3 minute read

Not Just a Guy’s Problem – Women and Porn Addiction

Last Updated: February 20, 2014

Crystal Renaud-Day

Crystal Renaud Day is a pastoral counselor and certified coach with over a decade of experience working with women, couples, and teen girls. She holds a Master of Arts in Pastoral Counseling: Life Coaching from Liberty University. Crystal owns and operates Living on Purpose Coaching & Pastoral Counseling and is the founding director of SheRecovery.com (formerly Dirty Girls Ministries), an online ministry helping women overcome porn and sexual addiction. Her work has been featured in the New York Times, ABC News, CNN, Christianity Today, The 700 Club, and more. She has authored several books including 90 Days to Wholeness and Dating Done Right.

“I find myself feeling such sadness, frustration, disappointment [and] anger and shame. It’s like I can hear Satan laughing in my ear once again.”

“I want to get away from the pain and guilt, and the erasing of the internet history, and the wasted time in my room with the door locked, feeling dirtier and dirtier inside.”

“I’m tired of fighting, and too ashamed and afraid that if I share my struggle that I will be judged and treated as an outcast.”

Sound familiar at all?

These are real quotes from real people who struggle with pornography addiction. But what if I told you they were also from all women?

Do I have your attention now?

Whether you believe it or not, women are addicted to pornography, and the number of addicted women is growing every single day.

According to a recent survey, 1 in 3 visitors to adult websites are women and 17% of all women (both Christian and non-Christian) struggle with an addiction to pornography.

To those who believe porn is only a problem for men, these numbers are pretty astonishing. But for the women who struggle, these numbers are almost comforting because it means we’re not alone.

Hi, I am Crystal Renaud, and I am a porn addict. Well, at least I used to be.

Beginning at the age of 10, I struggled with a long-term pornography addiction—an addiction I battled in silence, alone and very much in shame, until I was almost 18 years old.

My addiction first began when I found a porno magazine in my older brother’s bathroom. What started out as the curiosity of a young girl, quickly escalated to something dark and completely out of control—even to the point of questioning my own sexual orientation.

Sin had taken over and taken me down a path of what seemed like no return. With no friends and no passions, I had one mission and purpose in my life: pornography, and adhering to my addiction.

Any way I could find it, I would. And it didn’t matter where I was or what I was doing. Whether I was home, at school, at my friend’s houses, at summer camp and yes, even at church: my addiction came too. And no matter how many times I said I would stop, I would just keep doing it.

But why? Why did I enjoy something so much and hate myself so much for doing it all at the same time?

I was addicted.

I wasn’t just addicted to the pornography: I was also addicted to my own body chemistry. I was addicted to how it made me feel physically, but more so, how it made me feel emotionally.

Pornography filled a void for intimacy and acceptance that I wasn’t receiving in my life. Pornography was comfort. Pornography was safe. Pornography was my drug and I couldn’t function without getting my fix.

By fully surrendering my life and my addiction to the Lord and beginning to see myself for how He sees me, freedom from my addiction finally started to seem possible. But it wasn’t until I finally shared my struggle with a friend, that the addiction became so much easier to handle.

And maybe you are a woman reading this post today who needs to get real about your addiction to pornography. I pray today is that day. By the grace of God, my life has been restored to one of freedom, and it is possible for you as well.

I am speaking to you today as someone who knows the bondage that pornography creates in the hearts, minds and spirits of women who are addicted. But what I’ve noticed in my 14+ years of experience with pornography addiction and counseling women is the lack of resources available to aid women in overcoming the addiction. And there’s also a complete lack of acknowledgement that pornography is even a problem for women among the Christian community.

And I feel God has called to me to write the resource that hasn’t yet been written and address this issue head-on.

Through the book, Dirty Girls: The New Porn Addicts, I will be discussing the widespread yet silent battle women are facing with pornography addiction. By using my personal story of redemption, along with Biblical and practical tools for recovery, I want to show women they are not alone in their battle; we share the hope that freedom from pornography addiction is possible.

Help is on the way. But God is already ready to meet you right where you stand. He loves you the way you are, and He loves you too much to let you stay that way.

For more information about Dirty Girls, to participate in a survey, or to just get real about your addiction through confession visit TheNewPornAddicts.com today.