“What motivates you to quit porn?”
When we posed this question to our followers on Instagram, we wanted to know why they wanted to stop watching porn, no matter how big or small the reason. The responses, though short and sweet, were powerful.
I want to share several of them with you today. It is my hope that they will encourage and motivate you!
I stopped watching porn “to help heal from childhood trauma that porn was a coping mechanism for.”
In his recent blog post about the link between trauma and porn, Sam Guzman says this: “unresolved trauma can make us vulnerable to addictive behavior, including behavioral addictions like compulsive porn use.”
For those of us who have not experienced childhood trauma, it may be difficult to understand how porn can become a coping mechanism. When I first started studying this topic, I had no concept of the link between trauma and porn, but now I hear about it on a regular basis and believe that it is very real.
Porn appears to be a great coping mechanism for various kinds of trauma, but it will ultimately only deepen the problem. Quitting porn may bring back aspects of that trauma for a time, but this can lead to beautiful healing and freedom.
Related: The Common Reality of Early Porn Exposure
I stopped watching porn “because I don’t want the burden of a life of secrecy.”
Porn thrives in secrecy. Like all sin, it lives and breathes in darkness. Have you ever had someone tell you a secret and then reminded you, “Don’t tell anyone”? Suddenly, that secret feels like a crushing weight on your chest. You want to tell someone, but you can’t!
The secrecy of porn can feel like you’re carrying a literal ton of weight on your back. And as you continue to keep it a secret, it feels heavier and heavier. What better motivator to quit porn than the anticipation of having a 2000 pound secret pushed off your back.
Like our Instagram follower quoted above, quitting porn will rid you of the burden of a life of secrecy. Life-changing!
I stopped watching porn “because I love my wife and porn has caused friction between us.”
There is not one sin that doesn’t cause friction in our lives, but I think that porn is near the top of the list when it comes to relationship friction. Every day, I read stories from men and women whose marriages are being negatively affected by pornography. In most, it breaks trust, obstructs intimacy, and destroys God’s design for sex.
Quitting porn won’t immediately restore your relationship with your spouse, but it is the perfect starting point for forgiveness and wholeness as one again.
Author’s note: Porn does destroy relationships. There are situations when the relationship cannot be restored. I am by no means implying that if you quit porn, you are guaranteed to save your marriage. However, I do believe that if you want to eliminate the friction that porn causes between you and your spouse, quitting is a great first place to start. And it’s a great motivator to start today!
I stopped watching porn “to feel better! I feel stronger mentally when I don’t watch porn.”
Bad habits can really degrade our mental health. Whether it’s skipping workouts to eat junk food, or sitting inside every night watching pornography, how we conduct our lives directly impacts how we feel!
Now, imagine when you shift your habits to be productive, healthy, and wholesome. You’ll feel healthier, more motivated, and mentally strong. By quitting porn and replacing this unhealthy habit with better ones, you will find that your lifestyle can improve in ways you never thought possible!
Related: 6 Ways Watching Porn Affects Your Mental Health
I stopped watching porn to “honor God. Honor my wife. Honor my purpose.”
When watching porn, do you feel like you are honoring God? If God was standing beside you while you stared at your phone screen, would he feel worshipped and glorified?
What about your spouse? Will your porn habits strengthen their self-esteem? Do you feel like you are truly achieving your purpose in life through a porn addiction?
I ask these questions, not to induce shame or guilt, but to give you the motivation to quit for some of the most important parts of your life: God, your relationships, and your purpose. Let the quote above sink deeply into your mind and truly consider what motivates you to watch porn—but even more importantly, what can motivate you to quit?
What’s next?
Our Instagram followers have just given you five amazing reasons to stop watching porn. Keep in mind, these are coming from people who are currently in the throes of recovery. They’re experiencing the ups and downs and the temptation to relapse. They’re also finding that having the motivation to quit porn makes this difficult journey even more rewarding.
So, what is the next step for you? If you’re feeling weighed down by pornography and long for its burden to be lifted off your back, I want to encourage you to first, make a list! Write down five reasons why you desire freedom. They can be the same five reasons that our followers shared above, or they can be totally different!
Once you’ve made your list, duplicate it (if you have a photocopier, this job just got a whole lot easier). Tape copies of this list in the places of your home where you feel most tempted. Perhaps it’s in the bathroom or basement; tape, please! The next time you’re sitting in your basement, bored with pornography just a few clicks away, look at the list you made and read it to yourself. Remember why you want to quit porn and make the decision to choose the list over addiction.
This sounds easy, but it’s going to be difficult! It’s going to take perseverance, courage, and a LOT of self-control. But, you can do it, and there are so many incredible tools to help you. A mentor (or ally, as we like to say!) can walk alongside you and regularly check-in to see how you are handling recovery. Recovery groups exist in churches and secular settings, where you will be able to share your journey with others walking the same road. Covenant Eyes is here for you through Screen Accountability and blog posts like the one you’re reading now!
Finding freedom from pornography, no matter how strenuous the journey is, is so worth it. Are you ready to take on the challenge? If so, share in the comments what motivates you to stop watching porn! I look forward to being encouraged.
This is possibly the dumbest ‘internet list’ I’ve ever seen, on multiple levels.
All the above. Especially noting that the ultimate goal is not to just be free FROM porn rather it is to be FREE TO live and love as god intended us to to be joyful in him and in communion w others.
I would like to say that my motivation is like the one mentioned before
“I Love God and I Love my beautifull Wife and i want to honoring them and the covenant that we have in marriage”