Defeat Lust & Pornography A teenager reading his Bible and learning about integrity.
Defeat Lust & Pornography 3 minute read

Finding Integrity Without Willpower

Last Updated: July 14, 2023

Editor’s Note: Victory often looks like a gradual process. The young man who shared this story is not far on his journey away from porn, but he is on the right path and seeking God wholeheartedly, rather than relying on his willpower. We hope you find his story encouraging and motivating for your own journey!

Having social integrity has never been too difficult for me. I have never really felt much pressure to change what I believe or what I do. I have chosen to do my best to live like Jesus and be a light to the people around me through my actions. I don’t swear, and I don’t talk about inappropriate things, like most other students my age do I don’t fit in with the crowd most of the time because of it, but it has always been worth it for me. I would rather not have any friends than compromise my faith.

Spiritually, the integrity I have shown has been all over the place for most of my life. I grew up in a Christian home, I’ve gone to church every week, and I know all the right things to say and do. However, as can often be the case growing up a Christian, I had gotten comfortable with my faith and hadn’t pursued God much until recently. I was really struggling to find God’s presence in my life. I felt that he must not care about me if he would allow us to move away from everything.

I have also been struggling with pornography for about 6 years now. I have always wanted to stop, but have just never had the willpower to stop on my own. But I have learned that I need to let others in so I don’t have to fight this battle alone. That is why I went to my parents and asked if we could get Covenant Eyes. I have Covenant Eyes on my phone and personal computer, and I am so grateful for it. The hardest part about being accountable is going and telling someone when I am struggling. What I love about Covenant Eyes is that it forces me to be accountable for my decisions online.

Covenant Eyes has been such a great thing for me to start turning away from porn, but I am quickly realizing that it is not the ultimate solution. I love that it limits what I can see as well as alerts my parents to any suspicious activity. Because of that, I have not looked at porn for about two weeks now, my longest streak ever. However, I have my thoughts to deal with.

I am really grateful for Covenant Eyes because it has started me on the right track of recovery from this sin, but more importantly, it has made me realize how much I need to give this struggle to God and let Him transform me. Only through God transforming my mind will I be able to fully beat this struggle, and Covenant Eyes has helped me realize that.

Integrity is something that I want to have. Through continual crying out to him, God was faithful to teach me that he is always there. I just have to put all of my hope and trust in him. It was a long, hard lesson, but I am so glad I learned it. Since then, I have pursued God much more diligently and consistently. Nobody needs to tell me to make sure that I get in the Word anymore, I do it out of my own desire and need for it.

This last little while has been such a good time for me. I have been challenged in my faith a lot, but God has always come through for me, and I don’t know what I would do without him. There are still hard days and hard seasons, as I know there will always be, but I am confident in my faith in God and that he does everything for my good, even when it doesn’t feel good in the moment.

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