Your Brain on Porn

Parenting the Internet Generation Ebook Cover

Watching just 5 hours of porn has been proven to significantly change people's sexual beliefs and attitudes. Find out 5 distinct ways that porn warps your brain, as well as 5 biblical ways to renew your mind and find freedom.

13 thoughts on “Break Porn Addiction: 5 Lessons I Learned Along the Way

  1. I have pointed a young man in our youth group to your website. He is thankful for it. I am thankful that I have found your group at the time that he needed it. I have a question for you. I help in youth and I know that you are working with youth as well. We currently have a couple over our youth group that does not stress the importance of how you carry yourself or modesty. I have a problem with this and my son can not even look at the “youth pastor’s” wife when she is speaking. She dresses immodest and doesn’t even mind turning around and shaking her bottom in front of the youth. How do I speak to this woman about what she is doing. She likes attention, but I think that it is creating unhealthy thoughts in our young men. She can get attention in a better way. I know that this is a hard question, but with no other adults helping in the room I can not speak to someone at my church.

    Thank you and God bless,
    Gina

    • Hi Gina,

      That’s a great question. If it were me having the conversation, I would start out by simply striking up a conversation about the subject of modest with her. Find our where she’s coming from. “I was reading in 2 Timothy 2 about what Paul says about the importance of modesty, and it really struck me how much this young generation needs to hear this message. What do you think about the importance of modesty?” Then ask her specifics. What do you think modesty is all about? What would you consider immodest? Is modesty important today? Why is it important? Should a woman do what she can to guard the eyes of men?

      This may get the ball rolling. This might give you more insight into her heart and may provide a bridge to a more personal conversation.

      I would also recommend you read some of our posts on modesty and learn a little more about the subject from a biblical and cultural perspective.
      1. “One Man’s Take on Modesty” (a biblical understanding of the subject)
      2. You might like our guests posts by Rachel Lee Carter, a Christian who works in the modeling industry: “A Model Uncovers the Truth about Modesty,” and “5 Ways to Transform an Immodest Wardrobe.”
      3. “What do Christian guys think about modesty?” (a survey among young men about modesty)
      4. “Straight Talk on Bikinis” (by Alyssa Shull)
      5. “Teaching Girls About the ‘Heart’ of Modesty” (podcast series)
      6. “Dressing with Dignity” (by Leslie Ludy)

      Hope this gives you a place to start, Gina.

  2. Am not a young man, am a familyman, am 63, but have erectile dysfunction and desire to overcome this sinful habit. Am not computer-literate, can only send or open any email with the help of my youngest Son. I desire to overcome the guilt this type of addiction brings–suffer from depression, anxiety, isolation, myriad phobias, disorientation–with the grace of GOD–want my marriage to be happy and re-built.

  3. I’m a young 23 yea old me,I have been suffering from pprn addiction for 11years now,since 2004,my life revolves around porn,I have made countless attempt to quit but realize it just keeps getting worst,I used to be one of smartest kid in my class but as soon as I became addicted I couldn’t even pass a simple alphabet exam,my entire brain has been destroyed by pornography..I am a Christian who grew up in a Christian family but I never told anyone about this,I’m just so scared,I feel like I can never be delivered or free,I really need help and prayers…Thank you.

    • Thanks for stopping by, Clovis. I know what it feels like to be enslaved to porn, and it can feel like a nightmare.

      The first step is talking to someone. Do you have anyone in your life you can speak to about this heart-to-heart?

  4. I am a preacher, I still struggle with porn. I need help. I have been praying about it.and I feel guilty everytime I fall into it again and again. What do I do.

    • Hello James – thank you for taking a small, but necessary step. You’ve known for a long time that you cannot simultaneously lead your flock into the light if you are living in darkness. There is hope! Here’s an e-book we wrote for pastors and others in ministry who struggle: http://www.covenanteyes.com/pastorhelp/ breaking free will require accountability of some kind. It’s hard to find that person when you’re in a ministry role (I know because I’ve been there), but don’t give up! If I can help further, please let me know.

      Peace, Chris
      Covenant Eyes

  5. Hi, I am a boy and I am 15 years old. I discovered pornography when I was very young (about 10) by mistake, I wanted to know what the word ‘sex’ meant and googled it into my computer and that led to me seeing some things that i shouldn’t have. My curiosity progressed from there and starting searching up more and more things. My dad discovered what I had been looking at through my search history one day and installed a safe search browser so I couldn’t access anything bad. My curiosity still got the better of me though and I would always find another way to see bad things. I also discovered the pleasure in masturbation way before discovering porn maybe when I was 7. All the up until about 13 I would look at YouTube videos every night and search away what I was curious about. As I’m sure you know, YouTube does not hide much in terms of sexual content. When I turned 13 I found out about pornography sites and up until then I had never seen anything quite as dirty and immoral as what I saw on the sites. It became a daily process. All the time I would be looking at things I shouldn’t. Then one day, I experienced God’s amazing love through a church conference and gave my life to Jesus. I was so happy and immediately stopped looking at porn. After about a month I sank back to the addiction and it enveloped my life once again. I was too ashamed and in dispair to turn back to God. After another 5 months I gave my life to God again and took it more seriously and got baptized. All was going well for about another month until I thought about the things I had seen and wanted to go back just for a taster. From there I have been battling the sin and going with out it for a few weeks then going back and repeating the process for too long. My dad is a pastor and he has no idea about what I have been through. I cannot tell him, it’s too hard. Please, tell me what I’m supposed to do. I have been praying and reading the bible every single day. The despair is too much to bear and I want to bring an end to it. I homeschool and don’t have many friends as I live in China as a missionary.

    • Hey David.

      First of all, I think you are incredibly brave for seeking help here. I’m so glad you did!

      And your bravery in doing such a hard thing here tells me that you can do the next hard thing. I think you already know what that is, right? You need to talk to your dad. You need his help and support, and I would encourage you to approach him that way: “Dad, I really need your help. I’ve been trying to deal with a difficult situation on my own for 5 years now. I’ve prayed, I’ve read my Bible, I’ve tried everything I know to do, and I need more help.” Ask him if he is willing to help you. If he says yes, then tell him what’s been going on.

      Here’s the thing, David. My husband and I were missionaries for many years. And while we were missionaries, my husband had a porn habit. Here’s an article he wrote about that, at A Life Overseas.

      In fact, many many many men who are missionaries and pastors have problems with porn. Why? Because they’re human, porn is out there, and there’s this huge shame factor when you’re a missionary or in ministry to admit that you’re doing something like this. Problem is, shame never heals anything, as you know! Shame and hiding only makes the problem worse.

      The only thing that heals us is Love, and the only way toward Love is honesty and vulnerability–telling the truth about ourselves and letting God’s Love be enough. God’s Love already IS enough (I think that’s what “It is finished” really means); accepting that it’s enough, even for the very hardest things, is our part.

      So, you asked what you’re supposed to do. And I think it’s talking to your dad. Asking for help. Getting the internet blocked and filtered so you can recover safely. Most of all, receiving the Love that is already enough for everything.

      Peace to you, Kay

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