Shocked. Horrified. Disgusted. Sickened. That’s only a handful of the emotions that overtook me when I found out that my 14-year-old son was a captive audience to a two-and-a-half-hour public display of hardcore heterosexual and homosexual obscenity—and no one said a word. I dare not even repeat here the vile images that are now imprinted on his brain.
Just a few generations ago the common sense standard of the general public was (at least) to shield the most vulnerable among us from anything that may pose a threat to a child physically, mentally, or emotionally. It was common for even perfect strangers to hold high public standards in the defense of children.
As much as I’d like to believe that the majority of the general public still holds this view, it’s rapidly becoming clearer that standard decency and common sense in regards to children are neither common—nor do they make sense.
Sky High Porn
My son was traveling on a Delta flight from Minneapolis to New York City with a team of adults to serve the victims of Hurricane Sandy. Originally, he was seated with another team member, but when their flight got rerouted, he was sandwiched between two middle-aged men three rows from the back of the plane.
Just after takeoff, the man seated to his left pulled out his iPad and proceeded to watch hardcore pornography. My son said he tried not to look—but how could he not see it? It was practically in his lap, especially since the man was so large that he took up nearly half my son’s seat as well.
He wanted to complain, but was too intimidated by the man to say anything. Feeling trapped, he chose to bite his tongue, and no matter how hard he tried to avert his eyes, he was bombarded by “flesh” in his peripheral vision.
Since the man was continually being served alcohol throughout the entire flight, there were ample opportunities for the flight attendant (or even a nearby passenger) to take notice. However, no one said a word. The man exposed my son to an entire pornographic movie and several short videos throughout the two-and-a-half-hour flight.
Needless to say, I was completely horrified.
Is airplane porn now acceptable?
Has porn become so “normal” that there’s no longer any inhibition about viewing it in public places?
What about children? Why wasn’t there one person who cared enough for a child to speak on his behalf?
Related: 6 Ways to Raise a Sex Addict
At the very least, this man was insensitive, compulsive, and selfish. On the other hand, maybe he knew exactly what he was doing.
It didn’t take long for frustration to set in after hearing, “Really, I’ve never heard of that before” over and over again from Delta representatives. Was this really a brand new thing? Delta reps seemed to think so and were clearly not trained in handling the situation. The best they could come up with was to offer us a $75 Visa card, which we declined.
After speaking to several reps, we were assured that Delta has a “zero-tolerance policy” for such things and that they “do not stand for that at all.”
Parents, Take Action
Now, I understand many might say the blame lies squarely with my son for not speaking up, or the blame lies with me allowing him to fly on an airplane without his family. Should my son have said something—maybe sought out another team member he knew on the plane who could have helped him think about what to do? Sure. My son was paralyzed with fear and confusion, and perhaps he shouldn’t have been.
But let’s place credit where credit is due: should we expect kids to always know how to cry for help amidst a scary, profane situation, or should we hope adult men would have the decency to leave their hardcore porn at home?
Was this an isolated incident, or is airplane porn more common than we think? When flight attendants are themselves concerned about public displays of porn in-flight, when men are arrested for watching child porn at 60,000-feet, when the flight crew tells concerned fliers to change seats rather than telling porn-viewers to stop watching, and when the FBI have to investigate men masturbating in full view of other passengers, it seems clear to me this isn’t a fluke.
A common response from flight crew in a lot of these stories is, “I can’t do anything about it.”
Really? Why not? So, is it acceptable to watch pornography in full view of the general public?
Not too long ago this was a no-brainer, but today, this is a question society is asking. In libraries, gyms, coffee shops, cafes, and even driving down the road, porn is becoming an acceptable norm in the public square. There’s no “right” to smoke in many public spaces, because someone may be exposed to toxic physical poisons against their will. Yet the “right” to infect others (even children) with mental emotional, and spiritual poisons is becoming more tolerable.
Parents, we must “foresee the danger ahead and take precaution” as Solomon says. Abuse, child sex-trafficking, violence, rape, molestation, neglect, STDs, addiction, gender confusion, fatherlessness, divorce—every day millions of children are being sacrificed on the altar of sexual idolatry in one way or another. This time, it was my son’s heart, mind, and emotions that were sacrificed, and it grieves me that I was ignorant to the danger. I hadn’t prepared my child for such a scenario, but you can.
Related: My Child Has Been Exposed to Porn–5 Critical Truths You Need to Know
“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8).
Sexual vulgarity is crouching at nearly every corner of our society. As long as it is up to you, don’t let your child be the prey.
It may still be criminal to knowingly expose a child to pornography, but that’s not where we’re headed as a society. Delta may have a “zero-tolerance policy” for in-flight porn now, but that isn’t the case for all airlines. Parents beware: The acceptance of public porn as the “new normal” isn’t that far away. What is merely tolerated today will be lauded tomorrow.
1. Parents, teach your kids early about the sacredness of their bodies and the goodness of sex. Kids need to know our over-sexualized culture is not bad because sex is bad, but because sex is good. The problem with porn in any form, from the soft-core magazine covers in the checkout isle to the hardcore movies online, is not that is shows us too much sex but because it doesn’t show us enough—real intimacy cannot be ripped from its relational context and put on the screen or in a magazine.
2. Teach your sons and daughters how to react to perverse scenarios. It doesn’t have to be hardcore porn on a plane. It could be in the locker room at school. It could be crude jokes in the lunchroom or the school bus. It could be a sext kids are passing around from phone to phone. Kids need to be taught how to respond to such situations and we need to teach them.
3. Know how to react when you see public obscenity. Whether its on an airplane, a local library, or a school—if you see someone viewing pornography, they are likely breaking federal public obscenity laws. Ask the person viewing to put the pornography away. If this fails, inform someone else immediately—the flight attendant, librarian, teacher, etc.—and if they tell you nothing can be done, inform them that this is not a matter of preference; it is a matter of public obscenity crimes.
It is terrible that this man chose to watch this stuff, especially with a young boy next to him. However, don’t the boy’s eyelids work? Fight the temptation to watch and close your eyes! That is an option when you are just sitting in a seat. Also he could have spoken up, many kids would have.
Hmm… I have considered your comment Virginie. First I agree that eyes can be shut, physically. But really? Have you ever met a 14 year old boy? Physically he is fighting to stay pure, as the battle of his life, and his body is not helping. Then, what about the sounds? What about the expectation of women and what “makes them respond” sexually? Is that fair to his future wife? Most kids? Set anyone beside a man that is drinking and big enough to squash them in one grip. Add to that fear THE FACT that other ADULTS are not even saying anything…why would a kid? I have to disagree with your assessment and pray that this never happens to anyone you care about. It is NEVER. NEVER. NEVERRRRR, a child’s fault when an adult makes choices that leave scars…physically, mentally or spiritually.
If you are so concerned about what your child sees or is exposed to, then perhaps you should have gone on the trip with him, rather than expect the airline or other passengers to do your parenting for you. It is hardly the airline’s fault that this man watched what he did and, while I do not condone his choice of airline entertainment, he has a right to watch what he chooses. This nanny state nonsense, with parents expecting and demanding everyone else to parent their children for them, has gone far enough. Next time, do something truly shocking: parent your son and accompany him.
@CW – Don’t be absurd. There’s a difference between expecting everyone to parent your child for you and expecting people to act decently in front of your children.
CW.. The idea of treating a 14 year old wasn’t even a thing until the early 1900s… Kids were kings by the age of 8.. I applaud parents like this for trusting their “kid” to make decisions for themselves. You don’t have to hold their hand through every walk of life… Putting them in opportunities to succeed without “adult” surpurvision will only encourage them to take control of their life and encounter natural consequences! We have to stop pretending like they are completely defenseless… In fact… THEY ARE DEFENSELESS UNTIL WE TREAT THEM OTHERWISE..
It is reasoning like this that perpetuates the problem. Blame the victim instead of the pervert exposing him to porn. Sick. He’s a child, and as the mother stated, he was afraid and intimidated. I would have been, too at that age. It is the man viewing porn in a public place and in front of a minor who is to blame (and any adult who knowingly did nothing) who is to blame. No one else!
… also, “CW” did you miss the part where she talked about public obscenity laws? It is NOT this man’s right to watch porn in a public place. Where has common decency gone? Shame on you!
CW, would you reconsider your comments? A 14 year old does not need to be accompanied by a parent on a plane. But no one should expect a 14 year old person to confront an adult in this situation. Nor should anyone be subjected to pornography in such closed proximity. Even if I was in that situation, I would expect the airlines to be prepared to enforce with a standard of decency,as I doubt that someone that insensitive would respect the request of an adult either. Further, you say he has a right to watch what he chooses, but what would you have done if you were there as a parent? Let him watch it, since it’s his right? Then what’s the point of being there as a parent? What are you really saying?
Are you kidding??? How ludicrous – this comment is barely worth commenting on it’s so ridiculous, and just another example of absent common sense in society. NO, the boy shouldn’t be obligated to close his eyes on a long flight (or for any length of time) because some perverted adult is too selfish and degraded to not play such obscene material in plain sight. That man is an idiot.
I actually just went through a two hour sexual abuse education class for my school. Exposing an underaged child to pornography is considered a form of sexual abuse of a child. You do not have to lay a hand on a child for it to be considered sexual abuse. The man on the plan could have been reported and held liable. It’s the adults responsibility to protect children. This article just makes me sick to my stomach!!
The 3rd point is where I’d like to learn more. Can you really take that to court? I’m genuinely interested in the answer, because I don’t want to be putting that advice into practice otherwise
You can learn more about federal obscenity laws at waronillegalpornography.com. It’s a very neglected subject.
I am deeply saddened that your son…..our future….had to endure this. I would of hoped an adult would of spoke up for him. This is the devil trying to reach our kids.our children of the future. We are grandparents and blessed our daughter stopped teaching school to homeschool our grandkids…there children.Not because of any other reason. ..than Christian Values.Yes good Christian Values.Now your unfortunate happening will need to be discussed with our grandkids. This saddens our hearts for your son and pray he can mindfully overcome and grow spiritually closer to God. Have a blessed day.
Passenger should have been arrested for sexual abuse, flight attendant should have been fired. Period.
The man with the porn committed sexual assault, plain and simple. He should be on a state registry wherever this offense took place. I applaud your efforts and your son for reporting this to you.
This is NOT a parenting issue, nor a “child should have…” issue. If someone chooses to have sex in a public place, they get arrested. No one would be chastising the parents for “bad parenting” if their child was walking through the park and came upon two people in the midst of a sex act. Please explain why it is Ok and considered a “right” to expose ANYONE, whether child or adult, to the same thing – only on the screen. Sorry, CW, this isn’t a “freedom” thing. What you are talking about is hedonism, pure and simple. We all know hedonistic societies don’t last long.
Finally, someone with reason.
To the adult who stated the parents should have been a parent is so inappropriate!!! I am extremely protective of my children. A 14 year old boy flying with a team of other adults on a good will trip to learn importance of charity negligent? Really?? Sending their 14 year old son on a domestic flight on a public airplane with a team of other adults where seats got inasvertently reassigned is not neglect!!! This hottible incident is completely and soley the negligence of the adult who exposed that teenager intionally, yes intentionally… it was no accident. Obviously this ignorant adult eho posted the comnent is not aware of the fact that that is a crime. I pray you are never the victim of any sort of crime, negligence or wrong doing of another.. because then you will see how offensive it is to be blamed for the horrendous act of a another. Ignorant comment !!! God bless you with compassion & wisdom, both of which you clearly lack.
Very sad! Lord only knows what that type of man would do behind closed doors. Regardless, it was completely selfish for him to do that! Unfortunately, many today are so selfish that they are completely unaware of how their poor choices affect others around them. I just prayed God would arrest his heart.
It would take a very brave & secure child to address a grown up (or the airline) in a highly effective manner.
I have a 16 year year old son. I’m sure if my son was in that same situation, he probably would have “glanced” at what the man was watching. Adults should act like adults and children are going to be curious whether right or wrong. It is in their nature to be curious. The man watching the porn will have to answer to God one day about his addiction. He would have been arrested for contributing porn to a minor and any other adult who saw this happening and chose not to get involved. The child is NOT to blame. The adults ARE to blame. Micah, I so sorry one of your boys was subjected to this. I’m praying for you, Michael, and your son.
Micah, my sister-in-love, I am very proud of you for putting yourself out there and standing for truth. Don’t listen to the lies of the enemy from some of the responses but hear the “voice of truth!” Keep being a light. Thank you for helping others to foresee the dangers ahead!
I agree with Heather for several reasons: 1) Pornography has been shown to reduce one’s sensitivity to violence, both on-screen and off. 2) If someone makes the choice to view porn, it should be in a place where others – especially minors – will be unable to view it. 3) There are millions of people of both genders struggling to heal after years of addiction to pornography and the resultant scars on their hearts and relationships.
Your son could have asked for another seat. Or could have told the flight attendant himself.
Oh, so easy to suggest but not many that age or so wishfully assertive.
He could have, but, look, the man is supposed to be an adult, the child is not. The reality is the man needs to be held responsible for his obscene behavior.
Bottom line is the “adult” watching porn sitting anywhere near a child is a preditor..a pedophile . This is a common way pedophiles groom their victims , thank God your child was not physically hurt. As a law enforcement officer my job is to hunt these individuals and bring them to justice, so as you can imagine , whether they’re “sick” or have a “problem “, I have zero tolerance for them. Your son is NOT to blame for this individuals disgusting behavior and shame on those who blame the child! May God give us the strength and disernment to fight against this disease of pornography
Just like the woman about to be raped “should” have screamed louder. Sorry. Trauma response causes a “freezing” of the rational thought processes. Stop trying to blame the child, parents or leaders and try looking at where the problem REALLY is: the insensitive man who chose to victimize those around him (not to mention HIMSELF) and the other adults who stood by and said nothing.
I don’t know any 14 year olds who wouldn’t be paralyzed and shocked by this incident. It’s crazy to suggest that this kid is to blame for not standing up for himself – how intimidating to complain when the man was right there, plus, it was obviously the flight crew who were completely negligent.
If I saw this taking place, I would publicly shame the man and then tell the stewardess to do something about it. If she didn’t, and he wouldn’t stop, I would ask for a cup of coffee. I would then absolutely drop a that cup of coffee on his comptuer/ipad accidentally.
Right on.
Hellz yeah!!! People of principle take note!
Yes! Love it! And as a larger than average male myself (5’11”, 250lbs.) who’s in good enough condition to run for over a 1/2 hour, I’d dare him to do something about it! Great suggestion! If I ever encounter a situation similar to this, in the air or on the ground, I’ll know EXACTLY what to do. Thanks! Really, I see this as an indictment on the adults (particularly the men) around this blindsided young man who knew what was going on and did nothing. I’d rather have a black eye, broken nose, broken arm, and cracked ribs (if it actually came to that) than not be able to sleep at night knowing I could’ve done something to help this young man, yet cowered away.
I hope you file a police report and have this man punished for child abuse and sexual abuse. The other man and flight attendant need to be in trouble also. Do not stop until something is done. Show your son that this is unacceptable. I havent read your posts before but I hope you believe in spiritual warfare and pray over your son against this opening for the enemy into his mind and life.
The airline has a record of who was sitting in that seat, so there’s no excuse for not pressing charges.
Anyone who thinks this boy did anything “wrong” needs to read up on sexual abuse and it’s victims. That is exactly the kind of talk this young man has probably already told himself in his head, and will have to fight through for some time. Anyone who further implies these kind of notions to him is not helping, but in fact inflicting secondary abuse. As someone who has been sexually abused in the past, I can now say with confidence that although there were many opportunities for me to speak up, I was not the one at fault. It is ALWAYS the adults responsibility. Period. There is an inexplicable shock, paralysis, and fear of consequences that comes over you. If the scenarios described here are 100% accurate, it was every adults responsibility who realized what was happening to put an end to it. But when adults don’t put a stop to the activity, doubt takes hold, “maybe it wasn’t really wrong. If nobody else is going to stand up for me, how can I do it?” The fact that the boy spoke up afterwards is hugely commendable and speaks of his character and conscience. This is a very sad story indeed, and I hope it inspires more people to stand up and take action.
The adults in the group should have never allowed the child to be separated from the rest of the group. She did not say whether there were other children in the group but if they were, they should have been seated together. A child should never be placed in a position where he is the only one in a group who is seated by themselves. They should always have at least one other person they know with them. I blame the people in the group for not watching out for the child as well as the man doing the watching.
Wow. I’m so sorry this happened to you and him. I will be praying for you both. I have a son his age and feel your pain. God can replace those images over time and heal his memory. Have hope.
That’s awful. I’m an adult and am not easily upset, but having to cram into an airline seat next to someone watching porn would be horrifying to me. Subjecting a young teen to that is atrocious. And putting it on the kid to tell the creepy grown man to stop is ridiculous. Sure, it would have been good if he had done something, but he shouldn’t have to. It’s not a fourteen year old’s job to police the behavior of adults on a plane.
What to do?
1. Politely ask him not to.
2. Politely complain to the flight attendant and ask him to have it stopped.
3. Ask the.flight attendant for a blanket and ask the pervert to cover his head and iPod with it.
4. Film the man watching it and make sure you get his face, the film and his sear number in it. Tell him you will give it to law enforcement when you land.
5. Start praying out loud and reading the Bible too. Sing a few hymns.
6. Tell the guy you don’t mind going back to jail, and rearrange his device for him.
My son went on a missions trip when he was (l6?). We did not accompany him. Not everyone has the financial resources to do that.
As a parent I would be FURIOUS about this too! As a flight attendant for a major airline I am very frustrated by this. For the past 23 years we were told to tell the offending passenger to stop reading/watching anything objectionable (even rated R movies). But until recently we’re told that we “aren’t supposed to judge them” and therefor can’t tell them to stop. Only if it interferes with our duty to maintain a (physically) safe environment can we stop it. HOWEVER, I personally have witnessed this and put a stop to it regardless of what my employer tells me to do. I stopped a man watching it WITH his son right next to the restrooms where others could see it. I was appalled! If that man was a respectable person we could expect decent behavior. It puts flight attendants in very awkward situations to be the “air police” when we just want a smooth flight and to serve you a Coke.
Bless you, Kristin! I fly a lot and have dear friends who are flight attendants–I know y’all put up with a lot. Thank you for intervening to protect children, even if your employer doesn’t want you to. We are called to a higher standard of love and care when it comes to children. Thank you.
Micah, I am very glad you followed-up with Delta but, as several commenters have already mentioned, please also follow-up with law enforcement. What that man did likely constituted a federal and state crime. File a complaint with the FBI using the information on this website: http://www.justice.gov/criminal-ceos/report-violations (I suggest calling the local field office in your hometown as well as the Child Exploitation and Obscenity Section directly at the number on that website.)
After contacting the FBI, depending on the response you get, you may need to also contact local law enforcement in your hometown. Jurisdiction may be tricky since this happened in the air across multiple states (which is why I think you should start with the FBI) but I would contact the police or sheriff in your hometown as well as the attorney general for your home state (look for the sex crimes division or the victims assistance divisions).
Additionally, if Delta knew about it or should have known about it they may have some civil (lawsuit) and criminal liability as well. Consider looking for an attorney who could help you use this incident to put pressure on Delta to change their ways.
Finally, consider sending this story to local news media. It would definitely put your family (and especially your son) in the spotlight, but maybe shaming Delta publicly will bring about some needed change.
Thanks so much for writing this and standing up to Delta already!
CW,
I feel sorry for your line of reasoning thinking this is a case about parenting. This guy is addicted to porn and his addiction destroyed any sense of morality that would have allowed him to shield a kid from exposure.
You need to call the police and file a complaint. That man exposing a minor to pornography is illegal. Call the State Attorney General of your state, and the state to which they were traveling. Call the FBI, they traveled from one state to another and this may make it a Federal issue. Contact television news stations. Contact an attorney about filing suit against the airline, when they allow an unaccompanied minor on board, they are accepting a certain level of liability to protect the child. (When the separated your son from the group, he became unaccompanied by default). Be certain that your son know you love him, he did nothing wrong, and it is important that the grown ups protect and defend him. Pray, Pray, Pray. . . your son can never unsee what he saw, but God can give grace and fade it away.
Praying for you and your family.
Very troubling story! 14 years old is probably the most difficult time of life for a guy! I hope this horrible event will provide opportunities for your husband to love on your son and assure him that he did nothing wrong and reinforce to him how careful we must be in this depraved world! I’m thankful that he was not physically assaulted by this cretin. God bless you and your family!
I can empathize with all of the above commenters, except for not yet being the parent of a teenager (yet). As a man, however, having lived through this same stage of life I can attest to the near-irresistability of having similar situations thrust upon me. Some kids would be strong enough to speak up or remove themselves from the situation. I usually wasn’t early on, and that was due to a general lack of self-confidence and the ability to stand up for myself in ANY situation where my convictions were tested. (A question for the mother: how does your son deal with peer pressure in other areas at school?) A child’s self-confidence is built up over time, as is the courage to stand up for their convictions. This is due, to a large degree, in how parents foster self-confidence in their children at basic level. I don’t mean to be overly critical of the mother in this story. I simply want to draw attention to an underlying and extremely important aspect to all of this, and that is the overall level of assertiveness a child has or doesn’t have. I was not very assertive as a kid. Cosequently I gave in and kept quiet about certain temptations more than other Christian kids who had a very healthy level of self-esteem. Obviously self-esteem and assertiveness are not the only issues here. They’re just ones that affected me directly in the struggle with pornography growing up.
Also, I’m not trying to the blame the son for what happened. The man involved should be prosecuted and others around him should have spoken up as well. But as a Christian I am constantly finding myself angered at how the world pollutes me. The truth is, I can selcom control, in many situations, how the world’s pollution invades my personal space when I am in public. Society will go its own way. That doesn’t preclude standing up for decency in the public sphere. But truly, all we can really do is control our own behavior and the conditions in which we foster spiritual fortitude in our own lives. The world and its injustices will always cause us grief. The only thing we can be sure of is how well we are spiritually armored to deal with those disgusting, unforseen situations.
Please provide the contact information to Delta Airlines; I would like to call them. Furthermore, I cannot imagine that a short account of this story would not go viral on Facebook. Consider posting a video account of the story on all social media platforms to raise awareness and get the attention of the airline industry. You would be doing a great service for others who may find themselves, or their children, in a similar situation.
I believe this link on Delta’s website would be a great place to start.
We once had a neighbor (a young single man who practiced as a chiropractor in another part of the city) who watched hardcore porn on his big screen TV. Problem was, he also kept his curtains open when he did so, and whatever was on the TV was easily seen from my 11 year old daughter’s room. I confronted him on this to no avail. My husband confronted him. We wrote him a letter asking him to stop. I assumed that I had no legal recourse since it was something he was doing in the “privacy” of his home. Finally, I called the police to ask what I could do about it, and what my resources might be. They told me that exposing children to pornography is a class 3 felony in our state. They visited him and warned him. He immediately put up curtains, and moved away about a year later. The police never contacted us about it and my wish now is that I had chosen to pursue the matter with them to see what might have happened. Regardless of what “responsibility” your young son – a CHILD – might have had, this man was truly in the wrong. No one stepped in to protect this CHILD. No one took responsibility when a class 3 felony was being committed against a CHILD. It would be great if we could always be there to protect our children, but everytime they leave our homes to go to school, a friend’s house, the corner store, or a seat on an airplane they are vulnerable. Should we “parent” them constantly so that they never have the freedom to leave the house or sit on a plane? There would be extreme criticism for us as parents if we were to protect them in such a manner. Let’s place the blame where it is warranted – directly on the selfish depraved individual who committed a class 3 felony in exposing your CHILD to porn and vow to protect all the children in humanity’s care by refusing to remain silent when these actions are observed. I am so sorry for your pain, and for the slime that was visited upon your son, and I am praying that God would, in the words of the Lord’s prayer “deliver him from evil.”
It is so sad that even in this very post there are those who do not see the wrong done in so many ways. The one man to commit such degradation so openly in public but especially to so freely infect such a young mind for that length of time. But the other sad part is that there must have been so many that could see what was going on and not one had the inclination to try to stop it. It does seem to show a decline in moral standards though I do believe this type of behavior always was there it’s just the increased population makes it more evident.
Keep in mind where this thread began…on a website dedicated to helping people protect and heal themselves from the ravages of pornography…Most of us are sensitive to the potential harms…the general public on the other hand no longer shares this perspective to the extent that could have once been expected. It is also telling that even here, the poisonous notion of adults and children holding equal moral responsibility presents itself. Incidents like this are considerably complex as the differing viewpoints can attest. Micah’s anger is righteous and appropriate. This is not an issue we can simply dismiss.
You say take action. I hope you have taken action and refuse to stop causing a ruckus over this. File a complaint with the airline against the flight crew. File a complaint against the airline with the proper outlet (BBB?). File charges in every state which the plane flew over against the passenger for enticing a minor with illicit imagery. File a federal complaint if you have to. Go public. Have your child prepare a testimony against the man and share your story with media outlets. Do whatever it takes to show that this sort of behavior is abominable. In the meantime, prepare your heart to forgive the man on every level for such an outrage – the very moment he repents. Then you will show the true love of our Savior.
For the love of God, anyone who thinks that this child or his parents are in any way to blame may have mental issues of their own. I too, am sick of political correctness and I firmly believe in and understand rights but that man’s rights end where that child’s rights begin . That young man has the right to his innocence, to his childhood, to be able to ride on an airplane with a group his parents deemed responsible chaperones to go and do Gods work and give of his time to help victims of hurricane Sandy without becoming a victim of sexual exploitation and assault . Where is the respect ? Where is decency? Morals? There is no way I would have sat there and not said anything. The men and women who came before us and fought for this country’s rights and freedoms believed in a code of honor, decency and respect. This country was built on Christian values and ethics and it was not a “nanny” state , it was a matter of respecting one another and supporting each other as parents to protect our youth from evil in any form. It is a universal duty to God to protect children at all cost. I personally, am tired of being offended daily by the bombardment of the sexual exploitation of women and this society’s inability to inhibit itself. Enough already.
Doesn’t Delta have the name and contact information of the man sitting in the seat next to your son? it seems to me that exposing a minor to pornography breaks a few laws. It doesn’t seem too late to take action and file a report.
Dear Micah
I’m sorry your son sat next to the devil.
Society has made it impossible for your son, or anyone other than an ostrich, to live life free from pornography. Long before boarding that airplane, your son, like all of us, was –and probably will continue to be- bombarded by snippets of porn every single day. Hopefully, we each learn to cope: turn the page, turn the channel, walk away, engage in a safe activity, call a friend, etc. If lucky we minimize our exposure. But, the more we are confronted, the more our brain absorbs, the greater our challenge and eventually, the weaker our resolve.
We all must deal with porn’s visual onslaught. If the person in question happens to be a healthy adolescent male with testosterone abubbling, and an age-appropriate insatiable interest in all things female, watch out! Circumstances conspired against your son. There is plenty opportunity for blame: certainly the most culpable being the sleezy sicko (aka: Mr. XXX) seated beside your son, Delta Airlines, the cabin flight attendants, nearby passengers, your son’s youth group leaders, etc.
Rather than assign blame, I’d prefer to make sure you know exactly what you are dealing with.
Mr. XXX is a PERVERT
Per Webster’s Dictionary: Pervert…..one morally corrupt, deviating greatly from what is considered right and correct. One who watches porn in public is a pervert?
Mr. XXX is a PEDOPHILE
Per Webster’s Dictionary: Pedophile……one having a sexual interest in children. Would Mr. XXX have watched his porn sitting next to another adult? I think not! Mr. XXX was keenly interested in your son’s reaction.
Mr. XXX is a PREDATOR
Per Webster’s Dictionary: Predator…one addicted to victimizing or destroying others for personal gain. By exposing your son to porn Mr. XXX may have been exhibiting a classic trait of the SEXUAL PREDATOR. Mr. XXX was likely trolling for his next victim.
If an exhibitionist, Mr. XXX may have been satisfied just watching your son’s confusion. Or perhaps, if a predator, Mr. XXX may have been laying groundwork for some anticipated future sexual abuse.
Micah, I suspect you just want this whole mess to end. That would, however be shortsighted. I would urge you to pursue the matter with the police. Mr. XXX emotionally raped your son. That’s not necessarily a criminal act (there was no physical damage) but surely it was an emotional assault. Your son has been traumatized and the effects may linger for years. Unfortunately, I speak from personal experience. Filing a police report will allow Delta to now do the right thing and release the seating manifest to the police. Mr. XXX can be identified. Quite likely, this was not Mr.XXX’s first act of public perversion. The weight of your voice may allow the parents of other juvenile victims to come forward. Left unchallenged, Mr. XXX will surely victimize another child . And, left unchallenged, Mr. XXX will eventually sexually abuse and assault another youngster.
Regards,
Greg Janowski
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Greg Janowski
Micah I would be willing to talk with you and /or your son if you feel it might help. CovenentEyes can give you my contact info. Try getting your son to meet with a counselor. Have you researched ASCA Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse . They were very helpful when I finally realized my childhood trauma was still affecting me.
God Bless and Good Luck
I would like to know more about Federal Obscenity laws that were mentioned in the article. I am a parent who is concerned about protecting my own kids. I have seen people with obscene tattoos at our local rec. center pool. I have tried my best to shield my kids from seeing. Also, saw someone walking by with a t-shirt with what I guess is anime porn on the front. I was very thankful my kids weren’t with me at the time. I’ve wondered if there were laws or regulations against these kinds of things. It seems to be getting more common. I would like more resources. Thank you and thank you for what you are doing through Covenant Eyes.
Great question. I would refer you to the website waronillegalpornography.com.
I have struggled with pornography for most of my life. Through a solid 12 step program, CE, counseling and mentoring I have been able to break the chains that tore down my soul and kept me captive for 35+ years. Looking back, if I was this 14 year old boy, it would have only added to my already shamed world and given me more material to use, rather than help me break free. Why is it ok to allow the minority to rule what is should be “good or not good” in life? 1000’s of flights take off each day and I am sure very little porn is viewed like this (given the overall # of flights), and yet we have to make accommodations for one person’s poor choices? Why is it remotely ok for one human to make the choice to harm another? I needed help at 14. I needed an adult to come beside me and help me see the impact of my choices. I needed another to help me see that I was loved and searching in the wrong place to feel good, worthy, loved and accepted. Unfortunately that did not happen. A man like this, albeit probably unknowingly, helps chain more souls to pornography. Make the choice, we all have that ability. God wants us to love ourselves, love one another and love Him. Situations like this only raise the walls higher between ourselves, God and those around us. I hope your son can talk openly about it. I couldn’t have at 14. I kept that part of my life locked away for many years. The damage is done and I am rebuilding, slowly, day by day supported by God’s wonderful Grace.
I am so sorry this happened. Praying that God would work in his mind and that He would take preeminence in your son’s thoughts. The fact that this cannot be unseen is so sad.
Also, I cannot believe the people who would comment negatively about you or your son. This is an issue that shows the selfishness and complete lack of common sense this addiction causes. Confronting this head on is the right approach. Thank you for standing for truth and praying for you and your family as you walk in truth among the lies that are lurking everywhere we look. May He take those thoughts captive and throw them as far as the east is from the west!
I think the airline should you provide the name and mailing address of the man in that seat, certainly they have records, and that you should press charges for every violation possible, like public obscenity, child protection, etc. This is ridiculous. How horrifying. We don’t yet live in Japan where pornography movies are played in public transportation.But if we aren’t careful, we may be.
Very troubling story! 14 years old is probably the most difficult time of life for a guy!