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Accountability and Our Kids: Getting It Right

Parents are more aware than ever about the need for accountability with our kids. Thanks to the efforts of Covenant Eyes and others, we have more powerful tools to help us in those efforts. However, in our concern for our children, we can inadvertently do things that actually hinder a…

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Shame’s Massive Role in Porn Use

Many of us tend to think we feel shame in response to using pornography. What might surprise you however is that the reverse is also true. The more we feel shame, the more we will be drawn to use pornography. Why? Shame drives us to behaviors that reinforce the judgment…

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If You Love Her, Tell Her the Truth

Consistently, wives of sex addicts share with me how the lies and secrets their husbands keep from them hurt more than the sexual acting out itself. I asked a few of these wives the question, “Why do the lying and secrets hurt so much more than the acting out?” Here…

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3 Benefits of Using Covenant Eyes to Quit Porn

Porn has engulfed our culture like a tsunami. The statistics on pornography use, even among children, are staggering. Even worse, today’s hardcore porn is so extreme that it makes hardcore porn of the past look relatively innocent by comparison. But chances are, you already know about pornography’s harmful effects. There…

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When It’s Time to Start Fighting Back

Whether our own life was devastated by porn or a loved one’s, there comes a time in our healing journey when we start wanting to fight back. The question quickly becomes, “How?” How do I, the individual hurt by pornography, take on this supernaturally large steamroller powered by the porn…

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Marriage Is Not the Answer to Your Desire for Sex

It’s a line often heard in well-intentioned lessons on sexual purity: God created sex. It’s His. Pornography and premarital sex are just distortions of what God made that is good: sex within marriage. Those sexual desires you feel are good, you just need to channel them into marriage. (Or as…

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3 Tools Every Marriage Needs to Fight Porn Addiction

The day I stood at the altar, I wish someone would have told Craig and me that there are three tools every marriage needs to survive—grace, truth, and love. I wish someone would have also told us that these three tools must be used all at the same time—in conjunction—or…

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4 Reasons to Start Using Screen Accountability Today

Long gone are the days of dial up internet. Of home phones and chunky computers the whole family shares. Of AOL Instant Messenger. Of Xanga and MySpace. You get the picture. The internet has changed, and how we use it has changed too. We use apps instead of browsers. We take our phones with us…