I’ve learned the hard way that pornography addiction will never be broken unless there’s genuine biblical repentance, and I’ve also learned the hard way that genuine biblical repentance always requires radical life changes. To break the chains of pornography addiction, I had to go beyond the never-ending cycle of sin-guilt-shame-sorrow-confession-rededication-repeat.
Many years ago, I began sincerely asking God, Christian counselors, and myself: “What do I need to change in my life to keep myself from committing this sin again?” With that question in the forefront of my mind, I’ve spent the last 10 years developing, editing, and striving to live what I call my personal purity battle plan.
That’s what you’re about to read, but before you read it, I need to make three things very clear …
- I’m not saying or implying that every Christian man needs to do everything that I do. This is my personal purity battle plan that fits my life with my specific struggles and history. Take from it whatever you feel will help you.
- I’m not saying or implying that this is the “silver bullet” that will make you and I porn-free for life. Believe me, I totally realize that without God’s Spirit empowering me, I’ve got nothing but words on a page!
- This is still a work in progress, just like me. Your feedback is welcomed and appreciated.
My Personal Purity Battle Plan
1. Every morning refocus, renew, refill, and realign with God’s Word (reading, studying, memorizing, meditating, or listening to a sermon). Remember, freedom follows fullness. Beholding the glory of God transforms a man. So I keep myself full on the Living Word and keep continually beholding Jesus Christ, the glory of God. (Hebrews 12:2; John 4:13-14; 2 Timothy 3:16; 1 Peter 2:2; Psalm 119:9-11; Colossians 1:16; 2 Corinthians 3:18; Ephesians 4:23-24)
2. Every morning review my Personal Purity Motivation. (Romans 12:2)
3. Every morning spend some time in prayer, recommitting myself to Christ as a living and holy sacrifice, and ask for His grace to live that this day. Without Him, I can’t do it! (Romans 12:1; Matthew 26:41; James 4:3; John 14:13-14)
4. Remind godly friends/mentors to pray for my personal purity and my continued victory over temptation/sin. (James 5:16; Matthew 18:19)
5. Never use the Internet without being monitored by Covenant Eyes Accountability Software. Make sure Covenant Eyes is monitoring all my Internet devices: home computer, work computer, iPhone, etc., and completely get rid of all apps that allow unmonitored Internet access. (Romans 13:14)
6. Never possess or listen to music that contains profanity, sexual content, innuendos, crude humor, etc. Make sure that all my music aligns with Philippians 4:8 or get rid of it.
7. Don’t buy, rent, or watch movies or TV shows that contain sexual content, nudity, or crude humor. They’re triggers for lust. (Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
8. Keep away from “fitness” type magazines. They always contain sexual articles, pictures, and advertisements. They’re also triggers for lust. (Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
9. Keep away from satellite radio. It contains some very inappropriate stations/content. (Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
10. Do not stay up late and watch TV when all alone. Go to bed when my wife goes to bed. (Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
11. Do not browse or preview any type of “adult” channels or movie titles on Pay-Per-View, Netflix, etc. Remember, it only takes a spark to ignite a forest fire! (Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
12. Bounce my eyes away from alluring images on billboards, magazine racks, etc. then quote a defense verse like Job 31:1 or 2 Timothy 2:22 or 1 Thessalonians 4:3.
13. Don’t talk or joke about sexually perverse things. This too has been a trigger. (Ephesians 4:29; 5:4)
14. Always look women in the eyes. If they’re dressed provocatively, get away as quickly as I can! Bounce my eyes away and quote a defense verse. (Job 31:1; Matthew 5:28)
15. Always conduct meetings with females (other than my wife or daughters) in a public place or have a third party present. Never meet alone with females! (1 Thessalonians 5:22)
16. Never flirt with females. Period. If they flirt with me, flee. (1 Thessalonians 5:22; Galatians 5:9)
17. Do not touch females other than my wife and daughters. Only a side hug is appropriate for other females. (1 Timothy 5:2)
18. Maintain honest weekly accountability with my accountability partners. Remember, accountability is absolutely pointless if I’m not going to be honest or if I’m going to be vague about my temptations, struggles, and failures. Remember to immediately contact my accountability partners when I’m in the moment of temptation! (Proverbs 27:17; 2 Timothy 2:22; Hebrews 10:24)
19. Notify my accountability partners in advance when I know I’m going to stay alone in a hotel room, and always have them check on me the next morning. As much as possible don’t travel alone. (Proverbs 27:17; 2 Timothy 2:22)
20. Every week keep myself interacting with, listening to, and watching godly men who are spiritually growing and impacting this world for Christ (mentoring meetings, phone conversations, listening to their podcasts, reading their books and biographies). Remember, I rise or fall to the level of men I surround myself with! (Proverbs 27:17; 2 Timothy 2:22; Hebrews 10:24)
21. When feeling very tempted, do the following …
- Look for the way of escape and completely flee the location where I’m being tempted. Get out of there—just like Joseph did. (1 Corinthians 10:13; Genesis 39:12)
- Immediately contact my accountability partners for support and prayer. Don’t try to fight alone. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)
- Quote Scripture Defense Verses out loud like 2 Timothy 2:22; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5; and Job 31:1.
- Out loud reclaim my new identity in Christ, reminding myself of who I now am in Him (New Creation, His Beloved, His Adopted Child, Ambassador of Christ, Temple of the Holy Spirit, etc.).
22. Continually identify anything in my life that causes/triggers me to sin, and completely amputate it out of my life. There must be separation from even the causes/triggers of sin. Remember, whatever causes/triggers me to sin, that thing to me is sin. Until I completely remove everything that causes me to sin, I cannot expect victory over sin! (Matthew 5:27-30; Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
23. Keep myself well rested with adequate sleep and be especially on guard when I’m sick or spiritually rundown. During those times don’t isolate myself. Stay in Christian community. (1 Timothy 4:16)
24. Do not spend much time home alone. When I’m home alone and feel the slightest temptation, flee! Go to a public place (coffee shop, library, park, gym, church office, etc.). (1 Corinthians 10:13; Genesis 39:12; 2 Timothy 2:22)
25. Continually keep myself focused on the specific mission/purpose/calling that God has given me, and go fulfill it. (Matthew 5:13-16; Ezra 7:10; 1 Timothy 4:16
26. Often take time to enjoy the good pleasures that God has given me, like spending time with good friends, date nights with my wife, read a good book, watch a good movie, go kayaking or hiking or mountain biking, etc. Instead of focusing on all the “thou shalt nots,” enjoy the many good gifts my Heavenly Father has given me. (James 1:17)
27. Always remember, this is a one-day-at-a-time battle. Just focus on winning the battle today. Don’t worry about tomorrow. “Victory is won not in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later win a little more.” – Louis L’Amour (Matthew 6:34)
28. Continually remind myself that in Christ, there is nothing I can do to make my Heavenly Father love me more, and nothing I have done to make Him love me less. Let that absolute truth motivate me to a life of holiness. (Romans 5:8; 8:37-39; Galatians 2:20)
Jason George is the Founder and President of Narrowtrail Ministries. He’s an itinerant evangelist and teacher who speaks at churches, camps, conferences, schools, etc. He and his wife have been married for over twenty years and have three children. Jason utilizes Covenant Eyes Accountability Software on all of his computers and his iPhone. Jason also produces a weekly podcast called, “THE GRIZ PODCAST,“and it’s all about helping boys become men and helping men become better men. It’s available on iTunes.
Now I decide to talk to my leader, who has been my prayer and accountability partner. I have hidden lots of secrets from him until time came when I am no longer opening my life and struggles to him.
Thank you very much Lord for this article. I want to live a guilt-free life. I want freedom! Brothers and sister, please pray for me too. I need you in this very moment. 😭
Hello, I’ve come to this article through a Bible Reading plan on the You Version Bible app. Thank you very much for this!
As a female, I’d like to remind people that pornography is, perhaps increasingly a problem for women and young girls too. Please pray for us as well as the ministry for freedom from pornography for females.
On the thought of touching or not touching women, since many people here seemed concerned : aye, we don’t want legalism and religiousness with these things in Christ, but we each have our own limits and boundaries. God never said not to touch women in the Bible explicitly, but he said to flee from temptation—so how can we know where the line is?
The safer the better.
I can tell you that when I met a classmate who simply wouldn’t hug girls, I did not think of it as legalism or over-board. I saw a man who feared God and would not let his guard down, and was a man of principles despite the un-conventional nature. As a female I felt very safe knowing my Christian friends have very so called ‘conservative’ boundaries with touching, spending time alone etc. In fact, sometimes I wish all of my friends were more like that.
At the same time when I saw male Christian classmates hugging girls, I didn’t see them as immoral or anything, they have their own beliefs—but sometimes I think those beliefs are lack of certain beliefs. Between the two type of classmates, I prefer to be around those who are more careful.
Let me say one more thing, as a daughter of a pastor, I would never like to see my father embrace another woman than my mother, and his own family.
It is not only a matter or “wether or not I will be tempted”, but also a decision that shows, as Christians we are careful, extra-extra careful, for we fear a God who is holy, and therefore we strive to be holy in every small detail.
At the same time, please don’t be afraid to tell girls who try to hug you or touch you unnecessarily a simple “please don’t”.
If you’re worried about alienating them, don’t worry. And besides, to believe in Christ sometimes we are asking to be alienated.
All the best!
Hannah, thanks for your insight, with my addiction to ponography/lust it has lead me down dark roads and twisting Love/Respect for Women of all ages, but for some time now, i am on a road of recovery and that will be for the rest of my life, to get back to what i was thanking about your comment on hugs to another Woman, for me i shouldn’t because it is a trigger for me yet i don’t want to be rude.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.!.!.!.
I have stopped saying to myself that this battle can’t be won. I keep trusting and obeying God in everyday and encouraging myself with the helpful articles posted by authors of covenant eyes and other christian blogs.I stumble sometimes but I’m better now than before. Thanks Mr Jason. God help us all.
First of all I thank God and our Lord Jesus for Loving me so much in leading to find this article. I thank all of you who have opened up about your struggle with sexual sin for their is strength in numbers. I must say this that weather you are single or married the way to freedom is the same. We must all follow the ultimate example and that is Jesus. The number one thing he always did before any task set before him was PRAY. Luke 18-1, Phili 4:6-7. Yes I know as long as we are in this flesh we will never be totally free from the influence of sin. But are goal is to Sin Less. We all have to take steps to help us fight against the desire to sin but without Prayer and the guidance of the Holy Spirit we will fail. May Lord continue to lead and guide us on this journey. God Bless you all!
I’m on day 12 of the 40 day challenge. I’ve had some set backs but still plugging by His Grace!
I’m struggling with pornography, i feel encouraged to stop from reading this article and knowing that I’m not alone. I’ve prayed and prayed and see god has led me to this article, just want to say thank you
It’s been just over a year since you wrote saying that you were having problems with porn. I wonder how you are going today.
My personal experience is that the devil has a lot to do with porn watching.
I had to have a deliverance . My filter is working. So no porn on my phone anymore.
The good Lord in is Love and Mercy has healed me.
Knowing how dreadful this problem is, I now pray for my brothers and sisters who are going through hard times and I also pray for those in the porn industry.
One thing is for sure, if one is really trying to beat this dreadful addiction, through the grace of God it will happen.
This is very sound, helpful and constructive advice. I have become more and more convinced by my experience, however, that porn is a different sort of problem for a single, celibate, never been married man, than it is for a married man, such as the author of this article. There is a despair of not having a wife, a fear of never finding a wife, that add their own destructive dynamic to the problem. It can be extremely difficult during the holidays when intimacy and love and family are emphasized everywhere one turns. I’ve come to depend more on Christ, but that doesn’t make this problem go away.
Hello, Chris – I absolutely agree. There is a strength to sexual temptation to the single person that is completely lost on those of us that are married. I’ve honestly thought that to myself multiple times, fearful of what my own sexual desires would do if I were not married. Thank you for being honest and keeping us honest by sharing your thoughts.
Warmly, Chris
Dear Chris,
I agree, this article is very informative and encouraging for those who are pursuing freedom from pornography. I, also, agree that the struggle with pornography is different when you are single, celibate, and never been married. But, that doesn’t mean it is impossible to remain pure in your mind. The methods used to remain pure just have to be implemented with more intensity because your sexual desires cannot be satisfied. Don’t despair. There is hope. Although I’m now married, I was single and celibate (and, a virgin) before then. I’d like to share some of my story to give you hope. I struggled with porn when I was a child and the Lord freed me from that addiction. However, being free didn’t mean I never experienced temptation again, especially since I desired marriage. I did much of what is in this article to free me from porn and fight against its temptation. Renewing my mind was what helped me the most. I focused less on what I was missing from not being married and more on what I gained from being single. I had more time to serve others and do the things that I enjoyed. Another thing I did to renew my mind was that I stopped watching clean love stories and listening to clean music about romance. None of these things are inherently wrong, especially since I have high standards as to what I watch and listen to, but I realized they fed the despair I felt from not being married. Instead, when I fed the desire to serve the Lord while single, I spent less time in wondering if and when I would get married. Finally, when I’d experience moments of temptation, I’d remind myself that sex is designed to be shared by two people who are married to each other and not by one person to satisfy a craving. Now that I’ve been married for about 1 year and a half, I’ve seen the benefits in learning how to fight temptation to view porn. The temptation doesn’t go away once you’re married. I hope this was helpful. Continue to pray, renew you mind, read & quote scripture, and believe that the Lord will help you. “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13 – NIV)
Thank you. This article has broadened my chain of thought concerning the amount of cutting off I NEED to do. Been very helpful. 😃
It’s a comforting thing to know you’re not alone. It’s also nice to know you can learn from others experience.
Thanks Jason for your write ups and tips. Thank yo more for being humble enough to say you don’t have all the answers and, let readers know it’s all about Christ.
The song by Dolly Patton readily comes to mind “one day at a time sweet Jesus. That’s all I’m asking from you. Lord help me TODAY, SHOW ME the way…”
God bless you Jason.
Thankyou so much. I can identify with your story and everything you have shared. God bless you for sharing this!