What does the Bible say about modesty? Modesty is a controversial topic, especially when you throw God into the mix. Does God really care about what we wear?
Modesty is notoriously challenging to define, as is pornography. See What the Bible Says About Pornography (Without Using That Word). But as Christian morality compels us to leave porn behind, it also compels us to embrace a lifestyle of sexual purity that encompasses the way we dress and conduct ourselves.
First and foremost, a biblical definition of modesty must focus on the heart. Biblical modesty is primarily about our motivations. In addition, modest dress is also about discernment and having an awareness of others and our environment.
Related: 5 Big Questions About Christians and Porn
Why is modesty controversial for Christians?
In a recent conversation, a woman I spoke with seemed deeply offended when I suggested a woman’s manner of dress could tempt a man to lust. She wasn’t denying the claim that men lust after women, but she was emphatic that women are not to blame for a man’s lustful thoughts and actions.
She’s right, of course. A woman is never guilty of another person’s sin. That applies to both men and women who dress immodestly.
Modesty and the Problem of Rape Myths
This woman’s protest is, in part, motivated by a desire to fight various rape myths in our culture. When a girl dresses scantily, goes to a college party, gets drunk, makes out with a dozen guys, and then is raped, for some there is a tendency to say, “Well, she was just asking for it.” This kind of victim-blaming, sadly, leads some to temper any compassion for such women when they are abused.
Let’s be clear: Victims of rape are not guilty of their rape. The girl who walks across campus at 2 a.m. and gets assaulted is not to blame for the crime committed against her.
Modesty and the Problem of Lust
Similarly, victims of another’s lust aren’t guilty of lust. No one gives an account for another person’s sin. If a woman dresses immodestly and a man lusts after her, it is still that man’s fault.
But does this mean modesty itself is a non-issue? It does not follow that one individual’s sin of lust nullifies another individual’s sin of immodesty. Each person is responsible for their own sin.
Modesty and Double-standards for Men
Many have noted that modesty conversations tend to focus exclusively on controlling the way women dress. These discussions usually skim over the question of whether a man should dress modestly. This is wrong. We will see that the Bible teaches that both men and women should behave modestly, in the way they dress and how they conduct themselves.
Amidst these controversies, modesty remains an important issue for Christians in a world driven by lust. Indeed, it is all the more important to accurately define it on God’s terms. So how then do we understand biblical modesty?
What is biblical modesty?
“I desire…that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.”
1 Timothy 2:8-10
Christian women should concern themselves with modesty because the Bible does. Paul writes here about women, but we should recognize that men are equally obligated to embrace modesty. For example, Hebrews 12:28 instructs men and women alike to serve God with “reverence and awe,” and some manuscripts of this text interchange the Greek word for “modesty” instead of “awe,” suggesting that it makes sense to apply this charge to both men and women. With that in mind, let’s look at six key marks of biblical modesty.
1. Modesty is not anti-fashion.
At the outset, we should take note that Paul is not anti-adornment. The force of his statement is positive: “Women should adorn themselves.” These are not the words of an anti-fashion prude. The same word “adorn” is used to speak of a bride beautifying herself for her husband (Revelation 21:2). It is a term that expresses being ornamented, well-kempt, and put in order.
The question for Paul isn’t about whether someone should ornament their body, but how.
2. Modesty is about who you worship.
In this context, Paul is talking about how women should prepare themselves for gathering at church. Women are commanded to adorn themselves in a way that is fitting for worship. If they “profess godliness”—that is, they desire to show God honor and reverence—how should they dress?
Paul puts his finger on the trigger of the problem. In Ephesus, the original destination of this letter, the cultural elite were known for their gaudy and extravagant wardrobes, their elaborate hairstyles, and their expensive clothing that communicated extraordinary wealth. James also warns against showing preference for men who dress expensively (James 2:1-4).
Here, Paul paints a picture of this for the Ephesians Christians and says, “Don’t mimic that. When you come to church, come dressed in a way that shows you desire for the attention to be on God, not yourself.” A person’s manner of dress, or even their preoccupation with clothing itself (Matthew 6:28-30), is often indicative of a heart that loves self more than God.
3. Modesty is about behavior and attitude, not just clothing.
When Paul says that women should wear “respectable apparel,” the term “apparel” is probably translated too narrowly; it is a term that encompasses not just clothing, but one’s whole demeanor, attitude, and actions.
From the clothing she wears to the way she carries herself, a Christian woman ought to be seemly and well-ordered (as the text here says, “respectable”). Ultimately, what should adorn a person is not just clothing but “good works.” As Christians, we are being remade by God for good works (Ephesians 2:10). Christ died so that we might be zealous for good works (Titus 2:14). Christians should seek to dress their lives in works that do good to others, marked with godly love.
This means biblical modesty is not simply about what we wear, but how we act, how we communicate, and how relate to others.
4. Modesty shows sensitivity to sin.
In this text, Paul says a woman’s apparel should be worn with “modesty.” Other translations opt for the word “decency.” The King James Version translates this “shamefacedness,” which gets more to the heart of the word. It means sensitivity to the presence of sin in the world.
It also means a demeanor of reverence–showing respect to oneself and a regard for others. It even carries the connotation of “bashful.” Connected to the term “shame,” the word implies the idea of grief over sin that is in the world—that someone would be so sensitive to sin, knowing that sin is offensive to God, that they would never come close to trying to provoke it in others.
No, a woman is not guilty of a man’s lust if she dresses with the intention to allure him. A man is not guilty of a woman’s lust if he dresses for the same purpose. But they are guilty of treating sin lightly. A heart of modesty is motivated by a love for one’s fellow person.
Related: Is Watching Porn a Sin?
5. Modesty involves cultural discretion.
Paul didn’t just paint broad strokes when talking about modesty; he gave specifics. He said braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire were out of place for a truly modest woman.
Some knowledge of Roman culture is helpful for understanding what Paul is saying. In Paul’s day, Greek hairstyles for women were fairly simple; hair was parted in the middle and pinned in the back. But a culture change was sweeping the region. Women in the imperial household were wearing their hair with elaborate curls and braids, covered in expensive ornaments. The elite throughout the empire copied this style.
Modesty and Culture in Ancient Times
For Paul, the appearance of braids and ornaments was more about what the fashion communicated. They carried connotations of imperial luxury and conjured up images of notoriously immoral empresses like Valeria Messalina and Poppeaea Sabina, ancient equivalents of Cosmopolitan cover girls.
The poet Juvenal, a contemporary of Paul, gives a vivid description of this cultural trend:
“There is nothing that a woman will not permit herself to do. Nothing that she deems shameful. And when she encircles her neck with green emeralds and fastens huge pearls to her elongated ears, so important is the business of beautification. So numerous are the tiers and stories piled one another on her head that she pays no attention to her own husband.”
Similarly, the philosopher Philo gives a description of a prostitute in his writing called “The Sacrifices of Cain and Abel”:
“A prostitute is often described as having hair dressed in elaborate braids, her eyes with pencil lines, her eyebrows smothered in paint and her expensive clothes embroidered lavishly with flowers and bracelets and necklaces of gold and jewels hanging all over her.”
Paul’s description of immodest dress conjured a picture of someone preoccupied with appearance, fashion, luxury, and sexual prowess. Similarly, modern modesty standards are not about arbitrary rules of how much skin is shown or how low-cut something is, but about the messages and values our clothing communicates.
6. Modesty is about true freedom, not repression.
More often than not, modesty standards are seen as repressive, arbitrary rules that restrict a woman’s creativity and freedom. And often enough, the biblical concept has been abused for this purpose. But when modesty is motivated from the heart, the exact opposite is true.
(See Purity Culture and Its Unfortunately Intersection With Porn).
Paul says women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel with “self-control.” This might be better understood as “self-mastery”—being of sound mind or sober, being in control of one’s impulses and appetites. In extra-biblical literature, this word has sexual nuances—being able to totally control your romantic and erotic desires.
Habitual immodesty is often, though not always, the fruit of a kind of slavery. A person might be enslaved by their desire to attract the opposite sex. They might define their worth by their fashion sense, sex appeal, image, weight, particular body parts, or the brand names they wear. This kind of slavery is widespread because sin impacts us all, and in today’s sexually charged, media-saturated culture, many men and women alike fall prey to it.
But as Christians, we are free from the slavery of sin because we are united to Christ. Paul exhorts us to live out this freedom: “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions” (Romans 6:12). When it comes to modest dress, we can follow Paul’s next statement quite literally: Do not present the members of your body to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present your members to God as instruments for righteousness (verse 13). Paul wants Christian women to have self-mastery in their wardrobe choices and to be totally free from worldly ways of defining worth, beauty, and sexiness.
Ironically, it is not just those who are scantily dressed that are enslaved, but even those who pride themselves on their modesty. “Modest is hottest,” they say, unaware that in their own hearts, they are still enslaved to a preoccupation with their physical image, still defining their worth by their outward adornment.
Defining Biblical Modesty
Taken together, these aspects of biblical modesty help to give us a working definition.
Modesty is a respectable manner of adorning one’s body and carrying oneself, born out of a freedom from a worldly definition of beauty and worth, and motivated by a hatred of sin and a desire to draw attention to God.
When it comes to the subject of modest clothing, the first question we should ask ourselves is: What am I trying to accomplish by what I wear?
After i was saved, GOD let me know when i was wearing something not modest. Maybe if someone has issues with the subject they should pray for GOD to direct them. I enjoyed the article.
For the most part I like what you’re trying to do with this article. However I do wonder why it seems that you have applied your modesty principles to women? Modesty is truly something we are all called to.
I mention that in the article. The reason why I apply this to women is because the Bible passage I’m using applies it to women. But of course, modesty applies to both genders.
Thank you for this article. I found it very interesting, and all the subsequent comments and replies too.
You’re welcome! Hope it was helpful.
I have a different view of modesty. I think that if you want to show off your body, go for it. If you’re showing off your body in a way so that you want lust after you but are not planning to have sex with them, that’s another thing.
Thanks for your opinion.
Hi, I really enjoyed your article. This is a huge issue for women and I’m glad to see it addressed in a way where the focus is more about our intention rather than the measure of skin exposed. In the past I have been guilty of joining the masses in seductive dressing mostly because it is one of the few ways a female can be recognised in this society, frankly it’s one of the few options of power women can access. If a woman doesn’t dress that way she is often overlooked for jobs, marriage and socially, just look at the fuss made about Sarah Palin’s appeal not based on her political abilities but on her sexual attractiveness to males. People say I dressed conservatively compared to others though but even that caused an issue since I was told by men that it’s nice to see a woman who dresses in a way that ‘ leaves something to the imagination ‘! This is a tricky area for women to navigate so I appreciate the focus given on the wearer’s motivations (hidden or aware), very helpful.
I will be talking with my daughters about intention as I think it helps with their development as a person apart from male approval. Thankfully now that I’m 40 I don’t have to think about this myself anymore :). Although I’m in healthy shape I’m too old to be of any temptation since I’m no longer the 20 yr old eye magnet regularly seen on TV, mags and in public. It seems silly to dress modestly unless there’s a reason for it, so thankfully women do get a break eventually to relax a bit.
This is a very good topic that should be addressed. I also have concerns about the idea of male ob/gyns doing what I would consider an “x-rated” exam, I think one other person brought this up I am surprised that not very many people have considered this to be an issue. I have always felt like it was wrong, and in fact done some research having been negatively affected emotionally when my wife was pregnant and had chosen a male doctor for the initial exam. I did not expect to feel the way I did, however the knowledge of another man having both seen and touched my wife in such an intimate fashion disturbed me to the point of depression. I spoke to my wife about my feelings and she switched doctors, however it still bothered me knowing that she didn’t see what was so wrong about it, because after all, her mother had taken her to male doctors from being a teenaged girl.
But anyway, after hitting a few forums looking for some like-minded advice on how to deal with it, I ran across either people that were either to one extreme or another, mostly being chided and belittled for expecting modest standards from the medical community. I also found that there were actually tracts written by doctors in the 1800’s speaking against the practice of what they termed “man-midwifery”, fearing it would lead to a more promiscuous society. I believe they were correct in their thinking, comparing old paintings depicting women fully clad in long dresses to our modern swimsuit magazines (and far worse).
But how can we preach about modesty, and at the same time condone young women visiting the male ob/gyn? Shouldn’t we raise the standard?
Is wearing trouser a sin or an indecency?
Luke, I enjoyed your article “Six Marks of Biblical Modesty.” I am a pastor, and I would like to quote your article in a free handout that I would give to people in my church (free of course). Could I have your permission to print this? Thank you. Ryan Gilin, Pastor of Mission Baptist Temple, Stow, Ohio
Please do! Just let others know where the article comes from.
I am a new youth and young adult minister and would love to link this on our Facebook/Blog page. Is there an easy way to do that? Is it posted to the Covenant Eyes Facebook page? I do not see a “Share” option.
Thanks for helping me understand.
Toby, you should see “Like” and “Share” options at the top of the post, between the title and the article.
Let’s look at some verses that show a little of God’s heart and mind in the matter (since Jesus Christ is the same yesterday today and forever (Heb. 13:8; and perhaps Malachi 3:6), I think these are safe):
He asked the priests to cover their thighs Exodus 28:42
God related shame to the thighs and buttocks being exposed Isaiah 47:1-3 (I think there are other references to exposed buttocks and thighs as relates to shame.) I don’t think that shame was “in your culture” but more God’s definition and distinction between shame and honor.
Ex 20:26; Ex 32:25 (pharua – naked) other verses too
I Corinthians 12:23 speaks of the Body but there is an interesting reference to modesty as refers to clothing: cover unpresentable (parts); some say private parts; bestow clothing (peritithemen Greek 4060)
Modesty is an issue of the heart AND body. I have observed that we have abandoned physiological principles put in place by God. It is very weak of us to make constant references to the state of our heart when we wear clothing that is form fitting (or just clothing bare necessities). I firmly acknowledge those who know they are not trying to be seductive but believe there is ignorance and a lack of a reality check when we go forward with bare minimum and skin tight clothing; this is not a whole recognition of reality. Saying “my heart is in the right place” is only half the puzzle though a big one if not the biggest one.
We are not responsible for someone else’s sin thoughts but we are responsible to please God, which takes a contrite (repentant) heart or even a boldly curious one. Moments of quiet. Reading the whole Bible and not chucking out the Old Testament where so much of God’s heart is exposed. After having been at a legalistic college and fed up with that kind of approach, I asked God to always let me see his heart when I read the Bible. That means his motives and his long term plan as well as his short term plan. List checking is dangerous. His heart is clear in the Bible many times over. We remember Jesus’s statement: Oh, Jerusalem, Jerusalem. Matthew 23:37. How he Longed. He has desires. Reasons. Hopes for us. Clothing is actually in there if we can discern and leave behind the legalistic but see the heart of God. After 25 years I was able to weed out the lists and verses that were misapplied and see that the amount of clothing is a part of modesty undoubtedly. It is NOT just about what we wear and where we wear it though that is a part of it. So we cannot say that it would be inappropriate to wear thus and such to church but it is okay to wear it by a body of water. There are some bottom line standards that need addressed.
My latest “revelation” is that 1mm of clothing does not constitute covering. Logically, it does not.
Regarding lust, I heard it best like this: a man can lust after a woman even if she is wearing a burlap sack. That is true. But what do we do? Since there is not a chapter on the definition of clothing it is our duty to then search for the heart of God in the matter without being legalistic, reductionistic or lacking care. He is amazingly silent on the issue as far as lists go but his thoughts can be seen if we look with the goal of hearing Him just as we learn of someone else we love from little tidbits here and there.
If we even take the thought in I Corinthians 12:23, we can give great respect to our body. That is the emphasis: our body is deserving of great honor.
p.s. I am a great proponent of breastfeeding. It is my belief that a breast giving nourishment is still a breast and the sexuality of a breast and the function of a breast ARE NOT mutually exclusive. Our “private parts” deserve the honor of covering (except in the company of the husband, and women and to clarify, that is women who would not be tempted to lust. This necessarily excludes posting photos.) There are local groups and specialists, or neighbors or family who can address the issues and relying on the internet as a means if it violates the standard of “covering” is a compromise though well intended. Again, that is “our hearts are in the right place” which is undoubtedly true, vs, we bestow honor to our bodies by covering them. The internet doesn’t have to be the means. When I didn’t know what I was doing, I cried (literally) out to God and through a series of events I ended up talking to a lady who had been a nurse who drove to my house at 10 at night and stayed until 1 in the morning to teach me what I needed to know. I still remember that as a bold move of God in my life since that kindness was unusual, but an answer from God. Learning can be accomplished without turning to posted actual photos. Present the challenge to God and see the amazing ideas that will come about.
Still searching for God’s heart.
My compliments to you for addressing this topic.
The Scripture 1 Timothy 2:9 is not about lust or temptation at all. Paul was not uneducated, if he wanted to speak on lust, he would have. But he didn’t. He spoke on modesty. This Scripture is often used in reference to men lusting after women or women seducing men, that’s not what it’s about. It’s about Believers putting their attire and their adornments above God.
That being said, those who put great emphasis on “veiling” themselves are just as guilty of being immodest as those who put great emphasis on wearing booty shorts and belly tees.
The Scripture 1 Timothy 2:9 is only Paul’s opinion. In the KJV he says that he “will’s” for women to dress modestly. Meaning, he wishes for them to dress in that manner. It’s not a commandment from God…that’s still not to say that women shouldn’t dress modestly. More importantly, it’s saying that women who give more care to their clothing and their adornments should dress modestly so as to not distract or disrupt their own spirit. NOT the spirit of others.
If modesty was an issue for ALL women EVERYWHERE, Paul would have mentioned it in his letters to EACH individual church. Instead he mentioned it specifically to the Ephesians, why? Because it was a problem amongst the women specifically in Ephesus. Why didn’t he mention modesty to the men of Ephesus? Because the men of Ephesus struggled with anger and doubt, as he also mentioned in 1 Timothy 2:8
“I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.” (1 Timothy 2:8 KJV)
Modestly is still a problem for some today, however, the notion of how Christian women, or Christian men for that matter, should dress is not defined by this Scripture alone. As stated in the article, modesty is defined by our behavior, not merely our attire.
If a Christian woman went to the mall and wore skin tight jeans with “Juicy” printed on the behind, she wouldn’t be guilty of “treating sin lightly” that’s like saying a man who takes his shirt off at the gym is hell-bound for his lack of shamefacedness.
Wearing something that shows off your body, male or female, is not being insensitive to sin. Because you will always have someone lusting after you, whether you’re covered from head to toe or walking around stark naked. If being sensitive to sin was the point of modesty, beautiful individuals would have been commanded to stay indoors. Their mere faces would have been an insensitivity to sin.
Thanks for weighing in on this. I have a few thoughts…
1. I agree that Paul isn’t directly talking about lust or temptation in this text. He is talking about modesty. However, given the specific fashion options he mentions, associated with opulence and sexual prowess, it seems to be clearly one of the reasons why he is mentioning modesty.
2. Obviously, Paul is giving his opinion, but the question for the careful interpreter is whether he is knowingly stating something that is merely his opinion or something he believes God thinks as well. Look at the connecting phrases. When he says he desires men in every place to pray (v.8), is that merely his opinion, or something God also wants? The context is clear: he is saying this because of the above comments about “supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings” being made for all kinds of people (v.1) which is not merely something he personally urges but because “it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior” (v.3). Flowing from this premise, he tells all men to pray (v.8), and then in the same breath, tells women to be modest. In fact, he uses the same verb (βούλομαι, i.e. I want, I will) for both actions: men praying and women dressing modestly. It seems clear from the context that modesty isn’t merely his opinion any more than prayer is.
3. It is a superficial logic to say that if Paul thought modesty was an issue everywhere he would have mentioned it everywhere. Paul only mentions the Lord Supper in one letter. Does that mean that he doesn’t think other churches should do it? Paul only mentions the qualifications for elders in two letters. Does that mean none of the other churches should follow similar qualifications? For that matter, all of Paul’s letter show unique qualities and content. This is the beauty behind God’s design for Scripture: even though each letter and book is addressed to individuals and specific groups, taken as a canon of inspired literature, they are meant to be used by the church universally (interpreted rightly and contextually, of course).
4. I agree with you that modesty is not defined by this Scripture alone, and I say as much in my article.
5. It’s a good question once we start comparing issues of male and female modesty. I’m not sure what to do about the man at the gym example, but that’s only because I’m not sure what cultural cues are associated with that (say, compared to a woman with “juicy” written on her back side). If a shirtless male invokes a cultural image of sexual prowess and seduction, then I would say the man should probably be more discrete about where he takes his shirt off.
(And for the record, I don’t think anyone in particular is “hell-bound” because of modesty issues. If modesty is a matter of the heart and someone is being deliberately and sinfully immodesty, then yes, that person is offending God, but not in a manner that can’t be forgiven.)