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When Your Son is Looking at Porn: 12 Resources for Christian Parents

Last Updated: October 30, 2020

Luke Gilkerson

Luke Gilkerson has a BA in Philosophy and Religious Studies and an MA in Religion. He is the author of Coming Clean: Overcoming Lust Through Biblical Accountability and The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality. Luke and his wife Trisha blog at IntoxicatedOnLife.com

When you discover your son has been looking at pornography, the discovery can be frightening—especially with the nature of the porn available today.

As Christian parents, we know we don’t want our sons growing up absorbing worldly values about sex, least of all from porn. The only way to help our sons is by listening to them and speaking to them from the heart.

Below are several resources that will be a help to you:

Books for Your Son to Read:

Learning About Sex, a series from Concordia Publishing House — This series of books and DVDs walks parents and children through learning about gender and sex from a young age (4 years old) through the teen years.

Meet Mr. Smith: Revolutionize the Way You Think About Sex, Purity, and Romance, by Eric and Leslie Ludy — This is a PG book teaching teens a holy alternative to the over-romanced, casual-sex lifestyle popular in today’s world.

God’s Design for Sex, a series by Stan and Brenna Jones — This series of four books helps parents address sex and sexuality from a young age (3 years old) through the early teen years. The series includes two picture books (The Story of Me and Before I Was Born) and two books for your child to read and discuss with you (What’s the Big Deal? for 8- to 11-year-olds and Facing the Facts for 11- to 14-year-olds).

The Sacred Search, by Gary Thomas — This book is a fresh look at dating, teaching young people to abandon the notion of a “soul mate” and realize that a good marriage is a partnership dedicated to Christ. This book poses the question, “What if its not about who you marry, but why?”

The Purity Code: God’s Plan for Sex and Your Body, by Jim Burns — This book is written to teens and preteens about making a commitment to sexual integrity at a young age and addresses specific questions about sexual activities and sexual attraction.


Books for You to Read:

Closing the Window, by Tim Chester — This book is great for young men or women who feel ensnared by, or even addicted to, pornography. Chester addresses how to begin seeing pornography in a new light, how the gospel helps us to overcome sexual brokenness, how to avoid temptation, and how to find biblical accountability.

Straight Talk with Your Kids About Sex, by Josh and Dottie McDowell — This book helps parents gauge their children’s emotional and spiritual readiness for mature topics and teaches parents to stay alert to teachable moments, helping parents to frame sexuality in a biblical context.

Planned Purity for Parents, by Jennie Bishop — This is a book for parents about laying a good foundation for talking about purity in the home, beyond just sexual issues. This books brings the topic of purity back to its biblical definition (a matter of the heart) and addresses ways parents can help children guard their own hearts, even from a young age.

A Chicken’s Guide to Talking Turkey with Your Kids About Sex, by Dr. Kevin Leman and Kathy Flores Bell — This is a guide for parents who want to discuss sex and sexuality for their 8- to 14-year-old, covering a wide variety of topics and frequently asked questions.

Passport2Purity, by Dennis and Barbara Rainey — This weekend retreat kit includes everything you need for a weekend retreat with your preteen, including CDs with talks by Dennis Rainey speaking to your child about sexuality.