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Dr. Lina Abujamra’s Thoughts on Sex and Shame

Last Updated: March 25, 2024

Lina Abujamra is a pediatric E.R. doctor. She’s now the founder of Living with Power Ministries. She’s a popular Bible teacher, podcaster, and conference speaker. She’s also the author of several books. She provides medical care and humanitarian relief to Syrian refugees and in other areas that are hurting. Her most recent book is called, Don’t Tell Anyone You’re Reading This.

Why Write This Book?

Dr. Abujamra explained to our podcast team why she wrote her book, Don’t Tell Anyone You’re Reading This. She was tired of seeing Christians—serious Christians who truly love the Lord—falling into sexual temptation.

“So there was this dichotomy of someone who truly loves the Lord, who is honoring the Lord, who then implodes their lives. And I felt that was so close to home.”

She realized that if these Christians could fall into sexual sin, then anyone could. She continued:  

“I felt a calling of God to write it. I told my story in excruciating detail. I don’t think anyone would do that if they didn’t feel some prompting that is bigger than them. And that felt like a step of faith. And it ended up being liberating for me and freeing.”

Dr. Abujamra hopes that by telling her story about her own struggles and temptations, she can provide hope and encouragement for other Christians.

“You know, you sort of stereotype in your mind the person who should have Covenant Eyes or the person who is falling into sin. I think that is a lie. You’re either lying to yourself or you’re living in ignorance of where we are in our culture today.”

Why Address Taboos Head-On?

Dr. Abujamra’s book intends to call out the elephant in the room. She believes that there’s too much tip-toeing around uncomfortable topics, “There are certain words—masturbation, pornography—are harder to say than adultery.”

And yet, despite this discomfort with addressing these topics, they are everywhere in our culture today. She continues:

“They’re surrounded, inundated… When you look at the pornography exposure of kids, you know, first exposure, age 11, most kids have already seen pornography. I really see it as an attack on Christian minds and Christian hearts. To be shy about it is not it’s not an option anymore.”

Dr. Abujamra has gone to church from a young age, so she understands the reality of these taboos, and the pressure to maintain a certain image. There are conflicting expectations, especially for Christian women and girls. On one hand, in church, they are expected to be above sexual temptation. On the other hand, the culture shames women who commit themselves to sexual purity:

“I dedicated my life as a teenager. I committed my life to go to ministry and right out of my fellowship, you know, and I’ve made it my goal to study the Bible, to teach it as effectively and honestly. And I’ve written as honestly as I could in my life. And yet it took a good year for me to go to a therapist before I was able to utter some of the things that I was secretly struggling with. And I don’t think I’m alone.”

Dr. Abujamra went on to emphasize the importance of bringing these taboos to light:

“The longer we ignore the realities and the longer we hide them, the more they become secretive. It’s like a hoarder. It’s like you show people come over, you shove everything in a closet and you lock the door. As long as they don’t [open it], nobody sees it. Until we are willing to tell our stories as brutally honest as we can, I don’t think we’re going to truly be free and be able to impact the culture.”

What Can We Do About Loneliness?

A critical problem in our day is loneliness. Dr. Abujamra explained that we are lonely people, “We have this huge problem with community in the Christian church today. We are horrible at connection.”

She went on to discuss the problem of people leaving churches and avoiding connection and fellowship with other believers. “They don’t know how to fit in. They do. And the longer you don’t go, the more you don’t fit in.”

Sexual temptations, whether pornography, erotica, or other forms, become particularly strong when you’re unable to talk about them with other Christians. And so there’s a tremendous problem of loneliness that is faced by people today—they feel they can’t discuss the issues that are truly weighing them down.

“Like most people, you already have the shame of bringing it up. Now you’ve got the shame of not having anyone to have an accountability thing with.”

We need to have deep, honest, and authentic conversations about our struggles. And this will enable us to get to the heart issues:

“[Some people say] ‘I have a porn problem let’s just deal with it.’ But it’s so much deeper than that. It’s understanding who you are as a human, understanding why there’s a nature in you causes you to have certain feelings when you open that floodgate”

In writing Don’t Tell Anyone You’re Reading This, Dr. Abujamra opens a public conversation about sexual temptation, secrecy, and loneliness. Moreover, rather than just saying “don’t do that!”, she is seeking to help people understand who they are and who God has called them to be.

You can find out more by listening to the whole podcast with Dr. Lina Abujamra.

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