pure (pyur): adj. free from adulterants or impurities
We adulterate something when we add extraneous, improper or inferior ingredients. For the sake of this article, we will concern ourselves with that “something,” be it a marriage or a relationship. Two of the biggest things that destroy marriages are financial difficulties and infidelity. Of these two, only one is so grievous to the relationship that God granted permission in the Bible for divorce when it is present, that is, infidelity or sexual unfaithfulness.
For the person who works on the road, sexual fidelity can be a tough one to maintain. Loneliness and raging hormones rear their heads, and away we go! Even the person who travels with a group, such as a man who drives a bus for an entertainer, can be lonely—even in the midst of a crowd! He can travel with ten or twelve or more people on a bus and be intimately familiar with each of them. He can be great friends with all of them and still be lonely, and therefore vulnerable to infidelity.
Recently I was driving down a highway in Tennessee and heard a C.B. radio conversation that is becoming all too common. One driver was telling the other to watch for a certain black car that would be passing him soon. In that car was a female who this driver apparently thought needed to be drooled over for her legs. He described the woman to the second driver. Then, in the course of the conversation, the driver who had first mentioned the legs in the car that had passed him, said, “I’m getting off up here. I’ve got to go home and see the legs I’ve got at home.” I was saddened. Here was a man who apparently had a lady waiting for him at home, but he was out on the road eyeballing other women and then advertising them to other drivers!
Accountability is crucial!
This man may not have done anything on the road beyond what I heard, but men whose hearts are not welded to their brides will often venture into activity on the road that they would never take part in at home. This occurs in most cases because there is no source of accountability on the road. Sure, there are certain things that hold a driver accountable in other areas. For example, GPS systems, speed control systems, the famed black boxes, and paperless logs can work to hold a person accountable driving behavior or time spent on the road. But they do nothing to hold that person accountable for his moral behavior.
How many times has your dispatcher looked at your logs and asked, “How many women did you lust after today?” or “How many porn shops did you pull into?” It’s doubtful that has ever happened. The average person, regardless of his occupation, does not have a close accountability partner. But there are things within a localized lifestyle that silently nudge people toward accountability: the fear of being seen by an acquaintance when they go into a place that they shouldn’t, or regular (or even occasional) church attendance, etc. On the road, those silent nudges toward accountability are generally absent.
While it may look on the surface like a boring lifestyle, there is much to be said for living a life of moral purity. There is less risk of taking home AIDS or some sexually transmitted disease to your spouse. There is the peace of mind and joy of the heart that comes from knowing that there is absolutely nothing to hide. But even more important than that is the fact that a life which is modeled after Christ’s love for His church is a life that brings pleasure to our Creator. There is a very important directive given to husbands in Ephesians 5:25: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.”
How do we go about loving our wives as Christ loved the church? For starters, we can give them all of ourselves. When we do that, we give them our hearts, our minds, and our bodies, emotionally, physically, and sexually, too. We won’t leave room in our hearts and minds to flirt with, lust after, or become physically active with anyone outside the marriage. We won’t enter into the crude jokes and sexually oriented so-called “playful” chitter-chatter on the C.B. radio all day. We will take a stand to keep our hearts and minds strong against the pull of the enemy. We remember the gift from God that we have at home in our brides and children.
I live alone on the road. How can you expect me to develop a pure mind?
Where we work or spend the bulk of our lives has little to do with our responsibility to take charge of our lives. If we have a true desire to be men of honor and purity, we will do whatever it takes to keep our minds and hearts safe from outside forces that seek to destroy our true mission.
Yours In Christ,
Man on the Road