Rebuild Your Marriage couple talking on blanket outside
Rebuild Your Marriage 4 minute read

Why There Is No Sex in Heaven

Last Updated: August 24, 2020

Here are two contrasting cultural beliefs for you to consider:

  1. Sex is the best thing on the planet
  2. Heaven is full of the best things we can imagine

So if both of these things are true, why does the Bible tell us there won’t be any sex in heaven?

No Sex in Heaven?

In Matthew 22:30, Jesus says, “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.”

I’ve expounded elsewhere how God designed sex to happen within marriage only, so we can naturally deduce here, as the original listeners would have automatically, that if there is no marriage in heaven, there is also no sex.

No sex in heaven? Many might ask what the other options are at this point!

One of the reasons this news shocks us is because we view sex and heaven selfishly. Culturally, sex has become a selfish act of consumption. And our view of heaven is typically a place of self-centered utopia. We picture beaches and paradise and all the pleasure for ourselves that we can dream of, often not with much thought about God being around at all. This me-centered paradise is a great match for lots of sex for all of eternity. In fact, several of the main world religions promise this (maybe a clue that those religions were made up by a man? But I digress…)

But thank goodness that’s not what heaven, or sex, is meant to be according to the Bible.

Sex is a one-flesh relationship that bonds a man and a woman together in every way possible. It’s why this one-flesh relationship can only function healthily within marriage. The one-flesh bond includes full acceptance and commitment to all a person is, not simply their body parts (Gen. 2:24, Matt. 19:4-6, 1 Cor. 6:15-16). You are one flesh, at all times, in all ways, which can’t be undone.

This sounds pretty amazing, and deep, and night-and-day different from what our culture calls “sex” today. But there’s more. This sex and this one flesh don’t exist for their own end. They aren’t the destination, they are simply another sign post. A sign post pointing to where?

What Sex Really Points To

After giving a treatise on marriage and sex, Ephesians 5 concludes with the following:

“’For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church” (Eph. 5:31-32).

Heyo! The whole time Paul was talking about husbands and wives and marriage and sex in Ephesians 5, it says here he was actually talking about Jesus and us! Marriage and sex are metaphors for the relationship we have with Jesus.

What is a metaphor? It is a sign post. It points to the real thing. It’s something tangible we can look at in order to understand something else. It’s a symbol we can learn from in order to understand and experience the real thing.

The real thing is the one-flesh relationship Jesus desires to have with each of us. It’s the relationship he has with those who call themselves Christians. It’s a relationship of intimate love and acceptance and support and trust, where Jesus is the groom and we are the bride. Earthly marriage and sex are symbols that can help point us toward the real thing.

This is why there is no sex in heaven. You don’t need sign posts when you’ve arrived at the destination!

It’d be like driving to Disney World and parking the car at the green highway sign with the white text of “DISNEY WORLD” and the white arrow pointing to the off ramp. Imagine parking your car there, taking a selfie with the family, and then driving home, telling everyone you’d been to Disney World!

The destination is always better than the sign post.

Heaven Is Not a Perpetual Fast

Some might disagree!  But the reason for the disagreement is because we’ve been worshiping the sign post for far too long and we simply don’t have the full experience of the real thing yet. In talking of the perspective that heaven would be a “perpetual fast” from sex in the minds of some, C.S. Lewis had this to say:

“…or else of a perpetual fast. As regards the fast, I think our present outlook might be like that of a small boy who, on being told that the sexual act was the highest bodily pleasure, should immediately ask whether you ate chocolates at the same time. On receiving the answer no, he might regard absence of chocolates as the chief characteristic of sexuality. In vain would you tell him that the reason why lovers in their carnal raptures don’t bother about chocolates is that they have something better to think of. The boy knows chocolate: he does not know the positive thing that excludes it.

We are in the same position. We know the sexual life; we do not know, except in glimpses, the other thing which, in Heaven, will leave no room for it.”

-C.S. Lewis, as quoted in a 1947 Time Magazine article

A boy can’t understand if you try to tell him sex is the highest bodily pleasure, because he is convinced chocolate is and isn’t ready to understand sex. We can’t understand that pure intimacy with God in his direct presence is what makes heaven, Heaven, not that it’s some me-centered place where we eat Bons Bons on the beach, while watching Netflix, and of course, having sex. Nor can we fully grasp that intimacy with God is better than sex, both now and for all eternity. But the truth remains, which we are exhorted to believe and live by.

This is fantastic news. We worship sex on earth, but it’s also our place of deepest longing and brokenness. A single person feels unloved because they don’t have a sexual partner. A married person goes to pornography, an affair, or fantasy, because the sexual partner they do have isn’t satisfying them.

The Answer to Our Longing for Sex

The answer to our longing for sex is not sex! It’s intimacy with Jesus. We get to experience this intimacy on earth. This unconditional love where God adopts us as his sons and daughters and is well-pleased with us and we are fully accepted into his arms because of what Jesus did on the cross for us.  But imagine this experience in a fully direct, physical way. Wow! That is heaven.

This gives us reason to not worship sex and it also reminds us we don’t need sex. Whether we experience the sign post or not is somewhat irrelevant. What is relevant is that we take God at his word that the destination will be much better, attuning all of our navigational tools toward that destination, not any metaphor, imitation, or sign post along the way.

  1. Jeff W

    Rai & Keith , We need to give People Hope , Give Christians Hope in our Discussions about Sex and Lovemaking in Heaven and the New Earth , Countless Hundreds of Millions of Healthy and Disabled Adults alike for Various Reasons are often
    Chronically unable to Get Sex, Love, Companionship, Relationships, Dates, Intimacy
    Human Touch, Skin to Skin contact for Decades upon Decades upon Decades
    They are Lonely, Sexually Frustrated and Sexually Less Fortunate, Suffering Horribly from Mental, Physical and Spiritual effects of Chronic Lack of Sex , Chronic Rejection
    It’s even worse in Sexually Repressive Immature Childish Nations like
    The United States Heartlessly Outlaws Prostitution, Sex Work for
    Consenting Adults in 49 States, only allowing it in a few counties of
    Nevada
    We should always continue our Civil Discussions and Debates
    About Sexual Intercourse & Lovemaking in Heaven for the
    Sake of the Countless Mainstream Christians unable to
    Get Sex Naturally , especially in Nations like America which is sadly in
    2024 Very Sexually Repressive and Refuses to Legalize Prostitution and allow Consenting Adults to
    Pay for Sex

    • Keith Rose

      Hi Jeff, thanks for your comment.

      As the moderator on this forum, I’ve stayed out of this discussion so far, but I wanted to share a few thoughts. Respectfully, I don’t believe this is the hope people need. People need the hope of the gospel. They need the hope of the resurrection. They need the hope of glory, of seeing Jesus as he is and being in his presence for all of eternity. Marriage (and sex within marriage) is a beautiful and glorious thing, but it’s not the main thing. It is just a shadow that points to spiritual marriage between Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5). I appreciate some of the exegetical arguments that have been made regarding sex and heaven, but I think they miss point of what the Bible is about. If sex and romantic relationships are the ultimate hope, that means Jesus is not. But the Bible tells us Jesus is all in all. Whether there is sex in heaven not will be irrelevant when we come face to face with Jesus in all his glory.

      The book of Revelation teaches us to elevate our vision of eternity. The hope of heaven is the Wedding Supper of the Lamb which is the culmination of all of history. I’m concerned that much of this discussion misses that big picture. I don’t expect to change your mind, but I’m praying that you’ll consider this.

      God bless,

      Keith

  2. Jeff W

    Rai , did you see where I typed above

    In 2023 I found an article headlined
    “Does the Bible Allow For Sex in Heaven?” by
    Babu G. Ranganathan dated January 5, 2017 , this 2017 medium.com article is somewhat different from Mr. Ranganathan’s 2012 online article
    “Will Christians enjoy Sex in Heaven?” While this 2017 article still argues for the Existence of Sexual Intercourse in Heaven. Part of this 2017
    medium.com article says the following which is Not included in the 2012 article , the 2017 article says in part
    “Doesn’t the Bible say we will have spiritual bodies in heaven? In context, what the Bible means by a spiritual body is that our physical bodies will be under total control of our spirit. In the case of Jesus, after His bodily resurrection, He as able to appear and disappear before His disciples at will.
    We’ll be able to control our appetites (i.e. when we want to be hungry and how much we want to be hungry) so that we can enjoy food and drink during fellowship with one another in those mansions above.” How would we reply ? Do you agree ?
    Also the Coronavirus
    Covid-19 pandemic
    has shown countless people how
    horrible loneliness & Social Isolation are . Human Beings Need
    Love & Face to Face in person Friendship & Companionship .
    No one should be lonely or Socially Isolated in Heaven and the
    New Earth . Everyone Needs Soulmates

  3. Jeff W

    Rai ,
    In 2023 I found an article headlined
    “Does the Bible Allow For Sex in Heaven?” by
    Babu G. Ranganathan dated January 5, 2017 , this 2017 medium.com article is somewhat different from Mr. Ranganathan’s 2012 online article
    “Will Christians enjoy Sex in Heaven?” While this 2017 article still argues for the Existence of Sexual Intercourse in Heaven. Part of this 2017
    medium.com article says the following which is Not included in the 2012 article , the 2017 article says in part
    “Doesn’t the Bible say we will have spiritual bodies in heaven? In context, what the Bible means by a spiritual body is that our physical bodies will be under total control of our spirit. In the case of Jesus, after His bodily resurrection, He as able to appear and disappear before His disciples at will.
    We’ll be able to control our appetites (i.e. when we want to be hungry and how much we want to be hungry) so that we can enjoy food and drink during fellowship with one another in those mansions above.” How would we reply ?

  4. Jeff W

    Rai , what do you think of my above comment of
    January 28th, 2024 – 2:03pm
    Since some Christians don’t like the way they look, their facial appearance and find themselves unattractive and can’t even look at themselves in the Mirror. Since the Bible says we Christians will receive
    Glorified Physical Bodies after we die and in the Ressurrection . I interpret that to mean that in BOTH
    Heaven and in the New Earth everyone will be Attractive and pleased with their appearance , that no one will be ugly or unattractive forever .

  5. Jeff W

    Rai , My Sunday Service just ended, the guest speaker mentioned the
    Bible verse Psalm 37:4 which says
    “Take delight in the Lord,
       and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Now, I think this verse and it’s context
    Can we apply it to Christians getting what they desire in Heaven and the New
    Earth ? Because sadly Not everyone can be very Successful or Happy in this Life
    Some people have a unshakable, uncomfortable gut feeling that they were just
    never meant to be very Successful or Happy in this Life, no matter what they do
    or how hard they try , that it’s just their destiny and fate to fail , and very little can be done to
    change that
    Some people because of their hereditary, genetics, environment, upbringing , etc. can just
    never be Successful in Life ,
    Now some Christians may Not have a strong faith, more like a
    wishful thinking type of thing, a
    “I’ll believe it when I see it” Doubting Thomas type of thing
    We Less Fortunate Suffering Christians who want a Perfect
    Happy Life in Heaven and the New Earth don’t think we are
    “Putting God to the test”

  6. Jeff W

    Rai, Keith & Everyone Else , I
    found this YouTube video about the Topic of “lust” in the Bible
    https://youtu.be/hRetYLVfb6c?si=g9pcnHKG0UMrlOaB How exactly do we define “lust” this is related to our discussion and is on topic . It’s deeply upsetting how many disabled and healthy Christians alike for various reasons are unable to find and get Sex, Love and Companionship in this Earthly Life

    • Rai

      Jeff

      In relevant to the current events not just in the middle east but around the world, I invite you to read Keiths article on lust BECAUSE lust doesn’t just speak about the insatiable desire for sex but also all other things like the cravings for the things in this world like the lust for power WHICH IS ONE OF THE ROOT CAUSES of conflict among men.

      Its time to move from here, My friend.

      Placed a comment there.

      See ya

  7. Rai

    Greetings Keith,

    That is why I keep reminding Jeff to “stick to the topic” and although I don’t have any intent of getting off topic, I’m just responding to some of Jeff’s questions as I redirect him back to the original topic of this article.

    Thank you and
    Godbless

    • Rai

      Keith,

      Thanks for sharing the link to your article on lust. Placed a comment there and you have to bear with some misspelled words as Im in a rush

      GOD Bless

    • Keith Rose

      Thanks for your comment Rai!

      Blessings,

      Keith

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related in Rebuild Your Marriage

Editor's Picks

A couple facing one another, holding hands.

Rebuild Your Marriage

Forgiveness vs. Trust: Why Knowing the Difference is Essential

The first 8 years of Troy and Melissa’s marriage were horrible because…

3 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A woman praying with her Bible.

Rebuild Your Marriage

How To (Biblically) Lament Your Husband’s Pornography Use

After I found out that my husband had been viewing pornography, I…

3 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

Happy couple at the beach.

Rebuild Your Marriage

Rebuilding Trust in Marriage Through Boundaries

In situations where a marriage has been affected by pornography use, it’s…

5 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

Happy family of six.

Rebuild Your Marriage

From Secret Addiction to Full Transparency

After being married for eight years, I came home unexpectedly one afternoon…

4 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

Phil Robertson discussing The Blind with Covenant Eyes.

Rebuild Your Marriage

4 Reasons You Should Watch “The Blind”

The Covenant Eyes Podcast team recently made the trip DEEP into the…

4 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A mother with her teenage daughters.

Rebuild Your Marriage

How Porn Shattered My Life (Scholarship Winner)

I was 36, married for 15 years, serving in our Church, attending…

5 minute read

Read Post

Related in Rebuild Your Marriage

A couple facing one another, holding hands.

Rebuild Your Marriage

Forgiveness vs. Trust: Why Knowing the Difference is Essential

The first 8 years of Troy and Melissa’s marriage were horrible because…

The first 8 years of Troy and Melissa’s marriage were horrible because of Troy’s sexual addiction. As God healed them—Troy from his addiction and Melissa from betrayal trauma—they developed a passion for helping other couples.…

3 minute read

0 comments

A woman praying with her Bible.

Rebuild Your Marriage

How To (Biblically) Lament Your Husband’s Pornography Use

After I found out that my husband had been viewing pornography, I…

After I found out that my husband had been viewing pornography, I was devastated. As I processed my grief, one of my dearest friends posed this question to me: “What did you lose when your…

3 minute read

0 comments

Happy couple at the beach.

Rebuild Your Marriage

Rebuilding Trust in Marriage Through Boundaries

In situations where a marriage has been affected by pornography use, it’s…

In situations where a marriage has been affected by pornography use, it’s common for one person to feel responsible for the healing process, while the other doesn’t take enough responsibility. This dynamic can lead to…

5 minute read

0 comments

Happy family of six.

Rebuild Your Marriage

From Secret Addiction to Full Transparency

After being married for eight years, I came home unexpectedly one afternoon…

After being married for eight years, I came home unexpectedly one afternoon to find out that my husband had a pornography addiction. I was defeated, brokenhearted, and overwhelmed. I was a young, stay-at-home mom with…

4 minute read

0 comments

Phil Robertson discussing The Blind with Covenant Eyes.

Rebuild Your Marriage

4 Reasons You Should Watch “The Blind”

The Covenant Eyes Podcast team recently made the trip DEEP into the…

The Covenant Eyes Podcast team recently made the trip DEEP into the heart of Louisiana to meet with Phil and Kay Robertson of Duck Dynasty fame, and to talk about their new movie, The Blind.…

4 minute read

0 comments

A mother with her teenage daughters.

Rebuild Your Marriage

How Porn Shattered My Life (Scholarship Winner)

I was 36, married for 15 years, serving in our Church, attending…

I was 36, married for 15 years, serving in our Church, attending life group and sending our girls to a Christian school to help raise them in the ways of the Lord. I thought pornography…

5 minute read

4 Comments