Like so many other men who have issues with pornography, I started to become addicted to porn at the age of 12. Now I am 52 years old with three years of sobriety since God gave me my wake up call. For the past 38 years, I’ve been in and out of the habit, thinking at times that I can beat this. I went from 8mm films to VHS to DVDs to the Internet—which is the worst for any man when it comes to porn.
I thought getting married would cure me, or at least stop me from viewing adult movies or visiting strip clubs. Boy was I wrong. My wife, bless her soul, put up with this long enough – until about three and half years ago, when she filed for divorce. That was my wakeup call from God. I asked my wife for forgiveness and sought out help at our church.
Not knowing my wife put me on a National Prayer chain, prayers were answered. I started attending Unleashed Warriors, a support group for men to deal with the addiction of pornography. I signed up and installed Covenant Eyes on my computer and cell phone.
After about six months of attending Unleashed Warriors, while singing to God at a Saturday evening service with my wife, I felt on top of my shoulders someone placing their hands on me from behind. I knew no one was behind us so I thought I was just getting tired. Then those hands got heavier but it was more of a weight that was actually holding me up instead of weighing me down—if you can believe that. When the worship song was over we sat down, and I got the image of a book on my mind and I actually looked up to the ceiling asking God, “Really? You want me to do what?”
So I wrote the word M*A*P (Men Against Porn). God put it on my shoulders to write a book in hopes to help other men break the chains that bind them to pornography. When service was over my wife asked me what was going on, and I told her what happened. She stated, “Then that is what you need to do.” I told her I have no clue on how to write a book let alone a book to help men break free from the addiction to porn. She told me that God will guide the whole process and that I needed to allow him to do so.
I now have four accountability partners, one of them being my wife. My book has helped several men and now one of them is also my accountability partner. My wife and my partners receive a weekly report showing them the web sites I visit on my computer. If there is anything questionable my wife is the first to ask me about any web site she feels needs an explanation. Then I would get a text or calls from the other men who also receive that same report. Between Covenant Eyes, my book (which in itself was a kind of accountability), and my accountability partners, God has blessed me being free from relapsing. This does not mean that I am never tempted, no. This is a battle and a war and men who have sexual integrity issues cannot fight this alone. I praise God each day for this victory, for my prayer partners, and for my wife.
Photo credit: botheredbybees
James Spooner is the author of M*A*P (Men against Porn): How to Break the Chains.
Dear sir
From 20 years iam struggling to come out from pornography .iam having family. I lost my business plz help me
Hello Amalanatha,
I’m glad you reached out to us, as we have many resources that can help! First, please check out this blog post, How to Quit Porn. Once you’ve gone through this post, at the bottom is a link to a free ebook called Hobbies and Habits, which gives practical insights to how you can develop new hobbies and habits to replace porn.
Blessings,
Keith
Years ago as part of a series that my church was working on they showed a video clip of a scantily clad woman laid down on a couch calling a bunch of men trying to get a date for the night.
I wrote the assoc. pastor & told him that you know (at the time) 50% of CHRISTIAN men Admit to having looked at porn! So if porn is a problem in CHURCH why would you show something like that in church?
Her scantiness wasn’t a problem for me at that time. It would be for me now. At that time I was just worried about any men in my church who might struggling. (And you know there were.)
He wrote me back and told me that he talked to his staff about the situation. So that was good.
I just wonder how many churches actually deal with the issue of sexual immorality within the church.
I think there are a lot of churches now who are at least addressing the issue, but more education is needed for church leaders about how to deal with it effectively. We aren’t the only age of the church to deal with rampant sexual immorality in the culture (and in the church). Paul had to remind his congregations to not partake in orgies and prostitution. We live in a culture of sexual confusion, which means the church must teach about sexual morals and sexual passion with crystal clarity.