “you + still = God always loves.” (Romans 5:8). Forgiveness like endless streams of living water.
So, let’s get down the business. I believe you can control your thoughts toward porn. Jesus did not die for us to just keep on struggling! He IS victorious and that victory transfers to those who believe. That’s you! So, in a very loving way, I want to invite you to put on your suit of armor and instead of seeing this as struggle, look at it as a battlefield. A good soldier wouldn’t go out expecting to die, so get out there and fight and don’t accept anything less than victory. You don’t have to give way to these sins, you choose to. Victory comes moment by moment. Not in life-long promises never to sin again. The enemy loves those promises! “Give us this day our daily bread.”
Be strong! Christ did not die, descend to the depths of hell, conquer death, and rise to glory only to be defeated by your struggle. He overcame the struggle for YOU! Yes, for you. God is for you and will be your strength. But, you must act. Look at Joseph in Egypt – when tempted by Potiphar’s wife, he didn’t stay and ponder the situation. No, he ACTED and RAN! Now is your time. If you still have access to porn through a computer or smartphone, then pitch it. Through the TV? Toss it out the window. Battle.
I hope the best for you, I truly do. Get the help you need! Your life matters.
Peace, Chris
Bro when the sex desires comes never touch your sex organs with your hands just go to a long drive
Chris, I thank you for the word of God you used in the comments above. An example that a person relate to. Keep motivating people like us, may God bless you.
Hi Peter, what Chris said is very important but have u really given your life to Jesus?, if u haven’t it is very needful cos He promised to give us rest from our yokes(Matthew 11:28-30) only if you come to Him.
hmmm a friend lured me into this and it has been so hard for me to let go of this act am tired I have lost so many things due to this act even I have exposed my secrets to so many people but still I still find it difficult to come out my relationship with jesus has dwindling hot today cold tommorrow pls help me my career is at stake i easily forget things due to this I have just practised the act nw pls I need ur prayers and counsel pls help me.
Hello, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. You are commenting on a blog post with 6 essential steps to quitting. Have you tried them? It sounds like maybe you still have too much access and it might be time to shut down as many doors to porn as you can.
Hey my name is Demi and I’m extremely addicted to pornography and masturbation…my emotions towards women are dying… i need help. Contact me pls
Hello, Demi – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. What have you tried? There are 6 great suggestions in the blog post here. There are many places you could call for help if you need to talk to someone also forums like http://www.nofap.com where you can find support from a lot of people who will understand what you’re going through.
I’ve been wanking on porn for the past 8 years now and am a complete joke now skinny broke no girlfriend lack of confidence but I believe that all this is a thing of the past
Jesus loves me am a child of God
A man may be an addict and yet still a child of God this is time to change now and by the resurrection power of the holy spirit everything will be fine in Jesus Christ name.
Avoiding internet is the best possible way to quitting porn try to avoid internet usage for like a year I know I t will be difficult but know what you want deep down yourself.
Sir, please help me as I m in big trouble. I think that if you will suggest me something so it will help me better. Sir I feel so guilty as I know that if my parents will when come to know about my this very very bad habit then how they will feel.
In my childhood I was sexually harassed my a boy living in my neighborhood, and from that moment I also became addicted to porns. No I m only 14 and suffering to leave this bad habit.
Sometimes I feel depressed because in the eyes of other people I m a sincere and a respected boy but the reality only I know about myself .I feel so ashamed . This habit is affecting my academics and health too. Please suggest me some method to leave this bad habit
Hello, Rojer – it is so important to find someone to talk to. If that isn’t possible, then you will need to do some of the things that this blog post suggests, like starting with the devices that are giving you access to pornography. If there were an open door in your home and dangerous animals were coming in the door and threatening your life, what would you do? The answer seems obvious, but you would close and lock the door, right? The same is true for the “doors” that are open to the internet. Why keep them open? You can’t expect a different result (stop looking at porn) if you continue to do the same things. Your body, brain, and soul need to establish new habits and patterns. I hope some of this is helpful! God is for you. He doesn’t get disgusted with your sin. He isn’t surprised by your sin. He entered into your sin through the Cross of Jesus Christ and said, “I see you. I know you. I love you. Come to me.” No condemnation. None. The Cross destroyed condemnation for those who put their faith and trust in Jesus (Romans 8:1).
Peace to you, Chris
Pray to God,
Summon courage,
And tell your Parents
guys I have same problem of watching porn and masturbation it is really affecting my life honestly and my studies each time I read I forget easily and I realize it is my porn and masturbation habit that cause it guys I really wanna stop and I need serious help cause it is ruining my life
I know how you feel Ahmed. Some people may not be aware, but porn addiction free people can build cognitive skills and it’s easier for them to study and preform academically in school. Opposed to a porn addict in which masturbating and porn impedes cognitive skills. You may ask if this is true. But I know this through first had experience.
Same applies to me, but I think I will try everything i have read above. THANK YOU VERY MUCH
Few months ago iam so addicted to porn when my sex desires comes i just watched to porn and masturbated slowly slowly i realised that porn can damage my life, my relationship,my behaviour, my mind and my studies. And now i realised if i dont stop the addiction of porn it can destroy my life.. So i decided to stop watch porn forever, i realised that the sex in porn are not real in real sex i realised i they all are doing it for money…. So finaly i quit for porn forever and i will never watch it again
Guys we all are humans and we all have sex desires when sex desires comes dont touch your sex organs with your hands.. And just go to outside and feel the fresh air and watch porn when the sex desires comes. Stop thinking about sex your problem will be solved. Thank you
To stop watching porn, you have to ignore it. Don’t fight it, just ignore it.
I am a porn addict and I really want to stop. also I would like to be friends with the person that said that this life destroying habit is affecting his or her singing profession, if it is possible I would really appreciate it. thanks
actually I think u should try talking to someone, not just anyone but someone that u know is in Christ, then try pray for God mercy and then try reading the word of God, Roman 3:23-24 .it helped me I believe it will help u too. just don’t give uppppp
Hey y’all I’ve been addicted ta porn since 2006 and I’m 22 fixin’ ta have my first child in june. I have try ta give it up doin’ somethin’ else I love ta do like video games or do somethin’ that I I don’t do much like read my bible. I’m not worth anythin’ any more but I want ta quit been wantin’ ta quit but it something I can’t let go. I have quit smokin’ at the snap of a finger and I’ve done it since I was 13/14. So why can’t I do this at the snap of a finger. I know why cause I’ve walked too far from God and let the devil walk in and intervine. But now its time ta walk the other wayand let God walk in and intervine. I hope what I’ve said may help some and we should start a group thing where its porn aa lol if drinkers can have group things with other drinkers why not porn addicts do the same
Hi, Phillip – a lot of porn strugglers count on accountability to stay clear. Especially for you, as you jump into being a father and wanting to set a strong, positive example for your child (BTW, congratulations!). If you can’t find a trusted friend to talk to, then there are virtual accountability groups, like: https://www.bravehearts.org that might help?
Peace to you, Chris
with Jesus everything is possible
I AM 17 AND AM STILL STRUGLING WITH PORN. ANYTIME I QUIT, I FIND MYSELF BACK IN AGAIN AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT. HELP ME
Hello, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Many people discover that breaking the cycle of sexual addiction, including pornography, is the toughest fight of their lives. Don’t hate yourself. Don’t give the devil that much control. Jesus hates the porn, but is hopelessly and endlessly in love with you. Turn to Him. Start fresh and lean on His power. Take 1 or 2 of the steps in this blog post to begin.
Chris
Have you considered having an accountability partner. It would help you with your cravings
I am Tonney, a first year student at the university studying Bachelor of Mathematics and Computer Science. I started watching porn 5 years ago. At that time I was in high school and I loved it because since the time I started musturbating my performance in school inreased tremendously. I always toped at least 3 subjects in every exam. Since then I put pornography and musturbation as my first option. I made it so secrective that no one could ever suspect I was such immoral. Later after my my highschool certificate musturbation changed into a daily basis part of me. I couldn’t realize the damage it could have caused in my life. After joining campus the year 2016 september i realized my concentration was very low. Even though I tried all my best I still have the rough time in class. I had taken musturbation as a daily routine. In my first semester I failed almost all my exams but by God’s grace I still had a chance. School became hard as I could not cover at the pace my fellow classmates did. Still I was there taking doses of my frequent monster that always eats me up little by little. Later in my second semester i was so worried about my performance and when we closed campus I told my dad that I was not ready for the Second year that was commencing this September. It was easy to convince a parents they both agreed with me. I faked it that studying at home could give me enough concentration. I had bet tell anyone about this but I hope I am I the right place. Please my beloved ones, Who can help me achieve my dreams???
Hi my name is bri…. i am a christian… i try my best but ever since starting a very heavy masturbation session after being mollested at age 12, its very hard for me to stop…. i actually started playing sex games at 10 after being exposed to sex by a classmate, now i dont know what to do… all except trust God…. i was hoping someone here could give me a word of advice because i just finished watching porn again and im 16 Help!!!
Hey there,
It sounds to me like you need a therapist who can help you process the sexual trauma you’ve suffered. As a therapist myself, I would see the porn and masturbation as symptoms of underlying trauma that needs to be treated. I hope you’ll approach your parents, let them know that you want help for the trauma you’ve suffered, and ask for an appointment with a therapist who specializes in trauma. Peace to you, Kay
My name is James i started watching porn way before was even in my teens though sometimes i went months and even years without watching porn ….i’m 15 now and I wanna stop….but what irritates me is that every time i try….i can stop for a some time then i eventually break
I am addicted to pornography for about 4.5 years from now………..I watch porn on daily basis and average i mastburtes twice a day regularly…….from all these years i am mastburting and watching porn regularly………Sometimes I mastburtes 10 times a day……..I have got really dull in my real life……….please please help me!
I really don’t want to spend my life like this.I will do every possible thing to get rid of it.
Hello, Jazzy – I’m sorry that you are struggling. So sorry. There are 6 steps in the article. Some are pretty drastic. Have you tried them? You have to really want to quit. Otherwise, you won’t beat this.
Chris
hey guys my name is marylyne iam also addicted to porn i try not opening the sites but i end up opening them it has really ruined my life please help me
Hi, Marylyne – I’m sorry that you’re struggling. What have you tried? The post lays out 6 essential steps. We find that if done, they often work. But, you have to really want to quit.
Chris
hi am Emma thank God I find this site today for the experience I have gotten From people concerning watching porn ,with God grace we can achieve it because I have been trying on my own to stop for weeks or month I will later see my self doing it. I need an advice on this bad habit . Thank you convenanteye. com
Hi, I’m sorry that you’re struggling. I truly am. What have you tried? The blog post lists a few critical steps to take.
To Dr.Doug Weiss, From India,26/10/2017(Tuesday)
Doctor,
I am only 13 years old. I have an extreme addiction to porn.It started when I was 8. My mind is forcing me for masterbation and seeing porn videos. I can’t even control myself. Now I started to get deceived from my studies and started bad behaviour. I feel so much wrong doing this things. How can I quit porn, Doctor Weiss?
Masturbation is normal! It feels good, and it’s a part of your whole self, which includes your sexuality. It’s private, but it’s not shameful. It shouldn’t take over your life, but it’s fine as a part of your healthy physical self.
Problems arise with masturbation, as with many other good things, when we use it as an unhealthy coping mechanism when we are overly stressed, upset, etc. We can all be vulnerable to using good things–food, wine, exercise, Netflix–to cope in unhealthy ways. Instead of feeling our feelings and processing through them, we substitute a behavior that feels good in the moment but didn’t actually solve the problem and may in fact produce more problems.
Unfortunately, there is huge shame around sexuality in Christian circles, and you might beging to recognize that the shame itself is part of the problem. In fact, at this point I suspect that your formula might start with shame itself, and as you feel distressed over shame from masturbation, you then masturbate to feel better in the moment.
You might like this short animation I made recently, Interruping Shame Cycles.
help! im 14 and have been on porn for 2 help.
Hi, Gideon – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. If you’re 14, then I’m sorry, but in all honesty, you’re probably not strong enough on your own to beat porn. You’ll need the help of other loving adults, controls on your devices, and awesome software, like Covenant Eyes, to help you stay clean. Can you do that? Whether you’re 14 or 40, most just aren’t strong enough to battle this issue on their own. Most all people who recover were successful because of a group of people that helped them! You can do this.
Chris
I watch porn all the time.I know it’s bad and I’m a Catholic.Should I get help for my addiction?
Do you want help? If you do, then get it! Simple as that!
Hi I’m 12 and I watch porn. It’s addicting and bad,but I can’t stop. Should I get help? Can it also affect my grades?
Hi, Ava – please see my response to your comment, which I hope was helpful. Here’s what it was:
Hi, Ava – thank you for being brave and sharing your struggle on this blog post. That’s tough. The blog post goes through 6 things that are essential for getting out of porn. At your age, my basic recommendation is to (1) tell me how you access porn and I can recommend a way to close that door, (2) tell one other person you trust about the issue. Here’s the truth – whether you’re 12, 22, or 82, you probably can’t really beat porn on your own. It usually takes a team. It’s a tough, tough addiction. That’s it – just 2 steps. That’s enough for now.
At age 12, I have a lot of hope for you to find a way to beat this! You have an amazing life in front of you. I worked over 10 years with kids in junior high just like you and there isn’t much that I love more than watching kids like you have an amazing life! We can do this. Please let me know what else you need.
Best, Chris
Hi I’m 12 and I watch porn. It’s addicting and bad,but I can’t stop. Should I get help? Can it also affect my grades? Will I get in bad trouble?!?
Hi, Ava – thank you for being brave and sharing your struggle on this blog post. That’s tough. The blog post goes through 6 things that are essential for getting out of porn. At your age, my basic recommendation is to (1) tell me how you access porn and I can recommend a way to close that door, (2) tell one other person you trust about the issue. Here’s the truth – whether you’re 12, 22, or 82, you probably can’t really beat porn on your own. It usually takes a team. It’s a tough, tough addiction. That’s it – just 2 steps. That’s enough for now.
At age 12, I have a lot of hope for you to find a way to beat this! You have an amazing life in front of you. I worked over 10 years with kids in junior high just like you and there isn’t much that I love more than watching kids like you have an amazing life! We can do this. Please let me know what else you need.
Best, Chris
I bless God for what he has been doing in my life. I didn’t masturbate throughout the last one month which has not happen for over 7years. Bless God. He is the way. Please if you still find yourself in these sinful act or any other unholy act, repent and turn away from your sins. Jesus Christ of Nazareth is the only way, the truth and the life… seek his face in prayers and fasting and he shall surely have mercy on you. Do not forget to be determined, All these has helped me.
I will tell you that when I was a young man my father was a preacher at a SMALL church. He had a horrendous negative childhood, his mother died when he was eleven and had to be raised by a father, my grandfather who was a total creep. He abused my father, and because of that my father became a monster to us kids and his wife as well. And this man kept “popular photograghy” mags in the bathroom of all places. As a 5th grader when I looked at some of these “NUDE” images and was confused. My peter erected just by looking at these “TAME” photos. My father deliberately refused to discuss the birds and the bees. Magazines is how I learned about sex, and would actually shake looking at these magazines at the book store back in the day when they were displayed on news stands. I got married hopefully to legally have sex with my wife. Well guess what after a few years of horrible sex, we went to a counselor and see says that she was TOUCHED by a boy at age ten, so for that reason I get NO sex and on top of that does not even touch me ever. Married for 30 years, she hasn’t had sex with me for 28 yrs. The only reason the bible gives for divorce is infidelity. If you live in a horrible marriage where not sex is aloud, how do I let my sexual desires just die, like he killed off her sex drive? My life is not worth living. My father rejected me. my wife has rejected me, I see NO GOOD IN ME AT ALL. and am almost convinced that God has abandoned me on account of my grievous sin. I see no reason for living
So I have let porn rule my life of 45 yrs. I am now 58 and this started when I was 13, I SEE NO WAY OUT EXCEPT SUICIDE,
Hello, Mark – I’m sorry you’re in such a desperate spot. Your childhood experience of being molested is devastating. I can sense how immensely difficult it must be to make sense of why this happened to you. Suicide is NOT the way out. Please hear me.
I’m not equipped to walk you through the healing of that wound, but there are therapists who can. Can you find one? I’m deeply concerned about your comments about suicide – here’s the truth…you have unmeasurable value! Your life is a precious gift and a blessing to this planet. Unique. Unrepeatable. Your past experience does not have to rule your present. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, promise me you’ll call this number (Suicide hotline): 1-800-273-8255. They also have a chat feature that always has someone there to respond.
God is for you! Mark, you can get through this, and it will be hard work, but it’s worth it. Remember the strength you have in Christ – Romans 8 can remind you (can you go read that right now?). The cross of Jesus Christ IS strong enough to overcome everything. Even this.
Peace, Chris
Hello, Mark – [this is the same response I typed before but I want to make sure you see it] I’m sorry you’re in such a desperate spot. Your childhood experience of being molested is devastating. I can sense how immensely difficult it must be to make sense of why this happened to you. Suicide is NOT the way out. Please hear me.
I’m not equipped to walk you through the healing of that wound, but there are therapists who can. Can you find one? I’m deeply concerned about your comments about suicide – here’s the truth…you have unmeasurable value! Your life is a precious gift and a blessing to this planet. Unique. Unrepeatable. Your past experience does not have to rule your present. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, promise me you’ll call this number (Suicide hotline): 1-800-273-8255. They also have a chat feature that always has someone there to respond.
God is for you! Mark, you can get through this, and it will be hard work, but it’s worth it. Remember the strength you have in Christ – Romans 8 can remind you (can you go read that right now?). The cross of Jesus Christ IS strong enough to overcome everything. Even this.
Peace, Chris
I was told I had to take anti-depressants by a doctor and my wife. Well I finally decided after 29 yrs of taking this medicine that thats it . It has ruined my personality. I cannot chuckle and laugh communicating with other humans including members of my church. Imagine if you ALMOST were unable to laugh about anything. Most normal humans could not carry on confronted with this inability to connect and have a conversation with another human, fake laughing MY LIFE IS NOT WORTH LIVING. My disposition and countenance Are so sad I cannot even SMILE. It is horrible to have to live this way. I must tell you that as a sixteen year old, I had a job but my dad was supposed to pick me up and give me a ride home. But he was so cruel he would not speak on the way home {4 mi) one night a customer offered to give me a ride home. This man it turned out was a child molester. he assaulted me and I have been bitter to my dad who died in 1991. He never even told me there were homos. So for since then I have tried to prove that I was Not homo by indulging in porno material ever since. The regard I feel for myself is so low, living life is a total misery to me.
To put it bluntly I must remain celibate for the rest of my life. My wife and her SUPPOSED reason she she has no interest in sex because a boy touched her when she was ten, 52 years ago. and that’s just tough, I have to put up with it. I know of NO MAN who would stay with a woman like this, be he CHRISTIAN or NON CHRISTIAN. She is not Christian, has been told of the gospel and rejected Christ. So according to my pastor I should stay with her so maybe she will come around. I made a serious error marrying her. I literally ruined my life. Again I implore complete celibacy is all I have to look forward to in this marriage I am in. And I have a lot of trouble praising God for this!
Wow. Your wife is a victim of sexual abuse. And you don’t seem to care much about the trauma she’s suffered, only about your own lack of sex.
That’s pretty amazing.
It sounds like you don’t care about her at all, and are only interested in what this relationship could do for yourself.
I wonder if that’s indicative of the rest of your relationship, outside of sexual relations? If so, that could be a real indicator as to why your wife isn’t interested in much of a relationship with you.
Thx Chris 4 helping me and I think ur advice was great. U r the best.
please i’m DAV,i’m 18 years and I in need your help over my porn addiction .please I need full support over my masturbation addiction because it cause injury to my penis and porn thoughts don’t wanna life leave me.Porn is affecting my life and academics because it doesn’t bring development in my life.it’s being 3 years I have being doing this.Please hell is real and I don’t want to miss the kingdom of God .please help my heart is in cruel hatred of porn.I need your help.
Hi, Dave – I replied to this same comment on a previous string, which I hope you’ve seen. If not, I’ve copied and pasted it here:
“Hi, Dave, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Can I ask some direct questions? When you look at the 6 items listed in the blog post, which have you tried? Have you gotten rid of your phone? Do you have accountability in your life? Have you made a clear and effective decision about this sin? You will not be able to break free unless you’re willing to do whatever it takes to break free. Counseling, dumb phone, whatever it takes! Are you willing to do that?”
please i’m DAV,i’m 18 years and I in need your help over my porn addiction .please I need full support over my masturbation addiction because it cause injury to my penis and porn thoughts don’t wanna life leave me.Porn is affecting my life and academics because it doesn’t bring development in my life.it’s being 3 years I have being doing this.Please hell is real and I don’t want to miss the kingdom of God .please help my heart is in cruel hatred of porn.I need your help.
Hi, Dave, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Can I ask some direct questions? When you look at the 6 items listed in the blog post, which have you tried? Have you gotten rid of your phone? Do you have accountability in your life? Have you made a clear and effective decision about this sin? You will not be able to break free unless you’re willing to do whatever it takes to break free. Counseling, dumb phone, whatever it takes! Are you willing to do that?
Chris
First of all we need to find what are the reason that make us and created problems for us for watching that bad videos that we call porn that destroyed the young life’s in every place this problem happens when you are alone and don’t do not see any person to told you the things you’re doing isn’t good To stop watching porn, you have to ignore it. Don’t say it’s last time I didn’t do it again and I’m not the best person to say this but, the only way that you will efficiently quit pornography is by having a relationship with You God . We can’t do this stuff on our own. When we have a true relationship with God these desires will come but with quran we can fight temptation.The last and only way for solving this issue is where and when anytime you want to watching this video you can go to YouTube and listen to Quran it’s solving your problem.
I’m 15 years old and i also have this problem of masturbating and watching pornography.I have had this problem for a year now and it seems impossible for me to stop .I have tried stoping by my self but to no vail.I really need to stop this habit because it has affected my life in so many ways most especially educationally and also my religious life.Please if there is a way for me to stop this behaviour of mine,please help me follow that way.
Hi, Kingsley – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. I can sense the real struggle in your post. The blog post here provides some clear steps you can take, and too often, people overlook the first one which is to actually make a clear and effective decision to stop. If you don’t do that, then you won’t get rid of the smartphone or device that you’re using. What are you willing to do? You won’t be able to quit unless you’re willing to “gouge out the eye” or “remove the arm” if that’s the problem.
Also, you probably need to admit that you can’t beat this. Seriously. You can’t! Not on your own strength. You’ve tried that, right? And each time, you try to convince yourself that you’re strong enough not to look the next time. Get open and honest with someone. Only a very, very small population of strugglers are able to decide on their own to quit, but it’s so rare.
God is for you! And, so am I.
Regards, Chris
I watch porn.I am a porn addicted.Im really sorry.hate myself because too many times I want to quit but I did it again.I hate the shame come after watching
Hi, Sara – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. I can sense the real struggle in your post. The blog post here provides some clear steps you can take, and too often, people overlook the first one which is to actually make a clear and effective decision to stop. If you don’t do that, then you won’t get rid of the smartphone or device that you’re using. What are you willing to do? You won’t be able to quit unless you’re willing to “gouge out the eye” or “remove the arm” if that’s the problem. God is for you and so am I!
Regards, Chris
I don’t know much but i know the “law of attraction” works. Whether you are thinking of watching porn or not, you are thinking about porn, so there is a very high chance of you watching porn, same applies to masturbation.
To a person that has done this for long it may be hard to resist the thought, since every sort of nudity triggers his/her mind to want to watch porn.
The solution could be to control your mind, James Allen (my favorite writer) said, “Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control.”. Albert Einstein’s theory to happiness: “A calm and modest life brings more happiness than ….“, Bruce lee also said: “Empty your mind, be formless, …..”.
I think if you want to quit so bad, wake up every morning write down(very important) a set of things your going to do throught the day make sure reading something life changing like a bible or book(personally love James Allen’s books) is among, then clear your mind and then program your mind to only do that which you have written down, do this for two months straight and believe me or not your life will change. Don’t let something small destroy your entire life, when you are meant for greatness. I guess none of you was born to masturbate your lives away, but something far greater. Commit and focus on your growth, force yourself if you must because this will determine your destiny. I think personal discipline is key to changing anything in life.
If you don’t program your mind, your mind will be programmed.
Best Wishes
hi my name is rabih and I’ve been a porn addict for as long as I can remember it really destroyed my social life and my acedemics I don’t have any friend or family members that will understand it and I was really hopinh for someone to help me and hear me out.
thank you.
Hi, Rabin – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Have you tried a forum where you might find others who will understand your situation? Nofap.com has a lot of forums, if that’s an alternative to finding someone to talk to.
Regards,
Chris
Hi. Was very happy to see other people who had the same problem as me. Well not happy but it gave me hope. I have decided to try to quit porn. I quit alcohol and pills . Dealt with addiction for years . But I don’t know what to do with this one .
Hi, Nate – well, this blog post has some great advice. People often glance over the first one in the list. Actually making a FIRM DECISION about this issue. You seriously have the power to overcome this. Make a clear and effective decision. Then, ask yourself, “am I willing to do whatever it takes to remove this issue from my life?” Dumb phone. Therapy. Accountability. Confession. WHATEVER IT TAKES. If the answer is no, and you don’t really want to quit, then you won’t. I hope the best for you!
Regards, Chris
I’m also a porn addict,I started masturbating at age 12 now I’ll be 14 soon but I’m still an addict, I’m trying but failing as well..I need advice
Hi, Mordecai – being open is good. Nice job. Please hear me on this – you are loved. There’s nothing wrong with you. And, you are not alone. I’ve been there and understand where you are.
It sounds like you want to do the right thing. So, here’s the issue – the choice is yours. No one can stop you from looking at porn. NO ONE! If you’re a Christian teenager, then it’s time to start believing that you’re a child of God. We were made for more. It’s time to be men. It’s time to love and respect the women around us AND on our screens. Even if they don’t respect themselves, WE have to decide to choose respect for them. This is on us. No more excuses. More than conquerors! Read Romans 8, all of it, to see what you were created to be. A warrior. Fearless. Of God. Untouchable. Unshakable. Settle for nothing less! Is your phone the issue? Then get rid of it. Do you struggle at night? Then no internet after 9pm. Do you masturbate? Then tell someone it’s a problem and admit when you’re struggling. How badly do you want this? You have to want it.
Let me be lovingly honest with you – you can’t do this alone. 1-on-1 with technology, whether you’re 14 or 43 (like me), you will eventually lose. The Internet will wear you down. It is a heat-seeking missile for our weaknesses.
I have faith in you. God is rooting for you! And, I am, too.
Peace, Chris
Hi I got addicted to porn when I was, around 16 and it effected my academic so I decide to quit porn and I left porn for about an year and got good A in my class 10 but I don’t know I am again addicted to porn and I am not able to focus properly on academics and work. I love to study but not able to focus those annoying thought come to me plz anyone help me
Hi Amar, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. Can I ask some direct questions? When you look at the 6 items listed in the blog post, which have you tried? Have you gotten rid of your phone? Do you have accountability in your life? Have you made a clear and effective decision about this sin? You will not be able to break free unless you’re willing to do whatever it takes to break free. Counseling, dumb phone, whatever it takes! Are you willing to do that?
Listen – you quit once and you will quit again. Fall down seven times, but get up eight times. Right?
God is for you! You can do this! But, you have to be willing to “pluck out your eye” before God can really help you. It’s your choice.
Chris
I’m 16 and want to quit watching porn. It’s making me miserable. One minute I want to and another it looks disgusting to me. And I even tell anyone.
Hello, Grace – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. When you read the list of activities in the blog post, have you tried these? Have you actually gotten rid of the problematic devices? What about Accountability? Just telling anyone isn’t quite the same as really wanting to quit, closing the doors to porn, and doing whatever it takes to live porn-free. I wish you the very best.
Chris
Hey, my name is Gavin hrdlichka, I turn 15 next week, and that marks my 4.5th year of using porn. It is exteamly painful looking back that far. I need real help. My parent have blocked just about every possible way for Internet at my house, for a good reason, but I always find a way to access something bad, I am a good hacker btw, but not for a good purpose. I would consider myself to be a smart person and a semi mature teen, my parents did good on raising. Some personal aspects are that I am really tall, thin, but am starting to body build to keep the guilt of porn off my shoulders. And I go to a college high school called cecfc. Every one likes my, but when it comes to relationships, I feel lonely and scared. When this one girl and I were ‘dating’ I felt full and for the whole time I never used porn or master bated, not even real sex. I felt like an honorable guy for like 4 months! But when things started to crumble, due to me being oblivious to like every thing ( I have add), I lost it, like real bad. I would search for every possible jpg, MP4, vid or connection to images possible! I am so done with this shit, really! I am Christian, but I am working on a better foundation with a new church. I have tried to find people to help, and for accountability, but I can’t find anyone right. I am a broken guy right now. I need a better new year, 2018.
Please help. Please 😭😔
Hi Gavin,
I’m a counselor and a mom, and your letter here just breaks my heart for you. I think it’s really normal to feel scared about relationships, and I think you’re so wise to recognize this in yourself. I also appreciate that you’re able to recognize how your body image impacts you as well. Seeing how the pain of your breakup contributed to an upswing in porn use is really wise as well. These are great insights for someone so young, and I think this kind of insight will serve you well in the future. When we allow ourselves to feel how we feel, and to recognize the truth about ourselves, then we can make better choices about what to do with those feelings. I think “accountability” is good IF IF IF it really helps us address the PAIN that drives the behavior. If you can find a person or two who can dive into the pain with you and help you feel connected and not so lonely and scared, I think that might be a real help to you. I don’t know if your dad might be able to do that? Or a good friend? Maybe even a counselor, if your parents would be willing to help with that? I think you need someone you can be really honest with about your emotional life, because I think you can see that the porn use is really a symptom of the pain. It’s fine to treat the symptoms, but getting at the root of the problem–loneliness, fear, pain, lack of connection–that will be really useful to your long-term healing. Peace to you, Kay
I have read a lot of comments here but I can categorically submit that no one here is as addicted as I am. Though I was masturbating without porn before, I started masturbating in 1999 when one of our neighbors thought me how to. ( Till today I still course that day and that guy.) I was only eleven then. Thereafter he told me how pleasurable it was and propelled me to do it. That was the day my sinking hole was dogged.
I continued masturbating without porn then until around 2006. That was when I graduated from high school. How it degenerates into porn I cannot tell. Initially, I was buying porn CDs and DVDs knowing that internet porn is expensive but, with the advent of free uncountable internet porn sites I sank deeper in that hole. I could spend all night watching porn. This has been happening for over 10 years.
I have read a lot of books but still no avail, I only quit for about two to six months initially but these days after three to seven days I am back to it. Being a computer expert I know how I can recover my deleted porn videos on my computer, on my smartphone I even know how I can hide it from anyone.
I have promised never to watch porn over 1000 times but I am still in it. I can hardly tell you 5 of the name of celebrities in normal movies but I can list you over 60 names of pornstars.
Because of this deep addiction, I sometimes feel suicidal intent. This addiction is affecting my life greatly in the sense that I am supposed to be much more than where I am in every area of my life. My relationship is in shamble, I see women like a piece of trash, I am hollow within. I have been hurting my wife emotionally since we got married I cannot even command her respect for I am no longer man enough for what sort of a man will not make love to his wife for more than six months. I prefer to masturbate to porn other than to have sex with my wife. I am a living dead and I know it. I wish to stop it but I cannot. Porn is just too powerful.
Please, Covenant Eye please do all you can to help me out of this hole for I have hit the bottom. All I need now is help, help, and help. And I will forever be grateful.
You were a victim of child sexual abuse. It’s very common for victims to reenact the abuse they have suffered, and it sounds to me like this is what’s been happening for you. Pleace find a therapist who can help you process the trauma you suffered in childhood.
Peace to you,
Kay
You might feel like you are the only one that is as much addicted as you are, but I will promise you that regardless of the replies here that you are not. Except for the first part in your story I recognize each single part of it in my own life.
We all get addicted one way or the other, at the end they are all the same. The devil has his sophisticated way to get everyone in his path.
I recognize all the bad aspects of a porn addiction, I have no doubt it’s destroying my life, that it is blocking true potential, but it is sooooo hard to find strength. So hard, so hard! No one here will deny that I suppose.
I really wonder from time to time what it is that we need to stop. How far do we allow our lives to be destroyed until we realize it is enough. How far for real? How much do we allow the devil to take away from us? And why?
I know the feeling of being free, but not ‘truly’ free. I simply do not have the strength yet. I want to though…I really do!
I keep trying time after time and I will certainly not give up. It’s a rotten root that has grown to deep inside of us, physically and mentally!
I will try to pray for all of us, including myself, to be able to step in the Light and stay in the Light!
Gavin, God LOVES you and he will never leave you or forsake you, that is his Word and promise to all. He loves us right in the struggle of our sin, whatever it is. 2 Corinthians 12: 9 about Paul’s “thorn in the flesh”.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me”.
In my own struggles, I have found that to be true, Jesus is our GRACE, and His power is made perfect in our weaknesses. Gavin, you run to Jesus in prayer, cry out to Him, tell him what you want HIM to do for you. He knows your struggle before you ask. He created you and He alone can heal you and your hurt. You have 3 strong powers in Christ Jesus, HIS NAME, HIS BLOOD, and HIS WORD, learn of them and use them. Come against temptation by using God’s Word, when ungodly thoughts begin, I will quote 2 Corinthians 10:5, “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”
Ephesians 6:12 says, For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. God used the Word to defeat satan and you also can use His Word to defeat him against struggles.
I PRAISE God for the Power of His Word. Books are great, counselors are great, but Jesus is greater than all and He does use people to help us sometimes. Be encouraged today Gavin, Jesus has won our victory in every temptation and struggle and you are not alone.
God Bless you!
I’ve been off and on on porn for a long time. sometimes, I stop watching it for more than a month before some silly event happened at work or home then I go back to it. now I feel like I won’t be able to get out of it even though I’ve been praying to Jesus Christ for help. at a time in my life Jesus is all that matter’s but now I can’t even focus on Him or my study . reading the Bible become hard and boring. if you can help please message me at adewumioluwamayowamoses@gmail.com
Hello, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. What have you tried? The blog post provides some essential steps for breaking free but before I offer my thoughts, it would help to know what has or has not worked. God is for you! You can’t do this alone.
Chris
I’m 34 and I’ve been beatin’ this sumbitch everyday since I was 15. Almost 20 years. I do want to quit. HELP!
Hello, what have you tried from the blog post? There are 6 things listed. One must be willing to do anything to quit or it will keep coming back.
Chris
hello everyone. iam Amin, Nigerian. i’ve been addicted to porn given my years of watching, although i’ve been trying to quit since the last 5 years but annoyingly, i usually find myself browsing, watching and downloading this ugly stuff. i’ve tried different methods but all to no avail. while marriage may solve the problem to a large extent, does it means that one can never stop once one start? need answers please……
Hello, I’m a 16 years old boy and it’s 3 years that I have addicted to masturbating and watching porn. It is a big sin in my religion and every time I promise my god to don’t repeat it again but after a few days I repeat. I’m really losing my hope. may god forgive me? I don’t have any magazines and downloaded videos so the house is clean. I really need to quit that damn thing. please help.
Masturbation is normal! It feels good, and it’s a part of your whole self, which includes your sexuality. It’s private, but it’s not shameful. It shouldn’t take over your life, but it’s fine as a part of your healthy physical self.
Problems arise with masturbation, as with many other good things, when we use it as an unhealthy coping mechanism when we are overly stressed, upset, etc. We can all be vulnerable to using good things–food, wine, exercise, Netflix–to cope in unhealthy ways. Instead of feeling our feelings and processing through them, we substitute a behavior that feels good in the moment but didn’t actually solve the problem and may in fact produce more problems.
Unfortunately, there is huge shame around sexuality in some religious contexts. Often, shame itself becomes the problem, as you feel distressed over shame from masturbation, you then masturbate to feel better in the moment.
You might like this short animation I made recently, Interruping Shame Cycles.
I am 15 years old and while I don’t watch porn very regularly, I watch it quite often. Even when I am not watching it, I keep thinking about it at unwanted times. I have touched myself while watching it but have never masturbated and orgasmed. I want to lead a pure life free of porn and sexual immorality, as it distances me from God. I have tried website filters and cleaning the house of porn, but I can’t seem to control myself even though I want to. I am very embarrassed and ashamed of this habit so I can’t bring myself to discuss it with anyone either. Please help me.
Hello, Savli – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. But, I believe you will continue to struggle if you try to battle this alone. Just look back on your life and your attempts! How many times has it been! Find someone to talk to. I’m telling you that it’s the only way.
Chris
I’m 15 and in 10th grade and I’ve been addicted to porn and masturbation for three years now. I stopped for almost a year but then I started up again. I want to stop but I keep falling to the desire to do it. It’s affected me academically, spiritually, emotionally. I’ve told myself I don’t want to get in a relationship until I quit but I can’t seem to fight the desire. I really, really do want to quit but I haven’t seem to do it alone and feel like I’m getting more and more distant from the Lord and it truthfully worries me a lot. I’m losing my way and it scares me.
Hi, Noah – I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. You said something really important at the end of your comment, “I haven’t seemed to [be able] to do it alone…” And, you’re absolutely right. One on one with porn you’re going to keep losing. So, this might lead you to some terrifying questions, but who can you tell? What are you willing to do to break free? Get rid of your phone? Let’s be honest…you don’t need it. Your soul isn’t worth it, right? Big questions, but if you’re brave enough to post your comment here, then I’m confident that you’re brave enough to take hard steps and invite the power of Accountability and the Cross into this issue. You’re going to be ok. But, it requires action – today!
Chris
i have been an porn addict from nearly 3to4 years and it is very difficult to leave the habbit . whenever i try not to watch porn it always fails I am getting faded up now … as i am INDIA I am not able to communicate my problem with anybody of them . I have very hopes on your website . sorry but I cant name myself…. THANKS
Hello, friend. I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. The blog post lays out some solid steps you can take, including removing access to the devices causing the problem. At the end, it really comes down to how badly do you want to quit? The choice is yours and I truly believe that you have more power here than you are giving yourself credit for.
Chris
I am a married man, I love my wife, she is my life! I am 28 and it is about 12 years I watch porn and more than 1 year that I do sex chat which is worse than watching porn. I want with all f my heart to stop it. I am a PhD students in one of the best universities in the world. It affects my life and studies. I can do what others do by spending half time so I still could make it. I feel bad for myself. Except from that I am a nice person, I think. BUT it is really destroying me now! I wanna quit and I quit. I wanna keep connection to somebody here.
Hello, friend. I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. The blog post lays out some solid steps you can take, including removing access to the devices causing the problem. At the end, it really comes down to how badly do you want to quit? The choice is yours and I truly believe that you have more power here than you are giving yourself credit for. And, I need to ask you to stop the sex chat now. Your wife is worth it! You know this. It’s time to get serious and start fresh.
Chris
Hi Arash, my story is like yours. And I would like to support each other, as I am married and PhD student too. And sex chat and adult dating site surfing is ruining my studies, personal life, future prsopects. I think we two can become 1+1=11 by supporting each other. If you are interested get in touch on my emai drrajesh sahu79@gmail.com.
Take care and regards
Rajesh
I am 64 years old , I enjoy being nude around the house it feels good to be nude. I have been naked around the house for about 7 years. I stared looking at porn about 1 pe 2 years ago. It feels good to masturbate for my wife does not like sex any Mor and has not for at lest 15 years now so I do not get to have any sex so I masturbata. I helps to stay hard by watching porn but I am begging to dis like porn. What I want is to feel it myself again and that is why I started to look at porn. I do not buy porn or pay for porn I find it on the internet. I need to stop looking at porn for it make me feel ashamed .
I have a porn addiction since the 5th grade. I’m 20 years old now. It makes me feel like crap to confess something as bad as that. It’s an endless cycle I can’t get out of. I would often think about it, but wouldn’t do it because I would regret exploiting explicit content for my own personal gain. Eventually I would go and do it, leaving me full of depression, sorrow, and anger because I told myself not to do it but I do it anyway. It makes me sick, disappointed, and ashamed of myself that I would do such vile things. It makes it harder for me to talk this over with somebody especially women because I’m afraid they would either resent me, reject me, or disregard me forever. Hell, I can’t even talk about this with my therapist because not only have I known her for such a long time, but she’s also a female, which makes me hold this back for a long period of time. It’s a decision that I will always regret making for the rest of my life…
Hey Kevin,
It sounds to me like shame is the major problem you’re battling these days.
And it sounds to me like you’re resenting, rejecting, and disregarding yourself first of all, so that makes you believe that others will do the same.
This problem started for you when you were a CHILD. And honestly, at 20 years old, you’re still kind of a kid in my book. (My kids are your age.) It sounds to me like you weren’t protected from explicit content like you should have been as kid, and that you haven’t been supported through adolescence like you needed.
Please have some compassion for a very young person (YOU) who’s struggled with something pretty major without support or help.
And then please talk to your therapist about this. I’m a therapist, and here’s a secret: nothing shocks us. This is FAR FAR FAR from the worst thing we’ve ever heard.
I kind of hate to burst your bubble about how awful you are, but longt-term porn use is NORMAL and COMMON these days. Maybe it’s not healthy, but it’s just totally run-of-the-mill. This is a completely normal and SOLVEABLE problem. Talk to your therapist and get started. You’ll see.
Talk to your therapist. Be kind to yourself. You’re a good kid. Start believing it and living it, and have a good healthy life of peace and freedom.
Peace to you,
Kay
I HV the same problem please let’s be friends so that we can end this word of porn addiction. am 19 yr old
Am 15 years old i always stop porn for a month then begin again i need help in stopping to watch it if anyone out there can help me please do i need HELP!!!!!
Hello, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. When you’re a young person, it can feel so lonely. But, that’s where porn does so much damage – when we’re all alone. Which is why it’s so important to listen to the advice in the blog post and get really serious about breaking free. Get rid of the phone if needed! Tell someone all about your problem! Otherwise, it’s just your will power and eventually, that will wear down. I truly hope you’re able to find someone you can trust to talk to and start using something like Covenant Eyes to help.
All the best,
Chris
A friend of mine recently told me that he has been struggling with a pornography addiction and I wanted to do some research to see if there was any way I could help him. I really liked the advice to not only get rid of the pornography, but to stop it from coming in. I am going to recommend that my friend downloads a pornography blocker and hopefully he can make the right steps towards recovery.
I watched porn since I was 12, and start masterbatiin since I was 14 .
It ruined my life .. I lost interest in my girlfriend…. I had sex with prostitute , I became sex-addicted. And I masterbated everyday , in fact many time a day . I go to work without energy , feel sleepy everyday .i had many argument with my gf and at some point I was about to break up with her because I have no interest in having sex with her anymore. I wanted something more exciting , I want to have sex with different girls evernight. I feel bad to myself , I made my gf suffered for 7 years. I am about to proposed marriage. I want a better me. I want to change ! Thanks for good article. I will do it, I will stop watching porn
Hi, Ian – I applaud your effort. But, unless you’re really serious, nothing is going to change. Get rid of your device. Get someone you talk to or a 12-step program. Go to an addiction recovery program for a while. There are wounds in your sexual life that you should NOT take into marriage without serious therapy. Long before you get married. You’re not ready. Don’t go there. Marriage can be amazing. But, not with what you have going on. I’m sorry if this is hard to hear but I care enough about you, your future wife, and the beauty of marriage to be really honest.
Regards,
Chris
hi am lubemba lugwalo zambian am also with this habit and i would love to stop it because it gets me sick gives me headache every time am left alone i think of doing it and if i dont i will get this headache until i do it please help me out my whtsap line +260966926829 anyone
Hi, Lubemba – I can’t help you through WhatsApp, but the blog post gives you 6 specific steps to take and I wonder if you’ve taken any of them? The first steps are yours.
Chris
I also need someone to walk with through this…
Hi, can you please be more specific? There are 6 steps on the post – have you tried any of them or do you need any clarification?
Chris
I also 15 now and get addict from when i was 13. I want to quit bus whenever i frustate i cant stop myself from watching porn . And there is number of reason for what i want to quit it but i cant ….
I truly need afriend who help me to get out of this
plese somebody help me…???
Hi – being open is good. Nice job. Now, I’m going to ask your permission to be direct. It sounds like you can handle it.
It sounds like you want to do the right thing. So, here’s the issue – the choice is yours. No one can stop you from looking at porn. NO ONE! If you’re a Christian teenager, then it’s time to start believing that you’re a child of God. I’m being very direct, but I think we tend to take a too gentle approach with guys and watching porn. NO! We were made for more. It’s time to be men. It’s time to love and respect the women around us AND on our screens. Even if they don’t respect themselves, WE have to decide to choose respect for them. This is on us. No more excuses. More than conquerors! Read Romans 8, all of it, to see what you were created to be. A warrior. Fearless. Of God. Untouchable. Unshakable. Settle for nothing less! Is your phone the issue? Then get rid of it. Do you struggle at night? Then no internet after 9pm. How badly do you want this? You have to want it. You have to want freedom INSIDE and do things that prove you want it on the OUTSIDE.
I have faith in you. God is rooting for you! And, I am, too.
Peace, Chris
Hmmmm am 25 years and i’ve been watching porn on internet and masturbating for more than 6 years. Am a christian,who believes and have been baptised to the christiandom but yet still i find it VERY DIFFICULT to quit. Please am now ashamed of myself in this demonic act,so please daddy help me out. Because its worrying and killing me soul !
Hi, Dear PIC,
I am 29 years old now, I start Masturbate since 12 years old until age of 16 years old, I watch Pron internet for the Masturbation, I thought It just a normal for guy, but since last year, I read online and watch YouTube there were so famous of Benefits of NoFap, I read the article only realize that Pron Masturbation is an ADDICTION like a Drug. I try to stop it from Pron and Masturbate, but the longest I did was just 1 week, then I relapse again. I once got a gf before,Now I still always masturbate by imagine my ex gf and hv a sex with her.. What the shit..When I am together with her, I still have watch the Pron, but I don’t know it’s so serious, we have sex until she asked me, why you always want to have Sex? I did not answer her that time but I just want to have Sex with her until Someday she reluctant to have Sex with me.
Then I watch more Pron regulary to satisfy my need, sometime can up to 5 hrs the longest in the Pron Website, keep on browsing the new Pron Video.
The most times I Masturbated in a day was 7 times, that day really so black, Whole Day I feeling sleepy, even don’t have motivation to get my meals, but slept most of the day.
.It was really so affected me within this few years, My job as a salesperson, I cannot breakthrough my GOAL, lack of motivation, fear to meet with People, lack of social and so many things that affected my life. I have a lots of big dreams, but the problem is I cannot achieve my dreams by reach my Goal, already few years, year by year had gone, I still remain the same of me, feeling so tired, bored, Life just like passing a day to waiting for Die.
I am a Buddhist, I try to find a solution now, I read above so many left their comments, some few years and a few months, but I had Masturbate for so many years, I try to avoid myself to watch it and get rid of Masturbation, but after few days, I get a very big urge for Masturbate by imagine having a sex with my ex gf… What the shit…
Please help me…
Hello, I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. First, your experience is consistent with others. Have you ever seen the movie Oblivion? Those machines that tell the remaining humans a lie and then suck the life out of the planet? Porn sucks the life out of those it infects. It tells a lot of great lies about satisfaction, love, intimacy. All false. It is a jealous issue. It won’t share your time, attention, life, desires, dreams, goals or future with anything else. It wants it all. You were made for MORE. Your life isn’t over yet. So, here I am, standing by your side, encouraging you to look at this list of 6 things in this blog post and now DO something. You have more power and ability than you think. Porn wants you to feel powerless. B.S. You can beat this, but it won’t be easy and it will probably get worse before it gets better. So, you’ll need friends who can pick you up and give you pep talks like this.
I wish you the best. Please have hope. Others have come through this. The path to freedom is strewn with casualties, but there are those who stand at the end, and all along the path, rooting for you.
Chris
it’s very good advice I just want to say thank you.
Very impressive and helpful stuff, Thanks for sharing.
Porn and masturbation works together. Porn stimulates masturbation. One of the reason why we engage in porn is due frustration. It takes God intervention to break free from it. May God help us all.
It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d without a doubt donate
to this outstanding blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS
feed to my Google account. I look forward to new updates and will talk about this blog with my Facebook group.
Talk soon!
Hi Judi!
So glad to hear that you have enjoyed reading our blog! Keep on the lookout for new weekly posts!
Blessings,
Moriah
I am into relationship with my female partner but porn video and masturbation is taking me out of point, I need a very serious help.
Hi friend,
Thank you for stepping forward and asking for help! That is certainly not an easy thing to do.
Do you have a trusted friend whom you can share your struggles with? At Covenant Eyes, we strongly encourage accountability. Our software provides this on a technology level, but we also encourage strugglers to turn to someone they trust for help. This could be a relative, friend, church leader, partner, etc. It will not be an easy journey, but if you are committed to defeating your addiction, you WILL be able to overcome porn! It’s never too late.
Blessings,
Moriah
I need a friend to help me out of watching porn.
Hi friend,
First, I want to thank you for admitting that you need help! That is the first step towards recovery! If you don’t have a friend that you can trust to hold you accountable, I’d like to recommend a church leader, relative, spouse, or co-worker. I guess what I’m saying is that you have anyone whom you trust to be your ally and help you use Covenant Eyes, ask them for help! This is a battle that you cannot fight alone.
Blessings,
Moriah
Alright
Anybody here, please I need help
I’ve been looking/watching porn since I was tender and recently I found myself masturbating
I’m tired, to be honest, but whenever I try stopping it after two days, boom I see myself going back to it.
I’m tired.
Anyone here? I need help please 🙏 🙏
Caterlyst,
You are not alone in this fight! If anything, this blog and the thousands of comments that have been posted are proof that others struggle with pornography addiction. So, do not give up hope! If you have a friend, relative, church leader, or really anyone whom you can trust, ask them to hold you accountable and be an ally in your fight to end this addiction. Also, I would highly recommend that you download Covenant Eyes and start using it to be accountable to your technology usage. An ally will be able to help you with this as well!
Blessings,
Moriah
Praise God to Holy Heaven, I have been delivered from a lifetime of porn addiction! I am also an alcoholic, 23 years sober, and my deliverance from porn is more amazing to me than my delivery from alcoholism. I showed God that I was willing to be free by keeping current on my porn usage with my priest at church, coming to confession week after week, and he told me, “Don’t feel bad, there are many, many men coming to me with this problem.” I was in my 8th relationship since my divorce in 1992, and hoped that this lady would be “the one,” and someday be my wife. But God just set me up for release from my addiction. She broke up with me, and this brought me to my knees. I have been on them ever since, making time to spend with God every single day without fail. The minute she broke up with me, (she didn’t know about my porn addiction) I knew what it was about as far as God was concerned: the porn addiction. And amazingly, miraculously, the intense emotional pain I felt over this breakup snapped the porn addiction and I have been free ever since. It has also broken me free from “relationship addiction,” and now I do NOT have to have a girlfriend in order to “be Ok” in this world. My primary relationship is with God, and if he wants to bring me someone else someday, fine, Ok with me. But if he does not, that’s Ok too. I am delivered from a host of demons, and so very thankful. I hope this note will be read by guys who are in the throws if this addiction and it will be helpful to them. Thanks to God!
This is Sam again, just wanted to add: By the way I am NOT resisting temptation to look at porn. The temptation has been completely lifted, I feel no urge whatsoever, so that knawing urge that oppressed me for so long has been taken completely away. I want guys out there to have hope that they can be set free as I have been. When I think that I have not had the slightest urge to look at porn for the past 4 and a half years, I am absolutely amazed!
Sam,
Wow! Thank you for sharing your story. Praise God that he has freed you from the grasp of addiction and brought you closer to Him. May you continue to fight the good fight and cling to God as your only source of contentment.
Blessings,
Moriah
I am also addicted to porn but I don’t know how to quit anytime I watch it I get wet an I ask for forgiveness but after 2weeks I find my self in it again
pls I need help on how to stop it finally
Jerry,
I want to commend you for reaching out and asking for help! This is no easy thing to do, but you are acknowledging your struggles and humbly admitting your need for recovery. Praise God for that!
If you have anyone in your life whom you can trust (a spouse, friend, relative, mentor, counselor, church leader), I would first encourage you to share your struggles with them and ask them to hold you accountable in this path towards recovery. I would also recommend that you download Covenant Eyes onto all of your technology devices. This software will capture and monitor your device activity, including any porn that you are watching. It will report this activity to an ally you have chosen. Through this form of accountability, you can work to overcome this addiction.
And ultimately, turn to God in repentance and ask him to change your heart. He is our Healer!
Blessings,
Moriah
I dont watch porn during working days but out of nowhere during weekends i just simply start watching porn and really I feel bad from inside and guilty that I cannot go more than 5 days. I dont know what to do ?
Hi friend!
Are you using Covenant Eyes? Our Screen Accountability software monitors your computer, phone, laptop, etc. and holds you accountable to what you are watching both online and offline. This has been an excellent tool to help SO many people overcome their addiction to pornography.
Blessings,
Moriah
I was sexually molested when I was little, since then I’ve been addicted to watching porn, now am 26. . Although I pray against it when I go to church and even at home.. But some times the urge keeps coming back… Please what can I do to stop it permanently
Hey Joseph,
I’m a therapist, and in my opinion, you probably need trauma-informed therapy to help heal the wounds of the past so that you can make healthier choices in the present. I’ll give you a link to the Psychology Today therapist finder, where you can search via your zip code, and then filter your local search for therapists using a trauma-informed approach.
I hope that helps, Kay
I am so closed to everybody but still, I feel this loneliness inside me. I gave my life to Christ and became committed. I hated porn cuz I was a victim of it. Few months passed I thought I had breakthrough, but here I am still eating from my vomits I want my Jesus back.. I can’t even pray. I feel so guilty. Please what can I do to stop this completely.
Stevenson,
Many of those addicted to porn feel immense shame and guilt. This is normal! However, like all sin, porn is something that we CAN overcome by the power of God. I would encourage you to first turn to God and pray. Ask him for the strength and heart to overcome this addiction. Secondly, turn to others for accountability. Whether it be a church leader, friend, relative, counselor, etc. Thirdly, use Covenant Eyes! Our Screen Accountability will help you to stay accountable to both your online AND offline activity. It’s an incredible tool that has helped so many people in their recovery plan.
Blessings to you, friend!
Moriah
A nice article. If you’re probably like me, then you’ve been reading lots of articles and fighting your addiction for a while.
I found this https://www.amazon.com/ADDICTED-YOUR-BRAINS-DOPAMINE-PORNOGRAPHY-ebook/dp/B084C37ZMV/ref=sr_1_29?keywords=quit+porn&qid=1580583047&s=digital-text&sr=1-29
And now I’m free.
I need help to stop watching online porn
Hi Danny,
Thank you for your honesty. It is commendable—truly! Are you using Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability? If not, I would highly recommend that you start there. I would also encourage you to find a trusted friend or mentor to help keep you accountable. We certainly cannot fight addiction alone, which is why accountability is such a huge part of our work here at Covenant Eyes.
And, pray! Ask God for wisdom and strength to fight off temptation.
Blessings!
Moriah
For anyone under the yoke, never thought you can fight alone. You have to seek help. Discuss with someone you trust and you know he/she have the capacity to help. Until you are delivered, you are not free. Thanks for the post.
Yes me too ,I have try different ways to stop watching porn but I can’t, plz who can help me out please
Hi David,
First, pray! Ask God to guide you towards freedom. Then, reach out to others for accountability. This can be a friend, relative, church leader, mentor—anyone whom you trust to walk with you and live with integrity. Finally, if you’re not using Covenant Eyes, use it! You and your ally (accountability partner) can even use it together.
Ultimately, cling to Chris as you seek freedom. I am praying for you!
Moriah
Hello am tabby I’m really addicted to pornography and this was triggered when I was undergoing a very mild depression after my mum passed away. Am still a teenager i really need help. I will appreciate if I find a friend who can help me though this struggle. I really need counseling.
Tabby,
Thank you for reaching out! I commend you for your honesty and desire to change. If you are struggling to find a friend to help you through this struggle, I want to encourage you to start with prayer! Ask God for wisdom and strength to help you walk the road of recovery, whether it’s on your own or with a friend. If you are able, counseling is also an excellent next step, in addition to using Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability.
I am praying for you!
Moriah
i really appreciate moriah for your advice and i believe in God that He is going to help me out through this struggle
Hi i am miracle, am really struggling with porn addiction.i first started watching porn since 2011 and through all those while i haven’t looked back. the more i tried to persuade myself to quit it and stay farther away from it,the most it seems very complicating for me to overcome it.i have tried all in my effort and even prayed and begged God.please i really need your help on this because it been acfecting my mind, not to concentrate and also forget things easily at work and at home.
Miracle,
Please be encouraged to know that you are not alone in this. Overcoming addiction is not easy for anyone. Keep clinging to God for strength and hope. I also want to encourage you to reach out to a friend, leader, or mentor who can walk alongside you in this and pray for you! On our own, overcoming sin is incredibly difficult, so it is important to have an ally.
I am praying for you! Keep fighting, friend.
Blessings,
Moriah
Hello
I am a girl and in my early twenties
I just discovered this article today
The truth is, I have been addicted to porn for about 7 years now, and for these 7 years I’ve been trying to quit watching porn but i have been unable to stop……i have really cried to God countless number of times to forgive me
I even doubt if God can ever forgive…….I feel like I’ve exceeded my limit, i feel like I have taken his mercy for granted…..i always feel terrible anytime I watch it but i can’t control that urge anytime it comes……..I feel like I am really far from my lord.
Anytime I go to church or even pray i feel like I am not worthy to do so, it looks like I have lost that chance
I really feel guilty. Anytime i want to talk to someone about it i feel they are not trustworthy, like they are going to mock me
I am fed up i don’t know what to do anymore.
But this time around i really want to quit
Bright,
1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Note that it does not say that there is a limit to God’s forgiveness! We are all sinners, and we will need God’s forgiveness until we take our last breath someday. So, you want to quit porn. Keep praying and asking God for the strength to turn from porn and rely on God as your ultimate source of joy and satisfaction.
I would also encourage you to talk to someone about your struggles! We all sin; do not feel ashamed to step forward and ask for someone to walk alongside you and pray for you.
I am praying for you!
Blessings,
Moriah
I totally understand your pain 😭😭 but so far im doing good I stop like 2 weeks and it’s be working really I’m a girl too btw
Laura,
Two weeks is amazing! Overcoming addiction is not easy, and I am so encouraged to hear that you have been free for 2 weeks! Keep fighting!
Blessings,
Moriah
Hey
Am a guy I just turned 17
And am addicted to pornography
WOW CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST SAID THAT
but to be honest am sick and tired of it I want to stop but don’t know how to. I just woke up God has countlessly showed me his love. I just can’t keep betraying him. PLEASE I NEED HELP AND GUIDANCE.
the addiction is over 6 years and am sick of it PLEASE HELP
Eghe,
Praise God that you desire to be free from this addiction! For many, admitting to this struggle seems impossible, but you have done just that! I commend you.
Do you have a close friend, mentor, or church leader whom you can reach out to and ask for prayer and accountability? Overcoming any addiction is incredibly difficult to do on your own. But, having an ally to check in on you daily and ask how you are doing (and, pray for you!) makes a huge difference. You can also use Screen Accountability with them, which will hold you accountable do what you do online.
I would also encourage you to look into recovery groups! Check out Pure Desire for current groups that you can join online. Above all, be fervent in prayer and Scripture! Cling to God in times of weakness and strength! You CAN overcome this.
Praying for you!
Moriah
I also have this problem of quiting, only to return it. Any help? Please, i’m afraid of the effect. I’m in need of new options.
Hi friend,
Thank you for reaching out and asking for help. Are you using Covenant Eyes Screen Accountability? If not, I highly recommend that you find an ally (a trusted friend) who can use this software with you and hold you accountable.
I would also encourage you to look into joining an online recovery group! Pure Desire has some great options. Ultimately, cling to God as you seek recovery. He is the Master Healer, and in him we find ultimate freedom!
Blessings,
Moriah
Hi,
after reading the comments I feel determined to stop. I started masturbating at the young age of 12 and watching porn at 17 . I wasn’t serious on quitting and didn’t know it was an addiction until I tried to stop. Am 22 now and still struggling. I have tried to stop several times can go weeks and even months without watching porn but then the urge become so strong I eventually give in. I have also tried installing an anti porn app and praying about it and for a while I find the strength to overcome it but not for long. I seriously need help, this addiction makes me depressed and is affecting my goals and my relationship with God. I feel so ashamed to talk about it with someone, and afraid of being judged. Any advice or suggestions on how to defeat this add would be extremely helpful , God bless you .
Hi Tina,
Thank you for your honesty! Expressing your desire to be free is the first step towards recovery! I know that it can be scary to talk about your addiction with someone else, but doing so will lift a huge weight off of your shoulders! Do you have a close friend or mentor whom you can talk to?
Remember, you are not alone in this. Addictions can make us feel like we are the only ones struggling, but in reality, that could not be farther from the truth. We all struggle with sin, and we need to have that human accountability. If you do decide to talk to someone about this, I would encourage you to read this article first!
Blessings,
Moriah
Indeed this quite impressive. Leaving and overcoming the addiction of pornography is not only a physical effort but equally spiritual.
This article really delves deep and provides really good information.
I just want to say a big thank you for putting time and effort in publishing this.
God bless you.
Am so young but am now siriously addicted to sex but please if you are in the same problem this is what you have to do pick up a photo of the almighty God. look at the picture for a moment and say I belong to Jesus but not porns do it every time you feel to watch it after off your phone and try to watch something funny. I was in the same problem but now am free because of God pls do it not for your self but the almighty thank you for trying/doing it
hey
Have been watch porn for like 10 years, and it really killing me slowing, I tried so many time, read many books just stop masturbeting and stop doing those act, it becomes harder for me everyday, I can’t stay in one week without watching porn,
I becomes frustrated and depress after the act, I becomes guilty of everything. I believe God almighty can deliver me, my faith is weak now, I release that I can’t stop this dimonish act on my own. Plz pray for me.
Hi there,
We are alwayshappy to pray for anyone who needs it!
I feel like it’s important to tell you that you are not alone. Your struggle is felt by many, many others, and you can overcome this! The first step is always admitting that there is an issue. We have a TON of resources to help you through this process, and judging by what you have told us, I think this might be a great place for you to start.
Good luck on your journey. We are rooting (and praying) for you!
Samantha
To be able to quit porn you need to replace it with something, maybe pray, sing or exercise.
But the ultimate is the Holy Spirit, he can help you quit porn.
I totally agree with you
I want to stop this act.
I hope and pray I can keep this up: 23 months porn free and 11 months masturbation free but I get worried I’ll go back cause I love acting out and did it for 53 yrs. I know it’s Jesus that does it for me , but worried my flesh will take over. Just saying. Good luck and love you everybody else, masturbation is THE toughest addiction I’ve ever faced.
I have read the bad effects of porn , I have read what the pain of porn stars , I have tried my best, I have promised God so many times but …but I can’t stop.
Somebody help me please , I can’t take it anymore …I hate it , I hate myself , I fucking hate it … I really can’t take it anymore.
I am hurting people , I am hurting myself , I told my friends but they aren’t encouraging me to stop …. I don’t know what to do ..
I am sure God hates me so much by now … I am bisexual , I masturbate and even love porn now? I am disgusting…
Just help me somebody please help me … I don’t know what to do … please please help me .
Hey there.
I suspect that the shame you’re experiencing around your sexuality and your expression of your sexuality has taken on a life of its own at this point. The porn is probably really not the issue. It’s the shame. I know for sure that God does not hate you, and I know for sure that God does not want you to hate yourself. God doesn’t hate you if you masturbate, God doesn’t hate you if you look at porn. God doesn’t hate you if your bisexual or gay. That’s the whole point of unconditional love: it’s unconditional! Our shame is what tells us that we’re unloveable. And so shame is the thing I would focus on. I think you’d do well to find a therapist who can help you process what this shame is all about. (Be sure to choose a therapist who is LGBTQ affirming, who will not shame you for being bisexual, but will affirm your worth as a person, including your sexual orientation.) I think once you aren’t feeling so horrible about yourself, you’ll find that the compulsive need to do things you feel ashamed of–that will diminish. Meet the underlying need, and you won’t need the surface behaviors.
Peace to you, friend,
Kay
Cool Post today’s must needed content in this article. The blog clearly describes bad effects of watching porn in mobile and other devices. it is the worldwide problem. There are many apps to avoid watching porn like mobicip.