All the assumptions that pornography was a boy’s struggle completely dismissed me, a twelve-year-old girl addicted to porn. I was part of a large percentage of teens using pornography, and while so many of us struggled, I felt alone. What started as seeking questions became a full-on addiction, and because of those assumptions and labels of porn being a male struggle, I did not know how to seek freedom and overcome the shame.
My life was extremely secretive for a while, and watching pornography became an everyday routine until, one day, my parents found out. That was one of the scariest days of my life, yet looking back, it was the start of my freedom and battle against the shameful life of having a sexual addiction. From that point, my parents got Covenant Eyes and practiced personal accountability. Covenant Eyes helped guide me and my parents to finding healing.
All of these steps helped me build a trusting relationship with my parents so that I could ask awkward questions and share when I was struggling. They helped equip me with tools to seek freedom and fight shame. Technology is a crazy tool that makes everything easy to access, so humans need to have lots of self-control to use it wisely. Covenant Eyes has helped me build that self-control and accountability.
Since then, I have been able to share this software as another resource for others to succeed in gaining freedom and have healthy usage of technology. The older I get, the more I realize God can use my struggle to help others, especially all the girls that are not a part of people’s assumptions about porn. I have used my story as a resource for others to know they are not alone and that they can beat this addiction. Conducting research concerning girls who struggle with pornography, sharing my struggle, and getting involved with anti-human trafficking organizations have helped me gain freedom and destroy pornography’s power over me.
I am now twenty years old and have been eight years porn-free. The journey has been long, but there is victory due to accountability and integrity. I have a new identity as a warrior fighting shame and evil. My battle is filled with big and small victories, but as it continues, I know that I am able to fight and overcome.
