Sex peddlers. Porn. Predators. Purity rings. This year has been a busy one on the Covenant Eyes blog — filled with interesting topics. Dozens of interviews. Hundreds of articles. Hundreds of thousands of visitors.
These are the top 10 most popular articles we published this year.
10. How to Quit Porn: 6 Essential Steps
Dr. Doug Weiss, one of the nation’s foremost authorities on sex addiction, briefly outlines the critical steps one must take to walk away from pornography addiction.
9. Why is Porn Addictive?
This article summarizes what Dr. William Struthers, author of Wired for Intimacy, teaches about the hormones and neurotransmitters involved in porn addiction.
8. How Do I Keep My Husband From Looking At Pornography?
In this post, recovery group leader John Doyel explains the things a wife should and should not do to help her husband say no to temptation.
7. More Than Porn: Accountability in the Gray Areas
The Internet is full of temptations and diversions, and often we justify indulgence because “it isn’t porn.” This article explores the need for accountability in this area of our lives.
6. 5 Reasons Purity Rings and Pledges Don’t Work
Jessica Harris, founder of Beggar’s Daughter, explains why wearing a purity ring is not the same as choosing to be pure.
5. Who Buys Sex? Linking Porn and Human Trafficking
Benjamin Nolot, director and producer of the Nefarious documentary trilogy, explains that when men pay to view sex, they aren’t too far from taking the step to buy sex.
4. Girls Like Porn, Too: A Timely Message to Parents
Teen girls are not immune from porn temptations. In this article parents are given dozens of practical tips for preparing their daughters for a sexualized culture.
3. Hope After Porn: Our Marriage Would Never Be the Same
Laura Booz, co-author of Hope After Porn, talks about the day she walked out on Ryan after finding evidence of his porn addiction. From that day forward, things began to change.
2. Caught By a Predator: Woman Speaks Out 10 Years After Her Abduction
When she was 13 years old, Alicia Kozakiewicz was abducted and tortured by a man she met online. A decade after her rescue, she gave Covenant Eyes a candid interview.
1. Bullying Statistics: Fast Facts About Cyberbullying
This article gives a quick snapshot of the problem of cyberbullying among youth today.
Pure Minds Online | Issue 27 | December 2012 | More in this issue: Why Do Men Binge on Porn? | Christian Hip Hop Artists Speak Out Against Sexual Sin | A New Year’s Resolution You Can Keep
I am a Mom of four beautiful, great children. Not perfect but overall, very very blessed to have them. They range from 24, 22, 15 and 13. Oldest three are boys and youngest a girl. Recently my 24 year old confided in me about how he feels. He has been dating his girlfriend now for 4 years. A very good Christian girl from a very good Christian family. He loves her and believes she is the one he wants to spend his life with. She is ready to commit and is sure she wants to be with him. Trouble is, my son, Josh is battling with thoughts about whether he is ready to commit to Siobhan (that is her name). Reason being: he feels the pull to try out other relationships. He is worried that if he commits himself to Siobhan, would he always be wonder what it would have been like and would he eventually actually want to try it out other relationships? In other words – will he cheat because he’d always be curious? He is afraid that he could be like his father. His father has eventually left our marriage of 27 years this April and is now exploring women on online dating and was a porn user in our years of marriage. His secret life was revealed seven years ago. The betrayal came as a heartbreaking shock to us and all our families and friends as he was not the man we all thought he was as he portrayed himself to be. I am convinced he fits every symptom of a narcissist but of course he would deny it as he is now denying his addiction while at the same time keeping books on addiction very close by. Saw him reading one just today. As hard as it was, we tried to work on the relationship in the last seven years but I fear the devil has won him over (just for now we hope) — the kids and I still pray for him every night that he would turn his life around. Now I worry for my sons. I don’t believe they will go down that same track because despite the secret life their dad was leading, we still brought the kids up in knowing, loving, fearing and honoring God. I am a God fearing woman whose faith is strong and tries my utter best to live out my faith to the best of my abilities to please Him. Not perfect but I try my very best. So, I am writing to ask if you would please recommend some articles or resources I could recommend my son to help him in his struggle to live a life that would be pleasing to God and that would save him and those that will come into his life from the destructive ways of the devil? Your help will deeply be appreciated in this serious matter. Thanking you. Lidwina (mother)
First, it breaks my heart to hear about your own marriage falling apart. It sounds like your children got an up-close-and-personal look at how porn can wreck things, so I hope helps them to think about making good decisions for themselves.
As far as Josh is concerned, I understand his concern. I’ve been there myself many times. There really is no “right” answer to this because there are many factors to consider.
First, there’s his heart and motives. For many of us, there’s always this “grass is greener on the other side” feeling, and no matter who you are dating, that feeling will be there. Who’s to say that if he were with someone else, that feeling would disappear entirely and he would find contentment? No one really knows that. But it is vital for him to not think beyond that feeling and really assess his heart in this relationship. He needs to ask his heart questions beyond merely how he feels about Siobhan. He should pray through passages of Scripture that really reveal what a wonderful wife is like (Proverbs 31; 1 Peter 3; Ephesians 5) as he asks himself whether Siobhan is growing into that kind of woman.
Second, there are his fears to consider. A man can stay faithful to his wife, not when he feels like he’s married “the one,” but when he is deeply committed to God’s vision for marriage and stays close to Him. As one very wise man told me the day after my honeymoon: “Make sure your marriage defines your love, not that your love defines your marriage.” If Josh and Siobhan are both generally compatible in their personal temperaments and they are both mature enough to grown through difficulties, then they are better off than 90% of couples today.
Third, there is the lust factor to consider. Perhaps Josh is basing his thoughts somewhat on the fact that he still finds other women more physically attractive that Siobhan. Unfortunately for some men, this thought scares them into never marrying anyone. It is easy to get into this mentality when we are surrounded by so many lust-provoking images in our culture. Again, the key here is to stay close to the Lord and for Josh to check his own heart in this regard.