Jeffrey’s Story: From White-Knuckle Sobriety to Soul Freedom

I am 38 and just celebrated two years of freedom from pornography addiction. Not just white-knuckled sobriety like I’ve had in the past, but actual, deep, soul freedom!

Two years ago, my core message was that I would always be a slave to porn to some degree and that best I could do was to try to avoid it as much as possible. I believed deep down that I would never truly break free. After using it for 25 years and failing to quit a thousand times or more, I had good reason to believe that!

A forced disclosure to my wife brought our world crashing in upon us. I was a single moment away from losing my marriage, my career, and putting my children through the hardships of divorce. I had finally hit rock bottom.

I finally reached out for help.

The Steps to Freedom

One of the first steps I took was to put Covenant Eyes on all my devices. This helped to establish some safety for my wife and me when we needed that desperately. I also joined a group dedicated to helping men break free from porn addiction. I also started therapy with a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist).

I read any book I could get my hands on regarding freedom from porn. I listened to audiobooks and podcasts on the same topic. I got a sponsor. I completed the full disclosure process with the help of a CSAT. I stopped telling lies to myself and my wife and others.

• I still attend weekly meetings.
• I still see a therapist.
• I still engage with the recovery community that helped me break free.
• I still read book after book.
• I still listen to dozens of podcasts.

Trading Lies for Truth

I used to do these things driven by fear but somewhere along the way my core values changed. I looked at myself and all the change I had experienced and realized something new about myself. I realized I am capable of real and lasting change with the help of God and others.

This was my NEW truth, and, in fact, it was the truth all along.  I realized that all this time, I had exchanged the truth for a lie. Romans 1:25 says, “They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshipped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen” (NIV). Through the help of God and others, I have now exchanged a lie for the truth.

I was a voracious consumer of pornography for many years, and no matter how much I consumed, it was never enough. Indeed, it can never be enough. I am 38 years old and I am free from pornography addiction. I invite you to join me, and Covenant Eyes is a great place to start.