Brain Chemicals, Kirk Franklin, and Walking Trees
One of the most frustrating things I found in my search for freedom was the slowness of my progress. Why, if God is so good and so powerful, did he not heal me at once?
I was recently thinking about one of the strangest Gospel stories – the story of the blind man’s healing outside Bethsaida. Several of Jesus’ own disciples were natives of Bethsaida, and Jesus had performed many miracles there. In this familiar setting the blind man is brought to Jesus by certain people begging Jesus to touch him. Jesus led him by the hand outside of the small village, spat on his eyes, laid hands on him and asked, “Do you see anything?” The man replied, “I see men, but they look like trees, walking.” Apparently his vision was still cloudy, foggy. Jesus laid hands on him again and this time his vision was completely restored (Mark 8:22-26).
Why this progressive healing?
It’s the only text I know of that shows Jesus healing in this manner. I’ve read and heard a whole host of potential reasons why Jesus would do this. Some say Jesus was showing the blind man, and hence us, that He is sovereign over healing: he chooses how it is done. Some believe that Jesus was building this man’s faith: he was brought to Jesus by others but had little or no faith himself. Some believe that Jesus is illustrating to his disciples how he will heal their spiritual blindness and confusion: slowly and progressively. Some see this merely as a two-stage healing: one natural, the other supernatural. The spit on his eyes merely separated his eyelids that were gummed shut; the second act of laying on hands was to perform the miracle of new sight.
We simply aren’t told the reason why.
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Pornography Addiction
I’m learning more and more that sexual addiction, such as pornography addiction, has a very real biological element. Repeated visits to pornographic websites condition our bodies to receive endorphins and enkephalins (chemicals in the brain). These chemicals are highly addictive. We literally carry within us our own source of addictive chemicals.
I recently read an interesting transcript from the “Hearing on the Brain Science Behind Pornography Addiction and the Effects of Addiction on Families and Communities.” One of the contributors, Mary Anne Layden, Co-Director of the Sexual Trauma and Psychopathology Program at the University of Pennsylvania, calls pornography an “equal opportunity toxin” and highlights both the biological and psychological effects of repeated pornography use. I love what she says here: “There are no studies and no data that indicate a benefit from pornography use. If there were a benefit, then pornography users, pornography performers, their spouses and their children would show the most benefit. Just the opposite is true. The society is awash in pornography and so in fact the data are in. If pornography made us healthy, we would be healthy by now.”
I remember the very real physical side of my addiction. It was like a drug shooting through my system. I remember times lying in bed, thinking of going to visit internet pornography, literally shaking and convulsing as I thought about it.
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Kirk Franklin’s Testimony
Over two years ago Kirk Franklin appeared on Oprah to speak candidly about his pornography addiction. He first viewed pornography at the age of 8 and struggled with addiction for nearly 22 years. He talks about how “it was literally like a drug calling me.” On the show the founder of the Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles, Rob Weiss, said the drug for pornography addicts is “their own neurochemistry . . . I talk to guys who say that hours and hours and hours go by, and they’re not even aware of the time change because they’re so filled with adrenalin and dopamine and serotonin.”
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Will Jesus Heal Me of My Addiction
All this being said, being delivered from pornography addiction is not unlike seeking the Lord for other types of physical healing. Jesus the Great Physician needs to come and heal not only our spirits and our minds, but also our bodies as well.
But will he heal us progressively or at once? I’ve met men who fall into different categories, but most of the time the healing comes gradually.
Like the blind man, I want be healed right there and then. Jesus, instead, takes me by the hand and takes me somewhere else, somewhere unexpected. Like the blind man, I expect Jesus’ first touch to make me whole. Jesus, instead, wipes away the grime and grit first allowing me to see the root of my pain and my sinful choices. Like the blind man, I needed to be brought to Jesus by loving friends, people who didn’t want me to stay the way I was. Jesus, again, shows Himself both amazingly good and incredibly sovereign in my journey towards being whole and living holy. Like the blind man, I begin to see . . . and Jesus, who is the same yesterday, today, and forever, does not leave me among the walking trees: He finishes what He starts.
Thanks for this open and courageous discussion. I am a Christian Mental Health therapist, and I occasionally work with men with porn or sexual addiction. I will put your letter in my repetoire to let them read as they begin their journey, hopefully with more patience as a result of your well-placed words.
Having been an addict for several years, I am finally entering into the healing process. It is very frustrating sometimes, when I think on how I want to be, at the level of purity my father or older friends have. Yet then I think on how I used to be and the fact that He has brought me thus far over a years amount of time is comforting. Like the blind man, I will just have to stumble along until I myself have enough clarity to lead those around me.
Thanks for the article. I don’t think it comes as news to anyone addicted to pornography that it actually physically controls you. I have found one further problem with this addiction, however. It is very difficult to enter into and enjoy normal, healthy sexual relationships with this addiction. Even when I have not been indulging my lust, I find this to be a problem. My wife is beautiful, but she does not look like the stereotypical woman on a porn site, and I have found that I don’t get that rush from her that I get from pornography. It’s pitiful, I know. Could you at some time comment on how to deal with this? I sometimes wonder if I’m the only one.
@Bob – Thanks for your comment. This is certainly a problem for many men whose minds have been submerged in pornography, especially for long periods of time.
I remember an article I read by Naomi Wolf called “The Porn Myth.” It describes this same problem among single men: porn deadens our libido real live women who can’t measure up to “porn standards.” This is sad because so much of porn is fake: pixels, camera angles, lighting, breast implants, and scripted pleasures.
I wrote a post a while back called “Getting to the Root of Lust.” In that post I talk about what I’ve learned about the nature of my own pattern of lust. For me, the outward attractiveness and demeanor of the “fantasy woman” (conditioned greatly by what my culture tells me is attractive) is only a prop my mind uses to validate myself. When I really look deep I realize my lustful fantasies are really more about me than about the woman. The post describes this in detail.
I also wrote a post for wives about why the physical “beauty” of porn stars is not really what men are drawn to. Oh, sure, on the surface, it is what men crave. But what we really love is the variety, the novelty, the ease of fantasy over relationships, and the ego-fulfillment porn brings. If our minds have been poluted by porn, our minds need to be rewired if we are going to find real sexual satisfaction in marriage.
I’m not trying to ignore the importance of physical attractiveness, but I believe God can redeem your mind so that your wife becomes your standard of beauty (in all senses, physical, emotional, spiritual, etc.).
I highly recommend picking up a copy of Sacred Sex, by Tim Alan Gardner. Great book on how God rewires our hearts so that the big ‘O’ of sex is not Orgasm, but Oneness.
I am a student in Kabale Uganda and am 22 years. Six days ago I got into the school computer labaratory and found that not many were there so I could get exreme privacy. I recieved Christ as my Lord and saviour in 2005 and He has blessed me with the wonderful gift of preaching and song but I dint realize how much lustful I have been till six days ago. Impacted in the excuse that, “its okay to watch this as coz I will preach better on it”, I typed porn on google search and there I began to view all this naked stuff. Within me I knew it wasnt what I should be watching but something caught me to it. To be honest, this happened during my Fasting period and for five days I even lost my appetite craving to watch more and more.
I decided to renew my fasting with a five day period prayer, am on the way and yesterday I began to sense God answer me, makng me to despise and hate what I was beginning to crave for. I praise God for He is faithful even when we are not and His patience towards us is to the extreme. Before I came to Him I was addicted to Marijuana, He derivered me but in a few days I sensed that porn might be stronger and It might be the greatest addiction per now. Thanks for your encouragement.
@Daniel – Thanks for this testimony. It is sad how our minds justify getting closer to temptation. I praise God that He has build new affections in your heart that make you hate the sin. I pray he continues to unearth the sins underneath the lust. Blessings!