Help Others Restore Integrity
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The Only Way Out – Former Porn Star Has a Message for Her Fans

Last Updated: April 13, 2015

Erica was a big name in the porn industry. She was the Playboy Special Editions Model of the Year in 2005, and the Penthouse Pet of the Month for April 2007. Erica represented the sex industry’s picture of “success.”  To many she was known as the “sweetheart” of soft-core porn.

Only now, she’s out of the porn business for good, and she has a message to her fans.

To all you porn fans, please read on . . .

[From Erica’s website]:

For a long time I have been very lost—so lost in myself and in the world—that I didn’t even REALIZE that I was lost. I have always thought of myself as a pretty good person. I love helping people, I love befriending people, I love animal rescue and rehab. I care a GREAT deal for my friends and family and ALWAYS do whatever I can to care for them and make sure that they are ok. For a long time I THOUGHT that I was doing the right thing . . . and doing my personal best. Well, I was wrong—dead wrong.

Being in the world of adult modeling I see A LOT of pain. . . . A LOT of heartbreak. SO many lost girls get into this business just for some extra money . . . to help pay for school . . . to help support themselves or even their children as single moms. “It’s just temporary.” They are only going to do this for a while . . . just a few shoots.

I too started out to make some extra money to help me finish school. Almost ALL of the time it doesn’t end where you think it will . . . the path goes on . . . the hole gets deeper . . . and the road gets darker. MOST of the time the girls don’t even realize it. One day you see this bright beautiful girl shooting tame nudes . . . the next they are signing on the dotted line of a hard-core porn company. Lost. Broken. Alone.

. . . You don’t see the pain these girls are in. The struggle . . . the drugs that they take so they can get themselves through these sets. Sometimes it’s just a show . . . you pretend to be someone else . . . become someone you never thought you could be . . . and the hole gets deeper.

I never thought of myself as one of these girls. What I have been doing “wasn’t porn.” I connect to well and so close with so many of my fans. I didn’t realize what I was doing or why.

The past few years have been very difficult for me. That is no secret to anyone that knows anything about me. I have been working my tail off to support myself, my farm, my rescues, my family, and the list goes on. No matter how hard I worked, no matter how many people or creatures I helped, I STILL had that void inside of my heart and my soul, connecting with person after person through my site as REAL FRIENDS. I understood the loneliness of the people that I would talk to . . . because I myself was so lonely. The more I shot . . . the deeper my darkness got . . . the more I understood the pain of others. My friends and my fans.

There is ONE common thread to so many of us online here . . . the need to be loved, accepted, cared for, the need to have SOMEONE understand you and connect with you. At the end of so many of these emails was that loneliness. SO many men have asked me what they were doing wrong, how to find a special girl like me for THEM. How to fill that “void” in their hearts . . . in their souls. For a long time I thought I was helping to fill that void in the lives of so many, and in a way I was. But it was all a lie. I could never fill that void for anyone . . . only be a sinful band aid for it. Only cause the loneliness to deepen . . . only cause my own soul to ache more.

I have been looking so long and so hard for someone to love me: love ME for ME. Fill that hole in my soul. Complete me. All this time the only thing standing in my way was me. I have been blind and wrong. On so many levels for so long.

I have decided to leave the world of adult and porn behind me . . . and follow the Lord. I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and am devoting my life to HIS WILL. I have found the one thing that can, will and DOES fill that void . . . and that is GOD.

I have been trapped in sin and destruction for so long. Disappointment after disappointment . . . painful venture after painful venture. I have been my own worst enemy. Holding the key all along that could set me free from the darkness that had slowly enveloped me . . . that was eating away piece by piece my soul. Burning the light out of my eyes so slowly that I didn’t even see it . . . didn’t know it . . .

It is with a new clarity and a new purpose that I will continue my life. I WANT TO HELP THESE GIRLS! These lost souls . . . these girls that are ABUSING THEMSELVES. Selling themselves for NOTHING. I want to help them STOP THIS PAIN. I want to show them the light . . . and the love of Jesus. ONLY HE CAN FILL THIS VOID IN THEIR LIFE! HE IS THE WAY . . . THE ONLY WAY.

I also want to help my fans . . . my friends . . . this void in your life and heart. You seek pornography to fill it . . . it’s only a bandage. . . .

I love my fans, and I love YOU. I want YOU to feel this peace. I want YOU to get out of the darkness that is all around you. You can not live with one foot in Christ and one in the world. Our time here is so short . . . today could be your last day here. And what will you have lived for? Died for? There is only one way to heaven and eternal life . . . and that is through Jesus.

I will not and can not desert my friends and fans, the models, the world. I can’t and I won’t. I am hoping that the Lord will work through me and guide me to do HIS will and help those that I can. Those that will stop and listen . . . those that will allow the Holy Spirit to fill them and speak to them as He has me.

I HAVE GREAT NEWS FOR YOU! It’s NOT TOO LATE. God LOVES YOU! He wants YOU. All you have to do is accept His gift. IT’S RIGHT THERE FOR YOU! Jesus died on the cross for OUR SINS. The price for us has already been PAID IN FULL. . . .

My life is beginning NOW. From this day on I will live HIS will and HIS way. My heart is HIS.

Serving Christ,

Erica

  1. chuck

    I’m happy for you erica you are trueley one of Gods most beautiful inside and out

  2. Visitor123

    Also congratulations on breaking free. I know the new path won’t be easy but eventually there is more happiness awaiting you.

  3. Visitor123

    It is only when we are about to leave this world, the curtains of desire/lust will raise and light of truth will touch our eyes. The truth is that we are running away from reality and running towards shadows. The reality is the true women in lives (wives, girlfriends etc) and the shadows are porn actresses. The sooner we realize that porn industry is cheating us right on our faces, we will wake up. Stuck in fantasies, we are cheating ourselves. porn industry is just helping us.

    I agree real love is not easy. Our spouses have certain weaknesses and they may not be perfect all the time. But they are our only chance of finding our true love. Resorting to porn is worse…

    So let us all wake up and enjoy the love in true sense.

  4. Hellow Erica, Very good. The painful story will be the best for the next generation. It is said that ” every saint had a past and every sinner has a future”. So you have a bright future ahead. The life is very very precious. God always help those who surrenders to Him. Wish you best of luck. God bless you.

  5. laconya

    I was just looking on the internet. Wen i seen ur post im only 19 an i. Understand everything. That u where going through even tho i have never been in thr pron. Industry but i have been sumthing just like but.without all the camars it was hard to live with myself. I throught noone would love or even care for me but i did me an my husband r. In love we both love christ an we are getting married. Pretty soon but wen i seen ur post it just made me change my mind bout going into the porn. IndustryR u are a life savor an i thank u very much for ever word that u have said in dis. Post of ur miss ERICA thanks agina an have a bless life because u are an amazing women

  6. Steven

    I know I’m a bit late to the thread, but I stumbled across this one night when struggling to not look at porn. I am a Christian. Thank-you for posting this, and I am so happy for you for your newfound joy in Christ. Go forward without any shame or fear. He truly is incredible.

    Thank-you

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