It can be challenging finding an accountability partner, especially if you have a history of isolation or have had bad past experiences. But you can do this. I believe God wants you to find close companions in your sexual purity journey. Be patient. Give it some time. Keep working on it. And try again.
Here are eight pools of people that you might tap to find the right accountability partner(s).
Or just watch the video:
Pools of People
- Close friends – Safe friends who know our story make the best accountability partners.
- Old friends – They can be brought up to speed and will probably be a good option.
- Church small group member – A general area of support that likely has others who have sexual struggles, they just haven’t talked about them yet.
- Minister – Good relationship to have anyway. Maybe the minister can help you get started for a period of 4 weeks?
- Counselor – Always a solid option. Might be expensive, but they will do a good job of getting you started.
- Support group – I love this option! An instant group of friends that will understand your struggles and probably a good pool to find an accountability buddy or sponsor.
- Spouse? – For most, no. Our spouses are natural accountability partners for us, but they may have been damaged by our sexual sin. As your marriage heals, you spouse will be able to help more. Make sure you don’t load them down with the whole thing.
- Family member? – For most, no. Family members are good general support, but it’s sometimes hard for them to ask the tough questions. I do know several sexual strugglers who have a close family member that are helping them.
Other Accountability Thoughts
- Take a risk.
- Start small and work your way up as trust is earned.
- Agree to a trial period of 4-6 weeks.
- Commit to it. No excuses. You don’t want someone half-hearted.
- Keep trying. The right person is out there.
- Don’t forget it takes time to move from acquaintance to friend to trusted friend.
Accountability Jumpstarts: We Can Help!
My wife and I offer a service at PurityCoaching.com called Accountability Jumpstarts. We are willing to be your Accountability Partner for one, two, or three months. It could be a great help to you, especially when your spouse needs to be able to trust your Accountability Partners.
For Covenant Eyes readers only, use the code COVEYES25 for a 25% discount on their Accountability Jumpstarts service.