Defeat Lust & Pornography the-fantasy-fallacy book cover
Defeat Lust & Pornography 2 minute read

The Fantasy Fallacy (Book Review)

Last Updated: May 31, 2024

the-fantasy-fallacyIn the area of women’s sexual purity, Shannon Ethridge is a rock star. She’s a sought after writer, speaker and life coach. Her books include: Every Woman’s BattleEvery Young Woman’s Battle, and The Sexually Confident Wife.

Her latest book, The Fantasy Fallacy: Exposing the Deeper Meaning Behind Sexual Thoughts, is not just a book for women. It’s written for men and women who are seeking pure thought lives and understanding when it comes to the types of fantasies they have.

50 Shades Proves a Need for the Truth

The author wanted to write a book for several years about understanding fantasies. It was the 50 Shades of Gray phenomenon that alarmed her. In my podcast interview with her, she shares:

“What really concerned me is when I saw that the sales of whips and chains were spiking as a result of this fiction trilogy. And I thought, wait a minute, people aren’t just interested in the fantasy and learning what it’s about, they’re actually acting it out. And my heart broke!”

The Fantasy Fallacy is not just a counterpunch to 50 Shades. The book is an encouragement to the reader to examine their own fantasies, seek understanding and to seek help from others who can facilitate God’s healing.

This book dares to plunge into topics we feel shameful about:

  • Pornography
  • Objectification of others
  • Lust
  • Bondage and pain fantasies
  • Gay and lesbian fantasies
  • Power fantasies
  • Fetishes
  • Adultery fantasies
  • Multiple partner fantasies

You’re Not Alone in Struggling with Fantasies

The author helps us know we are not alone. She gives the reader courage by calling these topics out onto the page, sharing stories of others who struggled and found victory, and shares great thoughts about why we go certain directions with our fantasies.

“In order to consider the roots of our thinking, we must allow ourselves to descend into the dark places, the hard places we (ourselves and the church) have tried diligently to avoid in the past.  We must learn to live in the tensions that our fantasies often create.  We must identify not just the surface of the fantasy but the very source of the inner tension – in other words, why we feel the way we do about the thoughts that we have.  That can be found only as we descend into some of the soul’s unexplored chasms.” (p.53)

The Fantasy Fallacy is a well-researched book. The author draws from her coaching and speaker experiences. She frequently quotes authors and psychologists who understand fantasies and the desires beneath. I could feel the depth of this book.

Taking Thoughts Captive is a Deeper Battle

As Christians, we know we need to have pure thoughts and “take captive” ungodly thoughts. But how do you do that? Fantasies are thoughts run rampant.

“How can we ‘take thoughts captive’ unless we acknowledge the true nature of those thoughts and seek to fully understand where they come from?” (p.74)

The Fantasy Fallacy will help you to understand why you keep fantasizing about the same things and how you can be free from their grip.

Helpful Links

0 comments.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related in Defeat Lust & Pornography

Editor's Picks

A support group for men.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

Porn Addiction Support Group: How to Find Help When You Need It

For many struggling with porn addiction, a support group is the difference…

5 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A thoughtful man looking at a computer screen.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

Am I Addicted to Porn? 12 Signs of Porn Addiction

Despite decades of research, porn addiction remains a questionable diagnosis in the…

7 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

Close-up portrait of male student with head on knees sitting by wall in college

Defeat Lust & Pornography

My Sin Owned Me

I have long struggled with lust, first giving in to pornography as…

4 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A young boy praying in a Catholic church.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

I Was an Altar Boy Addicted to Porn

Since I was young, I’ve battled with a deeply personal struggle: pornography…

4 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

A young man embracing his wife.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

I Overcame My Fear of Abandonment

My struggles have been with pornography, masturbation, fanaticizing, objectifying, and lying. It…

3 minute read

Read Post

Editor's Picks

Young man taking a break while hiking.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

My Imperfect Journey

My journey to overcome and avoid the temptation of pornography has been…

3 minute read

Read Post

Related in Defeat Lust & Pornography

A support group for men.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

Porn Addiction Support Group: How to Find Help When You Need It

For many struggling with porn addiction, a support group is the difference…

For many struggling with porn addiction, a support group is the difference between success and failure. When porn addiction takes hold, it drives people into shame and isolation. We don’t want to talk about struggles…

5 minute read

0 comments

A thoughtful man looking at a computer screen.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

Am I Addicted to Porn? 12 Signs of Porn Addiction

Despite decades of research, porn addiction remains a questionable diagnosis in the…

Despite decades of research, porn addiction remains a questionable diagnosis in the medical community. But there’s no question that thousands of people struggle unsuccessfully to quit pornography. If you’re concerned that you may be addicted…

7 minute read

0 comments

Close-up portrait of male student with head on knees sitting by wall in college

Defeat Lust & Pornography

My Sin Owned Me

I have long struggled with lust, first giving in to pornography as…

I have long struggled with lust, first giving in to pornography as a 6th grader. As I approach my junior year of college, I see the destruction that my addiction has caused and the further…

4 minute read

0 comments

A young boy praying in a Catholic church.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

I Was an Altar Boy Addicted to Porn

Since I was young, I’ve battled with a deeply personal struggle: pornography…

Since I was young, I’ve battled with a deeply personal struggle: pornography and masturbation. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when this addiction took hold of me, but that first encounter remains etched in my memory.…

4 minute read

0 comments

A young man embracing his wife.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

I Overcame My Fear of Abandonment

My struggles have been with pornography, masturbation, fanaticizing, objectifying, and lying. It…

My struggles have been with pornography, masturbation, fanaticizing, objectifying, and lying. It started after dealing with intense feelings of loneliness following my graduation from college and first job in ministry. I was spending a lot…

3 minute read

0 comments

Young man taking a break while hiking.

Defeat Lust & Pornography

My Imperfect Journey

My journey to overcome and avoid the temptation of pornography has been…

My journey to overcome and avoid the temptation of pornography has been a long and difficult one. It started at the age of 8. Some of my friends came over to my house one day…

3 minute read

0 comments