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Defeat Lust & Pornography 3 minute read

My Imperfect Journey

Last Updated: June 3, 2024


My journey to overcome and avoid the temptation of pornography has been a long and difficult one. It started at the age of 8. Some of my friends came over to my house one day and used our family computer to show me something “cool”. At that age, I just wanted to fit in, so I searched for what they asked. Some very explicit images came up, and I remember how strange it looked. But at the same time, it was appealing. After this incident, for many years, I struggled with compulsive porn use.

My exposure to porn at such a young age negatively impacted my mental and emotional well-being, my relationships, and my overall quality of life. As a Christian, I knew that it was sin, but no one talked to me about overcoming this sin. At the small Christian school I attended, it was a problem I hid. It was a cycle of temptation, indulgence, guilt, and shame, and I felt like I was trapped in it with no way out.

In high school, I began dating. Even though I had been taught growing up not to have sex before marriage, it was something that I wanted because of my porn usage. It was difficult to maintain our relationship because of my wants, and we had some difficult moments. However, I praise God that my girlfriend and I are still together to this day and that I have been open about my porn usage. It was not easy to talk to her about it, but using Covenant Eyes and having her as one of my allies gave her confidence in my recovery.

Living with integrity using today’s technology means being conscious and intentional about how we use it. As a young man today, I know that technology has opened endless possibilities for entertainment, information, and communication, but it has also made it so easy
for us to indulge in bad behaviors like pornography consumption. I truly enjoy how Covenant Eyes has made accountability with my friends so much easier. Currently, my friends here in college have been some of my allies as well. It is such a blessing to not only talk with them in person about our struggles and shortcomings but also to have each other accountable in our usage of our phones, laptops, and tablets.

To live with integrity, we must recognize the potential harms of technology and use it in a way that aligns with our values and beliefs. Even with my early exposure to porn and struggles with my relationship, I have also experienced significant victories along the way. With the help of Covenant Eyes and support from friends, I have found it a lot easier to break free from the cycle of addiction and regain control of my life. My journey has not been perfect, and temptation is still there daily, but I have learned to be more intentional about how I use technology. Furthermore, I have developed healthy coping mechanisms to deal with the triggers that used to lead me to porn use. For example, taking a course about “Why You REALLY Turn to Porn” on Covenant Eyes has helped me realize the hidden things that have been hurting me and how I can stop the secret hurting and begin to heal.

Another key tool that has helped me in my journey with Covenant Eyes is active device activity monitoring. I truly enjoy it because it is a software program that monitors my internet activity and sends reports to my accountability partner, whom I trust and have chosen to
support me in my recovery. Knowing that someone else is watching over my online behavior has been a powerful motivator to stay accountable and avoid temptation.

There have also been some other ways that have helped me aside from this software. Going out in nature and hiking has been my new favorite hobby. Seeing God’s creation has made me admire its beauty. Also, prayer and fellowship with my brothers and sisters have been a blessing and a breakthrough to my addiction.

Through my journey, I have become more mindful of how I use technology and avoid unhealthy behaviors that go against my values. My journey to overcome pornography addiction has been challenging, but it has also taught me valuable lessons about self-control, accountability, and healthy living. I am grateful for the support I have received from Covenant Eyes and my accountability partner, and I hope that my experience can inspire others who may be struggling with similar issues.

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