I’ve learned the hard way that pornography addiction will never be broken unless there’s genuine biblical repentance, and I’ve also learned the hard way that genuine biblical repentance always requires radical life changes. To break the chains of pornography addiction, I had to go beyond the never-ending cycle of sin-guilt-shame-sorrow-confession-rededication-repeat.
Many years ago, I began sincerely asking God, Christian counselors, and myself: “What do I need to change in my life to keep myself from committing this sin again?” With that question in the forefront of my mind, I’ve spent the last 10 years developing, editing, and striving to live what I call my personal purity battle plan.
That’s what you’re about to read, but before you read it, I need to make three things very clear …
- I’m not saying or implying that every Christian man needs to do everything that I do. This is my personal purity battle plan that fits my life with my specific struggles and history. Take from it whatever you feel will help you.
- I’m not saying or implying that this is the “silver bullet” that will make you and I porn-free for life. Believe me, I totally realize that without God’s Spirit empowering me, I’ve got nothing but words on a page!
- This is still a work in progress, just like me. Your feedback is welcomed and appreciated.
My Personal Purity Battle Plan
1. Every morning refocus, renew, refill, and realign with God’s Word (reading, studying, memorizing, meditating, or listening to a sermon). Remember, freedom follows fullness. Beholding the glory of God transforms a man. So I keep myself full on the Living Word and keep continually beholding Jesus Christ, the glory of God. (Hebrews 12:2; John 4:13-14; 2 Timothy 3:16; 1 Peter 2:2; Psalm 119:9-11; Colossians 1:16; 2 Corinthians 3:18; Ephesians 4:23-24)
2. Every morning review my Personal Purity Motivation. (Romans 12:2)
3. Every morning spend some time in prayer, recommitting myself to Christ as a living and holy sacrifice, and ask for His grace to live that this day. Without Him, I can’t do it! (Romans 12:1; Matthew 26:41; James 4:3; John 14:13-14)
4. Remind godly friends/mentors to pray for my personal purity and my continued victory over temptation/sin. (James 5:16; Matthew 18:19)
5. Never use the Internet without being monitored by Covenant Eyes Accountability Software. Make sure Covenant Eyes is monitoring all my Internet devices: home computer, work computer, iPhone, etc., and completely get rid of all apps that allow unmonitored Internet access. (Romans 13:14)
6. Never possess or listen to music that contains profanity, sexual content, innuendos, crude humor, etc. Make sure that all my music aligns with Philippians 4:8 or get rid of it.
7. Don’t buy, rent, or watch movies or TV shows that contain sexual content, nudity, or crude humor. They’re triggers for lust. (Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
8. Keep away from “fitness” type magazines. They always contain sexual articles, pictures, and advertisements. They’re also triggers for lust. (Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
9. Keep away from satellite radio. It contains some very inappropriate stations/content. (Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
10. Do not stay up late and watch TV when all alone. Go to bed when my wife goes to bed. (Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
11. Do not browse or preview any type of “adult” channels or movie titles on Pay-Per-View, Netflix, etc. Remember, it only takes a spark to ignite a forest fire! (Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
12. Bounce my eyes away from alluring images on billboards, magazine racks, etc. then quote a defense verse like Job 31:1 or 2 Timothy 2:22 or 1 Thessalonians 4:3.
13. Don’t talk or joke about sexually perverse things. This too has been a trigger. (Ephesians 4:29; 5:4)
14. Always look women in the eyes. If they’re dressed provocatively, get away as quickly as I can! Bounce my eyes away and quote a defense verse. (Job 31:1; Matthew 5:28)
15. Always conduct meetings with females (other than my wife or daughters) in a public place or have a third party present. Never meet alone with females! (1 Thessalonians 5:22)
16. Never flirt with females. Period. If they flirt with me, flee. (1 Thessalonians 5:22; Galatians 5:9)
17. Do not touch females other than my wife and daughters. Only a side hug is appropriate for other females. (1 Timothy 5:2)
18. Maintain honest weekly accountability with my accountability partners. Remember, accountability is absolutely pointless if I’m not going to be honest or if I’m going to be vague about my temptations, struggles, and failures. Remember to immediately contact my accountability partners when I’m in the moment of temptation! (Proverbs 27:17; 2 Timothy 2:22; Hebrews 10:24)
19. Notify my accountability partners in advance when I know I’m going to stay alone in a hotel room, and always have them check on me the next morning. As much as possible don’t travel alone. (Proverbs 27:17; 2 Timothy 2:22)
20. Every week keep myself interacting with, listening to, and watching godly men who are spiritually growing and impacting this world for Christ (mentoring meetings, phone conversations, listening to their podcasts, reading their books and biographies). Remember, I rise or fall to the level of men I surround myself with! (Proverbs 27:17; 2 Timothy 2:22; Hebrews 10:24)
21. When feeling very tempted, do the following …
- Look for the way of escape and completely flee the location where I’m being tempted. Get out of there—just like Joseph did. (1 Corinthians 10:13; Genesis 39:12)
- Immediately contact my accountability partners for support and prayer. Don’t try to fight alone. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)
- Quote Scripture Defense Verses out loud like 2 Timothy 2:22; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5; and Job 31:1.
- Out loud reclaim my new identity in Christ, reminding myself of who I now am in Him (New Creation, His Beloved, His Adopted Child, Ambassador of Christ, Temple of the Holy Spirit, etc.).
22. Continually identify anything in my life that causes/triggers me to sin, and completely amputate it out of my life. There must be separation from even the causes/triggers of sin. Remember, whatever causes/triggers me to sin, that thing to me is sin. Until I completely remove everything that causes me to sin, I cannot expect victory over sin! (Matthew 5:27-30; Romans 13:14; Galatians 5:9)
23. Keep myself well rested with adequate sleep and be especially on guard when I’m sick or spiritually rundown. During those times don’t isolate myself. Stay in Christian community. (1 Timothy 4:16)
24. Do not spend much time home alone. When I’m home alone and feel the slightest temptation, flee! Go to a public place (coffee shop, library, park, gym, church office, etc.). (1 Corinthians 10:13; Genesis 39:12; 2 Timothy 2:22)
25. Continually keep myself focused on the specific mission/purpose/calling that God has given me, and go fulfill it. (Matthew 5:13-16; Ezra 7:10; 1 Timothy 4:16
26. Often take time to enjoy the good pleasures that God has given me, like spending time with good friends, date nights with my wife, read a good book, watch a good movie, go kayaking or hiking or mountain biking, etc. Instead of focusing on all the “thou shalt nots,” enjoy the many good gifts my Heavenly Father has given me. (James 1:17)
27. Always remember, this is a one-day-at-a-time battle. Just focus on winning the battle today. Don’t worry about tomorrow. “Victory is won not in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later win a little more.” – Louis L’Amour (Matthew 6:34)
28. Continually remind myself that in Christ, there is nothing I can do to make my Heavenly Father love me more, and nothing I have done to make Him love me less. Let that absolute truth motivate me to a life of holiness. (Romans 5:8; 8:37-39; Galatians 2:20)
Jason George is the Founder and President of Narrowtrail Ministries. He’s an itinerant evangelist and teacher who speaks at churches, camps, conferences, schools, etc. He and his wife have been married for over twenty years and have three children. Jason utilizes Covenant Eyes Accountability Software on all of his computers and his iPhone. Jason also produces a weekly podcast called, “THE GRIZ PODCAST,“and it’s all about helping boys become men and helping men become better men. It’s available on iTunes.
I still have a down days but my wife has been the best for staying on track,day seven.😗
God richly bless you for what you are doing. Your article has really enlightened my spirit and now am free from pornography .
Thanks Jason for sharing this article and I struggle with porn hungry but you opened my eyes of what I should do to change. God bless you in this ministry!!
Sorry Jason I meant I struggle with pornography.
Thank you for sharing Jason, I will use some of these to create my own Battle Plan.
Thanks for your great teachings, kudos! and God bless you.
Thank you for this very helpful post, Jason. By God’s grace, I’ve been implementing these things, but this helps tremendously as a sort of “one-stop-shop” for reminders. I’ve printed it out to keep with other “pep talk” materials I keep with my devotional time materials. I recorded your Personal Purity Motivation and uploaded it to my phone’s iTunes so that I can listen to those motivators often. Again, many thanks.
Hey Jason,
I just wanted to thank you for your articles. I have been consistently encouraged by your first article–and now this one. I actually have them on the list of articles that I reread every few days or so.
I thought you should know that you really are encouraging believers by your posts!
Thanks so much James. I’m fighting the fight with you man. One day at a time. His grace is sufficient.
I am also with you all in this fight and we should be victorious someday.
Greetings, hearing your testimony or the things you’ve resolved to do just reminds me of 1Peter 5:8 Be sober! Be on the alert! Your adversary the Devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour.
1Pe 5:9 Resist him, firm in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are being experienced by your brothers in the world.
I am in the cycle of “sin-guilt-shame-sorrow-confession-rededication-repeat”… after reading this article, I am remind ed as one who trusted in the finished work of Christ, this is a daily battle. I had stopped fighting and running away from the triggers, it somewhat felt like I was over “aputating”… but now I see that I (by the power of the Lord) should do all to stand!
Resolved be transparent
Resolved to repent of my repentance
Resolved to pursue Christ in a fresh way, constant fellowship with Him
I am soooo full of Hope, I covet your prayers as I pursue this goal of Honoring Christ.
Thanku for your ministry
Hey Joe Please check out pure life ministries and the book by Steve Gallagher called at the altar of sexual idolatry. I was addicted to drugs, porn and immorality for over 17 years and am now walking in freedom from the chains that bound me. God is even using me to help other men. Please do not give up God loves you and your victory is coming.
You’re right, Matthew. It’s an awesome resource. We at CE are big fans of what is happening at Pure Life Ministries.
Chris
The reality is you have to come to a point where u realize that you as a person are an addict to pornography and need to leave the place of secrecy and ask for help from those who love you and God. Remeber Paul said where ” Sin abounded, Grace abounded much more”. Amen
Thanks for the great article and sharing some of your battles. I am going to share this with my sons and give them a way earlier start than I had. Also set up accountability with them.
Thank you so much, the list is really helpful.
I don’t think a battle against pornography is one that can be won. The real battle is with lust. If we eliminate porn but still lust, what have we gained? Once lust is understood and crucified all kinds of acting out goes away including pornography use. This has been my experience. Jim Vander Spek overcoming-lust.com
Jim,
I understand and agree. Thanks for your feedback.
Jason
Denis
Thank you Man U had a lot of good stuff in that article, know I hopefully I can put that in to my life.
Jim
Exactly !
We have to overcome Lust.
I don’t think the battle will ever be won. I been fighting it for years with no real results. Sometimes I just want to give up.
Sounds to me like you might be caught in a shame cycle. Please don’t give up!
Excellent advice all around. Lust usually starts in the mind, so yes, triggers are huge.No wonder scripture tells us to guard our hearts, and we need to be ” transformed by the renewing of our minds.” Romans 12:2
This is a battle I am facing right now and I know I have to protect my eye gates and ear gates thanks for shining light on darkness
Hi Jason,
Great list and an awesome way to focus back on what matters: serving Jesus and living for His glory. I did have a small issue with #17 however: “Do not touch females other than my wife and daughters. Only a side hug is appropriate for other females.”
Honestly, even for a Conservative leaning Christian such as myself, this seems overboard and borderline legalistic. Hugs were never meant to be sexual. I suppose if it causes you to stumble (Romans 14 ;-) ), you should not do so, but I cannot empathize on this level. Hugs to me are the equivalent of the words, “I love you brother/sister in Christ.” Hugs are only even meant to me uplifting, encouraging, and comforting — NOT sexual.
Take European customs for example… they kiss each other on the cheek to greet, the same as we hugs here in North America. The kiss is nothing but a greeting; they’re not making out and exploding with lust.
Anyway, my own two cents. I just don’t like the idea of legalism to fight lust. Legalism doesn’t solve the root issue, heart change does.
My wife tried to take responsibility for my porn addiction. I told this started when I picked up my first copy of playboy in the 70’s. It’s the same as an alcoholic. It’s a daily battle. Now she understands and is my accountability partner. At first I didn’t want to tell her. I’m glad I did. I even play audio bible readings when I’m in the shower. Christian music isn’t the same, God’s audible Word helps.
On touching females,being single and around a year into salvation I would get turned on by holding a women’s hand.
These are tremendously helpful boundaries and defensive measures to keep us away from the problematic behavior. I believe another piece is critically important. It may be implied here, but is worth stating explicitly. Movement away from the substance is only part of the healing journey. Sobriety can come without healing and that is a hard, frustrating, and even a legalistic place to live.
Moving toward who can heal us is crucial. Another way to say this is we can take the bad out, but we must replace it with what is truly good and longed for. From this perspective, porn and lust are not the core of the problem, but a symptom of a deeper issue. The deeper issue in my experience is generally a wounded or broken part of us that is attached to a deep longing that is unsatisfied. Our deep core needs and longing as humans is for love, affection, affirmation, power, control, security and safety (things we had in the Garden w/ God). When we are disconnected from these, or they are distorted, we are going to pursue them someplace and somehow.
The ultimate Source of fulfillment for our core needs is of course Christ. But often the wound is deep and the broken part may be very young and even very hidden. So I believe we must have a great deal of loving support to find the way to back to the Source.
The healing place for addiction is intimacy with God. Not sexual intimacy of course, but soulful relational intimacy. We were made for this with Christ and others. Intimacy (in-to-me-you-see) is a journey into love. It is the vulnerable work of being seen, known for who we truly are – needy, weak and dependent people. And when we risk vulnerability, this reality and welcome God’s love and the love of others in community – healing happens. Vulnerably exposing our brokenness and wounds to the light and being met by the love brings us toward healing and wholeness.
We are wounded in community, we are healed in community.