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I started watching porn when I was in high school, but this was before the age of the smartphone. So, while the seed had been planted, my exposure to porn was very limited. I did not start watching daily until I purchased my first smartphone in 2012, and that opened…
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“My husband is the sex addict; why should I feel shame?” For most healthy outsiders, the logical answer is, “You shouldn’t.” But for most spouses of sex addicts, the feeling of shame clings to us like a body suit. Shame can result from an overwhelming assault on our self-worth. It…
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Recently, a married man from a support group I lead had two setbacks (or relapses) with porn on the same day. But rather than quitting, he sheepishly retorted, “It was just what the doctor ordered!” One of the hardest things to understand or accept is that setbacks may be a part…
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I work with men every day who struggle with some type of sexual addiction, and they all have one thing in common: porn. For a lot of guys, this is their main vice. The men who also have affairs, go to massage parlors, use escorts, or prostitutes all report the…
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Pornography remains one of the vilest substances on the planet, an abomination that twists our God-given sexual desires and mutates them into selfish desires leading to emotional and spiritual destruction. My Mental Prison Cell I was nine years old when I discovered pornography, and for eleven years, I would spend…
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In the previous posts in this series, we’ve looked at the epidemic of loneliness plaguing our culture, its causes, and its relation to pornography addiction. And truthfully, it hasn’t always been pleasant reading. Diagnosing a problem rarely is. Yet, despite the increasing social isolation many of us experience, there is…
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Despite the rising number of women who use pornography, women who struggle often feel alone. One woman, Kimberly, shares this story of how difficult it is to reach out for help: “Um, just so you know. I’m the one with the problem. I’m not calling because my husband or boyfriend…
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Shame Has No Age Limit Shame affects kids, teens, and adults. I’ll never forget receiving a phone call from a distraught mother who found my website, and called to share the story of her 9-year-old son who had been sexually abused at a sleepover. He was now 11 and a…
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Josh had been losing a battle against pornography and adultery for years when he decided he wanted to end his marriage. He had met someone new and wanted to move out, leaving his wife, Serena, devastated and alone. But Serena wasn’t the only one who suffered. He also left his children without…
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Most of us think about sexuality as a very private compartment of our lives. Even in the innocence of childhood, we were subtly taught to treat everything sexual differently. We learned special names for our “private parts.” We were told not to touch or talk about those parts of our…
