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Be Aware: Porn Harms – Is Porn Addictive?

Last Updated: February 21, 2014

Covenant Eyes Radio – Episode 106

[powerpress]

In this special series on Covenant Eyes Radio, we are addressing the harms caused by pornography.

This week we are talking about the controversial subject of pornography addiction. Can someone be truly addicted to pornography?

We have three guests for our roundtable discussion.

  • We have Michael Leahy, best known for his university tour, Porn Nation, which has visited over 200 campuses. As someone who is a self-identified recovering sex addict, Michael speaks with us about his take on the subject of porn addiction.
  • Next, we have Jan Meza, an ex-porn star who now speaks out about the destructive nature of porn, both for the consumers and the performers.
  • Last, we have Noel Bouché, Vice President of pureHOPE, a national coalition that has helped to educate the public about the harms of pornography for nearly 30 years.

For more about the harms of pornography, visit PornHarms.com.

Music for today’s podcast is “There is a Curse” by The Difficulty
Listen to more Covenant Eyes Radio on iTunes.
  1. Tanya

    My story is the same as Ann, but I married Unequally-Yoked. My husband is not in church. I have to stand in the gap for him. I pray and God gives me comfort, it does hurt deep in the heart. Jesus Christ is who gets me through the day. This is something he’s been doing before he met me and I wish I have known. I have to pray and read the Bible because I don’t want bitter to set in my heart. I can’t find myself to have a sexual relationship with him and he know the reason.

  2. Jay

    When I first saw the topic of this post, I sighed and thought to myself, “This is like sitting around discussing whether or not the earth is flat.” But it hit me that these discussions are critical. We still have people who think porn is is an normal as putting peanut butter and jelly on a sandwich and eating it.

    • Luke Gilkerson

      @Jay – It’s true. There first those in the academic community that dispute precise terms: should we call it “sexual addiction,” “hypersexual disorder,” or a “compulsive” behavior. Then you have those throughout the world who are unaware of the addictive nature of porn altogether. These things really do need to be discussed.

  3. Hi, Ann

    What you’re describing, unfortunately, occurs all too frequently. The guilty husband denies, then minimizes, then blames, all to avoid taking responsibility for his own thoughts, decisions, issues, and behavior. You cannot allow his tactics to distract you from the truth or cause you to doubt your own sanity. And you must not deny your own feelings of hurt and betrayal because of his denial and blaming. Stick to your guns.

    I have some practical advice for you. It’s proven to be effective, but I must warn you that it will, most likely, cause the tension in your marriage to become almost unbearable before things get better. That’s because the actions I suggest will bring to the surface what your husband wants to keep buried: the truth of his dysfunctional relationship with sex. The more you refuse to cooperate with his denial, the more he will try to make you the bad guy. It will become unpleasant, but it’s the only way.

    First, get yourself an older Christian woman to become your mentor and accountability partner. She should be wise, a mature believer, have a good marriage (or had a good marriage if she is widowed), and respected in her church community. You need someone to help remind you that you are, indeed, sane. Dealing with an addict can be a crazy-maker. You need a lifeline to the outside world of normalcy during this difficult time.

    Second, start defining boundaries and practice tough love as outlined in the article, “My Husband Is Having an Affair with Porn, What Should I Do?” It is designed to help you remain true to your own perspective (which is healthy and right) while leaving your husband less opportunity to hide, deny, minimize, blame, and avoid responsibility.

    Deep inside, you KNOW your husband’s behavior is not your fault; it’s driven by emotional and personality issues that existed long before meeting you and only he can address them. It’s not your job to fix your husband; your job is to reflect the truth and support him as he takes responsibility for his own healing and growth through Christ.

    Stand firm!
    Mark

  4. ann

    my husband looks at porn, and when he is caught he is like “I don’t know where that came from?” He blames it on search engines, pop ups, etc. Then when I get upset over it he turns it around and gets upset back at me making me feel like it’s my problem not his. As far as I know our sexual relationship was good, but when I catch him at it through histories etc. from the web I don’t want any part of a sexual relationship with him because when we do have sex I’m thinking he is thinking of those women on the porn sites and it completely turns me off. We were supposed to have lunch together today, but he forgot, which also makes me feel like I’m absolutely worthless. What can I do?

    • Tanya

      Hi Ann, your story is what I’m living now. If I had to tell my story all I would have to do is copy and paste yours. That is how identical my story is to yours. I pray for my husband, and will pray for yours. I looking to join a support group in person.

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